Wishing You Joy, Sweet Mama! & Podcast with Joy & Nathan

Today, as I think of so many of you sweet mamas and women with mama hearts serving, giving, loving, I wish I could personally:

*Serve you a cup of tea, with a vanilla candle lit and shimmering in the breeze, a scone, and talk on my Colorado front porch for hours and hours

*Give you a dozen of your favorite flowers in your favorite color

*Grant you one year of a housekeeper (not a once a week cleaner) but someone who would shop for all the groceries and make all the meals and do the dishes and wash the laundry and put it away.

*Provide you with 3 whole nights of sleep without any interruption

*Give you 5 certificates to have a back massage

*Buy you 5 meals at an adult restaurant where you could be spoiled

*Tell you that every kiss you give, every song you sing to a baby or toddler, every word of encouragement given is going into eternity as an act of love that will be remembered inside a little soul forever.

Truth is, women with mama hearts are heroes who civilize, hold together, love generously, give hope, bring giggles and laughter into life, and light the spark of faith in the hearts of those they serve with such faithful hearts.

You matter. Your labor matters. Your life is not hidden but seen and cheered on by the angels in heaven that daily see the face of Jesus.

Nathan, Joy and I put together a little podcast just because we want to wish all of you well this Sunday when women with mother’s hearts will be celebrated.

Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, & Quiet Joy & Podcast

When I was first pregnant, I was almost 31, had been in ministry for 10 years and considered myself a fairly mature woman for my age—and then I had 3 children in less than 5 years. I was caught in a whirlwind of life, with never a stop, noisy, overwhelming life and sometimes I just wanted everyone to go away—for a little while. And of course then I would feel guilty!

Life as Mom is LOUD, but you long for quiet .



Jamie and her husband and 3 children.

Today, in my podcast, I talk with my friend, Jamie Martin, about her new book called:

Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy 

I wish I had this book when I was a young mom because I think it would have given me permission to seek some quiet, soul filling time without guilt. It took me years to learn this truth. So many moms I know have said, “You know, I used to think I was an extrovert but now I think I might be an introvert.”

I think that having round the clock children can be so draining at times that we just long for peace and quiet and that is why we consider ourselves introverts—even when some of us aren’t.

When the volume of family life clashes with your personality, frustration, guilt, and overwhelm naturally result. In Introverted Mom, author Jamie C. Martin lifts these burdens from your shoulders, reminding you that your steady strength is exactly what your family needs in this chaotic world. 

Jamie shares vulnerable stories from her own life as well as thoughts from other introverted mothers, letting you know you're not alone. Her practical suggestions and creative inspiration are enhanced with quotes and insights from four beloved writers--Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, L. M. Montgomery, and Laura Ingalls Wilder. Together, Jamie and this band of fellow introverts gently point you toward hope, laughter, and joy.

Whether you've just realized you're an introvert, or if you've known it all along, this book is for you. It's time to honor who you are and savor life as an introverted mom.

Links that might be helpful:

Book landing page - https://jamiecmartin.com/introvert/ (includes information about the bonus offer for those who order before Mother’s Day)

Simple Homeschool - https://simplehomeschool.net 

Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/jamie_cmartin/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/simplehomeschool 

Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy

By Jamie C. Martin

Mother’s Day bonus description: Order Introverted Mom before Mother’s Day ends and receive five “introverted mom” beautifully designed prints ready to be printed and framed!

Hope you enjoy the podcast today.

Grace: The Gift that Opens Hearts 24 Way 20 & Podcast

John Robert Dicksee

Gracious: characterized by kindness, thoughtfulness, and warm courtesy.

Tea-time-relationships: serving someone thoughtfulness, time and kindness has opened many hearts in my life-time.

"Graciousness is that quality in a person's behavior towards others that shows them their worth, their value in God's eyes and honors them based on God's image and imprint on their lives. "

Sally C.

WAY # 20: We choose to be gracious, even when we do not feel like it! 

Memory Verse:

"Let love of the brethren continue. 2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some haveentertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:1-2

Deep throated shouting, the shrill screams of a woman, dust flying, crowds running to see the spectacle, left the terrified woman fearing for her life. The Pharisees were bringing a woman caught in adultery and were attempting to test Jesus to see just how liberal He was--to see if He would defy the law and extend his hand of grace to a woman waiting to be killed by the stoning the law required.

Perhaps this woman was poor and had stooped to make money the wrong way. Perhaps she was abused, or deeply wounded and lonely. Or even just selfish and caught in lust. But, in the crowd of men, screaming, jeering people, she must have felt terror, shame, fear and grief all at once.

