Seasons of Life As a Mama ... and a Giveaway, of course

Sequestered by myself in a small, dark, cold room, I had taken two days away in the mountains to work on a deadline, when everyone was out of town. After hours and hours of trying to think of profound things to share, I became frustrated from being cooped up and decided to take a walk in our beloved small mountain town of Breckenridge to get some fresh air.

As I was walking the town main street, a darling little shop caught my eye. I crossed the street and remembered that it had been one of my favorite in years past. I had been admiring a beautiful shawl, paisley, in blues--something I had admired several times before. (I am wearing it in the pictures!)

Shari, the owner, seemed an immediate kindred spirit as she and I talked and shared stories. I ended up with the lovely shawl--(and must say I have had lots of comments on it since I have been wearing it! :)

Shari showed me around her darling boutique. Exquisite gloves gave us a fun time of trying several on with outfits. My daughter, Sarah, loves beautiful leather gloves and so I knew quality at once.

As we talked, Shari offered to give away one of her lovely vintage, turquoise shirts ($70 value!) for a mother's day gift to one of my readers.

You can find more about her and her beautiful store by visiting:

Here: http://www.handandglove.com/index.htm There were so many lovely unique items and I already have my eye on another lovely flowing blouse. 

Shari made my afternoon a really fun serendipitous memory.

Enter below to win this lovely blouse, a $70 value, for you or for your mom! And thanks so Shari for this fun Mother's day gift for one of you or your mothers if you win.

And, today, I am giving away 3 more books--one of my own favorites, because I wrote it in the thick of my mothering years--Seasons of a Mother's Heart. I hope it will greatly encourage several of you mamas in the midst of your seasons! Here is an excerpt!

"So many seasons of my mothering years brought challenges, unexpected stresses and lessons and a constant stretching of every fiber of my being!"

"I am by nature strong-willed and idealistic, and for many years I was in the habit of telling God how I thought he should run my life. I was so willing to live by faith and to do whatever it took to do his will, yet God didn't seem willing to reciprocate by changing the negative circumstance and relationships in my life!

There was a period of 12 years in our marriage when Clay and I experienced difficult circumstances almost as a way of life. Even though it was also a time of wonderful ministry experiences and much fruitful work, I seemed to find myself too often complaining to God about the difficulties, pleading with him to change our circumstances.

Now, as I look back over those years, I can see that I waste a lot of time wanting God to change the very circumstances he wanted to use to prepare me for the ministry we're now enjoying. How thankful I am that I did not get my own way, but how I wish even more that I had not wasted so much precious time trying to! Much joy was missed during those years by not choosing to be thankful.

Life is not that much different now than it was then, but I am different now. We still have great blessings mixed with great difficulties, but I am learning how to choose to be thankful for both. Rather than resisting the life God has given to me, I can choose to relax and release the stress of a busy life through a spirit of thankfulness, because I know that God is in control. And in that choice, I am discovering the joy that God has always wanted me to have. And for that I can joyfully say ... thank you, Lord!" ~ from Seasons of a Mother's Heart 

Enter to win one hour of mentoring.  

EACH OF THE PRIZES WILL BE CHOSEN AFTER MIDNIGHT FRIDAY NIGHT COLORADO TIME. THERE WILL BE 17 WINNERS--3 OF EACH BOOK, A MENTORING SESSION AND THE LOVELY BLOUSE. HOPE YOU WIN!

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The Power of Servant Motherhood & 3 Ministry of Motherhood to give away!

Bending his knee on the hard, dusty floor, Jesus face creased in  deep thought as he grabbed a rough towel. Longing to reach the hearts of his beloved friends, He knelt to touch them, to serve them, to feed them, showing the depths of His love for them through his gentle, intentional gestures.

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end ...Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. ~ John 13:1, 3-5

Jesus' call to His disciples was compelling; a call to lay down their lives, to serve, to experience rejection and even persecution. He was asking them to believe something that would eventually cost each one of their lives--that He, a carpenter from Nazareth, was actually the Messiah.

The darkness of the evening must have matched his heavy heart? And so what did He do ... before breaking bread and pouring wine, before letting Himself be broken?

He washed 120 toes.

What an example for us as we live life with our children!

"Jesus was going to transfer to His disciples the responsibility of taking God's message of redemptive love to the world. But instead of just telling them what to do, harshly commanding their allegiance with orders and threats or guilt and manipulative statements, He chose to tie the cords of His heart to theirs with the strong and unbreakable bond of a loving, serving relationship.

Jesus spent His last night on earth with His disciples in service to them. How powerful their memories of that night must have been--the King of the whole universe touching and rubbing their dusty feet and gently drying them with a towel. Their Lord and Master breaking the loaf of bread and serving each of them for the celebrated feast of Passover.

Jesus' example of servant leadership set Him apart from so many historical religious leaders. He was not a God who lorded it over His followers and demanded they follow Him or coerced their obedience through authoritarianism and fear. Instead, He called them to the excellence of holiness and yet lovingly served them in order to win their hearts and show them the means of reaching others' hearts as well.

