We are not a picture-perfect family, but still worth celebrating!

 

This week, I am preparing for the Nathan's marriage to sweet Rachael, his love of the past 3 years. Ideals are probably at their highest when one gets married. Yet, I think that Rachael already knows we are a flawed family but still our story is worth telling!

How about your family? How perfect do you expect it to be?

And, is anyone tired yet? I am tired but mostly, blissfully so. (Only a few teary, over-whelmed moments--but then isn't that a part of the tension of family life and then trusting the Lord?) This picture was taken a couple of years ago when our family was gathered in California for family day that we celebrate each year together. At that time, Sarah, my 27 year old daughter, was home now for 2 weeks, before she went to Oxford in England.  She was filled to the brim with newly espoused ideals and thoughts. Joy, 16,  was in Sense and Sensibility for 12 performances in one season, which means late nights and an exhausted body and lots of running around. Joel, 25, was  home and Nathan had planned to  come for a break to rest at home after working so much. In this context,  food is always  a constant--with one boy at 6’3 and the other 6’5”, it takes a whole lot of groceries and cooking to fill them up--which also means more dishes.....arrggghhhh!

And in the midst of the weekend, my sweet mama passed away and I got word in a quiet call early one morning. At least we were all together and my sweet ones could share my grief. So, the imperfection, the celebrations, the happy times, the ups and downs, the stresses are a constant rhythm of life in family never cease--but always, family is a history and a story worth living well.

At all times, I feel a little bit like I am riding a wild stallion and holding on for dear life. Joel, my 25 year old, once jokingly said, "You know our family is like one of those loud Jewish intellectual families in Fiddler on the Roof who had an opinion on everything and has to discuss everything from the mundane to the sublime. Or maybe it is a fiery Irish family with abundance of spunk or a rousing, dancing Greek family, or Italians eating feasts chattering and, oh, well, Mom, you get the picture!"

It wears me out just to contemplate it--but I did know what he meant--there is not much quiet or calm about us when we are all together!

This “loud” image also grew not only in my mind from memories gone by.  While Nate practiced his drums, Joel was composing piano tunes in our living room on my childhood piano, in the midst of Clay trying to talk to me about his day, Joy’s friends came over and laughed and giggled and ate and made messes. When they left,  Nate and Joy were practicing singing to tape tracks--over and over and over and did I say, again, over?. (all while the dog barked intermittently at the fox outside and and growled and wrestled with the boys on the floor.) And Sarah, coming out of her bedroom, said, “Can anyone ever hope to get a nap around here?

I think there is an illusion for most moms, that some day, some future day, when my kids grow up, things will become calmer, easier, less demanding. Perhaps we think having a family where the life of God is real and love is sprinkled all around and great ideas flow and people are always eating or drinking--that somehow it will be calm, in order and quiet--or that somehow the work load will become lighter or that maybe if I ever get my act together, there will be peace and order, and more  time to focus on myself.

Somehow I thought that my training would transform my children into something supernatural. But though, all have matured, and I am so blessed that they love us and love the Lord, all are very much the same and have the same personality issues and antics. The mix of all of us together is dramatic--never a dull moment.

My role as a mother has grown with my children, but the responsibilities and time consumed  has never lessened.

After all these years, I have realized that my years have always been busy.  I am in more demand as a mom than ever, because my children still need my voice and advice and love and time as they enter into a very challenging world.

Yet, now, when my house is full of the life of all of us together, my heart is filled. We are together. This is the family where I belong. We have shared memories, same tastes in movies, books, traditions--years invested --invisible chords that tie our hearts together. We care about one another in ways that no one else in the world cares.

The ride is still an adventure, but somewhere along the way, I learned to hang on and now I am even enjoying the ride.

During the holidays, as I tucked Joy into bed, she commented, "Our family can be overwhelming, Mom! But I am so glad that everyone is here. I would rather have the wildness, the messes, the noise with all of us together and loving each other, than for it to always be calm with no one here to share life! This is really going to be the best Christmas!”

And so my wish to you is, that you will be able to enjoy the ride, the journey, the days--even if it is not picture perfect, today, this year, and remember that the adventure is worth the ride.

And I commend Rachael and Nathan, not to have a perfect family story, but one lived well and worth the telling to generations to come! And so, after a long sleep--tired from returning from the Texas conference, I will get up, plan the final details of the rehearsal dinner, and look forward to this week, when our noisy, imperfect clan will all be together again--and I will invite Rachael into our history to begin her own chapter with my precious Nathan! Onward!

Goodbye, Boring Greens. Hello, Fun, Colorful Salad!

Brandee and Sally

I have had some health issues of late, including respiratory, skin cancers, several repeated surgeries and just lots of exhaustion. A couple of times since my early 40's, I have taken time to focus on restoring my body with serious focus. A couple of weeks ago, I attended a health institute for a week long cleanse and rest--one of the best decisions I have made in a long time. In the most busy season of the year, (3 national conferences, a wedding, blogs and a book due April 1!) But, caring for myself is essential to my being healthy long term to be able to give more to my family, friends and ministry.

Now, I have never seen so much green in my whole life in one week--green drinks, fresh wheat grass juiced twice a day, salad, fresh veggies--green, green, green! But, taking time to refresh and getting back to some extreme ideals for at least a little while feels good!

