Love for a Lifetime!

Each of us has a deep longing to be loved, to have our lives validated, to know that we matter and have a purpose--a place to belong. It is a longing in our hearts because God put it there. Family is supposed to give roots, strength, security, stability, and direction.

God also gave mothers the ability to build a strong home culture,, so that these deep needs would be met.

Building an environment of love, grace, belonging, so that each child who is welcomed into her home, will provide a wellspring in their hearts that says, "I have a history. I am a Clarkson (or Smith, or Martinez, or Krasawski), and we love each other, we belong to each other, we will always have stability because we are a part of this family and circle of love, spiritual strength, and grace."

Shaping a Family culture like this takes time and intention and does not just happen by chance.

A child who is given a place to build roots, foundations of moral strength, affection, and unconditional love and forgiveness, a safe haven in which to grow, can carry stability in their souls their whole lives, and will find the strength to face the trials of life and the challenges.

However, a child can be given all the experiences or material things the world has to offer, but if his soul is starving or empty or filled with the anger of rejection or even simple passivity, which communicates worthlessness to him, he will have difficulty filling this cavernous hole the rest of his life and will look for love and validation in all the wrong places. 

A mother's love and legacy is one of the most powerful influences in the world and will indeed determine the strength and history of a culture. But to provide such a legacy in the lives of our children requires a choice. The choice is to serve, give, train, instruct, provide, and encourage. This choice will have eternal consequences, because the souls of the children raised in such a home will be strong, beautiful, spiritual, healthy and purposefully formed. Choices have consequences.

God’s Word, you see, gives us a map or plan for the family so that we might better understand what He had in mind for us. Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity. What we do as mothers, therefore, has eternal significance, so it’s especially important to understand God’s original intentions in this regard. Exploring His design for families and for motherhood can not only help us understand what has gone wrong, but also how, with God’s help, we can move closer to the joyful, fulfilling, and vitally important role He intended for us from the very beginning.

A Beautiful Life in the Midst of Messes with Jane Biel

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Today, I am looking for Him and taking time to notice in the midst of deadlines, duties and messes. I will never have a day just like this again to notice and celebrate with a grateful heart.

Today, amidst hours of work and writing, Joy and I took time to walk and chat for a couple of miles together. Wonderful way to celebrate our moments together before she goes. 

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox." Prov. 14:4

My sweet, wonderful kindred spirit Joy is still home from Scotland where she is studying, but only for about a week. I enjoy her company so much. There are more messes right now because we are all working a lot, eating a lot, drinking a lot, but when we have free time, we spend a lot of friend time just enjoying each other. I don't worry so much because I know through my whole life, that at 63, the messes come and go, but my precious ones will leave soon enough--and then I will have a hole in my heart. I share some past thoughts from my quiet time chair in my second story bedroom that looks out on the mountain terrain of my 7200-foot altitude home.

Do you agree with my premise? What are you taking time for amidst your messes?

I am sitting in my little quiet time chair here in my Oxford home, coffee in hand. From my wide window, I look out on blooming pink bushes, spidery trees, and a college dormitory filled with students from all corners of the world. In every home we live in, I choose windows that look out on the most beautiful natural scene, so that I can have some of His life-stuff to bring perspective, peace and quiet to my soul each morning as I meet with Him. This habit has changed the trajectory of my life because it gives me time to move into the day with purpose, perspective, choices of how I will live well with those demands and people around me who will all want my help and attention all the time.

In front of me is a pile of books scattered over a coffee table. There is also a couch pillow thrown onto the floor, a couple of pairs of shoes left where they were taken off, (always boots in this season of rain in Oxford, a wilting potted plant in desperate need of water, Lily’s soft but slightly stained blanket right where she dropped it the other day before she went back home. And a half-drunk cup of hot chocolate from the night before with Joy. And this is just the eight feet in front of my chair!

