Real Marriage 1: The Ease of Making Vows Vs. The Difficulty of Keeping Them

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

In a fallen world, many precious ones find themselves in heart-breaking circumstances in broken marriages, and find themselves alone. We are all broken and in need of the sweet mercy of Jesus. I understand that everyone's story is different and I have deep love and sympathy for anyone whose journey has brought such pain. Many sweet friends have lived through these very difficult times and I pray God's gracious love brings healing and comfort.

Yet, when, if we are able to follow God's ideals and stay the course of our marriages, we are building foundations where loyal love, and virtuous commitment can be a story lived out in real life to show the reality of God's unconditional, forever love for us.

The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones,

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man."

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. ~ Genesis 2:23-24

These are serious words. They are words of covenant, of God’s design for marriage. Yet those of us who have entered into such a covenant have also learned a difficult truth: it’s easier said than done!

While today’s culture looks upon marriage as something to provide self-fulfillment, easily entered into and simply though regretfully ended when one or both partners decide they’ve “fallen out of love” or “just aren’t compatible” anymore, we can see in the damage done to our society that marriage is much more than our current view might suggest.

Marriage is meant to be a picture of the love Christ has for the church; His commitment and persevering faithfulness to us. He said He would never leave us or forsake us. He laid down his life for us.  Jesus treasures marriage because it is the holy place where His love for the world is modeled by how we practice giving to one another and staying the course of our commitment. What might you do to strengthen your own marriage, today?

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Joy Grows When Burdens Are Shared: DWMHF 7 & I Podcast

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made frill. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

I have had several podcasts lately about friendship. I almost didn’t play this one today because I wanted to be sure you had not heard too much about friendship from me lately. Yet, in this podcast, I realized that there have been crucial dark moments in my life when I would have floundered or fallen apart if I had not had friends to carry me, to comfort me, to guide me when I couldn’t see where I was going. So I hope that you will listen to this podcast today and be encouraged once again about how vitally it is to understand that much of our joy is sustained through relationships with people who have chosen to love us, to help us, to be committed.

I find it curious that Jesus said, "These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full." He wanted his disciples to be joyful—full of joy! And he was telling them how. He gave them a whole list of connections, and it is all about relationship! He said that we are to obey him and that if we do, we will abide in his love, live there, dwell there, flourish there in his love. And then he went on to define the commandment that will help us to abide in his love and experience full joy: "This is My commandment, that you love one another." That's it? Not that we have to be perfect or holy or righteous or without sin, but that we love one another? That is where our joy is made full?

Absolutely. This is why Jesus commanded us to cultivate and be committed to "life-laying-down," serving, loyal love.

As I consider this passage in light of my most committed "love" relationships—marriage to Clay, who has stuck with me through thick and thin for nearly forty years; Gwen (and a few other close friends), who have loved and accepted me unconditionally for more than four decades; my children, who are the closest of friends and beloved of my heart—I realize that it has been in my relationships with them that I have had the most joyful memories, the deepest intimate encounters, the greatest celebrations of life. I have felt deeply loved and accepted in the common life experiences that have knit our souls together. And it all came through committed, "I will be loyal to you and love you no matter what" love.

I also see that severed relationships have kept so many of the people I know from having joy. Any broken relationship is like a divorce: it tears a portion of our heart apart when something that was made to be whole is broken. I wonder if a statement opposite of Jesus' could also be true, "You will not experience fully my Father's love, nor have your joy be full, if you refuse to love one another. That is what will keep you from experiencing the intimate love of God and the fullness of joy in life—because you were created for love!" And I also wonder if a statement such as "Greater love will a person lose if he is not willing to lay down his life for his friend" is true as well.

This laying down of our lives—serving, giving, helping—is the key to real friendship and love, and ultimately, the fullness of joy. What does that look like? Looking back at the passage, Jesus said, "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you." How has he loved us? He gave up his throne in heaven and came to the earth as a simple, humble man. He lived and loved and served and healed and poured out his life and died on the cross to pay for our sins. So that becomes the standard for what he means when he says, "Love one another."

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Child Training In the Family: What Does "Training" Mean, Anyway? (part two!)

Because we focused on relationships as our children were growing up (and encouraged other parents to do the same) many people assumed that meant we allowed our children to do whatever they wanted. Someone once even called one of our neighbors and asked, “So, just how out of control are their children, anyway?!” It is difficult for some people to wrap their minds around the idea of training as a main discipline method.

