Moms: God's source of grace in young girl's lives!

In a culture where women are confronted every day with photographs in media that show perfect bodies, messages suggesting sexual innuendos and the need for young women to be attractive to the opposite sex, there is a perfect emotional storm for all young girls seeking to be liked and wanting to eventually be loved by the opposite sex.  The passage from childhood to adulthood is fraught with kids wanting to still be loved and approved by their parents, but also longing to strain toward adulthood and wanting to be affirmed by their peers. This is a normal passage for all young women.

However, the way this passage into adulthood is handled will greatly determine the relative health and confidence with which a girl merges into adulthood. And as a mom, you can truly be a voice of affirmation, encouragement and guidance for your girls if you can understand the pressure they feel to conform and to please their peers.

Now in my 20's,  I have experienced my fair share of growing up, stretching, hurting, and learning how to enjoy being a young woman. Even now, I remember my first day of high school , and the confusion and anxiety I felt, like it was yesterday. The majority of my peers were nervous, maybe even terrified, wondering how well they would be received by the population of teenagers.

I couldn't fall asleep the night before because I couldn't stop thinking about what I should wear. My mom had taken me to my favorite outlet mall over summer break to pick out some new clothes. The entire night, I tossed and turned wondering which t-shirt/blue jean combo I should choose. Finally, I decided on some faded blue jeans with the "totally not already made that way" holes in the knees. Being from Florida, I also went with a Kenny Chesney t-shirt and some flip flops to complete my perfect high school look.

I walked down the halls my first day trying not to smile too much, because I didn't want to draw attention to my metal mouth. After each class that day, I rushed to the bathroom to fix my Florida humidified hair. Why was I so concerned about what people thought of me? They were just teenagers. The point is, we all want so badly to be accepted. We want to be liked.

These are the feelings all young women feel during their teenage years.

Now, as 22 year old young woman living in Hollywood, I have come to realize that these insecurities with which we struggle, don't really fade away with age. Women were created to be clothed in strength, dignity, confidence and grace, but looking around at our culture today, I see so much brokenness. So much hurt. So much insecurity. So many emotional scars.

We are in a generation with a serious identity crisis. We desperately want to be able to define who we are. This is why tween & teen girls will spend hours getting ready to go anywhere.  They long for affirmation in a culture that is passive and disconnected from real love. Constantly seeking answers and trying to figure out our ideals, beliefs, and dreams creates emotional vulnerability. Girls compare themselves to photo-shopped magazines. We are told that our value is in our bodies. We sometimes let our own insecurities discourage us deep within.  But what if I told you that you, as a mom,  held power and God given authority, to positively determine the outcome of your daughter's life? What if I told you that God has entrusted you to steward and raise a woman of influence?

This is a time and a generation filled with young women who desperately need to know they are worthy, valuable, and strong. All we need to do is change our definitions of ourselves. As a mother, you are in charge of a very important job.

Instead of getting frustrated with your daughter, her hormonal ups and downs, times of irrational responses, try to remember how you felt at her age. Relate to her and remember that it is not easy trying to figure out a strong identity.

Remember, "A gentle answer turns away wrath." Proverbs 15:1 (or anger, frustration, insecurity!)

I challenge you this week to make intentional time with your daughter. Have a cup of tea or coffee, laugh, chat, and ask her what is on her heart. When moms make time to be casual and personal with their daughters, to value the things their children admire, then it opens up a girl's heart to share with her inner most feelings with her mom. Perhaps your daughter is feeling confident and joyful. That is absolutely amazing, and it is my wish for every young woman. However, most girls struggle with feelings of doubt, insecurity, and confusion, but they do not want to reveal it unless they feel they can trust someone with their insecurities. Take the time to allow your daughter know how important her concerns are to you.

If you are seeking a Bible study, devotional resource to assist you as you spend quality time with your daughter, you can click on the following link to get your very own copy of my book, "God's Girl."

Relate to your daughter this week, and remind her that she is marvelously made.

***For more on Rachael Lee, check out her blog for young women.

Rachael Lee, Ministry Leader for Tween Girls; author, actress, Bible study Leader

A Few Thoughts on Wholehearted Homeschooling

Homeschooling must include mocha frappicino's to be effective!

