An Ode to Tired Mamas & A Podcast: Lighten Up this Summer

My view of snow-covered PIke's peak from a park bench of  yesterday,--just sitting and  breathing in the beauty.

There once was a sweet mom with children,

Who worked day and night just to serve them,

She cleaned and she cooked and she taught and she booked,

Till she died of exhaustion and left them.

Sally Clarkson

Today, I was sifting through some old articles and ran across this--a silly poem I wrote in 2008, almost 10 years ago. Funny--life hasn't changed much! But over the years, I have learned a little bit more about pacing myself or at least seeing when I am dangerously close to burning out. Then I take the time to figure out how to set boundaries, how to live a more sustainable life--and I am at that place again--on the way to burning out, but stopping before I get there. One thing I must share, you don't get to quit being a devoted mama when your children become adults and move out of your home. It is just as demanding, only with bigger and more expensive issues. :) That is if you want to stay in the realm of being their devoted friend, their encourager, the one who will draw them to God's love and solutions. So, the poem still applies.

Ok, ok--it's not great poetry, but I did think there should be a short dedication to all the moms who have given and given and given with nary a one to appreciate them. I got tickled the other day. I had written the blog about taking Nathan to dedicate him to the Lord after taking him out to lunch and then the little story about taking Joy out for her 13th birthday. A sweet mom who read the blog was probably sending a comment to a friend and accidentally pushed the reply button and sent her email to me which said, "She makes me tired!" (I have done this before much to my horror--meaning to send a comment to Clay and instead sending it to the person who wrote it! Grace and peace--don't worry!)

But, I do think this task of ideal mothering is such a tiring calling and we all put ourselves under so much pressure to be perfect when we have too many sinful children,  no support systems, no breaks, no full time maids,  and they all want to eat and wear reasonably clean clothes every day !  And we are responsible for their character, manners, education and spiritual outcome, sense of well-being and happiness! A lot to ask.

In light of this, I also received another letter from a sweet mom. She asked if I ever blew it and yelled at my children! Yes, I have sinned often in the presence of my less than perfect children. I have had to accept myself as God does--it says in Psalm 103, "He is mindful that we are but dust!" Oh well, God says, Sally is just dust anyway, what can you expect from her?" As Joel my son once well said when I was in a tizzy over the messy house. "Mom, we will clean the house and it will just get messy again. But when you are sad, we feel guilty, like we have done something wrong. But when you are happy, we feel happy and like we are the greatest family in the world. So, Mom, lighten up and we will all be ok!"

We moms are giving out at a much faster rate than we are taking in and so depletion and exhaustion and consequences thereof are normal. So blowing a top once in a while is verynormal. I love the verse in Proverbs that says, "Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean." I have at least six oxen in my stalls all the time, so my stall is always in different degrees of clean-ness!

I just want to affirm all of you who are hard on yourselves. You are making a difference in this world-your work is eternal and extremely important. Don't give up what you are doing--ever, ever, ever. But, take a break. What will it take to fill your cup emotionally? Going out with a friend to an adult lunch where no one tastes of your food? Or being by yourself alone? Or sleeping? Take time this summer to put beauty and life and joy and fun and pleasure in your life.

Hope you enjoy the podcast today. Let us know what you think. And be sure to order The Ten Gifts of Heart so you can join us in 2 weeks for a new podcast series we will do together. This is a newer, reedited with a new cover version of 10 Gifts of Wisdom--either book will do! Kristen, Misty and I have had fun getting our summer fun ready for you. And our Story Formed Friends may just pop in with some great suggestions. 

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We will start our summer podcast series the first Monday of June. Hope you will join us, read along and make notes to help plan a great year ahead. 

PS FOR THOSE IN THE COLORADO SPRINGS AREA, NATHAN AND I ARE GOING TO BE INTERVIEWED FOR A COUPLE OF DIFFERENT SHOWS ABOUT OUR NEWEST BOOK, DIFFERENT ON TUESDAY, 10:30. JOIN US IN THE GALLERY WITH YOUR KIDS TO BE A PART OF THE SHOW AND WE WILL COME OUT TO VISIT WITH YOU. SEE YOU THERE!

