Is the Christmas Mess Worth It?

The traditional Christmas tree cake, for about 25 years.

Ideals often drive us to commit to more than is reasonable to accomplish. I always think I can do more than I can, because I didn't always understand the limitations of my children's ages. I didn't build margin for outside, inevitable life issues that require time and attention. And often, I didn't take into account my own limitations.

At 62, I look back over the years and can still feel the pressure, stress, busyness, interruptions, and frustration with messes, irritations and disappointed expectations.  Yet, last night, after our Christmas open house, I am so grateful that every year, we invested in hospitality and parties that have ministered to hundreds of people over many years.

Deep in my heart, I grew to believe that every person in my life had a need to be loved, known, validated, encouraged. Of course, I am limited in time and energy and resources, yet, our family decided many years ago that we would use our home as a place of refuge, encouragement, instruction and love for those God would bring into our lives. We shared the understanding that God made us to be those who would reach out, extend His grace and love and to be the lights others needed. So, our parties became for us a way to extend his love and grace to those in our lives. And because we moved 17 times, often, our Christmas's were pretty lonely. We needed to reach out to others so that we would not feel alone.

For years, all of us Clarksons, Clay down to Joy, have pulled together for each party. Boys setting up chairs, all of us  shopping, putting together treats, lighting candles, putting on music, cooking and cleaning again. What I truly see now, is that, because this was the habit of our lives, the oxygen that my children breathed year after year, they are all great at using their spaces for hospitality--be it a small dorm room, an apartment or a cottage shared with roommates. Traditions practiced and practiced over and over again become second nature.

When my children were "littles" I did not have as many Christmassy things and most of the time we would eat off of paper plates and our gatherings were child friendly. Of course now that Clay and I have been married for almost 35 years, we have inherited stuff from parents and grandparents and years of "collecting" stuff that accumulates and so we use everything we have grown to enjoy over many years. But simple is always a goal so that we don't get too worn out. Preparing ahead little by little also makes gatherings possible no matter what age the family. Some years, though, when illness strikes or a hard year has come, just staying alive is great. But sharing home with someone else almost always feeds the heart at some level.

Living through the messes is definitely worthwhile when it is building a legacy of love and hospitality.

Our parties include:

*A Mom's tea where each women brings a savory dish to share and a sweet to share and a mug or tea cup that is their favorite.

*A Mother-daughter-friend tea for close friends

*An open house where everyone brings snacks to share, we provide the drinks, and we visit and then end on a Carol sing each year.

*A progressive dinner with the closest of friends where we go to different houses for a different course. (appetizers/salad at one family's home; main meal at another/ desert at the final home!) This is always a wonderful time of fun and giggles as we traverse all over the north Colorado Springs area to each other's homes and have tiny little gifts to share.

This is tonight--so no photos yet. But, now after being faithful after all these years, we are all so thankful for memories made and friendships slowly built by the rhythms of sharing life together.

Home! This is the place where after all of these years, friends look forward to these times together--times to worship, pray for one another, to remember the years of life events we have shared. At the beginning it seemed like we were always the ones who had to give and give--but the giving became friendships, memories, support systems and a legacy of our children learning to cultivate a heart for ministry.

I can't wait to share Sarah's and my ponderings about home in our new book. If you need a last minute gift to share, you might consider The Life-giving Home and the planner/Bible study! Then we have a post card you can send to let your friends know it is coming.

Celebrate Your Friends with A Recipe for Christmas Biscotti!

Over thirty years ago, I found myself walking on frigid streets in Vienna with snow dancing all around as I found my way to a small Christmas gathering at an apartment of a close friend. Steaming cups of coffee with froth foaming brought warmth back to my body. Fresh out-o- the-oven were almond cookies that I was to taste for the first time. Being welcomed to the home of a friend when my family was thousands of miles and an ocean away, warmed my lonely heart.

Since then, gathering friends together with something warm and sweet and mugs of warm coffee or tea has always brought me heart-opening times with women all over the world. I believe God created something uniquely special to transform hearts amidst feasting and drawing close over food and drink. Now, this recipe of biscotti is one of my favorites. And I still love having friends over for that heart to heart sharing in such a way. Make time for your friends and heart-filling moments this season. Make a memory that you can visit for many years to come. And enjoy my tradition and recipe.

If there is one thing I am apprehensive to do in the kitchen, living in Colorado at an altitude of 7,500 elevation, is baking! So I try to pick things that won't fail me and leave me in tears after attempting to pour my heart and soul into butter, eggs, and sugar...

The answer: Christmas Biscotti! It works every time and also gets us in the Christmas spirit. Who doesn't like a warm cup of cocoa, tea, or coffee to dip their cookie into? Although these cookies are not your chewy, soft variety, they ARE the dipping kind!

