As the Pressure of the season mounts, remember: God prefers You! Mentoring Monday

 Joy and Sarah--"Mama, I can't wait to come home-- lets just talk for hours and hours!"

Each December, knowing the stress and busyness of Christmas can create havoc if I let the whirlwind of expectations catch up with me, so I spend some time deciding what kind of person I want to give to my friends and family, how I will simplify. I also want to love Jesus well, but that requires planning on my part.

Especially when they were little, I had to make a plan--how to own my Christmas in such a way that I treasured what was important.

Now, letters and emails come from my children who are far away, and family who will be visiting, and friends who expect the events I have always held at my home for years and years play into my planning.

"Mom, let's do all the homey stuff--have breakfast in our jammies, drink tea together and talk and talk by the Christmas tree, every day. Let's make each moment count!"

These are the times that spell love to my children--TIME-my focussed time. And it was so when they were little ones.

Yesterday, I was decorating the dining room table while Clay and Joel worked on the tree. Josh Groben's song, "I'll be home for Christmas" began to play and I teared up, just getting excited, and oh so thankful to have all my children home with me, by my side, in my home, to touch, watch, laugh with and do life together.

And I don't want to waste a minute on busyness and distraction-but I want to plan and work so that I can have the most time loving all of my precious family and friends well.

As I thought about this, I looked through old journal entries, old blogs from holiday times, and my heart was reminded again, what was important--those moments that hold fast in the treasure chest of our children's souls.

Especially this one time, an unexpected grace, to touch, to enjoy, to giggle with, to celebrate life. It was a real life  moment when I could enter into the joy of being a mama and celebrate the gift of friendship with my best friends, my children.

Joy and Sarah, had entertained me in their sleepiness a cold December night, just two seasons ago.But the memory warms me still because I feel so very close to them--and indeed understood and accepted. They have become my dear friends.

Somehow, as I closed the affairs of my day and began to climb the stairs to bed, my legs felt heavier than ever. Each step reminded me how tired I was from the day of shopping at three stores, teaching a class, running around to get groceries, to the bank to deposit money a child needed, cooking and eating and washing dishes one more time. I am bone-tired lately at the end of each day.

At the top of the stairs, I heard loud music coming from Joy's room. Multi-colored paisley cloth, buttons, headbands, strewn all around her, as she diligently sowed presents for her friends. "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserable was waxing eloquently out of her speakers. (a song about a young woman who met a man who, "took her childhood in his stride," and left her pregnant, without any support--a truly touching song for us as we ponder sweet, lost women in our own culture.) It is one of our mutually favorite Broadway songs called me to sit on her bed and sing loudly with the lovely voice on You tube.

"You know, Mom, though I do think that song applies to so many girls, I also think that 'On My Own" is just as poignant!" So, I sat on her bed, legs crossed under me, jammied all about, computer on my lap and played this piece loudly, while again singing it from my heart, along with the soloist on you tube, with Joy giggling at me. "I didn't know you had it in you this late at night."

Discussing the depths of these two songs for few minutes, as only a late night brings on, giggling and chatting a bit more, I finally left her to make her Christmas gifts alone. How I do love this funny daughter of mine--the one with a hysterical sense of humor, always singing, always teaching me something from what she has been thinking, a friend of friends.

And so, it seemed only right to push Sarah's door open. "Are you asleep yet?"

"Not much chance of sleeping with you two next door," she commented wryly.

She resting like a princess, with covers up to her chin, long brown hair spread out on her pillow with soft light glowing from one tiny lamp, her Bible in hand.  Squishing against her, while sitting on the side of her bed, I asked her how she was doing. With a book deadline looming large and mission trips and college applications to finish, and expensive and challenging decisions to make, she, too, was weary and exhausted.

I reached out and gently massaging her fingers and arms, we commiserated about our own personal loads we were carrying, and talked about yielding them into His hands. I picked up a ceramic rabbit  from her table, next to her bed and made it  jump on her bed covers, just like I had done when she was a little girl and needed comic relief. (Don't know what possessed me.) We laughed and laughed at some antics that came up between us, and finally I said, "Tell me a Jesus thing before I go to bed. I need something in my mind before I go to sleep."

She smiled knowing me, and how often I live in condemnation for the little failures in my day, and opened the Bible to where she had been reading.

"Oh, how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God, and so we are." I John 3: 2-3

And suddenly my heart was filled with thanksgiving. Even as I had been delighting in my own sweet children, feeling I could be myself, resting and rejoicing in our mutual, close relationship, with the strings of their heart to tightly tied to mine, I immediately felt relieved in my heart, and accepted and at rest myself, because God also saw me as his beloved, cherished child.

You see, I prefer Joy and Sarah, my very own children. I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on them. I have given them my time, my body, my sleepless nights, cooked thousands of meals, sought to make celebrations so very special in buying them gifts, crafting a life, putting them to bed with blessing on countless nights, forgiven them their attitudes and messes, and still preferred them from all the other people in the world--because they are mine--my  very own, coming out of my body, beloved children.

And so God, has bestowed such a great and endless and personal love for me-He has created sunrises and sunsets for me to behold every day. Placing music in my soul, He came to bring peace to my world, delight to my days, to share my moments and burdens and joys, to be my own companion in the beauty of each day.

