40 Years: Anchors to Hold Us Fast in the Storms of Marriage

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Sitting together by our little outdoor fireplace, thoroughly drinking in the cool mountain air , our conversation with our children bubbled up as we contemplated 40. years of marriage which we are celebrating today.

Forty Years ago, we stood in front of family and friends and made vows before God to love, honor and cherish one another, “till death do us die.” So many graces and sweet memories fill our hearts. We could not have fathomed what the years would hold and how God would use our marriage in our world. Building the legacy of Clarkson, our feasts, our faith, music, celebrating life together, making memories, books written, conferences held, cherishing holidays and cultivating our own story—there are soooo many memories over the pathways of our marriage.

There are sweet blessings and a deep comfort to know that we are still here, together. Our partnership before God has endured. Our familiarity with one another’s ways and the myriad years we shared has given us a precious treasure I could not have understood when we began.

Yet, as with every couple, there were so many challenging seasons to live through. Building a legacy of faith and faithfulness through 19 moves, (7 internationally), sharing together the births four children, (3 miscarriages), of living together through all the seasons of sleepless, sick babies, demanding toddlerhood, adventuresome pre-school, golden elementary years, hormonal, push-back teen years, straining into young adulthood seasons, and now grand babies..

Storms and winds of darkness swept through our lives so many times. Thousands of meals, messes to clean up, illnesses, car wrecks, difficulties galore, hospitalizations, difficult times of feeling isolated, mentally ill children, countless dark nights of the soul journeys. We grew from immaturity and selfishness toward humility, grace and selflessness in a long process of obedience, admitting our flaws, straining to understand how to love and commitment.

But there had to be anchors that held us fast in storms. Anchors keep the ship from spinning away, from losing destination. Our vows were one of the anchors that kept us going, one day, one year at a time.

Early in our faith life, we were taught that vows before God are sacred and meant to be kept, no matter what. I had learned a number of verses that spoke of the importance of vows—that they are a picture of God’s never ending faithfulness to us as our forever savior and God. Since God would never part from us when we are covenanted to Him through Christ, marriage pictures that. When the storms threatened to draw us into the darkness of the gales of life, we depended on the anchor—keeping our vows held us fast.

Numbers 30:2 If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

Marriage is a sacred calling, a marathon for those who stay committed, a reward when a legacy is revealed and a blessing to those who are able to persevere, to stay steadfast.

In a fallen world, many precious ones find themselves in heart-breaking circumstances in broken marriages, and find themselves alone. We are all broken and in need of the sweet mercy of Jesus. I understand that everyone's story is different and I have deep love and sympathy for anyone whose journey has brought such pain. Many sweet friends have lived through these very difficult times and I pray God's gracious love brings healing and comfort. Every story, every life can be redeemed and healed over time.

Yet, when, if we are able to follow God's ideals and stay the course of our marriages, we are building foundations where loyal love, and virtuous commitment can be a story lived out in real life to show the reality of God's unconditional, forever love for us.

The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones,

And flesh of my flesh;

She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man."

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. ~ Genesis 2:23-24

These are serious words. They are words of covenant, of God’s design for marriage. Yet those of us who have entered into such a covenant have also learned a difficult truth: it’s easier said than done!

While today’s culture looks upon marriage as something to provide self-fulfillment, easily entered into and simply though regretfully ended when one or both partners decide they’ve “fallen out of love” or “just aren’t compatible” anymore, we can see in the damage done to our society that marriage is much more than our current view might suggest.

How grateful I am that Clay stood by me through all of my fits and starts, my moments of immaturity. And now we plan our lives—what can we partner to do together for the kingdom of God in the years God allows us to be together?

Marriage is meant to be a picture of the love Christ has for the church; His commitment and persevering faithfulness to us. He said He would never leave us or forsake us. He laid down his life for us.  Jesus treasures marriage because it is the holy place where His love for the world is modeled by how we practice giving to one another and staying the course of our commitment. What might you do to strengthen your own marriage, today? Today, Clay and I are praying for all of you, that you might know God’s grace and strength in your marriages.

Join me on my podcast today where I share more about our story of marriage, some content from Help, I’m Drowning about our marriage, and the ways we were able to live through the storms that came blowing through the many twists and turns of our lives.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

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