Way 3 Honor and Obedience: The Foundation of Worshipping God (Mentoring Monday)

François Antoine de Bruycker--The Firstborn

24 Family Ways # 3

We honor and obey our parents with a respectful attitude.

From the first days of life, we speak the attitudes of faith into our little babies. When we treat them with gentleness and respond to them with patience and treat them as little infants of great value, we are already training the value of honor and respect into their brain patterns.

Honor is a value that must have precedence in a home, so that a child can understand the importance of  people, and  to learn to bow their knee before others who deserve respect.

The beginning of learning to value a fetus, an old, frail or infirm adult, or a person of different race or color begins with the heart attitude of learning to honor and learning to submit oneself to others.

hon·or

Definition: to show high respect or esteem

To regard with great respect

Many years ago, I was taking Sarah, Joel, Nathan and Joy to a children's museum in Ft. Worth. We were standing in line behind what appeared to be grandparents with a little boy about 5 or 6. As we stood waiting our turn to enter, the little boy suddenly laid down on the floor, began screaming and then when his grandpa tried to pick him up, the boy started slapping and hitting and spitting on him.

Immediately all four of my children looked back at my face to see what I was going to do. Joel said, "Mama, don't you know? We always look at your eyes to see what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to behave and react in life."

What do your children see when they look at your eyes?

Children naturally look to their parents for an example and model of what is expected.

One of the reasons, I believe, that God required children to honor  and obey their parents was to give them a visual and actual practice of what it would look like to give honor  and obey and value and worship to God.

How can our children learn the value of worshipping and honoring God if they have not seen it in the warp and woof of their daily lives?

It is very difficult to behave in belief and in worship to God--to understand that we are below him and are to bow to His holiness--if we have never been required to show respect to others in our lives.

There must be some visible, actual ways of teaching children respect and honor as a heart value so that they can learn the concept.

There are so many practical ways and tips to teach a child honor and obedience.

However, the most important thing to realize is that it starts with the heart. 

Respect, giving worth and honor to someone, is not a matter of forcing a child to submit to an authority  because the parent  is  stronger and bigger and can exert his power. Force of authority is the opposite of winning and training a child's heart to honor and obedience.

HOW DO WE TEACH THIS VALUE?

"Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence" I Peter 3:15

It begins with an attitude of gentleness and reverence from our own obedient and honoring heart. The power is in our own maturity to train in maturity.

A wise mother looks into the heart of her child to understand what is mulling around in the mind and seat of thoughts and motivation. Honor is passed on to a child when we take the time to know their personality, understand their heart attitude and to be able to say or evaluate if a behavior was merely foolishness or if behavior showed a disrespectful and rebellious heart.

I corrected my children so very often because of the attitude I could detect--when they were willful or prideful or selfish in response to a person or situation--much more than I corrected for behavior.

Wise behavior was trained and modeled and corrected over time. However the essence of training our children to honor and obey was an issue of teaching them to submit their wills out of a heart of respect, rather than out of us forcing them to comply.

Understand that all of us are sinful and selfish and that our human way is to "push against" anyone who infringe upon our rights. And so it is natural to be selfish and immature, but it is supernatural to be mature. 

To become mature takes a whole lifetime--at least I am still working on it. To grow in maturity and to become wiser, humbler and more discerning and submissive in my behavior has taken me years of input, training, understanding, conviction, reforming my ways and repenting--and it is a process, not a one time act.

And so it is with a child, hundreds of times teaching, correcting, loving, training, and over and over again.

For this reason, a parent should not think the child is intentionally disobedient all the time just to thwart the parent--all children are born with such a nature and all children will grow in strength and ability to obey when consistently trained and guided and corrected.

This is a process.

Ours is to wisely keep them on the path of righteousness and to give them the value and love for righteousness and to correct and train them as they are going.

Just a few practical ideas:

When our children were little, we taught them to address adults with "Miss" or "Mister"--as our children called our adult friends either Mister Brown or Miss Deb to show that there was a distinction between adults and children. Different parts of the US and different countries have ways of imparting this understanding of the distance between adults and children, but it is a necessary distinction which helps children to learn the attitude of respect--to see a difference in themselves and in adults and authorities.

Teaching manners  is a wonderful way to teach children to value the worth of other people. Giving up chairs so others have a comfortable seat. Letting other adults or guests go first in line at a buffet, or serving our guests food or beverages before we were served were small ways of building a pattern of giving honor to others more than ourselves, so that our children could understand the whole concept.

Writing thank you notes and noticing the worth of other people through words helped our children have a pattern for respect. Honoring those in position--a pastor, a teacher, the President, leaders--in front of our children instead of always criticizing them in our children's presence helped them to learn that we also honored people.

In a world of cynicism and sarcasm, we must rule over the influences of our children when so often media and the internet feels that any person and any office is something open to being criticized or being made fun of in public.

This creates a culture that has no sense of honor or respect. Guarding our words and behavior is so important if we are to instill a heart value for respect, rather than just trying to force obedience.

Even small babes can learn to honor their parents by teaching them to use self-control. When our babes were very young and they were whining or screaming, but old enough to understand us, we would place them in a crib and say, "I am so sorry, but mommy (or Daddy) cannot listen to you while you scream or whine (or whatever). When you choose to talk to me in a normal voice, I will listen to you."

It was amazing how quickly our children learned to talk in quiet, gentle voices--even as young, crying babes.

But for a child to learn honor, a parent must display honor. The way we speak to each other and to our children should be with pleasant, loving words and voices. When we expect them to learn civility and honor, we have to exhibit it ourselves in the way we treat other people. (generally speaking, of course --we all raise our voices or become angry or frustrated on occasion.)  And even if we do become angry or raise our voices, we should always apologize if we expect our children to apologize. We must exhibit the same behavior we are expecting of them.

How can we train our children to act respectfully if we do not behave in a civilized, gentle, respectful way?

But then there is the second part of the way: obeying our parents with a respectful attitude.

Though this is a big area, and I cannot possibly address it all in one small article, the process of teaching a child the pattern of obeying is a long term pathway of learning obedience, little by little.

Teaching children to obey is essential to their character and moral strength, but it is a process. The beginning of learning obedience is to learn a value like this one--We honor and obey our parents with a respectful attitude.

So many parents do not teach basic expectations but merely react to their children in frustration--without having ever laid down the training of expectations of what is to be obeyed.