Welcoming Interruptions

A glorious summer day was upon us as the gusty mountain breezes made swaying giants of the tall pines outside my window. With a deep sense of leisure, I enjoyed this small dance of creation as I sipped the last of my morning tea. I had enjoyed a rare, uninterrupted morning quiet time in which I actually had a chance to read, look out the window, and linger over a new book I'd received from a friend.

For two months, while older siblings were out of town, we were once again a two-child household. I had almost forgotten how much easier life is with just two at home, and I appreciated this peaceful season with fewer needs to meet. I was also really enjoying the personality and antics of my younger two who were, for the first time, free to claim my undivided attention.

And so after an unusually relaxing quiet time I should have felt ready to tackle the day. I had much to do this summer by way of plans: clear the bulging closets of excess clothes (some of which had never been worn), slog through the stacks of papers that had taken over my desk during a busy spring filled with ministry and travel, and finish Joy's math for the year. Last, but far from least, I needed to finish a long book I'd proposed to write, which was due by September.

As I thought about my To Do list, I could feel its weight grow heavy on my shoulders. My head was still whirling a bit from the plethora of graduation parties and a recent wedding in our home for a friend. Clay was also helping me to start two new blogs, which required me to do even more writing. I had barely begun work on the book, but Joy would be out playing with a friend today, and so I had to make my time count when the kids were out of the house. I needed this day to write.

And then came the knock on my door.
In response to my hesitant "Come in," Nathan poked his head inside my door.

Nathan, then 18, had been busy all summer with his many friends who had just finished the high school portion of their lives. They had designated every single day of the summer as their last chance to celebrate and make memories before they went their separate ways to various schools, jobs, and internships. They banged in and out of the door almost daily, reminding me of hysterically bouncy and playful puppies frolicking, nipping, and growling at each other. Theirs was an endless circle of laughter, eating, talking, and "going somewhere"— not one moment was lost! Nathan worked as a pizza delivery boy in between and took the occasional weekend job for a local marketing company. I had given up any expectations of seeing him much during this busy season of life.

"Hey, Mom, my friends are all busy today, and I don't have to work until tomorrow. How about you and I go out to lunch together today or go out for coffee or something since I don't have any definite plans yet?"

My mind immediately began to calculate what it would "cost" me to change my plans and give them all up for the whims of my persuasive son. I was so late getting this book written; there were just two more weeks of free time before I had to travel again; and Sarah and Joel would be back soon. I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to not even contemplate the crammed agenda of the coming fall. Instead, I just looked up and smiled.

"Let me take care of a few details and make a couple of phone calls, and then my day belongs to you," I answered with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

Now, I'll be the first to admit I didn't always respond this way when my plans were interrupted! I'm so grateful this time, though, that I was able to take a deep breath and think before I answered. I had made a decision that he and Joy would be the highest priority to me this summer, whatever it took. I knew that the window of opportunity for building my values, messages, and love for God into the lives of my two youngest children would soon close. So when my boy invited me in for time to make one more memory, I jumped at the opportunity!

There were those times when they were little that were the first of the times I was being trained to respond and change my plans: 

Crying from an infant's room, one more time when sleep was impossible.

A need to be rocked to sleep, held, sung to amidst one more ear infection.

"Mama, please play legos with me."

"Mama, read me a book."

"Mama, we spilled the paint all over the floor."

Yet, all of the times I was able to say "yes" are, I believe, stored up in their brains so that they could believe that God was willing to be patient, that He would listen to their requests when they prayed. What we do becomes a picture to them of how God responds. 

Jesus is the best example of having a gracious response to interruptions--we see His grace toward the woman with the issue of blood who touched Him while He was on His way to heal a deathly ill little girl; meeting with compassion the crowd that followed Him when He tried to have some time alone after His cousin John the Baptist was beheaded; and surely hundreds of times we aren't told about in the Bible. And so I determine to copy His example, and see interruptions as part of His plan for my day--especially when they involve the children He's given as gifts to my life.

Today, when you have to change your plans or find interruptions to the expectations of your life, look at them from God's point of view and understand that they just might be a divine appointment.

Summer Podcast Series!