Contemplating the hearts of my own children and seeking to teach them about the grace of God, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time, my attention, my "soft-tickling"--even when I am tired or have other "important" things n my mind--is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."

 ~ from The Ministry of Motherhood

The Ministry of Motherhood is a book all about following Jesus' example as we mother our children, and it, too is part of the giveaway bundle this week! Don't forget to enter for your chance to win!

Enter to win one hour of mentoring to one winner!

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Home: The Leadership Center for Life {Plus Mission of Motherhood GIVEAWAY!}

 Our Home: Headquarters for life... books, talks, life, beauty, places to belong!

Returning from several speaking engagements and talking to hundreds of mother's has impassioned my heart and renewed my energy for the messages God has placed in our lives for many years.

When women decide to take responsibility for the moral character, the intellectual prowess, the leadership skills, the spiritual vision of the next generation, there will be powerful, fundamentally righteous leaders in every generation.

I believe in these life-changing messages in our books so much that I wanted to give them away this week in honor of mother's day. Will you help me find women who need to have these books to encourage them?

Each day, I will be giving away 3 of my books (today Mission of Motherhood) and one hour of mentoring at the end of the week for a mom who enters every day. Help me give my books away to moms who need inspiration!

There will be a couple of more surprises this week, but now I must have my cup of tea and unpack my bags!

Vive le mothers! :)

Excerpt from the Mission of Motherhood:

Home--it's such a beautiful word! It's the corner of our lives, the place that holds us with invisible strings of love within its walls. Home is the place where the delectable smells and tastes of "my favorite food" linger; where the comfort and beauty of "my room" and "my bed" can be enjoyed, where "my dreams" are inspired and begin to grow, where bedtime routines, prayers, and blessings give comfort, where the intimacy of deep relationships--unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, encouragement, unselfishness, laughter, and memories--is shared with people who have made us a priority in their lives. Its where appetites for favorite music, movies, books, games, art and traditions are shaped from infancy on up.

Home is a haven from a world that is swimming with challenges and difficulty. It is a school where one learns how precious life is intended to be. It provides the context of learning to know and love my Creator, the beauty of the world He made, and His Word, which guides me. And it is the environment where direction and purpose and values are passed from generation to generation protecting and preserving all that is precious in life."

"I can honestly say that no book has ever inspired and motivated me more in the area of parenting. I could not put this book down and highlighted the whole thing. It is one of those books I recommend to mothers and will read again."  -Amazon Review

Enter below to win a copy or...

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Why Your Older Kids Fight Your Teaching ... and How To Fix That

I'm so glad to have Tricia Goyer sharing with us today! She has some thoughts for us that are non-traditional but right on track regarding teaching older children .  I know you'll enjoy what she has to share!

I'm a mom of six children. I've been homeschooling 18 years, and with three preschoolers, I have another 18 years of homeschooling to go! Three of my children are adults. Cory is 23-years-old, married, and he and Katie have a baby boy and one on the way. He's a working man and a caring husband and father. Leslie is 20 and will be graduating from the University of Arkansas, Little Rock, next month. She's a stellar student who will be living in Europe as a missionary right out of college. Nathan is 19-years-old and a college freshman. After one semester of college he was asked to work as a writing coach in the university's writing center. Even more important than how well they're doing in life, my three older kids love God and have a deep, growing relationship with him.

We also have three more kids ages 5, 3, and 2 who've been added to our family through adoption. As a 41-year-old mom sometimes I'm overwhelmed with thinking of doing it ALL again, but if there's one thing I've learned it's to focus on one day at a time. And focus on one heart at a time.

I started off by telling you of my older kids' successes in education and life because I want you to know it is possible. If you would have told me three years, five years, or seven years ago where my kids would end up I would have been relieved—but confused. I often fought with my kids on getting their work done. They seemed unmotivated at times. Some (most?!) of their work was done half-heartedly, and there was one child who just could not “get” the read the book and answer the questions model.

There were many homeschooling days that I found myself in tears. I prayed for God to give me the answer, and when it came it wasn't what I expected. “Throw out the lesson plans and stop trying to force learning. Look at each child individually. Focus on that child's heart, and teach to that child.”

“But what about Geography and Geometry and all those other critical subjects?” I prayed (and fretted.) Still, God kept the answer that He spoke to my heart the same.

What did it look like? Truthfully, it looked completely different for each kid. I signed one up for co-op classes, one for some college classes, and one did hardly any traditional work at all. Trying to get my youngest son to answer a worksheet was futile, but I did discover he loved watching DVD courses of college lectures. Except for some math and language computer programs, for three years this kid watched DVDs for homeschool—classes about history and science and notable people. And the he told me about what he learned.

He also like to write fictional stories on the side. Stories I never edited, never graded. Stories that were focused more on his imagination than on his education.