The rest of the house is much the same-- life messes in the midst of order and beauty. As the proverb says, “Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean.” I comfort myself daily with the fact that I have six or seven oxen living in my home most of the time, and thus my stalls are not always clean, but my house is full. My world is always a mixture of beauty and mess, order and piles of things not yet subdued into order.

Sometimes the circumstances of life are like our home--messes and joys, fears and blessings all in the same breath.

But it is what we see and how we perceive what is happening that will determine our comfort or our despair.

I have purposed daily to choose to enjoy the beauty of the treasures He has placed in my path, because when I look for His fingerprints and whispers amidst the messes, my heart changes and begins often to sing with the rhythms and chords He has placed there.

Today, join me and my friend, Jane Biel as we have a conversation about beauty amidst messes and look at the beautiful table she set for Clay and me before I left Colorado.

How to Raise Deep Thinkers & Podcast

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Today is my wonderful Nathan’s birthday. How apropos to be able to share him with you on his day.

Sometimes, I can’t believe how much I love my children and what a deep place of respect they hold in my heart. To be able to be together as friends, as adults, companions in all of life is my favorite thing. After almost a year of being separated from one another because of Covid, I visited Nathan in New York City and found such fun, companionship, stimulation and interest in our constantly flowing conversation. He is and has always been one of my most worthy companions and best friends. Being with him fills my heart, mind and soul.

Many people listen to his podcast (The Overthinkers) with his friend Joseph Holmes and find it compelling and educational. As a little boy, Nathan was asking questions, engaging in ideas, discussing his philosophy and insight as a way of life. Verbal jousting seems to be a Clarkson pass time. Reading and discussing every possible subject, book, piece of art, literature, science was pleasure for us all. It is no wonder, he became an adult who inspires so many through his life and work. Often, people find Sarah’s, or Joel’s or Joy’s writing, speaking or music online, they have the same reaction. How did you raise children who think and who are articulate? Who engage and add to the discussion of truth, beauty and goodness in our culture?

Today, Nathan and Joseph and I discuss this very subject: How to Raise Deep Thinkers. It was so very encouraging and inspiring to me to hear these seasoned men discuss what shaped them to become deep thinkers. I hope you will be encouraged as I was.

And be sure to tell Nathan Happy Birthday! :)

Awaking Wonder: Opening Your Child's Heart to the Beauty of Learning

By Clarkson, Sally

The Awaking Wonder Experience: A Guided Companion

By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Clay

Mothering Is a Long-Term Work

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever ... In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.

~ John 14:15-21

What a gift it was to return to my home in Oxford and to have my precious grandchildren waiting for me. With all that I have on my plate, nothing was more important to me than soaking up every minute in the companionship of my precious littles who are growing up so quickly.

A sweet mom wrote me a letter this week and said that she and her friends had been reading through Ministry of Motherhood together. She said they really enjoyed it, but it was a little overwhelming because it felt like I was always so positive about my children and that I always loved them. Then she asked if I really always felt that way.

Of course not! We all go through seasons where we wonder if some of our children came from another planet. Sometimes we have feelings that suggest we are not really a good mom because we don’t even like our children in the gritty moments of life. And sometimes we just wish we could escape!

I learned very early in my Christian life about the concept of obedience. God asked me to obey Him with my heart and Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will obey Me.” So, obedience is out of love, not feelings. Many times, I would do the right thing, even though my feelings didn’t match my actions. In other words, I knew it was right to “act” in a loving, patient manner towards my children. Or I knew that God wanted me to “respect” Clay–even times when I did not feel like it! But because I wanted to love Jesus, I would obey. What I found out is that my feelings would usually follow my right actions. In other words, the more I obeyed the Lord in serving my children and encouraging them, the more of an investment they became to me, and the more I cherished them.

Growth is a long process. My deep love and reverence for these children have grown after many, many years of cherishing them–sometimes because I truly loved and enjoyed them–and sometimes purely out of faith. God has gentled my heart over time, and now I know how dear it is to cherish time with those you love because, age old truth is that it will indeed fly quickly. But, as I have said before, as in a garden, whatever you water and nourish the most is what will flourish. If you water the garden of family and children, patience and love and life-giving and beauty, it will grow and flourish–it is a long-term work.