Jesus, the God who had formed her, looked into her eyes, saw her heart, knew all of her days and acts, and knew her deep need for forgiveness. I imagine Him giving His hand to her to pull her off the ground, helping her brush the dust off of her garment. And then, he extended a gentle but authoritative voice of graciousness.

"Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either." John 8: 10

Jesus, the perfect one, who "while we were yet sinners, died for us." Jesus, who, "although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God to be grasped." Jesus, "while being reviled, did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God."

When Jesus looks into the eyes of my heart, He invites me in--to know His love, His wisdom, His truth, His admonition, His correction. Always, He is gentle and meek, as that is His way. Being in His presence does not call me to want to sin more, quite the opposite. His example of dignifying me and all of us of His children by seeking us out, redeeming us, being gentle and long-suffering with us, causes me to want to be more righteous, more sacrificial, more generous, more of a servant. His life transforms me. But His life is one of gracious behavior.

How many people are in our lives who have felt the sting of condemnation, criticism, abuse and we might be the only ones who show them the gentle, gracious, humble love of God.

When we teach our children to be gracious, we are teaching them:

Not to judge but to see themselves as those who extend the supernatural forgiveness of God

Accepting the awkward parts of your loved ones personality or immaturity by giving gestures of love

Teaching them not to think about themselves but others

Training them to have self-control over their emotions--to choose to be gracious as a part of the values that inform their behavior

Showing them how to face the world as Jesus did--not as a legalistic Pharisee, but as the servant King

When someone is king or thoughtful or honoring of me, it ministers to me greatly. In a world of cynicism, easy judgement on facebook, (I cringe every time someone easily criticizes me--especially when many of my critics have never even met me.), and a world of back-biting and gossip, the graciousness of God which honors a person because God has honored them, is transforming and will draw others to Christ.

And so, we treat our children with respect, serve them in humility, choose to use honorable words to our husbands, to friends, because when they learn this attribute of God, they will become those who win the souls of others who are so longing for someone to validate their worth.

This is something we practice, we grow in. If you are like me, you blow it and lose your patience. But God Himself, humble, bowing His knee in the dirty ground, asks us to do as He did. The more I practice and ponder this attribute of His behavior, the more amazed I am that He would ever forgive me--but in knowing His gentle, dignified and generous honoring of His very own children, I have come to love Him more and appreciate my salvation more deeply because I understand each day how much I do not deserve it.

May God give each of us the strength today to behave in a gracious way, so that the world may see what Jesus is like through us every day.

Winning Your Child's Heart, as Jesus Won Yours

I remember when I first took Sarah into my arms. I was literally shocked at how much love I felt for her. I kissed her over and over and wept and held her and sang to her and stroked her at every moment. I was not prepared for my heart to be filled with so much wonder, such depth of emotion. Maybe it was because I was in my 30's and had wanted to get married for so long, and now found myself starting a family, which was a miracle to me. A baby from my own body created a life in the love channels of my heart that is beyond explanation.

When a baby is welcomed into the world and cherished and embraced and prayed over, it begins a pattern in the baby's brain that literally communicates and establishes brain pattern expectations of life: I am loved, I feel good, it makes me happy, I belong. These very patterns cause that same baby to already have patterns of significant theological implications that will be responded to when this same child is confronted with the reality of God. He is love, He accepts me, I have a place to belong, I can feel good about responding back to God's love, as it is already familiar to my brain.

When babies begin growing, and the issues of child discipline and training come to the fore, I have observed that many often leave that relational, heart-felt attachment and begin to behave differently toward them. I have seen that many, many moms, because they do love their babies and want to get it right, begin at a very early age responding and initiating to these very babies as though they are a challenge to be overcome, a contestant to be ruled over. And since so many extra-biblical books of advice (suggestions--but not necessarily taking into account the full counsel of scripture) abound in Christian circles, moms follow the rules and expectations of the voices they are reading and hearing. We all long for an easy formula to make parenting quick, predictable, and long-lasting.

I do not see that in my own relationship with God as my Father. He works slowly in my life to train, love, test, teach and to conform me to the image of Christ. It is little by little, bit by bit, one lesson at a time.

However, in all relationships, (parenting, friendship, marriage, work), people are designed by God to respond from their heart. If their hearts are attached and served by the people relating to them, and their felt needs are met, people will tend to respond to that love.

Let me give you an example. Suppose my husband came to me at home and said, "Now, Sally, we are married and I am your husband and these are my standards of what I expect in our home. I want a clean house, a homemade dinner on the table, with my preferences for food noted. I expect you to rule over the children so that they will behave, memorize scripture, be read to, learn to play a musical instrument well, be mannerly, have godly character, and learn a good work ethic.