Biscotti is a very popular Italian cookie that is baked twice to give it an extra crispy crunch! I will share our favorite Christmas Biscotti recipe with you, so that if you can relate to my baking fears, you will be able to overcome any baking hazards with this recipe!

One batch makes 2 dozen or more cookies. This is a perfect addition to your Christmas cookie tray or gift tins. We love to plop down on the couch with a warm cozy blanket, tea or cocoa in hand, and a few of these delightful cookies, while listening to a Christmas Advent or watching a favorite Christmas movie!

Christmas Biscotti

Ingredients:

1/2 cup pecans (or almonds!), chopped and toasted

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

8 tablespoons of butter, softened

2 eggs, room temp.

1 teaspoon vanilla (In Austria, I learned to love Almond flavoring--you can use that instead.)

2 teaspoons of sugar for topping / chocolate for drizzling on top / anything you can think of to make it your own!

Biscotti logs in the oven

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Chop nuts and place on baking sheet and bake for 6-7 minutes until lightly toasted. Remove pecans from pan and cool. In large bowl, combine flour, baking powder and cinnamon; set aside. In mixing bowl, beat butter and 3/4 cup sugar until creamy.

Beat in eggs and vanilla or almond extract. Add flour mixture; mix well. Stir in pecans.  Divide dough in half and form each half into a 7x2 inch log. Lightly spray bar pan or cookie sheet with nonstick cooking spray. Place each log crosswise on sheet or pan about 4 inches apart. Sprinkle with sugar.

Bake 30 minutes. Remove pan to cooling rack; let logs cool in pan for 15 or more minutes until completely cool. Carefully remove logs to cutting board and using a serrated knife, gently cut logs diagonally into 1/2 inch thick slices.

Arrange slices upright in pan/cookie sheet, about 1 inch apart. Bake 20-25 minutes or until dry and crisp. Cool completely on cooling rack. *Add any special touches, like drizzled chocolate after cooled. Store in tightly covered container. Yield: About 2 dozen cookies.

Now, get out your favorite mug and make some delectable tea, coffee or cider and enjoy a few minutes of Christmas peace. Better yet, do it with a friend, your husband or even your children who are your best friends. Best moment of the day! Enjoy.

Finding God's Design for Our Homes: The First Christmas Family

Early this morning, while I was still in bed, a friend called me on my cell phone. A young mom of 4, her plate was full with work, family, an ill family member, money issues, and weariness from dealing with her teenager.

All of the stresses in life can seem even more overwhelming at Christmas. We imagine that somehow our lives are unusual because we fight to maintain a "peaceful" spirit of Christmas in a desire to honor the advent of our Lord, and yet, our weariness and moments of the demands of life get the best of us. None of us has a perfect home, a perfect plan, perfect children, a perfect marriage, and yet, the work of building our ideals in the direction of God's design matters every day, all the time.

As my friend and I concluded our phone call, I prayed with her, and we both acknowledged how imperfect our worlds were, and yet, how grateful we had lived long enough to see that our faith and tiny steps of faith had built redeeming stories in both of our lives. It reminded me of another time I saw into the heart of a mama much like me--who sometimes looked at her failures more than the grace of God through her in living out her love through motherhood.

How amazing that we remember, at Christmas, that even Jesus, the perfect son of God, was placed into a family, into the arms of a mother, who sang to him, nursed him, loved him and taught him to love the word of God. Perhaps God was saying, "Yes, family is the best way to bring righteousness in the world. Even in the life of my own son, this fragile, dependent babe, came so innocently coming into the dark world to save it."

Journey with me to another memory when a mama did not feel adequate, but learned to live into this powerful design.

The hotel ballroom was packed full of women from all over California. The hum of excited conversation, laughter, and discussion filled the room. We had just finished the first evening of a conference on becoming a wholehearted mother and were moving toward the exit doors to get some needed sleep. A few women lingered to ask me questions about their children and home or to encourage me about the messages being shared.

One woman, however, stood behind me, conspicuously alone, pulling away from the crowd. With downcast eyes and slumped posture, she waited quietly until all the other women had gone. Then she timidly approached me and said, with tears streaming down her face, "I don't know if I should talk to you or not. You see, I would love to be a great mother to my children, but I don't know if I can. What you spoke about tonight is meaningless to me. My mother was an alcoholic, married three times. My stepfather abused me. I have never experienced a loving relationship in my life. So how can I do something that I have never even seen in real life? I've always longed to feel and give real love, but I don't know if I am capable."

As I travel throughout the United States, Canada, and Europe, I continue to meet women who express these same needs and desires and frustrations. Some have suffered the brokenness that results when God's design is ignored. Others, like the women I described in chapter 1, feel confused and adrift in a culture full of conflicting messages about what it means to be a mother.

Many with whom I speak are not Christians; yet they identify a design in their hearts, a deep longing to have a center for life—a home where love, marriage, and children are part of a complete picture.