This merely frustrates parent and child as it is difficult for a child to learn to obey if they have never been told what is expected of them--any more than I could expect to please an employer if I did not clearly understand what was expected.

Training little by little is the key to having long term obedience and honor.

Since Clay and I believe that parenting is an organic process, considering the personalities of children, the sex and age of children and the ways to reach the children's hearts, we do not give specific advice but wisdom principles to follow.

Consequently, the first place to start is in giving our children a pattern of what to expect by being with them all the time when they are little so that we can speak to their little hearts, needs, shaping their values and understanding of behavior by directing it.

The children whose parents are most engaged and involved when their children are little are, generally speaking, the ones whose children are easier to train, as the children have learned to expect attention and love and training.

And so we teach them this way, teach them the memory verse and use this way and verse as a way of correction:

What is our way about obedience? What do you need to do in order to obey mommy now?

And so that I do not write a whole book tonight, I will leave you with this thought:

How are you modeling honor and obedience to God in  your home, by your attitudes, actions and obedience--so that your children will have a true picture to follow?

 

The Gift of a Quiet Day

The scene outside my kitchen sink.

Sequestered in my home with "blizzard warnings" buzzing on our phones, winds blowing, snow drifting, most of Monument is indoors today to avoid the storm. An unexpected gift from the Lord where all of us at home have gathered around in holiday spirit to enjoy the haven God has granted.

Freshly milled whole-wheat, pecan, apple pancakes with bacon was breakfast served at 11:00, accompanied by rousing discussion and sharing of ideas with Sarah and Joel, Clay and me. What grace to hear the hearts alive and passionate and idealist on a day when we all expected to be busy in other places.

View from my living room window

 In my quiet living room, listening to my Pandora channel to Alexander Desplat and .......

Reading and lots of tea and coffee will be next for me--A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle and The Long Legged House by Wendell Berry will be with me on my couch in front of the fireplace.

Praying for Joy at the nationals speech tournament in Arkansas as she gives her persuasive and learns more how to defend her ideas--and that her adventure with co-speakers would be blessed with delight and friendship.

Praying for Nathan, that God would protect him in Hollywood and lead him to other believers and bless his project.

Praying for Sarah as she grasps for high ideals and goals and the impossible that God will have to provide along the way.

Praying for Joel as he pursues his music and crafts new pieces for Easter and strains to make a living at his art, and preparing for the next step.

Asking God to bless dear Clay as he is so filled with wisdom come from living long in thought and presence of God and how we may serve Him best our autumn season, filled with years of seeing Him better and knowing his faithfulness through it all.

 

Homemade oatmeal-wheat-honey bread is rising in the kitchen which will be served with fresh potato kale soup, giving by a friend, who is an angel in disguise as a human.

Afternoon movie will be shared somewhere along the way with tea and cookies--like a holiday unexpected.

Stop! Can be such an unexpected gift when Hurry has been the mode.

May your Saturday be blessed wherever you find yourself.

Used Blog 3/17/2021 These Are a Few of My Favorite Things ...and keeping a civilized life

"Do you just drink tea and light candles all the time every day? When do you get work accomplished and what do you do with the rest of your time?" was the question of someone who had read a few of my posts but didn't know much about me.

I am 59, almost 60, and I have never been busier in my life.  I am a cook by ideals, personality and taste and so I cook most nights, still have 2-4 adult children living at home or coming in and out, am married to a visionary husband who has an endless list of ideals and books and projects he wants us to accomplish in the next 10 years. Every day people make messes around here and bills have to be paid and blogs written, speaking trips, talking to each child or writing them every day and friends and Bible studies and holidays, and new books each year and mentoring. And the list goes on and on--just like yours does.

Why wouldn't I want to light candles and listen to music and try to have some moment in my day that seemed quiet and peaceful?

When I was in my mid-40's, I suddenly realized that a wise woman keeps her own soul alive as no one else was looking out for my soul but me. This is a long-distance race and doesn't slow down so far as I can see, so it must be run with wisdom. Sabbath rest for my emotions, my body, my soul--my everything, is necessary for me to last well.

Unfortunately for me it means, not leaving comments on my own blog with women whose stories and comments I love to read--because I would have to sacrifice my personal time at home if I did. It means not answering important messages on facebook and letting many emails go--as no one, especially me,  can keep up with thousands and thousands of messages a year  and keep a balanced life and still have a quiet time and walk daily for my health and look my children and husband in the face and listen to them and not go crazy from always being busy--I had to cut somewhere. And I rarely answer my phone, no matter who or how often,  unless it is my children or Clay.

Now, after a busy season I find my soul desperately needing to relax and rest and just be quiet without any new adrenalin-filled ideas or people needing me.

When I can, I sleep! Sleep keeps a body from getting ill and keeps it healthy.

I must take care of myself and intentionally  step back and enjoy a few favorite things-because in giving out the past months, I am empty and so I must fill myself back up so I will have more to give--it is an endless cycle of giving--filling up--giving--filling up, that must take place for life to flourish.

When I travel, especially if I'm to be alone, there are a few things I intentionally pack and bring along to help me feel at home, while away so often--a rose table covering or scarf  and vanilla candles; Yorkshire gold tea and a china tea cup (keeps it hotter!); my favorite flower-covered lap throw as I hate to be cold on planes or in a hotel room or anywhere; lots of music--celtic, soundtracks of Pride and Prejudice, Mrs. Potter, Ladies in Lavendar; Joshua Bales and of course my wonderful Joel's music and lots of indy artists.

When I get home I will take long walks in the mountains and enjoy more of the things I've drawn close at home--surroundings in the color blue and also rose;

sweet friends who love me and care about me-

-I need them so much with not so much family in my life--my children are some of those  best friends, and there are a few special buddies who love me no matter what;

great books and stories, Victoria magazine;

salad with lots of veggie's and avocado and walnuts or pecans and always onions;

chocolate--especially any chocolate with nuts; (dark chocolate salted almond) and especially Lindt--the dark one with the blue foil wrapper; if it isn't going to be with nuts.

a hot bath that covers my whole body--I love baths;

talking with Nate and Joy  to see how California and the other far places in the world are doing;

sitting around my dinner table or in the den talking and laughing every night with Clay, Sarah, and Joel--and of course, Kelsey, our beloved, neurotic golden retriever.

reading encouraging letters or emails from friends; Calling my loved ones for long talks,  to keep up, when I have planned it;

studying the Word and being with my precious Jesus and pondering Him! Reading soul stirring books and captivating novels.

