I pressed my phone closer to my ear to make sure I heard correctly; as the repeated words flowed through the speaker from the other side of the country, my heart dropped.From a 6th floor apartment I looked out over New York City as the evening sky slowly turned dark. I pressed ‘end’ and tried to let the reality of the news I just heard sink in-- Kelsey my childhood Golden Retriever was going to be put down.
I’m not someone who typically is prone to large shows of emotion or public displays of distress, in fact many people in my life have looked to me to be a voice of strength and logic in the midst of stormy times. But that night, a thousands miles away from my home, I felt tears pushing strong from behind my eyes, and a sob begin to rise in the pit of my stomach.
The last time I saw Kelsey had been just weeks before during a visit home where I witnessed first hand the effects of time on my beloved pet. But even though she moved slower and grew tired more easily, I could still see the twinkle in her eye of the creature we all knew and loved. I thought back to the countless times through the years Kelsey brought a comforting paw to my moments of frustration as a young man growing up with OCD, I remembered as a puppy her jumping on each of our beds waking us up excited to start the day with her humans, and I recalled her and uniquely precocious yelp she would make from the living room calling us into be with her, because like me, she hated to be alone.
So as I sat in New York remembering 14 years of a her short life, I had to wonder to myself, why the death of a pet was touching my usually impervious heart so deeply? Why was this causing emotions I rarely felt to rise to the surface? Was it because it’s just what you’re supposed to do when things die? Or was it more than that? Could it be that perhaps I was mourning the end of not just the physical body of Kelsey but instead I was mourning the end of her story? There will always be more golden retrievers in the world; but the tragically beautiful truth is that there will only ever be one Kelsey with the legacy of stories she created; a legacy of laughter, joy, comfort, and companionship to me and so many.
Always a source of joy, fun, and love for my sweet ones as they grew up with her.
I think the interesting thing about the pain we feel at the of the loss of loved ones -something we will all inevitably feel in this temporary life- is that the sadness we experience has little to do with the loss of the physical properties of our loved ones; but instead is routed in something more beautiful, and and profound than anything physical we could ever know. Our pain is wrapped up in the loss of a story.
I believe in a creator, I believe in a God who loves stories so much that he created an entire world in which they could unfold, a world where even Golden Retrievers could play a part. I believe that God loved stories so much, that he gave his life to save ours. And as I sit her now typing the words and remembering the beautiful story that Kelsey left behind, I’m reminded that I will one day leave a story behind, and today I have the choice to decide what kind of story that will be.
“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot...”
― Robert A. Heinlein,
Way # 20 "We choose to be gracious even when we do not feel like it."
Memory Verse "Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13: 1-2
Moving to Tennessee when my little ones were small meant that all of us had to leave dear friends to start over again. Sequestering 6 of us in a small hotel room raised the stress levels and I was trying to meet everyone's needs, while feeling blue myself. Food was needed, so I found a grocery store near by.
A southern belle, with a strong drawl was checking me out and smiling so sweetly. "You are just the cutest thing. How are you, tonight, honey? Are you having a good evening?"
Crazy me burst into tears. Somehow having unexpected kindness opened the waters and I realized her gentle, kind voice and soft eyes made me feel like I wasn't invisible and that someone cared at least a little about me--even the stranger at the grocery store.
Contrasting this, rude behavior can also reveal my heart and surprise me with how ready I am to feel badly--even by a stranger's words.
Recently, I was standing in line quietly at Walmart to pick up some medicine. A surly young woman, looked up and glared at me, pointed her finger in my face and said,
"Hey lady! Hey you! Move back to that fire extinguisher. We don't want you hanging round here so close. It bothers us. Just wait for your turn back behind the fire extinguisher! Go on now!"
Inside, I immediately felt offended by her manner of speaking condescendingly to me and the outright demand she made out-loud in front of a crowd with no sense of graciousness. Her words and attitude accosted my heart. It took me by surprise to react so quickly to someone I had never met.
I wonder if this is how children feel when a mama goes off on them when they are totally unsuspecting.
Probably, this happens to all of us far too often.Each stranger had an impact on my heart, but each made a choice of how they would relate.
I realized how, living in a whole culture that was surly, inconsiderate or dishonoring to people, where people cut in on the freeway, and all sorts of other brow beating incidents, cultivates hostility. If indeed this incident had taken me by surprise and created a reaction---and I am a believer trying to be loving in my responses--then surely on a larger scale, it would cultivate an atmosphere of casual disrespect and inconsiderate behaviors of others-which leads to broken or callous relationships on the whole.
Old fashioned manners, honor and respect were drilled into me daily when I was young, and so I drilled it into my own children.
"You need to honor those older than you."
"Make a choice to treat people as though they have worth and use friendly voices and faces."
"Give all people respect as it makes them feel dignified and opens their hearts."
