If only I had understood that this was a battle for allegiance to the one who is true, and not an issue of choosing the right activities, or the best curriculum, or the most promising school choice,
If only I knew that the sacrificing of my life to God's design would be the making of my character;
To have understood that the longer I loved and served and gave myself to the training of my children, the more I would understand His fatherhood of me,
and
the complete sacrifice He was willing to make for me, his own unaware and shortsighted toddler child,
who often was blind to the workings of His ways and the wisdom of His voice,
even as my children were often blind to my wisdom given for their sakes.
If only I had known that the miracle of my children's long term faith and love for Him, was not an issue of our being righteously mature and perfect in performance,
but upon our dependence for Him working according to His power and mercy--
that He was the one who made our paltry sacrifices enough to reach the hearts of our children,
because He cared more than we did about the loving and redeeming our children out of darkness into His light,
and that all He wanted from me was to give it all up to Him and to live by faith and to enjoy the gift He had given into my hands--
the gift of mothering these children, living this story, and seeing His miracles right before my eyes.
Commit your way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it. Psalm 37:5
If only I had known, it would have saved me so much emotional havoc, worry, impatience, and stress,
And I would have lived restfully in peace, and enjoyed each day more, letting Him take the weight of my fretting and worry.
Peace of the Lord be with you today, the Lord is near.
My heritage--my precious daughters, whose legacy of righteousness will live beyond me!
“What does it profit a mama to gain the whole world and lose the soul of her children?”
Paraphrase by me
From Desperate to Hope!
At 31 years old, I prepared to hold my first baby in my arms. Having been a working-woman for 10 years, I was used to speaking to large groups, traveling all over the world, having my own life validated by my work,
Yet, when I held little Sarah close to my cheek, her infant smiles especially for me, the tiny hand patting my chest those first few months, God began to do a deep work in my heart.
His Spirit moved me to start studying and pondering scripture to see what God's opinion was about children, to understand this mysterious design and connection between mother and child.
My men, the ones who will lead in righteousness--who are changing their worlds because of their sense of heritage.
Now, after 29 years of mothering, I am sure that is was God who was whispering the secrets of His will into my ears and impressing me deeply in my heart of eternal spiritual truths. And His desire and His plan was excellent, I have experienced it profoundly, and know that Biblical motherhood is a most profound and meaningful role when lived by God's design.
The first blessing out of God’s mouth to Adam and Eve in Genesis was, "Be fruitful and multiply."---that before the fall. Children are a blessing from God's heart and from his perfect design. Their souls will last for all of eternity. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Jesus took them into His arms and blessed them and said, "Of such is the kingdom of God." He also said, "Woe to the one who causes the least of these to stumble."
God fashioned the family as the place through which righteousness was to be passed down from generation to generation. Of course the Proverbs 8, and 9 passage, and 14:1—
Proverbs 31, a classic view of the immeasurable value of a woman being the glue to family, to influence in government through her marriage, to the shaping of children who grow up to call her blessed—the one who had noble words on her tongue.
“Mother of all the living” was the first woman’s name that defined a great part of her purpose. Solomon, the wisest man on earth declared that the wise woman builds her house, the foolish one tears is down with her own hands. (The house here being her heritage, family, family name--generations of her home.)
Paul gives ageless wisdom in Titus 2 that the older women, those who had lived through births, illnesses, journeys of children from cradle to adulthood, hormones, training, difficulty, challenges, calls to faithful, loyal love in marriage through dark seasons and light--wiser, more experienced women, were honored by the call to prepare, to help inspire and to to train the younger women to love their children, love their husbands and to be workers at home.
All of these verses supporting the incredible, purposeful, eternally meaningful role for women to fulfill so that the next generation of adults would have the hope of becoming righteous, brave, morally strong, sure in righteousness, passing on truth, purpose and love—to preserve life for future generations to be strong and viable.
I didn't have a vendetta or something to prove. I was not anti-feminism, but pro-God’s ways--just a simple desire to try to follow what scripture said. To please God with all of my heart, to seek first His kingdom, by including a Biblical design of family as central to His heart. In seeking Him and His word, I found these great truths, this value to a mother’s design.
But as a young mom making this choice, I faced so much loneliness and isolation. I made it through so many dark and devastatingly difficult seasons of motherhood because I saw the heart of Christ, and I knew He cared.
My fellow idealist!
When He looked out on the multitudes, he felt compassion—because they were like sheep without a shepherd.
When I look out a young moms today, I feel compassion, and I also feel that they are like sheep without a shepherd. Many long for direction and input and wisdom, help and support, a night of sleep, a couple of hours away—a small break from all the pressures, yet the mamas don't know where to go to find this small bit of help.
Most public ministry messages and leaders don't really touch the subject of mothering very much as it creates so much friction in the Christian arena with so many having made different decisions, and yet with such sad results. The Barna polls show--the constant descending morality, spirituality and faith of teens and 20 somethings plummeting every decade to an all time low. Young adults losing their faith, in some estimates up to 90% in college. Falling literacy amongst young adults, less marriage because of co-habitation, homosexuality growing, addiction to pornography by young women and young men because of the ease with which to find it on the internet, and so many more statistics about the decline of the young adult culture in many areas.
Should we not ask the question, “Could the decline of the moral fiber and faith of young adults have any correlation to the lowering of the vision for motherhood and its significant impact on children in the last 40 years?”
I have rarely met a mom who did not love and cherish their children. Yet, so many felt lost in a sea of contemporary philosophies. And I do see so many moms living in the pain of their own broken memories of their childhood sadness. I see so many moms with pressures, especially in this current economy. Many have to work just to feed their families. Many sweet moms are single and bear so much pressure alone. Many young moms have just never heard of the Biblical call to motherhood. Many come from broken families and don't know how to love their children. Many moms have not been given the permission from their culture to stay home with their children. Many moms have just never considered or been taught the truth about their role in children's lives.