Child Training Is Instruction, Interference, Consequences, and Modeling/Correcting

Training is constant instruction, interference with immature and inappropriate behavior, consequences of some sort, and modeling or requiring a correction of that behavior, with constant attention to the relationship all the while.

Babies need to be held, guided, and distracted. When my little ones would put their fingers in the wall sockets, I would pick them up and say, “No, no! Danger! This will hurt you!!” And take them away and be strong with the Danger word so that they understood it was not something to be played with. I read an article recently that said if you respond to babies under 2 within 10-15 seconds, they learn what you are telling them and are much more likely to obey. If you just yell or say something across the room, they do not get the message. In other words, babies respond to immediacy and personal training, interaction.

Often, just distraction—taking them away from what they thought they wanted and showing them something else. “No more cookies! Now let’s walk to the window and see if there are any dogs outside.”

Now to older children as they grow. An extrovert needs time to talk and talk and to be active; and they should not be punished for being loud or active or talkative. It is a part of their glory. We as parents need to learn how to channel and train that exuberance down a path of fruitfulness.

An introvert needs time alone or time alone with you, and they should not feel shame for feeling shy or fearful but should know they are precious as they are, with you leading them to grow in relationship to other people.

A little wiggly boy needs to be understood as one who God gave testosterone so that he could protect his family some day. A young teen girl needs grace with her hormones and patience when she emotionally spills her feelings or anger and frustration all over people— (so do boys, by the way) and so on.

Loving, serving, encouraging, and requiring honor in relationships was always the foundation for all child training in our lives, seeing that, like the Holy Spirit in my own life, I was coming alongside my children, helping them, encouraging them in the path of righteousness in their own lives as one of my primary roles as a mom.

"No, not that way, but this way,” we said over and over and over again; gently, lovingly, firmly, consistently. Always be ready to praise for good choices and say, "You are growing so strong inside, and I see you making such wise choices."

Remember you are will training, Will training is what we see in Deuteronomy 30:15-20--"See that I have set before you: life and prosperity or death and adversity, so choose yourselves today, what you will do."

“I hope you will obey mama. It is your choice, if you choose to obey ______, then you will find blessing for your good choice. But if you choose to disobey, you are choosing these consequences, (sitting with mama while the others play, or having to clean up all the toys in the play room as a practice for being responsible, etc. (whatever the parent decides is equal to the issue.

Child Training is Not Controlling

We do not want to control our children because we are bigger and louder and can create havoc in their souls with our anger. Instead, we want to train them and motivate them, to help them understand early on that they have the capacity to decide how to behave. If they respond to our wills and desires, with our encouragement, then they will be blessed. If they do not respond, then they are choosing to be disciplined in some way--they have a choice to make. This way, we honor their own ability to choose to be wise, and we train them that choices have consequences.

I cannot make you strong--only you can decide how strong and how excellent you want to become. But I believe God has created you to be a wise or strong or valiant (fill in the blank) person, and I can't wait to see His plan for you. So, I am hoping that you will choose to obey mommy, so that you can be blessed and happy."

Children who are controlled by anger or spanking may learn to obey when their parents are present, but they will rebel when their parents are not.

Children who learn to use self-discipline and develop a sense of their own worth and strength and understand how to take ownership for their lives, will obey and be strong because they desire to build their own character.

There is always more to be said on this topic, but these are some starters for building a plan and following it. I spoke these things even to my toddlers and babies when I was carrying them around my home, and talked and talked to all of my children about truth, God, love, and our ways, all day long. Now they all joke about the mantras they remember me saying over and over again.

Here are the books we’ve created which we hope will be helpful in your own child training efforts!

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clay Clarkson

Our 24 Family Ways: Kids Color-In Book

By Clay Clarkson

When Life Gets Tough, Put on Lipstick & Podcast

Sometimes, we need to just stop life from invading every moment of our day and sapping all our energy, and take the time to make a new plan. Rest, rest, rest. We all need to regularly rest to keep ourselves alive. But we need more than rest: sometimes: we need something fun.

When the girls came to Colorado for our yearly national team meeting this year, we took some time to sit down and record a chat about some of our favorite things to do when we just needed to restore our souls in an enjoyable way. We did a lot of giggling, and hope you feel like you’re sitting with us today as you listen in.

Oh—and lets not forget the most important thing: what lipsticks do we all prefer???