Calm My Anxious Heart & Podcast with Linda Dillow

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

I’ll never forget the first time one of my teens was out at night and had to drive home in a snowstorm. I knew I was supposed to trust God, be at peace, but I knew storms and I knew my teen. And I worried until they got home.

And I remember when my 8 month old was admitted at the hospital when they were not breathing. And when my child was in college and said they felt like they were so depressed they didn’t know if they would make it through the months of work ahead. And the time I heard that my husband had had a wreck with my boys and their friends. Or when death of a loved one entered our doors unexpectedly.

Anxiety is a response to life when it feels dangerous or out of control. We all have many anxious moments in our journeys. It is our heart, soul and mind’s reaction to moments when we feel deep fear, the feeling of being out of control during danger.

Yet, I have learned slowly to move in the direction of trusting God more practically, learning to claim and feel more peaceful in the moment and how to breathe in those moments of such feelings.

Life for all of us is filled with such moments, yet, it really is possible to gain perspective of life in a fallen world, to learn how to practice and get stronger at being courageous and walking with God holding our hands through each time of such dramatic feelings. What an honor it was to discuss these issues with my dear friend and mentor for many years. Today I have the honor of sharing a podcast with my dear friend, Linda Dillow, who authored the book, Calm My Anxious Heart many years ago. Tens of thousands have been helped by this wonderful book. And I would love to provide one of her books for one of you. Just leave a comment on Insta, Facebook or here. In your comment, let me know what ares of anxiety you struggle with the most. I think your comments will help all of us to feel that we are not alone.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Growing Slow With Jennifer Dukes Lee

Click here to listen to today’s new podcast.

A deep delight of my week in Oxford is walking with bags in hand over cobbled roads to a local, open air market near my home. Row after row of bright, ripe produces entices me. as I pick out “fresh from the local farm garden” produce from local farmers. The market is overflowing with fresh fruit, veggies, goat and feta cheeses freshly pressed. But the farmers gathered there tell me that when you take enough time to plant seeds in the right season, water, fertilize and protect, and wait, you will be rewarded with the fruit of the earth.

Vegetables and fruit straight from the earth take time to grow and then to ripen. The taste is so much more delicious when you allow something the time to ripen before you pluck it out of the ground.

And so it is with life. Growing takes time. Growing and waiting for the ripe moment requires hard work and patience. We are so very used to an instant gratification sort of life that we often quit on something before it has had proper time to grow. Character building and training takes time. For a child to move from banging on the piano to playing Beethoven well at a concert requires years and years.

My friend, Jennifer Dukes Lee, has written a wonderful book that helps remind us to wait patiently, to thrive as we grow slow and wait to see how God will unearth his miracles little by little. Talking to her made me breathe a little bit deeper, slow down, rest in the moment. It is in accepting God’s ways of growth that we will find peace, hope and blessing.

Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-Hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farm Girl

By Lee, Jennifer Dukes

Growing Slow Bible Study: A 6-Week Guided Journey to Un-Hurrying Your Heart

By Lee, Jennifer Dukes

It is the Glory of A Woman to Love and Lay Down Her Life, Too.

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend."

Jesus, who laid down his life.

Yesterday, I received a note from a sweet friend of mine who lives far away on the east coast (and how I miss her.) She is an excellent mom, a spiritually mature woman, growing in the Lord, and has a heart to focus on His love and grace.

She said, "I was not feeling like an excellent woman today.  I have been battling severe sickness with all of my family this week, actually over a week, which caused me to have to cancel a weekend alone with my husband for a much-needed getaway.  I was ill with this stomach bug for the last two days, and then last night my dear husband and I had a very rare argument, that was devastating, and shortly after my 6 year old began throwing up all night and I (unsuccessfully) slept on her floor, as she was up every 30 minutes to an hour, so this morning my husband had to leave very early on the business trip he had to attend,  very sadly on "our" trip, without me,  alone, and me with 3 more ill children throwing up as he walked out the door. I really try not to let "stuff" get to me and am usually trying to focus on the Lord, but this morning I was sad, angry, sleep-deprived and not feeling like such a great woman." 