But one of the things I have been doing since I got home, and have tried to do for many years, is to have at least one very veggie-loaded green salad every day! I raised my children on these salads--and though they had seasons of liking and not liking them, now all of them, as adults, eat lots of salads--and love them. I asked a sweet friend of mine to share some of her thoughts about salads as she is the best cook, has great salad dressing recipes and is working slowly with me on a book about our favorite meals and how to make feasting a great celebratory part of your life. So enjoy our pictures of our own salad art--that the kids love--and eat your greens and enjoy better health!

Love, love fresh tomatoes of every kind marinated in olive oil with garlic, fresh basil, sea salt and spread on small crackers or toasted homemade bread!

"Eat your greens!"

I can hear my mom’s voice echo through my head on a daily basis. Why is it that something so delicious can also seem so monotonous to eat? Perhaps it’s a lack of variety, or maybe you think that it’s just not as good as your favorite restaurant makes it.  After all, the dressing is homemade and they have someone to cut up all those veggies into enjoyable bite size pieces! While healthy eating is crucial to our well balanced lifestyles, we can't encourage our children to eat the foods that we find boring ourselves.

With a little prep work, you could have amazing salad options waiting for you on the other side of your refrigerator door. Your very own salad bar! God created food for pleasure and for sustenance.

Instead of putting salad in a bowl, I put main dish salads on large glass trays--Joy and Sarah and Rachael loved my food centerpiece!

Try your hand at creating your own salad bar this week and don’t forget to ask the family what they like in their salads too! Here are some tips & dressing recipes to get you going.

Optional Ingredients for Salad Bar:

Lettuce - romaine, spinach, red & green leaf, cabbage, arugula, iceburg, kale, spring mix, etc.

Veggies & Fruit - broccoli, cauliflower, cucumber, tomato, avocado, sweet peppers, jicama, artichoke hearts, carrots, celery, beets, corn,  peas, broccoli, onion - red, white, green, edemame, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, apples, pears, oranges, nectarines, pomegranate, kiwi, etc.

Herbs - parsley, cilantro, dill, chives, basil, mint, etc.

Protein -  chicken, beef, salmon, tuna, beans - white, kidney, pinto, black, garbanzo, hard boiled eggs, quinoa, nuts - cashews, almonds, pecans, walnuts, pine nuts, seseme seeds, chia seeds, cheese - parmesan, colby jack, cheddar, havarti, goat, feta, mozzarella, etc.

Large sprouts, tomatoes, cucumbers, roasted almonds, onions, lettuce, goat cheese, garlic and seasoned quinoa--with oil and lemon dressing. Joy and I loved this!

GARDEN HERB RANCH DRESSING (Makes 2 cups dressing, divide if needed)

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard or dijon mustard 1/4 teaspoon cold water 3/4 cup mayonnaise 1 cup buttermilk or milk or half n half 3/4 cup sour cream 1T tablespoon apple cider vinegar 1/2 tablespoon thinly-sliced scallions/green onion 2 teaspoons minced garlic 2 teaspoons minced fresh italian parsley 1/2 teaspoon worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon minced fresh or dry dill 1/4 teaspoon minced fresh or dry oregano 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper 1/4 teaspoon minced fresh or dry basil * I put in about 1/4 cup of fresh cilantro - optional *I put in 1/2 avocado too - optional Blend together in blender or with hand mixer and refrigerate until ready to use {lasts up to 2 weeks}.

 

So fun when it is beautiful. I think God would approve!

 Honey - Lime Vinaigrette (Makes 1/2 cup)

1/3 cup fresh lime juice (substitute with lime juice concentrate if needed) 4 teaspoons honey 1 tablespoon rice vinegar 1/8 teaspoon salt Blend together with hand mixer or just shake in jar with tight fitted lid {lasts up to 2 weeks}.

 Asian Ginger Dressing

2 - 3 cloves garlic 1- 2 T green onion 2 T minced ginger root 1/4 C soy sauce or amino acid 1/4 C sesame oil 1/2 C olive oil 1/4 C rice vinegar 2 T lime juice 3 T honey 1/4 C water *Toasted sesame seeds optional *Place into mixing bowl or large measuring cup and mix well with hand blender.

Another really simple way to beat the hassle and monotony is to make salad in a jar! Pick whichever day of the week seems to be the least hectic for you (perhaps Sundays) and make that your meal planning day. Gather all of those jars you've been saving, and prepare your salads for the week in advance! Be sure to dry the salad greens well. (spin them) and keep the wet things whole--tomatoes, etc. cut them when you dump them in a bowl. This will make it easy for you to bring the ingredients out for your at home salad bar, keep your fridge organized, and they also make really great salad lunches on the go for those busy days.

Get creative this week and enjoy your greens! What is your favorite salad?

{Enjoy a special Mommy Minute video from my sweet friend September McCarthy.{Enjoy a special Mommy Minute video from my sweet friend September McCarthy.}

Our Hidden Corners: Where God hides us through the storms

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread? When evil-doers came upon me to devour my flesh, My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear; Though a war arise against me, In spite of this, I shall be confident...... For in the day of trouble, He will conceal me in His tabernacle; In the secret place of His tent, He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock." Psalm 27:1-5

 When Joy was a little girl, we had a strange little closet at the entrance of our bedroom. It was a small, angular room that was a bit awkward and not suitable to hold much. But Joy found a use for it: her own little hiding place! We hung a battery-operated lantern on a little nail on the wall, and she would take all of her stuffed animals and her beloved blanket inside to hide, pretend, and play for hours. When I read this verse ... “In the day of trouble, he will conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of his tent, He will hide me ...” it reminds me of this wonderful hiding place of Joy's--a safe place from the outside world, where no one could find her; hidden in our room, safe from all the visitors who came to our house.

