When loving someone is hard! No one sees me, I am lost......

Jan Verhas

Precious is the innocent moment when a tiny child, confidently proclaims, "I'll bet you can't find me," while his feet or body are conspicuously sticking out in a very openly exposed place. But, we pretend, for the sake of the child's innocent heart, that we cannot see him and we say, "Where could Johnny be? I can't find hin anywhere?"

We allow him to play at being real, and honor his developing ability to interact with life.

Snickers and giggles abound as we look high and low while so very near to the beloved child.

And so, in comparison to God's transcendence, He allows us, as mere toddlers,  to play at life and seek to grow and explore and exercise our limited human authority to bring about our goals and purposes in life and to expound on our own prowess. But sometimes, He knows, our lives will come crashing against conflict, difficulty, brokenness in this fallen world And He has planned to be there to walk each step through the dark, mysterious times when we simply do not have black and white answers.

As our divine parent, He knows, at times, we will be broken hearted and He sees us  cry and is sad when we hurt and His loving arms extend His love and grace to cover these places where we cannot bring wholeness. It hurts to feel lost and to be sad in this, the broken place. God knows this is not the place where we will ever find perfection, completeness or where our hearts or desires will be perfectly fulfilled or complete. We were made to love--yet some relationships will never be whole in this world. We were created for wholeness, but sometimes human frailty and weakness and fear and lack of trust break relationships. We cannot control the behavior or responses of others, but we can depend on God's response of love and compassion to us, His children.

Hebrews tells us that Jesus was tempted in all the ways that we were tempted. He is a God who can sympathize with our weaknesses, because He lived subject to the darkness of the world He entered. It was his own people who rejected Him--His love, His truth. His leaders--the Pharisees, the ones who most studied His words, were the deceived ones--those who sincerely thought they were following God, but in reality were caught in their own rules of religion. It was a form of religion without the heart.

And so sometimes, we weak humans are subject to the same kinds of broken relationships.  There are times when love must be firm-not giving in to compromise and at this time, separation happens. Other times love is not reciprocated or equal or is rejected. There are times when God, because He wants to sanctify me in my own life--to make me more like Jesus, has to say no, has to discipline. He disciplines that we might grow, and share in His holiness.

And sometimes us loving others means a separation even as Jesus felt separation from those He wanted to redeem.

He patiently leads, guides, comforts  and attends to us as we slowly mature and gain perspective and wisdom of how to be shrewd as serpents but innocent as doves. But when we are lost and feel alone,  God is never lost and we are never lost to him. He always sees us wherever we think we are hiding or in the dark.

"Where can I go from thy spirit or where can I flee from thy presence? Even the darkness is not dark to thee and the night is as bright as the day." Psalm 139

*****************************

Eyes wide, glancing out from a weakly attempted smile, my dear friend was making a noble attempt to greet me with a cheerful heart. Cherished time with friends far away is a gift indeed.

Embracing her in a round body caress, I whispered, "You are so very dear to me and to our precious Lord. He loves you more than you will ever know. He sees you, He is with you and He will hold you and guide you."

Tears filled and burst over her dark black eyelashes as she whispered,

"I feel so lost. I can't find my old self anymore. I don't know how to come back to the light."

"You feel lost, I said, but God is not lost and He has not lost you. Just wait and be still and in time the light will come gently pouring into your heart," my voice whispered with as much love as I could pour into her darkness.

God's ways are always best and bring health, joy, beauty and real life--eventually. He shares our grief, frustrations and grieves with us in our broken hearts.  However, as a loving Father, He must interfere with our own limited expectations of how we falsely believe that we can find true joy and happiness in this world if we just try to control it enough.  But I have had to learn that  I am a toddler who has so little perspective, think I am hidden, or perhaps at times, in fear of being lost, can pretend and play and at times, pour out tears of sorrow at the difficulties and barriers He allows in my life.  We are all  immature, short sighted and limited,  being held fast by this earth, that God has to pry our hands free from our strong clutches on this world, to force us to look more heavenly and more astutely towards eternity where we will live forever and ever in His true light.

We may feel lost. He is never lost or has lost control over us.

"I am with you always, even unto the end of the earth."

Until we close our eyes here and awaken into His lovely presence.

Rest in this. You are seen. You are loved. You will never be alone.

Oh the need for Grace Every Day!

Dear Lord, So far I've done all right. I haven't gossipped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that.

But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm going to need a lot more help."

Ever felt like praying this prayer? I have! A candle, cup of tea and my Bible get me started off right. I've laid my burdens at Jesus' feet. I've read His words and they have ministered to my heart. I've worshiped Him. I have asked Him to change me, to help me grow, to bless my family and lead them. I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful day, and all is well with the world.

And then I get out of the chair.

And sometimes, it feels as if all is downhill from there!

Wouldn't motherhood, wifehood, even Christianity be much easier ... if there weren't any other people involved? But I suppose then we have the problem alluded to in that scene from It's a Wonderful Life, when the family's help says, "That (the noise happening upstairs) is why all children should be girls!" and then the elder Mrs. Bailey says, "But if they were all girls--oh, never mind!"