Over and over again we repeated our 24 ways, our desires, correction and modeling graciousness until it became a part of my children's pathways of thinking in each situation.
Jesus bowed his knee to serve every person who came his way--women, prostitutes, children, lepers, tax collectors, so that His actions gave each person He met worth. There is great dignity in relationships when people learn the ways of graciousness.
However, I fear it is too quickly becoming a lost value. The more we devalue God's values--and dishonor the value of children, the great value of elders and wise older women, and embrace euthanasia, the more we feel free to criticize everyone in office with no sense of reverence or culpability towards God, the more we demean the value Jesus gave all human beings. Lace of graciousness is a downward spiral toward the degeneration of all relationships.
When honor is gone, there is no basis for strength or integrity in relationship.
Our sense of graciousness to others, will build our own humility and desire to see God's great worth and holiness.
If a child is not taught that some relationships are holy in nature, worthy of respect an graciousness, then they will have no place in their minds to understand the holy nature of God, and our need to honor and give Him worth through all the ways we behave in life.
How do we train our children to be gracious?
*We give them verses to memorize:
"Do to others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31 Then we constantly train and instruct. "Is that the way you would like to be treated? What makes you feel important in the eyes of others? (Stop what you are doing and look someone right in the eyes. That tells them they have great value to you.)
*Teach your children to speak graciously to others.
"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (one of my favorite training verses.) And then we say, "How could you have said that more graciously? Did you consider how to respond to everyone so that they would be encouraged?
*Before you have guests to your home, (or before you go to someone else's home for a meal), you train, train, train. "Greet each person who comes to our home in a way that will tell them we are happy to have them. Learn to ask at least one question to everyone who comes so they will know you care. Please tell the mama who cooked the meal, "thank you for having us," because she will know you appreciate her.
*Give little immediate instructions. "Open the door for people before they walk through when you can." Give up your chair to others older and and others more in need of a chair than yourself." "If you see someone who is being left out of a game, try to find a way to include them."
Graciousness is a constant mindset that says, "I am the mercy of Christ to those in need.
I am the respect of Christ to others who need to know their worth. I am the loving words of Jesus to those who need to hear life-giving words."
When a child grows up developing this kind of graciousness as they go, they will have it as a treasure the rest of their lives. And of course, it goes without saying, that graciousness begins with the way you treat your children--remember, we choose to be gracious to our children even when we do not feel like it!"
We had many conferences, meetings, dinners where our children had to learn to wait on us and to be gracious with good attitudes in their waiting. But training them over and over and over again, gave them a self-image that they were called to become ambassadors for Christ in their worlds, and that is started with honor and gracious giving of themselves to others.
Training in graciousness has opened jobs for my children, scholarships, opportunities of all sorts. Having a value to honor and attend to others has caused others to want to work with them.
Eyes, voice and attitude were the ways we spoke of practically showing graciousness to others.
How have you trained your children to become a picture of the graciousness of God to others?
May someone treat you graciously today!
Be sure to order your Own Your Life planner and Bible study guide today and start your fall off with fresh perspective. I hope you will be inspired by the new stories and material! Buy HERE
The legendary living old tree at our "ranch," in the middle of Texas.
Way #19:
WE CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT, EVEN WHEN WE FEEL LIKE GETTING OUR OWN WAY.
Memory Verse: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32
Gnarly branches twist and turn all around the trunk of our mysterious ancient tree, that whispered to us of old untold stories hidden. it held the mystique of the generations it had witnessed, but hid from our sight. Surely, as it stood in a cattle tank and was well watered, it knew the lives of those living in the 75 year old farm house just standing amongst relative trees in the near distance. Standing in the hidden brush of some property our family owns right in the middle of Texas, it was a hiking point on our evening walks. Most of the trees on our 200 acres are small scrub oak--yet this is the grand daddy of all the trees! When the kids and Clay and I first discovered it for ourselves, we could not believe how amazingly large it is. With our whole family holding hands around the tree, we could not even totally enclose the circumference. It is much larger even than it looks in this picture that my brother-in-law, Wiley Clarkson, took!
The stories this tree could tell if it could talk! It has grown and given shade to many people through the years, but it is thought to have lasted generations. Yet, this gigantic tree, started out as a little spring of a tree, but with all the potential of becoming large, old and grand at its inception. But it took a very, very long time. This tree grew through storms, draught, tornadoes and lightening. The tree has a story to tell now, since it has lasted longer than all of the other trees that are long gone. But to tell this grand story, it had to be patient to live well and strong through all the decades.
As I have been reflecting on my life, in order, hopefully, to make the next several years intentional. However, I have been quite blessed to look back on my life and see that God has taken all of the years and made them fruitful and productive. Most days, I could not see the growth, even months, I could not see the growth. Yet, over the years, God was building a legacy through our family, our children, our ministry and our writing and speaking--but each day was lived and invested one day at a time, waiting, hoping, that our faithfulness mattered.
