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For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
Ephesians 2:10
Buying flowers or cutting them in the wild has become a habit I keep to surround myself with the beauty that gives grace. This week, flowers came from friends, a shop, and I took time to breathe in their presence in my harried life every day. You see Sometimes, I find myself in a place where I want to run away—away from the challenges in relationships with my loved ones hurts me to the core and I want to give up or give in! Or run away from the constant needs and demands of life (cooking, cleaning, work of every kind and then all over again.) I would love to flee the dramatic (all children, it seems, must go through stages—starts out with toddlerhood, escalates in late elementary years, explodes with teens, grows more serious with young adults, and then there is the period of self-realization that takes place with all maturing young adults, without which, there will never be humility, an acceptance of the fallen world, a humility that learns to give other imperfect beings grace because they have realized they will never be perfect.) It’s ok to feel like sometimes life is just plain hard.
But in those moments, we must learn to give ourselves grace for ourselves or we will explode from unrealistic expectations. We are putting so much pressure on ourselves as mothers. Each time we find ourselves too busy to cook (so we opt for fast food), too exhausted to clean, or so hectic in our lives that we didn't do a devotional with our children one week, we feel absolutely defeated and believe that we somehow failed our children.
While it is incredibly wonderful to set our standards high and live within these great ideals, as I have said many times before,
We must hold ourselves to a standard of grace, not perfection.
Each of us is a miracle, a work of art, an expression of the artist God. If I really look at the beauty of my sweet ones, my family, my friends, beyond the irritating moments, I will be in awe of what sweetness God has shared with me. It is simple to see all the flaws in my children, my husband, and myself. And it would be easy for me to take the blame for their failures, since I am their mother, and responsible for training them! But that is not healthy or biblical.
Yet, I am practicing several commitments to help me see each person for who they are inside. And to bring a fresh wind of grace to each moment.
* Assume the best about people in your life and choose to love them according to their needs. Recognize that they are growing, struggling, and living with their imperfect selves.
My little one is not plotting to make my life miserable by being needy. My children express needs through crying and whining to let me know something doesn’t feel right in their world.
It is a grace for me to be patient and seek to bring comfort and, again, grace! Same with my teen, my adult child. Their motivation in life is not to frustrate me. They are frustrated with the imperfections of life, (of which I am one), but God encourages me to be long-suffering, patient, and humble if I am to identify with and understand Jesus. I am their coach who gets to encourage them through the frustration. My husband is not necessarily mad at me but he is frustrated with the bills, the long hours of work, the things that keep falling apart, my friends also have a context that may cause them, for the moment, to be frustrated or angry.
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