A Book Begins with a Question...Join us For a New Podcast Series

Hiking in my Colorado mountains. Joel was with me and he said, "Mom, look up!" And so he caught me amidst these golden beauties. 

A Book Begins (with a question)

Fall is in the air in Colorado and I just want to sit outside on my porch and soak in the chill air, the quivering aspens and the gorgeous fall colors. I know that the snows are coming soon.

What a whirlwind the past month, and I have been gathering memories, treasures of wisdom from others, sweet last moments with my children as they go to their various schools.  I am bubbling over with things I want to write about. I treasure all the wonderful people I met in Oxford, Wales, London and Scotland. 

Since returning home from the UK, my mind has been filled with ideas about what subjects to cover in new podcasts and how best to encourage and inspire. In the midst of this, Sarah, my daughter,  has been face-timing me and sharing the delight of her new home as a bride, creating beautiful places and pondering the ways she will be investing her life. As we talked, we cooked up a series that I hope you will enjoy. 

As we launch into a new season, I thought it might be fun to do a series about how to set up fresh goals, revisit ideals and how they fit into real life schedules, and new ideas to implement inspiration and meaningful rhythms into our homes.

I decorated our home for fall this week and enjoyed getting back into my "homey" mood. I thought of many things I want to share with you. Yet, one needs time and rest to be up for all that life demands. It took me a few days of being home before I felt like even unpacking. Finally a week later, I felt like decorating. All in good time. We shall talk about pacing life. 

This is how it will play out.  Every Monday, Kristen and I will be doing a podcast on Foundations that create life in your home with lots of ideas about The Life Giving Home. We will share books, recipes, traditions, the secrets of discipleship and influence, educational encouragement as well as filling our own minds and souls with beauty, goodness and strength. On Fridays, Sarah will be adding some recipes, traditions, music and favorites that she is putting in her home, and many ideas we have been sharing that we practiced in our home through the years. We hope you will enjoy our new series.

Also, Sarah has had bubbling up in her the idea of a new book that I think will be so helpful and soul-filling to moms who want some investment in their own lives--not just forever focussing on children's issues but on themselves. So please let us know what you think and leave us comments below. 

A Book Begins....(with a question!)

I’m sitting at my new kitchen table, with a wash of pale, pearly sunlight over my hands. Autumn has come in a rainy rush the past few days, but the air this morning is crisp, clearing, and that sense of a new season tingles in my skin and begins to burn in the leaves outside. I always feel quickened in autumn, with new ideas, with freshly gripped ideals that must be well begun before winter sets in, and this year I burn with all I want to create; a new home, new books, new friendships and traditions…

Our first Sunday breakfast… with the mountain of boxes in the back ground.

My hearty dose of reality this morning is a mountain of empty IKEA boxes to my left (which, if you don’t have a car, become suddenly difficult to dispose of) and a room crammed with all of the downstairs furnishings as the (very old) ceiling in our front room decided it was time to crash down, evidenced by a large and sinister crack in the plaster. We managed to delay this by propping wood under it, and the builder comes this week, but for the moment the settling and ordering of this new little house is on pause, so I am turning my autumn-freshened energy to the next thing that burns in my heart: writing.

I have three notebooks open on the table, all with scribbled lists of what I want to write. Oh, there is so much I want to tell and explore, so many stories, so many truths I’ve gathered in the last year of study, of love, of watching God’s grace thread through my life, weaving so much hope. There’s much I will write on the blog here– daily wonders, theological discoveries, favorite books, the usual. But the time has also come when I am ready to begin another book, and I think I know what it will be.

Here’s the thing, I want to ask you about it first.

As many of you know, much of my writing in the past years has focused on children and reading; why reading is important, how it shapes the soul and self, and why a strong imagination is so vital to the development of mind and soul. I only grow more passionate about these ideas, but as I have studied theology and spiritual formation, I’ve been startled to realize how many of the things I learned about how children develop and grow are still just as vital for adults.

We equally need to cultivate a capacity to wonder, a love for learning, a strong imagination. We equally must read because all of this is central to the way we see ourselves, the story we create, the faith we hold in the midst of grief, the beauty we bring to a hopeless culture.

I’ve spent the last year asking the same questions of myself that I asked for children: How can I cultivate wonder in myself (something I think is necessary to worship)? How do I nourish my own imagination? How do I strengthen my faith, broaden my own ideas, educate my mind so that I have roots in truth and the capacity to interact wisely with the world around me?

As I have asked and answered these for myself, I’ve begun to realize that a new book is beginning to out shout for creation in my mind. And it’s this:

What if there was a ‘book on books’ for women? A book to be a companion as you learn to fill up your own soul, learn afresh, strengthen your own imagination. What if there was a book with favorite booklists, resources, essays, and suggestions for habits that met women in the midst of their ordinary lives, which is, after all, where most of our learning takes place. A book on development of mind and soul that also focused on imagination and reading, but was written to adults. Not an academic book, or a college course, but one that explores, creatively, personally, and with practical application, what it looks like to educate, nourish, and fill the rooms of your heart and mind and soul, wherever you live, whatever your story.

This would be a book of personal stories and ideas, of book recommendations and suggestions for how to begin, of favorite resources and chapters focusing on education, reading, devotion, culture, community, a book meant to encourage you to learn, to grow, to nourish the inmost rooms of heart and mind so that you can be strong and creative, and better equipped to flourish in whatever work God has given you to do.

So here’s my question (really, a series of questions), but it boils down to: would you be interested in that kind of a book, and if so, what would you want it to provide?

Would you want an all out ‘book on books’ with reading research and book lists and reviews written specifically to you?

Or one that included books but was focused on a more holistic vision for becoming self-educated, how to go about it, how to think about it, how to create a community to do it?

Would you want vision or pragmatism? Stories to fill your imagination, or practical lists to help you begin, or both?

Would you want to hear from other women writers or thinkers? Would you want the book to be a handbook with stories or a memoir with lists?