Since we are also a Christian home, I expect you to read a chapter of the Old Testament every day and a chapter of the New Testament and I want the kids to have 3 books of the Bible memorized by the time they are 10. I will be checking with you every day to correct anything you have done that is not up to my standards and I expect you to live up to these goals because you are my wife. We are a Christian family and if we keep all of these ideals, our children will turn out to be moral, spiritual, hard working adults, agreed?”

What if, then,  every day when my husband would come to me, he would say, “I noticed that someone left a sock on the den floor and you have not succeeded yet in training our children well. And I also did not appreciate that fast food dinner last night--it had 1000 grams of saturated fat and was filled with chemical additives and I think you are becoming a little bit lazy for not making me a homemade meal. I also noticed that two of the kids misspelled a word on their thank you notes to the grandparents, and and and.................and you need to work harder, get up earlier, and make a better schedule, since we are falling behind on our goals."

Goals given to me as a list by a husband who dictated what my behavior should be, without consideration of a relationship, would produce death, not life in my relationship to him.

I would never flourish in this kind of relationship--feeling always a failure, always a disappointment. Eventually, I would feel like giving up.

This kind of  a relationship would demoralize me very quickly and defeat me, causing me to begin building up anger because the standards would be so far beyond what I could attain as a limited, sinful, selfish human being (and my children also being immature and unable to keep up with these high standards.)

All of these ideals are good as goals--they are filled with sound wisdom and can provide life and instruction, but as laws they would kill my soul if they were not given through a relationship of mutual love and respect.

Imagine instead if my husband invited me out to my favorite restaurant for dinner. When I got there, he had a vase with a beautiful rose on the table, a tiny gift wrapped up with ribbon, a new ipad with my wonderful playlists of music downloaded, a tiny speaker playing my favorite music. My heart would immediately be engaged. Now, if during the dinner we shared together, my husband communicated his love of me, his special commitment to me, his delight in me, I would have a heart ready to respond to ideals.

If then he said, "I want you to know that I am so excited to build a family with you. I will be here to support you in all of your hard work. I will see that you don't become exhausted. I will be your partner in this and we will build a great legacy together. We will not be able to accomplish this all at once, but I want to spend a lifetime with you building our dreams and vision. Whenever you need me, I will be there because I love you so much."

Please note— I am not writing this post to cause anyone to feel depressed because this is not their husband---there is no perfect husband and they all need grace like we do. I don't think this perfect husband exists--it was just an example! :)

But, as one of my friends has said many times, "A woman will do so much for so little if a man will just learn how to woo, love and communicate appreciation."

And so of course, when I feel cherished I am much more likely to give my all, especially if I have time  to grow and develop and get rest along the way.

God is that kind of lover.

He is a provider (look at nature--gardens, colors, animals, and foods that He crafted for our pleasure.)

He gave us ideals and purpose, as we see through scripture.

He saw that we were lost and falling and ultimately, He came amongst us, giving up any comfort or honor that He held in heaven.

He served, washed feet, fed, laughed with, lived with, and encouraged his own precious disciples.

Similarly, our life with God is not measured  in the rules or goals or laws that he gives. But, as the author of these ideals, and bound up in His love and care for us, God uses truth to work on our hearts in relationship.

He comes as the servant king, the one who lays down His life, the one who is humble and meek.

As a good parent, God gives us wisdom and guidance so that our lives will be healthy, strong, protected.

So God becomes our pattern for parenting.

He served and loved and sacrificed and gave of Himself, so that we would long to be holy out of our gratitude and reverence and love for Him. He called His disciples to serve, to love, to give and to be holy. He gave them true life, beauty, and love that filled their deepest needs and longings to live a purposeful life.

And so after 3 years of intense friendship, when He said, "Greater love has no one than this, that a man lays down his life for his friend," they had heard it, seen it modeled, felt the benefit of it, and seen the integrity of it in their teacher, and so they willingly embraced this high ideal.

Consequently, it is not in getting the rules right or in defining all of the right ways to do things, or believing perfect theology that will make our children want to serve God.

It is in laying down our life for them,

serving them,

listening to them,

giving them our time,

loving who God made them within their limitations,

calling them to holiness as we model integrity and worship in front of them,

that will secure in them a desire to love God with all of their hearts.

By seeing our love, they will more easily understand and receive God's love, as it will already be familiar to their hearts and brains because they have seen it and experienced it every day.

Teatime Discipleship: Lifegiving Table #10 and Podcast

Table Discipleship Principle:

Deep friendships and connected relationships happen best when intentional encouragement is planned and given on a regular basis.