A pioneers in the homeschooling movement, Clay and I had to imagine and design what the effects of our teaching would have on the long term life of our children. Ideals shaped the habits, rhythms and training of our children. Diligence to follow our plan was a constant effort to be sure we were faithful to be attentive to our children.

Many of you have heard our kids speak, or have read their writing in their books or on blogs, and heard their compositions and performances in various music, speech and debate, ministry arenas and in our conferences.

"Were all of your children just naturally intelligent? How did you give them that vocabulary? Why have your children stayed faithful to our ideals and to their faith in God?"

My wonderful children were just normal fun, loud, spunky kids who loved life together in our home. So many questions and letters--and probably a desire for us to give a formula!

The foundation and strength of our homeschool, of course, was our dependence on God, His word and His spirit's work in the life of our family and children's hearts.  But I do believe that because each child was made in the image of God, he has a capacity to be morally excellent, mentally strong, and accomplished in life. It is parents who must "call out" the capacity and ability of each child for God's glory.

As I have pondered these questions, I realize that I have very strong convictions about what really cultivates a strong and faithful heart, a deep and engaged soul and an agile, intellectually capable mind.

Four Areas come to mind:

1. A strong sense of self is necessary for a child to grow into the calling of God on his life. Heritage, history, self-government, and habits of excellence give children a roadway on which to move forward in developing confidence as adults.

2. A strong sense of place creates home as a haven, a place to read and discuss, a sanctuary for outreach to others, the center for traditions, morality, education and life as an anchor to the life that proceeds from the home.

3. Mental muscles  and strength are developed by reading the best authors, finest stories, observing excellent art and understanding the best composers, as well as being aware of the world issues, places and cultures, and discussing real ideas as a way of life. Intellectual acuity is possible to all children with all personalities because each one was crafted in the image of God. How adults view children's capacity is foundational to requiring excellence of skill and attention.

4. Discipleship training and practice in ministry expands the soul familiarity of Jesus's call on the lives of our children. But this must be experienced as a routine part of the family life. Love for Christ and discussions on a daily basis about the Word, practicing prayer together, and obeying God as a community provides healthy spiritual formation.

This summer, I have been watching my children interact over music and wrangle over books and movies, giggle over stories of the year reviewed, speaking passionately about convictions and taking turns patting our ancient golden retriever is always such a joy to me. The mind, soul and spiritual strength arose from the life of these commitments within the walls of our home every day. We spent so many hours here, the six of us, doing just those very things day in and day out for so many years! While there are many reasons homeschooling was a perfect fit for our family, this together-ness was perhaps the greatest gift of all, and the one I miss most now that they've flown (though only intermittently, thankfully!)

So much has changed in the homeschool world since we began. Speaking at several homeschool conferences this year reminded me of how sheerly overwhelming and perhaps confusing current glut of information, advice, and direction must be--especially to new homeschoolers.

And so I'm planning to share some thoughts on educating children at home each week. These articles will be shaped to encourage vision and application of education principles.  We realize each family must figure out its own particular puzzle. After many years of discipling young, new believers both here and overseas, we knew that when we did have children, that same dedication to discipleship must continue to mark our lives. Homeschooling just seemed a natural outgrowth of the way we wanted to raise our children.

At the time we were quite free to do whatever we wanted in terms of curriculum, scheduling (or not!) etc. because there just weren't the proliferation of confusing voices defining all of the formulas of home education! We were intentionally let's-read-lots-of-exceptional-books-together sort, by having researched educational options and data that suggested how to cultivate academic excellence. Reading as a focus required copious amounts of time. Exposing our children to the greatest thinkers, artists, musicians, and all things beautiful was our general "plan." But we did feel pressure sometimes for our children to behave in a certain way or to respond in a particular way to our direction, because of the criticism and opinions of others. As we have written about it in Educating the WholeHearted Child ...

"In our early years of homeschooling, we tried to follow laws of behavior to be more acceptable to God and others; we tried to conform to laws of belief in order to fit into movements or groups. Rather than sensing a freedom in the Spirit, though, we would end up feeling, in Paul's words, "burdened again by a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). We wish we had discovered the biblical truth of our freedom in Christ earlier. Rather than depending on man-made Christian formulas and rules, we rediscovered the ministry of the Holy Spirit to guide us in our homeschooling days and decisions. We began teaching others to let the Holy Spirit be their confidence, and that teaching became this book."