-I am preferred and forgiven and cherished and served and thought about by Him, because I am His very own child. Even as I can, in my own limited sinful way, enjoy and celebrate my children's lives and moments and be intimate friends sharing hearts, laughter, weariness and needs, so He, as my Father, has bestowed all of His love in these very same ways on me, even knowing me to my depths, and yet willing to keep giving, celebrating life, listening, helping, comforting--because I am His very special, chosen, related to Him child.

Unimaginable, astounding that He, our heavenly Father, should love me so. And that this was the heart of the Prince of peace--to bring joy, light into my darkness, love, humor, grace--peace to my days, especially in December 

For you to remember this this day, this month, this year, He loves you so! Prepare ye the way of the Lord to enter your home this season, this day. 

And this is what I am most thankful for this year--thankful that I am His own beloved child--that He loves and enjoys me in spite of it all, through my limitations, my weariness, my vulnerable moments, because He is my Father. My thanksgiving days will spill into my Christmas celebration of His choosing to adopt me and longing to love me every day.

This is the thought I want to cherish through my December days--that He prefers me, He longs for my own little girl heart to find rest and comfort in Him and His abiding presence, that it is not the craziness that will bring me through, but the choices I make to prepare the way for Him, His love and peace to fill my heart through all the moments of my Christmas days.

And of course, these thoughts make me so very thankful for my family and thankful for you, my friends, where we will choose to celebrate Him this year together, through each moment of each day.

Thanksgivings new and old! How I love it!

 

Joy and Sarah will have lunch at the Kilns, C.S. Lewis house with sweet friends today.

(Imagine sitting at his table where he ate and talked and joked, oh well, a little bit jealous.)

Sing for joy in the Lord, oh you righteous ones;

Praise is becoming to the upright. For the word of the Lord is upright,

And all His work is done in faithfulness.

Psalm 33: 1, 4

Today I will celebrate Thanksgiving for the first time without at least 3 of my children at home, but Clay, Joel and I will celebrate big in their honor with 15 joining us for our dinner. How thankful I am that this year we have seen God's fingerprints all over our lives and His faithfulness and new lessons in life and righteousness so that we have all grown a little stronger. Though I will miss my sweet ones, I take deep joy in my heart knowing that they are flourishing in their faith, friendships and life purpose. And so I thank God that He is leading all of them in His purposes, even if I have to visit them in far off places.

Yesterday, I was thawing my natural turkey in a deep sink downstairs in the basement while I ran upstairs to answer the phone. Did I mention I had turned on the cold water faucet? And then I proceeded to talk on the phone upstairs when Joel yelled, "Mom! Mom!" And of course the water had overflowed onto the floor.

Then, as I awakened this morning, Clay said,"Kelsey, (our beloved golden retriever), had taken a dozen homemade wholewheat rolls out of the plastic bag where they were being stored and ate them down to the last crumb!

As for my sweet Rachael and Nathan, they will be in California where Rachael will be cooking up delicious recipes to share with friends. Wishing them a thankful first Thanksgiving as a couple.

I have made a turkey, a turkey breast, peas, gravy, squash casserole, rolls, corn bread dressing, pecan pie, pumpkin pie and my friends are bringing the rest. But how blessed I am to be able to share life and moments getting to know new friends and celebrating old ones.

A memory of a few years ago that brought a smile to my heart today:

But, I do love Thanksgiving! It is a time of family, resting, celebrating God's goodness, feasting and reflecting on all that HE has done faithfully in our lives. After gigantic cinnamon rolls, and lounging in our pj's, we will all take a few moments to make a list, personally, for all the things we are thankful for--then the Daddy will read whatever psalm or praise is on His heart and we will all spend time thanking and praising the Lord together.

Then comes the feasting. We have not had the privilege of having much family in our lives over the years, so we have spent some Thanksgivings alone. But, I am always so grateful when we can fill the house with friends, new and old, who also need a home for celebrating. This year, all of my children will be here except for Joel, who is being well fed at a friend's house in Maine! (Thanks for taking care of my son!) Added to our family, a sweet family with three young children, missionaries with WYAM will join us, a man from church who has no family in town, and Nate's friend and parents who will also be alone this year. So, I will have 14 at my table and we are truly going to celebrate and have a grand day together.

On our menu will be, turkey, of course, apple, pecan, cranberry pecan bread dressing, celery, onion, cornbread sage dressing, sweet potato casserole,  a congealed cranberry salad, fresh cranberry sauce, yellow squash and onion casserole, peas, green beans, lots of potatoes, and gravy, 4 dozen of my homemade rolls (great for leftover sandwiches), pumpkin chiffon pie, upside down gingerbread apple caramel cake, pumpkin cheesecake, pecan pie, and all with whip cream and ice cream to choose. And we always have a variety of sparkling juices. I think I will go do my 2 mile exercise video and sit ups to prepare for the time--or I might just take it as a day of rest.

(if you want a distracting activity for your children and you don't use the neck or giblets, put them outside a window and the birds will make a feast of it and give a show all at the same time!)

In the old testament, feasts and celebration was commanded by God--he is a celebrating Father. May You all have a wonderful day with your precious ones. And may He bless Holy is the Lord. Of all my blessings, I am most grateful for my precious family and friends. I love you who God has brought into my life to be a visual picture of His hands, heart and love for me. May He bless you today in His abundant grace.

I am also so very thankful for you, my encouraging. wonderful friends, who share with me in thoughts, ideals and beauty so often online. Hoping you have a full and beautiful day!