In short – I’d love to hear your ideas, would be delighted to know your own desires in this whole area of self-education and soul development. I’ve already begun work on this book, putting together lists of beloved books, talking to mentors and friends about the habits they’ve practiced to fill soul and heart with beauty. My heart and mind flare to life at thought of women reading, learning, growing afresh together.

So, tell me what you think. I’ll be so grateful. (And it will distract me from the IKEA boxes.)

A beautiful day to all you beautiful people.

Sarah

Commitment in Marriage: A Summer Amongst Friends Podcast!

After Sarah's lovely wedding day, we certainly find ourselves with love and romance on our minds around here!  We all come into marriage with such high ideals.  All the things we want to do; all the things we're determined we'll "never" do!  Yet reality sets in somewhere around the 24 hour mark, doesn't it?  When we realize after our beautiful day has come and gone, that we are still a sinful person, and now married to a sinful person ... will we find the popped bubble too much to bear and give up?  Or trust in Christ's faithfulness to us, both as a strength and a model for our own lives?

Yet, I look back now and realize that the dreams where we build a family culture, life together, a home built on foundations of love and faith are the greatest work we can do in our lifetime. This precious work of life requires vision and an understanding of how to build a strong heritage over many years. 

When Clay and I got married, we brought with us a lot of emotional baggage from our less- than-perfect backgrounds. We were immature, self-centered, and had personalities so different that we often rubbed each other the wrong way. Many of the relational habits we had developed were not healthy. And although we were committed Christians, still we hit some difficult times of conflict through the years. It is quite normal for young marrieds to have division and conflict. Becoming "one" takes years of rubbing off the rough edges, stretching and straining towards unselfishness when we feel that we personally want to be loved and served. 

I was a passionate, relational, affectionate dreamer. I hate to say it, but I was confident that my "ways" were quite spiritual. Clay was introverted, rational, organized, practical, and also convinced that his way of seeing life was right. Those times of tension and conflict were the tests we had to pass: Would we remain committed to each other in spite of our differences? Did I understand that my loyalty to Clay, even when I felt distant, was an issue of faith between God and me? Would I, for the sake of my love and commitment to Christ, commit to serve Clay and act out of unconditional love?

Somewhere during those challenging times I realized that God is not so much concerned with my immediate gratification as he is with the development of my soul. God whispered to me as I prayed, "What if the one thing I asked you to do by faith was to be steadfast in choosing to stay committed and loyal to Clay? Would you worship me by choosing one day at a time to grow and to choose to love?"

I had a choice to trust God with my times when I felt isolated or lonely amidst the stresses and strains that come with marriage and family life.  Seeking to trust God while learning to work with, love, and serve my committed but normal and all-too-human team members--children and husband--was quite stretching for me. I had a choice to trust God while hoping for a "Cinderella" marriage yet learning that it takes work to build intimacy, to live through memories and the work of getting through it together, through seasons that would tie our hearts together in the mutuality of shared life events.

Relationships are complex and in this world will never be perfect. We need to avoid thinking that our spouses are all good or all bad. Most of us are a mysterious mixture of each. 

One day at a time, I would nurture and cultivate a life-giving and loving environment in our home out of obedience to my sweet Lord. After all, I had committed my life to him, and that included being faithful to Him through this holy commitment called marriage. Through each of these situations, God led me to understand more deeply and clearly the sacrifice of love, the power of unconditional acceptance and commitment that also defines God's love for me. Marriage was one of the biggest testing and training grounds for me, but by yielding to His ways little by little, year by year, I began to understand more of what it really meant to love. It was not just a feeling but a determination to serve, forgive, accept, move on, and seek peace.

Clay, too, had choices to make. He saw how critical my attitude was and how self-righteous I could be. Either he could give in to his frustration, blasting me with the reality of my immaturity and acting resentfully toward me, or he could be faithful to God and choose one conflict at a time, to be patient and long suffering with me.

We were committed to one another and our commitment drew each of us  toward maturity. God slowly did heart surgery and showed us the story he wanted us to live, for Him, for our children and for the sake of being able to encourage others along the same road.

Of course, neither of us always responded to these tests perfectly. Sometimes we needed time to move through our differences and to absorb the stress of family and married life.

But we had decided that the bottom line to our family relationships was to forgive one another and to speak love and pray together before going to bed. We also taught our children that no matter what, we would be committed to them, and they would be trained to be faithful to one another as siblings. Forgiveness was spoken, prayer was made, peace was chosen as a way of life.

But now, having practiced faithfulness through the trials of those many seasons, our love is deeper and more sure. Now that I am more aware of my sin, I can't believe Clay put up with me! But having lived together through years of babies, moves, illnesses, catastrophes, financial pressures, and temptations, our love is all the more precious and of great value because it has been tested by fire.

It has become a treasure of a story through which we persevered through many diverse and demanding seasons. I find deep, fulfilling joy in knowing that we have made it through and in the process brought so much more worth to the marriage commitment of our lives. And now that my children are in a world where promiscuity, immorality, unfaithfulness, compromise is the norm on every front, they have deeply impressed in their psyches that marriage is to be honored, marriage covenants are to held as far as possible.

In a fallen world, many precious ones find themselves in heart-breaking circumstances in broken marriages, and find themselves alone. We are all broken and in need of the sweet mercy of Jesus. I understand that everyone's story is different and I have deep love and sympathy for anyone whose journey has brought such pain. Many sweet friends have lived through these very difficult times and I pray God's gracious love brings healing and comfort.

Yet, when, if we are able to follow God's ideals and stay the course of our marriages, we are building foundations where loyal love, and virtuous commitment can be a story lived out in real life to show the reality of God's unconditional, forever love for us.

The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones,

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man."

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. ~ Genesis 2:23-24

We recently celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary! Can't believe we have passed that many years together!

Marriage is meant to be a picture of the love Christ has for the church; His commitment and persevering faithfulness to us. He said He would never leave us or forsake us. He laid down his life for us.  Jesus treasures marriage because it is the holy place where His love for the world is modeled by how we practice giving to one another and staying the course of our commitment. What might you do to strengthen your own marriage, today?

