Becoming A Teatime Discipler

As a woman, perhaps as a friend or mom, you have a unique capacity to pass on words of faith, to help spiritually form another person, to provide an example that another will carry into their lives wherever they go. It will become their own as they partner with God for next steps, a vision and hope for their futures, and a sense of their part in God’s story.

Teatime discipleship is a legacy I have left in the hearts, minds, and souls of my own daughters and sons, celebrating life together hundreds of times in this way. When asked why all four of my children believe deeply in God, all of them almost always say, “It was the great food, the feasting together through life, the encouragement given, the emphasis on beauty and conversation, the faith that was passed on through so many intentional times together.”

Companionship of soul and mind requires planning, purpose, and choice. Those treasured shared spaces in so many of our homes and shared moments and the community of family and friends that grew from them didn’t happen on their own. They were crafted, sought, chosen, and claimed times, times when we said no to other commitments or work.

In a world where so many feel alone, isolated, and misunderstood, we can come along beside our beloved ones and be a source of life, faith, and love to them. You, too, can become an artist of beauty through your own life as a teatime discipler.

Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship for Mothers and Daughters.

Love One Another: Kindness Gentleness & Respect

What could be better than the pairing of tea in beautiful Polish tea cups, being surrounded by great books? a happy hour to fill my mind with great stories. I wish you could join me. Oh how I have longed for long conversations, friends during my cold winter days. Join me, won’t you?


Two of my children from a very young ages had their own means of snuggling as close to me as they possibly could. Just to be near me was a reward & total happiness.. One would bound down the stairs and come with blanket in hand, “Mama, can I squish next to you. It makes me feel so good to be close to you” The other was a bed snuggler with similar words.

Because they were my beloved children, they did not have to confess their sins before I would take them in. They might have made messes the day before or fussed. But because they were mine, I welcomed them into this space, cherished the memories & moments. I plastered them with my kisses.

***

God sees us as toddlers, so to speak. Understanding our fragility, our humanness, He responds to us as I responded to my beloveds. He is mature even when we are not. He is constant in His love toward us, His commitment, His care for our needs, and His compassion for our heart’s cry. As our heavenly Father, no matter what we do or how we fail Him, He is the constant one, the responsible one. He knows our frame—that we are weak, immature, imperfect, but He doesn’t require us to perform before we come close. He just wants our heart to trust Him. He wants us to depend on Him as our loving Father.

When we come to Him as a child—innocent, dependent, trusting, and humble—He welcomes us into the place right next to His heart.

The more we believe in His love, the more we live in the peaceful, generous acceptance we have from Him, the more we will exhibit this to others. Our actions display our heart.

In Tea Time Tuesday, we explore ways to show one another “Kindness, gentleness, & respect,” as an expression of what God is like. books, food, more!

In Tea Time Tuesday, we explore ways to show one another “Kindness, gentleness, & respect,” as an expression of what God is like. books, favorite food, & more!

Brew a cuppa and enjoy!

Home Is The Best Place To Be

Often in this age of social media and comparison, we can foster without knowing it a negative view of home. We imagine that it's out there in the "real" world, on amazing trips or at work, that the important things happen — and that home is just the place we stop to rest in between.

But we will spend most of our lives in our homes. This is not a bad thing, but to the contrary, the way it should be. Home is a place that is not just meant to hold, protect, and house us. It is also a place that was designed to bring life, to foster wonderful memories, to teach minds, to create traditions.

As you spend your days inside your home, don't count the minutes until the next time you leave. Rather, make your home a place worthy of spending the many seconds, hours, and days that you and your loved ones live out.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

Motherhood Is A Divine Calling

On a family vacation many years ago, I reflected on my years of performing the endless mundane tasks of motherhood — picking up mountains of socks, supervising numberless naps, and cooking thousands of meals, of which only a portion were appreciated.

There had been hours of constantly settling fusses over petty issues, continually straightening our home, only to have it messy within a short time. There had been myriad books read, lessons supervised and still feeling inadequate to do it all.

I had so many moments when I doubted that anything was being built into the hearts of my children, when my belief that all of this mattered for eternity was all that kept me going, one step at a time. Now, I can see clearly just how worthwhile the journey has been.