I know it's time to surround myself with these things so I can be restored.

Comfort for me will be something of a rhythm. Scrambled Eggs with cheese, home made, whole grain bread, potato soup, French Food  and Mexican food and fresh food (love fruit and veggies).

Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies with pecans that Sarah makes ... (The secret to good cookies is to always whip the butter, vanilla, sugar and eggs by themselves for 5-10 minutes on high and then don't bake the cookies too long--they will cook a little more after they are out and on  a stone and they will dry out a little, and you don't want them tough!)

Of course there must be pots of strong tea. And good strong coffee. And some great English drama series or mysteries or dramas that we can be romantic or adventuresome with and enjoy the countryside and dream.

Some favorites that we have watched over the years  (we almost have them memorized!) are:

Pride and Prejudice (the new and the old 8 hour one!)

Sense and Sensibility

Persuasion

Emma

Larkrise to Candleford--so wonderful and new, but they are canceling it after its 4th season!

David Copperfield

Wives and Daughters

Victoria and Albert and Young Victoria

Mrs. Brown

Daniel Deronda

and more........

These are some books we've found which paint delightful pictures of life-giving homes ...

Brambly Hedge--delightful children's picture book series from England--more contemporary than Beatrix Potter and has the most inviting pictures of the inside of an English Home that is lived in by precious animals--lovely-- and worth buying second hand for your own library.

Pilgrim Inn--a favorite book from an old English author, Elizabeth Goudge, whose story is about the redemption of people in a home, and family after World War II-a book for adult readers or older teens. Also shows the mending of a marriage and grace that comes through acceptance. Makes the home come alive through a window into loving, giving grace, and living as a family. (All of Gouge's books.)

Wendall Berry books to harken me to ideals, community, real relationships, a technology free life and centering on what matters.

TV series on Net Flicks about history, mystery, great stories, drama, story--things that are fun for my soul.

I love Edith Schaeffer's books--The Hidden Art of Homemaking and What is a Family for instruction and stories about her own family and the life of using her home as a place of ministry and of course the story of L'Abri; a must-read for families to picture the hand of God at work in the life of people who live by faith--heart warming stories.

Also, I collect old Eloise Wilkin (an artist) books because her beautiful pictures of children in family, playing, doing chores, helping mommy and wonderful pictures of home are a great way to put pictures in your children’s minds of the importance of family and home. These are simple children’s picture books, and the first imprint I put on my children’s brains about family, home and Mommy!

Loved the melted cheese passages in Heidi, another must-read-aloud–a picture of salvation through a great story. It gives us a beautiful picture of creation. This author wrote purposefully, to give children literature to lead them to Christ. (We translated one of her stories into English for the first time in our book that we publish called The Gold Thread–the story was called The Rose Child and can be found through our website.)

Just David–also one of my favorite books in the world–such a picture of a child’s heart redeeming a whole village because of is wonderful integrity–we published this, too so you can find this through our website also!

The Little Princess–also a must read-aloud in our home–the meal she took on her porch was especially delightful!

I could go on and on about things that bring me pleasure, but these a few of my favorite things. And I will continue building into the treasure chest of these jewels so that my soul can stay healthy and strong, because a mature woman takes care of her own soul.

So I am off to rest and lie down in green pastures and let the Lord restore my soul while I give him a little practical help by pulling back and waiting till I am filled up again!

Even with Elijah, He touched him, fed him, let him sleep and then repeated it all over again.

So, use this weekend well and choose those things which will fill the drained places.

Peace, Selah

Used Blog 3/11/2021 Too Many Choices, Too Many Voices! Desperate chapter 11

Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe: Chapter 11 - All the Voices that Influence Us

Last night, around 6, I was sitting in a chair by my window up in my second story bedroom. Our home sits up on a hill that is about 7500 feet high, and we look out over tall Colorado pines with the mountains not too far in the distance. As I sat amidst the peace of my darkening room, I looked out on the horizon and across the sky, once again, the Lord had painted the most vibrant sky--luminous, "screaming pink"--(the color of shirts my mother used to love to buy for me!)--seemed to be dancing across the sky for those who would see it! Then fading into hues of orange and finally darkness. I was reminded again how present God is in all of our moments yet wondering how many people in my little town took the time to notice Him and His art. How many times He is there to speak, to comfort, to love, but we are too busy to notice or listen.

I was pondering some of the dilemmas of modern, Christian life---way too many choices and way too many voices. Choices scream at us and block out the simplicity of Christ and His love and His voice.

We live in a time of so many voices that represent so many choices--republican, democrat, independent; theologies--charismatic, reformed, catholic, baptist, emergent church, Bible church; public, private and homeschool; whole book, curriculum, or classical; movies or tv acceptable to watch, those that violate our conscience; dating or courtship; what music is acceptable; universalism or  limited atonement; whole foods or MacDonalds,  soccer or piano lessons; t.v. or no media at all; infiltrate culture or draw back and seclude, spanking or grace-based parenting; and on and on and on.

And then there is the busy-ness associated with getting it all right and reading all the blogs and books and reviews and making all the choices--looking for the right formula, seeking the most profound expert, frenetic that we might make the wrong choice--yet confused in the midst. There is such a pressure to be involved in all that is relevant and the pressures of our modern Christian culture cultivates insecurity and fear and isolation.

Lots of head focus, not so much heart.

So much wrangling over words and so much judgment and pride and finger pointing--what is the right way to believe? So many who are involved in these issues have a heart that desires to find what is best and to do what is right. Who is the right authority?

Such choice overload obscures the simplicity and presence of God.

Satan can use the frantic searching and frenzy to obscure what is essential--loving God and knowing Him. So many I talk to long to be close to Him, but find Him illusive. No wonder there exists so much shallowness in our culture--we are seeking so hard after the answers and to please others

and He wants us to seek Him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am orthodox in my beliefs and trust in Jesus for my salvation and am so very grateful for this. I have a strong foundation of ideals for my home and children.

But the older I get and the more countries I have seen and the more people I have worked with, the more I see that it is the heart--where love and faith and beauty and humility exist where the life of Christ flourishes.