And yet, we know both from statistics and from Biblical wisdom, that no family becomes righteous without the devoted teaching and intentional training of their parents. We also know that when the next generation of adults, the children in our homes, are neglected, then the future adults will have no godly character, no purpose or direction and will cultivate the demise of culture.
I think that scripture teaches us to live by faith. There can be many ways of working out a family life in which righteousness is passed on to children. We must trust the Holy Spirit to direct and accomplish His will in each family according to His direction. I do see God doing miracles in so many families and that in all sorts of situations, righteousness can abound when parents or a mom is focused on this as a central goal for her life. And none of our families will look exactly alike.
Yet, high Biblical standards must be embraced when Satan is at war with the souls, minds and consciences of this generation of youth.
But no matter your educational choice, or if you must work, building a godly legacy will require hard work, giving up of your self, sacrificing your time--as all great tasks require great sacrifice. What we sow we will reap.
So when I see a group of young moms, who don't seem to have anyone building into their lives, or giving them encouragement, wisdom or help, my heart breaks. Cultural voices are available to give moms all sorts of input that will in many cases lead their children astray, and to this, I react deeply in my heart.
I feel a bigger stewardship to do whatever I can to get the messages out, training in more places, the sweet grace of the influence of a godly woman, into as many minds and hearts of moms as I can. And of course, I especially I long for churches, and Christian leaders, to step up to the bat to be brave and forthright in holding forth the truth of scripture in these areas.
Malachi says of the priests who followed after God's heart, "True instruction was in his mouth, and unrighteousness was not found on his lips; he walked with me in peace and uprightness and he turned many back from iniquity. For the lips of the priest should preserve knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth; for He is a messenger of the Lord of Hosts." (2: 6-7)
Our leaders, our older women, should be holding up God's standards--their lips should preserve knowledge, including in this area of the Biblical call of family.
The church at large and Christian leaders should be the biggest champions of the Biblical, historical role of mothers and of the design of the family to be responsible for the values of their family.
I just long for more--more help, more support, more input, more inspiring conviction, more wisdom to be valiantly, passionately taught about the role of "mothers" in the lives of their children.
As we would never expect to throw seeds out into the wind and expect it to become a beautiful garden, so we cannot throw our children out into the winds of culture and expect them to become people of great character and faith. Especially when media, values, television, movies, magazines, cultural values at large, take marriage, purity, godly character lightly--and in the opposite direction, promote adulation of actors, athletes, musicians whose lifestyles are immoral and vain.
And yet, when God places a child into our arms, it is one of the most significant treasures we will ever be given--because what we do to invest in our children's lives will influence the course of history and the history of our children's lives and future generations. God will hold us responsible, us as parents--not church, school, society--but us, responsible to pass on God's truth and design, and righteousness
into the next generation.
And so, my heart is to help all moms, whatever their puzzle, to encourage them to do the hard thing--to take the time, whatever is costs to be that person in their children's lives, who gives them an appetite for God and the things of God, to do the work of making their home a place of real life and beauty and truth and celebrated relationships, so that when they enter the gates of heaven, they can say to Jesus, "I did all that I could to whisper into the ears of my children the truths and secrets of the kingdom of heaven and to pass on a love for you." (what does it profit a mom to gain the whole world and lose the soul of her child.)
And so I long for the Christian arena, not to be a place of conflict in supporting this calling, but a place where the significance of this calling is being upheld and taught. And of course there are many places where this is happening. But I would love to know what you feel about this and what you have experienced. I want to encourage moms to take up their place in this battle for the souls.
CALLING ALL MENTORS
Calling all mentors to step up and take notice and help a generation of mamas who need our help to raise a godly generation. I am in—how about you?
This ends our book study of Desperate. I hope you have been encouraged. Now, may God equip each of you to fulfill his great call for you as moms--to build a godly generation right in your home. And may He bless you abundantly and fulfill your deep longings in the process. All my heart out to you!
Homemade, oatmeal, honey wheat bread. Concocted from many years of experimenting.......simple comfort at the table!
Tonight, candles lit, music softly playing, the four of us sat down to dinner with a sigh and comfort for the familiar celebration each day. Nightly, we look forward to sharing in community, personally round a 60 year old family table that has born memories, birthdays, devotions, sadnesses shared, and love given generously. Feasting is what my boys called it last year when they wistfully anticipated home for the holidays.
What do you boys miss the most, I asked, curious to know just what home meant to them. It's the sitting around the family table, laughing, talking, arguing, defending, sharing life around real food and with people who understand you.
Both boys said that few of their friends ever had the family table like this. Few of my friends like to talk and share deeply from thoughts and convictions, both boys shared. That is what we can't wait for--the life of our Clarkson community of family.
One of the reasons I think our children are so articulate and highly convicted is that every night, since they were little, our habit was to pray for dinner, serve mostly real food, and then talk and talk and tell about our days, thoughts, happenings in the world. Thousands of hours of discussion and engaging their minds. Clay would often ask them what they had learned or what they liked about the books we were reading and that was all that was needed for long, long talking and talking fests.
Of course, when they were little there were lots of glasses of the proverbial spilled milk and fussing--and some even into their teen years. But mostly, shared life tied the invisible strings of love and shared life binding one heart to another and built a foundation of Clarkson community--just a shared meal and time--the secret to much of our closeness. Intentionally planned but well enjoyed now by all.
Oh, no! I hear snow is expected again this Saturday, so this is an easy and hearty meal that we might just have this coming snowy night!
When other parts of my life seem a little off, I make bread and then I feel like I have done something to add to our day! Loaves of bread hot from the oven, sitting until they're completely cooled and ready to be sliced and wrapped up--or until someone comes and starts nibbling, which happens much sooner than the cooling does!