This child hadn't written one essay at the time he started at our local university. Yet this was also the kid who got an A on every university paper he's ever written and was asked to be an intern at the writing center as a Freshman.

Looking back, what God was asking me to do was to coach my children to grow into godly people who loved to learn. Looking back, I can see this is far more important that learning the periodic table—but at the time I was so overwhelmed and stressed that all I focused on was what my kids weren't learning.

Why are your older kids fighting your teaching?

1. It doesn't fit their style.
2. It doesn't fit their interests.
3. You're more focused on the lesson plan than him (or her).
4. You are comparing him to others—other students, other siblings.
5. You are thinking of this semester—this year—instead of who God designed your child to be and God's plan for his life.
6. You're more focused on preparation for the SATs, ACTs and other acronyms than preparation for your child to follow the great commission.
7. You see yourself as a teacher more than a coach.

I know this list because I lived it. I know this list because I've fought against it!

Recently, I was able to write more about coaching our kids in a book that I co-wrote with Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges. Here is a short excerpt from Lead Your Family Like Jesus:

Just $1.99!

How Jesus Was Coached

There was nothing random in the life of Jesus. This includes learning the carpenter craft from His earthly father in preparation for His season of earthly leadership.

            It’s interesting to note that when Jesus returned to His hometown of Nazareth, people quickly identified him as “the carpenter” and “the son of the carpenter.” The unremarkable nature of His local reputation would indicate that the way He learned and went about His craft wasn’t out of the ordinary.

            Joseph would have coached Jesus through the stages of learning. Under the instruction of his father, Jesus would have progressed from novice to apprentice to journeyman, and finally to master teacher. Through the day-to-day coaching, the transfer of knowledge and wisdom flowed from one generation to the next.

            When Jesus was a novice, Joseph would have given Him basic orientation to being a carpenter—including how, where, when, and why He was to do certain things. As Jesus worked with Joseph as an apprentice, Joseph would have acted as a performance coach, showing Him the right way to do things to produce the right results. Joseph would have given Jesus instruction, observed His behavior, provided support and encouragement, and redirected Him as necessary in the tasks assigned.

      When Jesus was a journeyman, able to work on his own, Joseph would have assigned Him tasks and then would have become His head cheerleader and supporter. When Jesus became a master teacher, demonstrating His competence in all the key aspects of His craft, Joseph would have changed his leadership to empower Him and send Him out to work on His own.

      It’s reasonable to assume that Jesus mastered the craft of carpentry. Had it been God’s will for Him to teach it others, He would have done so in obedience and excellence.

            What we do know is that Jesus applied His knowledge of obedience to the way He guided His disciples from call to commission. From novices to master teachers, Jesus coached them and sent them out to teach others in His name. It’s an example we parents would do well to follow.

Are you struggling with feeling that you're lacking in productive teaching time with your kids while there is so much that they need to know and learn? If so, then answer these three questions:

1. If there were no “standards” for your child to follow what would he or she enjoy learning?

2. What would be an effective way to get your child more excited about learning?

3. What could you do to draw your child's heart toward God?

For each child the answers will be different, which means turning to God and learning better who your child is. God created each of us unique for His purposes. How exciting that He's trusted you to coach your child toward that call!

Are you interested in powerful parenting principles from the Maker of Families? Lead Your Family Like Jesus is only $1.99 until May 5!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008PX0HSO/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0QSC88N3HJW88XW5QBYV&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1389517282&pf_rd_i=507846

I'd love for you to pick up a copy and tell your friends! Also, feel free to connect with me at www.TriciaGoyer.com or www.Facebook.com/AuthorTriciaGoyer

USA Today bestselling author Tricia Goyer balances writing books while caring for her 6 kids and mentoring teenage mothers. Her recent releases include Lead Your Family Like Jesus and an Amish novel, The Promise Box.

Lighting the Fire vs. Keeping the Rules

Joy, in speech and debate a year ago 

A year ago, I shared this story, but as I prepare to speak at a conference, I realized that mamas need hope and fire in their hearts that their labor is having great effect. And of course read to the end where you will find out how this year has progressed for Joy's first year in college. Not all children will fall away! Take courage and be strong in the Lord! 

“Sally, are you really ready for your baby to leave home?!” quipped one of my dear friends when I was buying one last birthday present.

Yes, it is true that this week, Joy, my youngest of 4, is turning 17. I am savoring each day, as she will be leaving for college this fall.

Several women have questioned Joy, Clay and me at mom’s conferences this spring.

“Joy, aren’t you just going to be 17 when you start? Aren’t your parents fearful that you will lose your faith? You’re just a baby—I can’t believe your mom would be so irresponsible! (No one said this to my face, but Joy did say she was tired of hearing the same quips mentioned to her again and again.)

It is hard to believe that my youngest is now a young adult. But after sending off my other children to New York City, Boston, and Oxford in England, I have a heart confidence that God lives in those places, too, and that He will be faithful to complete the work of maturity in Joy’s life, even in California, that was begun in our home.