It is in Him and His presence that I find peace that transcends "getting it all right."  I have learned that God is much bigger than I originally thought and that He understands and has compassion for many outside the comfort zone of my own ideals and beliefs and values and that I would be wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak and even slower to judge. His purposes and ways transcend time, history and cultures and I would be wise to focus on Him above all else.

I find rest when I ponder the One who took small children into His arms to bless them; who gently and lovingly washed the disciple's feet, who threw the vibrant colors into the sky for me to enjoy last night. Jesus, came in simplicity--not a man of titles or authority--but the authority that comes from within.

I ponder His messages--admonishing us to give cups of cold water; taking care of our enemies as did the good Samaritan; parenting in such a way as to have the heart of the father looking every day for his prodigal son to return; encouraging us to be like the gentle, humble Mary who chose the "good part"--to sit at his feet and rest in his love and be filled with the life of His words--not being like Martha who was "worried about so many things."

It seems His priorities were for us to be anchored in character and deeds of goodness and kindness--the simplicity of being a good neighbor, giving grace and forgiving as we have been forgiven--making bridges of peace--not walls of separation.

Often, with the media and so many "experts"--(everyone is an expert if given the opportunity to blog!),

I see people laden down with the voices that seek attention in their heads--seems that with all the conflicting messages and so much media in our face, pleasing and finding God can be complicated, confusing and overwhelming and impersonal--more about knowledge than personal in an intimate relationship.

Wouldn't Satan just love for us to be confused and insecure--since God so clearly wants us to be secure and stable in the knowledge of His love, His calling and His grace.

Jesus had great scorn and condemnation for the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and lay them on men's shoulders," --those who were so dedicated to defining every jot and tittle of the law.Just this morning, I was reading in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel."

Then I read in John 14 and 15, some of the last chapters recorded of Jesus's personal messages to his disciples. His desire and heart to comfort and encourage his precious disciples is so evident throughout these chapters.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled or let it be fearful."

He comes not to give as the world gives to us--but peace--restful, filling, assuring peace--that keeps us from being troubled or fearful.

The God who told us the most important commandments were to love Him and love others, is the gentle shepherd who will not judge us today if we get all the answers and choices right, but if we abide in Him, love Him, rest in Him and walk in the abundance and security of His love for us and His redeeming love for those needy in our lives who need not just answers and words, but love, forgiveness, healing and peace.

Lord, let me today and every day, abide in you, see you, listen to your voice, follow your wisdom,  rest against you--"not being concerned with things too difficult for me, but composed, like a weaned child rests against his mother, so will my soul be within me." (Psalm 131)

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Head here to get your copy of Desperate!

"Mom, I Don't Think I Believe In God Anymore," and Other Mommy Nightmares

Some of the questions and doubts our children verbalize can bring great fear to our hearts. And yet as a mom of older children, I know that all children have such thoughts and handling them with peace, grace and wisdom (while praying fervently on your knees in private) will bring us to see God's grace as He leads our children. I'm so glad to have my dear, lives-right-around-the-corner friend Deb Weakly sharing with you today! I know you'll love her wise words. ~Sally

It's the stuff nightmares are made of.

"Mom, I don't see anything wrong with getting drunk if you are old enough."

"How do you know there is a God? He sure doesn't seem real to me!"

"How can God possibly be good when he killed all those people in the Bible?"

"If there is a God, why does Dad have cancer?"

"I don't think there is anything wrong with living together and not being married."

 And the list goes on and on...

What do we do when our kids come to us with their doubts, thoughts and questions?

Whatever you do, stay calm and don't blow a gasket!

Christian college chaplains have informed me before that it is a developmentally normal for teens and college-aged kids to wrestle with the questions of their faith. This is how they learn to own their own convictions--but it is a process of growth and may take some time!

I believe that I have even seen this in my own children. My daughter Christie went through a time when she was 16 years old and felt that God spoke to everyone else but not to her. She felt like her quiet times were lifeless and she never heard from God--ever. I remember just praying and praying for God to speak to her and for her to learn how to hear God's voice. She went through an internship the summer of her 16th year where the students and leader went through a Bible study that really clicked with her, and she finally learned how to hear God's voice for herself. And the rest is history. Christie loves God, hears from Him regularly and even writes a blog devoted to helping others understand God better. She has a depth in her soul that would not have been there had she not gone through her time of questioning.

From time to time, even young children can fuss about reading a Bible storybook.  They may even say things like “No Mommy, I don’t like Jesus!!” Our natural tendency when something like this happens is to worry and fret about the possibility of this particular child not growing up to love God. We have to remember--they are children! And children say things they don't mean or understand quite a lot of the time. When your children say things like this, just remind yourself ... children say silly things.

Older children say silly things, too! And sometimes they say scary things. What do we do? Stay calm, pray, and trust God. Whatever happens, "Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" Phillipians 1:27. Don't blow up or freak out!! Don't assume the worst of your kids. Remind your kids that God loves them. Tell them how awesome they are and how much you love their faith. Let your older kids know that their questions are okay because it shows that they are developing their own faith in God. Tell them how thankful you are that they come to you and trust you with their questions. Let them know that you believe in them and the God that is leading them.

I have been in situations where the parents of kids going through questioning times are praying about their child's lack of faith in a negative way--within earshot of their kids. Please, please, please never do that!  Don't ever let your kids think that you believe they are lost- especially your adult kids. God talks a lot in scripture about having faith. I believe we are to have faith in God and in our children. God will never let them go and wants none of them to perish.

Remember the Holy Spirit has access to our children's hearts and minds and will be speaking to them. He will work in ways that we never could ever dream of.

Being confident of this; that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Phillipians 1:6.

God is working. He will never let them go! Pray like crazy and believe in your kids and the plans God has for their life. Remind them often of things that you admire about their faith. If you can't think of anything, ask God. He will help you to know what to say to encourage your kids. Keep the lines of communication open and remember, if they don't come to you, they will most likely go to their friends or culture with their doubts. You want them to come to you and to know that you are always on their side and will always believe in them.

So hang in there, mama! And put the mommy nightmares to rest. You serve a big God, and He is in love with your children and will pursue them all their lives!