One of my family's favorite meals is when I make homemade chicken soup on our bread days. I learned some of the techniques I use while living in Europe. Since it's a chilly, bundle up and snuggle down sort of season, this makes the perfect dinner!
Often, I will boil a whole frozen bag or two of chicken breasts as I can then freeze them in small containers and I have an instant meal. I also do this with hamburger, turkey, and brown rice!
So here's a recipe I love for these sort of days.
Homemade Chicken Soup
2-4 cups chopped, cooked chicken breast
2 cups diced/cooked red or idaho potatoes
3 cps frozen peas and carrots (or one bag frozen peas and carrots)
1 tsp garlic
1 medium chopped onion
1 Tbs French herbs ... thyme, parsley, rosemary combined or to taste. I like a lot!
2 Tbs. olive oil or butter
1/2 cup wine (cooking wine is fine)
1 tsp salt (or to taste)
a few twists pepper
4-5 cups water
3 cps frozen peas and carrots
2 Tbs butter
1 1/2 tsp chicken bouillon (without MSG!)
1/3 cup flour
2 cups milk
Boil the veggies, potatoes and chicken in the water until cooked through, (simmer for 20-30 minutes.).
While the veggies and chicken are cooking, saute garlic, onion and herbs in olive oil or butter in another pan.
Add 1/3 cup of flour to the chicken bouillon, and stir until all the lumps are gone. Stir constantly over medium heat until all the lumps have disappeared. Add milk until combined and thickened and then add the wine. Slowly add milk mixture to soup mixture, stirring as it thickens.
Enjoy! Sometimes to make it prettier, I put a dollap of sour cream and a sprinkle of chives or herbs on top.
We like to serve this with croutons, toast and applesauce!
And of course it is a simple recipe, and you may add brown rice, noodles instead of potatoes, if you prefer, and other veggies, even omit the milk and just put the bouillon right into the soup mixture ... whatever you have on hand, and whatever sounds good!
There is a window of time when children are little and are dependent upon their parents, believe everything they say and want to please them. This season of innocence and trust passes so quickly This is the time to prepare their hearts to be ready for the years when they will naturally, designed by God, begin to seek independence of thought and convictions.
All teens, in order to grow into adulthood strong and ready to face life, must test what they have been taught and own what they really believe. It is the passage between childhood and adulthood. These years--be they preteen or teen, come far too quickly. Maneuvering this transition with wisdom and faith is essential to coming through at the other end with a relationship still intact.
Living by faith in our family meant an ever-growing understanding of His presence in the life of our children and in our home. We deeply loved and related to our children, and consequently, in their teen years, we found that our relationships were founded on trust after a lifetime of building it that way.
Sympathy goes a long way in teen years. Teens want to be affirmed, loved and accepted by others their age--it is a healthy part of straining towards adulthood to become independent and stand on their own two feet. And yet it is a growing process.
Use words of life and encourage, love and accept your children, even more intentionally than before.
Teens are having thoughts about sex, girls and boys, and mysterious developments in their bodies that sometimes make them feel overwhelmed and distracted. Make sure to remember this and to ask yourself what is going on inside, not just outside your children.
If you have talked to them about everything in the world before they become teens--developed a trust relationship where they can confide things--fears, thoughts, negative feelings, doubts about God, without you reacting in fear or giving them guilt, then they will probably want to talk to you about the mysterious issues of a teenage life and you will be their ally.
But if they think you will get mad, make fun of them, yell, not understand, then often they will seek the input of others--and those others may not have your values. So teen years are the time to deeply work on building that trust relationship--so that you will always know what is going on. Better yet, start working on it when they are tiny so they will naturally come to you.
Don't ever say, "My children will never do such and such!" Beware--it is a very challenging world out there for teens and young adults, and pride goes before a fall! And they need you to walk beside them every step and to be very involved, to help protect them from unnecessary scars and to help them make wise decisions. All of us fail in some ways in our lives, so be sure to exhibit and express that your children can always come to you with anything and then prove to them that you can be trusted by listening, not reacting, and helping them with a gentle spirit.
Hormones throw preteens and teens into a slump of regressing, at times, because the hormones disrupt the familiar patterns of their body and brains! Moodiness, sleeping longer, emotional bouts over seemingly little things, are a norm with kids going through hormones. Not to mention all of the sexual changes, which are of incredible magnitude. Many times a mom is tempted to become exasperated and angry at the child, as though it is a willful choice. But since all of my four children went through this passage with such issues, though expressed in different ways, I could be more rational and not take it personally.
Many moms say that from one day to the next, their children change---Hormones!
And sometimes the passages feel a little like the toddler years. You are supposed to be the mature one who doesn't yell and become emotional--but the humorous fact is that often when moms have teens, they are reversing in their own hormones and often have emotional and angry bouts themselves.
Grace, strong heartedness and love covers a multitude of sin!
Teen years are the making of the child into an adult and the humbling of the parent who realizes they never were in control of their children! But it also makes for forming great adult friendships that will give back to you the rest of their lives. Take heart and a deep breath and expect to see God's grace and provision in new ways--and above all, don't let it get you down. It is a normal process for all of history--the reason Solomon wrote Proverbs to teens, and the means through which many adults become more humble and compassionate for others.
Take Heart! :)
Join Sarah Mae today for her last blog on Desperate! Don't go the road without a friend and find a mentor!
Nathan loved the story of the Black Stallion--a stunning, wild, untamed, powerful, jet-black horse that eventually became one of the fastest horses alive, or so the story goes!
When Nathan was a little boy and I would have to discipline him, I would explain, "Nathan, a great race horse like the Black Stallion had such potential to win a blue ribbon in races against all of the horses in the world. But until this strong, wild horse learned to submit to the reins of the jockey, it was just a wild horse with potential. To be able to run the race, he had to submit himself to the direction of the master, and accept the reins. Natie, you are like that great wild stallion--so much potential to be a champion--but you have got to learn to accept the reins of our discipline so that you can run your race in life like a champion!"