God loves relationships. He, Himself, exists as a relationship--Father, Son and Spirit, three in One--a mystery we can't wrap our minds around. We bear His image, and part of that is this need we have for relationships; to know and be known, to love well, to draw strength and learn from one another. Yet relationships are not easy. Sinful people, living together in a broken world, sometimes hurt one another. We misunderstand and are misunderstood. We struggle with pride and envy, greed and deceit. So do those around us--and our children are no exception.

We need God's grace.

"Giving the gift of grace to our children is actually a two-part process. First, we need to help our children receive grace. We do this both by extending grace to them and by teaching them about God's grace through salvation. After that, by our teaching and example, we must train our children to give grace to others in turn.

Jesus summed up this two-part process when He was asked to name the greatest commandment. He said we are first to love the Lord God with all our hearts (receiving grace) and then we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (giving grace). This commandment, therefore, sums up the first gift we can give to our children--the desire and ability to understand and receive the grace of God and to give it to the rest of the world.

Understanding the importance of the gift of grace has really helped me respond to the daily dilemmas and frustrations of life in a household of four children. As we go through our days, for instance, I try to be mindful that, to God, relationships are always a top priority. I try to think of ways I can model for my children the redemptive grace and love of Jesus--and also influence them to extend grace to others through their actions and their attitudes." ~ The Ministry of Motherhood

We will always be pressed by our relationships. My prayer is that they press us all closer to the heart of God, Who loves to extend His grace to us, and teaches us through His example to do the same.

***************************************************************

Thanks for everyone who attended and left such sweet notes of encouragement. A number of you have asked if you can still register for tonight's 2nd half of the e-conference. Yes, the price will be the same for today. You can watch the live part, second half of the conference and then you will receive the pdf, posters and access to watch the whole conference including the first half from tonight after the conference is over. Hope that answers your questions.

Register Here:

Own Your Authority! Live into a great story! Loving is our Kingdom work!

In November of 2013, I had the privilege of visiting West Minster Abbey in London to attend a conference about the life of C.S. Lewis. How inspiring it was to understand that he was not just an incredible writer with transforming messages that inspired people all over the world. He was also one of the most generous, serving, humble, compassionate, loving men in his generation.

During World War II, he invited young children to live in His home, away from the bombings in London. He cared for the mother and daughter of a friend of his who died in World War I for many years. He gave away a great deal of the money he earned from writing and speaking. He shared Christ, loved friends dearly and lived as fully into Kingdom work as he possibly could.

Each of us has a story to live and people who are sprinkled in our lives that we may influence and love in the name of Christ. But we must choose to share our faith, our earthly goods, our focussed time and our love freely. I was a lonely freshman in college living on the tenth floor of a dormitory. To my friends, I looked normal, content. But inside, I was praying that if there was a God in the universe, He would send someone to me to tell me about Himself. Sure enough, a shy girl knocked on my dorm door, and because of her, I became a Christian and have served Christ in full time ministry for 40 years--because she loved Jesus enough to take a risk to tell me about him. Because of her, I have written 9 Christian books in 10 languages, spoken to thousands and thousands of people about Christ--and all because she knocked on my door, became my friend and told me of His great love. His love changes lives and everyone you know was made to know and experience this redeeming love--even if they do not "look the type" as my friend told me one day---you just didn't look like someone who would be interested in Christianity!

Jesus will ask us how we whispered the wonderful message of His love to those He brought into our lives--to our neighbors, co-workers, to our children. I have spent many years seeking to help parents learn how to share God's love, His character, His wisdom to the lives of their children so that they will continue to serve Him through out their whole adult lives.

You never know how that one act of obedience might invite someone into the kingdom of God who might become a great teacher, a strong leader who uses his or her Christianity to influence the whole world. What if one of your children is destined by God to become a leader in his generation for the Kingdom of God? The way you invest in the life of your children may be the most important kingdom work you ever accomplish. Perhaps you are single--there are so many single adults longing for a place to find community and love. (My single adult children find this all the time in their own lives and ministry.) Perhaps you have a sick relative--the way you share love at the hospital or in schools--will become a transforming message as you extend the love of God wherever you go.

I made a little video for you today to share with you about the amazing theme of this week's chapter. Loving is our kingdom work!

Also,

Come Join me for Summer Inspiration and a wonderful time of fellowship with moms all over the world.

I am soooo excited to be hosting a Live 10 Gifts e-conference Monday night and Tuesday night. I love seeing the names of women from all over the world pop up on my screen when we do the videos. Finally we have a way to encourage women all over the world without them having to attend our conferences live.

My passion for wanting to train parents and especially moms to raise a godly generation seems to grow with each day! This eternal work of shaping souls, inspiring a vision, shaping a strong moral character, is some of the most important Kingdom work any of us will ever do. Moms are the civilizers who have literally shaped history when they took the time and gave their heart to investing in their children to give them a living faith.

Join me as I give 4 one hour talks about how to plan, implement and train your children in 10 basic areas of wisdom to prepare them to be strong as they move from your home into adulthood. This conference will give vision to young moms just beginning to shape their plan for loving and training their children. I think it will also be a refresher course for moms still in the trenches of training and discipling older children.