The Gift of a Thankful and Praying Mama

 Cornelis Pietersz Bega

It is good to give thanks to the Lord And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;  To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning And Your faithfulness by night,

Psalm 92:1-2

"Mama, You know what one of my favorite memories was?"

"Meal time, tea time, reading time, Christmas, Birthdays?" I queried.

"No, mama--something much more profoundly marked in my heart. Almost every morning when I would walk up, I would come down the stairs and you would be drinking a cup of tea, there would be candles lit in the early morning darkness of the house, and you would be sitting in your chair, reading your Bible."

"I didn't even know I was taking it in, because it was so normal. But, this year, since I have been so far away, that picture has come to my mind so very often. As a little girl, I thought if you were having a quiet time, and seeking God for all of us, as each morning began,  then all of life would be ok. And I think that is what made me have my own quiet times because I could see it always softened your heart to spend time with God. It wasn't anything you made us do, it was just the spiritual oxygen we breathed every day."

What we want our children to love must be a part of life that we cherish every day. Sometimes when Joy saw me, I was begging God to help me or sometimes I was sleepy or struggling--but she didn't always know what was going on between me and God--she just knew that every morning, He was my first companion to help me start my day. And His word would be the place my mind was taken as truth each day as I began to live one more day as faithfully as I knew how.

And so it is with the gift of giving our children the habit of being thankful. It is something that cannot just be commanded, but it is something that is felt, modeled, practiced through the heart attitudes of  a mama every day.

Choose to be thankful, practice verbalizing gratefulness and your heart will follow.

Approaching Thanksgiving has given me much happiness this year. Though most of my children will be far away this year, I am so very grateful to have a home where I might serve some other sweet friends who do not have family here. We will celebrate each other together. Several are new friends that I do not know well, others are cherished, the kind you never have enough time with, but want to invest in.

I have realized that thanksgiving, a thankful, appreciative heart is also something, a treasure to be passed on, but it comes, too, through practicing it ourselves.

God has made His patience, His constant love, His beauty so very valuable to my heart this year. I am so very blessed, humbled and grateful to be His every day. And so the past week, I have been waking, taking time to tell Him, before I do anything else.

Then, there are the words of thanksgiving that transform hearts--to know someone is actually grateful for me makes my life feel worthwhile in spite of all of my flaws. But someone has to tell me for me to know.

"Thank  you, Joel, for doing the dishes for all of my friends who were visiting here last night! That was quite a pile. You have always been such a gift of support, help and friendship in my life."

"I love you, sweet girls, my treasures, and I will miss you, but I am so very thankful you are flourishing and God is blessing your hearts. Your happy hearts make me so very content. You are my treasures."

"I love you, Rachael, and I am thankful that of all the young women in the world, God gave you to me, our family and to Nathan as a wife because you are one who blesses and loves so deeply from your heart."

"Clay, the partnership we share together in building our family, our ministry, our lives has been so very dear to me. Thank you for all of our years."

"Nathan, I love your passionate heart for God, and the man you are. It always encourages me to keep being faithful every time I hear your thoughts. I always know you will seek integrity--I am thankful for you."

When words are given thoughtfully, intentionally, and generously, our hearts follow our words and become even more grateful because we realize again how much God has given. But it also sets a standard for our children, our family, of how they will value and appreciate others in their lives.

Even as I am writing this, the very practice of writing thankful words has made me, again, so very grateful for my family. Your words can form and lead your attitude as you practice them. And then you will find your children becoming the grateful friends that you have needed to encourage you as they practice what they have lived in your home!

Passivity and isolation kills the soul, but love, gracious words, gratefulness brings life--to marriage, to friendship to children, to friends. But giving these words often requires a commitment of heart, a way of choosing to see others and a habit that needs to be practiced.

Though the food will be abundant, the feasting fun, the fellowship sweet, the true soul-filling gift of this holiday is that it leads our hearts and minds to gratefulness and thanksgiving practiced will shape our attitudes all year long.

I wish each of you a blessed holiday. I will be spending the rest of the week taking time to be away from the internet, enjoying real, personal and present relationships and hoping for a little peaceful few extra moments with the ONE who is my life and joy.

Focusing on Him (In our hearts and homes)

“He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power.” -Hebrews 1:3

People have often asked me why I emphasize beauty--art, candles, beautiful music, a cup of tea, cinnamon rolls, great stories and books, and celebrating life. It seems there are so many “more important” things to make a priority. Bringing the reality of God and His life into my home is my goal in keeping beauty primary. He painted the skies and the flowers, he gently touched human hands and feet, he gave us all a capacity to think, he told epic stories through prophets and in his sermons, he fed and celebrated amongst his own disciples. He comforted the sad, healed the broken hearted, inspired the vigorous young men sharing daily life with him to continue living for a kingdom that would never end.

He modeled, through his every waking hour, the vast love, compassion, holiness, beauty, and servant leadership that expresses the very heart of God. Jesus is not just a thought to be understood or a verse to be memorized, but a living, breathing, vibrant, loving, personal God who lives and walks amongst us right in our homes each day. Our homes must become a true and vibrant picture of the living God, of the marvelous depth and beauty of Jesus.

How can we accomplish this? By focusing on Jesus.

These past few years, I have focused my spiritual study on Jesus Himself. Jesus is, according to Hebrews 1:3, "… the exact representation of his nature …” In other words, when you see Jesus in scripture, you see God, himself, living in the flesh.