Cuddled up on the couch, squished together in rapt attention, there were teachable moments as my children would look with wide eyes and open hearts when I would read them tales of conquerors and heroes--those who gave the strength of their lives to bettering or redeeming the world. Oh, how they loved great stories! And when their little imaginations were captured with those stories, I would seize the moment and say,
"To become a world class champion requires struggle, discipline, commitment and the will to submit to the process of developing greatness, and I believe that God has created each one of you to be a champion for His kindgom in your lifetime. I wonder how you are going to be used by God to change your world for the better?
Maybe one of you will be a great writer like C.S.Lewis, or a great composer like Handel when he wrote the Messiah! Or a war hero, or a missionary, or doctor--there are no limitations to what God can do through normal people who submit to His training and live by the power of His spirit inside of us!"
Discussions of bravery, sacrifice, honor, submission to life lessons would ensue and these were the moments when the souls of my children were formed.
"What do you think it costs to become a great soldier?" I would ask.
"What if you were called to be a great writer--what kind of discipline would that take?"
"What if God wanted you to write great music that would encourage and comfort people all over the world? How would you become the best?"
And so on--capturing their imaginations with the principles of discipline was a part of inspiring them to submit to our discipline, training and instruction.
Of course, much of training is repetition, over and over and over and talking all along the way.
Yet, reaching the heart with training is as much inspiration as it is training. Both are necessary--training in truth and wisdom, practicing submitting to that training--but knowing that with the submission comes a reward.
God does not arbitrarily issue us commandments to be hard on us. His commandments, which must be obeyed, are for our best--to protect us, to bless us, to cause us happiness and to help us become the best we can be.
Understanding that bravery, heroism, greatness, --a champion made, comes from submitting to training and to discipline, is a truth that will allow all children and all adults to be teachable and trainable to greatness.
Family Way # 4
"We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit."
Memory verse
"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
It seemed we had to learn to use this "way" often in the discipline and training of our children. "Our goal is for you to learn to obey. When you learn to obey mom and dad, you will practice becoming a trained child so that you will be able to hear God's voice and be able to obey Him."
If obedience is secured only through force, instead of securing the heart--and the imagination of the heart-- then the obedience will only take place when force is exerted. Many wonderful children have entered the world to find it a place of great temptation and allure. There are no guarantees of what choices our children will make or what their path will be.
However, I think for our own children, having a vision of why they needed to submit--to understand that choosing to obey shaped their own ability to become strong inside in order to become someone morally strong and powerful to bring righteousness into the world--greatly enhanced their desire to actually do the submitting.
Just today, I was talking to one of my older children. They were talking about how so many of their friends "posed" as believers, yet their lives were a constant stream of compromises.
The goal of our training in asking our children to submit to discipline and to listen to our correction, wasn't just the behavior secured, but it was to help our children develop a responsive and teachable heart, so that they would choose to bow their knee to God's ways, when we were with them and when they were alone.
They developed their own internal sense of wanting to become disciplined, trained adults who could pursue ideals of excellence for their Lord, because the motivation of their hearts had been secured.
And so we told many stories of soldiers, athletes, missionaries, other heroes and explained that discipline and submission was the pathway to strength and character and we were their best cheerleaders as we trained, corrected and encouraged them toward the vision of owning their lives to become someone who would have a great contribution to make in their world.
What is your child's God-given personality?
What motivates their heart?
How are you painting a vision for the person they will become when they learn to "take the reins?"
"Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness."
Hosea 10:12
I have always loved fields of wildflowers. Seems to me when I see fields and fields of the beauty, (and blue is my favorite color), I almost feel like it is evidence of the invisible hands of God still planting flowers in His gardens to remind us that He is still creating and perpetuating life, even when we are not aware.
When looking at a tiny seed, it is impossible to see what will bloom from this minute speck of nothing, -the color it will produce, the bloom or fruit, or how large the plant will be. There is vast potential locked within, that under the right circumstances--planted in good soil, watered and covered in sunshine, a miracle will happen. The seed transforms into something more than itself--it gives birth to a plant that blooms and brings beauty, life, color and a fruit--and this is a miracle-almost something out of nothing.
And so, God calls us to sow--to sow broadly, generously, diligently.
Sometimes the seeds that He requires us to sow, do not obviously promise anything--yet, we are asked to believe in the potential--the latent miracles inside of these small life-seeds.
We are to sow with a view to righteousness--not seeing or knowing totally the vast potential of what is in our hands. But ours is to be faithful to sow, by faith, the seeds of promise given to us--
to cast the seed of promise into the soil of life, generously, diligently, faithfully--
And His is to do the miracle-
To take all of the planting of faith seeds, and love seeds, and integrity seeds, and faithfulness seeds, into the moments of our lives when no one else is looking;
faithfulness to the gospel and spreading the good news;
serving our children, and loving and helping our spouses;
praying and believing when no sprout of answer is in sight.
And yet, in time, in His hands,
there will be such a bounty of beauty, a harvest from the seeds planted in life, that we will finally see, that
He was creating the miracle right beside us--the seeds will indeed sprout into a harvest of righteousness and redemption that will be beyond what we could have imagined.
But, the harvest of such sowing is only for those who plant, and water and cultivate and wait, by faith, believing in the promise of what lays ahead.
So, dear God, let us look at the flowers you have planted and see the potential beautiful harvest of our lives, if we will only believe in the seed potential in our lives right now,
which by faith will become a harvest of righteousness beyond measure.
I think all mamas are artists. Women have such a gift and talent for making "place" warm, inviting, an environment that says "welcome." In a world where fast food is standard; toys are molded from plastic, relationships are virtual; and accountability little, we must all ask God to reinvigorate our imagination to understand and perceive what He designed and crafted life to be like, so that we may bring not just doctrine, but the tangible reality of Him into the life and ways of our home.