Be sure to order 10 Gifts of Heart so that you can follow along with us to make notes in the journal section, to be able to underline the best parts of the book and to be able to make new notes for what you want to be sure your children have before they leave your home. Kristen, Misty and I have lots of plans for your summer inspiration and our Storyformed experts will be here to inspire. 

Buy on Amazon

Storyformed Summer, Part 1: Staying In & a New Podcast

Hello Storyformed Friends! In this NEW podcast episode, Holly Packiam and Jaime Showmaker share ideas about how to be intentional with  SUMMERTIME! You may be dreaming of what you would like summer to be filled with, but in reality your summer days may look like all the others. 

Even if many of your summer days are spent indoors in your normal routine, listen as they share ideas for how to make time with your kids meaningful. And of course this intentional time involves reading inspiring books! In Part 2, we'll share ideas for getting outside and reading books that will inspire a love of nature.

In addition to the books mentioned in the podcast, you can download the Summertime reading lists (PDF's) for 10 year olds and 12 year olds. 

CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast and to download the summer reading lists.

The Heart of Hospitality

"Come in and sit for a while and let's be friends," were the best words I had heard in months. My sweet friend, also new to Austria, and our work in Eastern Europe, was the first person in three months to actually invite me to her home for a meal. I had gone to language school, found my way around this new strange city, and even learned how to buy groceries with my very limited German, but I longed for a personal touch. Loneliness as I had never felt it thrummed through every beat of my heart. I wished for someone to talk to who understood the "foreign-ness" of being in a country where few people fluently spoke my native language.

I even remember what my sweet friend served me that night--meatloaf, cottage cheese and steamed broccoli. Not fancy, but it seemed so familiar and I remember it as one of the best meals of my life, because is was served with such kindness and love. She extended the hospitality of Jesus to me and it warmed me to my toes.

This kind of heart-hospitality is the heart of my own home as well as my new book, The Lifegiving Table. I want to replicate that feeling of being invited in, welcomed, and understood to my children as well as friends who come to spend time with us. 

Hospitality comes from the same root word as hospital, hospice, and hotel. Behind the words is the idea that hospitality seeks to provide for, protect, and care for the person who stays in your home. Hospitality is really committing to caring for the emotional, physical, spiritual needs of someone as long as they are in your home.

So often, we consider hospitality to be something that symbolizes perfect rooms with lovely decor, a well-prepared meal in a Martha Stewart-styled evening.

Yet, the history of the word was much more about heart than it was about performance. The heart of hospitality is modeled for us in the last supper, when Jesus lovingly prepared for His last evening with His beloved disciples. He prepared for these weary men He called His friends by choosing a quiet room, away from the noisy crowds. Food was carefully cooked and laid out to appease their manly appetites. Each man was served by having his dusty, dirty feet washed by the gentle hands of their master.

Candlelight flickered as the shadows of the setting sun crept along the walls of the old room. The comfort of being well provided for set the stage for their hearts to be open to the final, lasting words He desired to speak to the hearts of the men who would carry the kingdom messages into a dark and demanding world.

This summer, plan ways to serve your family and friends tasty food and heart-felt fellowship that will stay in their hearts for a lifetime. 

Our home is the place where we offer the hospitality of Christ to our children, our spouses, our friends and to the needy who live with us inside our walls.

What kind of plans do you have for making your home a place of true hospitality, this summer?

*quick note--our Mother's Day bundle winners are ... Jeannine Condon, Barbara Bianchi,
Kelly G, Kathy Josefy! Please email your physical address to admin@wholeheart.org . Congratulations!

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!

I am so excited to tell you that my newest book, The LIfegiving Table is now listed in Bookstore catalogues. It comes out in October and we will have lots of fun celebrating this launch with you. 

Our table was truly the centerpiece of our lives for shaping our children's hearts to love God, giving them intellectual strength and forging deep and close relationships. Can't wait to share it with you in October. 

And this time you can get it in a hard back version if you like. 

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time

By Sally Clarkson

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Writing a Living Story Through Your Children & A Podcast

Today, I am living my dreams.But it took a while to see the fulfillment of some of these dreams cherished over years.