Summer is a great time as you're having fun with your children rather than feeling the pressures of the typical homeschool year to think a bit about how the upcoming season of homeschooling might be different. Educating the WholeHearted Child is my favorite book on homeschooling ... I may be biased, as of course it was written by Clay and I, and we gathered just about every thought we've had on the topic over our 20-plus year journey! You can buy it here.

What pressures do you feel as a homeschooling mom? In what ways are you tempted to pass those pressures on to your children?

Be sure to let me know any specifics you want me to write about as I could write about ideas and books and creativity for eternity. Let me know what you think.

Keeping the magic and mystique in Marriage: 5 Ways to Date Your husband

32 Years Ago this August, we committed to "Till death do us part."

Marriage is the foundation for all families. Together, you and your husband are partners in writing your family story. Once the honeymoon is over and children become a part of our relationship, we need to be much more intentional about making time for our husbands. After being married for many years, I have learned that as a wife, I must always continue working at our marriage. There will never be a year when it is okay for me to become passive and settled. Whatever is watered will grow--and a marriage will always need to be a priority to keep growing.

As women, we often place very high and unrealistic expectations on our husbands when it comes to romance because of false expectations from movies, media and television. Many years of marriage are very demanding and depleting.  We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, between ear infections, miscarriages, sleepless nights for years on end, bills, moves, exhaustion, ......you know the routine.

Because women are often isolated in life--no friends as neighbors, no family close by, few kindred spirits--their personal needs build and build. When an exhausted husband walks in the door from work, it is a temptation to expect a husband to meet the needs that God intended a community of family and other women to fulfill. Women really do need the fellowship,compassion and sharing of life with other women in their same situation.

Often, we expect our husband them to be prince charming everyday on top of being a husband, a father, a friend, and a hard worker. While I wanted Clay to be the "leader of the pack,", I realized that it meant  so much to him when I would intentionally cultivate the companionship and close relationship we had before children. Clay so appreciated when I would  plan dates and intentional time. It took a huge weight off of his shoulders.

The tips below are some ideas from our life to give ideas for you to plan intentional time and dates with your husband. They are all budget friendly, and many are free and don't require a babysitter!

5 Ways To Date Your Husband:

1: Dine Al Fresco. It is summer time, and nothing is more romantic than a warm breeze. Save money by cooking something lovely and having a date night in the backyard. Set up the ambiance at your patio table, or lay out a picnic blanket. Light some candles, let the children and pets stay inside, (Winnie the Pooh saved me many a night!), and enjoy some quality time.

2: Get Out! It has been proven that couples who go for walks together have all around healthier relationships (physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally). Go on a walk at sunset with your husband. Hold hands, talk about your day, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

On occasion, even now most Sundays, we ride on a country road near our home in the quiet of the mountains with  our favorite music playing and just enjoy the calm of nature, mountains, meadows--greens and blues. When we lived in big cities, we would take a ride on the metro and just sit and talk!

3: Ask Questions.

In our busy lives with children, work, and a million tasks, we often forget to ask our husbands how they are doing. Set aside a few minutes of intentional time to chat with him. Men like to be strong, and not every guy has the personality to just ramble about everything that crosses their mind (like women do). Ask your husband how he is feeling, what he is excited about, what is overwhelming him, and how you could help.

Clay did not always tell me what was on his mind, but nonetheless he wanted me to care enough to ask and spend the time to open his own pressures and issues.

My mom taught me to wait until the time was right to talk about big issues that might create stress. So often, I would make a tasty meal, light candles and play calming music (most every night), and then after Clay had time to breathe off the stress of the day, I would bring him a cup of tea and just sit and visit. Then, when the atmosphere was clear, I would then bring up the stressful issues of the day. (Much like Esther waiting until after the King had been fed before she asked a request.)

4: Recreate Your First Date. This is such a wonderful way to remember falling in love with your husband. If your first date included dinner at an Italian restaurant and a movie to follow, you can recreate that timeless moment at home! Cook up the pasta dish you had on your first date (you could even go online and print out the menu from the restaurant you went to). Rent the movie that you watched, and play it at home after your romantic dinner. You could even include the children in this night as a way to show them your love, and you could tell them the story of how you first met. Involving your children in this memory is wonderful, because it is crucial that your little ones view your marriage as something that is healthy, flourishing, and full of love.