At the same time, they feel uncomfortable with these desires. Either they have little confidence in their mothering abilities, or they simply can't reconcile their heart longings with their mental image of a successful woman. They long for purpose and meaning and a sense of peace in their homes, but they have no understanding or clear idea of how to grasp what is already written in their hearts.

I think that these women express these desires because they were designed by God to enjoy and affirm in their hearts what we were made to live out in our lives. Yet many have become confused by voices that try to define femininity apart from marriage, physical design, motherhood, or family—and many have been directly damaged by their own families or by a culture that has drifted far from God's design. The yearnings of their hearts are often belittled or subdued by the stronger cultural voices that picture feminine success in terms of emotional independence, career accomplishment, and a kind of personal fulfillment that may have little to do with God's design on their lives and therefore cannot bring real happiness or satisfaction.

The heart of motherhood has been broken by sin's perversion of God's design throughout all of history.

Families have been broken apart. Parents have failed in their calling, and children have rebelled. Men and women have demeaned and mistreated each other and their offspring, and those offspring have passed along the painful results to their own children.

Yet the longing for a stable and secure home and a desire for a defined and meaningful family heritage have remained a foundational part of the human psyche, built into the yearnings of each person. To understand where this came from and why it has persisted, we must go back to the Word of God to examine his original design for mothers and families—and to some of the ways that our culture makes it difficult for women to live as God intended.

God's Word, you see, gives us the map or plan for the family so that we might better understand what he had in mind for us. Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity. What we do as mothers, therefore, has eternal significance, so it's especially important to understand God's original intentions in this regard. Exploring his design for families and for motherhood cannot only help us understand what has gone wrong, but also how, with God's help, we can move closer to the joyful, fulfilling, and vitally important role he intended for us from the very beginning.

This Christmas, remember that your family is a holy place, as it was for Jesus, a place where the work of eternity, of bringing glory to God through the love, celebration and living of His truth within its walls.

The Mission of Motherhood discusses this topic in depth and really paints a picture of what motherhood was intended to look like! You can find it here: Mission of Motherhood

Secrets of Training Godly Character in the Heart of Your Child & A New Podcast

So excited to begin the journey of launching my newest book--coming out February 2! Get my new book for your friends for an Inspiring Christmas Gift and print and send them this postcard with your personal note! A sweet friend, Anna, who is helping me with my launch team, said she thought giving your friends a copy of the life-giving home for Christmas was a great idea. You can print out the postcard above with a personal note and make it a great new years--Start the new year off with a great plan--sort of book. Hope you enjoy it!

Life!!!

Tonight, after a long day in Philadelphia with my sweet Joel and Joy, I am boarding an airplane for home--always the best place to be. I do love visiting my boys! (Though it was 63 in Philly today and it will be 13 degrees tonight at home!)

This weekend, admits many activities, Kristen Kill and I recorded a new podcast for you. Building, teaching and nourishing Godly character into the heart, mind and soul of your child is essential to your child becoming a healthy adult. Teaching anyone to pursue godly character always encourages and inspires the teacher who has to be accountable to these ideals.

We hope you will share this podcast with your friends as it is a great time of year to  begin re-visiting your ideals and making a plan for the new year. Character is what serves the rest of the a person's life. Only as we are reliable, have integrity, stay faithful, work diligently, love unconditionally, stay faithful, choose faith, pursue forgiveness--the foundations of character--can we become strong and healthy in all walks of life and in all circumstances of life.

I held three goal in this area at all times!

1. Giving our children and ourselves a foundation of a self-image of one who wants to be godly, holy, set apart for God's purposes is the beginning. Such a grid for life says, "I am ready to pursue holiness every day, all the time, to please you God and to do what is right." It is a vision for life. I want my life to count for eternity and so today I will seek to serve God in my heart, my attitudes, my work, my relationships--in every way.
2. Learning and instructing what Godly wisdom is, is essential to being able to follow the vision--teaching the true principles of character help us to pursue integrity. (24 Family ways is good for this.) Learning the meaning of virtue and virtues of moral excellence: diligence, faithfulness, generosity, loyalty, righteousness, etc. When the meaning of a virtue is digested in cognitive understanding,  and in cultivating an education for values, then instruction can follow on how to live out virtue through our actions.
3. Practicing "doing" and "being" godly character traits, making godly habits a familiar part of every day, and correcting each action to move in the direction of faithfulness is the practical place of training and building godly character. We discuss all three in the podcast. Hope you enjoy it.

Have a wonderful week. All mine are coming home this week. Can't wait. Sending wishes for your week to be one of peace.

Tending Your Heart (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 10

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Tending Your Heart and Investing In Your Soul

She called it her treasure chest. I had taken my fifteen year-old son Nathan with me on a special trip to Austria and Poland, the places where I had spent time as a missionary in my twenties. In an open air market in Krakow, I found a special souvenir to take back for Joy. It was a hand-carved box, made of glistening cherry wood, with soft red felt lining on the inside, and a cheerful-looking bear carved onto the top.