  Deb has a passion for discipleship and prayer that reaches around the world. She has led discipleship groups for the last 15 years- focusing on the art of the prayer-filled life as wife, mom and woman of God. Deb is a frequent speaker at women’s groups and has hosted International Leaders in her home with Momheart Ministries. Her favorite ways to spend her time include time with God in the morning on her favorite brown couch, with the fire burning, candles lit, hot tea and Bible in hand, while snuggling with her dog, Haylee; coffee time on Saturday mornings on that same couch with her husband of 22 years, Randy, and visiting with her kids, Christie(19), and Jack (16), while they sip hot tea and coffee. Deb hopes that her couch does not wear out any time soon.

Believe and Support your Children's Dreams! Get involved!

 

Confessions of a Prodigal Son  A New movie to draw families back together--at Home!

"Superman is who I want to be when I grow up! He saved the world from harm and danger! That is what I am going to do!"

And so Nathan dreamed of being a redeemer, a hero, helping and saving those in his own generation.

He has prayed, worked, loved, reached out and been faithful. And so naturally I want to see his faith in God's ability to work come to life through others who believe in the dreams of our children who are willing to take a risk to influence their world for Christ.

"Mom, there are so many lost kids in my generation. They need compassion, they need someone to lead them back home."

The trailer for Confessions of a Prodigal Son

"There are so many who are lost and scarred even just here in Los Angeles, let alone in the rest of the world. I want to write a screen play that will reach thousands of prodigals and their families to give them hope and to find a way back to their families."

And so, Nathan is, by faith following his dreams--and I want to be the cheerleader behind him as he steps out.

Please, will you consider supporting Nathan's work and dream?

Many of you have already joined the team. He is so excited and appreciative of your coming aboard and can't believe that he has raised half in 30 days. If he raises the other support in the next 25 days, producers will get behind this movie and it will become a reality. If he does not reach his goal, all the money will not be charged and will go back to those who joined the team, but the project will come to a standstill. This is the way of kick start for the arts.

Go here for more information on Kick Start!

$5, $10, $25, $50, or $10,000 adds up to reach his goal!:)  Everything helps!

BUT HE NEEDS THE SUPPORT OF OTHER CHRISTIANS WHO WANT TO SEE A CHANGE IN THE KINDS OF MOVIES THAT ARE BEING PRODUCED!

It is common in the arts to bring a group of people together in support of a project so that larger film companies will pick up on a project and make it come to life. Many people that Nathan has been reaching out to in Hollywood have read Nathan's script and have gotten excited about the project, but they want to see Nathan raise his initial artists Kick Starter fully funded in order to see if there is really interest and commitment to a movie like this to be produced in Hollywood. His agent, a producer and a number of influential people are meeting to see if they can bring this project to life--won't you please pray about supporting this great movie?

You can support the film a dollar to several thousand dollars, but mostly movies are funded by many people giving a little bit. And you can also see the gifts that are being given away to those who are willing to commit to this project.

Kick Starter for Confessions of a Prodigal Son and all the information can be found

HERE.

WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER SUPPORTING NATHAN'S PROJECT:

1. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CHILDREN GET INVOLVED AND SUPPORT AND PRAY FOR THIS MOVIE AND THEN SHOW IT TO THEM WHEN IT COMES OUT--AND THEN THEY CAN FEEL LIKE THEY WERE ABLE TO BE A PART OF A REAL LIVE STORY OF SOMEONE WHO STEPPED OUT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THEIR WORLD,  AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE INSPIRED TO FOLLOW THEIR DREAMS!

2. OUR FAMILY WENT TO A MOVIE OVER THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER AND I WAS GREATLY DISAPPOINTED AND DISMAYED AT THE MOVIES THAT WERE BEING ADVERTISED--ESPECIALLY THE ONES FOR CHILDREN. THEY WERE FULL OF VIOLENCE, DARKNESS, EVIL AND SCARY THEMES. 

IF YOU HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED, THEN YOU CAN BE A PART OF SUPPORTING CHRISTIANS IN MOVIES THAT WILL HAVE POSITIVE, LIFE-GIVING THEMES THAT BRING HOPE AND RESTORE FAMILIES--SOMETHING YOU CAN BE PROUD OF!

3. BECAUSE YOU WILL BE PART OF GOD'S ANSWERS TO NATHAN'S PRAYERS! :) HE IS PRAYING EVERY DAY FOR GOD TO PROVIDE PEOPLE WHO WILL MAKE THIS MOVIE COME TO LIFE.

IF EVEN A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE MOMS WHO READ THIS BLOG EVERY DAY GAVE AS MUCH AS A COUPLE OF COFFEES WOULD COST THEM, NATHAN WOULD HAVE FULL FUNDING in one day! IT IS THE FAITHFUL FEW WHO ARE THE ONES WHO END UP BRINGING CHANGE TO THE WORLD. 

WON'T YOU PLEASE SHARE THIS POST ON FACEBOOK AND WITH YOUR FRIENDS? I WOULD SO APPRECIATE IT!

Nathan wrote a book while he was attending the New York Film Academy a few years ago, about how God spoke to him to chase after Him instead of the world's voice and to become a wisdom chaser. It is a wonderful book to read aloud and to discuss about the right choices.

Nathan is donating all of the money he receives from those who buy his book to the film project.

You can also support the film by ordering his book, here.

I am praying that he will see this part of his dream come to reality through wonderful mamas like you who understand how important it is to support our children's dreams of being used by God in this world in their lifetime.

And thanks from the bottom of my heart for supporting this spiritually meaningful film. I can't wait to see it come to reality.

Nathan, my very own superman! :) Abundant blessings, my Nate!

When you give, you also have the opportunity for this fun opportunity!

• Pledge $10 or more

  17 backers

  You will get a special mention on the movie website, and the knowledge that you helped a truly moving story come to life

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $25 or more

  10 backers

  All of the above. As well as a call from your choice of one of our lead actors thanking you wholeheartedly for your support!

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $50 or more

  11 backers

  All of the above. Including a signed movie poster (from the stars of the film) for you to put above your mantle reminding you and you future generations, that you helped a truly worthy project come to life!

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

  Ships within the US only

• Pledge $100 or more

  5 backers

  All of the above. Including a your own DVD of the final film to play on repeat in your home.

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

  Ships within the US only

• Pledge $250 or more

  1 backer

  All of the above. Including, a special place on the website where you picture will be featured as one of our VIP supporters.