If you are not able to attend live, you can still register and you will receive the pdf outlines for the talks, a link to the video lectures as well as 10 beautiful downloadable posters you can print out for each of the 10 gifts!

Go HERE to Register:

Please spread the news to your friends on facebook and twitter tell them about our wonderful conference. We shall change history together as we seek God’s blessing, wisdom and favor for raising our children for His glory!

What a great week. God bless yours.

You Gotta Laugh or you will die!

Do you ever feel this way? I often do--still do! This made me giggle. As a break every day, at lunch or at nights when we have all fallen to exhaustion from all of our work, we have been watching the 4th season of Downton Abby. This woman reminds me so much of my family--my mama had the big, bulging blue eyes--and I actually think she, (The Dowager)  is so very clever.

When I first had Sarah, my first child, I absolutely fell in love with her because I had waited so long to get married and then to have a child. But I distinctly remember one Friday thinking, "Oh no, children are never going to go away on the weekend!" After being single for a very long time, and then living and traveling in Europe, I had gotten accustomed to lots of stimulation, interesting life and was not at all prepared to be a mom.

That Friday night was such an "ahhha" moment. It was a realization that my life was changed forever. I love love time alone and sometimes almost gasped for breath when I felt suffocated by the on and on-ness of it. I had few support systems--moved 17 times, 6 times internationally, and so longed for a break--which was rare. But even now, I am realizing, like the Dowager commented--parenting is on and on and on!

And actually, children may feel the same way if they are in a "too serious" or "angry" house. All of us need some fun and variety mixed in to our days. And I am convinced that if Jesus made colors, puppies, humor and laughter, and the desire to wiggle and sway when we hear music, we were made to have pleasure amidst the serious. So today is a day to lighten up.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is the ability to celebrate life, to "shake it up" and to create fun and memories as an expectation of life.  Giving this gift means we will have children who have learned to love to laugh, love to play, love to make their own family traditions. Giving them the delight of celebrating life and people and making parties when needed will give our children the ability to practice enjoyment when they need to remember that God is good, the source of all good things and pleasure--and to give them hope when they need a lift or distraction.

We have had lots and lots of serious times in our family this summer--maybe I should add lots of very responsible times as it seems everyone is working on a deadline or project (Sarah-- a book and website and lots and lots of paper work for a possible future project--Joel finishing up a couple of film scoring projects and the orchestration for a 175 page piece; Joy summer school and work and me a gazillion writing projects, blogs and keeping everyone fed and straight, Clay a book and Nathan his movie, Rachael books, assisting me, and her own blog.) and everyone is in the midst of trying to figure money out and three of the kids are home for the whole summer (Nathan and Rachael were just here for 8 days) and so the family discussions, messes, ideals, moods just go on and on and on. Sometimes--many times--these kids just wear me out. And I in the midst of the book deadline and blogs and ministry and life have been a little weary for days on end. Though the weariness is mixed with great pleasure amidst all the diverse moments.

Joy and me on our walk tonight!

So, I have instituted one of my old traditions back into my schedule and theirs--taking each child out alone for some kind of meal (coffee, tea, chai or breakfast or lunch) often with a long walk accompanying it. I love to walk and walk and walk--especially when it is beautiful outside. It really helps me with my adrenalin and impatience to get out and walk amongst the flowers, mountains, and gardens of my neighbors. So fun to get my children alone!

Tonight, every one was gone and Joy and I jumped in the car and drove down to a new cafe we had heard about. (The Skirted Heifer--an organic and natural hamburger cafe we just heard about. And oh oh oh--it was so very delicious. We split one so we wouldn't feel quite so guilty--and the fries are amazing!)

Afterwards, we drove to a close-by street of Victorian Houses and took a walk in the dusk where lots of people were sitting on their front porches having dinner and swinging on the porch swings. I love walking with the kids--we do it near our home almost every night of summer. Walking outdoors opens hearts--jokes are shared, sunsets admired, thoughts and dreams for the whole day.

As we were chatting and walking and breathing in the wonderful cool night and evening lights, we came upon a young mom, two children and two other women---She looked and me, gasped, and said, "I can't believe it!" Ends up that she is a missionary in India and reads my books and blog  every day--so much fun. A God ordained moment of encouragement for her and for me! And we met several others--a darling dog and owner, and heard about a new coffee shop and ended up having lots of fun.

We rocked to her play lists of music all the way home and were so much happier from a night away by the time we arrived home in the darkness and coolness of the mountain evening.

What are you planning/doing for a break amidst the serious or mundane this summer? What are some of your ideas for all ages?

I will be talking about some of the things our family did through the seasons to celebrate life, make memories and to have fun  at the e-conference.

Some questions I keep getting about the e-conference: Register Here

Can I watch it later if I am busy on Monday or Tuesday night? Yes--Monday and Tuesday are fun because being together with women all over the world all at once is lots of fun. But so many are on vacation now, I know many who normally attend our conferences will miss it. You can purchase it and download the video and pdf notes any time to enjoy at your leisure. The cost goes up a little after the conference is taped because there is more admin to take care of after the fact and I hire someone to do all the correspondence.