The reward of a shared sense of humor and the pure enjoyment and love of being with my children shows me how glad I am that I held tight to my vision. These children, now towering over me in their grown-up bodies, are just the kind of people I want for friends. Indeed, I consider my family to be my very best friends.

How thankful I am that God, his Word, and his Spirit kept me pressing faithfully onward. But, as I look around me, I see so many other precious moms floundering and tempted to give up their ideals.

I see moms who struggle, as I struggled, with a sense of inadequacy and failure. Many who are lonely, feeling unsupported, questioning the choices they made, and worrying about the factors in life they can't control. And many moms who are simply tired, running low on the energy they need to be the mothers they truly want to be.

For all these mothers and for those who have yet to encounter moments of discouragement, I want to share a little of what — besides the grace of God — has helped me to continue on this worthwhile journey during this week’s #MissionOfMotherhood book club.

This week, you and I will talk about what it means to be a ministering mother, as well as how to guard our vision of motherhood, and our hearts, for the long journey ahead. I so hope you'll join me on Life With Sally!

A Kiss From God

“Your journal will stand as a chronicle of your growth, your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your ambitions, your sorrows, your serendipities.”

— Kathleen Adams

There are times in my life when something special happens and I feel like it is a “kiss from God” to remind me that He loves me and cares about my heart needs. When He graced our family with my daughter-in-law, Keelia, it was such a time.

If you heard my podcast from yesterday, you will understand what a blessing she is to me. She makes me want to be my best self and encourages me along my personal journey. Recently, Keelia created the most beautiful journal, called The Wallflower Journal, with thought-provoking quotes and beautiful pages to offer to women.

With all the snow and all the time inside, I have been asking, “Okay, Lord. How do you want me to use this time well? How can I create some rhythms that will help me in my life?”

I began, once again, to pick up this practice I had not been as faithful at the past busy months. And in journaling, I remembered again what self-nurture it is for my inner self. Journaling brings healing, self-discovery, spiritual strength as we pour out our prayers to God, and a place to understand all that is bubbling up in our hearts. It has been such a wonderful way these past weeks for me to give myself time to discover some areas I needed to confront, to record my deepest prayers for my children and Clay, and even getting rid of some emotional baggage I have been carrying for too long.

So, today, I wanted to encourage you to pick up this healing, encouraging practice for yourself. And I wanted to show you this beautiful journal in case you need a fresh start.

I hope that you will be blessed with breathing in peace, yielding your burdens into God’s hands and clearing out the deepest pondering of your hearts.

Courage Wins the Day

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday

Courage: the mental/moral strength to, persevere, withstand fear or difficulty.

Does it really matter? All the days of messes, children bickering, seeking to form beauty out of chaos? Living through one more sleepless night only to find more demanding hours awaiting living through the same things all over again?

Or the endless, relentless days of cooking, cleaning, serving, correcting, and then repeating it all over again?

Or, the journey, even now, of working through relationships with beloved adult children, issues bubbling up, difficulties abounding, the risk of being misunderstood or even, possibly, the lifelong work unnoticed or misunderstood?

Now, after 42 years of marriage and 40 years of mothering, I know that every kiss, tender, gentle moment of talking, being patient, every late night feeding, midnight discussion with my bewildered teens and adult children, all matters profoundly. What would a world hope for if there were not great women committed to serving, civilizing, bringing beauty from chaos and believing courageously in the truths of God, even during dark times? Courageous women are building a legacy of faith, love, goodness.

I know your faithfulness matters, because serving my children, giving my imperfect best gave them an opportunity to ponder God, to grow beyond my meager offerings into their own potential for living truly in their generation. There is a sacredness of marriage, family, faith, life of human beings born into the world as tiny, dependent babies. And we give worth to these truths by daily being faithful in small places.

Your choice to trust God is ringing out cheers in the heavens because it is so rare. No formulas, no guarantees of exact results. We do not control our adult children’s choices. But they are more likely to follow truth if it has been lived out in myriad moments of serving, loving, feeding, listening, praying, teaching faithfully over years. Faithfulness happens over thousands of days, years, of laying down our lives. Today, you are writing your story of faith and faithfulness.