It seems I am surrounded by women who are in the midst of very difficult circumstances--hurting marriages, rebellious children, family members who are very ill, economic crises, broken relationships, and hurtful misunderstandings in friendships. I so wish I could somehow make all of these difficulties go away, knowing the deep struggles  many are experiencing during the dark times of life. Sometime over the course of many years, though, I’ve realized that I never really had a realistic picture of just what it meant to live in a fallen world. This, earth, is the broken place. Heaven is the place where we will see justice and wrongs being righted and healing and deep, bubbling-over happiness and freedom from the burdens of life. Here...not so much.

The other day, I was talking with my children and one said, "You know, it seems like people think that our family is so sweet and perfect, that it is easy for us to be good and make right choices, and that things have been easier for us than for their families. I wish everyone could see that the beauty of our lives and the messages we all talk about is a result of mounting up over difficulties, having faith in the darkest of times, putting up with impossible circumstances and difficult relationships. We have had to light candles of faith in the darkness and inconsistencies of our lives. I hate having people just think we are naturally sweet and good--they don't know the journey of faith it has cost us."

At heart, I am a very fearful person. So often, I awaken at night after only a few hours of sleep and the first feeling I experience is fear--fear of the future, a lack of finances, worry regarding my children, and so on. Yet I am learning so much, even now, about the importance of mounting up over fear by faith.

As I study the stories of scripture, it is obvious that when people looked at their obstacles in life--the storms, giants, battles--that they became fearful and useless and defeated. But when they looked at God Himself instead of their fears, they became strong and conquered in the midst of their battles, storms and difficulties. Peter saw Jesus walking on water and started out toward him, actually walking on water too! But when he turned his eyes to the waves, he became scared and began to fall.

The only way I have found peace and assurance and confidence in life was to let Him hide me in the corners of His tent--to let Him fight my battles, to submit to His will, and to say, "You be my defender and provider, because I am your child." Fixing the eyes of my heart on Him, on His face, on His integrity of character and strength, is the only way I could live by faith and not by fear.

And so throughout life, it is in resting in His presence and strength and power and goodness that will put our hearts at rest. It is only when we patiently face the storms confiding, "This is too big for me to handle, but I am asking you to handle it for me," and then learn to wait--and sometimes wait and wait and wait!--that we will see His purpose, ways and yes, salvation from our storms. I wish I had learned at a much earlier age not to struggle so and worry and fret--it did me no good, and now I see how very faithful God was--He just didn't always do it my way!

 If you have the desire to take your study deeper today, take a few moments to complete the reflection and application below:

• Where are your eyes? On Jesus? or on the storm? Hebrews 12:2-3 says for us, "fixing our eyes on Jesus--(looking to Him, trusting in Him, depending on Him!), who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him (ponder Him, understand His life, His sufferings) who has endured such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."

• “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:6 Do you have a secret place like Joy’s? It might not be an awkward closet and perhaps not filled with teddy bears, but it can be so helpful to have a spot set aside specifically for drawing away from the world and meeting with Jesus.

The Hidden years are the most crucial and precious in writing a Great Story of Life

Cinderella  Val Princep  around 1880

"He who is faithful in small things is faithful in much."

Though Cinderella, worked faithfully and patiently, with no one to notice, there was yet a princess residing inside of her, and in time, she lived into her real heritage--becoming royalty for the rest of her life.

Even fairy tales often reflect the truth of of Life.

Often, as we raise our little ones, our lives are filled with myriad tasks of nursing and rocking our children to sleep with sweet lullabies. Then there are the dirty diapers to deal with, the cries of our precious ones in the middle of the night.

Toddlers resist and we gently train them over and over again. Siblings quarrel and we teach them the ways of love, forgiveness, patience, kind words. Then there are the teen years when young adults strain to become independent and mamas have to choose to be long-suffering and pursue in love.

Year after weary year, we teach them about God's ways, His love. We subdue our homes again and again to make them a haven for life--filled with color, beauty, interest, traditions, even as God created the Garden, gave His children instruction through the Law, provided them with a land, gaven them food and protection against an army.

We labor day after day, month upon month, seeking Him to give more wisdom, renewed strength when we feel to weary to keep going. But somehow, His spirit shapes us as we shape a generation for His glory. And we are able to take one more step of obedience and pour out His unconditional love and wisdom to children who are not always aware of our sacrifice, until they are older. Yet, the seeking to give wisdom, excellence and holiness to our children builds our own souls, one day, one moment at a time. Our holiness matures and our hearts become flavored with His beauty, graciousness through each act of our own obedience given in the quiet and seclusion of our own home.

Often, we think that no one sees us, no one notices. How could it matter if we are invisible?

But, God is watching. God is building an invisible heritage that will indeed outlast our lives.

God painted the picture of patience, waiting, faithfulness through all of our years colorfully through the stories of so many in scripture:

Joseph had a dream of leading his brothers where they bowed down to him. But the training grounds of his becoming the head over all of Egypt was hard labor for a land owner, where he was accused wrongly of adultery. Then 10 more years being faithful in prison.

David was anointed to become the king of all Israel, but did not become king over both kingdoms for around 20 years of wondering in the wilderness, running away in battle after battle.

Abraham was called the Father of all Israel and promised countless generations would come from his own son, but had to wait until he was old before He became a Father of a son, who would make him the Father of the Nation Israel.