There were seemingly desolate times of illness, loneliness, financial issues, emotional hurts and separation from other "Christians" that broke our heart. And yet, God kept saying, daily in our quiet times,
"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27: 14
Rare, if any, is the verse that says, "Give up now--this is the time." or "Don't be patient with those immature, irrational people in your life--you deserve to quit since life is hard!"
Quite the contrary--wait, hope, work, be steadfast, cultivate faithfulness--wait and you will see God.
God, through allowing us to wait, is building faith, leadership, spiritual muscle, maturity, messages, and a platform that will become the messages the Spirit wants to teach us so we can be a blessing with others.
Patience is learned moment by moment in irritating circumstances. It is learned through seasons--(terrible twos, tricky teens, hormonal middle age, old age senility). Teaching your child little by little to be patient, to control His spirit, to exercise self-control, is training your child to learn to wait on God.
Contemporary culture gives us permission to compromise at every point--marriage, commitments, ideals, friendship--we want instant gratification--we are the generation of "I want it now."
Yet, God's will is to build the character of Christ in us and His way is to teach us to wait--to rule over our emotions and to be still and know that "He is God."
Patience leads to all sorts of strength--spiritual, mental, physical, skill acquisition, (musical accomplishment, athletic strength, academic prowess, financial security) so many blessings come through learning to be patient.
In the end, the man of medium skill and talent who perseveres is of much greater long term value than the talented, skillful person who quits and gives up.
So as we approach this important way, we must look for all sorts of ways to underline the importance of patience, ruling over our emotions, waiting on God patiently, practicing patience with those who push our buttons. Valuing patience is valuing spiritual maturity.
And so, as you instruct your children in this important virtue, be patient as it takes them time to learn this character strength! :)
What an amazing verse--a slow to anger person, one who controls his spirit, is better, stronger, more rare than a person able to capture a whole city--in other words, he who is patient, will win the day.
In what areas do you find it most difficult to be patient?
I am not naturally patient. I wasted many precious seasons of my life wishing them away, someone thinking the next season would be easier. God taught me slowly. Now, I seek more to pace myself and to see each miracle each day. It is still not easy as I am a "fast-paced" person, but I just wish I had not wasted so much time trying to hurry things that needed time to grow, and just enjoyed the process more.
God is with you, God is building you and your children and your vision, God will be faithful when you wait on Him.
Have you been enjoying the study of Our 24 Family Ways this summer? There is still time to join us as we learn about them all, and if you'd like to catch up, click the image to link back to all the posts in the series.
You can buy my new Bible study guide and planner HERE.
I am so excited about my webcast tonight for Own Your Life. Hundreds of moms are joining me from all over the world to talk about how to live a life that flourishes when we learn the secret of living by God's call and purposes in our lives.
So many have written me stories of how they are taking steps of faith to own their life, like these:
*When I read your book, it gave me hope. I left my husband because of abuse and was living in a shelter. After reading your book, I decided to start a ministry of outreach to other abused women. We now have 50 women meeting each week to study Own Your Life. We have had a retreat, organized jobs for 12 women and have become quite close friends in the last 6 months. Thank you for pointing us to God's possibilities.
*Cancer had ravaged my body and I had been in chemo for 9 months. At the end of this cycle, someone gave me Own Your Life and I decided to do something for someone else to take my mind off of myself. I am now working as a volunteer at the hospital to counsel and encourage families whose children have cancer. I feel like I now have renewed purpose to live.
*I am not a teacher type of a person, but when I read Own Your Life, I realized that if I was lonely, I needed to do something about it. I put a poster up in my grocery store and passed out fliers in my neighborhood to start a mom's group and now I have 12 women who have been meeting for 3 months. I can't believe that God has used me, an introvert, to start a group where so many are being encouraged.
*I am a mama of three children under 5. Having never been trained to be a mom, and coming from a broken family, I always felt that I was doing a terrible job at being a mother. After I read Own Your Life, I felt encouraged to begin making my home a place of life, interest, beauty, fun and a place I would enjoy. I decided to love my children every day as the gift God had given me for now and to accept the puzzle I had been given. For the first time since I became a mom, I have peace inside and have been able to love my children more patiently because I now know it is what God wants me to do. Thank you for writing this book.
I have been receiving hundreds of letters, emails and messages like this the past few months. Tonight, I will be sharing some foundational stories and Biblical encouragement about what it means to "Own Our Lives" and to move to a more meaningful life. I hope you will be able to join me. Looking so forward to it.
Remember, you must register by 5:15 Mountain Time to receive your materials and registration for the conference. We cannot take anyone at the last minute. The conference is filling up quickly and there is always a possibility we will have to close down registration.
You will receive a free pdf of my new guide book (a condensed version of the book with the same content) so that you can print it out and put it in a binder with the purchase of the conference, as well as a wonderful printable poster to encourage you.
If you want a hard copy of my new book, you can buy it on Amazon.
"Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness."
Desmond Tutu
Candlelight flickered in the lanterns on our deck as close friends sipped their last drop of a drink and munched the last bits of homemade bread and cheese.
"You all have been to hell and back the last couple of decades."
"How did you make it through in tact?" a friend questioned after a long evening of telling stories and reliving memories of some of the challenges during our years as a family.
(This is where the title of this blog came from, as you will see. Excuse my language, but it seemed our friend had aptly understood some of the stories he had drawn out from us that night.)
Often, people say to me, "Sally, it must have been easy for you to hold all of those ideals. Seems your children just responded because it was their personality to do so."
Having heard this so many times in their own lives, the Clarkson kids, just shake their heads and wonder how anyone thinks ideals come easily. I could write quite a list of life-challenging issues that have, at times, broken our hearts, caused us despair, wreaked havoc in our family life and of course tempted us to quit our ideals.
Yet, it is true that we have been a blessed family and the glory came from walking each day of life together holding fast to the promises we found in scripture.
When Joy was growing up, so much younger than my older children, it seems we had so many years of depressing circumstances that I thought she was going to be emotionally damaged from so many discouraging seasons. Raising a child with innocence when the issues flying around are hard held us in tension each day.
Later on the night our friend had talked about us "walking through hell," Joy and I were out on an evening sunset walk.
She remarked, "Mama, sometimes when I hear all of the stuff you and Daddy had to live through during my growing up years, I am amazed at how you made it thorough it all. But when I look back on my memories, I think you were making picnics and parties all the way through "hell" and lighting candles in each step of darkness to bring the reality of God's presence into our lives.I remember those years with such sweetness."
Somehow she relieved some of the guilt I had felt and carried for many years. There were so many times I had wanted to apologize to her for moments of despair, weariness or exhaustion during her "little" years. Yet, God's grace had covered over some of my dark feelings and when I sought to practice joy in the midst, God took my little efforts and made them enough.
I think sometimes mamas carry guilt for what is normal life in a fallen world. We will never be able to make the world a "Disneyland" experience for our children, but we can make our home a place of light-giving.
To dispel darkness in our lives by faith, I practiced many little "light" habits
The reason I lit candles every night at dinner, and put on music was that I wanted to bring a memory of beauty amidst our difficult days.
The reason I rubbed their little hands with lotion and told them stories in which they were the heroes at bedtime was that I wanted them to have a memory of love and hope that day.
The reason I would start each day kissing their little heads and telling them what a blessing they were to me was to help my spirit live into what I believed they were--a blessing--but didn't always feel.
Staying up late into the night with generous hearts of encouragement to listen to our teens and to help them learn the realities of the world and its challenges gave them a place to talk about every issue, to share every secret.
Sometimes we think that our children will not be ok, because our days are sometimes filled with stress and discord which make us feel dark inside. The reality is that all of us have fallen places in our lives and have difficult issues that we never imagined.
The issue is not if we have hard times, but how we choose to see them. If we see them as opportunities to trust God, to bring His grace into our lives, to teach our children and friends how to light a candle in the darkness, then these days will be a work of faith that honors our precious Lord and shows His reality.
Our testimony is not in the great feats of faith, but in the sacrificial moments in every day life when we choose courage and joy.
But, I know now, that in spite of the days I yelled or was impatient or down, my children most of all remember my love, my desire to cultivate a dancing heart amidst soo much.
Owning my Life meant to perceive myself as:
Bringing light into darkness (You are the light of the world.)
Bringing savory into their mundaneness (You are the salt of the earth.)
Bringing love into discord and making peace when I felt like complaining. (They will know you are my disciples by your love--even your children will know by your love.) I was not perfect at loving, and made oh so many mistakes. But I also learned to say "I'm so sorry."
What were the lessons learned from all the many, many difficulties?
Our children learned how to be warriors in a difficult world because God allowed so many challenges in our lives and we worked through them as a family. They saw us pray, work hard, walk by faith and seek to believe in the light while walking in the darkness. Now they have a pattern in their own lives to follow from memories of walking through these times together.
Heaven became a place of our hope, while we grew in our understanding that "in this world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world." We began to realize that we would not always find justice in this world, but that God's goodness, love and mercy saw us through each season.
Compassion, humility and sympathy was a gift we all learned because we needed it so much and it helped us to see the need in others more quickly than if we had experienced a perfect life.
Somehow, there were so many times we had to beg mercy, help and guidance from God, that we all saw our insufficiencies and were even more grateful for understanding we would never be alone and that God, who answered our needs so many times, would answer again.
Today, we see darkness of this time of history invading so many areas of life. Yet, it makes this a perfect time for us to be those who celebrate God's reality in the midst of darkness, to be those who spread hope and cheer in the moments we are tempted to despair, that we practice each day noticing the sunrises and sunsets, the stars, the blooming flowers and soft fluffy clouds amidst the mundane demands of our weary days.
Women have such capacity to bring joy amidst each day to say, "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
Heroes are made in the quiet moments of life when courage is chosen, generosity of faith is practiced and when we learn to celebrate life each day as we journey, ultimately toward heaven.
This is a small part of what it means to Own Your Life--to bring God's light and grace into each day of the puzzle of your own life.
We will be talking about so many personal life issues like this in the Own Your Life Webcast on Thursday evening. I hope you will be able to join me and hundreds of other women as we share in these heart issues together.
And remember, those of you who register for this webcast, (even if you cannot see it until later), will receive the free printable of the pdf of my new guidebook and Bible study guide, a $10.99 value, and over 150 pages of new stories and material.
Clarkson family reunions consist of plentiful feasts, long, passionate, and laughter peppered conversations, and periodic bursting into song. You probably think that I'm exaggerating or kidding; I'm not.
With each trip home from college, I grew to cherish my times home more. And there was always one treat I particularly enjoyed with my older brother (and fellow "J" named brother) Joel: jam sessions!
It started with our favorite old songs, plucking and plunking away to old musical loves like James Taylor and John Denver. Sometimes it was our latest favorite from the radio, but played with a jazzy twist or slowing it down to acoustics and harmony.
We did it for the delight of it. I have always thought that simply doing something beautiful brings glory to God. He gave us this gift of music, and what better way to worship Him is there than to delight in the gift he has given. So we did delight in it! We hummed, and adapted songs, harmonized in the kitchen (to the chagrin of some), and even occasionally shared on Youtube.
One day, on the long drive back from California, we had an idea. Joel had come out to help me and my roommate make the long trek back to Colorado with a car packed to the hilt. As we drove along, the dark Arizona and New Mexiso roads making the stars sing out, we began to show each other old songs we had both written. As we told stories and explained lyrics, the obvious came to us: we should record some of our songs!
For posterity! For graduate school tuition! For delight!
So we made it our summer project. We delved into a decade of songs we had both written, and even wrote some songs together. As we whittled away which songs we would record, an EP with themes of love, the frailty of relationships, and our need for grace began to come together. We call ourselves "Two Benedictions" because we hope that the songs we sing can be blessings. It was a great experience for me to see Joel working with the orchestration (which he did like a PRO, if I can brag on him). I began to see him not only as a sibling, but as a professional; and he is great at his trade!
And so it is done! We have recorded our EP.
We call it "Sun of Man" based on title and last track on the album. It is a song about delight and beauty and our need to return to God's grace again and again. We all need that. I know I do.
So we hope you like it and that it brings a little bit of beauty, delight, grace, and love into your life. We hope our songs of delight seem to you a Benediction!
And here's a clip from one of the story songs on the EP
[playlist ids="42089"]
Blessings,
Joy and Joel
You can purchase the album HERE at cd baby. Hope you enjoy.
PS: On this our special launch day, we will be giving away five free EPs!
If you share this blog on all your social media sites (Facebook, twitter, instagram) and let us know, we will enter you to win. If you buy and album it will help support me to Oxford. :)
"The only thing necessary thing for the triumph of evil is for good women (men) to do nothing."
Edmund Burke
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.…"Matthew 5:13-15
We are made for so much more, as the song says. We are to be the gatehouse of all that is good true and beautiful. We are to show God's creativity, His beauty, His intelligence, His hope, His love. Yet, we must have a willing heart to embrace the life He has created us for.
So many distractions, seemingly good activities, people wanting our attention, including children, church, friends, neighbors. But it is easy to get lost in the ocean of activities and drown in the despair of emptiness.
With the onslaught of the tragedy and threat of Christians abroad being slaughtered by Isis, police brutality, racial tensions, the videos about the destruction of aborted fetus's, and a host other devastating issues facing us as a nation today, many have been filled with fear for our future and with disparagement about the issues that will face our children.
As I was praying about many issues, God seemed to whisper to me,
"What if I have allowed you to be born for such a time as this, because I trusted you to bring light into darkness, to do works of grace in your world in your time for my kingdom? I will be with you."
I believe that each of you has a role to play in the story of God throughout your personal story.
You are an essential part of bringing goodness and redemption through your life by the way you live--but if godly women do nothing, because culture is so accepting of compromise, then evil will thrive.
For all of us to be poignant and purposeful requires that we get to the heart of what really matters--what will last for eternity, what will truly grow a legacy of our heart messages, what will build foundations of love that will bring life to the hearts of people under our influence.
God created us in His image to have the capacity to live powerfully in this dark world as His light. He has called us to be salt--savory, tasty, preserving amidst people who are starving for meaning.
Now, more than ever, I see that God created women with such a capacity to be His hands in civilizing nations. Yet, to become like Wisdom, the woman in Proverbs, who was a picture of what God created us to do in His world, we must realize the areas of foundation and work that really matter--that get to the heart of what we are called to do.
As I have received many letters about Own Your Life this year, I wanted to do refresh and remind precious women about how very influential and powerful their lives can be.
These are some of the areas of life I think really matter and I will be addressing in my webcast this week about the important and strategic areas that shape the very soul of those living in our nation and those under our roof.
Self-Actualization is the beginning point of living life on purpose. God defines our heritage, our future, our legacy, our potential--He has given us all that we need to live life well. As His children we moved from darkness into light and can keep growing in His likeness when we embrace our spiritual heritage.When a person understands the great value in their unique personality, the capacity and power of their own lives to live excellently and with meaning and influence, to move beyond the failures of their human life into the possibility of the life God desires to give them, they will begin to grow in the grace of God's calling, purposes, stories they were created to tell in this mega story of human history.
A Deep Spiritual Life God is the author of life, the source of all wisdom and knowledge, the divine teacher of values, relationships, purpose, behavior, psychology, and life skills. The woman who desires to be excellent in her life can only find this kind of insight by cultivating her walk with God through reading and studying the word of God, learning to pray, living out of obedience, embracing the forgiveness God has provided, and learning to ponder and follow the ways of Jesus.
We are to be His ambassadors, His soldiers of righteousness in this world. We each have one life in which to live faithfully and invest our lives in the Kingdom of God while we walk this earth.
Where there is shallow or no spiritual life, there will be little faith and diminished holiness in the lives of people who call themselves Christians. We have had little impact because we have lacked the power, wisdom and truth in the ways we have brought God's light and salt into all arenas of our world.
Loving Well is the means through which God intended us to influence others and to inspire and encourage their hearts. Jesus was the ultimate picture of loving well. He gave everything--his life, his time, His words, His created world, His spirit and then died to provide us with the love we needed to be reconciled to God. If we are to live like Christ, we need to become the lovers that model His life.
He was a servant leader and gave up His rights. He was a peacemaker and said those who made peace would be called sons of God. He was humble and meek and gently served all who were in His sphere. He held children, washed toes, made food for the hungry, healed the sick, encouraged the faint hearted and inspired others to give their lives for His kingdom by His sacrificial love.
If we are to reach the hearts and lives of our friends, husbands, children, then we must learn to love by sacrificing our lives, by serving those who are in our sphere, by being humble to those He brings our way. Loving generously is what leads us to understand the heart of God.
Marriage and Family is the vehicle through which God created righteousness to be passed down from one generation to another. The Home that is the laboratory of life for the family is a place that must be led and cultivated as a place of life by someone who understands the importance of a holding place for all that is sacred. Morality, values, faith, love, character, truth are all to be held dear within family that children's souls can find comfort, security, health, grace, purpose and strength in order to have their lives shaped well and strong. Marriage is the vehicle through which partnership in life brings the purpose of Genesis 1 into place. Through the family, the world was to be subdued. By loyalty in marriage, we model the unbreakable image of God's eternal and everlasting love for us.
Raising Godly Children is more crucial than ever. I will be talking about what is at the center of reaching children's hearts and giving them a faith that will last in this challenging time. God wants you to see His favor in this and I will be sharing many of the ways we passed on faith to our own children.
Character and Integrity is the part of our hearts inside that reflect God's holiness on the outside. Practicing and growing strong in integrity is essential to reflecting the excellences of our God. God does not just call us to the grace of redemption, but to be the best person people know, the most loving, the hardest worker, the dependable neighbor, the servant leader. It is the core of our trustworthiness that will show others what God is like.
Is it difficult to be a person of ideals and to strive towards ideals in this demanding culture? Of course. My life has cost me greatly in effort, work, giving, engaging in giving my life for others. This road is not easy, but it is the way we reflect His amazing character to the world that is used to walking in darkness and without hope. Developing the character of Christ is the mission of the Holy Spirit so that we will look like Jesus to the world that needs guidance and hope.
Education is of profound importance to the future of our nation. We can only teach others from what we have invested in our own lives. For a woman to become stronger in godly influence, she must take responsibility to educate herself, to read, to think clearly and from Biblical conviction, to expose herself to wise and articulate people. Then, when others come to her, she will have something of great insight to draw from in her own life.
When a child is taught to think well, given a vocabulary that is vast and strong, had the opportunity to be exposed to the greatest authors, the most profound issues found in scripture, the opportunity to read great hero stories, learn the lessons of history, then this child will become a leader in his life time. Those who can think well, write well, speak well will be the ones who most influence history.
If a people is found to be disappointing and mediocre in behavior, then we only have to look as far as to the leaders who had authority over them. Great leaders will produce excellent students. Parents have the exceptional opportunity to determine what level of education their children will have. When parents, and particularly mothers seek to take responsibility for the education of their children, they have the opportunity to influence intelligence, persuasion, leadership and leadership skills into the lives of their children. Those who think most profoundly and clearly are the ones who will influence culture. When children are well educated, they become more responsible capable adults. It is not the government that is responsible for our children's minds--we are responsible. Each child has amazing capacity to think profoundly, but the mental muscles he has been given by God must be exercised by the parents in authority over those children.
There are a few more foundations I will be covering in the webcast this Thursday night.
I will also take questions from the comments on this blog to answer some of your more practical issue of how to live between ideals and reality.
I hope you will join me for a great evening of inspiration and discussion. And don't forget, those who sign up for the webcast will receive the 150+page pdf for free of the new study-guide and Bible study for Own Your Life.
For helping me spread the word, I would like to give away 10, $10 gift cards to those of you who help me spread the news of this webinar. If you share this post or the news of the Own Your Life webcast on facebook, twitter, instagram or to at least 10 friends, leave me a comment below AND TELL ME WHERE YOU SHARED IT and I will use random.com to pick out 10 winners to enjoy a coffee from our family.
COFFEE FOR 10 OF MY FRIENDS!
Coming soon! Fresh inspiration is right around the corner.
Webinar filling up with such sweet women from all over the world! Be sure to join us and tell your friends. Hope you can make it!
If you are at the Women of Faith conference this weekend in Denver, look out for Angela and me and say hi! We are here to help spread the word of You Are Loved. Let us know you are here!
Way # 18 We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing!
MEMORY VERSE:
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits,unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17
"If you want trust, trust others. If you want respect, respect others. If you want help, help others. If you want love and peace in your life, give them away. If you want great friends, be one. That's how it works."
-Dan Zadra
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."
Martin Luther King Jr.
Traveling through parts of Austria and Poland the past three weeks has truly restored deep places in my heart. As a young missionary in Communist these Communist countries many years ago, I cut my teeth on discipleship, "making disciples of all nations", learning to live by faith in a very foreign place, and holding fast to my Bible.
A couple of years ago,I was traveling through parts of Austria and Poland with my old missionary traveling partner where we used to meet with people and teach Bible studies and meet with people in secret places in communist countries. These trips restored deep places in my heart.
As a young missionary in Communist countries many years ago, I cut my teeth on discipleship, "making disciples of all nations", learning to live by faith in a very foreign place, and holding fast to my Bible. One of my surprises, however, was the conflict and issues, at times amongst the missionaries themselves.
Young and unseasoned, I believed that if someone was brave and courageous enough to go into the mission field, they would probably be "super-human" and "super- spiritual." And yet, living overseas can be so very stressful that it magnifies difficulties. And so this was the place I began to learn the importance of peacemaking, when disharmony and discord entered into the relationships on my staff team. Most were maturing believers, but all were in need of the mercy and grace of God. Discord of large proportions could disrupt the unity of our staff teams.
My last reunion trip, even as I travelled by train and car through many very old villages, I noticed that each was enclosed by walls to protect the people inside the hamlets from enemies. Fighting, warring, arguing is one of the foundational evidences that this is the world separated from God. We war against each other as countries, but also as individuals, because we are self-centered, focussed on our own agenda, our own well-being as opposed to focussing on serving and bringing harmony to others. Do not be surprised by relational conflict--it is a mark of the fallen world. And as believers, we are called to redeem broken places.
You will notice in this particular 4 rules that each begins with "We choose."
It is a choice of our will, an obedience of conscience where we serve God by doing what is right. Maturity in Christ is learning to do what is right because righteousness is so instilled in the pathways of our minds and hearts. When we memorize God's word and wisdom principles, then when we encounter,animosity, (and we do daily), our minds will already have a truth to go to so that we can have wisdom in behaving as Christ would have us. Truth, understanding and obedience are partners in peacemaking.
Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." Matthew 5:19
What a defining verse--by becoming peacemakers, we will be observed to be the true reflection that we are God's sons. But the verse also implies that peace is not easy--it is a "work" of life--it must be made.
Every relationship is between 2 selfish people if they are alive. The question in relationship is not who is right, but who will make peace, give grace and forgive. Making peace starts inside with a decision that says, "I can become a vehicle to bring peace and to restore this relationship if I am willing to humble myself and reach out."
Whether marriage, friendship, family, colleagues, or as parents, peacemaking--the act of choosing to reach out in the work of restoration comes from a heart that worships God.
I love this verse: "For He Himself is our peace," Ephesians 2:14
He made Jesus, who knew no sin, to become peace on our behalf. if this is the greatest work of Jesus life, to give it all that we might have peace with the Father, helping our children to learn to make peace with one another, is one of the most profound ways they can show others what God is like and then come to deeply appreciate what God has done for them, because they will see how much it cost Him the older they become.
We gently, consistently, peacefully, instruct our children in becoming peacemakers. We teach them that there is a cost to making peace with others--the cost of bowing our own hearts to our pride and becoming willing to serve the one with whom we have conflict.
I have learned that humbling myself is usually easier than I thought. Humbling ourselves brings the possibility of unity and restoration as we admit our ability to fail and disappoint. We must show our children, by our own kindness, that humility is the bridge to making peace.
Adults must exemplify this peace-making lifestyle if children are going to understand and become like God.
How heartbreaking it is to see supposed leaders participate in gossip, pointing fingers, accusing, especially online--while thinking they are justified in their criticism, when all along they are harming the reputation of Christ and Christianity.
Blessed are the peacemakers, Jesus said, Something that we all need to ponder anew--today, with our children, our spouses, our friends, even our enemies. We cannot force others to make peace with us any more than Jesus could force the Pharisees to leave him alone. Yet, each of us must make attempts to have peace with others, as far as is possible. But one last admonishment comes from Paul:
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18
So, we teach these peace principles to our children when they are fussing, when friends or a family member has hurt our feelings, when they have been unjustly criticized. Peace training protects a child, as an adult, from making rash decisions in relationships and instead teaches him the pathways of peace-making.
The memory verse this week is profound. God's wisdom--insight and understandable truth--is pure, peaceable and gentle. May the Holy Spirit quicken our hearts to obey and practice this truth, that we might bridge the gaps in our relationships with the love of God.
Are there any relationships God is pressing on your heart that you need to restore?
Is there anything keeping you from making peace with those who are in conflict with you? Do you need to humble yourself or forgive the other person? If I have learned anything from the heart of Jesus, is that when I choose to obey what He shows me in His word, ultimately is brings me peace and deep joy. I do not have to carry hate or bitterness--He will relieve me from them when I accept His will for me to make peace.
I pray today that many of you will make peace with those in your life who are far away and can be restored. And that you will have His grace, no matter what the results. In making peace, you will become like the son of God!
What are your most challenging issues in making peace with those in your life you share conflict? What keeps you from becoming a peacemaker? Remember, your children don't just hear the words of your messages, they watch live out these important messages in real life every day.
Be sure to secure your place at my Own Your Life webinar coming up next Thursday night. It will be a great night with woman all over the world participating and interacting in the chat room together. I love these evenings with live fellowship from women in so many places. I would so appreciate it if you would help me get the word out and tell your friends. Space is limited, though, so be sure to secure your place!
Remember, if you register for the webinar and want to listen to it later, you will still receive the pdf of the study guide and Bible study, over 100 pages of new stories, Bible study and personal planning questions.
I have heard from so many of you and the way in which you are taking Own Your Life to heart. I am so grateful for the ways in which each of you are standing up for truth, creating beautiful, godly homes, and living into the people that God desires you to be. I am freshly inspired to help others find their way in this very secular culture and learning how to find comfort in the midst of so much happening.
Since the release of the book earlier this year, many of you have asked for further assistance and practical solutions for owning your own story. It is my delight to announce that after writing over the summer, the Own Your Life Study Guide and Planner is launching next week! The planner further unpacks the ideals in Own Your Life, giving you essays from my heart and home, practical solutions to apply month to month, and scriptures to bolster your courage. Topics include:
Fresh inspiration to renew your vision for your home and your family
Encouragement for your spiritual life as you seek to love God and grow closer to Him
Practical, applicable ideas for ways to own your life right now
Along with the planner, I am thrilled to host an e-conference on Own Your Life. From my living room to yours, I will share from my heart about my own journey, and the choices that I have made to own my story. I will talk about how God has guided me graciously through many storms and a variety of seasons, and led me to a good place.
Also, I will be taking questions ahead of time and try to answer the most common ones during the webcast.
When the planner is released on Amazon next week, it will retail for $11.99, but if you pre-register for this live event (rather than buying it as a pre-recorded video after the event), we will include a FREE PDF of the Own Your Life Study Guide and Planner! I am also giving a wonderful printable poster that you will love from the book.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: TO RECEIVE THE STUDY GUIDE AS PART OF YOUR REGISTRATION, YOU MUST SAY "YES" TO RECEIVING EMAIL UPDATES!
If you opt out, you will not receive the email with information about how to access the free book. We want to make sure everyone who pre-registers gets a copy!
For those of you who cannot attend the webinar on Thursday night, you can purchase the webinar and watch the recording at your convenience--and you will receive the pdf of the book for free.
Webinar Info:
Own Your Life, With Sally Clarkson
Thursday, August 13th, 2015
7-9PM Mountain Standard Time
Registration fee: $12.99
Pre-Register and get a free PDF of Own Your Life Study Guide and Planner! (you MUST say "yes" to email updates)
Rhymes for Kindly Children