Truth be told, most of our life is invisible--this noble cause we embrace is often fraught with challenges, exhaustion, relentless repetition, spiritual challenge— yet this is the very place of our worship. This is the place faith is being forged and character is being modeled and love is going deep into the heart and mind of your children. This is why I champion the cause of motherhood. What you are doing matters so much. And most of all, Jesus, who sacrificed his time, emotions, and ultimately body and freedom, sees you and is so very pleased and cheers you on from the heavenly realm. You are a big deal to your precious ones. We are a picture of God's sacrificial love to the brains, souls, and hearts of those He entrusts into our hands.

God has empowered us to make the imprint that will determine what the next generation will become. It is our choice if we decide to embrace this very challenging role with grace, faith, and the giving of our lives or if we resent it, develop anger, and pass on rejection to our children.

I was not taught or trained to understand the sacrifice this role would require of me. In one of the most significant roles God created that would indeed determine the very outcome and moral character and faith of the next generation, most of us have not been instructed, supported, or inspired. Is there a place in our current culture that might truly appreciate this sacrifice and validate the spending of our lives for this eternal purpose?

No one said to me, "Yea, Sally, you chose to be patient with one more ear infection and sleepless night! Congratulations, you are the queen of mentally challenged children with OCD and asthma and learning issues and of course, all four are sinful and fuss and make messes and want to eat and wear relatively clean clothes every day! Congratulations, you are so very patient with those hormonal teenagers, you just waited for your toddler to get over his tantrum and you handled it patiently--you a hero!"

One of the strengths and profound work of a woman, as I have said many times before, is to bring civility and order out of chaos and to bring beauty, intelligence, excellence in subduing her kingdom of home into a life-giving haven.

And so, my home and all the little choices of each day became my sanctuary of worship, my sacrifice of praise. Bringing light into the potentially dark corners of my life, singing and dancing and celebrating God's reality into the mundane world of dishes, the late nights of Winnie the Pooh cartoons and ear infections, and the hot steamy showers, sweat and hollow exhaustion where my children felt the comfort and grace of His touch through me.

Yes, it is indeed the glory of a woman when she chooses to love and embrace her precious child as a gift and a work straight from the hands of God.

When Darkness Threatens & Podcast

Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher

God has placed images into nature that actually reflect our real lives. Light of sunshine allows us to see. Dark of night obscures the things around us. And so it reflects a true part of our emotional life—we have times of light when we walk through life well and understanding where we are going. But when darkness falls, especially on our emotions and thoughts, we can feel lost, moving toward depression or a cloudiness of soul. So many of you commented on my recent podcast with my dear friends, Gretchen and Jennie, I thought we might need to share a bit more.

When we feel understood and that we aren’t the only ones who feel this way, we can more easily move forward and accept our inner reality more easily, instead of living with guilt or a feeling that no one understands us. Knowing these struggles resonate with so many, we decided to come back and discuss when darkness threatens and depression looms. Today, two of my friends and I share our own stories of depression, dark seasons, and walking through these times with faith.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Life-giving With Sally Clarkson App is Here! & Giveaway

Click here to listen to today’s new podcast episode.

Hi, Friends,

Download my app, Lifegiving with Sally Clarkson onto your phone for an easier way to find all that I am doing from my world to yours.

As I look at the landscape of our times and of our culture, I see such a need for hope, for strong faith, for foundations of good character and integrity—All of these needs have been a part of humanity for generations. Yet, often, women who caught a vision of becoming civilizers, life-givers, shapers of minds and souls, were the ones who instilled these attributes through their homes. It was the conversations at the meals, the bedtime blessings, the morning prayer times, the ways people were taught to love that created human beings who learned to thrive in real life. This is the way women have invested their lives to build over thousands of years.