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $500 or more

  2 backers

  All of the above. Plus you will have a chance to be an extra in the movie (flights not included) Immortalizing you self, on the silver screen!

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $1,000 or more

  1 backer Limited (4 of 5 left)

  All of the above, PLUS, you (or someone of your choice) will have the chance to actually have a role in the movie with real lines, and will be put on IMDB as an actor in the movie.

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $3,000 or more

  0 backers Limited (2 of 2 left)

  All of the above. Puls you will receive a producers credit on IMDB and in the credits of the movie. (Great thing to put on a resume!)

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $5,000 or more

  0 backers Limited (2 of 2 left)

  All of the above. PLUS, Nathan Clarkson the star/writer/producer of the film will do a personal screening for you and your group (church, school, etc...) Complete with a film Q&A session.

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

• Pledge $10,000 or more

  0 backers Limited (2 of 2 left)

  All of the above. Plus you will be treated to lunch with the stars and the producers of the film to a restaurant (in the Los Angeles area) and receive and invitation to the movie premier in Hollywood! As well as our lifetime debt of gratitude!

  Estimated delivery: Aug 2013

Way 2 Mama, Every Day I Heard God's Voice and It Sounded a Lot Like Yours

Mary Cassatt

Way #2 We read the Bible every day and pray to God with an open heart. 

Memory Verse

"All scripture is inspired by God, and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction  in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

II Tim 3: 16-17

Recently, Nathan was talking about his year in New York City when he attended the New York Film Academy. He lived in an apartment in Harlem with two other young men.

"Every day, I would hear God speaking to me through so many scriptures that we had talked about and memorized. They just kept going through my head at different times and always when I needed them. And you know what, Mom? The voice sounded a lot like your voice and I knew I needed to heed the words, because I couldn't imagine breaking your heart! And those words became the prayers of my own heart amidst all the moments of my life in New York, because I knew God would be with me and speak to me and show me wisdom."

When Sarah was giving her talk at the conferences this year, I didn't know what she was going to say, as she is an adult and prepares her own talks. She shared a story that heartened me. Her memory of waking up early in the mornings was  finding me sitting in an overstuffed chair in the living room or a smaller one in my bedroom, reading my Bible.

"I knew her diligence and devotion was what shaped her life and it always made me expect that I could learn and hear from God in my own life,"

Sarah shared as she talked of what personal integrity looked like in reality.

I hardly need to say I was not a perfect mama, and like all mamas, some seasons I was faithful to this standard as it was a habit I had developed and committed to early in my life before I became a mama. And some seasons I just barely made it through with the crises of life coming my way. I found that reading God's word and praying was essential to my ability to keep taking one more step in the direction of my own ideals--the fuel for my strength when life was exhausting. It is a habit I want to help others learn how to develop.

But in a time when there are so many formulas and voices of advice and people are busier than ever, I wanted to write an article that clearly stated--raising godly children is an issue of spending time with them with God on a regular basis. God and His word are what shape hearts and reading the word of God together gives the Holy Spirit a vocabulary in which to speak to our children when we are not there. 

I didn't really know that my kids were paying attention-- I mean, really taking to heart what I was saying and teaching.  Really, it felt so good inside my heart, to know that my own obedience and work at keeping my heart and mind on scripture left a significant mark in the lives of my children.

Most of the time they just looked like normal, sweet kids; squirming, wiggling, chattering, fussing, and being children.

The Need

More voices and messages invade the sound waves of our brains every day than ever before. Living in a melting pot of cultures now where all religions and values and morals drift together in and through the media; where all varieties of moral behavior are validated and find acceptance; where television and film and the internet smudge the clear borders of truth every day, and even promote violent behavior and dark themes--even in cartoons; the call to teach children has never been more important or profoundly necessary.

We must not underestimate the draw or pull these voices will have in our children's lives as they become young adults and begin to make decisions that will determine the outcome of their whole lives.

A real, true, loving, living God is the voice they must hear of--not just platitudes of moral rules--that is not enough to fool any young adult who is looking for love and wants to be liked.

Only real wisdom and scripture will do.

Building Foundations that Cannot be Moved 

We build the foundational belief system and understanding of truth and God's nature and ways, in our children's minds, one day at a time, one brick at a time. For our children to have a strong house of truth invading and speaking to their invisible thoughts, their minds must already be filled with thousands of teachings of scripture so that their brains will have a "go to" place when they are making decisions about their lives.

As so many women have heard from me over the years, "In the absence of Biblical conviction, (when a person does not have a strongly held belief that has informed his commitments), then this person will indeed go the way of culture."

In other words, if a child has not been taught and trained and instructed in the wisdom of God's word and learned to pray to become familiar with His voice, then, the child will grow up to listen to the voices he has invested in the most, and the voices that will appear to make him happy.

A heart that is filled with and informed by Biblical convictions, does not just happen. It shaped intentionally over many years, day by day, circumstance by circumstance and repeated and lived thousands of times.

Advertisers never give up on loudly proclaiming their voices as they sell whatever is most profitable, and so we have to be even more vigilant to keep the voices of God's reason and wisdom going and shaping the minds of our children so that they can be strong in their generation and live to be great thinkers, communicators and shapers of culture in their generation.

It all starts with a mom who is willing to train and disciple her children and to pay the price of commitment, time, and winsomeness and preparation over many years of time.

And, God is waiting to bless us with His peace, love, wisdom, strength and comfort when we make time to go to Him. And our children will need the same from Him in their lifetime--but they will have a pattern of what that looks like because they will have learned it from our home.

And so, we read the Bible ever day in our home and pray with an open heart, and now our children do the same, because it was the very life and inspiration they breathed into their hearts day in and day out.

Do not be hard on yourself, mama. Just start out with 5-10 minutes--that becomes a habit worth following.

“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." 

Deut. 6:4-9

Purchase here!

Used blog 3/4/2021 Personality and Relationships: The Key to Opening Hearts

While sipping tea and savoring a creme brulee, catching up on life and vacationing away from everyone this week, Sarah spoke aloud about the culture of our family.

"Each of us is so different and so complicated in the ways we are motivated in our lives, and yet, somehow, you made us feel that who we were was exactly the person God made us to be to live out our calling and story in this world. Personal affirmation is so very important to one's ability to believe that God will use them to change the world."

