A Family Culture of Unconditional Love: Only You Can Be You

Lisa, Misty, Sally chatting about how different our 15 children were and how we came to love them.

Lisa, Misty, Sally chatting about how different our 15 children were and how we came to love them.

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Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8

 Six of us were tucked here and there between blankets on couches, mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows in hand and enjoying the crackling fire in our den. It was a freezing December day with snow falling heavily outside, while we sat warm in body and soul in the fine company of each other.

After a heavy sigh, one of my boys said, “You know, almost everyone I have met in my world of work comes from some kind of broken background, with abuse or divorce or unhappiness. And those stories of instability and pain seems to paralyze them in so many ways. I hardly know anyone who came from a healthy background.”

“It is so great to be back in our family culture of love—no matter what conflict or difficulty or failure or attitude I’ve been experiencing, I know I can come home to unconditional love and have all of you here to support me, to accept me, to help me. I never knew how blessed our family was until I left home. We have so much to celebrate together. I am so happy to be here, to be able to restore.”

A Culture of Love—I had never thought of it that way, but it spoke volumes to my mother heart. All of us as families create a family culture of some kind. The traditions we keep, the meals we make, the routines we practice, the values we espouse and hold, the movies that are our favorites, the church we attend, the generosity we practice, the way we invest time, the company we keep—all of these come together to craft our individual family culture. We can also, inadvertently, create a family culture negatively—a culture of anger, neglect, guilt, discord, disharmony, worldly values, and so on.

Crafting a culture of love requires that I as a mom become the conductor of a loving and generous heart that leads all of my children to understand gracious, generous, sacrificial, validating, forgiving love. To create such a culture requires planning, intention, mature responses, words of life and affirmation, patience, and just lots and lots of unconditional love.

We pray our newest book (YES! Two new book babies in one month—so much excitement around here!) will be an encouragement to you as well as your children!


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