The life of Jesus should be electric--infused with excitement, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, love and excellence of character. Jesus calls his creation to be beautiful, a reflection of His own artistry.
And so we become co-creators---creating with him the reality of His life lived through all the moments of home life. This has become one of my most fulfilling tasks--the building of my home into a sanctuary of all that is excellent about the living, breathing God.
And now after so many years, I have seen the fruit of planning and building on my ideals as so many have found Him here, including my children. And so many have come to understand truth and compassion by just celebrating life here.
As I reviewed this chapter in Desperateon the Art of Life, I realized, it is still a love of mine--and now also of my children, who long to come home to the place where life is the most satisfying, pleasing, fun and peaceful--because it is the place where they were shaped and loved.
From time to time, I would craft purpose statements for myself as I would enter into a new year. Sometimes these would become descriptions of what I thought a family should be. Others, I would write about deeply bonding, loving relationships.
These goal-setting, purpose driven statements gave me a pathway to go forward on in crafting as an artist the beauty I wanted to create in my home.
But, even as a great house or an estate would require a vast and detailed plan--the colors, the interior decor, the garden, the toys that would fill the house, --in order to build it, so it is helpful to write down a vision of what it is you are building in order to be able to build it.
If you can't define it, you will not build it. Here is something I wrote about what I wanted my home to be-and the items to showcase and and habits and values I would build into the life of my home.
Here is a part of what I wrote. What would you change or how would you define the home you are building?
Helen Allingham
Home is the foundation upon which great civilizations are built. It is the sacred dwelling where souls are forged, humans have great value and children are cherished and marriage is regarded as holy.
Home is the place where virtue is shaped: minds are fed on great ideas, truth, and beauty, the finest of writing, the clearest of thinking, the food of thoughtfulness and insight are intentionally disseminated and protected every day.
Home is the place where moral excellence is modeled, learned, practiced, upheld and honored daily; where innocence is allowed to grow, where holiness is prized, and cynicism is kept at bay.
Home is the place where faith is practiced, cherished, embraced, and reflected in the very breath of life throughout all the days lived in fellowship with those who abide there.
Home is the haven of inspiration, where the art of life is expressed and taught. Color is strewn into every corner, delectable food is tasted, art, books, and beauty crafted throughout the scenery of its rooms and walls.
Home is the place where the whispers of God's love are heard regularly, the touch of His hands are given intentionally throughout the day, the words of His encouragement and affirmation pointed to lay the foundation of loving relationships.
Home is the place where stories of heroism, sacrifice, love and redemption are celebrated and embraced and heard, so they can shape the dreams of the souls who live there.
Home is a place of ministry and the gifting and giving of redeeming words, thoughts, actions, and love to all who come inside its doors.
Home ties invisible strings to the hearts of children who live there to a history forged together, to a heritage defined and celebrated, to a calling that is shared with the name.
Home is the bedroom of family, that decides the destiny and definition of the life of future generations.
Home, the place designed by God to be the laboratory of righteousness and divine calling for each one whose life was fearfully and wonderfully made.
What a grand and auspicious work a woman is called to, how significant and far reaching her building encompasses when she understands the breadth of her work of building generations in this place called home.
How do you picture the art of home life?
...
How about studying Desperatewith a group of friends? You can purchase a copy here!
"As a sleep deprived mom of a 4 year old adjusting to a new preschool and a 16 month old that just learned how to climb, I came across this book in what has probably been the most intense season of my life so far!
I started it cautiously. I wouldn't have been able to handle another cliche' devotional, where every chapter lists another way I'm not trying hard enough.
But this book was full of grace, "We've been there"s, "it gets better"s, and "You're going to make it!"s. It's mix of sound theology and practical tips was just what I needed to make me feel like I'm not only going to make it through this next year, but I might even have what it takes to be successful as a mother to my kids!
I'd recommend this to any mom overwhelmed with young children. It's the perfect blend of encouragement and challenge!"
One of the best things to me about the blogging community is the wonderful friends I have made over the past few years. These sweet women are motivated, love the Lord and want to have an impact through their inspiring messages.
Because of you and my sweet friends at Themobsociety.com (mothers of boys), Nathan reached his goal. I was in Dallas for an interview, and couldn't be present at the party, but checked my phone constantly to see what the Lord was doing. It was pretty exciting for our family to watch the amounts grow!
Thanks so very much. Thought you would want to see this article as written on the mobsociety's blog. I so appreciate each and every one of you who were of so much encouragement.
Did you hear the news? This incredible BoyMom community had a HUGE hand in helping our own MOB Writer, Nathan Clarkson fund the beginning stages of his incredibly powerful film project, Confessions of a Prodigal Son.
Yesterday afternoon, the Kickstarter campaign hit the $10,000 mark and it’s still climbing! If you didn’t get a chance to jump on board, you’re not too late — you can donate, share the link with friends and family, and pray for the work that God has already begun with this project!
As part of our celebration, we hosted a special interview with Nathan on our Facebook page last night and had such a fun time connecting with our wonderful BoyMoms! In case you missed out on the festivities, we wanted to showcase the interview portion of our evening with you here — we hope you’ll find encouragement and hope as Nathan shares his journey of being an “out-of-the-box” boy and the incredible work God has done in his life as a result!
Nathan, you represent a sense of hope to our BoyMoms because so many of them are dealing with out-of-the-box boys just like you. We know you dealt with ADHD, ODD, and OCD growing up. What are some things you might say to our moms to give them hope for their own out-of-the-box boys tonight?