It was treasure chest for small treasures.

To my delight, Joy loved the box. She carried it with her everywhere collecting in it little treasures she would find. After playing outside, she would come in and place a beautiful bird feather or a shell in the box. After church, she carefully tucked away a bookmark with a prayer on it. After a trip to the Denver Art Museum, she tenderly folded the small print I bought her of a favorite painting and placed it inside.

She filled her little box to the brim, and at nights her eyes would shine with delight as she would take out each item to cherish them all. “My treasure box reminds me of all the beauty God has put in the world, Mama!”

Joy’s treasure box gave me an image of what it means to cultivate my soul and fill it with truth and beauty. Wherever Joy went, she carried with her a reminder of the light, beauty, and truth of God’s goodness. As Christians with the light of Christ in us, we should have hearts full of God’s treasures—beauty, grace, and truth—to sustain us in the darkness and to offer to others.

To have a rich treasure chest in our hearts, though, we must be intentional about pursuing activities and practices that fill the heart instead of draining it. God has filled the world with delights for us to encounter, and yet our culture often thinks of beauty, delight, art, and music as secondary pursuits which are perhaps a bit frivolous in comparison to the “real” work of being serious and holy.

I would suggest, however, that God wants us to worship him every bit as much in our delight as in our duty.

When we dwell on the extravagant delights God has given us in the world, our hearts are drawn toward Him in worship. When we gaze on God’s gifts of beauty to us, we find our eyes drawn away from the ugliness and sin of the world. Perhaps this is why Paul so sincerely exhorts the Philippians saying, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

When we fill our hearts with excellence and virtue, we find ourselves with a wealth of God’s goodness to offer others from the treasures we have collected. Just as Joy carefully filled her box, so we must learn to intentionally pursue activities  that will fill the treasure chest of our hearts with good things. We should look for ways to fill our hearts, minds, and spirits with goodness, truth, and beauty—the things that inspire us, cause us to worship God, and bring light to others.

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting. that will fill the treasure chest of our hearts with good things. We should look for ways to fill our hearts, minds, and spirits with goodness, truth, and beauty—the things that inspire us, cause us to worship God, and bring light to others.

Heart, Mind, and Soul Restoration

Life is draining, every moment, all the time. We have bills to pay, work to do, meals to make, people to care for, tasks to complete--and then we must repeat these tasks again and again.

When we are constantly emptying our hearts, minds, and souls, it is essential that we take responsibility to keep filling them up. What we feed our inner bing will determine what we can give to those in our spheres of influence. What we have stored, cherished, and valued in our lives is reflective of our true selves.

If we wish to live out the best virtues of life, we must feed our minds, hearts, and souls upon all that is virtuous. Our souls reflect our true selves. What we have fed upon will be reflected through the ways we live in relationship to people and to the culture at large.

When you learn to take responsibility for your own well-being, you will produce a harvest of influence and grace in every other area that is influenced by your heart health.

An excerpt from Own Your Life, Chapter 10.

Being With Our Children at Christmastime

As it's gotten (a bit!) quieter around the Clarkson house these past few years, I love looking back on memories of previous seasons and the lessons I learned in them ... Half past ten in the evening found me downstairs, dragging my weary body on a tour of my four children's bedrooms to say good night. I had been up since four that morning, and all I could think of was my own bed and how I longed for sleep. Nathan's room was my last stop, and I hoped for a quick good-night so I could finally be through with this stress-filled day.

It was the Christmas season in a new home. All four of my children were lonely, missing the familiarity of friends and the flurry of activity that normally comes with the Christmas bustle.  But thirteen-year-old Nathan, in his extroverted, adolescent-hormone-filled body, had been hit the hardest.  Though he has a heart of gold and was trying hard to use self-control, he had a puppy-dog look in his blue eyes that begged for attention. To be honest, I didn't think I had it in me. I felt drained and wrung out just trying to keep all four children happy and cared for in their restless need for more than I had to give.

I sat on Nathan's bed, prayed a quick good-night prayer, said a hasty "see you in the morning, honey," and bolted for the door in hopes of making a quick retreat to my room. After all,I had fulfilled my obligation as a good mom to "tuck in"all of my children.

Then Nathan's pleading voice quietly taunted me. "Don't you even have a few minutes that we can talk?" I mustered my own self-control, sat back down on his bed, and tried hard not to show my desire to leave as quickly as possible. "What do you want to talk about?" I queried. "Oh, nothing. I just wanted someone to be with." "How about I scratch your back?" He turned over on his bed, and I slowly began to "soft tickle" his back, a phrase coined by our family when Sarah was a little girl. As I began this labor of love, questions, thoughts, ideas, and dreams started pouring out of Nathan's mouth. The longer I scratched his freckled back, the more he seemed to relax.