Seeing our other children prove faithful to Biblical ideals in difficult arenas, on their own, has helped me to trust our children into God’s hands.

Early, Clay and I understood the power of influencing children by inspiring their hearts, instead of trying to control their behavior  by following all the right rules.

But we had a great model—Jesus.

Jesus’ method of discipleship became our model for parenting. He entrusted the whole world into the hands of his disciples when he went back to heaven. He sent them into the world, even though Peter, the rock, the leader, stumbled and temporarily made some huge mistakes by leaving turning from Christ; Thomas doubted him, and all of his disciples hid. But Jesus knew that their hearts were engaged and that living for the Kingdom, after knowing His love, would move them to a life of great spiritual investment.

“I will make you fishers of men. I will entrust the kingdom into the hands of normal men who are empowered by the Holy Spirit and trust God to go before them to do the work.”

Basically, Jesus empowered normal, mostly uneducated men, to be the message makers who would bring Christianity and the testimony of Christ, to “turn the world upside down,” as we read in Acts.

And so our focus was to inspire our children and light a fire of vision in their own hearts to find God’s work suited to their personalities, and to fulfill His purpose.

Before you judge my decision and Joy by her age, let me tell you a about her. She  finished formal high school by 16, entered  local college last fall, by herself, because I was at my mother’s funeral in another state. She made good grades, kept a job and acted in a play throughout the fall. This spring, she joined speech and debate. Her rank in speech has consistently climbed as she has invested hours in improving her skill and competency.

In the past five years, through babysitting, doing day care at MOPS for 4 years, working in various jobs, she has saved $5000. Joy has a heart for discipleship and is going to start a group this summer to build into some young women who she feels need guidance and Biblical input. This is her 4^th summer in a row to host such a group.

Though not perfect, as no one is perfect, she has passed one of the principles of our home—“He who is faithful in small things will be faithful in much.” Joy has proved faithful and has won the trust of our hearts.

Believing in giving our children bigger and bigger arenas of trust and purpose, as they prove faithful in small arenas, one at a time, has helped them grow in maturity and confidence at an early age.

Even more important though, we have placed trust and confidence in Joy and our other children since they were quite young. We thought her trustworthy and spoken these words into her life from the time she was a little girl. Placing small responsibilities in her path, a little at a time; putting her in charge of small tasks and letting her manage them; giving her and her friends areas of our conference to manage —

A leader is built by a perception that they have something to invest, that their message matters. Their self-image is built on believing that they have something important to impart to a world that needs to have their light.

So, what really matters in the long run? Rule keeping or vision making?

Inspiration and love bring life and energy to a child’s dreams of what God has created them to be, and if you believe in who they are becoming, they will also believe in that spiritual  blessing, and seek to live up to it the rest of their lives.

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A post script: Joy is finishing her first year at Biola University in California. Her first year has been so very wonderful and we are so grateful. Every time I talk to her, she shares so much of what she is learning about the Bible, about her walk with God and about all of the sweet friends she has made. As a freshman on the speech and debate team, she and her partner took gold in nationals, which was so exciting for them. She will be an RA and counselor on her floor next year which suits her personality so well.

When God prepares your children through you, as you teach them purpose and kingdom work, their hearts will have a focus to live for and a life to aspire to fulfill.

Have there been some ups and downs? Of course, this is a new road in her journey. But she is not surprised by challenges as she experienced them at home before she left and we walked through them with her. She becomes stronger through each battle which is a part of her basic training for life. And of course we talk multiple times each week lots and lots because we are connected to each other's hearts.

And so our focus is their heart, inspiring their imagination of how God created them for good works and helping them to discover how to follow Him as He leads them into living for His glory.  And of course, depending on God to have access to our children's brains when we are away from them, we thank Him for the work He is doing each day and we lift them up to Him daily expecting him to work wonderfully.

Joy and me recently at spring break, shopping as all girls are wont to do! :)

What Do You When Your Child Does Not Fit The Mold?

 

Not one of my children fit the "mold" of what we thought were other's expectations. As a matter of fact, we didn't either. Why is it, then, that we were so tempted to listen to the voice of accusation, condemnation or judgement of others, when we really never expected to fit in?

One of the most important decisions I ever made was to understand that, "The fear of man brings a snare." I realized that giving my children freedom to be who God made them to be was accepting them as a gift that He made especially for our family. It was my job to adjust, not my sweet out of the box children. I know you will enjoy this article by my friend Deb about her own out of the box child!

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 Do you ever feel like your children don’t fit the mold? Maybe it is your Sunday school mold or your kindergarten mold or homeschooling mold--your child just does not fit in? You know, the “calm, quiet, polite, yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you, please, always has their napkins in their lap, and never chews with their mouths open” kids?

I never did. As a matter of fact, I had the ones (particularly one) that would always get into trouble every where we went. She was often the one into EVERYTHING, touching everything, always reaching for something, and just about to hurt herself trying to touch something dangerous. She frequently had her little toe right on the edge of the line that you told her not to cross. 