Celebrating Motherhood Together & A Giveaway! More Conferences Coming!

About 20 years ago, I was sitting in our living room late in the evening, sprawled out on our couch and wondering how I was ever going to make it through my years as a mom. I was worn out, empty and felt alone in my journey as a mom. Baby Joy was about 1 and I had 11 year old Sarah, 9 year old Joel, and Nathan, who was almost 8.

"I am just soooo tired and seem to get to 9:00 in the evening and feel like I can't take another step--and then it is all over again the next day. I just wish I had a break!"

Clay and I began to talk and he said, "What would help you?"

I thought for a few moments and said, "I wish there would be a retreat I could go to with friends, maybe in a hotel, with women who could inspire me and help me as a mom, all grace and no guilt or legalism, and a sense of friendship to know I am not alone."

The conversation continued and we decided that we would attempt to create such a conference. The Mom Heart Conference was born and over the last 20 years, we have seen about 40,000 women join us in these conferences. We could not have imagined what God had in store for us and it has been one of the biggest blessings of our lives. (It is why we are creating another new conference series for this year! Stay tuned.)

What a string of stories followed us as our children grew up helping us host conferences all over the US and in several countries. Moms need moms to link arms and to give strength, understanding, inspiration to do this profoundly important job well. 

Sweet friends gathered from the Life Giving Home Launch Team!

The best part of this 20 year legacy is the many wonderful friends I have met through these conferences. I could not do life without them.Commorrative Mom Heart Video

The Irving/DFW conference in Texas is our oldest (annually since 1999) and largest event. This year we hired a professional film crew to capture the heart and spirit of the final Mom Heart Conference. It’s all there in four (4!) DVDs — Sally’s messages, the PossibiliTea, special sessions, testimonials with attendees, interviews with Sally and Clay, all of the Clarkson children sharing their thoughts and memories, and more.

This is the first time in 20 years we’ve video recorded an entire conference and put it into a DVD format. And it is probably the only time we’ll do it.

 If you've never attended a mom heart conferences before, this will be a great way to experience what they are like — to see and hear Sally’s “Heartbeats of a Lifegiving Home” messages, to get a taste of an event that has touched so many mother’s lives, and even to be able to share the experience with friends. And beyond the conference itself, it's all about how we can all leave a godly legacy of faith for our children.

My favorite part of the video, I think, is the 45 minute interview of my 4 kids being asked what they thought was the most important aspect of building our own Life Giving Home! (I had no idea what they would say, but it filled my heart to overflowing.)

 This 4x DVD Album is a Special, One-Time, Limited-Edition

Buy HERE

You can purchase the 4x DVD album today for only $29.95, and we'll pay for the shipping. Due to the high cost of DVD duplication and packaging, this limited edition DVD album will not be reprinted. Still, we've tried to keep this unique album as affordable as we can for you. The "profit" for our ministry in this DVD album will not be in dollars, but in the encouragement and inspiration it will bring to you and all our Mom Heart friends. 

 The ministry invested over $12,000 in the production, editing, duplication, and packaging of this special project. That's a lot of money for a small family ministry like ours. Despite the cost, though, it is well worth it to us to be able to commemorate one time for all time, in a quality and lasting physical format, a conference that has meant so much, for so long, to so many, and to us. Thank you for sharing in our joy and gratitude.

Here's How to Order Your DVD Commemorative Album!

 Just click on the link below to take you to our Whole Heart Webstore, complete the order information form, and pay via PayPal checkout (you don’t need to be a PayPal member).Just Click, Complete, and Pay. Allow 7-10 days for delivery (but expect it sooner).

 Our prayer is this album will be an encouragement, a keepsake, and a legacy of what God has done for the past 20 years of this special conference. So, if you’re ready to order your album, just click the link below.

New Conferences Ahead!

I am excited to launch a whole new set of conferences that will be held in Colorado, California, Texas, North Carolina and Oregon. I hope many of you can join me for new inspiration, a community of like-minded women, and a legacy of faith shared together. 

As a small gift of thanks to all of you who have joined us through the years, we would love to give away 5 copies of the conference DVD to our wonderful readers here. To enter to win, Just leave us a comment about what you have enjoyed at the conferences in the past or what topics you would like to see in the new conferences this year. 

We will be letting you know about the new conference in the coming weeks. Thanks for making these conferences such a wonderful experience for all of us Clarksons.  

 

Working Through Depression by understanding God's Comfort

"For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within.  But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus; and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me; so that I rejoiced even more."  2 Corinthians 7:5-7

As a "good Christian woman" I used to think that if I was truly loving God and walking with Him, I would have a positive, faith-filled attitude all the time. Guilt for disappointing God would occasionally stand pointing it's finger of accusation and I would feel disappointed in myself in an existential way. 

Yet, as an older woman, I have become intimately acquainted with the seasons of life and have come to realize that disappointment in others, disgust with the world's values, despair with some of the raging darkness in the international as well as personal arena of my life, was a common experience through my years and also for many through out scripture. 

In Seasons of a Mother's Heart, many years ago, I wrote a chapter about a time when I had been almost immobilized with a feeling of darkness. I was lying on my bed in the afternoon as the sun was going down and had the thought that I wanted just to stay there and disappear into the darkness, hoping no one in the house would find me.

I still remember that day and a number of other times when I felt so discouraged in my life that I felt, for the moment, hopeless and defeated. I remember that in Anne of Green Gables, Marilla, the woman who adopted Anne, had said to her, "To despair is to turn your back on God."

It always made me feel a little guilty, because I had felt despair many times in my life.  I wondered if I was the only one who felt that way.  Often, when a mom reads that chapter, she will write to me and say, "That is just how I feel!" And then, "It helped me to know that others had felt that way, too." In reality, if we are following God's will, difficulty and discouragement, even depression will be a common part of our lives.