Butterflies flittered in my stomach as I peered anxiously out the window of the red-and-white Austrian tram, which was slowing to a stop. I could just see the façade of a grand, ornate white-marble building behind the elaborate park of its tree-lined entrance.

Quickly I looked out to the other side of the street and spotted another imposing structure with a sign in front that read Volksoper. That was the clue I was looking for, the landmark my friend had described when she told me where to meet her.

I pushed the button to exit and was caught in the crowds of boot- wearing, wool-coated, and scarved people pushing their way in and out of the door. Frigid weather outside caused our breath to swirl in steamy curls as each of us rushed to our own destination.

Crossing the street with cars whizzing by and trams going in two directions on the unfamiliar street triggered a rush of adrenaline. But then, right in front of me as I made it safely across the street, I saw my destination—Café Landtmann, one of the oldest coffee houses in Vienna.

I entered and glanced around, getting my bearings, and was confronted by a waiter dressed formally in black, who spoke to me in German. Not knowing what he had said, I shook my head and put my hands up in total incomprehension. He then spoke loudly, too loudly for my comfort, and pointed to a coatroom. Quickly I understood that I was not allowed to take my coat into the café area. I walked over and handed my heavy navy-blue coat and scarf to a small woman who hung it up and gave me a number in return.

Everything I was doing was completely foreign to me. I had no prior expectations about how to do life in formal Vienna in the late 1970s. But I just kept muddling through and looked around until I found the entrance door to the room where people regularly met for afternoon coffee.

It was a magnificent space. Green and brown velveteen cushioned seats, dark wood ceiling beams and inlays, and a formal crystal chandelier gracing the center of the room gave the café a grand old-world elegant atmosphere. I was drawn in to the warmth of friends talking, leaning forward, sipping drinks in intimate groups. But I couldn’t help feeling a little out of place until I saw my friend Gwen waving at me from a small window table toward the back that looked out at the magnificent building I had seen from the tram.

We greeted each other, and finally I was able to breathe out my last bit of anxiety. Now I was with a companion who could speak my language and who delighted in my company. Her arms of friendship embraced me, giving warmth and energy back to my depleted soul.

“I have ordered you my favorite coffee, a mélange, and a warm treat they serve only on the cold days of winter. It will warm our insides,” Gwen announced with a delightful, pleased-with-herself smile.

We sat and sipped and chatted and giggled for three hours, almost without stop. The treat had been Milchrahmstrudel, a sort of sweet cottage cheese–filled pastry smothered in warm vanilla sauce, and it had indeed warmed me—but not as much as being with Gwen did. One of the deepest friendships of my life had been nurtured over a cup of something hot and some honest conversation.

Cafés are sprinkled all through the city of Vienna, and each is filled to overflowing every day as friends stop amidst the busyness of their days to share some moments of rest and to sip a steaming cup of tea or coffee together. I found this custom irresistible and adopted it for myself. And when we returned to the States, I looked for new ways to make it part of my life. Because I’ve always been a bit of an Anglophile, I eventually added the English tradition of afternoon tea to create my own personal approach.

Over time, my teatime habit became a foundational discipling tool for me. Taking time in the middle of a busy day to focus on a real live person and share our hearts over tea or coffee became a way of connecting with other women, with neighbors, and especially with my children—and even with my swirling, hurried self.

Eventually, I developed the practice of hosting people in my home for tea. To say, “You are welcome at my table. I have prepared for you. I would like to know you” was a way of inviting people into my life in a personal way. Teatime discipleship became a habit of stopping, looking someone in the eye, and making a space that says, “I care about you.” It was also an unthreatening way to begin getting to know them, ask- ing them questions, and gaining access to their hearts. And it was an unparalleled way to build and nurture friendships.

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time

By Sally Clarkson

The Lifegiving Table Experience: A Guided Journey of Feasting through Scripture

By Sally Clarkson

Patience is a Virtue (Our Family Way #19 and Podcast)

Way #19:

WE CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT, EVEN WHEN WE FEEL LIKE GETTING OUR OWN WAY.

Memory Verse: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32

Gnarly branches twist and turn all around the trunk of our mysterious ancient tree, that whispered to us of  old untold stories. it held the mystique of the generations it had witnessed but hid from our sight.  Surely, as it stood in a cattle tank and was well watered, it knew the lives of those living in the 75-year-old farm house standing nearby. Majestic in the hidden brush of some property our family owns right in the middle of Texas, it was a hiking destination on many evening walks. Most of the trees on our 200 acres are small scrub oak, but this is the grand daddy of all the trees! When the kids and Clay and I first discovered it for ourselves, we could not believe how amazingly large it is. With our whole family holding hands around the tree, we could not even totally enclose the circumference. It is much larger even than it looks in this picture that my brother-in-law, Wiley Clarkson, took!