Why are you doing these e-conferences and why do they cost? We have had literally hundreds of women every year ask us if we can do some conferences in their areas. The cost and time commitment is prohibitive for us, so we are attempting to do conferences online. We pay a company to host it, someone to administrate it, and then have 3 more bills with distribution and emails after the conference is over, so the cost helps pay these bills. We also are seeking to do leadership trainings all over the world, which we do as a ministry. The money from the conferences is helping us to open new areas of ministry and to pay for more help for me personally, as I cannot keep up with all the growth of our ministry and am being helped by some amazing, sweet women. Thanks for helping me to be able to keep going in writing by having paid assistance.

Is the material different from that in the book? Does it apply to all ages? Lots and lots of extra inspiration comes with me to the conferences--and the plan encourages moms of all ages to keep their vision and role as a mom and mentor clearly in their minds--no matter what age. I will not have time to do this in the fall, so we decided to take a chance and do it now before I start traveling again.

Please tell your friends about it--if you know some mamas who need encouragement. Share on Facebook, twitter and emails--as we keep finding moms who feel alone but have connected with new moms at these conferences. Lots of moms get together and watch as a group. Many have had their husbands join--we love hearing all the stories! Please do not share the links with friends who have not purchased, as this is all copy righted material and you help us support our ministry when you register. We are most grateful.

Cultivating A Culture Of Family Love: Love That Lasts A Lifetime

 

Sarah and Joy, a reunion at the airport 2 years ago--they belong to each other and give each other strength

Each of us has a deep longing to be loved, to have our lives validated, to know that we matter and have a purpose--a place to belong. It is a longing in our hearts because God put it there. Yet, mature love that grows and gives is something that has to be nurtured and trained. Unconditional love is not common to all families because it takes a lot of work--and often it is the heart or relationships that is neglected. Anger is allowed to fester, blame is a constant habit, and loneliness and neglect of people's needs create more anger and depression.

So many moms write to me and say, "My kids fight all the time--they are so selfish, they run over me!" as though this is unusual. Truth is, we are all selfish, self-absorbed, petty and shallow by nature--sinful nature, that is! All of us are seemingly surrounded at times with conflict from egos running into each other. No family is immune. But for families to grow in grace and to learn to become mature in love is something that is trained, practiced, instructed and developed over a long period of time.

Family is supposed to give roots, strength, security, stability and direction--but this only happens where moms do the hard work of training, correcting, modeling and enduring years of immaturity as children grow through all the stages of childhood.

God also gave mothers the ability to build a strong  home culture,, so that these deep needs would be met. Proverbs--the whole Bible--is filled with wisdom about relationships. If this wisdom is neglected or ignored, families  and individuals will become unhealthy and exhibit the fruit of their untrained or immature hearts.

Building an environment of love, grace, belonging, so that each child who is welcomed into her home, will provide a well spring in their hearts that says, "I have a history. I am a Clarkson (or Smith, or Martinez, or Krasaski), and we love each other, we belong to each other, we will always have stability because we are a part of this family and circle of love, spiritual strength and grace."

Shaping a Family culture like this takes time and intention and does not just happen by chance.

A child who is given a place to build roots, foundations of moral strength, affection and unconditional love and forgiveness, a safe haven in which to grow, will carry stability in their souls their whole lives and will find strength to face the trials of life and the challenges.

This summer, I had the privilege of having all of our kids home together for 8 days. (Clay and I fly everyone home 3 times a year to be together because we want to continue to cultivate, honor and develop deeper relationships.) This kind of intentionality and planning is part of what has built a family strength.

It is so very precious to hear my children sharing deeply, playing basketball, going for long walks, watching movies together while munching popcorn--and say over and over again--"These are my best friends. I don't know what I would do without our family."

As adults, my children have chosen very challenging arenas in which to bring the light of Christ--Hollywood, Oxford, New York--and these places can be quite lonely for a young Christian seeking to hold fast to ideals. Yet, part of the strength they hold fast to, are the strong bonds of loyalty, a sense of self by belonging to each other, and a refreshment to be together to remember what the Clarksons are all about.

Joy got her very first brand new bed set for her 19th birthday this summer--2 single beds. Yet, the sweetest thing is that Sarah and Joy have slept together in her bedroom every night they have been home together, because they have become such chums--even though 11 years apart.

Yet, personality differences, friction, age differences, bickering and selfishness have all had to be trained away, one day at a time, for them to reach this kind of friendship. Still all of us are in process. And even when everyone is home together, now, I know we will have a couple of family fusses---but the desire for peace is so strong, because we all need each other, that grace covers fusses and love binds our hearts together. But where there is no vision or training towards love, there will be no peace or maturity. It is a seed that must be planted, watered, cultivated. The weeds of sin must be cleared on a regular basis.

I have always said to my children, "It is natural, fleshly, carnal to argue and to be petty. It is supernatural to extend love to live in the grace of accepting each other's flaws."