"I hope someone will ask me to do a magic show at a birthday party soon, Mom. Do you think anyone will see the fliers I put up?...What are we going to do tomorrow?... Do you think we can have an open house for all the neighbors on Sunday?...When do you think we can take a trip back to Colorado? Mom, don't you think Kelsey is a good dog? She doesn't mean to be so wild; she's just a puppy. Sort of like me, I guess.... What do you think we should get Joel for Christmas?... Do you really think I'm a good writer?"

One thought spilled into another as the minutes ticked away. And I could feel my irritation gradually draining away too. I couldn't help thinking how blessed I was to have a teenage child who wanted to share the company of his frumpy mother.

When the spilling out of Nathan's heart seemed to be slowing down, I did one final flurry of scratching his back and then pulled down his T-shirt to close this time of sweet fellowship, which would be in my memory forever.

"Thanks for taking the time, Mom," Nathan said as he gently reached up to kiss my cheek. "It meant a lot to me."

It's hard for all of us--especially in the hurry and flurry of Christmas--to take time to stop and listen to our children.  But I've realized that's the most important thing of all.  If I want my children to be open to hearing the messages I have for them, I must listen to the ones they have for me.  How can you take time to listen to the hearts of the precious ones in your own walls, this Advent season?

(You can read more here: The Ministry of Motherhood!)

A Story Worth Living, A Story Worth Telling

Sweet Friends,

December is a month when we review the amazing story God has allowed us to live by creating our family ministry, Whole Heart Ministries. Would you please join with us as we tell you our story. We are so grateful for all of you who have been a part o the history God has allowed our family to live. Thanks for reading about our history today. Hope to see so many of you at our Mom Heart Conferences this year. May God lead your family to live a story of faith!

It would mean so much to us if you would share with Clay and me a way you have been encouraged through our ministry, conferences or books. We love hearing from you.

Clay and me, Still dreaming by faith, together, about what the next 20 might hold!

The unfolding story of Whole Heart Ministries has been, so far, twenty-one incredible chapters of character development, narrative intrigue, and unexpected plotlines. It’s been a long story, but we’re not ready to write the final chapter. Not yet. Chapter 22, still to be written in 2016, includes a major plot twist that will turn the story in a new direction. And we hope you will continue to be a part of our story.

Hope many of you will join us at our last Mom Heart Conference this year. (Filling up fast!)

Here’s the twist: After twenty wonderful years of hotel conference ministries to mothers we’re saying, “The End!” The 2016 conferences will be the final year of the Mom Heart Conference. But note: It won’t be the final year of Sally speaking to moms. We may just have another conference concept up our sleeve, but at this point, we are praying about the best options of how we can reach more parents. Future events might be smaller and more personal, and more will be online, but Sally is not going away. We’re just slowing down now so we can focus on the heart of the Whole Heart story—writing, publishing, personal discipleship, and ministry training.

Since the beginning of the Whole Heart story in 1994, God has allowed us to encourage and equip countless Christian parents through workshops, book catalogs, hotel conferences, print books, ebooks, international ministry, online ministries, training Intensives, ministry to moms, and more. If it all stopped here, we’d be thankful for our story. But we believe there is still more story to be told.

The Continuing Story of Whole Heart

The heart of our ministry has always been simply to help Christian parents—to encourage and equip them to raise children who will serve God “with a whole heart and a willing mind” (1 Chr 28:9). In a day of seismic cultural change, we want to help families find their place in the grand story of God’s faithfulness to His people. If that is your heart, then we hope you will help us help parents.

Parents write us all the time to tell us their stories. It doesn’t matter if they are here in America or in another land with another language, the language of their parent hearts is always the same:

[Your books] totally changed the mother I am and the way we have decided to parent and disciple our son. We are SO thankful to the LORD for your ministry!

~ a mother in California As the days toil on life frequently becomes rote and lacking in spirit; but reading

Heartfelt Discipline I am refreshed and newly motivated to ensure I am in the Lord’s will. ~ a father in Idaho

“I long to be a mother who builds my children up in the Lord. I purchased Ministry and Mission of Motherhood which I am forever re-reading and have lent to many friends.”

~ a mother in Australia

Christian parents are our mission field. We are missionaries to the Christian home.

Sally’s books have been translated into numerous foreign languages, and our books and ministry reach families all around the world. Mothers are hungry for biblical perspective from a seasoned Titus 2 older woman. Fathers want sound, biblical insight for building a Christian home and raising godly children. Parents want the life of Christ in their family. This is the story God has entrusted to us to write and to tell.

Turning a New Page to a New Chapter of Whole Heart

Like the Apostle Paul, we too “press on toward the goal” (Phi 3:14) of fulfilling Christ’s call on our lives to strengthen families. We want to invest in ministry choices that will last, and that will enable us to last. We want to do what is strategic, not just what is comfortable. We want to leave a story worth reading. And we want to invite you to join us in writing it. Here’s where our story is headed in 2016:

•   WHOLE HEART PRESS: We started Whole Heart Ministries with the vision of writing and publishing books to help Christian parents. That “ministry in print” will always be at the core of the Whole Heart mission as we write and publish new books for moms, dads, kids, families, and small groups.
•   SALLYCLARKSON.COM: Sally’s personal blog reaches tens of thousands of Christian women and mothers every day with biblical encouragement and inspiration. As a bestselling author, she is a trusted and respected voice for the traditional vision and values of motherhood, home, and family.
•   THE LIFEGIVING HOME: Sally’s newest book with Tyndale Momentum, The Lifegiving Home – Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming (Feb 2), is a portrait of how she built and beautified her own home and influenced her children. It will become a regular theme of Sally’s messages in 2016.
•   AT HOME WITH SALLY: This spring, we hope to launch a new “At Home with Sally” subscription site filled with twenty years of Sally’s audio and video messages, and including exclusive access to new webinars and other online events by Sally. Join early and save. (Target launch date: Mother’s Day.)
•   FAITH-SHAPED FAMILY INITIATIVE: This new Whole Heart initiative will call families back to building a biblical “Christian home.” The FaithShapedFamily.com blog will offer encouragement and ideas, a new book will define the vision, and other resources will equip parents. (Coming this summer.)
•   MOM HEART MINISTRY INITIATIVE: Mom Heart Ministry is a strategic small groups initiative to “restore moms’ hearts to God’s heart for motherhood.” On MomHeart.com, moms can find training, resources, media, encouragement, and connections to be a part of this movement of mothers.
•   MOM HEART INTENSIVES: Nearly fifty mothers attended the first three-day Mom Heart Leader Intensive Training in our home in 2010. Other “Intensives” have followed, and now more are planned in Colorado and around the world as Sally trains mothers to minister to mothers.

Let’s Write a Story Together Worth Reading!

We are, and always have been, just a small, family-run, nonprofit, Christian, faith ministry. All that means is that we trust God to provide financially as we step out in faith. There are two needs we’re trusting God to provide for right now, and in the months ahead. First, we need financial partners who will help us tell the story of God’s heart for the home and family. We need new partners to offset the loss of conference income that has funded our ministry for twenty years. Second, we need partners who will help us reach beyond our current limitations. We want to reach the Spanish-speaking world, expand our online ministry, and train mothers in other countries. A new fund-based online giving platform coming soon will enable us to set giving goals and receive funds dedicated to selected strategic projects.

Your financial gift in December would be greatly appreciated to help us move into 2016 financially healthy and amply supplied to write the story that God gives us. We encourage you to use our online donation page on WholeHeart.org. It is safe and secure, and will give you full control over your giving. You can also send a check to the address below. Financial contributions to Whole Heart Ministries, a 501c3 tax-exempt organization, are tax-deductible. Thank you for your partnership! Your gift helps us press on in Christ to keep faith in the family. Grace and peace to you and your family.

Wholehearted blessings in Christ,

Clay and Sally Clarkson

Our own whole hearted kids! Joy,  Joel, Sarah, Nathan

If God puts it on your heart to become partners with us in our ministry to help us with more projects to reach our world, we would be most grateful. You can donate here. (http://wholeheart.org/donations/)

Books & Resources by the Clarksons

•   Educating the WholeHearted Child (Clay)
•   Seasons of a Mother’s Heart (Sally)
•   Our 24 Family Ways (Clay)
•   Journeys of Faithfulness (Sarah)
•   Read for the Heart (Sarah)
•   Heartfelt Discipline (Clay)
•   The Mission of Motherhood (Sally)
•   The Ministry of Motherhood (Sally)
•   Dancing with My Father (Sally)
•   The Mom Walk (Sally)

 10 Gifts of Wisdom (Sally)  Caught Up in a Story (Sarah)  The Wisdom Chasers (Nathan)  The Hero’s Way (Nathan)  Desperate (Sally, Sarah Mae)  You Are Loved (Sally, Angela Perritt)  Own Your Life (Sally)  Own Your Life Study Guide (Sally)  The Lifegiving Home (Sally, Sarah)  Taking Motherhood to Hearts (Clay)

Please feel free to write us at the address below.

Whole Heart Ministries

Keeping Faith in the Family

PO Box 3445 | Monument, CO 80132 719.488.4466 | 888.488.4466 | 888.FAX-2WHM

wholeheart.org | momheart.com | sallyclarkson.com whm@wholeheart.org | admin@wholeheart.org

— since 1994 —

Owning Your Faith: Learning to Take Risks (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 9

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

C.S. LEWIS

Oh, Lord! Please provide! I really need you to provide! I found myself desperately uttering this prayer in my mind before my eyes had even opened. It was one of those times in life when I couldn’t see past tomorrow. I had four grown up children with grown up worries, a dear and very overworked husband, and a diminishing bank account. At that moment, my prayer was for the needs of one of my children’s university tuition. Over and over again I had seen God work, but at that point, after a year that felt like a boxing match, I found the eyes of my heart couldn’t see around the bend in the road.

