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The house was pitch black. I had to hold fast to the stair rail to be sure I didn't fall, in case I stumbled amidst the thick darkness. Three a.m. found me wide awake. I had gone to sleep exhausted at 10:00 p.m., but my heart was so burdened with worries, I had awakened. I needed time to pray. I did not turn on any lights because I needed privacy. I had so much to figure out.
On my knees, I sought to reach God, to find him amidst my questions. Through tears, I asked "God, why did you give me a little boy that is so hard to understand? I do not know what to do, how to reach him, how to have peace in my day. Please, God, help me."
Always when I tell stories about my sweet Nathan, moms say to me, "I have a Nathan!" What they always mean is, "I have a child who is challenging for me almost every day." Nathan is such an amazing blessing to me now, a best friend I talk to every day. Many of you know him through his books, as a writer/actor/producer of movies. But others of you who have followed us for years, know that he is my adhd, ocd, odd, dyslexic, other mysterious issues and my out of the box, bigger than life son.
As a little boy, Nate was always out of the box. When others walked on the sidewalk, he was on the grass, running around the bush, playing air fights with imaginary dragons, and living in a super man world in his mind. He wiggled, questioned, was loud and vibrant, fun, but loved great stories, literature, heroes and talking about them.
Many people labeled Nathan with consonants, vowels. Some said to spank him more. After years of studying him, trying to reach him, train him, understand him, I knew in my heart he had the making of a fine man. He needed love, patience, faith, time.
I learned over years how to love, encourage, train, confront, to slowly believe in his dreams. I prayed that God would help me support the person that God had designed him to be. I believed maybe God did make Nathan to go into the world to be a "superman"--his favorite childhood character--one who would come to our world, to save, help & redeem those who needed it.
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