I have to admit that when I read the passage by Paul, in II Corinthians, about his being depressed, it made me feel better about myself!  After all, if Paul, the great hero of the faith, had been depressed, then maybe there was hope for me. I discovered that it is not a sin to be discouraged or depressed--but our response to it is what determines our long term well-being. 

God made me an idealist. I love the idea of life being romantic and everything turning out happily ever after. I would like to have raised my children in a G-rated world. I would have liked to have a perfect family and good support systems and a really good church fellowship to be a part of, and a Pollyanna community who reciprocated to me in friendship and fellowship and no financial stress or relationship stress or health stress or spiritual stress, or, or, or!

Ultimately, this was the hardest thing for me over the years; I just wasn't expecting life to be so hard. I didn't know mothering would be so taxing. I didn't understand that the culture was heading in such a postmodern direction, in exactly the opposite direction that Clay and I were leading our family. I also didn't know or understand the constant work load of mothering, and wasn't trained to do it. I wasn't prepared for real life--and that was one of the most common sources of my difficulty. 

It was sweet, though, to see that Paul said, "God comforts the depressed." In our world today, we understand that depression can be so severe that counseling and medical help needs to be sought. Yet, as a believer, I also have to look at all the issues of my life through a spiritual lens and see where God is in the midst of each step of my journey.

God understands my depression. I have realized how important it is for me to know that God doesn't get some kind of perverted pleasure in watching His sweet children suffer. He is not a cosmic being that says, "Okay, now that you have decided to commit yourself to me to raise godly children, I am going to make your life just as hard for you as I can to punish you for seeking to be so godly." 

But, he does see us, know our struggles, weeps with us and longs to be our comfort. But I have seen over the years that my learning, slowly but surely to trust Him more, to lean in more, to understand the nature of the battle, has helped me to have more strength to fight against the darkness when it comes again. We can move to stronger places in all areas of our lives as we strain to walk all of these places with our eyes on Him and His perspective.

Even as a Father has compassion on His children, so God has compassion on us. Psalm 103

Even when Jesus experienced the excruciating pain of the cross, we read, "He endured the cross, (it was so dark an experience that he just had to endure it), despised the shame, (he hated the terrible, humiliating, condescending experience he bore for our sakes, and is seated at the right hand of God......

Even Jesus was one who wept, became angry, hated humiliation, felt disappointed and yet, he was perfect. And so, we take comfort that emotional experiences are a part of a healthy reaction to difficult things we experience in life.

Finding our hope, again, in Him, is a part of the journey that leads us gently and slowly out of despair. 

Clinical depression is a place where counseling might be needed, medical attention given. But as I write shortly about this issue today, my desire is to comfort those who find themselves struggling with the darkness. You are not alone. I can look back over years and see that I have learned more tools of life, faith and truth that have given me a path forward through these places.

God is a loving Father, and just as we want our children to be happy and to see their lives blessed, so He desires for us. After all, He made a perfectly beautiful garden as a place for His first children to live. He walked in this garden looking for their companionship and willing to give His unconditional love. During my quiet time this week, I noticed a phrase that was in the psalms several times, "Lovingkindness and truth go before thee."

"Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; Lovingkindness and truth go before You." Psalm 89:14
 

Lovingkindess goes wherever God goes. He loves us and wants the best for us and He is the Creator of happiness and joy. Yet, we are living in a very fallen world, in which most of the world is in rebellion against God and His ways. As scripture says, the ruler of this world, Satan, is determined to devour us. Jesus said, "In this world, you have tribulation. But take courage, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

So the first thing I need to realize and acknowledge is that God is good and that He wants me to experience joy and happiness. That scares some people. They feel that there is such a distance between us and God that it is presumptuous for us to celebrate God's goodness. Yet, David rightly said, "In His presence is fullness of joy and in his right hand, pleasures evermore!" (Psalm 16:11)

Evermore, yet!

Pleasures, it says!

God created us to enjoy beauty, to feel happy in being loved, to accomplish great things, to sing deeply in our hearts, to laugh heartily at jokes, to enjoy eating great feasts and to enjoy warm, fluffy covers as we snuggle up on a cold winter's night. 

Yet, we are in a battle ground, where the booty is human allegiance and souls. Especially as moms, we are in a battle for our children's hearts. A battle is difficult, hard, challenging, relentless, and often deadly. So, understanding the nature of the battle is helpful. I was so unprepared emotionally and mentally for the riggers of the battle.

In spite of the many seasons of depression and struggle, I can see God had been faithful to me. He strengthened my hands, so to speak, in the midst of my trials and has increased my capacity to work. He stretched me and gave me more ability to be patient. He used these difficult times to mold me more into the image of Christ. The end result is, that little by little, I am becoming a person I always wanted to be, but it has happened through a constant process of submitting to God's will, even in the midst of difficulties. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was momentarily caught up in the painful drama of a many-years-old relationship in which I had been rejected and was being rejected yet one more time-which brought back many other memories of this same pattern. I was amazed at how quickly the darkness descended.

Yet, I decided that I didn't need to stay in that place and rehearse all the past hurts.  Instead, I turned my heart to God and asked Him for perspective and to show me how to be thankful for His presence, truth, and reality in the midst of it. He immediately helped me to see how He had used this painful relationship in my life to show me what it really looked like to be loving. He showed me how very grateful I had become for those in my life who truly did love me and showed loyalty to me. He reminded me how much I was able to understand other hurting women because of my own past hurt, and how it had become a part of my ministry message to help others find a way out.  He gave me the freedom to understand that I could be happy and free, even if the unloving people in my life never changed--I was not responsible for their bad attitudes, but only to keep my own pure and free from bitterness. 

I also was prompted by the Holy Spirit to redeem the day. What could have been a bad day spent trying to figure out the unloving person who often changed our plans and rejected us, leaving us in the lurch, turned into a sweet memory with my children. Then I made a plan with my sweet girls (we were on the road) and we enjoyed a great memory-making afternoon of going to an art museum and then discovering a great new Russian restaurant that served wonderful bread, European soup and strong tea out of glasses. We had such fun!