Paul was confronted by Christ on the road to Damascus, but he was secluded away for 15 years before he had a public ministry.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was called and then lived faithfully for many, many years, only to watch her son be crucified, but then resurrected.

When I was asked to speak in China, a number of years ago, because Mission of Motherhood had been translated into the two Chinese languages, I gladly accepted. Picturing speaking in a small underground church of some sort, I prepared messages to speak to a small group of faithful believers. However, the first place I was taken by my Chinese hosts was to an auditorium of 500, packed to the gills, at the University of Beijing.

As I looked around, I realized that all of my Chinese cohorts on stage had graduated from either Harvard or MIT. In fear, I pondered in my heart, "What am I doing here? Do they know I am just an ordinary person, a mom who has homeschooled, raised her children as best I could for His glory,  and cared for my children in my home for the past 26 years."

God whispered into my heart. "I was building your message and integrity and conviction in the hidden places of your home while you raised your children. Your integrity was built in the hidden years. Now, you are qualified to speak on family, the importance of motherhood, building character, because your messages were built before me when no one else saw, but I was there."

"I planned China before you even became a mom."

"China needs someone to tell them how to value families, children, the shaping of morality, the foundations of wisdom and greatness that must be built one day at a time. Who better to train them than a mother who has raised her family on faith, Biblical wisdom and love. You are qualified because I have called you and you obeyed, by raising your children faithfully when it seemed no one was watching."

My messages and life-conviction and wisdom was built in the hidden years.

And so, who you are, the choices of faith and faithfulness you make,when no one is looking, is a picture of your integrity.

The choices of faith and love in the midst of the whirlwind of life, is shaping your story, moment by moment, day by day. Never despise the day of small things because it is the shaping of your life story that will be told for generations to come.

The value of the hidden years is priceless. Now, this moment, is the day of your potential glory, if you practice being faithful and worship Him through each tiny service of loving and raising your precious ones for the sake of His glory.

May God give you the grace to see His fingerprints in your life, the shadow of His presence in every minute of your eternal work in your home. For today is the day you are writing your story, that your children will read for many years to come.

Shaping A Heart For Him {Happy Valentine's Day!}

"As parents, we do not always express our love for our children according to biblical principles and patterns. Occasionally one of us will "lose it" and unload verbally on our kids. Like when mom gives work assignments three times that don't get done. Or when dad finds his tools left in the yard overnight in the rain.

Like most normal parents, we have our "bad discipline" days when our gentle, sympathetic, loving spirits seem to go into hiding. Fortunately, our children know it's a passing phase (although they do get very obedient very quickly on those days). We recover quickly because we know their hearts, and they know ours." -Educating The Wholehearted Child

Over the years, countless mothers have asked me what the big secret is. How did all four of my very different, unique children end up living passionately in their own arenas pursuing a life that glorifies God? If your children will grow up to go out into the world and live a life for the Lord, it must start in your home.

Home discipleship is shaping your child's heart to live for God. It is taking the sensitivity you have cultivated in their spirit to know God and experience His life and building on that to help them to know more about God's truth and what it truly means to live for Him. Discipleship, ultimately, is the process of beginning to walk on God's path of life and to follow Christ. Although it will involve studies and reading and perhaps even some curriculum, it is at its core a relational process, just as it was in Jesus' day.

The difference is, now, you as the parent play the role of Jesus. You are inviting your children to walk with you and with Jesus, who lives within you, so they can begin to follow, learn from, and become Christlike. Your children are not your disciples-you are both disciples of Jesus, learning together to follow him and be like him. And when that happens, you have cultivated home discipleship.

You will be able to shape the hearts of your children through relationship with them. Each and every day will not be perfect, sometimes on their side, sometimes on yours. However, when you are walking with your children and doing life together, being disciples of Jesus together, your family foundation will be one of love and hearts for Him.

His love, through you, in the midst of grace in the midst of mistakes, will fill in all the cracks.

Fill their hearts with discipleship so that they may desire a life with God. Give your children extra love today, and

Happy Valentine's Day!

Nathan Told Me He Didn't Believe in God (And What I Told Him)

http://youtu.be/GBZu8Y3NwD4

Today's article is from the heart of my very talented, almost married son, Nathan. He wrote and sang the vocals in the beautiful song above, his fiancee, Rachael, sang the harmony, and my other son, Joel, so wonderfully arranged it. Read Nathan's story below, and take the time to listen and share his song!

I waited with a worried heart and a furrowed brow for my parents to come and say goodnight. Usually it was a quick prayer and quick “love you goodnight!”- but tonight I had something to tell them that had been burning a hole in my heart.

I could feel knots in my ten year old stomach, while I unknowingly wrapped my fingers tighter and tighter around my sheets.

On the walls around me hung pictures and poster of heroes and great figures standing tall representing the strength a young man's heart longs for, but tonight I didn’t feel strong or brave, as yet another distressing wave of doubt came over me.

The door swung gently open and my parents entered ready to send me off to bed as they prepared to end their day. After a short prayer and a pat on the leg they prepared to leave when suddenly I said “stop, I need to tell you something”. 

Gently concerned, they turned back around and asked me what was on my mind. A bit of fear welled up within me mixed with a twinge of shame as I took a breath and let it come out “I don’t know if I believe in God." The words hung in the air and the silence was almost more than I could bare. Then I felt the gentle hand of my mother rest again on my leg as the worry left her face and a sleight smile came over her face, “That’s okay."

Astonished that my mother, the most godly woman I have ever known, so nonchalantly took in stride my doubt of God, I replied puzzled... “It is?”