5: Wake Up Early. Sometimes, the only way we can find the time to be intentional is to wake up before all of the other tasks begin. Have a special, quiet, coffee time with your husband. You could even include a devotional in this time, or just take the time to pray together.

Clay does not like to compete with the demands of the kids. He would wait until the early mornings to have a cup of tea or to talk to me about things. Now we either have a short time before dinner where we focus on each other, or a cup of tea in the mornings.

Do life together and remember to honor your husband and take initiative when it comes to creating intentional time as a couple. It is a grace of a godly woman to cultivate an environment of peace and calm where her husband can feel confident and safe enough to share all the issues of his heart, both insecurities, failures, hopes, dreams and struggles. 

Still, after all these years, and even more, because of our trials we conquered together, my beloved Clay is still "my man." He has endured so much with me. Our story of survival and faith and unconditional love, makes our story all the more precious.

A Time to Buy Wonderful Gifts for Friends! {25% Off Dayspring Coupon Code}

Oh how I love Dayspring! Meeting the wonderful founders of (In)courage who write for  Dayspring and their great host of bloggers at Allume and Relevant gave me a new set of kindred spirits. Grouping women of like mind in small groups all over the World for encouragement is exactly what we have always been striving to reach. I was blessed enough to go to one of their lovely weekend conferences and won my lovely vase. I keep it in my office. Inscribed are the words, "Grateful for Simple Blessings!" I keep this in my little library/study to remind me to stay real and simple--and of course I love having the flowers, too.

I wanted you to have the opportunity to grab some of these lovely gifts for your friends and family, because of the wonderful sale that they are providing!

Dayspring is a company that cultivates beauty that we can easily bring into our homes, with the message of Christianity and hope to share to the lives of those we love. This summer breeze brought more than just warm weather...it also brought us 25% off our entire order from Dayspring! July is the perfect time to take advantage of these hot summer deals.

Because Dayspring loves their customers, this incredible company is offering 25% off of everything when you enter the coupon code SUMMER25. This amazing deal even applies to items that are already discounted!

One of the things I love most about this time of year is the gorgeous, lush flowers that bloom. I will be picking flowers from Joy's garden to place into my personal favorite summer item from Dayspring. This beautiful, vintage vase is not only a lovely home for your favorite flowers, but it displays two wonderful messages of encouragement. One side reads "redeemed", while the other side of this gorgeous vase gives us the beautiful reminder in Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in it's time."

Don't miss your chance to encourage yourself and the other women in your life with this incredible message of inspiration that we all need. Click here to bring joy, inspiration, and love to your home for 25% off!

After the Last Tear Falls, There is Love

 

Breckenridge with Gwen, my old roomie in Poland, and Joy

Flowers, beauty, outdoors and Colorado cool days, fills me up. I adore flowers and mountains and so today was spent driving to our beloved town to show my sweet friend a good Sunday.

However, I am bejiggered, if indeed that is a word. Since May 18, I have only had 4 days when we did not have company staying at our house. It's just one of those summers--weddings, fires, ministry stuff, friends who needed a get away, friends of my children who wanted to come to California. And now I am enjoying a week with my sweet old roomie, Gwen, who has not been able to visit for some years. However, her mom passed away this spring and she is here for a family time of rest and fun.

Having so many in my home means more dishes, less sleep, more expenditure of my self and body. Yet, I have been so enjoying each person and feeling that I am so very blessed to have a home in which people can find sanctuary. It is something I have wanted to build my whole life--and now it is truly a retreat for my family, for Clay and me and for others.

But we shall be fasting for about the next 3 weeks, so that no more dishes have to be washed and no more food bought and prepared! :)

A habit of ours for all the years we travelled together, was to listen to our favorite music artists as we meandered the mountain twists and turns and marveled at the swaying aspens, dancing of the wind through the pines and the cotton ball clouds that tickle the mountain tops.

Hours of singing and quietly listening to the mellow tunes occupied much of our ride today.

Andrew Peterson, a friend of our family through the Rabbit Room and Sarah and Clay, writes such heart-felt messages into the poetry of his music. This song deeply ministered to my soul today as I leaned gently against the window, took in the beauty of the greens and blues and pondered how wonderful it will be when all tears have been cried, all sighs and weariness spent, and Jesus will be waiting, waiting with His overwhelming, generous love.