To look at Jesus is to behold God the Father. Jesus was a man who walked on water, was tossed about in the stormy sea on a smelly fishing boat, hosted a picnic and satisfied the hunger of thousands of people several times. He didn't just talk about truth, he satiated the hunger of rumbling stomachs. Jesus touched the untouchables--he touched a prostitute, lepers, the sick and dying with tenderness and love. He held children on his knee and laughed with them and loved them. Jesus was not afraid to rage at the religious leaders who led people in legalism and performance but were not compassionate--he was not afraid of them at all.

He talked of birds, trees, lilies, mountains, and creation. Jesus, the very Son of God, washed one hundred and twenty dirty toes the night before he died, and wiped them tenderly with a towel as a mother bathes the children she loves. He celebrated and drank wine at a wedding, cooked fish on the beach, and validated women for their service and tender love toward him.

He is the way and He is with us along the way.

In their hearts, it is the life and reality of a God who came to love and serve and redeem them that my children long for. For now, they experience this through my service and love and excellence and faith and confident celebration of life. I can only give to them what I have found by loving Him on my own, by seeing Him with my own eyes, by understanding Him in my own quiet time and then living from a soul fully engaged in Him. The joy of life, which is contagious, comes from being in His presence and rejoicing in it.

In my day to day life with my children, where I love and value and serve them as Jesus did His own disciples, these four will not just hear of doctrine and manners and chores, but they will feel the touch of Christ, the compassion of Christ, the encouraging words of Christ. They will learn to love Him because they have felt and seen and lived love in the minutes of our lives together. Even as Jesus said, "I will never leave you or forsake you," so I will let my children know, "I will never leave you or forsake you--I will be praying for you, I will celebrate life with you (and cook for you and give you gift cards when you are far away from me!) You can tell me anything, and I will be your friend and companion as well as your leader and guide.”

Take a moment to complete the reflection and application below:

• Psalm 16:11 says, “You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Do I experience this? Do I believe it? Do I live it?

• When you read, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” what’s your reaction? Can you relate to the truth of a Father who is always with you? Or has your past made this difficult to grasp? Ask the Lord to show you the truth of this scripture and to know how near He truly is at all times!

• If Jesus was the “exact representation” of God the Father, what does that tell you about Him? What qualities do you see in Jesus that are most important to you?

The Mom Heart Conferences are upon us! Come Join us!

A Personal Letter from Sally

Dear Sweet Mom,

Like you, I love being with my children. It is always a delight when I can spend time with them, draw them out, encourage them, and help them. In this new season of my life, it is so fulfilling to see what God is doing in their young lives. They truly are the reward and blessing of parenthood that God promises. In many ways I feel that I live for my children, and yet I know instinctively that my children are not my life. God wants me to reach for more–to leave a legacy of faith not just through my children, but through the life He has given me to live. I believe He is calling me to own my life for His glory.

After over forty years of serving Christ, and over thirty years of marriage and parenting, I feel like I can understand Paul’s words to the Philippian church, “But one thing I do … I press on toward the goal for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul knew that he had to choose to own his life for the sake of Christ–he had one chance to live the one life he was given for God. It is a choice I made in my early twenties after reading Philippians 3:7-14 and have lived by ever since as a woman, wife, and mother. When Tyndale Publishing House asked me to write my new book, Own Your Life, I took it as a challenge not only to look back at my life of walking with God, but also as an opportunity to encourage Christian women.

So this year, I want to talk about how you, as a mom, can own your life. Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean doing more than you’re already doing, as though activity is the mark of ownership. Guilt is not on the agenda! Rather, I want every mother to leave our conferences this year with a renewed and refreshed conviction that you can say with Paul: “I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” I want you to see that what you are doing as a mother is part of that “one thing” that He has for your life. I want you to find deep, rich, and meaningful fulfillment in the life of faith you are giving for your children and living for God.

Each year, I am reminded afresh that our weary world needs a restoration of biblical motherhood–women who have chosen to own their lives for God’s glory. Mary, when told by the angel Gabriel that she would be the mother of the Son of God, responded with faith: “I am the Lord’s servant … May it be done to me as you have said” (Luke 1:38). She owned the life God was giving her. She embraced the legacy He had for her. This Mom Heart Conference is just one way I can partner with the Spirit of God to encourage and equip a generation of mothers to be ready and willing to serve God no matter what. We all can live a legacy of faith.

This will be my 18th year of ministering to moms in these conferences, and I continue to be energized and excited about what God is doing through mothers in this generation. I hope you will join me this year as we reach out together to take hold of all God has for us as mothers.

In his heart,

Sally Clarkson

To Register, go HERE

If you missed the October Registration Bonus promotion, we’re giving you a second chance! Everyone who is registered by 11:59:59 PM on December 24 will be entered into a drawing to give away another FREE REGISTRATION. It’s aChristmas Day Giveaway! Stacie Crenshaw just won a free registration for the Irvine, California conference. YOU could be next! There’s only one way to get entered in the Christmas Day Giveaway drawing … you’ve got to be registered by Christmas Eve. So don’t wait, get registered today!

A story named Joel--Celebrating You, today.

Joel, at the entrance to the Kilns, the home of C.S. Lewis, last summer.

Feeling small, alone, invisible, I shifted to hide my body and face from others around me who were chatting quietly and sipping strong Austrian coffee. Tears were gathering in my eyes and ready to spill over onto my cheeks and I did not want anyone else to see.