“Of course” She said “Every true believer will have doubts and questions about God, that’s very normal, when I first met Jesus, I know I did. You are a great boy Nathan, and I have no doubt you’ll be a great man.” And with one more “Goodnight I love you”, my parents gently left the room taking the weight of the world I had been carrying, with them.

That night my parents gave me something amazing, through their allowance of my doubts they gave me the ability to know God on a greater scale than I could have ever known him while having a faux faith forced upon me.  

Whenever I would have doubts, having felt the freedom to communicate with my parents about them she would tell me “Don’t worry Nathan you remind me of the great biblical hero Jacob, who wrestled God”, “I do” I would ask wondering how? “Yes” she would say “And that’s a great thing, because wrestling is a full contact sport and when we wrestle with God we are in communion with him, which is ALWAYS a good thing."

The song above was written years after that night in my bedroom, miles away from my parents in a small apartment in Hollywood. I had been going through a time of doubt and struggle with God, not unlike the struggle I faced when I was ten. I wanted to put all my fears and doubts into a song but felt a pause thinking maybe, I shouldn’t doubt God and just pretended to be okay. But then suddenly I could again hear my mother's words echoing through the confines of my minds memories “Wrestling with God is a GOOD thing, wrestling is a full contact sport, and as long as we are in contact with God you have nothing to worry about."

So with a pure heart, I wrote an honest song to God that ultimately brought me even closer to my creator.

That night in my bedroom, my parents gave me a gift. They gave me the gift of allowing me to doubt, struggle and fight, because they knew that is who God had created me to be. And because they allowed me to wrestle with God, they by default allowed me to be in full contact with him.

I encourage you, wrestle with God, doubt, struggle and be brutally honest with Him, He can take it, and doesn’t mind at all- when you do this you just might find that engaging in the full contact sport with your creator will bring you closer to God than you ever might have thought.

If you would like to download Nathan's song on iTunes click here. If you would like to download Nathan's song on Amazon click here.

Are you raising warriors or refugees?

Nathan, a warrior for His kingdom, bringing light , beauty and innocence into the dark places  of Hollywood.

"Sally, how can I be sure that my children won't be tempted by all the evil in the world," a sweet mama asked me.

"You can't." I replied. Part of your job as a mom is not to hide them from the world and scare them about what is in the world, but to arm them with the purpose of becoming a warrior for God's kingdom in dark places, so that they will not be overcome or surprised by the challenges they will encounter as adults."

Warrior, running toward the battle to take ground for God's kingdom.

Refugee--running away from the battle and seeking to escape engaging in the fray.

My children's stories definitely stretched me--but God was with me and He was my protector and guide through each step of the journey.

"What, Nathan? You want to move to New York City and attend the film academy? You are only 19--it is a difficult place? You really want us to pray about this?!"

"I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one." Jesus, about His disciples, in John 17: 15

And so send him, we did. And Joel and Sarah to Cambridge, Joel to Boston for school, Sarah to Oxford, and trusted them to God's call on their lives--and Joy to an out of state college.

Not too long ago, a friend whispered to me at a conference, "Sally, there are all sorts of women that I know who attend your conferences because they are encouraged, but they are criticizing you behind your back. They are asking the question, 'How did the Clarksons allow their son to move to Hollywood, such a wicked place,  if they have such high moral ideals?' They think you are living a compromise to your life as a Christian."

I am not surprised at statements like these. We get them all the time. I have always told my children that if you stand up to lead, you automatically become a target.

Yet, I also understand the concerns of these people who are criticizing us.

I have also been criticized for over-protecting my children. But the over-protection was for shaping their foundations when they were young and vulnerable. (keeping them innocent, giving them g-rated hero stories, giving them protection from peers whose values are worldly at a young age so they can develop their own foundations--before sending them out!) Keeping them loving what is good, true, honest.--And then as they begin to ask questions and grow and learn and show maturity--you take them with you in ministry, little by little, was the philosophy we followed.

I did not ask God to send my children into difficult, morally challenging arenas. But I did ask Him to help Clay and me build them into godly leaders who would take His light to a dark world. And, since they are adults and we released them into God's hands to follow what road He put on their heart, (with input from us all along the way), I spend a lot of time on my knees every day and ask for God to guide, intervene and protect my children.

Yet, I think at some point in the Christian life, regardless of  peers, our church's stand, our friend's opinions, blogs, loud voices giving pontificating statements, we must decide just who we think Jesus is and how His life and words should influence the way we live and the choices we make.  There are few radical Christians and yet,  He calls us to live radically--even if that means staying at home with your children to disciple them or serving Him in in the world in an unusual places--we must follow Him, not anyone else.

Jesus does not call us to a safe life--but to follow His life.

Jesus, the exact image of God, related to prostitutes and offered them a clean slate of forgiveness, and allowed them to touch Him and wash His feet.

Jesus, touched the infirm and contaminated--the lepers, the woman who was unclean, the blind, the sick.

Jesus looked out on the multitudes not with condemnation, but with compassion and told us to pray that God would send laborers into the harvest. He also sent His disciples into the world to redeem it.

Jesus did not exalt and affirm the Pharisees who had rules and laws for everything and stayed away from the "wicked" folk. Instead, he told the parable of the Good Samaritan, one of the "unacceptable" from a religious point of view, but the only one who was able to please God. He honored because he got involved,  because he lived in a compassionate way and gave of his life to save the beaten man, a victim of thieves, unlovely and in the dirt.