 I wouldn't have asked for these experiences, these difficulties; but because He is good, He used them for my benefit as I kept putting one foot in front of the other. It helped me to understand the Romans passage that says, "God causes all things to work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose." He will turn things out to work for our good, if we remain in His will, submitted to His purpose, determined to be overcomers.

What stands out most about this idea, today?  Is there truth you need to apply to your own life?  Praying you understand His love, grace, and strength extended to you--even in the difficult times.

Training Our Children in Initiative

Initiative: The Power or Opportunity to act or take charge before others do

When our children were young and we were training them to do household chores, often we would come into our kitchen and find a pile of dirty dishes. (Those piles can still be found on occasion today!) When we asked our children why the unwashed dishes were still in the sink, they would say, "Well, no one asked me to wash dishes." To which we would reply, "When you are mature, you will not require us to stand over you to see that you get your work done. You will do it because you see the need yourself, and you will take the initiative with no one even asking you to do so."

It works that way in the Christian life, too. As we mature in our love for the Lord and come to know him better, we will often feel compelled to reach out to others simply because we see the need—and because Christ's kind of love has become a part of us.

II Corinthians 5:14 reminds us that "the love of Christ controls us"; an even better translation is "compels us." In other words, Christ's spirit inside us will drive us to share his love with others, and we will take the initiative to be agents of his redemption. We share the gift of inspiration with our children as they see us reaching out to others and as we involve them in these acts of outreach.

I have found that young children are usually less reserved than adults when it comes to wanting to share generously with others. They are generally not as given to racial or social prejudice as we are. Therefore, as we have prayed for God to use our family in the world, their innocent and giving love has sometimes pulled us into situations that have really stretched us. My children, for instance, love to think they can always bring someone in need to "our house.. .because our mom always helps people when they need it!" This is not always convenient, but it is almost always of God. As we sought to give our children the gift of inspiration, they often gave it to us as well!

All of us long to feel our lives have meaning, there is a sense of purpose for us to fulfill amidst mundane days. I am convinced that our children grew into believing that their own lives mattered, that they had works to do to show His light, His love, His messages. Because we all initiated His ways into the lives of people He brought our way, they have felt a call on their own lives. It has given them strength, inspiration to carry them into a "call" on their own lives.

When we follow in the footsteps of Jesus to reach out in love to those in need, we will ignite in our children the sense that they are worthy to consider themselves part of the solution in meeting people's needs. Patterns of ministry will naturally be caught as they learn from us and from Jesus a new and initiating love. In the process they will be inspired to give themselves in ministry, to become skilled and loving workers for his harvest fields.

When we seek to inspire our children, we need to model for them this initiating principle.

That means we put out our spiritual antennas, so to speak, wherever we go, looking for people in need. Then we take steps to reach out to them in some way, whether or not they are people we would normally feel comfortable with or people we think are good "prospects" for accepting Jesus. Even as Jesus died for us when we needed it, following him means befriending others who, like us, are in need of his grace. Then, once a relationship is formed or a friendship is started, we seek opportunities to share the truth of God's love and forgiveness as gently and attractively as we are able.

"Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd." ~Matthew 9:36

Each of us has access to those who need to hear a kind word, feel a touch of Jesus, have a meal with friendship as a foundation. Even those different than us. Overcoming passivity to reach out must become a habit of our lives if we are going to be a part of transforming our culture. 

Who are some people in your life right now that your family could reach out to, so that your own children can feel they are a part of giving and initiating to their worlds.

Making a batch of cookies for a neighbor and giving a card with "Happy Autumn" wishes can brighten a day. Making a meal for someone who is ill or has a new baby. Taking flowers and visiting with an elderly person might give children a way to show their love. 

What about those who are different than you and your family culture? Can you think of some fears or prejudices in your life or your particular culture that might keep you or your children from seeing people as Jesus did? (What kinds of people do you tend to shy away from or find it hard to care about?) What might help you overcome these attitudes?

We also are happy to announce the winners of Give Your Child the World from last week's giveaway!   Katie L,  Jennifer H,  Mari, Sally Lockett,  Jannette, and Amanda,  would you please email Misty at mkrasawski@yahoo.comasap, and we will be thrilled to have those sent your way!

Living for What Really Matters

Walking on the Thames by Parliament and Westminster Abbey and being cherishing last moments.

Tonight, sluggish from jet lag, but so happy to be home after 3 weeks, I was pondering some of the precious moments with our whole family gathered together in England. What treasured moments as we ate meals and cherished moments and stories, shared in a deeply meaningful life event together. 

And still we kept some of the family home ways--walking nightly to wrap up the days events. Once we even walked on the Thames with the Parliament and Westminster Abbey across in the twinkle lights of the city. We talked again, before we scurried to our own parts of the world, the things we cherish before we part from each other. And of course, I had to throw in a little advice before we all left each other. 

These are some of the things we talked about, that we hold in common, cherish as ideals--those threads of ideals that hold us all together. 

People---not things

Kindness not being right

True life virtue---not opinion or debate

Loving, redeeming, forgiving, extending grace...

Not judgment, criticism, self-righteousness, cynicism 

Living into His grace...

not striving to impress or earn love through works, accomplishment, status, fulfilling expectations,  influence,

Being intentional...not just frantically busy

Seeking Him, pondering Him, listening to Him.....

not the approval of man or living by the rules of others or seeking to be popular

Seeking the Kingdom and eternity.... not the kingdom or voices of the world

Honestly admitting a need, confessing a weakness or sin...

not stuffing our insecurities and pretending to be perfect

Being humble and meek...not powerful and influential

Waiting for Him...not living in the flesh and striving

Living a life of worship...

not living a life of self-fulfillment

Being still and knowing He is God...not living a noisy, empty life.

And so all of us Clarksons are spreading to the far corners to seek to live faithfully our own story, but these things, are what we shall take with us in our hearts to live fully into what really matters.

*****************************

Kristen and I hope to do some new podcasts this week, I am hoping to have another fun giveaway, but for now, I am very happily heading for a night to sleep away!

