Need a maid? And Aslan is on the move in Sarah's Life: Wheaton, Oxford, Scotland? hmmm

My Sweet Sarah in Oxford amongst all of the books.

Dreaming out-loud with our children from the time they were tiny was something we practiced regularly as parents. We would say,

"God is such an artist and He has made you with a very special personality, skills, interests, with your own story. I can't wait to see how He will use you to change your world. You are so very special."

And yet, we had no idea of how our children would take to our training, our words, encouragement and love. God is so good to take our fish and loaves and make them into a miracle.

Watching the seeds grow, the seeds that we had so faithfully planted in the lives of our children, has been one of the most exciting and fulfilling accomplishments of our lives.

Recently, Sarah's life has been greatly in bloom.

From the first moment of Sarah's birth, I adored her. At 31, I was so happy to finally be able to hold my sweet little one and it seems from the very first, we were kindred spirits. We always have been.

One thing that marked Sarah from the time she was small was her love for words, her penchant to read, her hunger to learn, her love of writing. She is a natural student, but when she graduated from high school at 16, she was offered a book contract by a Christian publisher. She wrote and published her first book, and set her on a path of writing, travel with us in the ministry, and a time of adventuring all over the world.

I love how our hearts and souls have been shaped together in the past years. Books shared, cups of tea, friends known, international travel; I literally could not have made it through these years without her friendship and companionship. We are kindred spirits through and through. She is a delightful friend of my soul.

But she has always been an academic at heart. Along the way, a publisher heard her speak on literature and children's authors and immediately gave her a contract for a guide to children's literature. She continued to travel and speak, to master the art of writing, and always, she continued to read. Her ability to weave words into heart-touching beauty is truly a gift.

Last year, one of her dreams finally came true. She was able to be a student in Oxford for a semester, and she came alive in a culture where others read and thought and discussed ideas with a relish equal to her own. When she returned, she had a new dream and a strong determination in her soul.

With fortitude, she began to look for the best way to finish her undergraduate degree. Now, she is beginning that path, as you will see below. And I know she hopes to continue on to a Masters degree, and maybe even a Ph.D if that is the story and road God takes her on.

As a mom, I can see how perfectly God has worked to bring her to this point. I am so very happy for her to be able to pursue more of her dreams, so glad that she will be able to encourage and influence even more people with the life-changing writing and ideas God has begun to develop in her life.

So I thought you might want to hear from her own heart just what is happening. I know so many of you have heard Sarah speak over the years, so I wanted to share with you what is unfolding in this "new era" of her life. I will miss my kindred spirit-traveling companion, but love seeing the doors of her life opening wide with opportunity. Here is what Sarah shared yesterday on her blog: Thoroughlyalive.com:

My New Era

“How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.” -Henry David Thoreau

New eras begin with new ideas, as Thoreau well knew. He spent a lifetime writing the kinds of books that might arrest a man mid-step, shake him to the core of his soul and set a new road at his feet. Sometimes, you can read something so powerful, so exactly sating to the hunger or hope of your particular soul that it sets a new path at your feet and changes the course of your journey. Thoreau knew it and these days, so do I.

Friends, I’m about to start a new era. The time has come and the choice is made. At 29 years of age, I’m finally heading off to college. I’ve been accepted to Wheaton College (near Chicago) and I’ll begin my studies in English and Philosophy this fall. Wish me grace as I go?

The book that prompted this change? Well, it wasn’t really just one. I suppose you could say it was the Bodleian itself and every stack of books I ordered for every essay and all the old libraries in Oxford that instigated this decision. But the books that really sparked it all were the ones I read through my C.S. Lewis tutorial, books that explored the “truth-bearing faculty” of imagination (as Malcolm Guite says). When I read Lewis’ Surprised by Joy one rainy day, and understood that we may know what is Real through observation and reason, but also and equally through imagination and experience, through a beauty that speaks in a “language without words,” I sat up straight in my library chair and knew that heightened air of a newborn era.

You see, I’ve spent most of my life trying to understand the truth that came to me through imagination. In the stories I have read, the music I have heard, through the hours I have spent in creation, I have known something true about God that has been the foundation of my faith. Beauty has spoken to me of spiritual reality since childhood, and I knew it was truth even though the knowing came through a language without words. The stories I read deeply shaped my interior world, widening my capacity to enter the story of God. But I never felt quite able to argue for the power of the imagination as equal to that of logic and reason.

As I studied in Oxford, I finally began to realize that in Western culture, we generally place the highest value on what we know through Reason, on the truths that are quantifiable, easily counted and observed. We tend to denigrate the knowledge of imagination and experience because it is something received, a presence that is subjective, interior, known only from within. Because of this, we think of beauty and the arts as peripheral to the spiritual, a by-product of holiness, rather than something that powerfully communicates it to us. But Lewis explained to me that this is a lop-sided view. Language is simply another set of symbols pointing back, along with imagination and creation, to what is ultimately Real.

Read the rest of her story here and be sure to cast dreams in the heart of your children!