How interesting to hear the various memories and comments our children have made as they have reflected on our lives this year, after so much interaction with other moms who questioned them and wanted to know "what it was really like in our home," during the mom conferences.

Seeing the reflection of what is in their hearts could be threatening, but thankfully, they mostly have good memories and warm feelings about how they remember the community of Clarkson clan. I always feared they would remember my mistakes and vulnerable areas, but mostly they remember the love and closeness we all celebrated as the oxygen in our lives that covered over the mountains and valleys of our lives. Somehow, their love covered a multitude of sin.

Focussing on Relationship

Ministry of Motherhood was the book I wrote after studying the life of Christ in relationship to His disciples and I was right in the midst of my children's growing up years. As I pondered Jesus: He loved them, spoke to them, spent morning, noon and night in fellowship with them. He served them by feeding them, by healing their relatives; He modeled to them what true Christianity would be by touching children and giving them His time and blessing them; touching lepers; giving women both moral and immoral His time and affirmation--He showed us how to live through His relationships with the people in his life. In reading scripture it's very obvious that He had a love for them, a compassion for them--not a list of rules on how to be sure you are acting righteously. These the Pharisees provided, not Jesus.

I am so grateful for all I have learned about motherhood from my study of Jesus. I sought to emulate Christ to our children.

He called Peter the rock--You are the man, Peter!

Thomas, a man in whom there was no guile--the just one, perhaps a lawyer personality.

John, the one Jesus loved. Definitely a feeler on Myers Briggs.

Each followed Him, but each had a different personal grid through which they learned to hear His voice and messages.

Even as Jesus treated His disciples differently, understanding the unique personalities God gave to my children, though, was a necessary foundation for reaching their hearts with the reality of Him whom I loved. Their God-given personalities provided the grid through which they would understand truth. To ignore the way they were uniquely made would be to seek to bring light through a lamp that was not plugged in.

Children, beautiful yet unique as snowflakes are always individual--no two alike!

What are some of the personalities and the issues that must be considered? Extroverts need to talk more, have more activities and people in their lives; introverts need more time alone to ponder, create, go into their inner vortex. Some have a larger capacity to work hard, others are more immature and need the grace of time allowed for growth. Some are relational and inspiring and have to talk a lot. Others are ponders and may feel pushed to have to be social.

God has given boys testosterone so that they may defend us--it automatically means they will have a tendency to be louder, more active, well, more boy. A boy should not be disciplined for being "boy".

Some children just really want affirmation and hugs and listening in order to "feel" loved. Others want you to do something with them--to play, to run, to go. Others want sympathy--and to have you understand. Still others, quality time. It differs with each child, just as each of Jesus's disciples were different and related to him differently, according to their values each uniquely held, because of background and personality.

We are to accept and cooperate with our children's God-given personalities because God has a work for them to do in this world according to His design for their lives. As their gifts, so will their calling be. It also means that if we want to be God's instrument to open their hearts, we have to study who they are and reach them according to the personal design of their heart.

And what I have found is that in ministering to my children and learning how to be a great "psychologist," I have also become more astute in ministering to the needs of others, because I have become better at observing needs and personalities.

Children and adults are not cookie-cutter copies of each other who can all be handled the same way--as a matter of fact, if we are handled as robots, we will rebel at impersonal ways of being treated. Human beings are complex and cannot be generalized into formulaic solutions, but long to be loved and valued as they have been made to be. 

Each child (and most adults, for that matter!) long for a mentor who "gets" them--knows and understands them and can reach their heart's passions and dreams. This is part of why the reality of our relationship with God as a real Person who can be known and interacted with, Who has feelings and plans and is so much more than words on a page, is so wonderful.

It does require faith to live in intimacy with the living God. He is wild and wise and loving, and deeply desirous of our personal, passionate love--not our robotic keeping of rules. And so, we must live in the tension of loving the unique design that our Artist creator crafted into the DNA of our children and learning how to build a bridge of our love to their heart, so that we can open up their ability to listen to the messages we live and speak. We are invited into a relationship with the living God, which is a pattern for how we live with our children.

And in reaching out to them as friends and real people with dreams, values, desires, insecurities and passions, we truly open them up to the very God who crafted them that way for His glory.

An Ode to Tired Mamas Revisited: Desperate Chapter 9

 

There once was a sweet mom with children, Who worked day and night just to serve them, She cleaned and she cooked and she taught and she booked, Till she died of exhaustion and left them.

Ok, ok--it's not great poetry, but I did think there should be a short dedication to all the moms who have given and given and given, with nary a one to appreciate them!

I got tickled a while ago. I had written the blog about taking Nathan to dedicate him to the Lord after taking him out to lunch and a hike, and then the little story about taking Joy out for her 13th birthday. A sweet mom who read the blog was probably sending a comment to a friend … but accidentally pushed the reply button and sent her email to me which said, "She makes me tired!" (I have done this before, too, much to my horror--meaning to send a comment to Clay and instead sending it to the person who wrote it! Grace and peace--don't worry!)

We all compare ourselves to others too often and we all come up short on someone's scale. When you compare yourself, it leads only to pride and causes you to criticize others, or you will have envy and think, wrongly, that others are better than you and wish that your life was different. Comparing never accomplishes anything positive in the long run--and thank goodness, God does not judge us by someone else's arbitrary standard. (Though we do have so many voices in our heads telling us otherwise.)

But, I do think this task of "ideal" mothering is such a tiring calling and we all put ourselves under so much pressure to be perfect when we have too many sinful children, no support systems, no breaks, no full time maids, and they all want  to eat and wear reasonably clean clothes every day !  And we are responsible for their character, manners, education and spiritual outcome, sense of well-being and happiness! A lot to ask.

If there is one area of family life that takes the breath out of me, it is housework.

The relentlessness of housework is probably my biggest source of stress. I was never taught how to keep house or how to cook or wash clothes or how to organize, or or or.

The work just happened in my home (and my mom did have outside help!) But I just never took notice.

Clay is naturally organized and is much better at organizing the house than I would ever be. I am great at decorating and building ambiance and loving, but all the things that have to be organized and the details of the fridge, the wash, the bills and the toys and the papers--well, you get the picture--these are just too much for me.

But God gave me my personality and He knows my limitations and isn't biting His nails to see if I am going to be perfect at the task. 