I will never, ever be loving on my own. Anger, impatience, criticism is all a natural response to irritating people--especially those in my home. It is only the Spirit living through me that will stretch me and my children toward deep, abiding love.  I have learned to say, "Lord, I am so irritated right now. Would you please love through me--I bow my knee in my heart recognizing my need for you and I will choose to love and be patient. Love through me."As a mama, I felt I had to continually be a model of what I wanted my children to live--and I will not be perfect in this until I look into the eyes of Jesus, after I have left this world.

How is this developed? Through personal time, correction, forgiveness, grace, serving---all very intentional goals. Love does not grow without a plan.

Parents would rather occupy their children's time, give them experiences or more "things" just to buy themselves free time and to pacify their children. However, a child can be given all the experiences or "things" the world has to offer, but if his soul is starving or empty or filled with the anger of rejection or even passivity, which communicates worthlessness to him, will have difficulty filling this cavernous hole the rest of his life. When children feel empty, they will look for love and validation in all the wrong places. 

A mother's love and legacy is one of the most powerful influences in the world and will indeed determine the strength and history of our future culture. But to provide such a work in the lives of children, requires a choice.

The choice is to serve, give, train, instruct, provide, encourage and this choice will have eternal consequences because the souls of the children raised in such a home will be strong, beautiful, spiritual, healthy and formed. Choices have consequences.

Here is a passage our family has memorized and continues to uphold as the foundation of relationships. Romans  12:9-21 (As a matter of fact, we are re-memorizing it this summer and reviewing it a little bit at at time--and again--it is transforming our lives.)

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

I hope you will join me as I discuss how to Create a legacy of Love in your own family at the 10 Gifts E-conference next Monday and Tuesday night. We will have 4 distinct talks over 2 nights--and a time of q&a each evening. Have your husband join you for some of the talks--as it will give you some interesting things to discuss. Register HERE. (You can purchase the conference ahead of time and watch it later--if you cannot be there live. The price goes up after the conference is over, as I have to hire a manager to keep track of all the admin when new orders come in.)

The winners are:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You can buy the book on Amazon: HERE for Kindle or HERE for Print.

Living Strong: It all starts with your view of God

Michelangelo--God at creation

Starting with the right foundations

If there was one legacy I wish I could leave to other women, it would be to help them think more Biblically. When a woman knows scripture--the whole counsel of scripture, not just verses here and there taken out of context-- gaining a Biblical understanding from Genesis to Revelation, then she has more confidence and ease in her walk with God. (It is also why I hope to give a good bit of my life in the next years to our leadership intensives, training conferences online, where women will learn a little of Biblical instruction, foundations, prayer, Bible study--to follow God in our lives as we serve and love Him. I love teaching women how to teach and live God in such a way in front of their children, that their children embrace a vibrant faith.  More on that later this month.)

God makes it clear throughout scripture that his priority for us is to know Him and love Him with our whole heart and mind.

"Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, let not a rich man boast of his riches, let not a mighty man boast of his might, but let him who boasts, boast of this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness and righteousness on the earth for I delight in these things." Jeremiah 9: 23-24

And, "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." Psalm 127

And so the starting point for any arena in our lives must be God--our worship of Him and knowledge of Him and obedience--a heart that wants to please God.

So, let me begin by  praying  for all who read this today. "Lord, I pray that each one who reads these blog articles will be led by you. I pray you will provide them with insight, skill, love, wisdom and the understanding of what it means to be filled with your Spirit and to walk by faith in this journey of motherhood. And bless them with strength, joy and a sense of affirmation in their great calling as parents. I come to you in the precious name of Jesus. Amen"

A part of knowing and trusting God is to understand and embrace that He knows our circumstances, He sees us, He is able to redeem every single situation and can restore health to our weak, exhausted or damaged lives.

I love the verse for today, "‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. "

A part of us living joyfully with God in the midst of our circumstances is embracing this truth--He has "plans for our welfare"--He has our best in mind. "not for calamity--but to give you a future and a hope."

Right now, where all of us are--there is hope for a better future if we allow Him to guide our lives.

Romans  8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Often we are tempted to say:

It is too late. I have already messed up my children." "I am scarred by the decisions I have made." "I can't even imagine how God can redeem my life right now, or my circumstances."

When I gave my life to the Lord, almost immediately and for the next 12 years, my life became very hard--illness in my family, a divorce in my family, problems in my personal life, problems in the ministry, loneliness as a single woman, difficulties with work, finances--2 car wrecks, a church split, immoral leaders in our church, and on and on. Throughout some of this time, I thought, "God, do you care about me? I can't believe that I have loved you so much and you have allowed all of this to happen."

Yet, now, I look back and see that, because God was a great parent to me. He did not pay attention to my immature toddler whining, because He had my best in mind. He wanted me to grow stronger, more compassionate, more full of faith, more loving and patient. His allowing the difficult circumstances in my life helped to take away all of the false hopes I was depending on to be happy. His way of leading me led me to freedom and maturity and in the end more contentedness.

God is the God of second chances and His whole nature is to love and redeem. So, know that He is in your home, He sees you, hears your cry and may just be working great things--even if you can't see or understand how. He favors those who seek Him and obey Him and He is a God of compassion and will work in and through your life.