I think maybe first to realize that being out-of-the-box isn’t something simple to deal with, but rather it’s something to celebrate! Somewhere along the way I had to realize that God had actually made me like this! I’m sure my mom and all you moms out there, sometimes worry how to deal with us OCD, ADHD, ODD boys, us sometimes being a little out of hand. I’m sure it can feel helpless sometimes, but I think once you realize that God actually created us this way (the way He actually intended), You will start seeing your task less of “dealing with disorders” and begin to see your amazing job as guiding our gifts and helping us become the best men we can be! Also, as far as hope goes, I see now in my life that all these things are often considered disorders in places like a classroom. Now, they are the strengths that have enabled me to be doing what I’m doing — to live an out-of-the-box life!
Here’s a beautiful quote from your mama, Sally Clarkson: “Read as much as you can about any issues your child may have so that you can know how to neutralize issues. When I understood my OCD children and that they could not help being the way they were, I knew it was not a discipline issue, but a capacity issue.”
It was so helpful for me to have a mom, who not only put up with, but understood what I was going through. Oftentimes, the things that make us different are the things that can make us feel lonely and want to hide. But having a partner (my mom) in the game with me, enabled me to cross any bridge I came across. I had a teammate. That’s all we need.
Nathan, we love what you share about the reason you were able to turn your heart back home after walking away for awhile. Tell our moms how they can make their homes a place their boys want to come back to.
To this day, no matter where I go or what I do, I have my mom’s voice ringing in my head. It follows me into every kind of situation and choice I make. It’s not a voice of judgement or one listing off rules, but rather it’s the thousands of times she would look up from a book she would be reading and say, “Nathan, you are a Hero, just like the one we are reading about,” or “Nathan, no matter where you go or what you do, I will always love you,” and “Nathan, I am your best friend and champion, I will help you become whatever you were meant to be,” and “Nathan, God has made you to be His man, don’t ever forget that.” I think that all of us find ourselves wandering away from what we know is right. But as I would find myself in places or situations I knew I shouldn’t be in, I would begin to hear the words my mom had spoken to me thousands of times. Not condemning me, or looking at my mistakes, but reminding me of who I was made to be, calling me back to the hero I had inside of me. I always knew that no matter where I went, I had a home that had arms to fall into when I couldn’t stand and voices reminding me and pushing me to be the man I was made to be.
God gave Nathan a dream to tell stories in Hollywood with a redemptive edge. Growing up, how did stories impact your life, Nathan and how do you think God uses them today?
Stories have the ability to inspire us, make us think, push us, and remind us who we were meant to be. Since I was young there were stories of heroes being read and shown to me, whether it was Superman or the great emancipator William Wilberforce. I began seeing myself in their stories and emulating the kind of heroic lives they had. Unfortunately, most of the stories now are simply inspiring us to live “how we feel,” pushing us towards a painful life apart from God and His perfect plan with the guise of “freedom.” I think now, more than ever, good stories are needed to bring light into an ever darkening world. Stories that show truth and remind us of the people we were meant to be!
Speaking of stories, tell us the story behind the movie you’re making, “Confessions of a Prodigal Son.” Why is it so important for the boys of our generation?
I think The Prodigal Son is a story that we can all identify with, it’s a story of redemption that we all crave and need! I think today, we live in a generation of Prodigals — not bad or evil people, just a generation lost in the consequences of trying to live life alone and without God. I think this story is the amazing picture of what God does for all of us, He reminds us that we are His, takes us back into His arms (no matter where we have been), and helps us become the people we were meant to be! Who doesn’t need to hear that story?!
As we concluded our evening, Nathan shared that his team is currently working on a website for the movie and a unique site called, The Prodigal Wall. This wall of stories will be a place for people to post their Prodigal story or leave a prayer request for one that needs to return home. Nathan hopes this will be a space for prayer, encouragement, and hope! To stay up-to-date on all the details of the film and related projects, be sure to head over to their Facebook page,“Confessions of a Prodigal Son” and click the “like” button.
The amount has now grown to: $11,240 and will be used, with accountability, to get the project started. We will keep you abreast of what happens next!
We ended our party with this question and we’ll ask it again here:
What do YOU most relate to in the Prodigal son story?
I would love to hear what you mamas love about this story--I think we are all prodigals and Jesus is looking for all of us to return to him.
About Alle
Most people run on food, sleep + strong coffee to get through their day. We're pretty sure Alle's energy comes from pure shots of creativity(although, she'd never turn down your offer for a Coke)! Her heart is fullest when she is being an image-bearer of the Ultimate Creator with her design work, writing, + music. Her day-to-day is filled with old children's books, large doses of refrigerator art, life-giving music + the world's best cuddles from her two favorite little people, Augustine + Caedmon. She prays that by infusing her messy-but-beautiful nest with worship + creativity, they too will learn to become followers of the King. With a passion to see the online conversation filled with the redemptive work of Jesus, Alle has partnered with her husband, Nate at Finding Eden where they document their creative journey as brand builders, blog designers, + story crafters for bloggers, ministries, + creativepreneurs.
Thanks, Allie, for writing this article!
Just got back from the airport and I think I will sleep tonight! Friday I will write about Desperate!
“Is the spring coming?" he said. "What is it like?"...
"It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine...”
― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
Spring is just around the corner. What a great time to make a fresh start at life!
A fresh start…kind of like the rains moving and the sun shining to make things fresh and clean or the sprout of a new flower from the melting snow.
This truth also reminds me of a verse in Song of Solomon 2:11-12.
“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.” Song of Solomon 2:11-12
This past season has had its challenges, and sometimes winter can appear to be a season when many things have lost their life, but spring provides a pathway to new possibilities. The transition from one year to the next, feels like there has hardly been enough time to pause and catch your breath. Sometimes, after being in such a busy season, the mere mention of taking a few moments to simply rest feels daunting.
Is there even enough time to just sit and be still before the Lord?