If only this tree could talk! It has grown and given shade to many people through the years, but it is thought to have lasted generations. Yet even this gigantic tree started out as a little sprig, but with all the potential of becoming large, old, and grand hidden within at its very inception. It took a very, very long time for that potential to become actual. This tree grew through storms, drought, tornadoes, and lightning. The tree has a story to tell now, since it has lasted longer than all of the other trees that began when it did.

As I have been reflecting on my life, I see that God has taken all of the years and made them fruitful and productive. Most days, I could not see the growth. Yet, over the years, God was building a legacy through our family, our children, our ministry and our writing and speaking--but each day was lived and invested one day at a time, waiting, hoping that our faithfulness mattered.

There were seemingly desolate times of illness, loneliness, financial issues, emotional hurts and separation from other "Christians" that broke our heart. And yet, God kept saying daily in our quiet times,

"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27: 14

There just don’t seem to be any verses that say, "Give up now--this is the time." or "Don't be patient with those immature, irrational people in your life--you deserve to quit since life is hard!"

Quite the contrary--verse after verse tells us to wait, hope, work, be steadfast, cultivate faithfulness--to just wait and be patient and we will see God work.

God, by allowing us to wait, is building faith, leadership, spiritual muscle, and maturity into our lives.

Patience is learned moment by moment in irritating circumstances.

It is learned through seasons--(terrible twos, tricky teens, hormonal middle age, old age senility). Teaching your child little by little to be patient, to control His spirit, to exercise self-control, is training your child to learn to wait on God.

Contemporary culture gives us permission to compromise at every point--marriage, commitments, ideals, friendship--we want instant gratification--we are the generation of "I want it now." Yet, God's will is to build the character of Christ in us and His way is to teach us to wait--to rule over our emotions and to be still and know that He is God.

Patience leads to all sorts of strength--spiritual, mental, physical, skill acquisition, musical accomplishment, athletic strength, academic prowess, financial security—so many blessings come through learning to be patient. In the end, the man of medium skill and talent who perseveres is of much greater long term value than the talented, skillful person who quits and gives up.

So as we approach this important way, we must look for all sorts of ways to underline the importance of patience. As you instruct your children in this important virtue, you must be patient, too, as it takes them time to learn this character strength! :)

In what areas do you find it most difficult to be patient?

I am not naturally patient. I wasted many precious seasons of my life wishing them away, someone thinking the next season would be easier. God taught me slowly. Now, I seek more to pace myself and to see each miracle each day. It is still not easy as I am a "fast-paced" person, but I just wish I had not wasted so much time trying to hurry things that needed time to grow, and just enjoyed the process more.

God is with you, God is building you and your children and your vision, God will be faithful when you wait on Him.

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clay Clarkson

There's Always Someone Listening ...

Weariness did not even begin to describe the bone-deep exhaustion I was feeling. Lifting the weight of my body off of my bed in the mornings felt like an impossible task. Three hormonal teenagers,  a busy 8-year-old, Clay with a ruptured disc that caused him excruciating pain with each step; a book deadline; a daughter in and out of the hospital being tested for a brain tumor, and my mom falling and breaking her hip were just a few of the issues that occupied my thoughts each day.

Resentment was exploding inside my brain.

"No one appreciates all that I am doing to keep this family together. Cooking, washing, teaching, caring for everyone, running them to appointments, lessons, doctors and listening beyond midnight to teens pouring out their angst… " and I added to the lists of depleting responsibilities in my mind.

This fueled my frustration with Clay, lying next to me in bed, and having the audacity to not seem to be noticing my burdens.

The sun was just beginning to peek through the crack in the window curtain, reminding me that there was little time left to sleep. I was sending Clay "evil, selfish thoughts"  inside my heart, hoping somehow he could feel the grimace on my face, when the Holy Spirit gently nudged my conscience.

"He needs you to encourage him. He is so discouraged because of bills, pain, and the insecurities of life all around him."

"Seriously, Lord?! I am the one needing encouragement!"

I argued for a moment. But then, slowwwwwly, I forced my arm to reach over to him and gently scratch his back.

"I just want you to know that I really love you and respect how bravely you have born your ruptured disc.  I know you are in such pain every day, but I am praying for you," I softly whispered, in sheer obedience to God.

Quietly, almost imperceptibly, he responded,

"I am so relieved. You have every right to be mad at me.  I thought you were disappointed in me for not paying attention to you or taking care of you. But I have been so down about the overwhelming issues in our lives and constantly in pain, and I have not meant to neglect you--there is just so much going on. Thank you for being patient with me. I really appreciate you and love you."