Knowing that He knows my limitations takes a little pressure off. A perfect house, a Martha Stewart standard is not what is expected.

As Joel, my son, once well said when I was in a tizzy over the messy house. "Mom, we will clean the house and it will just get messy again. But when you are sad, we feel guilty, like we have done something wrong. But when you are happy, we feel happy and like we are the greatest family in the world.

So, Mom, lighten up and we will all be ok!"

We moms are giving out at a much faster rate than we are taking in and so depletion and exhaustion are normal.

Add to that, the fact that most of us were never trained. I love the verse in Proverbs that says, "Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean." I have at least six oxen in my stalls all the time, so my stall is always in different degrees of clean-ness!

So, I will give just a few tips that have helped me. I have learned that my capacity to keep everything going and to create a home that is orderly is much more than I thought. I have learned to work harder and to accomplish more than I ever thought possible. It is like exercising a muscle--eventually you do become stronger. Doing it for so many years over and over again has shown me that I have gotten stronger and more able to do a lot of work.

1. Copy other organized women. I am not natural at this, so I actively take notice of other's systems and articles that give me practical advice.

2. Have at least one time during the week when you do a basic cleaning. (Bathrooms, vacuum, dust, etc.)

3. Daily, put on up-tempo music and pick up the main areas (with your children all helping) for 15 minutes. It makes going into the evening a little easier if the messes are not all over.

4. When possible, simplify--fruit and homemade bread and cheese or nuts for dinner. Simpler and fewer clothes. Boxes or drawers or bags for everything to go back into at nights, routines daily that teach and give expectation to the kids and you what needs to be accomplished as an anchor to the life of the home.

Another essential is to always make sure your children are involved in all of the tasks, starting when they are little. (I started all of my children around 3 to put the silverware in the silverware basket. It helped them to learn sorting and they actually liked it! This is to give them a self-image or sense of it being a "part of their lives" to help and work hard. My kids have learned to do a lot of work, learning one task at a time, and practicing it over and over again. We had a "team" effect in our house--we are all in this together sort of community--it was an expectation and so we didn't have to talk about it daily.

I just want to affirm all of you who are hard on yourselves and want to give up---

You are making a difference in this world! Your work is eternal and extremely important! Your little ones don't know if you are good or efficient at housework, they just want to enjoy that place they live and have a happy mama. 

Don't give up-- ever, ever, ever!

But ...

take a break!--schedule it in--every day, for a one-woman cup of tea or coffee and tell yourself, you are good, you are valued, you are precious and you matter a whole lot! Live only in grace and not overwhelmed-ness--even 15 minutes a day of a self-pep-talk and peace can make the whole day work better. (I see the pep talk as taking every thought captive to the truth about you--He loves you and is with you.) A little mama break is as important as getting all the rest done--because you can do it all with a lighter heart and maybe even exercise joy!

Blessings and blessings, oh dear fellow mama civilizer!

What is your most difficult task in housework? What gets you down the most? How can you make a plan to lessen this stress?

An Invitation to Join Our SOBeR Club!

A couple of years ago, Joy had Sarah and me in stitches one afternoon when we picked her up after a morning spent working at our local MOPS group. She had just been assigned to the two-year-olds, a more challenging group than those she'd worked with previously.There were stories about all sorts of body fluids--specifically one little boy whose mom said he was being potty trained and who had been sent with no diapers--only underwear--and eventually cried, sobbed, screamed twice when he had accidents, and soused his clothes again and again, with Joy to clean it up. Joy was wondering if this was what most moms called "potty training." There were other stories about nose junk, bottom junk. sucking junk; kids sneezing on her, hitting each other, hitting her, screaming--and by the time we picked her up, she was exhausted!

"Did you go through all of this with us?" she asked, incredulous. "How did you make it???"

Told her I'm not really sure how I made it, but somehow muddled through. Also advised her just to be sure not to have ten two-year olds at once!

Life as a woman, mom, and wife can sometimes be gross, stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, boring and demanding on many levels. Sometimes moms feel guilty admitting the variety of feelings they have. Feelings are neutral--they neither define who we are or take away from our righteousness. They are just a reaction to the situation we are in.

I remember so many years when I just obeyed what I was supposed to do without feeling like doing it. Because I loved my children, I made decisions to cultivate what was best for them. Because I was committed to loving Clay (and God) I acted, as a choice of my will, in the best interest of Clay, by faith, not by feelings. As I look back, I am so glad that I learned to put one foot in front of the other, because usually my feelings would follow. I am grateful the Lord kept me going in the right direction by the convictions I held and followed. If I had followed all of my feelings, the results would have been disastrous.

But there are just times in life or parenting or mothering or marriage that seem overwhelming and too depleting to handle. A few years ago, Clay and I decided that when we got to this point, we needed to call a SOBeR Club meeting. It stands for:

Sick

Of

Being

Responsible

SOBeR-Sick Of Being Responsible

There are times that we all just have to take a break! On our sober club nights, we always do something that we want to do that is just for us--sometimes we even ask friends to join us--go to dinner, a movie, a walk in the mountains, take a drive to see the city lights--music blaring, windows down--just cruising and trying to relax. We do something different--go away from the stress, from the kids. We do not talk about any of the problems or money or stress or ministry. We just relax, have fun, get away and lighten up.

With friends or my girls, SOBeR Club nights can include going to some fun cafe, buying something little or fun that I enjoy. Joy prepared a small package with a Warm Vanilla Sugar candle, lotion and perfume for me this week on the day of our meeting! Sarah bought me a piece of dark chocolate with almonds and suggested going somewhere for a massage, by stealing a few dollars from our little drawer where we put away dollar bills each month to have on "rainy"  days.

The principle is similar to that of the Sabbath. Get away from the responsibilities. Go to a park when your kids are driving you nuts. Stop having school and go do something fun. Take a nap. Watch a movie instead of doing one more chore, buy some flowers when it is snowing for ten days straight--just shake things up a little. Life is still there tomorrow after the SOBeR club meeting, and after we've all blown off a little steam, we can then can face the responsibilities with a little bit fresher outlook.

SOBeR club met today after the flurry of the conferences. Tomorrow I will get back to responsibility--but tonight I am just going to go to sleep and snuggle up in my covers.

...

 If you could use a little encouragement  and even some practical help in motherhood, you might just like Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. Find it here!