Take a Breath Before You Respond!

Having just sent Joy off to Scotland where she is very pleased to find herself the happy owner of a sea view--if only for a time!--I'm a bit nostalgic this week.  How does it all go by so quickly?  And yet, I'm so grateful for all the moments in my memory with my sweet ones.  This memory happened several years ago and is still a good reminder to me of the moment it takes to breathe deeply and extend grace when my nerves are frayed!

It had been a very long weekend, many years ago--the third such weekend in the string of conferences one winter. Lots of wonderful women chattering, asking questions, sharing hearts; speaking, praying, encouraging, laughing. One more conference done, with four more to go before our 20-day mission trip ending the season! We were leaving the hotel to spend a day with friends. Everyone's adrenaline was down and our tempers were short. I was bone-tired, finding myself feeling the weariness a little more with each year. The girls had been working long hours at registration, putting up boxes of books, setting up tables. They had spent countless hours running cash registers and putting gifts and chocolate out for all the women to enjoy, going to bed late, and getting up early. Everyone did their job as expected without being asked or checked on. Our family all knew the routine and what was expected as we worked together.

As we were to check out of the hotel, Sarah and Clay and I were walking down the hall to the elevator.  Just then, Joy said, "Hey, wait! I want to get my sweater out of my bag." And as I turned around to look at her, she reached into her bag and accidentally emptied the entire contents of her suitcase on the hall floor, sending hair bands and brushes, shoes and books, shampoo and lip gloss, socks and a swim suit rolling everywhere.

A sharp, "You need to be more careful! Why did you hold up the suitcase when you were unzipping it instead of setting it down?!" was right on the edge of my tongue. I did not feel like putting down my suitcase, computer bag, purse, coat, and Clay's shoes that were all barely juggled in my grip, as I knew I'd have to if I were to help her. But, something inside me nudged my heart. I pictured this sweet teenage girl, working, greeting, smiling, and helping without complaint all weekend long. I knew this was not the time to scold or to be impatient, though I felt all of this on the edge of my attitude, waiting to spill over.

I put all the things I was carrying down and walked toward her. "I am so very sorry it all fell out. You must feel so frustrated and if you are as tired as I am, you could use a real rest! Let me help you. By the way, did I tell you how amazed I was at how hard you worked this weekend? You were such a trooper. You are handling yourself like a pro. I can't believe you can work such long hours without anyone telling you. I really appreciate you, honey, and know you must be bone tired," I chattered as I picked up and folded and placed everything back into the bag alongside her.

How thankful I was that the Holy Spirit had put his finger on my heart. I saw eyes of anger  and defense change into gentle eyes--glad to be understood. She really didn't drop this whole bag of clothes just to further irritate me on a tiresome morning! And she really was a great 13 year old.

Grace--a cup of cold water to a thirsty body; a bouquet of flowers on a winter window sill; a kind patient timely word; a rescue to a four year old who drops his whole plate of food or spills one more cup of milk; a cup of tea for a hormonal girl; a back rub and chocolate chip cookies to an overwrought teen boy; instrumental music and a candle lit with a warm meal for a grumpy husband so worried about finances when he comes home from a hard day of work.

Grace is the undeserved and unforeseen act of kindness and patience that totally changes moments. It is the noble soul exercised toward the humble, needy, and grateful.

I am so very thankful that I have received so much grace from my wonderful heavenly Father. He keeps loving and giving and bearing with me through all my immature and awkward moments of life. Grace changes everything and redeems amazingly.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed ..." 2 Corinthians 9:8

How might you show grace to someone in your life who desperately needs it, today?

Discipleship on the Go!

I hate to say it, but enjoy today--it will all pass quickly! And in the end, they will be your very best, inner circle friends!!!!

As I say good bye to Joy in St. Andrews today and head back to send Joel to Cambridge. Sarah is now married and on a totally new track and Nathan is firmly planted in New York City, I will return home for the first time in 32 years! There is a hole in my heart--I will miss my best friends. So take time today to ENJOY THEM!

......................

The car was packed to the gills. Six people and their "must have" items— swimsuits, CD players, board games, favorite blankets, magazines, and lots and lots of snacks—competed for space in the crowded interior. One item we all agreed on as a necessity, however, was a rousing book on tape.

Every year when we started our ascent up the steep, winding roads to our favorite mountain town, we began a new book together. The only break we ever allowed in the narrative was a stop at an authentic A&W RootBeer drive-in along the way, where we would all indulge in big, cold Frosties (root beer swirled with ice cream).

Our pick for this trip was Gods' Smuggler, the thrilling autobiography of Brother Andrew, a Dutch factory worker who helped open up communist Eastern Europe to Christian missions. We all listened in rapt attention as the British narrator began to unwind for us the details of Brother Andrew's story. We learned about his early life—how the upheaval and heartbreak of World War II in Holland created questions and needs in the young man's heart. How he joined the army and how the death and devastation he witnessed while fighting in a brutal Dutch-Indonesian war led him to discover his own deep need for Christ.

As the story unfolded, we saw Brother Andrew learning to listen to the still, small voice of the Lord through his time of studying the Bible and in prayer. We saw him visiting Poland at the close of World War II, when the Soviet Union began to take over the country, and feeling compelled to visit a communist rally for thousands of young students. Though young and with few resources, Andrew dreamed that somehow God would use him to reach the millions of people behind the Iron Curtain for Christ.

Then the excitement really began as Andrew smuggled Bibles and Christian literature into Eastern Europe. Miracle after miracle took place as this young Dutchman trusted God for the impossible. Over and over again, God proved faithful through incredible, providential, and personal answers to prayers. And through it all, our family listened wide-eyed to this book that reads like a spy novel.

As we approached our destination, Clay reached to turn the tape off. "Dad!" all the kids cried at once, "Don't turn it off! We want to see what happens!"  As we talked about the story later that evening, Joel said, "I would love for my life to be like that. I would love to see miraculous answers to prayers and see God use me in a special way. I hope my life will be like that someday! We as a family need to pray like he did!"