And he reached over and gently embraced me before crawling out of bed, grimacing with the pain of moving.

I turned over and slowly slipped out of bed, donned my well-worn robe, and padded quietly toward the kitchen for my first cup of caffeine.

As I reached our bedroom door, I suddenly saw my little one laying quietly on our bedroom floor, cuddled in a comforter and staring up thoughtfully from a soft pillow.

"Mama, I was sleeping here because I had a real bad dream, but I knew you were so tired I didn't want to wake you up. But I heard you and Daddy talking just now. It made me feel happy to hear you all comforting each other and saying, 'I love you.' I want a marriage just like you rswhen I grow up---where my wife and I love each together and are partners in life. That would be so much fun to live with your best friend."

Reader … I didn't know anyone was there, listening. I am so glad I didn't lash out or give vent to my feelings of frustration that morning. I realized you just never know when your children are listening or watching, or in what moments they are shaping their view of marriage and life. I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit’s nudge to my heart that day, and pray you are able to feel it, too.

Blessing Feasts & Words That Give Life LGT 9 & Podcast

Table-Discipleship Principle:

Love and affirmation given generously provide the foundation for opening a heart to influence.

“Mama, will you squish into my bed with me so we can talk just for a little while tonight?” my young-adult child begged with wistful eyes. “How can I resist time with one of my best friends in all the world? What’s on your heart, Tookies?” I asked as I scooted her over to sit close to her on the small single bed. Tookies was a nickname that had somehow evolved during her early years and could certainly be used on her birthday after she had been duly celebrated.
“You know, I didn’t even know how emotionally empty I was. It seems there are battlegrounds everywhere in my life—at college, at work, with friends, every place. My values are questioned. My moral underpinnings are challenged. I feel alone and sometimes battle with doubt—you know me! And sometimes I don’t feel like I belong to my world.

“But today, when everyone told me what they appreciated about my life, how glad they were that I was their sister, and when you and Daddy invested your words of faith in who I am, the woman I have become, my heart just soaked it in. It was like water to thirsty ground. All day I’ve been reviewing in my mind all the things that were said. And I’ve thought about the round-table prayers for my life, and it all seems sweeter to me than ever before. It’s as though the love poured into me on my birthday is an anchor that keeps pulling me back to what we all believe together, our unity of commitment to stay faithful to God’s call on our lives as a family.”

This eloquent bedtime speech had been twenty years in the making. And it was sweet to my mama heart.

Sometimes when my children were growing up, I didn’t know if they were listening or paying attention. Yet today I’m beginning to see the fruits of our years deliberately speaking forward into their lives. Reminding them that they are uniquely special to God, that His fingerprints are on their lives and on the story they will tell through their own days, has shaped the persons they’re becoming.

Cultivating a lifegiving table is all about helping those who gather around it to know the love of God and to understand His truths, laying foundations of faith that will serve them years after they go out into the world. Intentionally crafting words and messages to share along with the food we serve and the conversations we enjoy is a part of my role as hostess and as mama. Table talks are where lightbulbs come on, where ideas are fully embraced as they are discussed, where love is received as it is generously poured out.

And birthdays are the place where our feasting table becomes a blessing table. They are the times when we intentionally speak words of encouragement and affirmation we hope will sink deep into their minds and hearts. They are also times when we remember that God has specifically created each one with a history, a unique personality, and a story only he or she can fulfill in His own story in our world.

Early in my marriage, I learned that this process was deeply biblical. It goes all the way back to the very first chapter of Genesis, when God finished creating Adam and Eve in His image, then immediately “blessed them” (verse 28). A traditional Jewish blessing, sometimes called the Aaronic blessing (because it was first given to Moses’ brother, Aaron), became a mainstay of Hebrew culture. It was spoken over and over and written in many places, personal and public, as a proclamation that God desired to be with His people and surround them with favor and protection. And the Bible contains many other examples of verbal blessings that speak affirmation, encouragement, reassurance, and promise to those being blessed.

Don’t miss today’s podcast on Blessing Feasts for your home, from The Lifegiving Table.

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time

By Sally Clarkson

Peacemaking is a Learned Skill! (Our Family Way #18 and Podcast)

Way # 18 We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing!

MEMORY VERSE:

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” ~James 3:17

As a young missionary in Communist countries many years ago, I cut my teeth on discipleship, "making disciples of all nations", learning to live by faith in a very foreign place, and holding fast to my Bible. One of my surprises, however, was the prevalence of conflict and issues, at times amongst the missionaries themselves.