I hope as you ponder the lyrics, they will also touch your heart.

And how are you this summer? How is your heart? How is your soul? I would love to know.

After The Last Tear Falls by Andrew Peterson (on the album Love and Thunder)

After the last tear falls After the last secret's told After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone After the last child starves And the last girl walks the boulevard After the last year that's just too hard

There is love Love, love, love There is love Love, love, love There is love

After the last disgrace After the last lie to save some face After the last brutal jab from a poison tongue After the last dirty politician After the last meal down at the mission After the last lonely night in prison

There is love Love, love, love There is love Love, love, love There is love

And in the end, the end is Oceans and oceans Of love and love again We'll see how the tears that have fallen Were caught in the palms Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

'Cause after the last plan fails After the last siren wails After the last young husband sails off to join the war After the last "this marriage is over" After the last young girl's innocence is stolen After the last years of silence that won't let a heart open

There is love Love, love, love There is love

And in the end, the end is Oceans and oceans Of love and love again We'll see how the tears that have fallen Were caught in the palms Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

'Cause after the last tear falls There is love

PLEASE LISTEN AND ENJOY--AND MAY IT MINISTER SOOTHE YOUR HEART.

Ridding ourselves of darkness--Where Do You Cast Your Cares?

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7.

Most of us live through a mask of control where we carefully guard what we allow others to see. But deep within each of our hearts and souls, lurk fears, struggles, insecurity and inadequacy that comes from failing.

Yet, those who learn to cast off these dark feelings by replacing them with the truth of God's love and word, will be able to pull aside the mask to operate from truth, humility and grace in relationship to others. Moving from fear to freedom is a process that requires years of practice in casting our fears away from ourselves and into His hands. It has taken me a while to move from the dark of fears and insecurities to the place of peace and rest.

Imagine yourself in a quiet, dark, and comfy bedroom. You are sleeping so soundly and contentedly, when, out of nowhere, your husband sits straight up in bed and starts to scream and rant about some unseen thing or situation that the dreamer is finding himself in. Your heart races as you are pulled from your sweet slumber while trying to calm your dear husband, but it is in vain. He can't be woken, and he falls right back to sleep, not remembering a thing. Imagine this happening to you several nights a week, and on tired nights, numerous times. Each time it happens, you tell your dear loved one all about it the next morning, but he has no recollection and seems to be rested and happy. You get to the point where you are not as alarmed and just ride it out, like your least favorite roller coaster at an amusement park.

I wish the story was about my husband, but it is actually about me. For as long as my husband can remember, I have had night terrors. He has dealt with them as graciously as a heavenly saint sent from above. And, as long as I can remember, I have had no recollection of any such night terrors and am as happy as a clam each morning when I rise. I am SO thankful that my husband still likes to sleep in the same bed with me! Bearing with a spouse that has night terrors could possibly be classified under the whole "in sickness as in health" part of marriage.

To my recollection, there is no situation from my childhood or otherwise that causes my restless sleep. I did have a difficult childhood, but was never abused and was totally loved by my parents.

The only thing to make of it could be some form of worry, stress, or anxiety; and I do, in fact, have all three.

Worry, stress, and anxiety are so difficult to overcome. Let's face it, if we were honest, we would all admit to suffering from at least one of the three on a regular--if not daily--basis. There is so much to worry about!

My worries have mainly stemmed from growing up in a broken, alcoholic family and having no earthly idea how to have a Christian home and raise kids who love God. When you grow up with no modeling and without a Christian example to follow, you are often a bit neurotic, struggling to find the perfect formula to raise kids who follow Christ. Well, after searching and trying to figure things out, I have come to the realization that there is no formula, no matter how hard we try to find it.

It all boils down to trusting God, following Him, and giving Him our cares and worries each and every day.

Trusting God seems so simple, but so challenging at the same time. When our children are growing up, there can be many difficult issues in the lives of our family that cause us to lose heart. It is often during these trying times that we have no idea where God is, and we often want to give up, to quit trying at all. Our marriages can be challenging, our children can be disobedient, and some of them can even start to question the existence of God. How disheartening!