I remember when I was 33 years old, I trudged through the snowy streets of Vienna where we lived, to a tiny little coffee shop down the street from our old home. The snow was a four foot wall on either side of the sidewalk where I slipped through the middle. Thirty-five days in a row of below 32 degree temperature necessitated me getting out of the house for a little while. I thought I might explode if I stayed there any longer. Sarah was almost 3 and Joel was barely 3 months old. My life was made up of nursing, changing diapers, trying to keep Sarah happy by playing with her inside our 100 year old, cold, 900 square foot home, and then the cooking, cleaning, getting up in the middle of the night and then doing it again. Somehow, this period of life seemed that it would never end, an endless merry-go-round of floating from one day after the other, but all very much the same.

Settling into my cushioned chair in the corner, I felt quite an adult. Ordering a melange, (cappucino), I got out my journal and started writing down how I felt about life. Someday, ..., I would like to....

Dreams, wishes, ideals, hopes spilled over from my heart to the lined pages.

"Some day, I would like to be a writer and be an author of books that encourage and inspire women."

I didn't know if God had seen my heart filled with hopes of faith, dreams, desire, but it was a sacred moment between me and Him that I will not forget.

Eleven years passed. Quiet times, teaching Bible studies, homeschooling my children, moving 5 more times, and making 1000 more meals, washing 2000 loads of clothes, and losing a fair amount of sleep, two miscarriages, and lots of life washed under the bridge. I prayed, worked, and built messages of life through seasons of years of putting one foot in front of the other.

My messages were not some "pie in the sky" out of touch with reality sort of messages. But, right in the messes of life, "God is here," "His beauty is in the moments," "His fingerprints are in my home, in the smiles of my little ones" sort of messages. He knew I needed years of authenticity in order to live through messages He was writing on my heart.

And then, my first book, Mom's conferences and speaking engagements began to bubble up. Eventually 11 books would spill out of my heart, but only when they had time to simmer right where I was living. I was writing the story of my life through the days I was living.

Faith, faithfulness and living and, ....., growing closer to God.

Each of us has a unique story to live and a unique story we are writing through the lives of our children. They will be the reflection of the story of the ways we invested our days, months, years.

I have always said that my children are the best book I have ever written. 

And then I happened upon this scripture:

You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men;

II Cor. 3:2
 

We are writing a story of what we believe, value, love through the ways we serve, educate and train our children. We are called to love, serve, inspire, help, give and He will direct the works of our lives and the ways we may each bring light--if we are willing to follow Him and do His bidding by writing His messages on their hearts, through their lives.

Each of us has a work to do for Him in this world. It starts with a choice to love, serve, and grow in Him today, right where you are. Today your children are a part of the story you are writing.

What kind of story are you writing with your children today? They will be a living letter of what you believed to their world when they are adults.

Kristen and I are so excited to share with you today some of the vision and details of the podcast series that we will be doing over the summer. We plan to have many ways to fill your heart, refresh your vision and to inspire you to keep going during the summer months when you may be a little bit freer of commitments.

We will be following a newly edited and somewhat rewritten book called The Ten Gifts of Heart. Watch the Blog as we will be giving away 5 copies when they are ready on Amazon. We expect to be able to see them appear on Amazon this week and when we see them, we will announce them to you. Get your own copy and follow along and write your goals and thoughts in the journal page of each chapter to keep to refer to at a later date. Tell your friends to join us as we shall have a grand time together. 

We at Mom Heart have been blown away by the many comments you all left this week. We will pick the winners later today. You are all amazing. We pray for you and can't wait to have a summer of inspiration with you. Thanks for participating.

Hope You Have a Wonderful Mother's Day! Still Time for the Giveaway Here ...

You are an amazing mom. Just take a look at your amazing children! Full of possibility and promise. They are your greatest gift and reward (Psalm 127:4).

Being a mother doesn't come free of struggle, difficulty, and hardship. Many moments in my life were filled with imperfect moments that overwhelmed me with stress. It is easy for us to sometimes imagine what else we could be doing. A more glamorous job, something overseas, something with meaning.

In the midst of the mundane tasks of laundry, cleaning, cooking meals, and bathing children, we often forget how incredibly important the task of motherhood truly is. God has entrusted us with lives to steward. We are responsible for the growth and education of these little lives that have the ability to flourish into world changers. Our children are the future of our culture. This generation will face many battles, and God has given us the job of preparing them for combat.