And don't forget! Today is the last day to enter the giveaway!

If you have been wanting to start a book club or group in your church using Desperate, now would be a great time to get the books! If you buy five *paperback* copies of Desperate this week (through Friday) you can get the Desperate DVD for FREE! And if you're one of the first 50 to purchase five books, you also get these lovely Redeemed - Everything Beautiful Earrings!

Go HERE (or your favorite store) to get the books! Then just take a picture or scan your receipt and send it to: desperatebook@thomasnelson.com

Giveaway!

Up for grabs are...

• Five copies of Desperate
• The Desperate DVD
• A Vintage Pearl "breathe" necklace
• A yummy Yankee candle (your choice of scent!), and...
• $100 towards a maid service!

To enter, just fill out the form below!

Also, here is a peek at what the videos are like:

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Education is a mandate, not a choice.

Renoir

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use  to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

Recently, I was in a meeting, observing some leaders who were making important decisions about urgent responsibilities that needed to be managed by some new employees of this organization. An elderly CEO, an advisor of the other leaders in the room said,

"The problem is, most younger college graduates who are applying for these positions are ill prepared to take on such responsibility.  They have not read broadly on many subjects or world view and so they have almost no perspective of historical issues. Because they are media dependent, they are subject to believing popular views espoused in media. Raised on television and entertained to death, with a constant appetite for movies, their opinions are shallow and reactionary. Thinking clearly and well and synthesizing ideas from reading profoundly and exposing themselves to great thinkers is clearly not even a part of their training or a part of their daily habit or routine. Add to that a lack of character training and an inability to work hard and long through difficult seasons of work, and you will find it almost impossible to find an excellent candidate who can handle such important responsibilities. "

Though, obviously, many do graduate from college with excellent abilities, this statement is generally true about many young college graduates. Educational tests have shown a constant drop in academic abilities.

I feel so strongly that we live in a more and more ignorant world of people who are easily led as sheep to slaughter because they follow others rather than think for themselves. Ignorance and mental weakness brings poverty of soul and ultimately of life. This is a dangerous description adults when there is no valued wisdom, experience, academic prowess and character. When the adults are lacking, it follows that the children will have no excellent food for thought upon which to train and feed their brains.

Scripture commands us to,

"Worship God with our minds." 

God has created human beings to have a great capacity to use their brains to understand, learn, study, comprehend, create, invent, debate. And so one of the stewardships we have as moms is to take responsibility for our children's minds. God will hold all of us accountable for how we were faithful to shape and train their minds for his glory. It is one of the equal ways we are commanded to worship God. It is a glory to God when we seek to fill and expand our brains to be superior in thinking skills.

It is also a glory of a woman to be disciplined in her ability to think well and to articulate ideas and truth well. It exalts God, even as Mary did when she gave her magnificat.

No matter what educational choice a family makes, it is still the parent's responsibility to be a steward of their children's minds.

Like a muscle that needs to be stretched and used over and over again to become strong, so our brains must be stretched and exercised to become mentally and academically strong.

We must teach our children how to think correctly about:

God, His attributes, His character, His word, so that they can have a true understanding and love for who God is.

Biblical morality, so that they can build their lives on true foundations for relationships, choices, foundations for living.

Wisdom, and understanding so that they can learn to stand strong on their own to resist the ways that culture calls to them.

Read to them and help them fall in love with reading and books so that they will have a big vocabulary, a large understanding of the world, be versed in knowing how to think about ideas, facts, religion, politics, languages and all facets of education.

The leaders of the world are most often those who are well educated to think well and clearly.

How important it is, then, that we as moms, take the time to become the best educated we can be. I am not referring to degrees from college. Degrees do not necessarily determine a person's ability to think, or to influence.

But we must be readers, students of the Word, interacting with wisdom, and learning how to reason and defend our faith and ideals, so that we will have the internal resources to build our children into world leaders.

So, throughout history, when women attend to the education of their own minds and souls, and that of their children, a country flourishes for having foundations of intelligence, wisdom and truth in every arena.

Hopefully, I can begin writing more about educational issues that will help encourage many of you as you seek to influence your children's minds. Having influence on my children's minds has been one of the most fulfilling tasks I have ever enjoyed. The fruit in their lives has catalyzed the growth in my own.

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A Heart of Gentleness

Modlacy Sie Starzec

 “Two men went up into the temple to pray,

one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 

The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself:

‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 

But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven,

but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’  

I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Where does a woman find the ability to be gentle, to show mercy and understanding and compassion?

When she understands that her heart is selfish, prone to making bad choices, and she understands that she herself is fragile, then she will extend the grace she wishes to others she loves.

If a mama understands that her children, like her, are going to make mistakes, have accidents, show the dark heart of sin, she will not condemn them harshly for being so. Instead, from a heart that knows she does not deserve the grace and love of Jesus, but receives it nonetheless, she will extend her patience and mercy and gentleness to her children to show them the real heart of Jesus.

She will still teach and train and correct as Jesus did, but gentleness and compassion come from a humbled heart.