"God, here I am and no one even knows I am here. You alone see my heart and here my cry. Please, Lord, open my womb and give me another child, bless me with a little boy if it is in your gracious will. Make me the mother of children, and help me, I pray."

At 33, I had already had one miscarriage and had so deeply enjoyed my precious little baby Sarah more than I knew a mama could, and longed for one more child. Having children was never easy for me--each one was a miracle. The first time around, I didn't have a clue how much of a gift it would be to have a little one in my arms. But now, I longed for another, but month after month passed and I did not find myself pregnant.

But God heard my prayers that day, and planted Joel inside of me. He was my Austrian baby. Perhaps living in the city of musicians--Mozart, Beethoven, while in my womb determined his destiny--that he would eventually become a composer, an orchestrator, a crafter of music.

Almost nine months pregnant found me in my tiny house, all 900 square feet of it, bustling about, readying my home by buying food for the kitchen, washing all the clothes that had piled up, and trying to tell little 2 1/2 year old Sarah that a real baby was coming to live with us.

I had just gone to bed, when without prior warning, no labor pains, my water burst. I remember thinking, "What was that? and then it dawned on me! Oh! I had better get up and shower and get ready, the baby might come in the next day. Sarah had taken 22 hours of full on labor pain and was slow to come. I assumed Joel would be, too.

It was 11:10 at night, but I got up, showered, (wanted to have clean hair at the hospital--what was I thinking?), and in the shower, I had such a pain I almost collapsed.

"Clay!" I yelled, I think maybe we should go to the hospital pretty soon. He helped me out of the shower and helped me throw on some clothes. "Wait, I have to dry my hair just a little, " groan, groan, holding fast to the wall.

We called our Austrian doctor who lived close by and drove the 5 minutes to the hospital. By this time, I could barely stand--it had only been 40 minutes since my water broke!

We stood at the entrance of the hospital, me breathing as best I could, and told them "Schnell, schnell, bitte!" Quickly, quickly, please!

They looked at us sleepily as though I was just an anxious young mom, but slowly took us up the flight of stairs to the maternity ward. Clay had called my best friend, Gwennie, to come be with us and pray!

I literally slipped off my clothes and donned a gown and fell back into the bed all the while thinking perhaps I was going to die. The doctor came in and greeted me, introduced me to the midwife, (It is a law in Austria that a midwife must deliver a baby--I had never seen her before.), and my friend Gwen came rushing through the door, and I screamed, "It can't wait!"

I lifted up my legs, pushed and out popped Joel, into the hands of the surprised midwife--an hour and 15 minutes after my water had broken. We barely had time to realize the amazing miracle that had just happened.

You never know what a day holds!

Today is his 28th birthday. We are in the mountains celebrating his day amidst snow, mountains and evergreen quiet and sparkle.

Thank you, God, for answering my prayers beyond my imagination. This strong, vibrant, gentle, creative, spiritually deep, generously loving man has blessed my life in so many ways, I can't count. And to see him as your helping, loving, supportive arms and encouragement at this season of life, is a grace beyond what I expected.

Happy Birthday, wonderful Joel. You have always been an answer to prayer. May your new year be blessed with favor, love, grace and the blessing of God. Love you forever.

mama

Perhaps you would like to find Joel's music today and enjoy it in your home! To buy and album or to listen, go HERE!

Each day, I am playing the Midwinter Carols as a prelude to Christmas! Thanks to all of you who have written Joel a thank you for this! It has encouraged him so very much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WONDERFUL JOEL!

Building the Home Team Spirit: Mentoring Monday

The Clarkson Team--Nathan, Rachael, Joy, Sarah, Clay, me, Joel--

Writing our history together on a yearly Family Day gathering.

Darkness had filled my soul. It was one more time of, "I just wish I could quit! Life feels too hard. I don't know how to keep going. But, I got up one morning and knew in my heart, my children just needed me to put one foot in front of the other and reach out to them to have a good day. An idea came to me of how I would start our week with a surprise.

Then came the story in the video which brought Nathan to the point where I begin to tell his part of the story--he not even knowing or being aware that his mama was down. But his pronouncement reminded me that I was indeed blessed and had a way forward. Our little gang, belonging to each other, gave me what I needed to keep going with hope. Our team pulled me through.

*********

Chocolate frosting and sugar sprinkles decorated each corner of his mouth with a tiny piece hanging from his nose. Nathan, at the  full-boyness of a wiggly 9 year old, pulled the tee shirt of his jammies over his knees and pronounced, "I just love being a Clarkson. It makes me happy to be in this club."

For the rest of the story, you will have to listen to the video!

Each of our children was born to want to be a part of a family--with history, traditions,  purpose, a sense of mission and foundations of mutually shared stories,  comfort given, mutual core values, battles won and celebrations shared.

Why do your children need you to build a strong family culture? Your own sense of "We are a team together. We belong to each other!"

Because they will face lonely times ahead and with the love of siblings, life is not at lonely. Because problems of life in a modern world will come, and a close community of "us" can help each other through and shape souls on shared sufferings and celebrations.

Because being a part of a close family who is purposeful about living for Christ, brings meaning, purpose and love that will carry each of the members through years of challenges, difficulties and the isolation of feeling different than most people in this time in history--a place to always belong.

Because when you are older, you will have built your own best friends who will help you, love you and built their lives on the very same values and pleasures that you will share together for ever. Having children who are your best friends is just the best!