Join Keelia and me today as we write the story of God's faithfulness through journaling and seeing God's goodness. Today, we are praying for you.

How Do You Picture The Art Of Home Life?

Home is the foundation upon which great civilizations are built. It is the sacred dwelling where souls are forged, humans have great value and children are cherished and marriage is regarded as holy.

Home is the place where virtue is shaped: minds are fed on great ideas, truth, and beauty, the finest of writing, the clearest of thinking, the food of thoughtfulness and insight are intentionally disseminated and protected every day.

Home is the place where moral excellence is modeled, learned, practiced, upheld and honored daily; where innocence is allowed to grow, where holiness is prized, and cynicism is kept at bay.

Home is the place where faith is practiced, cherished, embraced, and reflected in the very breath of life throughout all the days lived in fellowship with those who abide there.

Home is the haven of inspiration, where the art of life is expressed and taught. Color is strewn into every corner, delectable food is tasted, art, books, and beauty crafted throughout the scenery of its rooms and walls.

Home is the place where the whispers of God's love are heard regularly, the touch of His hands are given intentionally throughout the day, the words of His encouragement and affirmation pointed to lay the foundation of loving relationships.

Home is the place where stories of heroism, sacrifice, love and redemption are celebrated and embraced and heard, so they can shape the dreams of the souls who live there.

Home is a place of ministry and the gifting and giving of redeeming words, thoughts, actions, and love to all who come inside its doors.

Home ties invisible strings to the hearts of children who live there to a history forged together, to a heritage defined and celebrated, to a calling that is shared with the name.

Home, the place designed by God to be the laboratory of righteousness and divine calling for each one whose life was fearfully and wonderfully made.

How do you picture the art of home life?

Home Needs A Conductor Of Life and Beauty

A few years ago, on a crisp fall evening, a blazing sunset lured us all outdoors. As we sat peacefully out on the deck, admiring the beauty, the front door opened, and Joel strode out with a weary face and exhausted body. He had worked throughout the previous night and day.

"I just decided to come home because I needed 'us' to give me some rest and peace."

Dinner was still half an hour away. I quickly cut some cheese, arranged some crisp whole grain crackers on a plate, poured a bubbly drink in a glass, and gave him an offering; "Just a little something to hold you over until dinner is ready."

The furrowed brow softened, my son said: "This is why I come home. I knew you all would fill me back up, and I wanted peace and quiet for at least one night."

One of the best powers of home is the life that comes from within that gives comfort, a "place to belong" and a place that soothes the soul and gives everyone a sense of belonging to one another.

Living in a fallen world means that all of us will be subject to heartbreaks, illnesses, and disappointments. Our family has certainly had its share of dark passages: surgeries, car wrecks, a fire in our home, painful breakups, depression, financial struggles, and more. It was in those times we learned the power of a home that offers refuge, a place of comfort and safety away from life's storms. Having a place and time to rest, to be encouraged, and to find hope and healing is one of the most powerful gifts in a lifegiving home.

But such a home needs one who takes responsibility to create and conduct such an atmosphere—one of the gifts a mother gives.

This is what I will be talking about this week in the Life With Sally Book Club as we continue reading The Mission of Motherhood! I so hope you'll join me for exclusive podcasts, journals, ideas, and a community of kindred spirits to encourage you as we walk this journey of motherhood together. #MissionofMotherhood #lifewithSally.com

Creating In You A More Beautiful Soul

All too often, we can take hold of a faulty but understandable belief that our emotions, what we feel, are the things that control us, how we react, and the choices we make in the world.

But in reality, God has given us the power to rise above our emotions. We might not feel thankful but we can choose to give thanks; we might not feel love but we can choose to be loving; we might not feel happy but we can choose to be joyful.

Learning to work out the muscle of making the choice to act in the way that God has called us even when we don't feel it will not only bring life to the ones around us, but will also help beautify our own souls. We no longer have to be slaves to circumstances or difficulties but can live in truth and freedom no matter what life brings us.

Tea Time Tuesday: Why Does Submission Matter?

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Family Way #4: “We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.”