You see, showing gentleness and mercy comes from a heart that recognizes the need for gentleness and mercy for herself.

*****************************************************************************

A Special Deal!

If you have been wanting to start a book club or group in your church using Desperate, now would be a great time to get the books! If you buy five *paperback* copies of Desperate this week (through Friday) you can get the Desperate DVD for FREE!

Go HERE (or your favorite store) to get the books! Then just take a picture or scan your receipt and send it to: desperatebook@thomasnelson.com

Giveaway!

Up for grabs are...

• Five copies of Desperate
• The Desperate DVD
• A Vintage Pearl "breathe" necklace
• A yummy Yankee candle (your choice of scent!), and...
• $100 towards a maid service!

To enter, just fill out the form below!

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Worry, Worry, Worry--What Do You Worry About??

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.  2 Timothy 1:7

When my children were babies, I worried about them dying in their sleep.

When they were toddlers, I worried about them getting really sick or having a serious accident.

When they were in elementary school, I worried about my complete inadequacy as a mom and feeling like I did not know how to raise up my  kids to be Christians.

When they were in high school, I worried about them turning away from God or not following Him. (We all hear the stories about Christian kids  turning away from God. )

Worry, worry, worry.

What does it accomplish?

Sleepless nights and worry- filled days.

What if we really did what God said to do?

"But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will  not be pleased with him." Hebrews 10:38

How can we live by faith? There is so much to worry about, so much to fear.

But God says that we are to live by faith and trust Him.

He says He will help us and never leave us. He says we are not alone. He says that we are to trust Him and to pray. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

He also says not to worry about tomorrow. I love the story that Corrie Ten Boom tells about How God gives you grace one day at a time. When someone asked her how she could possibly have endured what she went through in the German concentration camps during World War 2 she said that she had the grace of God to help her.

She told the story of when she was a little girl, she would travel on the trains with her dad quite frequently. He understood that she did not need her train ticket until right before she stepped onto the train. He gave her the ticket just at the time she needed it.

Gods grace is like that train ticket. We don't get it until right when we need it. So, when we worry about tomorrow and all the things that could go wrong, we don't have God's grace to help us because we are not there yet.

How would we live our lives differently if we really believed God and His word?

God has given us everything we need- His power in us, His word, He hears our prayers,and He gives us His grace one day at a time. He knows that we want to be good Moms. He knows that we want our kids to follow Him and love Him all the days of their lives. God knows we have financial, marital, or health issues.

Jesus loves us and cares about what troubles us. He wants us to stay close and pray and trust Him.

I used to have what was called a Worry Box. I would write down what I was worried about and put it in the box and give it to God. Every once in a while, I would look back over all of the things that I had written and was always amazed at what I worried about. I feel the same when I look over my journals and prayers to God that I have written over the years. I wish I would just trust God more and walk with Him, day by day, moment by moment.

As I am approaching 50, I find myself wanting to live by faith more and to encourage my family to do the same. It is my prayer that I can live my next 35 years of my life walking with God, trusting Him more, and worrying less.

How about you? How can you start today to trust God more, pray and walk by faith? God is with you. He will help you, today and always!

Written by: Deb Weakly--my friend, co-hort in ministry and tea drinking friend!

*****************************************************

Remember our special this week on Desperate DVD's and our giveaways!

A Special Deal!

If you have been wanting to start a book club or group in your church using Desperate, now would be a great time to get the books! If you buy five *paperback* copies of Desperate this week (through Friday) you can get the Desperate DVD for FREE! And if you're one of the first 50 to purchase five books, you also get these lovely Redeemed - Everything Beautiful Earrings!

Go HERE (or your favorite store) to get the books! Then just take a picture or scan your receipt and send it to: desperatebook@thomasnelson.com

Giveaway!

Up for grabs are...

• Five copies of Desperate
• The Desperate DVD
• A Vintage Pearl "breathe" necklace
• A yummy Yankee candle (your choice of scent!), and...
• $100 towards a maid service!

To enter, just fill out the form below!

Also, here is a peek at what the videos are like:

 

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Desperate DVD Launch! {Giveaway: Maid Service, DVD's, Earrings, Books, Candles, and More!}

Getting Desperate in the hands of so many sweet moms has been such an adventure. We are so very grateful for all of you who have supported the spread of the news of our book. In light of that, we wanted to provide a one day special celebration, so that we can get Desperate in the hands of more mamas. You can help us spread the word, and also enter into a great giveaway! Thanks for all of your wonderful letters and messages about our book. We love and appreciate you sweet kindred spirits who have written us.

The fun just keeps on going!

A Sale!

The Kindle version of Desperate is on sale TODAY ONLY for $3.99! Get it here!

A Special Deal!

If you have been wanting to start a book club or group in your church using Desperate, now would be a great time to get the books! If you buy five *paperback* copies of Desperate this week (through Friday) you can get the Desperate DVD for FREE! And if you're one of the first 50 to purchase five books, you also get these lovely Redeemed - Everything Beautiful Earrings!