Spring is a time to begin anew in spending time with God, even in noticing His fingerprints--in the budding of leaves on trees, daffodils, iris's, tulips. Warmer weather. Baby animals abounding. All sorts of visible signs of His art. Be sure to notice them in front of your children.
There are always going to be people and circumstances that are vying for your attention, and seeking to suck the life out of you.
Spring is a time to make new goals, time to cultivate life and time to refresh your heart and soul even as the earth is renewed.
Despite how overwhelmed you may feel, time in His presence is not only possible, it is important. You don’t have to strive for it. As a precious daughter of the King, you have full access to His presence. The key to resting is simply being still and knowing that He is God and He is good. When you take the time to remember His kindness it is possible to remain calm amidst any storm or busy season.
In these next few weeks leading up to Easter I encourage you to
1. Take some time to remember what Jesus did for you and your family. Ponder the greatness of His sacrifice. He is no longer on the cross! He has risen! This means something. Personalize it for you and your family! You were purchased with a price and the value of something is measured by what it was worth. Jesus gave everything, His whole self. That makes you pretty valuable. Talk about something of great worth to your children and ask them what would be as valuable as giving a life away!
2. Read the Easter story aloud, one chapter each day, from each of the gospels and see if your family can pick out the differences in the telling.
3. Don’t miss out on what He did for you or forget to notice what He did at Easter. The Spirit of the living God is inside of you and His powerful resurrection life pouring through you. It is a stunning truth that we don't want to miss. Make an Easter tree and use construction paper to have your children decorate crosses or decorated eggs to hang on some branches from your own garden or pussy willows you can put in a vase. Punch a hole through each cross or egg and hang it on your Easter tree.
4.Pick flowers or purchase some lovely blooms and put them around your house.
5. Take time to have a spring day celebration--make a picnic of small, bite size sandwiches, fruit, cheese and enjoy outside or place a blanket in front of a window and have an inside picnic and look for the signs of spring.
As you celebrate the risen Lord this month with your family, spend time talking about Jesus' resurrection and His "aliveness" with your children. Listen to them as they grapple with what that means and help them explore the beautiful, vibrant, ever-present life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Blessings,
Sandra
My dear, lovely friend, Sandra Maddox, who started and leads a mom group with mentors called Treasured,
at Saddleback Church in California!
And all of her mamas do feel treasured.
Thanks, Sandra for inviting us to celebrate spring.
Today at MomHeart: September McCarthy gives us a peek into a special day with her family in, "Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk."
Join us for giveaways, a party and celebration tonight at 9:00 eastern time when the MobSociety, features an interview between me and my wonderful, ADHD, OCD, artistic child, Nathan!
When all of the other children stayed in the sidewalk when we walked around a lake at a 5 star hotel, Nathan was skipping, climbing a tree, following the squirrels.
As a small child, when Nathan had a hard time settling down to sleep, others said I was too lenient. I scratched his back and told him stories to help relax him.
He sang, pretended, wiggled, ran, talked a lot and was the pied piper--the kids all loved him, the parents wondered if being out of the box could be the right way to shepherd this child who was bigger than life.
Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe (by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae)
Heartfelt Discipline (by Clay Clarkson)
A book on purity for girls (from Nathan’s girlfriend, Rachael Stroud)
Wisdom Chasers: Catching Glimpses of God in Pursuit of Truth (by Nathan Clarkson)
A music CD from Joel Clarkson
One person will win it all!
WILL YOU HELP US GET THIS LAUNCHED?
My out of the box child is now in Hollywood, wishing to change the world. Many of you wonderful friends have already committed to the goal of his $10,000 movie start up. Through you and other visionaries, God has helped Nathan raise $8245 toward his 10,000 goal. Won't you pray about being a part of the team? Here is more about his story--and we need you to help us complete his Kickstarter off the ground! Go here for more information!
And be sure to scroll down all the way to find out where the party and interview between Nathan and me will be held and be sure to enter the giveaways!
Masterworks Festival became interested in Nathan's movie and recently interviewed him on their blog:
Masterworks, a great Christian summer conference for students in the arts and music to learn how to make an impact on their world for Christ, interviewed Nathan as an alumni.
Claire: What's going on in your life this year? (Family, work/career, etc.)
Nathan: Hmm, well, a lot actually! I just got back from speaking at two of my family's conferences, showing a promotional trailer, raising funds, and getting the word out about a new film that I wrote! It was a lot of fun and is really encouraging to get positive feedback. And as always, it was so nice to still be involved with my family as they continue to use their lives in ministering to other people!
Claire: When and how did you get interested in acting?
Nathan: To be honest I feel like I have always been acting, whether it was as a boy pretending to be Superman or dressing up as one of my favorite historical figures, I have always loved falling into characters and telling stories. Hearing/reading/watching stories was what lit my heart on fire since I was young, so it was only natural that I would grow up and search for ways to tell stories with my life. Somewhere in the middle of high school, I realized that I also loved people, and I saw what an impact the movies and stories had on all of us—shaping our decisions and feelings by inspiring, connecting, sympathizing, and moving us. So, I decided I wanted to be a part of the movement that was telling the stories that connected with my generation. In high school I attended MasterWorks, where I began to realize I could use my passion and natural gifts for God’s purposes. A little after high school I attended an acting/music commutation called AMTC (Actor Models Talent for Christ) where I was invited to attend The New York Film Academy. And the rest, I guess, is history!
Claire: What about your experience at MasterWorks most influenced you?
Nathan: I think the thing that so inspired and influenced me about MasterWorks was seeing and getting to take part in this amazing community of people who had realized they had been given amazing gifts and had decided they were going to use them for a bigger purpose than simply acclaim, fame, money or recognition. They had decided to use their God-given gifts to praise our Creator and bring people closer to Him. I think it is so rare for people to see their gifts and talents as something given by God and for God. Being at MasterWorks set the foundation for how I could use my God-given gifts.