(Even as a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. Psalm 103: 13)

Once my little girl was having a grand time eating a huge bag of potato chips she had found in our cupboard. When I had to take the chips away from her so that she would not get a stomach ache, she fell down on the floor and sobbed as though I had been mean to her! But, as her mother, I knew what was best. I ignored her crying and took her in my arms and held her and sang to her in a rocking chair until she settled down.

But a part of our submitting to God and experiencing His love and care is in releasing our expectations of life into His hands and trusting Him even when we cannot easily feel or see Him.

It all starts with your view of God--if you choose to believe that He is loving, you will face your circumstances with courage, patience, faith. But if you just want Him to do your will your way--you may find life disappointing. He is all wise and knows just how to turn every part of our life puzzle into good, or wisdom or redemption--if we trust all of the details of our lives into His hands--and trust what His word teaches us.

Ultimately, so much of what I lived and what I know to be true, I learned by reading scripture, pondering it, studying it, seeking to really know God and walking with Him. Pondering Christ, who is the perfect reflection of God, according to Hebrews 1.

Women will go the way of their church culture, media culture, family culture, peer culture--they will follow whoever is leading, unless they have developed their own convictions. We will listen to other voices if we have not learned to discern the voice of God.

The problem with this kind of approach is that it leads to whims, to whatever way the cultural wind is blowing.

And so, God, our heavenly Father, wants us to climb into His arms, to surrender all of ourselves into His capable hands. I love this verse that speaks so generously of how tender God's love is for us: ""As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you." Isaiah 66:13

God even compares himself to a mother who holds, cherishes and comforts His child.

Today, remember that His plans for you are for your welfare. He loves you and is bigger than any difficulty you face. He understands all of your ways, and He longs to give you hope and blessing.

Join me in the 10 Gifts e-conference next week as I speak of passing on faith and godliness in practical ways to your children--and how to live faithfully each day in your home!

Be sure to enter to win a ticket today, as the giveaway ends tonight!

Find out who the winners were on Good Morning Girls by going HERE. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Excellence of Character is Trained by Intention and Practice--A Giveaway and Summer Inspration!

(We have 10 more printable posters like the one above for each of you who are able to attend the 10 Gifts E-conference on July 14&15 as a gift to each one who attends.)

Training a Godly Generation in our own homes!

In a landscape of mediocrity and moral compromise amongst Christian leaders, there is such a need for heroes to emerge into the culture. Heroes are those whose character is exceptional. A heroe's character is formed by years of instruction, training, practice by someone who is qualified to give vision for the need for a life built on an excellent foundation and to ensure practice of such attributes.

Mothers are crafted by God to be those who are the shapers, trainers and instructors of these excellent attributes in the lives of their children. Training a child to become wise in life--to learn how to live with wisdom informing their every decision, giving them guidance that will help the make good decisions, the endurance in difficult times and the desire to be uncompromising in ideals is one of the highest callings God designed for mothers to embrace.

One of the truest and deepest satisfactions of my own life has been in investing years in the lives of my children and seeing them respond and flourish as adults in their world. So many years, I couldn't tell if my training was making any difference. The years of training to excellence are long, yet, the end result is so very satisfying to a mamas soul. The best book I have written is the story my children are living out now in their adult lives. To have the blessing of shaping souls is intrinsic to the very meaningful role of motherhood.

Many women have lost the vision for the importance of giving their children a foundation of excellence through training, developing habits of integrity and diligence. It is my hope that The Ten Gifts of Wisdom e-conference will focus on bringing inspiration, and giving clear goals to help women know just how to build this strong moral character and integrity into the very heart and soul of children in her home. I love to mentor moms on the journey of motherhood, as shaping the souls of the next generation is a part of passing on righteousness and faith in each generation. My passion in this area has been growing stronger and stronger this summer as I have spent so much time with my own children and hear them speak of what they are finding in the market place, as well as hearing from so many young moms who long to be mentored.

We have been attempting to host online conferences to the many of you who have asked us to make our mom's conferences more available to those who are not able to attend our yearly gatherings.

A Giveaway for the Readers of Itakejoy.com

I did not want to leave my own audience at itakejoy without the opportunity to win a free ticket to the 10 Gifts e-conference next week. I hope many of you will join me as I talk about developing a plan in your own home of raising such heroes of excellence for the next generation.  I will be giving away 10 tickets to this conference. To enter the giveaway, help me spread the word to other moms who long for encouragement and to renew their vision. It will be a grand couple of nights.

For those of you who are not able to participate live in the conference, you will be able to view the conference, download the pdf and also down load the 10 printable posters we have prepared for all 10 Gifts and listen to it at your leisure!

The host we are using for this has set limits of how many we can accept, so be sure to register early if you desire to attend live. If you win one of the giveaways, we will refund your ticket.

For information about the conference and the registration page, go HERE

Be sure to enter soon, as the giveaway is just over in a little more than 24 hours! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Amazing Salad for Pot Luck Grill Parties! Happy 4th!

This year, chilling and easing into our 4th. Tonight, movie night and chocolate chip chocolate ice cream with choc chip bars, Pizza and a bund of friends over the watch a movie. Tomorrow--sleep in this year. Older kids prefer bed to parades.