No meal, clean house, or blog article is more important than mothering your precious children. Psalm 127:3 says:

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

I am fully aware that in the midst of children fighting, a cluttered home, and extremely loud noises, you may not be viewing your children as a reward. Your patience, grace, love, and understanding in those moments of stress are what will cultivate your children into healthy, flourishing adults.

Never forget that God has a plan and a purpose for your life as a mother. He must think highly of you, as has trusted you with the most important job.

"The ultimate key to providing a nurturing environment in my home is me.

The physical surroundings can make a big difference. The lessons provided can be interesting. The curriculum I choose can challenge. 

In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home

or perfect training

or a perfectly spiritual role model

or a wife without faults--

but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a living home for them and to fully live the life of Christ in the borders of this home in such a way, that they understand, feel, taste His reality."

~Sally Clarkson,

I hope you have a lovely Mother's Day. I know God is celebrating you!

It's been a treat to read all your comments about motherhood here--my team and I are praying for so many of you! I hope you'll win one of our prizes this weekend-- one of four motherhood book bundles! A copy in each of The Ministry of Motherhood, Own Your Life, and The Lifegiving Home. To enter (if you haven't already) just let us know ... what would be included in your perfect Mother's Day? Leave your answer in a comment below! We'll draw winners and announce them here on the blog Monday morning!

Stories to Inspire Motherhood

Jaime Showmaker

I collect old books.  Or, I should be more honest and say that I hoard old books. One of my favorite pastimes is waffling through old, dusty, second-hand book stores (the more stacks piled up to the ceiling, the better), searching for those perfect hardback editions of my all-time favorite stories. I have dreamy visions of a home library that contains beautiful copies of any classic that my sons would ever need (or want) to read over the course of their school years.  I work to fill our home with books that I believe will help strengthen my boys minds and nourish their souls. My husband teases me mercilessly because whenever I go anywhere, I usually come home with a trunk load of heavy, tattered, cheap, but gorgeous old books to add to our buckling shelves, and I say I am building our sons' inheritance. So, of course, when it comes to gifts, I can think of nothing I could ever want more than a beautiful, old, beloved book.

Two years ago, for Mother's Day, my husband and boys surprised me with just that. It was a first edition, signed copy of Kate Douglas Wiggin's book, Mother Carey's Chickens. I had been familiar with Wiggin's classic Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, but it had only been in the previous year that I had discovered this lesser-known gem, and it had quickly become one of my all-time favorites.  I opened the spine and discovered that on the front flyleaf, yellowed with age, Wiggin had inscribed a quote from the book: "I'm just a mother, that's all," said Mrs. Carey with a smile." As I read those hundred-year-old words, written in faded ink above her signature, I blinked back tears. I was overwhelmed that my husband had tracked down such a valuable copy of one of my very favorite books and had given it to me on such a special day. But the tears were induced by more than gratitude over such a priceless gift. It was Wiggin's words in beautiful script that moved me: I'm just a mother, that's all. 

"A mother, living well in her God-ordained role, is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation." -Sally Clarkson, Desperate: Hope For The Mom Who Needs To Breathe

CLICK HERE to read more at Storyformed.com

The Importance of Motherhood ... And a Mother's Day Giveaway!

It's not easy being a child these days.

I listen to them talking around tables, gathered in groups at restaurants; watch their characterization on television shows and movies. I wonder if we understand as well as we think we do what it's really like to grow up during this season. Sometimes it seems that so much has changed, today's children live in a different world than the one I grew up in. The hurried, harried pace of it all wearies me as a mother, and I can only imagine its effect on this generation which has known nothing else.

As the world's raging current rushes past our homes, what happens inside?

Are we creating spaces of peace for our children? When they come to us with the hard questions about the difficult things in life, do we have real answers for them? Are we well-equipped to buffer the young ones from the onslaught of the world even as we prepare them to make their way--and even overcome-- in it?

They say the more things change, the more they stay the same. And I do believe this is true when we think about what our children really need from us as mothers.

They don't need sweet platitudes of faith that will momentarily placate their emotions. They need the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical worlveiw and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship. They need an unwavering, internal moral and spiritual compass that will help them weather today's storms and tomorrow's and will guide them for the rest of their lives. They also need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out; so they will have a pattern to follow.