I felt a thrill in my heart as I heard Joel voicing his desire to be used by God. In his eyes and voice I could detect the early signs of a heart totally committed to God and his purposes. This is what I had always longed to see in my kids. It is my central goal as a mother.

I don't just want my kids to be moral. I don't just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior. I don't just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction, and no premarital sex.

I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by him to accomplish great things for his kingdom. I want them to personally hear God's voice and have His Spirit's gentle touch and impression on their hearts as they read the Scriptures and struggle with the issues of their lives.

That's what God wants for our children as well. Whatever else we give our children as they grow, he wants us to pass along an eternal vision and purpose as well as a passion for Christ. If we are wise, we will keep this goal ever before us— to keep us focused on what really matters, on the ultimate purpose of our activity as parents.

"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise,making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil" ~ Ephesians 5:15-16 (NIV)

How can you make the most of the opportunities presented to you with your family, today?

**winners of last week's Teaching From Rest giveaway ... Angella, Elaine P., and Sarah Gommeson! Please email Misty at mkrasawski@yahoo.com with your home address, and we'll get them to you asap!

Teach your children how to think, not just what to think & A Great Giveaway!

As I write this post, I am speaking at a conference in Wales with families from all over the world. 

"Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you."

Drinking tea in cathedral cafes with friends from different countries, jumping from subject to subject, hearing stories from all ages, has made my trip to the UK for Sarah's wedding rich for my soul. As a seasoned missionary, who cut my teeth on the world as a young woman, I am probably most comfortable amongst people from many cultures and languages. Seeing a bigger picture of life gives scope to my own.  I remember as a young woman in our international chapel in Vienna, Austria, being amazed that we had 40 countries represented on Sunday mornings. It was a little bit like glimpsing what heaven would be like. 

Now through London and on to Cambridge to meet with friends from 30 years ago, and spending 3 days with parents from all over Europe this weekend while speaking at a conference,  causes me to see the fingerprints of God transcending through all cultures, all of history. These days give me a renewed glimpse into eternity where we will all be together to celebrate the ways God has worked through all peoples, all languages, to show His reality through His faithfulness through many diverse stories lived well. 

As a young mama, I wanted my children to see the whole world and to hear great stories of those who lived in other cultures, other generations--Amy Carmichael, Winston Churchill, Florence Nightingale, Wilberforce and others from the UK, the brave story of William Tell and Heidi in Switzerland, the rousing faith tales of brother Andrew and the story of Corrie Ten Boom, The biography of Ghandi, the tales of Mother Theresa, and so many great people from all over the world. 

Stories make deep roadways on the heart that become the basis for our children becoming heroes in their own lifetimes. But hearing about heroes of all countries, including the heroes of the Bible, grant such scope for imagination. 

Another great book I am happy to give away to my readers this week is Give Your Child the World. 

When I received a review copy,  I began to thumb through the book and thought, "I love this book!" I made a note to talk to Kristen about doing a podcast about it. 

Much to my surprise, after I corresponded with Jamie, I read her introduction. She had also worked in Poland like I had, she married a wonderful man from the UK, also a place I love. the more I read, the more I realized that she had a vision for her home and children must like mine! My brain juices began to work and I wanted to read more.

As a woman who had spent years in missions, I wanted my children to meet people from all over the world, to study cultural and historical stories that would inspire them and show them how God could use them to reach out to their world in their lifetimes.

Giving children an appetite for great stories helps all of us to engage in thoughts beyond our own realm, and increases our wisdom for life.

 I didn't  just want to dump a lot of facts into my children's brains. I wanted to give them a heart for the whole world, to become Kingdom keepers for all of God's messages. I wanted to help my children learn to think well by exposing them to stories of great people from all over the world. And one of the ways I stretched my own children's brains was to read them hundreds of great books about people all over the world. 

I would follow up with, "I wonder where in the world God will take you to live your own story worth telling! I wonder how you will change the world with the messages God puts on your heart.

And so, I loved seeing that this book combined both great books to read to stretch your children's understanding about the very international world in which we live, but also a challenge to help our children to think.

The basis of fruitful education is giving a student a love for learning.

Helping to engage a child's heart in knowledge, ideas, history, stories that inspire, thoughts that produce life and vision is the foundation for shaping a child into one who will grow intellectually the rest of his life.

Great books and inspiring stories must comprise the shaping of a great mind. But to fully live well and to flourish in this era, we must help our children to be "world" Christians.

Long ago, I was riding on a train through Austria. I had just finished speaking on a mission trip in Dubai, Macedonia, Poland, Hungary and Austria. As I was contemplating the trip our family had just completed, I remember God whispering to me. "You know, all of these people you spoke to come to me through their own cultural understanding and apply scripture through the Spirit's direction in their lives. I am not American. I am a God of truth beyond this time, your country and your small cultural misconceptions of me. I love the people in every country as much as I love American Christians. Worship me as I am in all countries."

What a profound thought at the time. I did not even realize I was holding on to American Christianity and that I needed to see Him through a new lens. But God was speaking to me through my thoughts, my experiences as I was reading His word. 

The American culture has produced a generation of teachers and a philosophy of education that is often comprised of fill in the blank and multiple choice. Children are shaped by the idea that there is only one answer. Often, even as Christians, children are given moralistic instruction that indoctrinates them, but does not engage their mind in the life of ideas about God or their heart with faith.

Moralistic instruction tends to be rule based and produces pharisees but not disciples.

Rule based education produces children who can memorize and spit back what is expected, but does not necessarily prepare them to think, to develop convictions based on truth or shape their brains with ideas that extend creativity, and scope for life.

Education of children in our homes must not merely give them facts to memorize and things to know, but real education cultivates the mental muscle of teaching children how to think.

Strong thinking skills come from engaging minds in great books, interesting ideas, great minds, good writing. Discussion of ideas and stories gives children practice at learning how to evaluate, and own their own ideas. Writing opinions and evaluations of stories, political views, world shaping ideas develops mental muscles and increases the capacity of the students in strong thinking skills.

