I Used To Get In Trouble

I was thinking today how thankful I now am to be me, the person I am in the inner world of my life. I have deep pleasure in thinking, creating, exploring, dancing, laughing, and living rich on the inside, where no one can see.

As a girl, I used to get in trouble in class for talking too much. Eventually, I just learned to keep my mouth shut. But I thought I had a lot to say if someone would just listen. When I was a little older, questioning my faith, the world, and ideas, I was told, “You ask too many questions. Can’t you just accept life as it is?”

But my brain was always busy thinking, pondering, imagining. I just didn’t fit the norm. I was a little “too much.”

Asking questions and challenging the norm was what led me to become a writer, speaker, an idealist, and an educator. I wanted an “authentic” life, real answers, to live into the amazing, spectacular, wonder of God’s world, to love people with all my heart, to push out the boundaries of life. I also wanted to encourage others in their ideals and thoughts about life.

Then I had Nathan. He also asked too many questions, lived life to the fullest, and got in trouble for talking too much. To this day, we might both be accused of talking too much, especially when we are together, discussing our ideals, our deepest questions, and our faith, and laughing too loudly, seeing life and people from a different perspective.

I like who he is, too. Now he writes books, produces movies, hosts a podcast, cooks great meals, sings, and treats me like a cherished friend. He never tells me I talk too much. He understands his mama because we are alike. He makes me feel understood.

If Jesus gave each of us distinct DNA, individual fingerprints, unique personalities, individual physical traits, He intended for us to be fully alive when we worked in cooperation with our uniqueness. Even as a red poppy is distinct from a yellow daffodil, and both have great beauty, shouldn’t we learn to value one another for our unique elegance?

Such freedom and grace comes when we learn to validate the rare, exclusive designs we have been imprinted with by God’s very imagination.

By the way—missing you today, my Nathan. And I like you a lot.