"For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith." Romans 12:3
The storms of my mundane, everyday stress were about to spew. Pounding down our long winding stairs, my anger mounted with each step. I could hear my boys fussing. Sarah and Joy were nowhere to be seen, and still the dishes were piled high—none of the chores I had meted out had been accomplished. As I reached the bottom stairs, I began blasting everyone loudly from the bottom of my toes.
Sarah and Joy came out of their rooms and peered over the railing to the main floor to see what all of the ruckus was about.
My frustration wasn't just about this day. It seemed I had been storing up my anger for quite a while. Many days in a row of messes, fussing, carrying it alone. All the children stared at me partially in fear and partially with humor twittering at their lips--which made me all the more angry. I did not appreciate being a source of humor to this crowd.
Of course, as soon as I quit, I was appalled at myself. What good mother yells like that What damage had I done?
Sarah, the typical oldest child, responsible, compassionate, taking responsibility, brought me a cup of tea, and sheepishly began,
'Mama, you know how much we all love you. I think you should consider when you feel anger and frustration building up and try to manage it--decide not to blow-- just before you feel like you are going to, because it always makes you feel worse than we do."
Has your child ever been the adult who counseled you!!Does anyone else ever feel this shameful regret? After all, I am a fairly mature believer; I write about motherhood, I love my children, so what comes over me at these times? Maybe I should quit writing and speaking until I have more integrity, the voices whisper to me in my failure.
Sometimes I punish myself when I blow it, as though I am above sinning and am shocked at my failure. I hate to hurt the feelings of my children.
Yet somewhere inside I know all of us blow it in some way almost every day. We are selfish at heart, limited in virtue, and in need of forgiveness--but mostly we need the grace of living beyond our guilt.
Each of us is tempted at times to the kind of pride that pretends we are better than others. However, Jesus was so very clear about our nature and propensity to fall short in every ideal possible. John writes, "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves."
Jesus does not judge me by my fleshly frailty, but by my heart of love for Him, my utter dependence on His grace, and my heart of gratitude for His enduring patience.
If you have blown it, and feel like a failure, walk in His wonderful grace today, even in the midst of your shortcomings. Remember, you are defined by His strength and provision, not your own limitations. This is why you need a Savior. He forgets our sin, but we remember his grace and humbly walk each day with Him.
Ponder these verses:
"Love covers a multitude of sin." 1 Peter 4:8
"There is therefore, now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1
"It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm so that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
"Nothing can separate us from the love of God," Romans 8
The storms of exhaustion and frustration catch us all. But God is the storm calmer. May you find today, the rest and peace that comes from living into His gracious, gentle, and compassionate heart.
Help, I’m Drowning: Weathering the Storms of Life with Grace and Hope