I believe all of us come to the moment where we can’t see around the next corner. In fact, in my life, there have been too many such times to count. It is at those corners and crossroads that our claim to “have faith” begins to mean something for the real, practical, present world we live in. When I was a young Christian, I think I pictured faith as looking something like the enthusiastic hand-raising worshippers I saw at youth conferences. As I have grown, I have come to see that faith more often looks like the quiet trust and sincere outpouring of a heart before God. It is most visible at moments of crisis, death, hurt, need, and new beginnings.

It comes at the moment when we are faced with the choice to trust in ourselves or in the world, to give into despair, or to trust in God to take us beyond what we can imagine and see.

Fear

Fear is our natural response to the unknown. That day as I prayed a cold cloud of fear came to me: What if I couldn’t send the child to this program she dreamed of for so many years? Had I failed her as a parent? Fear comes to me in the form of a thousand imagined undesirable futures. It comes in the form of what-ifs: What if we start a ministry and it flops?

What if the kids resent us for raising them in ministry? What if I am not strong/wise/good enough to do what God has called me to do? Fear drives us to retreat. In the defensive stance of fear, we try to live in our own strength rather than trusting in the mysterious, beautiful, and powerful work God could do in our lives.

But God is well acquainted with our fears. Three-hundred sixty-five times in the Bible, the heartening and seemingly impossible command is uttered, “Do not fear.” I learned in the early days of our ministry that if God called me to something, He would never leave me stranded.

In Deuteronomy 31:6, God speaks to the Israelites saying, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." We have the power to be courageous only because we know that wherever we go, God goes with us. Faith is the power.

Formula

Another tempting response is to live by formula. As I pondered that morning, I thought of all the systems and methods I should have lived by if I was really a helpful mother. Perhaps I just hadn’t done the right thing and it was going to cost my child their education. Trusting in a formula, even if it sounds good, is not living by faith in God, but living by well-intentioned superstition—if I pray, act a certain way, and say the right things, then God will be obligated to respond and grant my desire.

That kind of thinking comes too close to the beliefs of idol worshipers in the Old Testament, rather than to followers of the faithful, loving God who revealed Himself in order to be known and worshiped by His people. God cannot be made to fit into our man-made formulas. In Isaiah, God said,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways” (55:8). Our God is more gracious and more powerful than any formula we can conjure, and we as image bearers of God are more complex and exciting than any formula can contain. When we reduce faith to a formula we will be disappointed. We will be disappointed in ourselves, thinking if only we had prayed or acted a little differently God would be blessing us. Or, we will be disappointed with God, feeling He has not “lived up to his side of the bargain.” God does not negotiate, but we try to.

Flesh

Finally, perhaps the most tempting option  is to live by flesh. Living by your flesh means clenching your teeth and saying, “I can do this. I don’t need help.” This kind of thinking can be pernicious because we can find ourselves thinking, “I’m persevering for God,” when we’re actually denying our need for His grace to help us persevere.

With this mindset, when we encounter hardships or challenges, rather than admitting our need and asking the Father who cares for us for help, our flesh says to us, “Try harder! Do more! Accomplish it on your own!” God never calls us on a path for which he has not prepared us. This is not to say that living by faith is not hard work; it is! But, as Psalm 127:1 says: “Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted” (NLT). His very name, Immanuel, means “God with us.” When we try to live by flesh, we will burn out as we deny God’s life-giving Spirit the opportunity to work.

After praying my prayer that morning, I opened my eyes. I peered out the beautiful bay window by my bed, I rubbed my face across the soft blanket on my bed, and then I laughed. My desperate prayer was prayed as if God had not already provided for me. I suddenly realized that God had already met my needs in a thousand ways. My spiritual amnesia made me want to doubt, but as I rose that morning, it was with a trust that God was providing and would continue to provide whatever my family truly needed.

The day that followed my commitment to trust God was not extraordinary; I cleaned and cooked and laughed with my children. As I look back, I cherish the fact that I have been able to see the hand of God work so powerfully in my lifetime. If I lived only by what was possible in my own power, I would have never taken risks that allowed me to see God’s faithfulness. My walk of faith with God has been a mysterious dance of listening, resting, working, and watching as God causes growth. With each crossroad I encounter, I believe even more firmly that God goes before me to prepare the path.

An excerpt from Own Your Life, Chapter 9.