 Give Your Child the World is such a great book. Lists of literature about stories from all over the world are given as a guide to help us know how to immerse our children in stories and cultures all over the world. 

For children to stand up against wrong philosophies, they must have grappled with the fallacies and incorrect thinking of the world views that are not consistent with scripture. They must swim in ideas that are different and beyond their own cultural expectations. Having a comprehensive view of the world is a part of becoming His light to real issues that confront us on a daily basis. Working from a grid that is based on wisdom and knowledge provides real intellectual understanding.

That is why books, literature, poetry and history are the basis of teaching children to think and to give them a broad understanding of the world, not just America. Instead of boring facts to memorize, children learn real ideas in the context of real people and great thinkers through time and in different countries and exercise their minds on the best minds that have lived throughout history. Studying God's word and memorizing scripture, discussing a Biblical world view and seeing the world from the eyes and experiences from different cultures is the food for great thoughts.

Thinking properly is the basis of worshipping God with our minds.

And so, understanding the importance of giving children practice at thinking, articulating their thoughts, interacting with stories and writing opinions is so important to building a soul that comes to truth from exercising their own minds. Children and adults who are encouraged how to think will be able to evaluate truth from fiction, clear thinking from indoctrination and will be able to hold confidently to truth in a world that denies the reality of God.

So, today, ask a question, read a story, give opportunity for your child to think and to engage his personality and soul in the work of real education. And be sure to give your children a heart for the world!

This is my third week to have the privilege of giving away some of my favorite books. This week, I will be giving away 5 copies of Give Your Child the World. Leave a comment about one of your favorite authors or stories of any kind and you will be entered in the giveaway. Thanks, Jamie, for this great book.

Buy this great book HERE.

Buy this great book HERE.

Our Strength is Found in Trust--And In Pouring Out!

Depression and fear are natural results of being in and surrounded by difficulties--three times in John we read that Jesus was troubled. But when we move into the presence of the Lord, we begin to see life from His eyes, so we are able to refocus and gain strength and instruction about how we can move ahead with grace.

I was feeling exhausted and depleted one day several years ago, when those feelings of depression and fear threatened once again.  As a mom, it seems I have spent myself on others forever--serving them, loving them, providing for them, and caring for their endless needs.

But there was another part of the puzzle of our own particular family. We had all agreed that God had called our whole family to work as a team in ministry, which meant lots of travel, serving, odd hours, and preparing our hearts so we could give out. 

I have spent myself as much as possible, for as many years as I can remember! This night, when I had to pack up--again--and knew that we would only get two to three hours of sleep before our alarm awakened us at 3:20 a. m. so we could get to our taxi to the airport, and then board our 6 o'clock plane, I felt pretty much like giving up--or giving in, whatever that meant! But this was not a foreign feeling to me, so I knew not to water it and give it more attention, but to file it in the file drawers of heaven.

Then I reminded myself of an important truth: decisions should never be made at night. Happy hormones are down and we truly need a night of sleep to build them up again--never pay attention to the dark thoughts of a late night! They kill and deplete and destroy.

So I poured my heart out to the Lord for a bit.  "I think I need a long, long rest, Lord. I think I may be getting irrelevant, dried up, unusable--I don't think I can go one more year in ministry. I feel like I am failing in keeping the ideals I talk about in my own home. I am tired and drained and discouraged! This is only the first trip of our busiest season yet, and I'm already tired. Can I please have a year off--just to rest, refresh and gain perspective?"

And so the dark cloud swirled around, hovering around my depleted heart, threatening and accusing and intimidating.  As for me, I did what needed to be done--I finished packing!

Nate came in and we had a long talk.  This was my last time with him before he went back to New York the next day, so I found strength to give to him, knowing how important and rare talking time had become for us.

Just as I finished with him, Joy came in changed into her "flying" clothes and crawled in bed with me. Seems she was overwrought from tiredness and depleted adrenalin from many competitions in speech and debate, and at fourteen, it all left her feeling a little weepy. "Mom, I can't get to sleep. Will you please snuggle with me? I just need to be close to someone."

So I snuggled my sweet girl until 1:00 am thinking, One more time; I can give out one more time, because this little bundle is so very precious to me! Finally, I fell asleep, looking at the clock for the last time at 1:23 am! The impossible had been done again; there had been enough strength after all, in spite of my tempestuous emotions and thoughts. I call this the amazing endurance of faith, putting one faithful foot in front of the other. 

The next day was a blur--we slept as if we were drugged on the plane. But Clay picked me up at the Denver airport with some of my own homemade cinnamon bread, toasted, plus cheese and toasted pecans and a "welcome" heart for the hour long trip home. When Joy and I arrived at the house, Sarah and Joel had lit every candle in our house; they had cleaned and put on a beautiful instrumental cd, along with a fresh pot of tea with muffins for a lovely tea time. We enjoyed it all together, only having two more days with them before they both took off to Boston.

For so many years, this is how I had greeted them--after trips, in the mornings, or when they returned home from adventures. How very encouraged I was to be in the life of home again-- this time, a lovely treat that my own, young adult children had created for me.

And again I was reminded: difficulties and weariness are constants in life.  The paradox is this: pouring out of ourselves is the answer.  First, the pouring out of our hearts, our emotions and worries and discouragement, to God in prayer.  And then, by faith and obedience, embracing His help and strength as we turn and pour into the precious lives around us.

But now I have lived long enough to see that my serving of them has made them servants of me and those who would come into their worlds. What we water will grow, what we practice, they will become.

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. ~Proverbs 11:25

And for a fun treat, here are the winners of the LoveGodGreatly You Are Forgiven books!  Teresa, Sheila Miller, Shanna, K, Shelley Roy, Ashe Franklin, Katherine Lief, Bekah S, Carissa, and Liz Walker--please email Misty at mkrasawski@yahoo.com with your mailing addresses as soon as possible and we'll get those sent your way!!!