The process of providing such gifts to my children is what I've come to think of as the ministry of motherhood. I believe it's central to the calling of anyone God has privileged to bring children into this world.

If you are a mother, it's your ministry too." ~from The Ministry of Motherhood

Part of what's so difficult is that this same current carries us mamas along with it. Determining to live with grace and faith, to walk in integrity, to slow down--even to enjoy summer! -- will require a line in the sand. We must own our lives! We have to decide what's most important, or culture will be happy to do that job for us.

I so pray my words here are a blessing and encouragement to you in this incredibly important, great work of motherhood. This week, I'm giving away four prizes--bundles of a few of my books; The Ministry of Motherhood, Own Your Life, and The Lifegiving Home! Enter by answering this question below in the comments ...

How do you feel about the ministry of motherhood?

Friends, Angels and Foundations & A New Podcast!

Running into an Angel Friend, Kristen and I sharing messages on our hearts, being with friends,  made this a wonderful conference.

Cottage talk is one of my girls' favorite subjects. As they have grew toward independence, they would often speak of moving into their own places and building a haven for themselves and their own families. Sarah has made her row-house in Oxford where she and Thomas live, a place of beauty, interest, charm and comfort. How fun to have dreamed with her over the years and to have watched the reality of her artist touch as she built her home into a haven of life. Our talks always included their taste in architecture, decorating, colors, favorite pieces of art and furniture. To build an atmosphere and to design comfort and beauty and functionality in a home, requires forethought, skill, materials, planning and then a lot of sweat equity.

But, the home or apartment or castle that becomes home is only as secure as its foundations. If the foundation is sure, true, built well, it will hold the home in place for endless years, through all who live there, all who bring color and life and beauty in their own way.

The same is true of child nurturing--or building your home into a legacy of spiritual  and emotional, educational life requires laying strong sure foundations.  With planning and hard work our home becomes a  place of character building, development of moral character, cultivating faith, teaching manners, modeling mature relationships, slowly building and understanding of love and how to express it and so much more. Each of these facets builds a place that can also reflect beauty, values, personality and excellence.

But the building of any kind of superior, lasting house, spiritual or real, will not happen in by merely reacting to life.  This sort of house must be planned and formed and shaped with wisdom, skill and with diligence.

Today, I am announcing a summer series that I have been working on about building foundations for your own heart and soul so that you will have a grid from which you plan in building the foundations of your own children's lives and hearts. We will follow the chapters in our newly revised and reedited book, the 10 Gifts of Heart. You can get your copy from Amazon in the next week or so to use for the summer to take notes, to read and to be inspired about shaping areas in your home and children's lives that will help build them into strong adults when they exit your home. (It is in the process of being accepted into Create Space, a print on demand function of Amazon.)

I do pray for all of you who read here--that you will find God to lift your burden--that you will find friends to meet with to encourage you along this important path and that you will understand how very much your dedication to raising your children for His pleasure and glory will matter for eternity.

I am also sharing a podcast we just recored here in Portland where I am staying for a few days. I can't wait for you to hear the story of my sweet friend who rescued Joy and me in Italy in our time of need and I did not know she was going to show up in Portland at our Mom Heart conference. What a surprise to see my friend Shauna from Italy here in the States. 

You will also hear from Kristen and me. We will be doing lots of fun things this summer to give you ideas of activities to do in your home over the summer, recipes, posters, books to read and other fun ways to help the summer pass well. Hope you will like our ideas and be renewed and re-inspired this summer to build strong foundations of faith in your home.

Enjoy! I am off to tea time here in the Northwest but love hearing from you. Let me know how you enjoy our podcasts.

Child-Like Faith, and Holding On To Dreams

One night several years ago, my two girls and I were on my bed talking of dreams and the lives we hope to enjoy as a family. I was covered up--my two girls were tucking me in! Truth be told, it was a bittersweet time for me, listen to their hearts and desires, as I know that there are many dreams I have held all of my life that have not yet come true ... but I still dream them. And of course, I knew even then that some of their dreams would lead them far from me--as indeed, they have! But how precious it was to hold this time in my memory when hearts were open and deepest desires shared and we were all snuggled together as I fought to keep my eyes open.