That was my Christie. 

But you know what I learned? God made Christie to be hugely curious, not the normal curious, but the type of curious that always wanted to be constantly learning and constantly engaging her brain. The only problem is that sometimes it came across as disobedience because I could rarely keep up with her, and it seemed like she constantly challenged me when in reality, she just wanted to keep going, learning more and more and was rarely content to sit on her laurels.

I wish I would have understood that when she was little. I wish I would have given her grace more and not taken the things that she did to be disobedience. She needed constant learning, challenges, and stimulation for her little growing brain. (She is still like this today as a 19 year old)  Thankfully, God gave me books, wisdom, friends and family that supported me. He also provided friends that encouraged and believed in me and my Christie.

I will never forget the friends that told me how wonderful she was and how smart she was and never seemed bothered by her getting into things at their houses. I will never forget the friends that wrote Christie notes or wrote on her Facebook wall and showed her love in countless ways. She still loves them and still wants to see them when she comes home from college. My friends have become her friends. Last trip home she went to lunch with one of my friends, and another one had her over for tea. Both friends always constantly speak into her life. A different friend of mine texts her and says how much she loves her and believes in her. This is the body of Christ.

By why is it that so much of the time we, as the body of Christ, judge or gossip about our friends' kids when they are going through a hard time? Why is it so hard to be committed when a friend's teenager is being sassy or exerting his/her independence? It becomes a lot easier to criticize or judge when a friend's three-year-old comes over and throws a tantrum than it is to stick by them, pray for and with them, and genuinely be there for our friend.

I will never forget my friends that were there for me and my kids. They still are, and my kids consider them some of their best friends.

The Bible says, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you.” Luke 6:37.

Be there for your friends. Be that friend that “sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24. Be a forever friend and a family friend - no matter what.

That’s what we are called to do as Christians. We are called to love each other and each other’s kids.

Oh, if you happen to have a Christie, take heart. They are wonderful blessings! Ask the Lord for wisdom and patience. My Christie is at a Christian college on a wonderful scholarship that the Lord provided because of her academic achievement. She is reading 3 books at a time right now, devouring books of scripture, has a successful apologetics blog, and hopes to get her doctorate from Oxford. Was she an exhausting child? Yes!! Has she become a woman that blessed me and always challenges me to think new ways about God? Yes!!

I have decided that I am so happy my children don't fit the mold! Life is just so much more interesting this way!

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

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Today, I am also writing at In Courage:

Desperate was the word that captured my feelings as a young mom of three under five years old.

Becoming a mom at 31, I did absolutely adore my precious children, but I was exhausted every day, never quite on top of the messes, sleep deprived and often short tempered. For a few years, I gingerly held life together, but seemed to become more weary and exhausted each passing day.

When my third child, Nathan, was born, he appeared perfect. An easy delivery, he slept through the night immediately and I thought, “This is going to be an easy-going baby!”

That lasted for three days.

From that moment on, he was absolutely unpredictable. He did not sleep through the night until he was 4 ½. When I would try to put him to sleep at nights, even as an infant, he would arch his back and scream and yell for thirty minutes.

From time to time, he was that child in a restaurant who would throw a chicken leg across the room, lay on the floor and kick and scream.

“No!” was his favorite word when Nathan was five years old. As the third child and second boy, it seemed he had to do something every day to get attention to be sure he was not overlooked.

“What am I supposed to do with a child like this?” I prayed every day.

I felt torn between loving my children and feeling inadequate and frustrated most days.

One day, I sat down in total defeat, a sense of darkness hovering over my soul, and wondering what I was doing wrong, I opened my Bible and read…

“Children are a blessing from God, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Slowly over the next days, as this verse began to capture my imagination, I began to ask God to show me my children from his eyes and to help me to know just how I was supposed to mother them......

for the rest of the story, go  here!

Today, right now, spring fever has hit hard

So, is it too early to have spring fever? My house needs organizing. Groceries need to be bought. Meals must be made. Birthday presents for Clay, Sarah and Joy need to be gathered. Packing my bags for one more trip with Clay is still waiting for me in my bedroom. I need to work on my conference messages so I will have something quite profound to say to all the sweet moms who will be together in South Carolina.

But, my brain is empty and I just want to play, or nap, or watch a movie!

But, I want to eat something wonderful without thought of calorie or fat or sugar--and all by myself with no one else to even taste my piece!

I need to answer correspondence.

 I need to work on two chapters of a  book proposal due next week, and the subject is about owning our priorities in life---hummmmmm!

But right now, I do think I am desperate for about a year off, with a maid to wait on me while I serve everyone else, and a long vacation or journey to a new place, (I love stimulation of new places as a break from the daily grind.),  long uninterrupted time with the closest of friends to some place beautiful and restful where someone cooks all of our meals and cleans up for us, probably a beach,  and no responsibility or calls or demands, and no one needing a part of me for one single moment.