I think serving Jesus will, at some point, make all of us uncomfortable.

And so, I had to confront my own belief in what I thought was most Biblical in philosophy for raising children.

I wanted an Anne of Green Gables life that was safe, protected and always g-rated. But, that is not the world God into which He placed me.

So I had to consider, "What is your will for my children." He answered, "To follow Jesus to the cross, to be willing to give up their lives to redeem the world for His glory--to become a warrior for Christ's kingdom.

A warrior is one who sees the battle in his land, and is willing to sacrifice his life to protect those he loves, to save them from harm and to engage the enemy in battle. Battle is rough, costly, difficult and requires sacrifice for the sake of the people who are being warred against.

Now a refugee, on the other hand, is one who runs away from the battle, in order to protect himself or his loved ones. When there is no defense against the enemy, often, people are forced to flee. But in fleeing away from the battle, they leave no impact, no defense, for those left in the wake of the raging enemy army.

Often I see parents who raise their children to run away from the cultural battles and to stay far off from those who are lost and broken and who have scars and difficulties. They find it easy to criticize those who are engaged in bringing the light of Christ into the arena of darkness--this is the place in which our family receives criticism.

I will admit that the world can be a very fearful place to be. And I spend a whole lot of time in prayer for my young, idealistic warriors!

But, God has asked me, as a mom,  to live by faith, not to look to the limitations of my own life and this wicked world we live in, but to the God who tells us to overcome evil with good, to remain faithful, to endure.

So, as a mom, I had to ask, "Would He have me do anything less than send my own children, as God sent His own son, into the world to redeem dark places?"

And so when we read in the Psalms,

"Praise be to the LORD my Rock,who trains my hands for war,my fingers for battle.

He is my loving God and my fortress,my stronghold and my deliverer,my shield, in whom I take refuge,

who subdues peoples under me." Psalm 144: 1-2,

we would pray with our children.  "Lord, these are your children created by you with a personality and a purpose. Train our children for the spiritual warfare in which they will engage. Prepare them for the battles they will confront. Be their fortress, their stronghold, deliverer and shield. They are not ours to hold on to, but ours to prepare for your kingdom purposes."

Depending on what you decide, preparing one to run away from the battle or to engage in the battle, will require a very different parenting philosophy.

But as for the Clarksons, we will seek to engage in the battle, and rub shoulders with the lost, because we cannot do other than what our Lord and savior showed us to do--to go into the world to make disciples, to see the multitudes with compassion and to become workers in the Harvest field of the world.

Nathan has chosen to answer the call of God and engage the warrior story that was written on his heart. Recently, he has written a study with the 10 aspects of what it means to become a hero. You can find his book here (available in print or on Amazon).

Becoming A Wise Woman With Wise Words

"Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

"Mama, do you still love me when I make such stupid mistakes?" My sweet one, many years ago,  was curled up on the couch in an almost fetal position, regretting something she has done and condemning herself over and over again for not refraining from the foolish behavior.

"I love you if you had made 10,000 mistakes. I love you because you are mine. I love you even for the mistakes you will make the rest of your life. You are so precious to me, I can hardly refrain from kissing your sweet head a million times right now."

A tiny smile curled her lips. I stroked her hair and told her that God's love became more precious to me each day, because the older I got, the more I sinned, even when I wish I could be good, and the more it made me love Him for His gracious love.

A wise mama give words of life--practices planting seeds of love through the words she aims at the hearts of her children.

Our mother's mothers said it to them, our mothers told us, and we tell our children:

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. While we have heard and said this many times, it is not only true, but biblical.

"Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." -Proverbs 13:3

Excusing our offensive, unsolicited opinions with comments like "no offense" is still offensive, friends. Our culture has made it quite easy and comfortable for us to hide behind computer screens, iPhones, and iPads, offering out our every thought on blogs and social media with no immediate consequences and no tear-filled eyes staring back at us. What a different world we would live in if instead of viewing every thought that runs through our minds as something we are entitled to share, we took every thought captive out of obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Are your words building the kingdom of God, being used as a tool and source of encouragement, and making someone's day? Or are your words causing pain, destruction, and breaking someone's day? Often times, people say "the truth hurts." As women in today's culture, we do have the power and influence to hurt others with our words. However, wise, godly women use their words to bless, to teach truth, to instruct, to encourage, to love, to support, and to nourish the broken.

An amazing tool that we have with the tongue is to speak truth that doesn't hurt. Truth that brings light, joy, and inspiration to those around us. In order for us to be able to teach our children the importance of the impact of our words, we must walk it out ourselves. One of the ways that we allow our frustrations, disappointments, and insecurities to manifest is through negative, cutting words. Through our gossip and breaking others down, we build this unhealthy habit that becomes a cycle. When we make someone else feel small, it makes us feel big for a moment. We live in a generation where gossip, rumors, and lie-filled tabloids are considered normal. Even worse-gossiping & cutting others down has turned into a “bonding experience” for many women. Proverbs 15:2 tells us: "The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness."

We must teach our children that gossip is unacceptable, but before they will accept this value, you must ask yourself:How are you speaking to your children? What words are used in your home? It starts with you.

Proverbs 31 says, "When she speaks, she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly."

I encourage you to have Christlike, blessed conversation this week in your home, and outside your home. Remember that when you speak from a kind, gentle heart, your message is far more likely to be well received and accepted than when you speak out of anger and coldness.