God's will originally was that all women would have the opportunity to get married, to have children (who are by all Biblical standards, a blessing), and to do their work of life in harmony with their partners in life, their husbands. They would have the glory of being able to leave a legacy of righteousness, beauty, productivity, legacy and tradition. Through the family, they were to pass on righteousness and a loving relationship with God for every generation.

Truth be told, I want to support my children whatever diverse circumstances their lives hold and to be a source of love and support, if they get married, if they stay single, if they are able to have kids, if they work or don't--I want to be the cheerleader they need wherever God leaves them. 

However, I would love for each of my children to have a life partner who will be their best friend, companion, comforter, to provide a sense of belonging in their lives through all the battles, sadnesses, joys and adventures. I would love that. But, if they do not find that in this lifetime, I know they will all find stable companionship and support as "I will always have your back," siblings,  as the are a close group. Still I pray for it for each of them.

Yet, all of us find ourselves in a broken world, where few share our values.  Many children of my own children's generation have ended up with broken hearts because of growing up in broken families, with wounds, with neglect or passivity, or anger passed on from generations of anger passed on.

I would love to say that my children will all have the opportunity to meet godly, righteous spouses who have a dream of building family influence in their generation. I pray for it every day. It is the pattern God designed. 

Yet, I have also tried to help prepare my children for the reality of the disappointment that comes from living in a broken world, where they may have to endure the challenges of life with grace without getting what they had hoped for. There is no magic bullet, no magic formula to ward off irrational, immature people who will come their way, or to protect them from the evil that exists in every realm of lifel. 

 As we face another day, I am sought to give them hearts renewed for bringing light and beauty into the moments of their lives, to be a witness to the world of those things we have cherished in this life, whatever God's will ends up being for them.

C.S. Lewis reminds us that we have deep longings for another world because we were made to have those longings fulfilled. So in this life we live with the tension of what we can dream and imagine in a world that falls short of our ideals.

At the end of one of our Momheart conferences, one sweet woman, in tears, asked me, "How long do you keep praying for your dreams to come true, for God to answer prayers, and when do you quit and accept God's response as 'no'?"

Well, I can't answer exactly because I don't know God's will for her life, but I do feel that the older I get, the more childlike I seek to be. There is a temptation in life to become cynical and crusty. When I studied some of the verses about God's will this year, however, I was impressed again to pursue child-like (not childish) faith--to keep believing my God can do anything; to believe in His goodness and in prayer.

Maybe a child has become a prodigal or a marriage is a lonely one or brokenness in some form has scarred your life--and these are not the things you dreamed about happening in your life. The older I get the more I see the consequences of sin in our world and of people making decisions that have terrible consequences--and all of those things are a part of what effects our lives.

But we can seek to make our marriage stronger, one of peace, one where the life within us brings grace and beauty. Or we can keep praying for our prodigal and practice unconditional love and forgiveness in a way that will win our wayward child's heart. We are called by God to be a redeemer in the midst of our circumstances as well as to trust Him to work.

There is a seasoned wisdom in faith that says, "I am willing to believe in miracles because I know you can work in amazing ways in my life, Lord. But I am also willing to wait for you to reveal your goodness in my life in your time, because even while waiting, I choose to believe that you hear me, you care and you will take care of me even in the questions of life.

So, I continue sharing my own dreams with Him. I pray for miracles. I pray for Him to do great things in and through the lives of my children, Clay, and me. I ask Him to knock down walls, to stretch our sphere of influence, because I want everyone to know how personal, responsive and gracious He is. I want, like a child, not to measure my life by what I can provide for myself, but by what He is able to do as I believe and trust in Him.

It may be that some of my deep down, inner secret dreams may not be realized until heaven. But I can never imagine a time when I will be able to say, "Now I think God is telling me to live by what I can see and not to have faith anymore!"

And so, today, I am writing down in my journal just some of the things He has put on my heart to keep dreaming--and then placing them--and my girl's dreams-- into His lovely, capable hands, knowing and having experienced that over all my years, He has shown me His faithful love.

How about you? What are you dreaming/praying for? How can you choose to live as a child who knows she will see her Father's goodness and expects that He will take care of her. 

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27: 4