It is comforting to look at God's word and realize that many people in times past struggled with worry and fear. Throughout the Bible, we can see God telling us to trust Him. Look up the word "trust" in your concordance and see how many different verses there are that tell us to trust God. When my children were little, I would put some of these verses on index cards and keep them at my kitchen sink. I also have a chalkboard in my kitchen dedicated to writing encouraging verses that help me to focus on God and not on my own strength.

Struggling and worrying will probably follow me my whole life. After all, this is the broken place. We are not in heaven yet. There is a peace, however, in the midst of the storms and worries of this life that can be found only in God and his word. Spend time with God each day. Let God's word fill your soul and mind so that, when the worries come, you will be able to cope as much as possible and rest in His care.

 In the words of Peter, the fisherman, who knew what it meant to cast: to "throw."

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7.

Give your cares and worries each day to God and rest in His love and care for you, for it is wide and vast.

Deb Weakly: Mother of two beautiful and wholehearted children.

4th of July (For The Children!)

Celebrating each holiday with our children has brought so many fun and amusing memories. Our little town of Monument has one of the biggest 4th of July parades of any in the United States. Many years, our children would decorate their bicycles to ride in the 2 1/2 hour parade. Candy is thrown to the rowdy audience, fire engines play their sirens, mini-autos and clowns drive in circles through the entire parade, and soldiers are remembered.

A fair filled with booths of aromatic scents, fragrances of grilled barbecue beef, sizzling, fried funnel cakes, of pink and purple cotton candy, greasy brats surrounds the parade route so that eating is a near possibility at any moment.  All of us pink-up with  sunburn every year, no matter what precautions we have taken.

Later in the cool of the early evening, we gather with the same friends each year for a huge pot luck picnic and we anticipate all the food and antics for weeks ahead of time. Finally, all of us, 25-35 people, trek down to our local Palmer Lake and watch the fireworks sparkle in the sky while being reflected on the lake's shiny water. Many wonderful memories! This year, we will forego the firework because of the fires, but we will celebrate living in friendship and make fun of the whole evening.

The 4th of July is a wonderful opportunity to bring family together, relax, create new traditions, and have a great time. One common issue with holidays is when our little ones used to have little attention spans. Planning  advance helped me to  make sure that there would be many child-friendly activities even at our adult get togethers.

Craft for Children: 4th of July paper garland

What You Need: red, white, and blue construction paper, scissors, glue, string, ribbon, or twine (color of your choice), hole puncher (optional), star template (optional)

How To: There are a few different ways you can modify this craft to make it age appropriate for your child. If your children are older, you can have them use scissors to cut out the stars, then they can use a hole puncher to place a hole at the top and bottom of each star. They will weave the string through each star, creating a fun, colorful, festive garland that can be used to decorate your party! Children love being a part of things. Crafts make them feel like they are contributing to the event (and it is tons of fun!).

Remember that cutting out perfect stars can be a frustrating task. Consider printing out a template in advance that your children can use as an example. If you have younger children, cut out or print out colorful stars in advance. Allow them to glue the string to the stars, rather than tying and using a hole puncher.

The New Favorite Treat: 4th of July Marshmallow Kabobs What You Need: 

1 packet red jello,

1 packet blue jello,

lollipop sticks, marshmallows

How To: 1. Place each jello packet into it's own small bowl. (The jello should be JUST the packet. It will just be dry colored sugar.) 2. Dip each individual marshmallow extremely quickly into a bowl of water. 3. Roll each marshmallow into a color. 4. In the order of red, white, and blue, place your marshmallows onto the lollipop sticks. 5. Serve these to all the children at your 4th of July soiree! Nutritious Alternative: If you want a healthier choice at your 4th of July event, use your lollipop sticks and instead of doing the colored jello, do your red, white, and blue by using strawberry slivers, marshmallows, and blueberries.

May you have a wonderful 4th with your families!  Try these fun, child-friendly ideas to insure that every little one at your event makes memories they will never forget!

The Best Midnight Snack: Homemade Granola with Fresh Blueberries

Last weekend, 14 of us bloggers and writers met for a visionary pow-wow to plan, pray and study scripture together. Our goal is to write relevant blogs, ebooks and books that will transform the lives of women all over the world. But, have you ever noticed that talking (or living!) makes you quite hungry? (Must be all of those calories from our mouths flapping!) After midnight one night, while many of us were still up talking, I heard someone padding softly to my kitchen, squeaking open the door of our cupboard  in search of the best midnight snack. Three more of us piled in and announced our famished hunger needs that demanded satisfaction.