Claire: You wear many different hats: writer, actor, film producer/director, musician, son of two popular speakers/writers… As a result, have you found it difficult for you to determine who you are as a person? Who or what defines you? Describe that journey of finding your identity.
Nathan: Being in LA, each day I see a city looking for identity: everyone scrambling, chasing, and doing almost anything thinkable to find themselves, to discover purpose, and to create their identity. And because of that, everyday I see people wrapping up their entire identity in such temporal and fading things, whether it's their talent, their ‘art,’ their sexuality, or even their popularity and money. I see people building their foundations of identity on things that will surely disappoint or disappear eventually. I have even found myself falling into the trap of finding my identity in things of this world, like my acting, music, writing, and even my family! But somewhere along the way, after I had been brought to my knees by the humbling process of failed acting jobs, losing friends, and a career with nothing to show, God found me and has been leading me down a path of finding my worth and identity in Him. This is the most life-changing, freeing experience I could ever feel, because He is the one thing that will NEVER fail. Even if everything else does, I know my worth is found in Him!
Claire: You recently wrote a modern-retelling of the Prodigal Son, and now you are in the process of raising funds to make this into movie. What inspired this, and what is the message that you want to portray through this project?
Nathan: Awhile back when I was going through one of my hardest times, I randomly found myself reading the story of the Prodigal Son, and little did I know what a powerful, recurring tale it would be in my life. In the months to come, I found myself trying to follow God but often getting lost in my own desires and foolish decisions, wondering what I was supposed to do. BUT, every time I found my head in my hands as a result of my decisions, I felt God’s loving arms holding me and His voice calling me back to the man I was made to be—just like the Prodigal. So, as I began to look, I realized I lived in a city and really, a world of prodigals, not bad or evil people—just people looking for meaning, purpose and love. Often, letting the deep desire we all have for those things led them into places, situations, and answers that too often turn out to be false, temporary, or even destructive.
I decided I wanted to be more intentional about what kinds of projects I would be in, which led me to look for projects that intended to bring light to a dark world! But unfortunately, I found out quickly that projects with the messages I desired to tell, messages I had been brought up to tell, were few and far between. So, one morning, I woke up and felt a gentle stirring in my heart to write a screenplay (something I had never done) with the messages I truly believe the world needs to hear. Long story short, a month later I had a script that had been written as a modern retelling of the prodigal son entitled Confessions of a Prodigal Son. Shortly after, some amazing people and I shot a trailer (in one day) for raising funds... and here I am!
Claire: You have a desire to use film and acting to influence the world for Christ. What needs do you see in the Hollywood scene, and what would you say are effective ways to accomplish this goal?
Nathan: I would love to see more people truly realizing the knowledge that God has created us individually with love and care to use our gifts to praise Him, and in doing so, bringing other people closer to Him as well. Hollywood needs people with a vision bigger than themselves, but one of eternity with a passion to create quality reflections of God’s amazing love through whatever medium possible.
Claire: What challenges have you faced as an actor in the professional world? How has your faith influenced how you live?
Nathan:
This might sound cliche, but I still deal with the pain of rejection and feeling not good enough, but that’s where finding my identity in God helps.
The feeling of loneliness, when you decide to follow your dreams. Oftentimes the way you can get the most discouraged is by feeling like you are always doing things on your own—every trial, every doubt—but that is why I made a choice a while ago to get involved in an amazing church, and that really helps me navigate this crazy thing called life.
Having to say "no" when "yes" would be so much easier. It is such an amazing feeling to find who you are and who you are called to be. But, with that comes who you are NOT called to be, and sometimes you have offers or situations come up, where, with just a little bit of compromise you can make money, get seen, or just feel important. This often makes saying "no" extremely hard, even if it’s clear I should. However, every time I have made the hard decisions to turn down roles/jobs/places I know aren’t a part of who I have been called to be, I see God lead me down His path into things 100 times better that what I could have imagined. It’s not always in my timing or the way I thought I wanted it, but it’s always amazing and better than what I could have done myself.
Claire: What are your long-term goals/dreams (acting or otherwise)?
Nathan: To be honest, I would just love living a life that brings light to a dark world and shows God’s amazing love for me and everyone with whatever I am doing! Though, making and acting in films that do that would be super awesome!
Claire: How can we be praying for you?
Nathan: I would love prayer for wisdom in every situation I come across as well as the continued ability to use my passions and gifts to connect with people!
Claire: What is your favorite movie, style of music, food, and place to travel?
Nathan:
Movie: There are so many! But apart from all my favorite trilogies, I would have to say The Truman Show...Sooo amazing.
Style of music: I love EVERY style of music (I know, SO cliche). Lately, I have been coming to an appreciation for pop music. I think that when it is done the right way, it has the ability to connect with someone and leave a message that will continue to play in their mind while using minimal time and potentially sharing deep personal messages in a non time-consuming format. And when you think about that, it’s kind of a beautiful idea!
Food: Oh my, I am kind of a foodie. My classic is either a Caesar salad or a good grilled chickensandwich.
Place to travel: Oh—I love all of Europe. My parents were missionaries there when they were young, so they have taken me back across the amazing countries! I am almost fully English and would someday love to go and explore England and maybe even find some of my history!
Be sure to join us tonight--and share about our giveaway! Thanks so very much. We are all very excited!
Homemade, oatmeal, honey wheat bread. Concocted from many years of experimenting.......simple comfort at the table!
There is a window of time when children are little and are dependent upon their parents, believe everything they say and want to please them. This season of innocence and trust passes so quickly This is the time to prepare their hearts to be ready for the years when they will naturally, designed by God, begin to seek independence of thought and convictions.
Claire: You have a desire to use film and acting to influence the world for Christ. What needs do you see in the Hollywood scene, and what would you say are effective ways to accomplish this goal?