Memory verse: “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

My son, Nathan, is one of my best friends, a hero to me. He understands me. When we are together, we savor alone time just to be friends. Walking in Oxford together shaped warm memories.

When Nathan was a little boy, he often related to life through all the stories he carried in his heart.

Nathan loved the story of the Black Stallion — a stunning, wild, untamed, powerful, jet-black horse that eventually became one of the fastest horses alive, or so the story goes!

When Nathan was a little boy and I would have to discipline him, I would explain, “Nathan, a great race horse like the Black Stallion had such potential to win a blue ribbon in races against all of the horses in the world. But until this strong, wild horse learned to submit to the reins of the jockey, it was just a wild horse with potential. To be able to run the race, he had to submit himself to the direction of the master, and accept the reins. Nate, you are like that great wild stallion — so much potential to be a champion, so strong — but you have got to learn to accept the reins of our discipline so that you can run your race in life like a champion!”

Cuddled up on the couch, squished together in rapt attention, there were teachable moments as my children would look with wide eyes and open hearts when I would read them tales of conquerors and heroes — those who gave the strength of their lives to bettering or redeeming the world. Oh, how they loved great stories! And when their little imaginations were captured with those stories, I would seize the moment and say,

“To become a world class champion requires struggle, discipline, commitment and the will to submit to the process of developing greatness, and I believe that God has created each one of you to be a champion for His kindgom in your lifetime. I wonder how you are going to be used by God to change your world for the better? Maybe one of you will be a great writer like C.S.Lewis, or a great composer like Handel when he wrote the Messiah! Or a war hero, or a missionary, or doctor — there are no limitations to what God can do through normal people who submit to His training and live by the power of His spirit inside of us!”

Discussions of bravery, sacrifice, honor, submission to life lessons would ensue and these were the moments when the souls of my children were formed.

“What do you think it costs to become a great soldier?” I would ask.

“What if you were called to be a great writer — what kind of discipline would that take?”

“What if God wanted you to write great music that would encourage and comfort people all over the world? How would you become the best?”

And so on — capturing their imaginations with the principles of discipline was a part of inspiring them to submit to our discipline, training and instruction.

Of course, much of training is repetition, over and over and over and talking all along the way.

Yet, reaching the heart with training is as much inspiration as it is training. Both are necessary — training in truth and wisdom, practicing submitting to that training — but knowing that with the submission comes a reward.

God does not arbitrarily issue us commandments to be hard on us. His commandments, which must be obeyed, are for our best — to protect us, to bless us, to cause us happiness and to help us become the best we can be.

Understanding that bravery, heroism, greatness — a champion made comes from submitting to training and to discipline, is a truth that will allow all children and all adults to be teachable and trainable to greatness.

It seemed we had to learn to use this “way” often in the discipline and training of our children: “Our goal is for you to learn to obey. When you learn to obey mom and dad, you will practice becoming a trained child so that you will be able to hear God's voice and be able to obey Him.”

If obedience is secured only through force, instead of securing the heart — and the imagination of the heart — then the obedience will only take place when force is exerted. Many wonderful children have entered the world to find it a place of great temptation and allure. There are no guarantees of what choices our children will make or what their path will be.

However, I think for our own children, having a vision of why they needed to submit — to understand that choosing to obey shaped their own ability to become strong inside in order to become someone morally strong and powerful to bring righteousness into the world — greatly enhanced their desire to actually do the submitting.

The goal of our training in asking our children to submit to discipline and to listen to our correction, wasn’t just the behavior secured, but it was to help our children develop a responsive and teachable heart, so that they would choose to bow their knee to God’s ways, when we were with them and when they were alone.

They developed their own internal sense of wanting to become disciplined, trained adults who could pursue ideals of excellence for their Lord, because the motivation of their hearts had been secured.

And so we told many stories of soldiers, athletes, missionaries, leaders of every kind, other heroes in scripture like Daniel. We explained that discipline and submission was the pathway to strength and character and we were their best cheerleaders as we trained, corrected and encouraged them toward the vision of owning their lives to become someone who would have a great contribution to make in their world.

How are you painting a vision for the person they will become when they learn to “take the reins?”