"Oh, have I got a treat for you!"

I pulled out fresh blueberries, real organic yoghurt in a bottle (the sour kind--and I had added my own vanilla and maple syrup) and our homemade granola. You would have thought we were eating candy! "Oh, this is wonderful, great, perfect, can we have more?"

In our fast paced, fast food culture, a healthy lifestyle for your family can feel quite difficult. With different children all running in various directions, a quick, simple, healthy breakfast can provide the start their day needs (and yours, too!) Mornings can feel a bit crazy...nutty, in fact. This nutty granola is the perfect go-to for bustling breakfasts in your home.

This recipe for homemade granola is not only delicious, but it is simple, quick, and something that you can prepare in advance and keep handy for those busy, hectic mornings, and late night evenings, in your home. Granola is also a wonderful, cost effective breakfast option if you are having numerous guests in your house at one time. Simply display your yummy masterpiece in your favorite bowl, and leave out milk, yogurt, and fruit for your family, or guests, to cultivate their own ideal meal.

Ingredients:

2/3 cup honey (or if maple syrup--a little less)

1/3 cup hot water

1/2 cup canola oil

1 teaspoon vanilla

just a tad dash sea salt

3/4 cup chopped walnuts 3/4 cup chopped pecans 3/4 cup sliced almonds (sometimes I add whole almonds) 6 cups rolled oats

1 cup craisins (optional--we love them, but we do not prefer raisins, which can also be substituted.) 1/2 cup dried cherries (if you chop them, they do not feel as obtrusive!)

Directions: Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. In a medium size bowl, whisk together the oil, hot water, honey and vanilla. Add a sprinkle of sea salt. In a large bowl, stir together the oats, almonds, pecans, and walnuts. Pour the honey mixture into the oat mixture and stir until the oats and nuts are evenly coated. Spread out the granola onto 2 baking sheets. Bake for 10 minutes, stir, and bake 10 more minutes, or until toasted. Allow granola to cool completely before stirring in the craisins and dried cherries. Your granola will harden as it cools. Break apart any large lumps, and store in an airtight container at room temperature.

Enjoy a relaxing, healthy morning in your home with this delicious recipe.

**used Blog 7/22/21) Remember, someone is always watching and listening

Weariness did not even begin to define the bone-deep exhaustion I was feeling. Lifting the weight of my body off of my bed in the mornings felt like an impossible task. Three hormonal teenagers,  a budding year old, Clay with a ruptured disc that caused him excruciating pain with each step; a book deadline; a daughter in and out of the hospital being tested for a brain tumor and my mom falling and breaking her hip were just a few of the issues that occupied my thoughts each day.

Resentment was exploding inside my brain. "No one appreciates all that I am doing to keep this family together. Cooking, washing, teaching, caring for everyone, running them to appointments, lessons, doctors and listening beyond midnight to teens pouring out their angst," and I mounted up the lists of my depleting responsibilities in my mind. This fueled my frustration with Clay, laying next to me in bed, and seeming not to notice my burdens.

The sun was just beginning to peak through the crack in the window curtain reminding me that there was little time left to sleep. I was willing Clay evil, selfish thoughts when the Holy Spirit gently nudged my conscience. "He needs you to encourage him. He is so discouraged because of bills, pain, and the insecurities of life all around him."

"Really, Lord? I am the one needing encouragement!"

But slowly, willing my arm reach over to him and gently scratching his back, I  confided, "I just want you to know that I really love you and respect how bravely you have born your ruptured disc.  I know you are in such pain every day, but I am praying for you," I softly whispered, in sheer obedience to God.

Quietly, almost imperceptible, he responded,"I am so relieved. You have every right to be mad at me.  I thought you were disappointed in me for not paying attention to you or taking care of you. But I have been so down about the overwhelming issues in our lives and constantly in pain, and I have not meant to neglect you--there is just so much. Thank you for being patient with me. I really appreciate you and love you."

And he reached over and gently embraced me before crawling out of bed, grimacing pain painted on his face.

I turned over and slowly slipped out of bed, donned my soft, well worn robe and padded quietly toward the kitchen for my first cup of caffeine.