Young and unseasoned, I believed that if someone was brave and courageous enough to go into the mission field, they would probably be "superhuman" and surely super-spiritual! And yet, living overseas can be so very stressful that it magnifies difficulties. This was the place I began to learn the importance of peacemaking, when disharmony and discord entered into the relationships on my staff team. Most were maturing believers, but all were in need of the mercy and grace of God. Discord of large proportions could disrupt the unity of our staff teams.

Fighting, warring, and arguing is one of the foundational evidences that this world is separated from God. We war against each other as countries, but also as individuals because we are self-centered, ocused on our own agenda, our own well-being as opposed to focusing on serving and bringing harmony to others. Do not be surprised by relational conflict; it is a mark of the fallen world. As believers, we are called to redeem broken places.

You will notice in this particular set of four rules that each begins with "We choose."

It is a choice of our will, an obedience of conscience where we serve God by doing what is right. Maturity in Christ is learning to do what is right because righteousness is so instilled in the pathways of our minds and hearts. When we memorize God's word and wisdom principles, then when we encounter animosity (and we surely will, daily) our minds will already have a truth to go to so that we can behave as Christ would have us. Truth, understanding,  and obedience are partners in peacemaking.

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." Matthew 5:19

What a defining verse! By becoming peacemakers, we will be observed to be God's sons (and daughters). But the verse also implies that peace is not easy--it is a "work" of life--something that must be made.

Every relationship, by definition, is between two selfish people! The question in relationship struggles is not who is right, but who will make peace, give grace, and forgive. Making peace starts inside, with a decision that says, "I can become a vehicle to bring peace and to restore this relationship if I am willing to humble myself and reach out."

Whether marriage, friendship, family, colleagues, or as parents, peacemaking, the act of choosing to reach out in the work of restoration, comes from a heart that worships God.

I love this verse: "For He Himself is our peace." Ephesians 2:14

God made Jesus, who knew no sin, to become peace on our behalf. If this is the greatest work of Jesus’ life, to give all that we might have peace with the Father, then helping our children to learn to make peace with one another is one of the most profound ways they can show others what God is like and then come to deeply appreciate what God has done for them, because they will see how much it cost Him the older they become.

 We gently, consistently, peacefully, instruct our children in becoming peacemakers. We teach them that there is a cost to making peace with others--the cost of bowing our own hearts to our pride and becoming willing to serve the one with whom we have conflict.

Humbling ourselves brings the possibility of unity and restoration as we admit our ability to fail and disappoint. We must show our children, by our own kindness, that humility is the bridge to making peace.

Blessed are the peacemakers, Jesus said, something we all need to ponder anew--today, with our children, our spouses, our friends, even our enemies. We cannot force others to make peace with us any more than Jesus could force the Pharisees to leave Him alone. Yet, each of us must make attempts to have peace with others, as far as is possible. One last admonishment comes from Paul:

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18

So, we teach these peace principles to our children when they are fussing, when friends or a family member has hurt our feelings, when they have been unjustly criticized.

The memory verse this week is profound. God's wisdom--insight and understandable truth--is pure, peaceable and gentle. May the Holy Spirit quicken our hearts to obey and practice this truth, that we might bridge the gaps in our relationships with the love of God.

Are there any relationships God is pressing on your heart that you need to restore?

Is there anything keeping you from making peace with those who are in conflict with you? Do you need to humble yourself or forgive the other person? If I have learned anything from the heart of Jesus, it is that when I choose to obey what He shows me in His word, ultimately it brings me peace and deep joy. I do not have to carry hate or bitterness--He will relieve me from them when I accept His will for me to make peace.

Teach words of peacemaking:

I'm sorry. 

I was wrong.

I forgive you. 

I love you. 

How can I help you feel that I am really sorry?

I understand.

And remember today, that God offers peace to you.

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clay Clarkson

Our 24 Family Ways Children's Color-In Book

By Clay Clarkson

Offering Christ's Grace to Our Children and Others--and a blessed Easter Weekend to you!

“For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” 

Psalm 103:14

April was abloom with tiny buds beginning to burst, daffodils pushing through the cold ground and all the promise of spring was pulsing through our home. Many years ago, the Saturday before Easter found my girls and me working together, preparing our traditional Easter feast. A dozen people would join us, so we were busy little bees, bumping into each other, scurrying around the kitchen island, preparing sumptuous recipes that would feed a crowd. My own sweet girl, grasping for her own place in our kitchen as the youngest, had decided to make the special deviled eggs we had enjoyed as a family for many years. She had peeled 24 hard boiled eggs (quite a feat in itself!) and then got a bright idea of how to make it easier, even though I had already explained to her the best way to fill the eggs.