Feel free to share the memory verse below:

To take your study further today, complete the application below in your journal. How do you speak to your children? With a gentle voice? Do you look them in the eye and honor them with your attention? Do you seek to give life when you speak your words? Do you seek to pass on the beauty and love of God with the ways you speak to your husband, children, friends?

Cooking In The Clarkson Home

{Today's article is from my almost-daughter-in-law, Rachael! Nathan and Rachael will be married in less than a month now!}

Getting away from busy Los Angeles where I live and visiting the beautiful Clarkson home in Colorado is always a refreshing escape that I so look forward to. Nathan and I often joke about there being some sort of magic there--as food is constantly just appearing before our eyes!

Living as an adult in Hollywood, it is such a treat to visit such a wonderful home...a place where the aroma of freshly baked cookies fills each room, where I wake up to Kelsey the golden retriever barking, where tea time is a daily necessity, and my soul is filled with laughter and great conversation.

The photo above is one of my favorite memories and moments in time.  Last summer while I was visiting the Clarksons, I was 90% excited and 10% nervous when Miss Sally asked me if I would like to make breakfast for the family in their home. Me? Make breakfast? In your home? Miss Sally's meals are so delicious, I swear they don't just go into your stomach but straight into your soul (I'm not exaggerating-just taste her homemade cinnamon rolls)! While I was absolutely honored, I felt I had a lot to live up to!

Cooking is one of my favorite things to do, and now this 22 year old girl who prepares meals in tiny Hollywood apartments had the opportunity to cook in a big, beautiful, home kitchen. Very quickly, my anxiety disappeared as I was overcome by joy. I also came to realize that Miss Sally and I have very similar cooking styles. We both share a love of whipping up healthy, hearty, home cooked meals. I often tell my fiance, Nathan, that cooking for others is truly one of my love languages. It brings me so much joy to prepare something delicious and beautiful for the people in my life.

Today, I am going to share one of my all-time favorite breakfast recipes with you. It is Clarkson family approved, and Nathan requests that I make this for him often. It has definitely become one of my classic dishes, as I usually make it along with cinnamon rolls for holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. One of my favorite things to do is to find meals that are pleasing to the eye, scrumptious to the taste buds, filling for the tummy, but not time consuming. This recipe is not only delicious, but it cooks quickly and only requires a few ingredients!

Breakfast Cups

Ingredients: 12 eggs 12 thick slices of uncooked turkey bacon 1 cup of shredded sharp cheddar cheese Salt & pepper to taste

Instructions: -Preheat oven to 375 degrees. -Lightly grease a 12-cup cupcake tin. -Cut each slice of bacon in half. Each cupcake tin will have two halves of bacon crisscrossed into an X to hold the rest of your breakfast cup. Place your crisscrossed bacon into every cup. -Evenly distribute your shredded cheese on top of the bacon in each cup, sprinkling lightly. -Crack one egg into each cup. -Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste. {Optional: if you do not like runny, over-easy eggs, simply swap the egg and the cheese by putting the cheese on TOP. This will make a fully cooked egg.} -Bake in the oven about 15-20 minutes, or until your eggs are cooked to your liking.

This is a super easy, fun recipe that is perfect for busy Saturday mornings when you just want to feed everyone in your home, if you have guests, holidays, or any occasion!

Nathan, my Clarkson connection, and I can't wait to start our history together on March 1! We would cherish your prayers for us as we seek to follow Him in our lives and through the story we live together!

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I am so excited and honored to have the opportunity to speak this weekend at the Mom Heart conference in Irvine, CA and am really looking forward to meeting some of you! My passion is to inspire young women to create an identity based on who God says we are! I can't wait to share some of my Hollywood stories and what God has placed on my heart. I will also be sharing about my newest book, Identity Girls. 

Identity Girls is a 30 day devotional to teach each of us how to define ourselves as the young women we were so uniquely designed to be. This is not just a devotional for the insecure, for the hurting, for the flawed...but if it were, this would still be a devotional for each and every one of us. As women, we need to be encouraged, inspired, and reminded of who we were created by God to be...women of influence. Each day of Identity Girls has a notes section where you can journal your thoughts, jot down your new goals, and personalize your own prayers.

If there is a young woman in your life who is embarking on her own unique journey, be a source of encouragement in her life today. Surprise her with her very own copy of Identity Girls, and inspire her to fully understand who she was designed to be.

For more on Rachael, check out her blog for young women at:

www.rachaelleeclarkson.com

Click the "add to cart" button below to begin your journey.

XOXO, Rachael Lee {almost Clarkson}

God's Voice has Always Led me to pursue a different path-- The opposite direction from the World.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

(On a hike this fall in the Austrian woods--2 roads diverging......and I took the one less traveled by, from experience.)

"But Peter and the apostles answered, "We must obey God rather than men." Acts 5:29

A cheap hotel room did not offer haven or beauty.Yet, it held me, a sacred sanctuary  as I shyly approached the throne of God amidst worn, shag carpet, a faded utilitarian  bedspread, holding my bowed head.  On my knees, at 22, I  had gone away for my first 24 hours alone with the Lord, I sincelerly poured my child-like heart  and gave Him all the rights to my life.

"I love you. Use me. Show me how to live for you and your kingdom--I come as a willing student and want to know you and your ways."

Philippians 3: 8- 11 became my innocent heart's cry, along with Paul: "More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,  for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,  that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death."