Sally uses Burt’s Bees Lip Crayons in Niagra Overlook and Hawaiian Smolder (she may not live that color name down, ha!) Jacqui likes Clarins Instant Light Natural Lip Perfector; Zoe’s favorite is Maybelline Colour Sensational Loaded-Orange Danger (Jacqui also loves the same line in Bossy Berry and Fiery Fuschia), Kristen wears Turkish Delight by Nars everyday and a gorgeous red called Jackpot from Sephora for special occasions, and Misty has been wearing L’Oreal Paris Colour Riche in Mica (which looks nothing like what’s in the tube when you put it on!) for longer than … well, let’s just say it’s been a long time, and has a special place in her heart for the roll-on gloss called Lip Potion which she fondly remembers even though the last bottle she’d seen of it (glass) actually broke in the back pocket of her jeans wayyyyy back in 4th grade!

Of course, we talked about lots of weightier matters, too. Sally shared this story …

Years ago while we were on a long walk, I asked my adult kids what they really thought mattered—what were the important things in life. Maybe you should ask yours, too!

Here’s what they said …

People, not things

Kindness, not being right

True life virtue, not opinion or debate

Loving, redeeming, forgiving, extending grace; not judgment, criticism, self-righteousness, or cynicism 

Living into His grace as a habit of living well with others; not striving to impress or earn love through works, accomplishment, status, fulfilling expectations, or influence,

Being intentional, not just frantically busy

Seeking Him, pondering Him, listening to Him; not the approval of man or living by the rules of others or seeking to be popular but living happily within the limitations of life

Seeking the Kingdom and eternity, not the kingdom or voices of the world

Honestly admitting a need, confessing a weakness or sin, not stuffing our insecurities and pretending to be perfect

Being humble and meek, not powerful and influential

Waiting for Him, not living in the flesh and striving

Living a life of worship, focused on meeting the needs of others; not making self-fulfillment our life goal

Being still and knowing He is God, not living a noisy, empty life

Loving well with words, actions, and setting an atmosphere of love and acceptance, not competition

We pray you’ll enjoy listening in, and also think about what small actions can restore your own soul this summer!

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Blessed, Broken & Given: Glenn Packiam & podcast

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.”

Jesus, (John 6:35)

Throughout all cultures, bread has been the basic, sustaining food that represents the satisfaction of hunger. Whether tortillas, a loaf of sandwich bread, pita, nun or others, bread is a basic of life.

Jesus called himself the bread of life—and he said He would satisfy our hunger.

Do you hunger for love? For finding purpose in the midst of your every day circumstances of life? For forgiveness? For belonging? For healing?

Jesus is our bread of life. But what is also mind blowing, is that when our own hearts have been filled by His love, power, personal presence, He fills us with Himself and we become and offering of His attributes of filling hunger for others. We are blessed by His adoption, redemption, coming into our lives.

We then see that our brokenness is satisfied by His presence in our lives.

Then, our lives become a sacrifice, breaking open for the sake of others who are hungry for Him. We are given to the world, as He was, to bring His satisfaction to those who also hunger and thirst.

My friend, Glenn Packiam, has written a book that will refresh your understanding about how Christ comes to you to satisfy your life, to validate your story and to show you how to become His life and light to those He brings your way.

I so enjoyed talking with Glenn Packiam on my podcast today about the beautiful, life-giving concepts he shares in his new book. I pray the podcast will be of great encouragement to you as you continue to know God’s blessing and then become bread of life, because of His presence through You, to those who long for His love, light, satisfying love.

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Child Training in the Family: What Do You Want to Build? (part one)

"A wise woman builds her house, and a foolish woman with her own hands tears it down." Proverbs 14: 1

Often, in my conferences, I have said, "In order to build a house, you must have an architectural plan or the house will not stand. There are many ways to build a home and many kinds of homes. One can build a small shack or a grand estate, but all begins with a plan. It all depends on how big your vision for your plan is--you can build generations of legacy or only have a small sphere of influence because of having no imagination or Biblical plan in place. "

None of us is perfect and so we will never have a perfect plan, but we must have something in place and expand and build on it! Here are several foundational principles that Clay and I followed.

1. God designed the family and children and He called them a blessing--so He must have something in mind.

Starting out with scripture, reading Genesis 1, pondering how God fathers us, observing how Jesus influenced His disciples, --these principles give us a starting place. God is relational and loving and provides and pursues and protects and wants to communicate.  And so I pattern my life after His.