In Genesis 1, before the fall of man, before sin entered the world, God proclaimed the family as the unit through which all of the world would be organized. He gave Eve to Adam, and blessed them and gave them work to do,

"And Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground."

1.  Be fruitful and multiply--have children! Psalm 127: 3 says, "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him."

2. Fill the earth and govern it--Our job is to go into our world and take responsibility over it--in  the context of our family--how will our family bring God's messages to the world, bring his light, use our skills, do our work, bring order, meaning, life, goodness and fight against evil.

In sports, the team is usually only as strong as the coach that leads it.

The athletes have capacity, natural strength, but it is the coach that hones those capacities, rallies the team and brings out its best attributes. The coach leads the direction that the team follows. The coach establishes mutual respect and cooperation amongst the team, the coach helps build a team spirit--one for all and all for one.

Building a team is not always straightforward. There are failures. losses, casualties, injuries. But a healthy team mounts above all of this together and keeps going forward. Some games are lost, some are won, but the coach keeps them moving forward.

God has given us as mothers, the ability and call to organize and lead our home team to become a unit together--to live fully into our potentials.

I am not speaking of usurping the leadership of our husbands, but in most homes, the mama keeps the life going. "A wise woman builds her home, and the foolish with her own hands tears it down."

How do we build a strong family spirit? A love for being a part of something bigger than just ourselves? A sense of belonging to a kingdom call? A call as a family to build a history--a story of significance for a kingdom in this world?

How to establish a family team--or your home team? (I will be speaking to these issues tonight at the webinar--the Biblical foundations that give us a plan, a way to go forward, and path to walk on.)

The mama's heart is truly the source of strength, wisdom, encouragement. leadership, love and faith. If the mama's heart is filled with understanding, truth, and purpose, then she will have confidence in knowing how to lead her little ones to the purposes of God.

If a mama does not have the vision and understanding of how to lead her little team, to coach her children in this way, then she will likely go the way of culture--listening to the voices all around her--and establish her family's foundations on the sands of false values instead of on the solid rock of God's word and ways.

Our family had lots of flaws and we made lots of mistakes and had to grow all along the way. But the spirit of loving one another, belonging to each other and to a greater purpose covered over all the blunders. Our connection and love for our little team or club, so to speak, kept us growing strong at each juncture of life. We had a sure foundation to go back to in our times of confusion.

The following are a few of the ways Clay and I established a sense of belonging and purpose to our children.

Following God's priorities: And He said to him, “ ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ “This is the great and foremost commandment. “The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ “On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”

Love God:

The first of the 24 Ways our children learned and heard over and over again was, "We love and obey our Lord Jesus Christ with whole Hearted Devotion."

Then we established the rhythms to teach this priority:

Each morning devotions--reading scripture, learning the Bible stories, memorizing favorite passages, praying each day, starting the day worshiping Him.

Each evening, we ended the day with prayers at the bedsides and then a blessing, "I love you so much, I am so thankful you are my child, God loves you, too and will always watch over you and be with you."

These words go deep into the psyche--words spoken when a baby is being nursed and cherished, songs sung when a toddler is rocked, words spoken throughout childhood and appropriately given through out teenage hood and into adulthood--Words repeated in prayers, in daily moments, at night, on holidays, as oxygen of life.

Love God,

listen to God,

He is with you,

He loves you and forgives you,

He guides you in wisdom,

He will always be with you.

The second commandment:

Love your neighbor as your self. 

All day long, we practice love, correct attitudes, teach them to serve.The rhythms, all day long, shaping a heart of love, "Be kind to your brother, how could you have said that more graciously?

"You two will sit on the peace-making couch all day, if you must until you can make peace and ask for forgiveness."

Or you can write out this verse, or 24 Family way 5 times with the memory verse and write a short paragraph about what is means."

"Why don't you write an encouraging note to your sister and leave it on her pillow to tell her you love her tonight?"

"Let's surprise Daddy and have the house all cleaned up when he comes home with candles lit, music playing and a nice cold drink to tell him how special he is to us--he has had a very hard week."

Words, words, words, "God has called us to be a family forever, so that we will always have someone to help, to love, to support and to carry values together." "You will be brothers forever, learn how to love each other now."

The daily rhythms that knit hearts together---breakfast together, starting the day with a blessing, dinner eaten at night with no machines present--no tv, no phones or games, all about talking and loving and sharing--every night builds an expectation of talking, enjoying each other, celebrating life together each evening to close the day's events well.

Then a once a week movie night, a Sunday morning feast, an afternoon cup of tea for everyone--(or juice, hot chocolate, cider) for a 10 minute break together,) a Sunday afternoon tea time every week, forever.

Family Day celebrated once a year to acknowledge the fingerprints of God in our lives--what has He done through the days of this year? How has He provided? How has He answered prayer?"

We start out celebrating breakfast together reading the passages about Joshua mounting the stones of remembrance and then we mount our own stones. We have our own years of a notebook of family history from taking time each year to remember together what we are about.

Loving and serving people was also a part of loving others as ourselves--but a ministry focus, something we had to build in to our lives and into our life schedules and priorities.

Taking meals to those who were ill or had a loss in a family--making them together.

Hosting once a month game nights or music nights in our home to build community with others.

Starting mom's conferences as a family and serving together all of their lives.

Starting regular Bible studies in our home for girls, or guys, or moms or families--different groups at different times--but all of us seeing our home as a place of outreach.

Volunteering at church.

Inviting people into our homes on holidays to share meals who were lonely.

Giving to the poor.

There is so much more to share, and that will be in a book coming out next year!

But these plans, these foundations gave our children messages in their hearts that still speak to them today, practices of loving and learning to make peace, serving together and watching God work through our family. The sense that "This is what we do, this is who we are, this is how we work--we are a team, closely knit in purpose, values, calling." And that sense of belonging to something greater than their individual calling, has built close committed relationships that keep giving life, love and meaning to each of us.

But in essence, we need to understand that our calling is together, our purposes are as a family, our strength comes from not being alone in the world, but always having a place to belong, a group to be a part of--a family.

Your plan will determine your actions and what you will build long term. What values do you want your children to love? What work has God given your family to do? What stories uniquely suit your family for their purpose and investment in the kingdom together? What messages do you want your children to cherish deep in their hearts? How are you speaking these messages to them daily?

These are foundations that must be planned, implemented and built over the lifetime of a family.

These are some of the Biblical issues we will discuss tonight. Ten Foundations for flourishing in every season! Hope you can join me. Register before 5:30 mountain time, as we will be closing down registration in order to get ready for the conference tonight. Can't wait. Love meeting with all of you!

Winners of the 2 tickets to the e-conference are Beverly Steele and Janelle Spiers! Congratulations!

10 Foundations for Flourishing in Every Season!

Join me tonight, live at 7:00 Mountain, 8:00 Central, 9:00 Eastern, 6:00 Pacific!

You can purchase today and watch later.

(The cost will be slightly higher after the conference is over, due to administrative overhead.)

Choosing Love and Forgiveness

Jesus once told the story of a wealthy man who forgave the debt of another to whom he had loaned money. After being released from his great debt, this forgiven man ran into a man who owed him a small amount of money--and showed him no mercy, demanding repayment at once. When the first man found out about his former debtor’s lack of kindness to the other, he went looking for him and threw him in prison to be tortured until he had personally, completely repaid the original debt. Jesus then concluded, "My heavenly Father will also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:21-35)

This story teaches much about our relationship with the Lord. Because He has forgiven us and humbled himself to the point of death to bring about payment for our debt of sin, then He’s saying we owe everyone we meet the same grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness that we have received. If we do not forgive others, then no matter how justified we feel in hanging onto our resentment and hurt, our hearts will be damaged and we will feel far from God.

A very godly, older, wise friend of mine was sharing with me the other day, and she said, something quite surprising: "You know, I have lost many friends over the years because of issues with my children."

Apparently, one of her children had been immature, offending one of her friends--and the friend held it against her personally. What a travesty! To lose a friendship over a silly incident is such a waste. If we expect our friends and their children to always be mature and behave as we would wish, we will surely become disappointed and disillusioned. Yet I see it happen all the time. No wonder so many people are suspicious of Christians--we often act like normal people, meaning we are self-centered, easily offended, and vengeful--rather than behaving like those who have been redeemed.

There is so much potential for broken relationships throughout life--hurt feelings, different values, varying philosophies, immaturity, insensitivity, harsh or careless words, and simple irritation offering just a few places where bitterness could take root.

We all have baggage of some sort of severed relationships in this broken world, and sometimes it’s not at all our fault! But our hearts don't have to stay broken and we don’t have to react with bitterness, even in these circumstances. We can always choose to love, even when we are not loved by people--because God is absolutely, forever committed to loving us.

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men." -Luke 6:35

Take a moment to complete the reflection and application below:

• "I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 Do you truly believe that God has made a commitment to never leave you? As you embrace this truth, the commitment to love others in the same way becomes easier!

• "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 Are there relationships in your life which have been broken? People you need to forgive? Ask God to bring them to mind today, and lay a burden down.

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In Monday's e-conference, I will be sharing how to set up a grid for living with wisdom, cultivating love as a foundation of influence, understanding what you are building, how to endure with grace and so much more. Be sure to register and tell your friends. It will be a wonderful time. It is changing my life again as I am working on it! And if you win the rafflecopter, your registration will be refunded. Can't wait.

Register HERE a Rafflecopter giveaway

All of us fall short, and yet He waits, with love

 

Rembrandt

With the Pharisees and Saducees standing around leering at Jesus, caustically criticizing his every word, they saw him look gently to the very crowd of people he had previously described as "sheep without a shepherd." Jesus purposely told a story which would have had amazing implications in his day. An ungrateful son, rebellious and undeserving in every way, took his inheritance and squandered it on a profligate life.

In the story, the Father, (Jesus), lets his son go and allows him to experience the foolishness of his decision. He does not retrieve him from his dire consequences, but is waiting every day, watching for his son to return.

How amazing, Jesus is the Father longingly looking out with compassion and affection for his prodigal son, to restore, to love, to bless him with a heart full of godly love and forgiveness.

Are not we all prodigals, in different ways, leaving the generous love and mercy of our God, thinking something else will satisfy.

And yet, all of us disappoint, fall short, live selfishly, unworthy of his love. All of us.

Yet, he is there, always looking for the precious lost one, the weary, the fallen the sad--to fully restore them into his pleasure and love.

Recently I received a letter from a sweet mom who said, "I have been hiding the story of my life because I was afraid I would be rejected by other Christian women."

Her marriage had been impossible, she had received bad counsel, a divorce had taken place. Her heart was broken.

Another had a sordid past before becoming a believer, and she was sure her friends would reject her if they knew.

Another friend had a prodigal. Another had a beautiful daughter who lived morally and had a good heart but was rejected for her clothing and was ostracized from her peer group and almost despaired in her faith in God. "How could Christians, who are supposed to love, treat me this way, when I have done nothing wrong?"

I have friends in my life who walk with God and yet they have had to bear with the onslaught of culture's battles raging in the lives of their children that have wrought scars. I have felt the ravage of disappointment from others and criticism, and so have my children.

Others have written articles on the web that they have been cast out from the crowd for voicing.

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

"It is to a man's honor to overlook a sin."

"Take the log out of your own eye."

We all want God to be patient when it comes to our own lives, but we are quick to point fingers of judgment at others as though their fragility and flaws are somehow worse than ours.

The older I get, the more I give grace and have compassion because I see my own selfish, sinful heart more clearly and so am more grateful for God's grace than ever before. Seeing your own self in the light of God's holiness humbles you. God tells us Himself that  he gives grace to the humble but is opposed to the proud. Humility opens our eyes more clearly to the magnificent sacrifice of Jesus--while we were yet sinners, he came into the world, he touched lepers, he forgave prostitutes, he had compassion on the crowds because they had no one to shepherd them.

I live in a world of swirling ideals--I uphold ideals, I seek to be holy, I teach my children about the righteousness of God

but these ideals should never give me a reason for  judging others.

My ideals, which I have come to by the grace of God,  should always lead me to serve, to help others find the path, to show others the grace I have been given, to accept others as I long to be accepted.

Even my own family has been more harmed in their walk with God by "Christians" than by unbelievers. My children have been targets of wagging tongues. But our family circle is a place where holy love abides and where safety and mercy are upheld--where Jesus' love flows freely.

Still, words can hurt deeply and can have consequences--woe to us if we are vessels of separation in the body of Christ.

He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.

Oh, the wisdom, the love, the grace, the freedom I find in Him. He is safe. Real friends provide safety, where hearts can be shared without fear of condemnation.

It would be easier to be a Christian if it were not for all the Christians who are so very judgmental.

Let us be those who love, who remember, "Love covers a multitude of sin." "Love is a perfect bond of unity."

I have often said, those who have not yet been humbled enough are the first to be critical.

Criticism kills. Love heals. May we all become better lovers day by day so that we are not a part of killing the dimly burning wick of faith in precious ones who have secrets and are longing for comfort, for grace, for help, acceptance, forgiveness.

May we all live, today, in the beloved grace and patience and mercy of God which is new every morning.

Have you sinned? Have you failed? Are you failing now? Have you been weak? Do you bear a difficult secret or shame?

God loves you and is waiting for you with His open arms of mercy. Live in the strength of His grace, go in the power of His resurrection love, and then, by your gratefulness, extend the mercy to others that you have so longed for in your life.

"They will know you by your love for one another."

"Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ."

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Hope you can join me as we talk about many other graces that give us confidence, peace, and wisdom to live our lives in the grace and strength of God. Giving away 2 conference tickets away for the webinar! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Being Bold in the Balance: A Cow or a Bull?

 

The cow that did me in.

Our family moved many, many times over the years. What a grand adventure it has been. Through all of our transitions, there was a season that brought us to Walnut Springs, a town of 712 people. Listen to the podcast below about our "country, retreat" experience, and what happens when a confident mother says, "all cows are friendly."

[audio mp3="http://sallyclarkson.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/MH-141029_mixdown.mp3"][/audio]

As a mother, I was expecting a friendly cow, rather than a raging bull. Somewhere in between our great dreams and life's true circumstance is where God wants us to be. We must balance the bold ideals with the factual realities.

We dream of being such great mothers when we are pregnant--and we hope for a friendly cow--but sometimes we get the bull! May God give you grace to accept the bullish parts of your life and have wisdom on how to face them! :)

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Hi to all the friends who have attended our previous e-conferences and those who have requested that I do more! I am so excited about the material in this event as we will delve into the fundamentals of developing a long-term vision for motherhood. Each of the foundations I will be talking about will also give some practical ideas of what this looks like in day-to-day life. With ideas about traditions, rhythms of life, discipleship principles and more, we will unlock the secret of living well for the long run. This conference is designed to benefit all women, Moms and otherwise. I would so appreciate it if you would help me spread the news about this conference. Hope you can join us next Monday night!

Hope you can join me in the conference this week. Below is a  summary  about the conference.

From the early years of marriage and motherhood, to navigating the tumultuous waters of teenaged children, Sally Clarkson has walked through many changing seasons as a Mom. Now, as she re-imagines her role as mother to her grown children living out into the world, Sally reflects on what it means to fully live into the calling of motherhood, and how to last for the long haul. From her heart of experience, Sally shares secrets for weathering the storms and thriving as a Mom no matter the circumstances. Join us for an immersive night of stories, practical ideas, and heartfelt advice.

Please consider joining me at this conference! I will be giving 2 conferences away for free or refund your money if you win and have already registered. Feel free to use one of the paragraphs above for sharing about the conference or just share this post! The winners will be announced next Monday on my blog!

a Rafflecopter giveaway The winner of the Joel's Christmas music and Ann's book is: Beverly S. Congratulations!

For many of you who have asked, you may buy Joel's Christmas music to bring delightful Carols into your home this Christmas, go HERE!