Grilling with friends and a BIG potluck bargeque--and since Colorado prohibits fire works, we have a fun, adventure patriotic spy movie planned when it gets dark.

Hope you have a great 4th of July with family or friends. Remember to say a prayer for our wonderful armed forces who sacrifice so much for us!

May God truly see our gratefulness that He has allowed so much freedom and grace to us in our beloved country and may He preserve our freedom to worship and educate our children as we desire. May you have a blessed and safe holiday weekend.

This is a simple, but beautiful salad that is a real crowd pleaser. I love salads at almost every meal. Somehow, it even seems more special when it is pretty, too.

A sweet friend brought this to my home recently and all of us ooohed and ahhed because just seeing it made it taste oh so much better.

I will call it the 4th of July Special!

Pick salad greens, lettuces or spinach to place on bottom of a large salad bowl.

Then hand place chopped vegetables around the center. Add olives to center.

Chopped:

egg yellow peppers

green onion greens of any variety

Sprinkle green peas or edamame to add color. (We prefer green peas!)

Place goat or feta cheese around the edges.

Alternate cherry tomatoes with roasted pecans (roast in over on 300 degrees for 10-15 minutes until brown) Or sprouted salted Walnuts!

(Sometimes we add bacon and a little cheddar cheese that makes it all taste a little more like a 7 layer salad! It is gone in minutes.)

Cover with plastic wrap until it is served.

Serve with large salad tongues and toss the dressing or serve it on the side. Be sure to scoop a little of each vegetable to get the full taste. Our favorite dressing with this is oil and vinegar with a touch of ranch mixed in.  Lately we have been using a Greek Dressing with Olive Oil sprinkled around.

Enjoy. Have a very memorable and happy 4th!

E-conference coming soon! Hope you can join me!

Strength & Beauty grow strong as we walk faithfully with God

Passing each other in the kitchen with mugs of coffee, crazy sleep hair, pajama'd and groggy, I kissed my daughter and whispered good morning and headed toward my front porch for a few moments of quiet as I began my day. Just before I left the room, I was prompted to ask her, "How are you, sweetness? Is anything on your mind this morning?"

Sometimes the most normal moments and mundane of places become holy when God shows up.

Though just 30 years old, my daughter had walked in wisdom for such a long time.

"I feel like God always has me in boot camp--basic training for war! It would be great to have an easy season in my life for just a little while," she said, as she sipped her coffee.

"But, you know, mom, I have decided in my heart, that no matter what comes my way, I want to keep trusting God,

keep seeking to show His light, keep loving when it is difficult, keep strong when tempted to be weak."

"I want  to be one of those people who Jesus says, 'You were one of my most vibrant, powerful warriors for the kingdom, because you always sought to be holy and you never gave up!'

"So, mom, I will stay in boot camp and God's training as long as He has me here because I want to be faithful and love Him until I see Him face to face."

Wow! What an unexpected but powerful message greeted me so early in my morning. But how grateful I was to hear from her own heart that my daughter understood that to live holy and righteous and strong in love is a battle and requires training. When we learn to accept the limitations of the place that God has us with faith and submission, we will learn to see His purposes and experience a depth of His love anew. His love is so profound that he does not want us to stay limited in our lives but to learn to trust Him and find freedom, strength in His training and deep satisfaction in life as we walk with Him. A a loving parent, He wants what is best for us--He wants us to grow strong and beautiful.

God has us in "training grounds" because He desires us to become like Jesus--holy, strong, bold, and righteous. Training and discipling us to become like him is a long term process. But in order for us to experience His profound love, we have to submit to His profound plans for our lives.

Good soldiers learn to submit to their leaders, the authorities over them, their officers, to lead them well. So, as we are warriors for Christ, we must learn to submit to His ways, to seek to be as godly as we know how, to learn the ways of righteousness, so that we can become strong ambassadors and workers for His kingdom.

My daughter has not had an easy life, but because she has walked her years trusting God, she is mature beyond her age and in so many ways exhibits His light and beauty powerfully through her life.

Each of us must choose His ways, submit to His will, so that we can truly become stronger in understanding that His love for us requires that He will train us for growth. God does not want us to just be shallow and happy--getting our own way at every juncture. He wants us to learn the depth of His wisdom and to learn the way of contentment and peace.

The verse today is from Psalm 9: 7-8: "

"But the LORD abides forever; He has established His throne for judgment, And He will judge the world in righteousness; He will execute judgment for the peoples with equity."

God's great love will require Him to act in our lives to bring us to maturity. But we can only experience the depth of His love if we choose to submit to His training. This week, give your circumstances, your life into God's hands and become a willing learner of His ways, that you might see His goodness worked out in your life as He works deeply in your life to make you more like Him.

******************************************************************************************

I am so excited to invite you to a very special conference online about the training of children in the wise ways of God. Training, instruction and growing in God's Word and His ways is the pathway to becoming a godly woman. This process of training will allow us to live in and enjoy His love.

On July 14-15, I will be hosting an e-conference to inspire parents to train and instruct their children in wisdom. I hope many of you will be able to join me for the seminar, as I am so excited to be able to share what I have learned about bring wisdom to life in my home after being a parent for 30 years. For more information, go HERE.