2. We are building generations--a legacy of messages, values, traditions, and convictions.

Parenting is not primarily focused on behavioral goals, but on heart values and messages--those purposes that inspire, capture a child's imagination, and give those in the family a sense of belonging and hope. Purpose and focus on heart messages is a part of the grid that I work from every day.

3. We must have in mind what it is we are building.

Clay and I partnered together to come up with values, truths, and habits that we wanted to become the very core of our children's impulses on how to live life well. The picture of the Holy Spirit comes to mind. Jesus said, "I will send you a Helper, and He will guide you into all truth." We are like that with our children and as Christ was with His disciples: helpers who will guide them into truth.

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

All day long, the grid I worked from was through the lens of our “family ways”. For instance,  when a toddler was about to hit another, I would pick them up, hold the hand and say very seriously, "We never, never use our hands to express hate or anger. Remember our way: ‘We treat others with kindness, gentleness and respect.’"

If a child was older and mouthed off, I would remind them of that same "way", and require them to apologize or write a note to the offended person, or write out the memory verse however many times I thought would be appropriate. Our ways became an objective grid for training and building expectations in our children's soul for Biblical ideals.

Our 24 Family Ways is a devotional that Clay wrote for our family, to be the discipleship tool for building a plan of how we wanted our children to live life--to train them in what was true, what was expected, and how to practice living within the guidelines of the Clarksons. We wanted our children to know how to honor us and God; to know how to practice loving others in word and deed; to know how to cultivate strong work habits and attitudes about all of these and many other things. We attached each "way" to scripture, gave our children memory verses, and went over our ways again and again over the years so that these truths would be deep in their hearts. We pray this book will be a blessing and guide for your family, too!

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide

By Clay Clarkson

More next week on this same topic!

Deep Heart Satisfaction of Friendship With Women & Podcast

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

A man of too many friends comes to ruin,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.~ Prov. 18:24

One of the most common letters or notes I receive is, “I am so lonely and have difficulty finding like minded women.”

Cultivating deep, soul filling, heart strong friendships with women who call you to your best self is becoming more and more rare. Yet, love, companionship, comfort, understanding, sympathy, “being known and loved” is one of the ways we were created to experience the Love of God in our lives. Love gives us the oxygen we need to breathe in grace through the taxing days of our lives.

Friendship is an imperative part of a healthy life! We hope you’ll enjoy our podcast today as we discuss women’s friendships.

It is the reason my girls and I wrote “Girls’ Club”. We wanted to help women remember the gift of developing close, intimate friendships with other women and we wanted to encourage women to reach out to others.

Today, ponder the podcast and pray about the truths we address for your own life. Reach out to at least one woman this week. And we do pray that each of you will find a sweet friend with whom to walk through the pathways of life.

Remember, Proverbs tells us, “A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ~C.S. Lewis

Printables:

Download and print the postcards below and send to a friend!

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Learning to Expect Miracles (DWMHF #6) & Podcast

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

Often in the past, Lord, I have come to thee with a heavy heart and burdened life. And thou hast answered my prayers and graciously lifted the burden from me. Yet with strange perversion, I still refuse to leave my burdens with thee. Always I gather them up—those heavy bundles of fears and anxieties—and shoulder them again.

PETER MARSHALL

Today on my podcast, I tell one of the most amazing, miraculous stories about when Nathan moved to New York City when he was 19. The ways that God worked helped me to remember his faithfulness at other times when we needed to see Him work. Dancing is learned through practice—and so letting God lead gets easier the more we allow Him to lead. I hope you enjoy it.

I was on a mission to get my work finished. I drove downtown toward a quiet hotel where I would be free to write without any interruptions. I had to stop on the way because my gas tank was on empty. (Someone had borrowed my car and leftit without gas!) Next, I stopped at a coffee shop. Before I ordered, I saw a mug on sale and thought, I would much rather drink out of a real mug so I bought it. I turned to walk away from the counter—and promptly dropped my new purchase. It shattered into hundreds of pieces. I bent down to clean it up and saw that the coffee had spilled on my new shirt. Finally after I cleaned up the mess and fixed my shirt as best as I could, I got on the road again—and was promptly halted by a long, unexpected construction detour.

Tempted to become irritated at how my day was going, I decided to give this book and its deadline over to the Lord. I would choose not to pay attention to the broken mug and my dirty shirt; it's just part of normal life. So I put on some quiet instrumental music, sat back in my seat, and enjoyed the peace as I waited to move through the congested traffic.

A commitment to living a life of joy involves a one-time decision in our heart: "Lord, I want to know your joy every day of my life, and I will seek to find out what it means to dwell in your presence in joy."