Yet, isolation has crept into our neighborhoods, we know fewer people who live in homes near us and often we are separated from the families we love. So, much of life is “done” without the love and community of others. Loneliness is epidemic and people feel invisible all over the world, wherever I travel. We all long for more intimate, close relationships where we are known and loved. Yet the busy-ness of life, the responsibilities we must fulfill, the lack of time leave us feeling exhausted and lonely at times.

This is one of the reasons Clay and I dreamed of building our membership, LifewithSally, and it is why we created an app that could make it easier to find such encouragement. My app is an easy way to listen to podcasts, to access my instagram, the membership, (lifewithsally.com) and so much more.

Today, to celebrate my new app, we are giving away a bundle of my books.

Awaking Wonder

The Lifegiving Home

The Lifegiving Table

The Lifegiving Parent

Just share with a friend and leave a comment. We would love to spread the word.

We hope you will enjoy the new ways to receive encouragement and inspiration, from my heart to you.

And I hope you will find a little encouragement for your week in my podcast today. Happy Monday. friends.

Jesus Offered His Life, as a Model to Us

Jesus said, "I am humble and meek, learn from me,"

Darkness crept over the crowded city as shadows danced upon the rooftops and meandered through the roads. What a week it had been, walking the roads with Jesus, talking to the broken, the sad, the accusing, the curious--that stream of humanity that always grasped for a part of Jesus' day.

In reality, dusty roads, thousands filing back forth on rutted pathways, noisy crowds, squealing babies, husky voices selling their market wares, wheels churning sand and thrumming on old roads, hungry bellies, and exhilarating conversation all spun together in the minutes of the disciples' lives to make this day much like any other they had shared over their years with Jesus. How could they possibly have known what the next 24 hours would hold?

The promised Passover celebration brought a familiar comfort to the weary men who had gathered over the memory of God's protection since they were children. Strong herbs blending with the smoky lanterns and the smell of fresh bread baking wafted through the home where they would meet in the upper portion of the house together.

Jesus, knowing that He had cast the stars into their place, that He existed for eternity past in splendor of light and perfect fellowship with the Father, where myriads of angels bowed before him and worshipped, and also knowing He was soon going to be subjected to hysterical crowds, violent soldiers, aggressive, poisonous jeers and beating, and finally a terrifying death, willingly, generously, intentionally,  knelt down on the rough, sandy carpet, girded Himself with a towel, and gently and lovingly wiped the dust off of his beloved friends’ dirty, stinky feet, all the while speaking in soothing tones, teaching one last bit of wisdom.

"In this world you will have tribulation, but take courage,"

"I will send a helper who will be with you always and He will bring to mind all that I have told you."

"Love one another."

"I am the light of the world. Believe in me."

Always His heart and words were focussed on His beloved band of friends. Always, He was thinking of how to prepare them, to strengthen them.

Not even in His death did he focus on His own needs.

"I am humble and meek, learn from me," He said.

All of this for those who could not have known the sacrifice, the depth of His choice to humble Himself, or the vast generosity that was being expended from a heart overflowing with love focused on them. Only maturity would bring gratefulness.

And so, in pondering, I must ask myself … does my heart remain humble as I wash feet, or serve a meal? Are my words life-giving and generous, serving to strengthen those in my home with my heart, like the heart of Jesus? Do I bow willingly in the dust and stink of my own life because He was so willing to spend His life in giving, serving, loving without thought of Himself, even in His death?

And so, as I come to this night, the night of remembering Him, my heart is overwhelmed with His humility, His focus, His total self-giving without expecting anything in return, and my heart is bowed down in deep gratitude that this is the God who has called me to serve--never asking anything of me that He did not already so willingly do and model so that I would understand the heart and the how of living in such a way.

I pray you have a meaningful Good Friday, and a beautiful Easter.