Mothering in the Winter Season

As I have reflected on the winter seasons of my life as a mother, I can see that, though they could be very trying times, they also have been times when I learned the deepest lessons of faith and grew closer to God. Let me share with you some of the fruit of my own winter reflections.

First, I have learned that my life is not the center of the universe. It has taken me years to see just how self-centered and selfish I can be, and just how much growing up I needed to do. Jesus said that in this world we would experience tribulation, so struggle is a normal part of life. He certainly knew tribulation, as did Peter, Paul, David, Moses, Esther, and all who have lived for the purposes of God. My struggles are not exceptions requiring special attention; they are simply the norm.

Second, I have learned that motherhood— the raising of godly children— invites intense spiritual warfare. Living as a Christian is not just about believing in Jesus, enjoying God's blessings, then going to heaven. That kind of mediocrity of soul is never an option for a mature believer. God says the Christian life is spiritual warfare, a battle, and we all will have to fight. No exceptions. Paul said, "do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you" (1 Peter 4:12, NASB). That's just life.

Third, I have learned that God is transcendent, with infinite purposes beyond my finite comprehension. He has been faithful to each generation of his people, compassionate and merciful even when we cannot see or understand his purposes. That truth forces a choice in my heart: Either I bow my knee to God's will, trusting his grace to sustain me through every struggle because I know he is sovereign and in control; or I give in to my bitterness, allowing grief and despair to defeat me. It is a choice I have to make over and over again.

Fourth, I have learned that God wants to shape me, his child, into the likeness of Christ. Scripture teaches that "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness" (Hebrews 12:10). His hand of discipline has loosed my grip on things I hold too tightly—possessions, people, dreams, pride, expectations—things I have placed my hope in instead of in him. In their place, he has given me the wonderful freedom of knowing I am loved and accepted by him, no matter how I may sin or fail him.

Fifth, I have learned that God uses my trials to make me better able to minister to other women. I have learned compassion for others who struggle, because I have grappled with my own issues. I have wrestled with children, marriage, finances, health, and so many other issues, so I can more easily identify with others in similar situations, and offer them the compassion and hope that I have found in God's faithfulness and goodness.

Finally, I have learned that God uses hard times to make me stronger and more faithful. I have a much larger capacity now, than I ever had as a young woman, to handle challenges and responsibilities. A young mom might be overwhelmed with the constant work and stress of having a new baby, but a mom who has raised many children has learned to take her responsibilities in stride. It may take some time, but I really can "consider it pure joy" when I "face trials of many kinds," because I know the "testing of [my] faith develops perseverance" (James 1:1-3).

I hope my reflections are an encouragement to your own heart today.  Do one or more of these areas seem to be one in which you might need to embrace the cup the Lord has poured for you?

You can read more of my reflections on motherhood in Seasons of a Mother's Heart, available here!

Giving Hope to your Child this Christmas

Hope Breathes Life

Lighting 5 candles, turning the lights low, switching the gas logs on high and bringing a tray of mugs overflowing with hot chocolate and whip cream all came together in about 5 minutes. The last touch was the familiar Celtic Christmas album that hummed gently through the room to bring the familiar comfort of a well-loved cd.

My young daughter had just experienced a devastating tragedy that had made her innocent heart fearful—a fatal shooting at our church during the Christmas season a few years ago had wrought terror in our hearts.

Snuggling up together under soft throws on the couch, she poured out her fears, worries, and questions for a half hour. I searched the files of my heart to find comfort to help her feel understood and comfort of the hope she had in her heavenly Father that would never be shaken.

“Mama, when I come to you afraid, I know I will always leave hopeful. I love you, Mama. I am so glad I am not alone.”

How surprised I was to hear this, as I have often felt that I was a struggler through the many challenges that threatened to overcome us in our lives.

Many years ago, I realized that children long to have a happy mother. Our children are growing up in a time when media spreads the gloom and doom of catastrophes, fears and threats. When the mama spreads light and thankfulness--and hope in the darkness, then children feel secure and safe.

But when a mama lives darkly, the children harbor fear, insecurity and blame themselves for parent's being angry or sad.

Hope is not natural--it is supernatural.

Hope comes welling up from deep inside because of a belief that God is good. That He will win in the end. That there is always hope when God is present.

Women who choose hope and who choose to trust God are those who, instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle. But it is a choice of the will.

Hope is not a feeling, it is a commitment to hold fast to what scripture reminds us is true about God.

Knowing scripture, pondering and taking it into your soul, is what gives each of us food, fuel, to live the Christian life, as we listen to the Holy Spirit guide us through the wisdom we have learned. The only way to live well is to live in fellowship with God. Nothing else will satisfy.

We live in an imperfect world filled with disappointments, devastation, and difficulty.

Without hope, our lives can feel absolutely purposeless sometimes.

Today I am writing at Thebettermom.com

Go there for the rest of the story! and don't forget to listen to yesterday's podcast!