Experiencing joy, though, is a long-term process—a journey toward maturity as we begin to be aware of those thoughts and worries that would steal our joy. The more we practice taking all of our troubled thoughts captive, the more easily we will recognize them before they take hold in our heart. Practice and discipline provide strength training for our mental muscles and heart responses. So walking in the reality of joy is a road we truly find only as we mature and become stronger. The more consistently we follow that path—believing in God's goodness and turning away from Satan's taunts—the more the habit to submit to the Lord and trust him becomes second nature.

We can make a commitment to take every situation, every feeling, every fear to God as it happens. We don't have to remain in a state of emotional separation from the Lord every time we get out of step. We simply have to practice walking each step with him and allow his presence to bring us the joy that comes from resting in the arms of our capable dance partner through each measure of life's song.

Thoughts for today …

Paul wrote, "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). What does it mean to take every thought in your head "captive" to the obedience of Christ?

Are there any specific patterns of thought (fear, jealousy, irritation, impatience) that you struggle with? How does this rob your joy?

What do you need to do to change that pattern?

Find your copy of Dancing with My Father, here!

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Sneaking Away in the Morning is a Habit (With a Reward!) for this Mama

This morning, when it was still dark, I crept out of bed so as not to awaken anyone in the house. I have always had a child's delight in being alone in the early morning, like I was playing hide and seek with the bodies asleep in my home. I made a big mug of coffee (with a dash of vanilla!) and drove away from my home at 5:45 as the sun was peeking out behind the clouds.

I was in need of time with Him, my true Friend, my Counselor, my Comforter, my Father. Sometimes with all the bodies and voices swirling about in my home, I lose Him. And so, I have learned to leave and invest in the morning hours with Him always, always waiting to talk to me. The Sunday morning breakfast feast will be ready at 9:30 as usual, but I will be different by the time I get back home.

Birds seemed to chirp more loudly than usual, the sun sparkled as the gentle waves of the lake danced slowly, and I was awash in peace and quiet, alone with Him.

I read Psalm 25 many times this morning--Lead me, teach me your paths, Instruct me in your way---the words became my prayers. Always big issues of life weigh too heavy on my shoulders. But very quickly in His bigness, my needs become small.

I will wait on you, oh Lord.

And then He reminded me--David waited and waited and waited for God and sang and danced while he waited. He did not take the throne from Saul. He did not murder Saul when God delivered Saul into David's hands, he just humbly waited on God to make His move--for years and years He waited, in peace, and writing and praising all  along. Is this what it means for David to be a man after God's heart---looking to Him, waiting on Him, rejoicing in Him, in the midst of battles going on all around in his life?

Saul, however, though big, handsome and strong, was not considered worthy to remain as king. He took matters into his own hands. He exerted his will, his way, his wisdom in being king. He did not wait on God, as he thought he knew better--and so God rejected him from being king.

Oh, please, Lord, do not reject me from being usable to you and your kingdom purposes. Help me to wait on you as David did.

God wants those who wait on Him, follow His lead, hear His voice. I have noticed in my own life that God is not in a hurry and rarely does things quickly, but in the process of His leading, He cares more about forming character, building holiness, stretching our trust, strengthening our muscles of faith--and through this process He builds in us a legacy of integrity.

And so, this morning, my soul is once again filled with joy, peace, worship and rest--I do not know the future, but I rest in the one who does. It all comes from a habit, a rhythm of making time to be with Him, to hear His voice, to follow His ways. Years and years and years of getting away--to Him.

May He guide you to His presence today.

And now the favorite of the verses I pondered today:

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, For you are the God of my salvation.

For you I wait all the day. Good and upright is the Lord; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in justice and He teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth.

Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way He should go. Indeed, none of those who wait for you will be ashamed.

I pray you will find some peaceful morning time of your own, this weekend.

I hope you will be encouraged by my new devotional book coming soon.

Mom Heart Moments: Daily Devotions for Lifegiving Motherhood

By Sally Clarkson

Buy on Amazon

Cultivating Friendship with Children & Podcast (Misty, Kristen and Sally)

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:13-15

Unwinding in my cozy little library, I was so engrossed in my book that I didn’t even realize the sun was setting. But then I was jolted out of my reverie by the familiar sound of my cell ringtone.

“Hi, Mama!” chimed the familiar voice of one of my adult children. “I’ve been really busy, but I just needed to hear your voice, to know that you love me and are thinking about me. You know, there’s no substitute for your words of love. Helps me feel closer to God somehow.”