She had good inclinations, but her effort to stuff a flimsy, plastic sandwich bag with egg filling resulted in a mess everywhere–I have never seen so much egg yellow on the hands of any one individual! “How in the world had she managed to fumble such an easy task?” I thought, in bad-attitude irritation, neglecting how hard she had been trying. Of course, this situation occured at the end of an already-long afternoon of cooking and preparation, so my adrenalin was at an all-time low. She could surely sense how irritated I was.

This is Easter. Today, I celebrate the truth that though I am not perfect and never will be, Jesus saved me out of my dilemma and chose me and sacrificed for me that I could know His love and grace every single day. Even Easter dinners needed to be the place to celebrate this wonderful truth.

And so the Lord poked my heart, and I felt ashamed that I had just prayed a prayer of thanks this very morning of worship of Him, my humble, sympathetic savior, and now was experiencing my own selfish thoughts and impatience. Suddenly gave me eyes to see this precious young woman--my sweet little girl--in the throes of growing up. Insecurity and frustration flashed from her dark eyes as she watched me clean up her mess. I thought about what I wanted to leave in her heart’s memory. After taking a couple of minutes to ponder what I was going to say, I led her to the couch, and gave her a cup of tea.

“Most precious,” (one of my nicknames for her) “you have been so exceedingly helpful and thoughtful today. The table you set looks lovely; the groceries are all put away, and you have labored by my side for hours. I don’t know what I would do without your help. Many times I have baked bread and then burned it or grilled something outside that ends up tough as nails. Frustration tempts me to rage inside sometimes, because I hate to waste time and ruin the food I have cooked. So, I know how you must have felt when the bag kept breaking and the mess just poured out. I am so sorry if I offended you in any way. You are such a treasure to me and I know you were trying to do a good job. Thanks so much for all the ways you have helped me this week!”

A sheepish grin crossed her face. She climbed into my lap; long, gangly, teenage legs and all, and said, “I am so thankful that you always love me, mommy.” A kiss on the cheek … and she was gone.

Time and age has convinced me of my propensity to be selfish and immature. Even now, at 65, I think, “Next year I will be more mature.” Consequently, my gratitude has grown immensely, knowing that I don’t have to perform for the Lord, I will never be as good as I wish I could be, but He knows that. . He is mindful that I am but dust, and yet He still calls me His own special child. The amount of times He has had to bear with me, love me and give me grace has made me so much more apt to love and forgive and bear with my sweet yet still immature children and husband and friends.

I know they will make mistakes and be selfish and sinful-- just like me!-- but I know that I can only please God and have peace in my own heart when I choose to love them. And in practicing loving them, my own heart swells with more love, good thoughts, and generosity.

Sometimes, I will have a critical thought toward Clay or the kids or a friend. (Can you imagine?! -ha!) If I foster the thought, it nurtures self-righteousness and resentment and anger. When I choose to look at the relationship with eyes of love, to take the thought or attitude captive, I can get perspective. This is a person dear to me, and we have history together. They have a personality that comes with as many flaws as mine does. I am not primarily the focus of their lives, and they do not live to hurt my feelings!

I need to remember that love covers a multitude of sin.

I remember that this person is an immature toddler or exhausted baby or hormonal young woman or middle-aged hormonal woman or a somewhat immature, irrational, waiting-for-his-frontal-cortex-to-connect "teen" young man or a tired, worn-out husband who’s had too many days of work. Then I remember how much I need grace in all of my own fragile times. I also remind myself that I will please my precious, patient Lord Jesus if I obediently act in love.

Then I cover the person with grace, say words of patience and kindness, and am amazed that feelings of love usually follow and the relationship improves rather than being broken. Good feelings often accompany obedience.

This is not a formula that always works--I am not looking for always having the right results--but it is a way of life that, practiced over many years, has turned my heart more towards loving, resting, and accepting those valued relationships. In return, I find I am blessed in ample love that the Lord pours out into my heart. If I sow love, I will reap love. My love becomes a blessing to me in return.

We are all constantly confronted with a multitude of opportunities to choose to love or to choose to stir up strife. Loving on a consistent basis is a choice that becomes a habit and eventually changes our heart’s response. We all get frustrated sometimes with our children’s mistakes. The important thing is to correct our own bad reactions before we hurt their precious hearts!

Indeed, in the end, how we loved will be a measure of how we lived. May His truly amazing grace cover you all over this weekend as we remember that we are the blessed ones because we have known His grace and love.

I pray you have a wonderful Easter weekend!