Go HERE (or your favorite store) to get the books! Then just take a picture or scan your receipt and send it to: desperatebook@thomasnelson.com

Giveaway!

Up for grabs are...

• Five copies of Desperate
• The Desperate DVD
• A Vintage Pearl "breathe" necklace
• A yummy Yankee candle (your choice of scent!), and...
• $100 towards a maid service!

To enter, just fill out the form below!

Also, here is a peek at what the videos are like:

 

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If you wait long enough, ....!

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord!

Psalm 31: 24

So many eras I didn't think I would live through----crying babies with colic; ear infections and nocturnal asthma; hysterical fits and fusses and tantrums for never ending years, one day at a time, with a mysterious child with adhd, ocd and odd; marriage struggles between me, a totally romantic, relational woman married to a totally rational, organized man who had to work way too many hours to keep this family afloat; messes,  rejections from family for our ideals; 17 moves; loneliness, too little help or support systems; financial crisis; illnesses and hospitalizations and testings never ending; church splits; irrational people; and on and on.

Today, as I look back, I am still here, but God has changed me through it all. I am more patient with everyone, because I see how much I needed patience and still need compassion. I appreciate my faithful husband who has stuck with me through it all and has continued to dream of how we can change the world and write new books and keep this ministry afloat, (amidst him doing 4 loads of laundry last weekend, while I grocery shopped, bought birthday presents--again, and wedding presents for family).

The failures and mistakes I made gave me humility--a gift that allows one to be more appreciative of God's forgiveness, love and grace. Humility prepares one to minister to others with compassion and sympathy. Few leaders are wise without a dose of failure and having to submit to God's discipline. Children have a way of humbling mamas.

I see that I appreciate the Lord more, I am less attached to this world,  because after many disappointments, I have finally realized in my heart as well as my head, that this world is temporary, the broken place and heaven gives an anchor in the midst of taking our love for this world out of our hands.

I don't really care as much what other people's opinion of me is, because I know that I cannot please others and than my audience is the Lord. Only He can make me feel ok and centered with so much potential for failure in the eyes of someone who is looking and wanting to tell me their opinion.

I greatly enjoy my adult children as my best friends. After all of these years, our tastes were developed on the same food, movies, books, travel, spiritual experiences--Clay and I built our own kindred spirits and we all love being together.  (Maybe through all the struggles, my efforts at keeping going, training them, reading to them and telling them passionately about the Lord was really accomplishing eternal results in their hearts--but I didn't always feel like it mattered at the time when they were fussing over things like, "He touched my toe! or His piece of brownie was bigger than mine--and all of these very important issues.)  I am pretty relaxed with Joy  as a 17 year old in college, because I know the Lord will faithfully guide her, teach her, speak to her and protect her--because I have seen Him be faithful three times before now.

I often didn't think I could make it through another day, depressed, exhausted, overwhelmed. Feelings were often dark. But I had no choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other. God knew I could make it. God breathed life into my children's souls. God taught Clay and me more about unconditional love and grace. As a good Father, the Lord was training and disciplining me, as His own child. Stretching me and building into my life, by using my own children as a soul-shaping tool. He is so good and so faithful. My family and my life became the road to my ultimate joy and freedom from the things I thought would fulfill to the things that truly fulfill. He used them to surgically remove some of the rough edges, expose the immaturity, remold my values and thoughts.

I still have my ups and downs, sometimes sadness and dark thoughts that a fallen world brings, and don't know how my children's stories will sort out, but I am more familiar with the process and the Trainer.

So, this week, though still filled with more and different kind of issues, I,

Thank you, my sweet Lord, for your wise ways, for keeping us going, for filling our souls with that which matters. Thank you that you helped me to keep going and going and waiting and waiting. How grateful I am that it is all in your good and capable hands. The sweet memories, the hope that comforts, the work that satisfies, all the things I did not know or understand when we first started. Keep me faithful and hopeful as I continue on this path of your making.

Loving well, living well! And the winners are:

Joy and Sarah, sitting on my bed giggling as I tried out clothes for a conference, soliciting their opinion.

Fun memories and horsing around on my bed--a snapshot of precious moments of "Girl's club" built on many years of cultivating our close friendships.

"In the twilight of our lives, we will be judged on how we have loved." St. John of the Cross

Ahhhhhh! Finally, after ten days, I have more than five minutes to myself! It is truly a phantom to think that any woman can do it all! I have found in my own life, that if I am attending to the needs of my children, Clay,home, close friends and family, I really have to economize and prioritize my time, as my life pretty much demands every moment of me! I do, more and more with each passing day, sense how important my role as a mother and godly woman is and I do get such joy out of it--as I daily see the results of my many years of striving toward the goal of being a woman after God's own heart and serving those around me for His glory.

Now don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I always feel loving towards these strange people who inhabit my home!

But because of my love for the Lord, which is more dear to me each year, I keep putting one step in front of the other and see, with the eyes of my heart and mind, the power of my work to fill souls with great thoughts and causes and love for God's kingdom. Mostly, though, I see more clearly how much I am a living picture of God's reality every day, by exhibiting the fruit of the spirit, by giving cups of cold, refreshing water, by serving and giving of myself and my wisdom and teaching and by always taking the initiative to speak life and joy and wisdom on a daily, regular basis.

We once had a friend who was very pious. Our family would often feel guilty when we ate dinner at her house because she made us feel that we should all be more serious, but we all felt like w had been let out of jail when we left her home.

She accomplished so much and had a pristine home, but we all felt drained being there. Her attempts to be spiritual and to pray and to "work" for God, I am convinced, was out of a heart that was striving to figure out how to really know God and serve Him sincerely. Yet, the result of all the denying of self, and speaking piously and working, working, working, left most the people in her life feeling guilty and feeling a bit cold and far off from her.

Since it is obvious she had not experienced the grace and peace of God, she could only give out of a soul of performance of works,  which brings about death to  relationship, if not infused with the grace and freedom of God. She often only spoke in religious phrases and with each passing month seemed more cold and drained of life. Just the result she wouldn't want. And eventually, she became depressed and wondered where God had gone, since she had given all of her life to Him. But honestly, God did not require that she kill herself in exhausting herself with a myriad of tasks, but all he wanted was her to know His love and to share that love in the moments of her life.

I do not wish in any way to discourage anyone or to diminish the sweet mom's devotion. Yet, sometimes, we are lost in how to really rest in God while holding up ideals. More on that soon, as I know we all sway between the Martha and Mary ways in our lives. But resting it all in His hands and not taking it all on our shoulders is a start.

As I have been pondering this situation, in contrast, I have realized that when I am in the presence of someone who really walks with God, I feel there is such an evidence of life and joy and goodness and well-being and grace and faith. God tells us when we abide in Him--rest in Him, stay in Him, walk with Him, we will bear much fruit. The fruit is a natural result of His spirit working through us, not in us trying to force push out works of righteousness on our own.

When one is washed with the unconditional love and grace and mercy of God, the result is peace and thankfulness of heart and humility. Of course the few that I can see really exhibit the life of the Lord, aren't above discouragement or humanity, but there is a palpable sense of a way of walking with God and having made a decision to please Him and to trust Him through the ups and downs of life. There is a security I feel in being with them, because I know their sails have been set toward the King and His Kingdom and I can trust in their integrity to continue journeying in the right direction with Him at the helm.

I feel a rest in my relationship with such people because I know I am safe in the hands of mature, seasoned lovers of God who will love me and accept me and point me to Him gently as we walk this road of life in fellowship.

Pondering the influence of love and gentleness and mercy and compassion the past couple of days, and how reflecting Christ's humility and unconditional love win the day.

********************

Sarah's picture outside where we are staying with friends, at sunset!

This week, I am in California, celebrating moments of life with dear friends, where our children will gather to celebrate Nathan's birthday, and following whatever adventures that come our way. I am so grateful.

Congratulations to the 7 Winners of Heartfelt Discipline! Thanks so very much for all who entered!

Carrie Dulin

Michelle W.

K C Cooper

Chesnye  Steward

Colleen Garcia

Jessica Hoffman

Brandle Brown

I will be emailing all of you to get your addresses. I hope you are blessed by Clay's book!

Moving from Despair to Hopefulness

Vincent Van Gogh

Sadness can sometimes overwhelm us and seem to rain deep, abiding darkness over our hearts. Mamas carry so very much on their shoulders in this very fallen place. I am so deeply sorry for the events of today in Boston, and Iraq. My heart has gone out to them and my prayers for their comfort have been flying from my heart all day.I wish I could take a meal, embrace and comfort one of these precious ones.

In no way, do I want to diminish the suffering of so many dear ones who are in the throes of tragedy.

Yet, I have seen in so many tragic situations where woman seem to have this innate ability to mount up over dire circumstances to bring hope, redemption and life in the midst.

Faith is the glory of a woman when she could choose to fear, or quit or despair, but instead chooses to believe against all odds.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

We take it in our hearts to choose hope--hope that our faith will be justified, because we believe that God is real, He is loving, He is powerful and He will have the last word.

“Only a Christian has a right to hope, for only he has the power of God to give substance to his hope…Earth is bearable because there is hope."

A.W. Tozer

Throughout history, the battle between light and darkness has ebbed and flowed with horrible acts of violence and wickedness being perpetrated on undeserving, innocent lives. But stories have also been told of the many heroes who entered into such battle and stood in harms way to protect those who were frail, to battle against evil and to stand forth for the right.

It seems that the incidents of violence, tragedy and killings have filled the stories of our lives in this century. Even in the past few months, our family has been surrounded by a  several untimely deaths of precious ones who have taken their lives at too early an age.

We have all felt such deep sorrow and empathy for those who have lost loved ones, even in Boston today, in Iraq, where real people and families have been destroyed, and who have had to bear these tragedies in a more personal way.

Try as we may, we cannot make control this world or subdue all that is evil.  And yet, as believers we must come to God and His word for our answers. The world around us is longing for a word of hope, a reason to keep going, a comfort to their shattered dreams and overwhelming sense of grief.

What if we are moving towards the last times and what if God has chosen you and your family to live through a very difficult time in history, because He trusted you to be able to live a story of faith, to look to Him for hope, to comfort those who are longing to feel the loving arms of God wrapped around their necks?

A friend of mine who is a Bible teacher once said that she thinks some of the greatest people who have ever lived are alive now. The reason being that it requires so much faith, strength, Biblical perspective and focus on Jesus to live through difficult times.

We read in Revelation, that Satan, knowing his time is short, will pour out his wrath on the earth. The gospels tell us that in the last days, even the elect will be tempted to fall away. And we know that people's love will grow cold from reading in Matthew.

The concept of being "over-comers" is used 28 times in scripture--those who overcome evil with good; those who overcome temptation, overcome difficulties, overcome spiritual battle. To overcome means to conquer, to vanquish evil.

For whatever reason, God has seen fit to allow us to be born in this time. We know that throughout Biblical history, there were many who lived in fear--the Israelites who were afraid of the giants in the land; the army of Israel when they faced Goliath and many more stories. Yet, God was on the side of those who chose to believe in Him against all odds, to take steps of faith to bring His light into the darkness. 

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord! Psalm 31: 24

What if God is calling us to come in the name of the Lord of Hosts and instead of running away from the battle, He is asking us to run into the battle head long because we believe that the Lord of Hosts is with us, and that in the end, He will prevail.

What if we are called today, to be strong--to make the faith choice to let our hearts take courage?

Joel noted today, that instead of adults just running away from the bomb, many ran into the storm of chaos to help, to hold, to lift and to comfort.

It is easy as parents to fear the world our children have been born into. But what if, instead, we prepared our children to be warriors for His kingdom? What if we whispered over and over into their sweet little hearts, that though we love them so much, we cannot keep them from evil because God has chosen them to fight a valiant battle, to be a hero of light and goodness in their time and that some day, Jesus Himself will say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant!" --because they fought the good fight and were waiting, like Paul, for the crown that is stored up for him and all who believe and wait for his coming.

Little ones must be protected from media and events that would cause them to fear, so that they can build such strong foundations on goodness, they will be firm and established in love, in goodness and in the ability to hope. In time, the right time as God shows us, we can little by little be the ones who interpret this world to them from God's eyes--but God will help us to know when they are ready.

Yet, little by little, we must strengthen their muscles of faith by giving them the opportunity to be sources of hope and comfort and love to those in need. We are their trainers, those coaches, who are to prepare them to stand strong in their world when God calls them away for His great work.

Satan will not have the last word. Though the battle rages, we shall prevail because we are His and He is the king and Lord over all.

He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. Rev. 21: 7

It is my prayer all of us will hear the very voice of the Holy Spirit calling  to have hope, because He is the ultimate redeemer and we know that we will reign with Him through all eternity, after we have been faithful here, to fight the good fight, as Paul did. May we also run the race with godly endurance, keep our faith, and wait for the crown of righteousness that will surely be ours. And may our children who follow behind us find us faithful to leave them a story of hope, a pathway of courage and an end that rejoices in the reality of His presence.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. II Tim 4: 7-8

Mentoring Monday! Serving Children to Teach Them to Serve!

Sunday Morning Feast

Here

Way 6

The smell of coffee brewing, warm cinnamon bread coming out of the oven was one of the ways I would bribe my children to crawl out of bed on Sunday mornings early enough to get ready for church. Often, I would lay the Bible out by Clay's plate with a favorite verse I had been reading, in case he had not had enough time to pick a chapter out ahead of time.

Especially when my children grew older and activities, jobs and trips interrupted our previously predictable schedules that they had know as little children, I felt it important to gather all of us around the family table to invest once again in each other.  Sunday morning feasts were my way of gathering us every Sunday to catch up on all that was happening in our lives. Our church didn't start until 11, so we usually had plenty of time to eat a leisurely breakfast together.

From French toast to apple-pecan pancakes, scrambled cheese eggs to cinnamon rolls, breakfasts on this day were always a pleasure we enjoyed. Last Sunday, after a very active, tiring, but fun week with Joy home from college, I planned to arise to make a fun breakfast before we took her to the airport to fly back to school.

Much to my surprise, when I came downstairs, the table was set, and a pot of fresh tea was steeping that she had made to bring up to me in bed, and French toast from my homemade bread was sizzling and browning on our electric skillet.

"I just wanted to serve everyone one last meal before I took off to tell them I loved them. This has been such a fun week at home, I wanted everyone to know how much I loved being here and spending special time together."

There is almost nothing that means more to me than someone else cooking for me and setting the table or washing the dishes! I was deeply grateful. Even more, though, it has been fun for me to see my children serve each other as a part of their own inner integrity--a grid that they have owned that they are people who God has called to serve, help and meet the needs of others. What a treat to be served by my own sweet Joy!

Serving does not come naturally to most of us, it must be trained into our core values. Yet, teaching children to serve one another can be fun and also fulfilling as children love feel their own prowess and strength when they learn that something they have to give is needed by others.

Way # 6 of Our 24 Family Ways

"We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first."

Memory verse

"And whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all, 'For even as he son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many."

Mark 10:44o-45

Serving others helps children to learn how to think of someone other than themselves. Often, serving others softens their heart, comforts them in times of need, and obviously makes their loads in life easier. Serving is a skill and character quality that is so easy to spot because it is so rare in adults today.

Many moms say, "If someone would just take care of my children once in a while, I would be soooo grateful just to have a break."

If a child grows up serving, it will come as a more natural part of giving their whole lives.

From making, " I love you," cards to plates of cookies for neighbors, cleaning a child's room, making a special sick tray when a child was in bed, serving meals at the homeless shelter, and so many more ways, helped our children to learn to give of their time and effort to ease someone else's life.

Occasionally grumbling, or dragging their feet accompanied the training exercise of serving others. None of us is naturally unselfish.  But often, it created a positive sense of self-worth in our children as adults would thank them or people would be pleased with their efforts.

I actually think that serving as a way of life at our many national parenting and mom's conferences over the years, in some ways tied my children's heart to Christ's heart of giving his own life, because all of the kids have verbalized how much of a role conferences have played in shaping their faith.

Jesus called his disciples to serve along beside him and in this practice, they began to perceive themselves as leaders.

This week, engage your family and even young children in thinking how they might help or serve someone in need. You will probably be surprised at how much they will enjoy being a part of something that makes them feel rather important. The earlier you start, the better, as it will become a part of the fabric of their lives!

Serve away!

Today, you will also find me writing at Momheart.org about Kind words that melt our children's hearts!

Today is the last day to enter the drawing for the 7 copies of Heartfelt Discipline I will be giving away tomorrow! Be sure to remind your friends to enter today for an opportunity to get Clay's book:

Order here!

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Peace, Rest, Grace to all you Sweet Mamas!

Exercising beauty--a woman's civilizing honor!

Scripture is very vague on so many subjects that often we want to fill in with human thoughts and rules. I so appreciated the wonderful comments and thoughts and ideas I saw come across my blog, facebook and to my email yesterday. And yet, we are called to glorify God in this role of motherhood by living by faith, seeking Him for wisdom, and then exercising the glory of our motherhood by creating life-giving ways in our home within the unique personality details of our own story. And of course, you will become wiser every year that you walk this road with God and His grace will follow you as you follow Him.

So, do not worry, those of you who wondered if you have ruined your children. Don't all mothers wonder that? God's grace and life follow those who seek after Him and who seek Biblical wisdom, the counsel of those whose lives have produced mature fruit and who live in prayerful faith. As I have said many times, a wise woman copies wise women.

Though I have read BabyWise and am familiar with Growing Kids God's Ways, I was not specifically just addressing these as a curriculum. There are many formulaic approaches. And there is much wisdom to be gleaned from reading different books and ways.  Ours is to become discerning in what we read with a grid through which we see life, that is based on the counsel of scripture and the counsel of wisdom.

But I was also addressing some of the underlying philosophical issues that have crept into our lifestyle choices that seek to make the task of mothering children pragmatic and utilitarian, instead of what is really needed to infuse children with the life and love of God.

With the onslaught of the internet and television and lack of training of the character of sweet mamas, there are many ways and temptations to put our babies aside and to neglect their very basic needs--to be held, loved and cherished and attended to, so that they can grow into strong, healthy adults. The distraction of the internet, television, cell phones, and drive for women to find distraction and companionship on the internet has diminished, as well as feminism, has diminished the incredible role that mothers were created by God to perform.

And so, I seek not to create rules of definition, so much what or who you should follow--but to call you to the age-old boundaries that were set up for the physical and psychological development of children. So there will never be a formula of how long to nurse, when to discipline, when to encourage babies to sleep, on my blog, as each child is different. I do think that having rhythms and boundaries as a goal to bring order to a home must be a part of a wise mom's planning--but there is great room for freedom, if living within wisdom's ways.

Sarah was almost a perfect baby. Almost never cried, learned to go to sleep easily. (I am a believer in training my babes to blankies and other cuddlies that signified to them comfort.--more on that another day.) But I thought I was a great parent because she was so content. Eventually after I got over the initial dismay of having a baby and having mild breast infections and the flu and all the interesting stuff that happens to your body in child birth. But because I had the flu when she was born and my milk did not come in well and I wanted to nurse her, I fed her on demand so that my supply would grow strong and would be sufficient. But my desire to nurse her far outweighed my desire for sleep as I wanted to have this experience and it was so precious.

And I know several moms suggested that the exhaustion at the beginning of  having a baby is overwhelming. I feel like most mamas with littles are often exhausted--for years on end, amidst the stomach flu, ear infections, disrupted schedules, teething, nursing, seasons of fear in baby's lives, bedtime routine and more.

However, I learned that my capacity to be strong and to mount up over exhaustion was built into my body and was something that I would learn to overcome with a will to overcome, as I had no outside help. My point is that some challenging seasons and exhaustions and illnesses are just life and will be lived through, with patience.  I think if we had grandmas, aunts, friends surrounded us in our communities as of old, we would not have to be so exhausted and do it alone.

Joel was a real number. Had him in Austria. He would only nurse for about 2 or 3 minutes at a time and was a large baby, and then he would sort of grunt and make weird noises with his throat and wouldn't, couldn't eat. The Austrian nurse suggested he might have a brain injury--so that kept me busy praying for a while. The funny things people say to us when we have our babies! But because he would never nurse much, I had to feed him more often. But he was also an easy-going baby. Just very physically and behaviorally different from Sarah.

Nathan never settled or rarely did. He arched his back and cried a lot. No method worked with him, but I kept praying, touching, loving him and since I had two other young children, he still had to fit into our lives and I obviously needed to attend to my other very young children.  But I carried him a lot, rubbed his little back, and tried to calm him as best I could in the midst of Clay working 70 hours a week and me having no help and two other little children that had ear infections and clinical asthma, a lot! But I always pursued touch, love, gentle responsiveness with all of them while having less time to be neurotically idealistic as I was at first with Sarah.

Nathan did not sleep through the night until he was four. I kept loving and cuddling him and seeking wisdom with all the kids in the midst and just felt that his issues were not discipline issues as others had suggested. But since I had two other children within more of a normal range of comforting, nursing, quieting, I had a suspicion that something was internally wrong with Nate, so I refused to spank him for something that seemed beyond his control, though he did cry often and sometimes would lay on the floor and scream and kick.

He ended up he did have a digestive issue that I discovered when he was 4. I was so grateful that God led me, in spite of the more demanding attitudes of others that I was going to ruin him, to be consistent as possible, to gently lead and train him, and to seek to be patient in the midst of a very challenging baby and child. God used this season to stretch my faith and my dependence on Him. He trusted me with Nathan as a very challenging child to teach me compassion, patience, faith and love, and to be able to encourage other sweet mamas who were trying to figure it out.

This is where some of our convictions came from as we were living amongst so many strict disciplinarians who said we were going to "ruin" our children. And Clay and I just kept seeking to be consistent in loving, holding, affirming and training all of our children to maturity--little by little. And of course this is when we began the convictions that are held in Heartfelt Discipline because we saw so many parents following arbitrary formulas regardless of the child or personality or gender or maturity level. We just did not believe that one size fits all and now we had seen that it would never work with the children with which we had been entrusted.

Then Joy came, and I almost had to fight to hold her because always one of the kids wanted to hold her, rock her, sing to her, play with her. And she was very easily incorporated into our busy lives. But I nursed her until she was 27 months because our established alone time was an anchor to her life amidst others who were so involved.

So each child needed something different and had different rhythms. Even extroverted children behave differently than introverted babies. They are more active, require more stimulation, and more settling, by God's design. There just is not one formula that fits all.

Yet, in the end, we must seek to find the combination of habits, rhythms in our lives that will honor the validation of children that God has granted us, with His spirit to shape.

There is no formula or one right way, but there are wise ways and life-giving heart attitudes that will pour into the very core of our babies. My desire, whatever "systems" you adopt, is to elevate the loving and cherishing of the babies that God gives us as gifts--those whose souls and the implications of their souls will last through all eternity. Our children's lives will effect generations and the way we invite them into our home and into our lives will determine much of the way they feel about their lives.

But God has asked us all to live by faith within the limitations and blessings of our own personality, the personality of each child, our own story. We are given a mandate in Genesis 1, right at the inception of the creation of woman, to subdue our lives--to rule over and bring order to our world--including that of our babies. And so the ruling over our babies and children and family must come from wisdom--from the very nurturing potential that God designed into our DNA--our hormones, our brains, our souls and the modeling of other wiser and experienced women as seen in Titus 2.

Eve was called the mother of all the living. When a woman acts upon her life-giving instincts and uses her creativity to exercise wisdom, it is a glory to her name and story.  And so we want to choose life-giving commitments that bring about beauty, civilization, love, excellence into our children's beings.

My desire was to stir up within women the value and sweetness of babies--to treasure them, to hold and kiss them and sing sweet lullabies. The sadness of mama-hood is that children have been devalued in our culture and so many philosophies have sought to help mamas manage, make their children less of a burden and more convenient. Is having a child or committing to any important relationship ever convenient?

It was not convenient for Jesus to pick, train, love and serve his disciples and then to die for them. Love has a cost. But because the stakes are great when it comes to loving and shaping the next generation, the hard work and investment reaps eternal rewards that justified all of the cost.

Too many words--perhaps, but wanted all of you mamas to know that He is with you in your home, He loves you and does not require you to please other's standards, but to live in the freedom of you home with Him infusing your ways with wisdom and life as you go. Our God loves to redeem and bless all who look to Him.