I get a call like that nearly every day—and I make a few calls of my own. My children and I are a tight-knit group, joined at the hip, fast and dedicated friends. They all live and work in very secular arenas and are taxed to their souls on a regular basis. All four travel all over the world for their jobs and schools, have their own groups of friends, and function as reasonably mature adults.

And yet, wherever they go, it is very difficult to meet adults who hold their values, beliefs, morals. Intentionality in our friendship costs time, thoughtfulness, heart investment. Yet, our friendship grows deeper and deeper through the years because they feel a need for a touchpoint with someone who "gets" them and loves them as they are. Next to Clay, my children are my best friends, and we remain their dearest companions. But we are also the tangible fingers and arms of God to keep them in the circle of his love.

Because of back surgery, Clay cannot travel much. But he regularly sends me to places my children live as a "live" picture of our love, cheerleading and devotion to helping them stay fast in their faith. A part of our calling of "home" is to give our children a stable sense of the good foundations of what we believe and then to help them have reason to keep faithful to those foundations after they leave the physical structure of our home. Home is the place we build vibrant, life-giving relationships that last a lifetime.

So it was with Jesus and His disciples. Sharing meals, walking together on dusty roads, having exuberant discussions about theology, sleeping under the stars, sharing hopes and fears, and enjoying some good laughs in between it all—this was the nature of Jesus’ friendships. He wove His love and grace into the lives of all who were close to Him. And as a result they were energized, driven, and excited to spend the rest of their lives telling the world about their closest and most trusted Friend.

When the relational aspect is removed from faith, Christianity becomes a list of rules to keep, a dry obedience to abstract facts. The heart is left feeling perpetually unsatisfied. Over time, doubts and insecurities creep into our faith, and we may begin to develop guilt for not being spiritual enough. We start to hope that no one notices our failure, and—the worst consequence—we may even try to hide our dissatisfaction from God.

This is not even remotely God’s will for our lives. It is a lie of the evil one whispering to us in our inadequacy. Satan wants us to live in condemnation for all the ways we are imperfect in loving. The insidious thing is that the deceptive narrative is self- perpetuating.

It not only makes us believe that God just wants our obedience and good works but also makes us feel like failures when we inevitably don’t live up to those standards, and this causes us to draw even further away from God.

When we observe the lives of those closest to Jesus in His earthly life—the disciples—it becomes immediately apparent that they were alive with faith and hope. Even as flawed human beings, they were filled with a power that can come only from being loved and accepted by their Savior.

This liberating love is still offered to us. God wants to be as close to us as Jesus was to His disciples and to inspire the same kindness and goodness in our hearts. If we as parents can learn to embrace our relationship with God, we will be empowered to create for our children and anyone else who crosses our doorsteps a true culture of love—a home environment where the life of God is breathed through all moments and love becomes the fuel for living with hope, purpose, and expectation.

Ultimately, God desires that we instill in the hearts of those around us the same love that has been made real in our lives. That is the crux of discipleship. Our disciples—whether they be our children, our friends, or anyone else in our care—must eventually be sent out into the world as Jesus sent out His disciples.

When they have grasped the vision of the Kingdom and the King who rules it, they, too, can be world redeemers. But they need to be prepared. Jesus knew He was sending out His disciples into a world where they would often be rejected and abused. He taught them how to handle painful encounters and asked the Father to keep them from the evil one while they were about His business. And over and over, He infused them with His love and taught them to love one another.

Our children, too, will go out into an antagonistic, difficult society. But the power that will hold them fast to the ideals they learned at home will be the bonds of love and the deep companionship we shared with them, the compassion and kindness and grace we gave to them during hard times, and the constant reassurance that they are precious to us and to God. Whatever we have spoken into the daily lives of our children is what they will hear when they are far away.

“How many parents there are … who are readier to provide playthings for their children than to share the delights of their children with those playthings; readier to set their children to knowledge-seeking, than to have a part in their children’s surprises and enjoyments of knowledge-attaining; readier to make good, as far as they can, all losses to their children, than to grieve with their children over those losses.  And what a loss of power to those parents as parents, is this lack of sympathy with their children as children."

Henry Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training (1890)

We hope you’ll enjoy the podcast today. Kristen Kill, Misty Krasawski, and I are discussing the ways we’ve built friendships with our children and why we believe it’s so important! Be sure to click to download these lovely printables for your fridge or wall.

Printables:

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!