Or I would take the girls to a fun place where we would all just talk and play and talk and play and of course eat and coffee or tea a lot! (Yes, I meant to make coffee and tea verbs as we "do it" so much!)

Really, the truth is, spring fever has hit me hard, and very early.

So, is anyone else having spring fever? Anyone else out there need a mid-year adventure?

Just wondering............

Really........Really! Want to play hooky with me today?

What would you do to escape if you could?

Mentoring Monday Making Soul Deposits with Words aimed at the Heart

April 19, a historic day--Nathan's birthday

Gentle breezes fluttered the blooming white rose bushes as the pink and gold light of the setting sun began to reflect on the windows of the ocean side patio. A sumptuous favorite boy-meal of grilled steak, baked potatoes, grilled corn on the cobb, and all the trimmings had been eaten with relish. But the best part was yet to come. A perfect evening as a setting for a poignant memory that would last a life-time.

Thoughtful friends had invited our family to come to their California home for the evening of Nathan's birthday so that we could be together to celebrate his special day since the year before international travels for the rest of us had left him quite alone.

Nathan lives in a very challenging place where Christianity is ridiculed, immorality is freely accepted, excused and practiced, and young adults are tempted to fall away from the faith they learned of God in their homes, now far away from home. Hollywood......

Yet, the treasure chest deep in Nathan's soul, is filled with gems that shine and bring brightness to him in his dark moments that help carry him through these passages of the choices he has to make every day to keep walking with God.

What are these gems?

Words--thousands and thousands of them--words that he stored up in the deep recesses of his conscience, soul and heart

Words about how much we loved him, valued him, believed in him, words from scripture, words in personally hand written notes, emailed words, texted words, words prayed over him, with him--and of course our habit of spoken words in the presence of each other for many years.

And so, Nathan was deeply appreciative and genuinely excited and so very thankful to have our family gathered to invest more rare treasures that he might have for the coming year.

We quieted ourselves and began one of our favorite family traditions. Each birthday, each family member (and friends who want to participate), tell the birthday person why they appreciate them, how they have seen them grow, how they have been blessed or encouraged, ways they have observed godly character being exhibited through their lives and ways they are thankful for that special one being celebrated. Each year, the ritual has become more precious and personal.

Joel began and mentioned integrity by staying faithful to God, taking initiative and exercising faith to write his own script in Hollywood and to take a risk in order to put out honoring material onto the screen in Hollywood. We all lavished our best words onto his heart--our love for him, how dear a friend he is to all of us and the ways he shows it, and on and on. As with each year, I could fairly see Nathan's heart fill to bursting, his eyes softening and his sweet man smile responding to us. But this year, I could tell he needed these life-giving words even more.

Finally, we asked him what was most on his heart and how he wanted us to intercede for him.

Gathering closer as the darkness of night penetrated the soft voices of our sharing, we gathered around him and placed our hands on his back, to touch him as we prayed before the throne of God on behalf of Nathan's deepest heart desires and live dreams. Prayer for his life, his future, his movie, his walk with God, his friendships, spiritual growth followed the sharing of love, as each year we dedicate the birthday child's year into God's hands with blessing and faith.

Nathan on his 24th birthday night this month.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Words have power, the ability to influence, to inspire.

They also have the ability to demolish, destroy, discourage, to tear down faith.

How important it is that this ideal of training our children to true, godly, heart-filling words as a way of life is practiced and reached as they grow up in our homes, with life-giving words surrounding their every day.

All of our children have faced many temptations, challenges, discouragements and loneliness as they have forayed out into the world to work or go to school. And yet they go with messages stored up that speak to their minds in the midst of all the moments of challenge.

Words of life, light and love can be such an anchor to what matters to our children when they are out in the storms of life.

Many people think nice thoughts about those they love. Yet even as the 10 blind men were healed but only one returned to thank Jesus, so many people neglect to practice saying words and so the hearts of our children often bear their burdens in isolation.

Practicing saying words of love and life start with the mom who is training her children. It requires a plan. But teaching and training our children (and husbands!) to be comfortable with expressing these important words starts with habits and traditions of giving words of blessing often.

Writing cards, emails, texts of love and short thanks for what you did today.

Leaving notes on pillows

Writing on bathroom mirrors.

Having dinner times of, "Let's tell one person in this room something we appreciate about him today."

Teaching your children to give grace when they feel like giving a curse. (I have taught my children in times of anger, to learn to write down at least 3 things about the offender that they appreciate.

Having a peace-making couch. Making your children sit on the couch, not being able to leave, until they have made peace, said words of forgiveness, and told each other at least 3 things they appreciate about each other before they can get up.

Practicing praying aloud with each other on a daily basis. (Also practicing every day thanking God and appreciating Him for what He has done.

Words bring life, but it is rare that people actually take initiative to say all of the words of love and appreciation they should be saying.

Marriages need daily words of love and appreciation to grow through the dark moments.

Depression needs reason to hope by hearing "Why I believe in you. Why you are not a failure. Why I sympathize with you. Why you are a blessing, words."