This was a come to Jesus meeting between me and Him--understanding that knowing Him would become the goal of my life--and that I was giving all things into His hands--my life, goals, paths, relationships, expectations, ministry, hopes and dreams--they were placed into His hands and so began my life-long pursuit of Him--the treasure of my life. I am not super-spiritual type,  but more of a Peter, passionate and committed, often, just quite flawed in my perceptions and insights .

Yet, understanding this always gave me a place to go--that my lifetime goal was to know Him and love Him. Through the years, I would find mystery: "I don't know why this is happening." or "I don't feel qualified to handle this, God." But--I gave my life into your hands and so I will follow you where you lead and seek to understand Jesus more from every circumstance, at every turn in my road where you lead. And please know I long to glorify you."--this has made all the difference in my life. Every step became a point of looking to learn, to know, to worship.

 As a young, naive, in-experienced woman, I had no concept of what this commitment would cost me or where it would lead me. The trials and battle I would face, would at times totally overwhelm me, as I had not trained to be a warrior for righteousness, and I did not know how much it would cost. And yet, my life was owned by Him, so I followed and obeyed and sought His ways, because a commitment between me and Jesus had been made.

God whispered, "Raise the children I gave you for my glory. Disciple them to go back into the world for my kingdom." And so through this knowledge, I home-schooled so I could spend all of my time with them, to cultivate their hearts, minds, manners and souls for His glory and to be a good steward of the lives He entrusted to me. It was what He called Clay and me to do, against all the advice of those in our circles.

Take a risk, have one more child. Even in the midst of 3 miscarriages, one in which I almost died, I had my 4th child at age 42, against the voices of those who thought this extreme--and who meant well, but they had not heard God speak to me in my quiet time. Children are a blessing, the fruit of the womb is a reward, and so at early mid-life, he blessed me with one more little girl, who has brought me so much Joy--pun intended.

God led us to disciple, through grace, a foundation of love and building character. Love is the foundation of your influence, he whispered.

"You aren't spanking enough," the voices whispered. You will ruin your children.

You aren't being the parent who stands on top of your children. Bowing your knee to serve them will give them a rebellious heart and they will get away manipulate you and become rebellious."

But Jesus' example was to love sacrificially and to give up his time in heaven to live, love, teach and serve his own disciples--and so we followed His ways.

And then, God led us to send our children back into the world to bring His kingdom work in very secular places, where the world was dark. New York City Film Academy; Berklee school of music in Boston, Oxford, Cambridge, Hollywood. College at 17, over 1000 miles away from home.

"Your children are going to fall in such dark, lost cultures. I can't believe you would let them go there without your supervision."

The voices kept haunting us through all of our years. And yet, we followed Jesus--he had said, "Father, I do not pray that you take them out of the world, but keep them from the evil one." And so we served them, instructed them, trained them, loved them with our whole heart and passed on a personal vision from our own lives to them as best we could, that God had especially chosen them to bring His light to the world-that they were designed to live a story of significance.

But along the way, Jesus whispered, "The world is a hard place--Have fun, and learn to memorialize joyful moments and  life. Honor the beauty and pleasure of  my world. Teach your children to dance and celebrate life--because I made them a beautiful world to experience, so they would know more of my character and grace for them. Don't live by someone else's law--live as a child, secure in her Father's love."

We started dinner groups, took trips international and at home, read and discussed every day, all the time, had our children serve by our side--because that is what Jesus did--He was "with" His disciples every day and taught them to serve alongside Him. And so we lived as a family with freedom, music, feasting and learned to be ourselves, in spite of the criticism or whispers of others who were afraid to live in His pleasure.

Because Jesus celebrated and made new wine when He ushered in His coming with a wedding feast--a joyful party. And He promised to come back and take us to a new feast in heaven. We had to follow the feasting, artist God, and learned to live life well.

And when we were criticized and pushed away from some circles of those who followed harsher laws than we had been led to obey, we forgave, practiced love, and extended grace--because, Jesus, while being reviled, did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God who judges righteously. (I Peter 2: 23) And so we practiced and practiced and practiced forgiveness--mainly to other "Christians" who were the ones more difficult for us in our lives.

And when we were in darkest of dark times, we kept still and waited. Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you. In this world you have tribulation, but I have overcome the world. Be still and know that I am God." And he said in Psalm 139, that "even darkness was not dark to Him"--so we trusted through our tears, that He could see even if we couldn't. He told us to trust Him, so we practiced.

And we loved wildly, deeply, generously through all of our mistakes, because Jesus said that all the laws and prophets could be summed up by "Loving God with all our heart, and loving our neighbor as ourselves."

And so like Peter, we remembered that "love covered a multitude of sins." And we lived for His kingdom--the one that will come, not the one that is here--because Jesus said, "Seek first the Kingdom of God."

And now, as we look back on our lives, we are so very grateful that His voice led us--because the fruit of our life in following Him has been so very sweet. He is good, He is kind, He is loving and He has guided us all these years. His voice can be trusted. His ways are sure--and in the end, all of us are more suited for heaven, because of His sanctifying hand, where we will be with Him forever at the marriage feast of the Lamb and us, His bride..

Knowing Jesus and following Him--the best and most blessed wisdom, and worship, we ever could have learned.

(A sunset that Jesus painted in the sky for Joy and me just, recently as we walked together on the beach in California,

for our pleasure and all who would see His fingerprints.......)

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Watch the video below to hear of a new book about  living an idealistic life., written by my friend, Tsh Oxenrieder.

Today, I am giving 3 away 3 copies of Tsh's new book!

And, because it also calls mamas to set up their ideals, to win their children, I am giving 3 copies of 10 Gifts!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway