Developing Personal Vision (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 4

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

Giving gifts to my children is a special delight for me. One Christmas after a great deal of consideration, careful selection, and a healthy amount of sneaking, Clay and I were elated with the gift we had picked out for our precious son Joel: his first guitar.

It was a perfect fit for our most musical child. At only eighteen months old, Joel was singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” perfectly and on pitch, and he began harmonizing at age three. As he grew, we watched his abilities blossom, so a guitar was an obvious choice to help him hone his gifts. That morning, pajama-clad and holding hot chocolate, Clay and I smiled as we watched Joel open the guitar case in wonder.

Seeing the look on his face as he ran his hands over the smooth shiny body of his new musical tool confirmed our choice of a gift. Twelve years later, I sat with tears in my eyes, clapping with all my mama-heart as Joel walked across the stage at his Berklee College of Music graduation. The in-between years had been filled with picking, plucking, and strumming that built up calluses on his fingers to be able to fret the strings more easily. And along with the guitar would come new instruments to learn, new skills, and many hours of “jamming” in our living room.

The little boy who had once relished his first real instrument in my living room now stood before me on stage, Summa Cum Laude graduate and Composer of the Year, and an emerging master of his trade. Being a parent has so often given me a deeper understanding of God’s feelings towards me. My delight in giving gifts to my children recalls to mind what Jesus said in the sermon on the mount:

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11).

The true delight of my parent’s heart was not only giving Joel the gift but watching his grateful and faithful response.

Imagine if we had given Joel the guitar, and he had thanked us for it, but then over the years it sat in a corner of his room gathering dust. We did not give him the guitar with a contract that said, “You must practice with this, be faithful, and become a skilled musician.”

We gave it to him freely. But his faithfulness delighted our hearts as he put the gift to good use. Just as Clay and I knew our son and gave him a gift that we knew would both delight and empower him, so God gives to us even more generously since he is the one who knit us together “in the womb” creating and weaving into our being the very fabric of our personalities and personhood.

Developing Personal Vision

The dreams inside point to the destiny each of us was created to fulfill. We each want to know that our lives matter and that we are not invisible. When we see them only as a series of mundane days, and when we become consumed by busyness and the nonstop media around us, our lives will become empty. When we focus on the expectations of others or dwell on the hurts they have caused us, we become prisoners to the circumstances of our lives. Ignoring the eternal purposes God has designed for us leads to emptiness.

Living with the end in mind means living with an attitude that says, “What has God given me with which to be faithful today? How can I invest in His kingdom, even in this seemingly mundane moment?”

And sometimes faithfulness is very mundane.

When we fall into any of these traps, we tend to make excuses for the disappointment of living mundane, purposeless lives:

"I just don't have time for ministry to others."

"That sacrificial decision would not be financially feasible."

"I meant to write her a note [or call her when she was ill, or reach out to her when she was lonely, or give her some money when she was destitute], but it is too late now. I would probably just bother her."

"What would people think of me if I became that radical?"

"I might fail or embarrass myself."

"Why should I speak up? No one ever listens to me anyway."

Another extreme is when women try to control life and in essence try to control God, seeking to tame and manipulate their circumstances as much as possible in an attempt to avoid more stress and disappointment in life. In both cases, one year fades into another, each more disappointing than the last. If we are not careful, the sands of our lives will slip away, and our excuses will leave only empty echoes in the wind.

As Henry David Thoreau noted, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

Determining what good works He created for you to do is essential to understanding how God might use you. Unless you evaluate your life, count the cost of serving God, and make a plan for how you will move ahead, none of this information will be of any help.

Often the story and circumstances of your life will influence your message. How do you want to use what you have experienced to speak into those who have similar lives?

Chapter 4 of Own Your Life is about changing your will in order to be a world changer and really developing a vision that is personal and thinks long term.

Giveaway

I have received so many letters, messages and comments about Own Your Life. I would love to give away 4 copies to 2 readers--one to keep and one to give away to a friend.

What an impact we make on each other when we work in community! I encourage you to grab a friend and go through this book together. Challenge one another and hold each other accountable.

To enter to win, simply leave a comment answering the following question:

Being faithful in an unfaithful world can be wearying!  What good are you growing weary of doing?

Please be sure to leave your email address so I can contact you if you win. 

U.S. residents only.

(Give it away if you already have one. Share with friends. I just hope it will encourage whoever will read it.)

How Can I Cross the Finish Line With Joy?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matt 5:4 

Darkness of soul is a familiar feeling for me. As my story would have it, the deep feeling of having burdens piled upon my shoulders so heavy that I doubted my ability to keep taking steps forward was familiar to me in different seasons.

Then, daily tasks of feeding, giving, loving and meeting the needs of my whole family would come over and over again, relentlessly. Long nights of hospital machines that helped my children to breathe enough to go to sleep again after hours of gasping filled years of my life. Moving again and settling into a new home meant extending myself over and over again, after learning that most people would not reach out to our own family. We needed to be the initiators, again.

God has given me an idealistic heart, though, and somehow I had this inner bubbling up of delight, a desire to overcome, and so I sought for answers to memorize deep in my soul, that would show me a "light" way forward amidst the darkness that sometimes prevailed.

In the midst of the busy-ness and hard realities of life, it's easy to become burdened, living under a cloud of depression at times.  Yet, the one cry of my heart, since teen years was,

"If someone really knew the living God, who created stars and music and romance and epic stories to be lived, wouldn't their lives be different for knowing Him."

Surely, God wants more for us than that we make it to heaven exhausted and threadbare, hardly able to take one more step.

I wanted to be that person, that when people came to my soul, they would find the God who drew me above my circumstances into a realm of His reality and joy. Many years ago as I pondered what would enable me to live the Christian life with true joy, a memory surfaced of a time I'd attended a very fancy ball with my parents.

As a wide-eyed 6 year old little girl, when my parents had no babysitter, I was taken with them to an evening dinner dance, so that they could still enjoy their special night out with friends. Bedecked in  shiny patent leather shoes, lace socks and my frilliest little girl dress,  my mama let me wear a touch of her lipstick and a tiny bit of pink rouge.

I still remember sitting wistfully at a fancy table, big-eyed and dreamy,  admiring all the twirling dancers when...

"Suddenly, my handsome, 6'3"smiling father strolled over. In one easy, graceful movement, he swept me off my feet and up into his arms. With a tone and look of noble seriousness, he said, "May I have a dance with the princess of the ball?"

"Yes," I said with my little girl smile."

The next thing I knew we were on the dance floor. My feet hung limply down, swinging as he swayed. He held me tightly in his strong arms and easily twirled me 'round and 'round the dance floor. As we danced cheek to cheek, I breathed in the familiar scent of the Old Spice aftershave he had lightly rubbed on his smooth-shaven face earlier that evening. (That spicy aroma still brings back memories of him.)

The tingling excitement and pride that I felt at that giddy but very rare moment, being in the arms of my hero, left me almost breathless. I treasured each second with great delight and took in all the smiles and admiration of the other doting adults. For the several minutes we were on the dance floor, I was caught up in something so special I didn't want it to end. I do not have lots of personal memories with my father, but I remember his arms holding me and carrying me in the dance of the night.

But then the song wound to a close, and the music came to an abrupt stop. Our dance was over. With his long, smooth strides, my father glided back to our dinner table with me still in his arms and set me lightly upon my chair.

"Thank you for the pleasure of your company, sweet princess," he said affectionately and bowed. Then he turned away to find my mother.

The memory of dancing with my father provided a picture of what God desires for us to share. He gave me a personal, visual image of what he wanted me to understand about his joy: that it is wrapped up in him as my heavenly Father, that he is the Initiator, the Provider, the Lover, the Strong One. In short, he is to be my leading man in the dance of life. He is the one who will teach me the steps and the ways to hear His  music amidst my daily life.

My father was a hard working man and spent long days in his office and this memory was rare--the only time I remember this kind of time with him.  And maybe I even recreated the memory of him calling me "princess."

Many of us do not have images of fathers who were personal or attentive, but this memory was a picture that God brought to my mind when I was pondering wanting to have a different sort of life--one in which there was the "more" that my creator had whispered about inside my heart, that my longings were based on something he had created me to experience.

But even more, dancing seemed to be a visual picture of what God wants me to do in my soul: he wants me to dance inside my heart, no matter what is going on outside in my circumstances. To dance is to celebrate life, to make merry, to physically live out the reality of internal joy and to walk so much in His presence that His light shines through the dark days.

Psalm 139: 12 is such an anchor to me through many years and seasons of dark times:

"Even the darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You."

He is not influenced by darkness, He is light himself. He will give me hope and fill my darkness with his light, if I will go to Him, rest in Him, leave my circumstances to His wisdom, and learn to live into the joy of His loving care.

I learned this inner worship, this claiming of His reality by faith through so many days.

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118: 24

.It is why I named my first blog, I take Joy, because I have learned that beyond our circumstances, our burdens, our life in a fallen world, He, the creator of life, beauty, love, gentleness is here and He wants us to know His reality.

Those who walk closely with the Lord do have a secret inner joy, a dancing energy just from knowing Him. It is in having him as my partner, in letting him take the lead, that I will be directed around the "dance floor" of my life.

He is the One who will show me the steps, teach me to hear  the music, how to engage my heart with him and to stay in sync with him, the real Source of the music, the dance, and the everlasting joy."  (parts of this article come from Dancing With My Father, which you can find here!)

God is with you today, in dark times and in light times. And He loves you all the time. He is your ever-committed Father and He will teach you, and me, the ways to let Him lead us in our own unique dances of life.

Discipleship is Heart Work (And a New Podcast Series!)

Go into all the world and make disciples....

Jesus, kneeling down in the dusty floor, mingling his hands with toes, dirt and smell, lovingly touching and firmly wiping the feet of His beloved friends, amidst stench, noise and eating, laughing, living. Reaching their hearts, souls and minds with the depth of the call of the kingdom was an embracing of the reality of daily life amongst full-blooded, crusty, men, hungry to fulfill a life's purpose that captivated their deepest longings to see that their lives mattered..

Jesus didn't just talk about having a ministry from a broad, tall pulpit with a resounding microphone, while disappearing between sermons. He lived a deeply personal life with words and instruction as well as integrity and generous love demonstrated in each moment of every day and he served and bowed his knee to meet the needs and desires of those He loved.  He taught compassion, and then he demonstrated it by healing the sick, touching those with leprocy, drinking water with the prostitute, holding and caressing children, feeding those who were hungry.

But even as Jesus took three years off from the work of the universe in order to pass his ministry on to his disciples, to live with them, eat with them, love them, instruct them, so as mothers, if we want the same kind of life-changing impact on our children, it will require the sacrifice of our time, our commitments, and it will be inconvenient and life-consuming. But leaving godly disciples is the greatest work we will ever achieve. As I have said many times before, when I meet Jesus face to face, He will say, "What did you do to invest, love, teach your children the secrets of the kingdom of God so that they will love me and serve me with wholehearted devotion?"

Each of us longs to be a part of a great cause, an epoch story and each of us longs to belong in the hearts of someone in the world who cares for us. We can exist within the mundane moments of motherhood or marriage or work longer if we know and understand that somehow it is meaningful to our over-arching life story and heritage, a history that we are passing on, when we daily stoop to serve, and patiently give of our energy to meet the needs of others.

But we long to know our lives can make a real difference, that our being alive and making right choices isn't just about duty, but about a heart-gripping reality that will make a purposeful impact in the lives of others- and to know that someone cares about our life sacrifices and investment of our time.

We need to recognize these same needs in the heart of our children. "Our children's hearts long ot be a part of a great cause. Training our children for ministry needs to be at the center of everything we are attempting to do with our lives. Serving God and loving Him is not about knowing all of the right rules and keeping them; it is about cultivating compassion in the hearts of our children for a lost world and showing them how they can be a part of His great plans for them to reach their world in their lifetime." The Mom Walk

Jesus called his disciples away from tasks to make an imprint on history, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men!" "Go into the world and make disciples." "These uneducated men have turned the world upside down."

Paul and Peter were willing and joyfully sacrificed their lives because they knew, they deeply understood, they were a part of the movement of the Spirit of God to redeem the world for their creator, they were kingdom laborers. The passion in their heart gave them the power to serve. Service without heart kills the soul.

And so, when we seek to disciple our children, it is cultivating in them a vision for their importance to Christ's work, a hope that they are needed to fulfill a kingdom cause--with their unique personality and skills, and then giving them practice in serving others as they grow up in our homes, which are the center of ministry. It is about them watching us serve and being caught up in the beauty of our loving, giving to, serving and inspiring others from the integrity and compassion of our own hearts and lives, that their hearts will be captured.

Hearing about ministry, seeing ministry taking place and giving them a place to serve and be needed is the process of captivating their hearts with a passion that will last them their whole lives is the process of shaping them into life-long disciples of Jesus.  Discipleship is not about indoctrination, discipleship is heart work.

Kristen Kill and I have been talking about just these things: How to truly disciple your children and to reach their hearts with the truth and reality of Christ. Hope you enjoy this series in our podcast.

Grace for our failures, Newness covering our Flaws (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 3

Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.

BRENNAN MANNING (ABBA’S CHILD)

From a very young age, my youngest daughter Joy never went anywhere without a journal. In her messy and sincere handwriting she chronicled her days, drew pictures, and wrote stories and poems. Sometimes she would climb into my overstuffed chair and read me her entries. To her, life was a story that she had to tell, and as I read the snippets she shared with me I was struck by how enthusiastically and unabashedly she embraced her little stories and memoirs.

Her narratives reveled in the innocent acceptance of both God’s love and the love of her family. We are all in the business of telling a story with our lives.

However, as we get older, sometimes we let voices other than God’s begin to narrate the stories we have to tell.

For many years I allowed critical voices from family and friends dictate how I viewed myself and my story.

"You have made so many mistakes in your past, you can never make up for it."

"Why do you always think of the craziest things to believe and then follow these crazy ideals? You are going to fail and your children will be injured by your lack of wisdom." (critics and family members)

"You fail so often. What right have you to speak or write? If people really knew how flawed and selfish you are at times, they would never want to listen to what you have to say."

"You are not doing enough as a mom and your children are never going to love God or be educated well, because you never accomplish all that you set out to do."

We all have voices in our heads that speak of flaws, fears, guilt, anger--and these thoughts can sometimes take over and bring darkness to our souls.

Culture also became a significant voice in my life constantly making me feel ostracized and uncertain of my countercultural decisions. Often times our critics are our own family members and "believers" in our own arenas. I call them Job's friends--ready to blame  for the things that are going wrong in life when actually God is working at greater purposes.

When we begin to weigh others’ words more heavily than God’s Word, we begin to rehearse narratives about our lives that may not be true. And often, we do not live fruitful or faith-filled Christian lives because instead of looking at God's great capacity to live through us and to accomplish more than we ever could alone, we measure our abilities by our sinful, fallen and flawed self.

Spiritual strength is only found with the Spirit of God living through us--not by us grunting out a works based life that will never measure up. We will never be perfect or adequate on our own, but we are adequate when we walk by faith and live into God's provision for strength, joy, growth and wisdom.

If we are truly to own our lives, we must begin by owning our story and identity spoken to us by our living, loving God.

The secret to owning a new identity is not to try to pretend we are perfect, but to accept our limitations and acknowledge our need for grace.

We all have a mixture of personality traits (good and bad), personal wounds, and sinful habits that make us who we are. Throughout my life, I have often found myself relating to Jesus’s disciple Peter. Like him, I am very sincere, but my mouth often moves faster than my mind. I try very hard to curb my tongue, and then feel incredibly guilty with another slip-up.

It helps me to keep in mind that we live in a fallen world, and try as we might to forget it, we are fallible people; flaws are a part of what it means to be human. Despite my Peter-like personality and weaknesses, I am confident that God is not surprised by my foibles and imperfections, nor even dissuaded from bothering with me because of my failings.

I have long cherished Psalm 103:14, because it reminds me of an important truth that keeps me from giving up: “He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

However, beyond simply accepting our limitations, God wants us to delight in who he intends us to be.

One of the greatest pleasures of raising my children was observing how uniquely and differently God created each of them. I have two extraverts who live verbally, sing, and bring laughter wherever they go. I also have two introverts who are introspective, insightful, and sensitive.

It is my great honor to watch God guide and use them all according to the unique ways he created each of them. As He did with my children, God takes great care with the creation of every person. From eyelashes and earlobes, to heights and weights, to temperaments and traits, He delights in every human he creates—including you!

Learning to accept the special person God has crafted you to be is not prideful; it is an act of faith.

When we can accept who we are—the good and the bad, the fun and the foibles, the common and the quirks—then we can be free to deeply thank and worship the One who designed us out of love for a purpose.

The final element of owning our new identity is letting the deep reality of Christ’s work shape and transform our lives. Isaiah 1:18 describes the work God will do through Christ:

“‘Come now, let us settle the matter,’ says the LORD. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.’”

Jesus’ work on the cross means that all who accept Him as Lord and Savior are redeemed and made clean, “knowing this, that our old self was crucified with [Christ], in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin” (Romans 6:6).

Whatever is in the past stays in the past because when you are “in Christ [you are] a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come” (1 Corinthians 5:17).

We all have many different voices speaking into our lives—spouse, family, friends, church, media, parents, memories. However, too many times the voices we hear speaking to us are our own, narrating opinions and observations that may or may not be true.

Paul seems to understand the nature of those voices inside our heads and hearts when he tells the Christians in Corinth, “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, italics mine). He even suggests that wrong thinking can become a “fortress” that needs to be destroyed (see: 10:3-4).

Our spiritual battle is take those negative thoughts captive and give them to Christ, so our new and true identity can grow and take charge. Listening to the voices of others to determine our worth is a pointless task that will end in disappointment. Only God can truly satisfy, and only in Him can we see our real, redeemed selves. In quietness, and strength, we must learn to listen to the voice that truly knows us and loves us, and can tell us who we really are. We are His.

What is the Ministry of Motherhood? What Really Matters?

I still remember the day years ago when sweet Sarah sat down for a heart to heart with me, tears in her eyes.  The discussion that followed would help me put words to what I believe is the ministry of motherhood--an idea I've written about in the book by that same name.

"Mom, I'm having such doubts in my Christian faith," she began. "So many of the believers I know seem passionless or mediocre, or they've compromised their faith by living immoral or immature lives. I would never believe in God if I had to depend on what I knew about him from many of the people we know!... And so many terrible things have been happening in the world; it's hard to make sense of it. And I want to live a life that's pleasing to Christ, but sometimes I just feel so different from my peers.... And sometimes I wonder if God is really there listening to my prayers at all. Does my life matter to anyone at all?"

I let her pour out her heart without judgment or criticism. Knowing her personal integrity, I was sure her thoughts and feelings came not from a rebellious heart but from an honest desire to find answers only God could give. When she had finished talking, I assured her that God was big enough to sustain her questions and doubts and that he would make himself known to her in his time. Her spirit slowly calmed down.

"You know, Mom, my doubts haven't really driven me away from God; they're driving me closer to him. I really want to have an authentic faith. I want to know the real God who created the stars and gave us the gift of beauty and music and great thoughts. I want a God who is real and worthy of my desire for greatness and purpose. I'm not looking for religion; I want a close and true relationship worthy of my whole life commitment! I want what you and Daddy have. I feel like I'm just beginning to understand what you have been teaching me for so many years."

I realized then, as I have realized before, what my daughter really needs from my husband and me in this fallen, mixed-up world. It's the same thing that all my four children need—and that your children need as well.

They don't need sweet platitudes of faith that will momentarily placate their emotions. They need the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical world-view and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship. They need an unwavering, internal moral and spiritual compass that will help them weather today's storms and tomorrow's and will guide them for the rest of their lives. They also need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out, so they will have a pattern to follow.

The process of providing such gifts to my children is what I've come to think of as the ministry of motherhood. I believe it's central to the calling of anyone God has privileged to bring children into this world.

If you are a mother, it's your ministry too.

The Ministry of Motherhood, which focuses on the ministry of Christ to his disciples and how we can learn from that model, is available on Amazon!

A Little Bit of This and That, A Momheart podcast

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."

Anne of Green Gables

I am loving long walks, golden and red leaves intertwined on my pathways, the sunny days with cool air and the joy of sharing this at home with my sweet Joy and Clay.

Joy and I are reading an Elizabeth Goudge book out-loud.

Long conversations pondering life and what matters have filled my week with my two boys.

Sitting on my deck with Clay and Joy sipping tea and eating warm almond bear-claws.

Sitting with a dear friend in my rocking chairs while catching up on life.

Skyping with Sarah and seeing the insides of her English apartment and treasuring our time to catch up.

Teaching my monthly Bible study and getting to know new women and sharing lives together.

Praying for my children.

Playing music and sitting in flickering candlelight early mornings while reading and pondering Nehemiah and wanting to learn how to more worthily worship God each day.

Walking miles and miles each week through the downtown streets with lovely Victorian homes.

Chatting with Clay every day about life, dreams, ministry, the future.

Making citrus salmon, roasted potatoes and a light greens salad.

These are some of the things filling my days.

What about you? Hope you enjoy our podcast this week. Kristen and I have so much fun but we seem to fly from one subject to another. Thanks for the amazing comments and letters we have gotten to encourage us to keep going. We love hearing from you.

Working on getting the image just right. Kristen and I are both idealistic--not technical! :)

Place Yourself in the Company of Excellent People and Become More Excellent

As I prepare to launch a new book that is really the story of the Clarkson home and family history, (coming out February 2) and also launching our last Mom Heart Conferences, I have been pondering how satisfying it has been to my soul to see God do way more than we could ever ask or think. To seek His heart and then to foray into His work for our family has been a lifelong work that has carried us so many places we could never have imagined.

When we began the mom's conferences 20 years ago, by faith renting a hotel, and putting together messages, writing out our passion, taking a risk that others wanted to hear it, we could not have known what God would do. He took our best offerings, our fish and loaves, and made them more than we could ever believe. All He needed was our willing heart.

Now, almost 40,000 women have attended conferences, and we have seen about 2 generations of moms encouraged and inspired. So now, of course, Clay and I are pondering what should follow this. (Stay tuned, we may have another kind of conference we are pondering for the next 10 years, something much simpler that we could take more places and do more easily. No we are not totally ready to call it a day.) 

So this year, at our conferences, we will be remembering all that God has done, hearing from women all over the world whose lives and legacy has been changed by understanding the Biblical design of motherhood, and whose children have been shaped for God and His kingdom by capturing this message for their children in their home. We want to inspire women to think  of how God will use their own story to change the world.

Our children will be there to share what most impacted them from our home years, what influenced them to want to love and serve God, and their favorite traditions. Women from around the world, who have attended conferences and raised their families will be sharing stories, wisdom and insight about what matters the most in raising a godly legacy. Music and the hundreds of offerings of children's books, a great formal lunch and a few more surprises make this year the best! 

But the conferences are filling up quickly, so be sure to register soon and reserve your hotel room so you can join us for this amazing last year. Register HERE for the conference and for those who want to come to the morning Possibilitea, register HERE. (Please help us reach women in your area by sharing this in your networks.) 

Now for the rest of the story! :)

Sheldonian Library, Oxford

(The library where my girls studied!)

Just about a year ago, I visited my girls, who were both studying in Oxford. But what I was thinking about as I decided to write about legacy for this Monday, is the value of intentionally putting ourselves in places where wise women and men can draw us to our best. Let me know what you think about this article. I love hearing from all of you.

Ah, to walk the ancient streets of Oxford for a week inspired me just about a year ago. I had one free airline ticket and a half week of free hotels and meals, so I grabbed the opportunity to come see two of my favorite people! (Sarah and Joy)

I wondered if the pressure would be too much for my girls--20 2000 word papers in 3 1/2 months--approximately. So much of what we had done was idealistic mixed with chores, ear infections, fusses, and somehow I never felt like I was preparing my children enough.

Positive Peer Pressure

One of the thoughts that has struck a chord in my heart, through every meeting and lots of conversations with Sarah and Joy and their friends, is that they love being here because they are being stretched in such excellent ways. They all feel that they are becoming more of what they were designed to be by having others challenge them to work harder, use mental muscles, to grow beyond where they have been.

When one is in the company of others who challenge them to become their best, there is a sense of honor and gratification that comes from straining towards the positive expectation that people have communicated they can live into. Because the teachers expect the papers to be turned in, the standard is clear writing and an ability to defend their ideas, both girls are working all the time, but instead of finding it a negative experience, they both love the environment. The conversations we shared assured me that their brains are fairly bursting with ideas, understanding and convictions.

I could actually, almost, see their brains growing. It made me wish that I had been so challenged in my own life and it created in me a new hunger to learn and grow in knowledge! The spirit of enthusiasm was almost contagious.

"Mama, it is doing a paper that seems impossible and getting positive feedback that makes me keep going--the integrity to do the work independently out of my own integrity and then seeing that I am capable of so much more than I thought. "

I could actually, almost, see their brains growing.

They actually like being stretched to the hilt and coming out sharpened by the company they are keeping. Most all of the people are here because they want to be excellent in their field and the stakes are high. It is a miraculous privilege that God worked out in an amazing way for them to be here. But the exposure to great thoughts and capable people challenges them to live into their own potential.

"He who walks with the wise will be wise."

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

This has caused me to think about how this applies to our own lives as women. I will be writing about virtue, how to acquire it, how to practice it, envision it, in the weeks ahead,

Because I have seen that the life vision of a woman determines the growth and character  of a women.

This whole aspect of becoming the person/woman God gave us the capacity to become, and to "grow into" is profound in its implications.

If we surround ourselves with others more excellent, whose lives may challenge our own and instruct us beyond our current levels of maturity and capacity, we will always grow and become more excellent, even as my girls are straining towards more excellence by being in the company of those better than themselves in writing and education. It gives them a goal to reach toward.

Don't conform to the world of mediocrity--God created you with such capacity to grow, to deepen, to show the excellencies of His design in and through your life.

This reminded me of a meeting I had this summer with a mentor/older, wiser woman who challenged me by her own life.

Antonio Mancini

"From almost the first few months of marriage, I knew that my life would be difficult. My husband didn't know how to love me and I was lonely most of my life. People supposed that we had a vibrant marriage, but he could never show affection, romance or kindness. But that was the place, this impossible place, where I knew God wanted me to flourish."

Leaves were swirling off the aspen trees as gentle winds caught their handles and purple clouds gathered outside the window. But inside, the crackling fire in the heart, candles lit and a pot of tea steaming, I felt safe, wrapped in a cloak of security and acceptance.

I had occasion to meet with an older missionary I had long admired and was so honored to share this hour together. But it wasn't just the atmosphere that comforted me deep within, it was her story. It is always easy to suppose that godliness is easier for some than it is for others, and I had supposed this about her.

My friend told me:

"I don't know why I am telling you this part of my story at this time, but somehow it may be useful to your own life. I was young and idealistic when I got married, and it did not take long to realize that my husband and I were very different. He has never been able to be romantic or affectionate or kind. His own background prohibited it. And so, others supposed that our missionary work was my greatest accomplishment--what they could observe on the outside. But my real story of spiritual work will be the faithfulness I chose to live out one day at a time when no one but God knew the work of faith that was going on in hidden places.

Most of my days were unnoticed, tedious, the same as yesterday and the day before.

The shaping of children's hearts without input, help or accountability often gave me a sense of insecurity, especially when I knew I had messed up with anger, impatience or despair."

"But it is what you practice, day after day, that builds your integrity, your character, your strength, your message--what you do when no one is looking.

And so this is the place I became spiritually strong. God gave me a testing ground for my soul--this place of being faithful, generous, loving even if I received nothing in return.

This place of difficulty became my greatest lifetime glory. Never underestimate the hidden, unseen acts of obedience."

My own life has been full of struggles of all sorts. Some I write about and some I keep private, to honor those personally involved in my life. Seems like many life issues were not naturally easy for me. And so understanding the deep struggles my friend endured, helped me to feel understood in my own life puzzle.

She had lived the mundane, the draining days, the fears that assail, the insecurities, just like I had in my life. The messages she spoke about were even more meaningful to me now.

Somehow, it is easy for us to think that if others are strong, or leaders in their field, that they naturally came by this godly courage. Yet, my friend's life reminded me that her excellence was built in a real, day by day life. Her messages came out of the experience of seeking God for wisdom amidst challenging, overwhelming circumstances. Her own excellence drove me, even at this stage of my life, to keep stretching and straining towards a more excellent life.

But what I have found over the years,  that the strongest and greatest people I have come to know  became godly because they mounted up over their challenges. But they were able to be strong because they had an understanding of basic Biblical virtues that held them fast, gave them a way forward, informed their decisions.

I know from my own life, it was those times I was tempted to give up, to run away, to be bitter, and yet chose to do the right thing, where the integrity of my own testimony and story was built. In my 60's, I constantly seek ways to grow, to excel, to love more and to live more intentionally for Jesus. My friend's story kept me wanting to move forward on that path.  Seeing that she faced her tests head on and made a place of beauty out of her faith, her fortitude and her personal commitment within the limitation of her story, gave me comfort and the impetus to keep going faithfully through my own life puzzles. This is what deeply encouraged me.

Our circumstances were different. The challenges in our lives were not exactly the same. But to know she had faced her deepest fears, darknesses, confessed her sin to God, strengthened the weak places in her life, faced her selfishness head on and found God's grace to live a flourishing story, is what  encouraged to continue to push through the puzzle of my own life.

A virtuous woman, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31

My friend was speaking about personal integrity--the character that serves one through life to lead them to practice loving, working hard, being loyal to family and the demanding tasks that involves, choosing to believe in God's goodness in the dark times, serving generously--all of these traits are what come from a life of virtuous living.

Virtue was a concept that captivated the imagination of spiritual leaders in the Victorian Era. A simple definition is moral excellence. Another ancient source that I found suggests that the root of virtue is really "Man Power" or "man strength."

A Need for Virtue

What is Christian virtue? So many lists, books, articles I have been reading reveal different aspects of a Christians look at virtue. However, I believe that since God created us to be like Him, to reflect the character of Christ, Christian virtue is becoming like Christ in our character, moral excellence, faith and obedience.

Virtue arises from the heart. Whatever we cherish there, we will become. Envisioning moral excellence, the specific attributes of Jesus' life that showed us the depth of His love and wisdom, then we shall become more excellent. If we desire to live nobly, with integrity, to be excellent, to love generously, to worship Christ truly, then we will desire to live this out in the moments of our lives, and this will be the grid from which we live and breathe.

However, virtue is more than just a heart attitude. Virtue is all of these attributes lived out in an obedient, disciplined life. It is the doing of noble things we have cherished in our heart. We have spiritual capacity, even as we have muscular capacity. Yet, muscles only become strong with use. And so it is with our virtue. It is a capacity that grows stronger, more mature with practice, daily, yearly over a lifetime.

And so the doing of the noble things we can conceive in our hearts is a reflection of how to acquire a virtuous life.

Ignorance and lack of Biblical education destroys spiritual potential.

Hosea 4: 6, teaches us, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."

When the voices we listen to are relative to scripture, and compromising in nature, then we lose the vision of holiness- and become like the other compromising people surrounding us. Yet, seeking to find and surround ourselves with the strongest Christian women, seeking to practice holiness, wanting to grow in wisdom and knowledge is the knowledge that gives life instead of killing our soul. God is our instructor and wants to stretch us to the sacred life, one set aside for His purposes, a life consecrated that is fuller, better, more fulfilling, capturing eternal purposes.

And so, the same for our children. If we are merely living life with them as a chore to do, a duty to fulfill on a ho hum basis, then our lives will reflect our limited goals. But if we desire them to live into the potential God has placed in their lives, then we will have energy for the task and knowledge to understand how to stretch them in character and virtue which will also stretch ourselves.

People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray. Proverbs 10:17

I pray my girls will continue walking the pathways of discipline that they may grow fully into their potential.

I pray you, too, will find your challenges, a place of great blessing in the long view of your life, as you grow stronger each.

Controlling Your Chaos (Own Your Life Friday Ch. 2)

I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold ... the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another.

SHAUNA NIEQUIST (COLD TANGERINES)

I love, love, love autumn. And so I am sharing some of my home photos with you today--in no order, but just fun pics I have been taking around my house this fall.

The sunny but cool days with a carpet of leaves to crunch under my foot and the glory of reds, golds, yellows and orange singing from every tree fills me to the brim with happiness. I am taking time to enjoy and breathe in the beauty. Each day since I have been home, (even though my suitcase is not totally unpacked and my house not wholly straightened), I have sipped tea on my front porch in front of my aspens and paused to notice the beauty.

I am also Owning my Life this fall by saying no to some commitments. My daughter, Joy, is here for a few months and I am drinking in the pleasure of her being here again as often as I can. We two are kindred spirits, and spend our time together giggling, chattering and enjoying the same things. I am also in the midst of writing a new book or two, (that just came my way), even though my newest book has not yet been released. (And I will tell you about it soon--as it is one of my favorites!)

So, I may not be able to do as many podcasts as I might have if she was not home, (sorry! But Kristen and I have some already planned for you)

And I do not get to all of my correspondence. (just too much to do and too few hours, but I soooo love hearing from you. I just do not always get to answer back, as the day is over before I get to do all I want to do.)

But this year, I am seeking to breathe in peace, to be centered, to love well each day.

It means I cannot do everything or please every voice in my life, but I am happy to be living with a peaceful heart for choosing the commitments I think will be most important in the long run.  

Now, I am clearing moments in my days to enjoy her and taking time to write messages in new books that I think will last long after I am not writing any more. (Thanks to my publisher, Tyndale, who keeps wanting more.)

What about you? What are you saying "no" to? What are you saying yes to? How are you controlling the chaos, or the "too busy" days? I hope this article will encourage you, and I hope you will take time this weekend to figure out how you want to Own Your Fall and home this year, so you can breathe peace each and every day.

Today's article:

Controlling Your Chaos

Baking chocolate chip cookies for the first time is a rite of passage in our family. I can remember the first time I helped my youngest son crack eggs, melt butter, and measure out dry ingredients. His little chest puffed with pride as he busied around the kitchen.

At one point, I turned around to answer the phone, and in the space of five seconds I heard a click, a whir, a “poof!” and a distressed five-year-old yelp. I turned around to see the kitchen enveloped in a cloud of flour, and my little baker boy with a look of surprise and desperation written in his furrowed eyebrows.

You can imagine my quick response. I dashed over, turned off the mixer, wiped off the flour from his terror-white face, put the lid on and helped him use the mixer correctly.

The natural response to chaos should be to stop it, clean up the effects of chaos, assess and fix the problem, and carry on. However, I think that when we encounter chaos in life, we often do not respond this way.

(At sunset, looking out over my porch from my rocking chair.)

I so often hear women wanting to know how to “find peace in the chaos,” rather than taming the chaos itself.

Imagine if, upon discovering the whirling, open blender, I said to my son, “Now, let’s just try to create peace in this chaos.” If we approach the chaos of our lives this way, we will either try to ignore the reality of it at our own peril, or we will focus only on the chaos and become caught in a life of damage-control.

Rather, we need to respond to it realistically, managing it wisely and objectively. The goal is a rich and fruitful life of living for the kingdom despite the reality of chaos. To begin managing the chaos in our lives, we must learn to identify the sources of chaos, isolate the voices that keep us from owning our lives, and learn to build our lives on a good foundation. Sources of chaos can be different in every person’s life.

Perhaps you have difficulty drawing boundaries and saying “no,” and that creates a life of chaotic attempts to please everyone by responding to their requests and needs. Perhaps you are an uncontrolled spender who finds yourself under pressure because of the fruits of your lack of frugality.

Perhaps you are not blessed with the gift of organization and your stuff, records, closet, and life are out of control.

Perhaps your calendar controls you, rather than you controlling it.

Whatever your sources of chaos, they cannot be managed until you acknowledge their power and presence in your life.

Once you have pinpointed sources of chaos in your life, you can become proactive and strategic in finding ways to manage chaos. Perhaps, as in the case of my sweet boy and the mixer, this means you must “turn off” the source of chaos for a while to reassess your priorities.

Identifying and strategically handling the chaos in your life will enable you to be in control of the chaos rather than letting the chaos of your life control you. Sometimes it may be as simple as separating yourself from the source of chaos long enough to make a new plan.

Often the chaos around us is not caused by uncontrollable circumstances, but by the incessant and confusing voices that call us in a thousand different directions. With all of the voices of media, friends, family, and church, we can become paralyzed in our good intentions to own our lives. The sheer volume of voices telling us how we ought to live or who we ought to be can become a chaos in itself.

I have often said that in the absence of biblical convictions even good people will go the way of culture. To truly own your life, you must identify the voices and messages that you are allowing to let shape your thoughts and emotions, and influence your life.

Before we can own our lives, we must learn to let God and his Word be the voice we listen to most closely. Part of owning life is living life, and life is inevitably messy once in a while.

Many years I ago, I reconciled myself to the fact that life will always be full of storms, ear-infected children, and flat tires. However, I also learned that the ability to handle the unexpected waves of life boils down to having a solid foundation from which to engage with life. Jesus speaks about building our lives on the rock of His words (Matthew 7:24-27).

To own our lives then means that not only do we manage chaos, but we develop and live out of strong biblical foundations. To stay strong in the storms of life, we must have a life founded securely on the rock of biblical truth.

May you find a way to bring order to your life, getting rid of chaos, and enjoy these glorious days and this season of life.

Chapter 2 of Own Your Life speaks of what it takes to control the chaos. Thanks for all of you who have written lately to tell me how much this book helped you. Hope you are enjoying these reviews of the content. (For those who have asked me, the content in the book is different than the content of this blog.)

The Work of A Mama's Hands

Maybe your hands are weary today as you pat heads, fold clothes, stir soup, and scrub dishes.  But the work your hands are doing is priceless work, work your children will remember.  Sharing from The Mission of Motherhood today. I hope it's an encouragement to you!

As I look back to the memories of my childhood, a strong image that comes to my mind is that of my mother's loving hands. I thought they were the most beautiful in the world.

In many ways, I still feel that way.
  Because I had been a premature baby, I was often sick with a variety of respiratory illnesses, including chronic asthma and occasional bouts with pneumonia. My memories of these illnesses, however, are mostly pleasant, because my mother would gently stroke my brow as she talked softly or told me stories and gave me her full attention. I remember feeling very loved from such focused attention.

At other times, when I fidgeted in church services, I remember my mother's hands massaging my own, pulling and squeezing each of my fingers as she quietly played finger games with me. As a young child, sitting next to her in a big overstuffed chair, I would watch her hands as she read to me from an oversized children's book. Her fingers would point to the enticing, heart-delighting pictures and turn the pages of the large volumes as we leisurely sat together and talked and read.

And during the period when I was having a recurring nightmare—one I still remember!—I especially remember the comfort of my mother's hands when she came to my bedside. She would take my hand in hers as she knelt to pray with me, soothing away my fears and comforting me as she entreated God to take all of my bad thoughts away.

Now, many, many years removed from my mother and a thousand miles away, these memories of my mother's hands are still strong in my heart.  Those hands are now old and wrinkled and aching with arthritis, yet still, as an adult, I often wish she were with me to stroke my brow in the midst of illness and exhaustion, to massage away the frustration and boredom of tedious days, to open windows to the world while reading to me in a big old chair, and to take my hand in prayer and cast away all the fears of my life. The touch of a mother's hand and the power of a mother's love indeed has carried me through many moments of my life.

As I look to the needs of children of today, I am convinced they need the same things from their mothers that I needed—and received—from mine. They need not only the gentle touch of a mother's hands, but her focus and her attention on a daily basis. They need a champion and a cheerleader, someone who has the time and energy to give encouragement along life's way and comfort in dark times. They need a directive voice to show them how to live.

These needs are not frivolous demands. They're part of the way God designed children. And meeting those needs is not an option or a sideline for mothers, but part of his design as well.

Now, my mama has passed away. When I wrote this 12 years ago, I was in the midst of remembering the difference her touch and soothing affection made in my life. How I wish for just an hour when I would have her eyes looking at me with love, her hands squeezing and massaging my own, and her voice of approval and affection. Just one more time with my mama.

But the memories still carry me now, knowing that she had to make choices to give me these memories--choices to "see" me when she could have been distracted or busy with her demanding life. Today, I am going to reach out to all of my own adult children because I want them to have one more moment and touch of my mama love.

I hope this story was an encouragement to you--and that you enjoyed this peek into The Mission of Motherhood .

If you'd like to read more, you may purchase a copy at the link!

Because I said so....The Role of Honor in Character Development

Alwin Arnegger

"Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul."

Proverbs 29:17

Idealistic artists chattering, drinking coffee, discussing every kind of art including great music, writing, drawing, sculpting filled the oxygen of my creative mind with much food for thought this weekend. Every year, for the past few, we have had the privilege of attending Hutchmoot, in Nashville. Always a pleasure to meet new kindred spirits as well as old friends. Great to breathe in the air of creative types.

Clay and I were asked to speak about creating The Imaginal Home: Creating  an Atmosphere to Cultivate Creativity. What a great time we had interacting with so many about this issue.

Though we covered many topics very quickly in the short amount of time we had for our seminar, one of the thoughts that came to my mind, after talking to a number of parents,  is how important components of character are in cultivating children to develop their talent.

We all have conversations, don't we,  that begin in one area and then lead to another which then takes a rabbit trail to another? So my conversations this weekend started with cultivating creative children and ended up on a whole different subject--we started out speaking about raising children who cultivate imagination and develop artistic talents and skills and we ended on the importance of character and honor to the process of becoming excellent in any field--especially in the realm of Christian artistry.

So, it this blog seems a little rabbit-traily--it is because it is so!

The Role of Teaching Your Children to Follow your Instruction

Of course in our session this weekend, we covered many traditions, values, books, lessons, tools that we used in our home to raise 4 children who are vested professionally in the arts. But one of the most important starting points--in training children in any discipline, is teaching them to submit to instruction.

Often mamas say to me, "My child just doesn't want to do what I tell them to do." 

"My children resist me and I can't make them do anything they don't want to do."

Of course children resist the instruction of parents--they are children and they have their own little wills that must be gently trained and confronted, over and over again. Just because we don't see results of training children every day, all the time, does not mean that your children are not learning and growing. Training a child to have godly character takes lots of time.

But it will be very difficult to teach our children any skill or discipline until they have learned to follow our instruction. They must practice obeying so they will be used to honoring us and responding to our teaching. The finest artists, writers, sculptors, are those who are disciplined and have learned to work hard. We all have dreams or ideas of something we wish we could accomplish or do in life. Yet, the challenging work of becoming an effective artist, or an accomplished person in any work,  is directly related to the character and integrity one possesses.

So often we hear grace-based discipline thrown around and written about as a philosophy of child discipline. Many would say our book, Heart-felt Discipline is a grace-based book.

However, I think there is some confusion in thinking that "grace-based" means lenient or non-discipline for a child. Scripture teaches that all children and adults need instruction, training, correction, admonishment, leadership! As with adults, so with children.

We must learn to say no to our children again and again--just because we said so......We are their parents, we are the adults, we are (hopefully the wise ones) who are to lead them into paths of righteousness.

God, as a father, also says no to us, often! He is concerned that we learn to listen to His will, to obey His instruction. Only as we bow our knees to His will, will we be able to live into our capacity for work, spiritual strength, accomplishment.

One of the first principles our children were to learn in our home was to obey Clay and me. All children balk, because like us, they are selfish at heart and need to move from self-absorption to self-control, from immature self-serving ways to mature, servanthood ways of life. That means they will have to learn the meaning of the word "no" and that training to maturity will be a long process.

Over and over again, "No, not this, THIS."

And sometimes as parents of teachers or mentors in ministry, we forget that learning is a long process of repetition. But excellence demands that we move forward in the journey from immaturity to maturity, from uneducated to educated, little by little.

How in the world does this relate to cultivating creative children?

Probably the most important wisdom I wanted our children to understand was that God was holy, righteous, just, perfect--above all of us in every aspect of His being. I wanted them to learn to honor God, to bow their knee before Him in every decision, every value, every action in life. In short, I wanted them to understand what it meant to worship God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength was to have a heart that was willing to obey God's desires and commandments.

But this kind of worship begins with a heart that understands submission and obedience to us, the parents they could see and understand.

And so, our children were taught to understand that they were to honor us in their hearts by learning to respect us in their obedience. If they learned the pattern of obeying Clay and me, if they learned to respect us, then they would have a heart that was ready to submit to God and to honor Him in their thoughts, actions and values as adults.

They learn to submit to us and to honor us so that they could learn to bow their knees to the living God. The ability to learn, to take instruction, to be humble enough to respond to admonition is a foundational requirement to becoming skillful in life.

Sometimes this meant we had to take hours to get to the bottom of what was going on. We taught our children to talk to us, to learn to articulate what was going on in their hearts. Securing obedience is not a power play of authoritarian force. Securing obedience is an issue of learning to get to the heart of children, learning to listen to them, learning to teach them truths little by little. Sometimes our children need a good sleep from being exhausted, not a lecture about how to obey. Sometimes a confused teenager needed something delicious that was warm to drink, understanding what was going on in their teen heart.  Teaching honor meant we honored our children by the ways we spoke to them, treated them. Teaching obedience is a long process of a gracious loving parent gently leading their children to a submissive heart, but requiring obedience and honor as a way of life.

Sometimes in the early years, the pattern of obedience needed to be learned without lots of discussion. "Mama wants you to do this or that, and you pick them up in your arms and help them do the task that was requested. But it is a pattern of instruction that deeply leaves a pattern of submission out of a heart that wants to honor, because they have been served and loved.

All children who have been trained to humility, obedience and honor have teachable hearts and can more easily take instruction. Children who are humble and obedient learn to receive instruction. They learn self-discipline as they practice honor and obedience which leads them to a life of practicing developing the muscle of self-discipline. It is all a process of laying foundations of character that lead to a life that will be disciplined to work hard, to take instruction and to have humility--all of which can prepare them to follow this process in becoming skillful at any type of work or art.

One of the basics of raising creative children is raising children who have learned to listen, to obey, to follow directions, to practice what they have learned, to work hard.

But the beginning of all of these aspects of becoming excellent at any aspect of artistry, starts with a heart that is familiar with respecting those who would instruct him.

"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you."

Deut. 5:16

Honor is the attitude of the heart that we seek to cultivate in ourselves as well as our children. Honor in the heart leads to submission in behavior. Our children were taught to respect us--period! They learned to obey us because we were their parents. Period. If they learned not to question our instruction, then they would learn not to question God's requirements and instruction to them. It is a process of growth over time. Parents get to model God and His ways to teach their children to learn first hand, in their every day moments of life, how to walk with God by the ways they have learned to relate to each other and their parents in their homes.

  In our home, we always came to child discipline knowing that the goal of our instruction was to teach and train our children to obey us, to obey God, to submit to instruction so that they could grow and become strong inside, and live into their God-given potential.  As Proverbs says, Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul."

Last weekend, when I was with our boys in New York City, they indeed brought delight to my soul. They spoke of the Lord, of ideas they are pondering, books they read, thoughts that inspired them, and they giggled with me over stories of life--they were such a delight to my soul. We have mutual respect, and have cultivated the deepest of friendships--that started with learning to honor each other, by learning to honor Clay and me. This kind of soul that was alive with light, truth, ideas, goodness came from a life-time of being trained and learning to respond to wisdom and instruction.

Serving our children, loving them, investing lots of personal time, considering their age and personality were all a part of our very close, personal relationship with them. We considered them personally when we gave instruction and sought to understand their hearts every day, all the time. But, always, we sought to build our relationship on a foundation of honor, teaching them to honor us, because that is what God requires.

And when a child learns to listen and obey, they learn to rule over their spirits, to practice honoring others by the ways they speak, the ways they behave and the ways they relate to others.

Giving them these tools prepared them to succeed in adult relationships, in work and in life.

By learning to honor us, our children learned to honor other adults, teachers, trainers, and to be able to submit to instruction--and eventually, after many years of practice--to honor each other.

Honor lead them to learn how to work with people, to work with others in business, to lead others in classes they taught, to influence others and to become good friends and partners.

I know this is a long, stream of consciousness article, but I do hope there is some value to what I have written. Not enough time for editing tonight! Still traveling and not enough time.

So I am off with my sweet friends tonight in Nashville for a bonfire with Clay, but wanted to share a few thoughts that were mulling in my head. We shall return to podcasts soon--but I have to be home to do that.

Grace and peace to your days and to your week.