That is why this 24 Family Way is so very important:

Way # 6 We encourage one another, using only words that build up and bless others."

 Memory Verse: Do not let any unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that is will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

We were often heard to say, "Did your words give grace?" And then, what should you have said instead--what is a gracious word? Apologize.

Crassness, sarcasm and cynicism is rampant in our society. If we can joke or make fun of everything and anyone without regard to a need for respect or civility, then we diminish our ability to become gracious.

Training your children to become considerate of their words takes training, tradition, habits, and practice. James tells us that the tongue is like a fire that can burn and destroy. And so, all the more, it is important for us to practice and train our children (and ourselves) to becoming aware of giving gracious words as a product of our lives.

Nathan left our presence filled up anew with the assurance that a whole community of Clarksons believes in him, supports him, loves him, prays for him, because he heard all of us take the time to say it out-loud with him and then to say it over him in God's presence.

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Need a maid? And Aslan is on the move in Sarah's Life: Wheaton, Oxford, Scotland? hmmm

My Sweet Sarah in Oxford amongst all of the books.

Dreaming out-loud with our children from the time they were tiny was something we practiced regularly as parents. We would say,

"God is such an artist and He has made you with a very special personality, skills, interests, with your own story. I can't wait to see how He will use you to change your world. You are so very special."

And yet, we had no idea of how our children would take to our training, our words, encouragement and love. God is so good to take our fish and loaves and make them into a miracle.

Watching the seeds grow, the seeds that we had so faithfully planted in the lives of our children, has been one of the most exciting and fulfilling accomplishments of our lives.

Recently, Sarah's life has been greatly in bloom.

From the first moment of Sarah's birth, I adored her. At 31, I was so happy to finally be able to hold my sweet little one and it seems from the very first, we were kindred spirits. We always have been.

One thing that marked Sarah from the time she was small was her love for words, her penchant to read, her hunger to learn, her love of writing. She is a natural student, but when she graduated from high school at 16, she was offered a book contract by a Christian publisher. She wrote and published her first book, and set her on a path of writing, travel with us in the ministry, and a time of adventuring all over the world.

I love how our hearts and souls have been shaped together in the past years. Books shared, cups of tea, friends known, international travel; I literally could not have made it through these years without her friendship and companionship. We are kindred spirits through and through. She is a delightful friend of my soul.

But she has always been an academic at heart. Along the way, a publisher heard her speak on literature and children's authors and immediately gave her a contract for a guide to children's literature. She continued to travel and speak, to master the art of writing, and always, she continued to read. Her ability to weave words into heart-touching beauty is truly a gift.

Last year, one of her dreams finally came true. She was able to be a student in Oxford for a semester, and she came alive in a culture where others read and thought and discussed ideas with a relish equal to her own. When she returned, she had a new dream and a strong determination in her soul.

With fortitude, she began to look for the best way to finish her undergraduate degree. Now, she is beginning that path, as you will see below. And I know she hopes to continue on to a Masters degree, and maybe even a Ph.D if that is the story and road God takes her on.

As a mom, I can see how perfectly God has worked to bring her to this point. I am so very happy for her to be able to pursue more of her dreams, so glad that she will be able to encourage and influence even more people with the life-changing writing and ideas God has begun to develop in her life.

So I thought you might want to hear from her own heart just what is happening. I know so many of you have heard Sarah speak over the years, so I wanted to share with you what is unfolding in this "new era" of her life. I will miss my kindred spirit-traveling companion, but love seeing the doors of her life opening wide with opportunity. Here is what Sarah shared yesterday on her blog: Thoroughlyalive.com:

My New Era

“How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.” -Henry David Thoreau

New eras begin with new ideas, as Thoreau well knew. He spent a lifetime writing the kinds of books that might arrest a man mid-step, shake him to the core of his soul and set a new road at his feet. Sometimes, you can read something so powerful, so exactly sating to the hunger or hope of your particular soul that it sets a new path at your feet and changes the course of your journey. Thoreau knew it and these days, so do I.

Friends, I’m about to start a new era. The time has come and the choice is made. At 29 years of age, I’m finally heading off to college. I’ve been accepted to Wheaton College (near Chicago) and I’ll begin my studies in English and Philosophy this fall. Wish me grace as I go?

The book that prompted this change? Well, it wasn’t really just one. I suppose you could say it was the Bodleian itself and every stack of books I ordered for every essay and all the old libraries in Oxford that instigated this decision. But the books that really sparked it all were the ones I read through my C.S. Lewis tutorial, books that explored the “truth-bearing faculty” of imagination (as Malcolm Guite says). When I read Lewis’ Surprised by Joy one rainy day, and understood that we may know what is Real through observation and reason, but also and equally through imagination and experience, through a beauty that speaks in a “language without words,” I sat up straight in my library chair and knew that heightened air of a newborn era.

You see, I’ve spent most of my life trying to understand the truth that came to me through imagination. In the stories I have read, the music I have heard, through the hours I have spent in creation, I have known something true about God that has been the foundation of my faith. Beauty has spoken to me of spiritual reality since childhood, and I knew it was truth even though the knowing came through a language without words. The stories I read deeply shaped my interior world, widening my capacity to enter the story of God. But I never felt quite able to argue for the power of the imagination as equal to that of logic and reason.

As I studied in Oxford, I finally began to realize that in Western culture, we generally place the highest value on what we know through Reason, on the truths that are quantifiable, easily counted and observed. We tend to denigrate the knowledge of imagination and experience because it is something received, a presence that is subjective, interior, known only from within. Because of this, we think of beauty and the arts as peripheral to the spiritual, a by-product of holiness, rather than something that powerfully communicates it to us. But Lewis explained to me that this is a lop-sided view. Language is simply another set of symbols pointing back, along with imagination and creation, to what is ultimately Real.

Read the rest of her story here and be sure to cast dreams in the heart of your children!

And don't forget! Today is the last day to enter the giveaway!

If you have been wanting to start a book club or group in your church using Desperate, now would be a great time to get the books! If you buy five *paperback* copies of Desperate this week (through Friday) you can get the Desperate DVD for FREE! And if you're one of the first 50 to purchase five books, you also get these lovely Redeemed - Everything Beautiful Earrings!

Go HERE (or your favorite store) to get the books! Then just take a picture or scan your receipt and send it to: desperatebook@thomasnelson.com

Giveaway!

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• Five copies of Desperate
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Education is a mandate, not a choice.

Renoir

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use  to change the world.

Nelson Mandela

Recently, I was in a meeting, observing some leaders who were making important decisions about urgent responsibilities that needed to be managed by some new employees of this organization. An elderly CEO, an advisor of the other leaders in the room said,

"The problem is, most younger college graduates who are applying for these positions are ill prepared to take on such responsibility.  They have not read broadly on many subjects or world view and so they have almost no perspective of historical issues. Because they are media dependent, they are subject to believing popular views espoused in media. Raised on television and entertained to death, with a constant appetite for movies, their opinions are shallow and reactionary. Thinking clearly and well and synthesizing ideas from reading profoundly and exposing themselves to great thinkers is clearly not even a part of their training or a part of their daily habit or routine. Add to that a lack of character training and an inability to work hard and long through difficult seasons of work, and you will find it almost impossible to find an excellent candidate who can handle such important responsibilities. "

Though, obviously, many do graduate from college with excellent abilities, this statement is generally true about many young college graduates. Educational tests have shown a constant drop in academic abilities.

I feel so strongly that we live in a more and more ignorant world of people who are easily led as sheep to slaughter because they follow others rather than think for themselves. Ignorance and mental weakness brings poverty of soul and ultimately of life. This is a dangerous description adults when there is no valued wisdom, experience, academic prowess and character. When the adults are lacking, it follows that the children will have no excellent food for thought upon which to train and feed their brains.

Scripture commands us to,

"Worship God with our minds." 

God has created human beings to have a great capacity to use their brains to understand, learn, study, comprehend, create, invent, debate. And so one of the stewardships we have as moms is to take responsibility for our children's minds. God will hold all of us accountable for how we were faithful to shape and train their minds for his glory. It is one of the equal ways we are commanded to worship God. It is a glory to God when we seek to fill and expand our brains to be superior in thinking skills.

It is also a glory of a woman to be disciplined in her ability to think well and to articulate ideas and truth well. It exalts God, even as Mary did when she gave her magnificat.

No matter what educational choice a family makes, it is still the parent's responsibility to be a steward of their children's minds.

Like a muscle that needs to be stretched and used over and over again to become strong, so our brains must be stretched and exercised to become mentally and academically strong.

We must teach our children how to think correctly about:

God, His attributes, His character, His word, so that they can have a true understanding and love for who God is.

Biblical morality, so that they can build their lives on true foundations for relationships, choices, foundations for living.

Wisdom, and understanding so that they can learn to stand strong on their own to resist the ways that culture calls to them.

Read to them and help them fall in love with reading and books so that they will have a big vocabulary, a large understanding of the world, be versed in knowing how to think about ideas, facts, religion, politics, languages and all facets of education.

The leaders of the world are most often those who are well educated to think well and clearly.

How important it is, then, that we as moms, take the time to become the best educated we can be. I am not referring to degrees from college. Degrees do not necessarily determine a person's ability to think, or to influence.

But we must be readers, students of the Word, interacting with wisdom, and learning how to reason and defend our faith and ideals, so that we will have the internal resources to build our children into world leaders.

So, throughout history, when women attend to the education of their own minds and souls, and that of their children, a country flourishes for having foundations of intelligence, wisdom and truth in every arena.

Hopefully, I can begin writing more about educational issues that will help encourage many of you as you seek to influence your children's minds. Having influence on my children's minds has been one of the most fulfilling tasks I have ever enjoyed. The fruit in their lives has catalyzed the growth in my own.

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