I found a smile hiding in my soul--and it made me happy!

"In quietness and rest shall be your strength." Isaiah 30:15

Tonight, with all my kids in town and 7 of us at every meal, I was crazy for a few minutes! I asked 20 other people over for a casual friendship dinner so my kids could see some old family friends. Somehow we actually got all the food together, and every ate and had lots of fun. 

But each mom here, each friend, commented at different ties throughout the night, "I am so exhausted! I am so weary and it just seems like life never stops!"

Funny enough, I found an article from just about exactly one year ago--where I was--SURPRISE--tired! And so I give you my admonition that spoke to me again tonight. Read the article and then Take some time to rest!

Have you ever had a child who, late in the evening started going ballistic over seemingly nothing at all? Then a fit of loud wailing began and then suddenly, in almost a moment, said child almost passed out in deep sleep! Then you responded, "Oh, she (or he) was just exhausted and needed to go to sleep." And you promised yourself that next time you would be more aware of the signs and vigilant to put the child to bed earlier.

Well, slowly, I am learning to read my own signs. Each of us has our own puzzle. Mine is very different from most because of our ministry, travel and writing, added to the other piles of responsibility of taking care of my family. Very few friends I know live my kind of life,  or my puzzle, so I cannot compare or live under the same standards as them.

I am not feeling so strong lately. My spirit is more likely to complain. My body is a little bit more than tired. My perspective is cloudy. From many years of living through various seasons, I am learning to monitor myself when signals suggest I have been overloaded for too long. Just like the baby in the above example, God has allowed our bodies to speak to us.

Instead of worrying about my spiritual life, or living in self-condemnation, or pondering deep things, I am more likely to look at my physical needs, and then I realize--I need to make some sabbatical days this summer!

Recently, somewhere, deep in the night hours,  cuddled up under my covers, much to my sweet relief, I awakened and it seemed there was a smile in my soul---almost like I was a little girl again, free of the burden of responsibilities, light as a cloud, smiling in the soft warmth of my covers with a sense of excitement, "all is well and good things are awaiting" sort of feeling.  A pleasant feeling emerged from my heart, "I am resting, living in peace, restoring and it is good."

So often, we give and give and give and then wonder why we become grumpy or short in patience. But, God has put rhythms into our lives to remind us just how much we need our bodies to go completely away from the stress of the day in order to cope with the demands of life.

The day has a cycle about it--so many hours of light and darkness. In the light we can see to read, to work, to be active--but darkness was to be a signal of closing the day and its duties off.

Sabbath was also instigated by God to remind us to stop, to put aside work, to put aside the frenzy, to rest and cultivate peace and to restore.

In our 24/7 world, with false lights to keep us up and working all hours of the day, 24 hours of internet, 24 hours of tv, cars with lights that can travel all hours, etc., we lose the concept of rest and refreshing.

No wonder there are so many stress diseases--heart, obesity, thyroid problems, nervous disorders, depression, mental disorders, and emotional disorders. We are busy all the time, guilty for all we do not get done and wearing ourselves out.

I realized many years ago that I was becoming very ill from so much push, push and work, work, work. I also realized that no one else was going to take responsibility for my health and well-being but me.

One of the reasons moms yell at their children is that they never get a break. Grumpiness and anger comes from pushing, pushing, pushing.

An hour of rest and getting away was a regular rhythm in our home. Every afternoon, I put a pot of tea to boil and poured out cups of tea, or little sippy cups of juice or whatever seemed good, and everyone learned, by training to go to their "places" for a personal time. (More on how I accomplished that later.) I could not have done without my hour in the day.I trained my children to it early and it gave me the ability to have a one woman tea time.

I also, committed to Sabbath rest on Sundays--closed all of my "work" on Saturday and did not pick it up until Monday. It was all still there when I got back to it, but the world did not fall apart when I did not work on Sunday--but, I was much more able to keep up the demands of my life when I took off and made Sunday a day or worship, rest, pleasure, fun and naps for me.

Work and travel chases me every day, demands my life's blood. But, I rule over this force that would overcome me.

Stop. Put it all aside. Rest.

My mind needs it, my body needs it, my spirit needs it. But as a woman who is attempting to grow in maturity in the Lord, I have had to be intentional about being sure that I include rest, refueling, restoration and inspiration into my own personal life-not just once in a while, but regularly so that I can keep going and going and going.

People deplete me all the time, every day, wherever I go. But if I want to last for many more years of giving out and being in ministry and meeting my children's and husband's needs, I must pace myself.

And so, though there are many letters to answer, piles to organize, rooms to clean, groceries to shop for, people to call back, ad infinitum, I will lay them all in the file folders of heaven for God to keep. I have learned that they will all still be here tomorrow, and that God wants me to leave my burdens alone--as He is the father, I the toddler and He will indeed work in all of my circumstances without my help. But if I take responsibility to take care of my own heart and soul, I will last much longer, much better, and even have peace and quietness if I take time to rest.

And so, when I stop, my soul smiles a little more.

May your soul smile very soon.