As I approached the door of my bedroom, I saw my 10 year old son laying quietly on our bedroom floor, cuddled in a comforter and staring up thoughtfully from his soft pillow.

"Mama, I was sleeping here because I had a real bad dream, but I knew you were so tired I didn't want to wake you up. But I heard you and Daddy talking. It made me feel happy to hear you all comforting each other and saying, 'I love you.' I want a marriage just like you when I grow up---where my wife and I love each together and are partners in life. That would be so much fun to live with your best friend."

I didn't know he was there. I am so glad I didn't lash out from my own feelings of frustration. I realized you just never know when your children are listening or watching.

No Time to Waste On Stress

Many years ago, our family left the city where we were living, all the stresses, duties, chores, tension of living in close quarters with too many sinful people, .....We left our life amongst the world of responsibility and the closer we drove into the cool, refreshing mountain air, away from traffic, noise, our hearts began to rest and breathe.We had piled in our car to drive up into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to have an evening exploring the stars with beloved friends in the backyard of their mountain home that bordered the national forest. I have written the story in a chapter in Own Your Life.

The grandeur of that evening still lives in my heart. The spectacular views of the twinkling stars above contrasted with the sparkling city lights below, and viewing an amazing sight in the lens of a telescope looking into the heavens, gave me a different perspective of my life. I was so hyper-focused on the mundane, the immediate, the work of life, and yet there was so much more of beauty, light, life to be tasted, experience, enjoyed every day, but I could not see it because the false lights of the world and the noisy voices of others had drowned out the beauty of God.

Bible stories really are amazing. We identify with the characters that lived, we struggle with the same things, we have the same excuses.

"But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." -Luke 10:40-42

How did I get to this seasons of my life? I meant to enjoy each day, to remember each funny antic of my darling children, to memorize the golden moments that had made the love in our home so special to my heart.

howMuch of my life was lived at such a pace, however, that I felt like I was always in a hurry to get some place or to complete a task. Perhaps in some ways, I was also trying to prove myself--to justify my decisions, to perform well. 

These overcommitted times turned me into more a drill sergeant  than a loving companion. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration.

I am more aware than ever that life flies by. The most important investment I have made in my life is to seek to love deeply, when I took the time to do so. Learning this took time and a heart to learn to see what really mattered.

Loving my children and husband has required sacrificing my schedule and expectations in order to have time to listen, to be a friend, to share mutual joys and to cry together. Taking time to love well usually requires a simpler life that has the flexibility to cultivate "best friendships" with those are most dear. But, we live with such piles on our shoulders and feel so strongly the "Oughts" and "Must do's" that we work and work and work and exhaust ourselves and miss so much of life.

S-T-R-E-S-S!!!!!!

Statistics show that 88% of mothers feel severely stressed and overcome with anxiety due to poor time management and difficulty prioritizing. In a hectic world that is over-stimulated on our phones, computers, social media, and Starbucks addictions, are we losing sight of what is truly important in the midst of the balancing act? My mind ponders the fact that we were simply not designed to multitask to this extent. We often try so

to juggle one million ideals, and once we drop one of them, we feel defeated.

As mothers and wives, it is absolutely crucial that we learn to breath, relax, and focus in on what should be prioritized. Life is short and ideals are constantly interrupted, so be sure to focus on the most important. The people in our lives should be the priority. Do the priority people in your life (your children, your husband, your friends) feel that you are often distracted by all the things you do? Do they comment on how much they appreciate your ability to give full attention to them or do they complain that you are not listening?

Are you so stressed about making your home squeaky clean that you don't make time for game night or a stroll at sunset? Is your mind so preoccupied with getting back to the kitchen to clean all the dishes that you forget to actually enjoy dinner with your family? Did you fill your day with so many errands and "have-to's" that you ran out of energy to extend a kind word, an affectionate kiss and warm greeting to your husband? Are you so busy noticing the immature antics of your toddler or noisy boy or girl, that you have forgotten to really look at them and see the wonder of their unique personality and heart?

Indeed, we must learn to stop and smell the roses. God even made them smell like perfume, so that besides giving the vibrant reds to please our eyes, he gave them a fragrance that would engage our senses.

Psalm 90:10,12 tells us:

"As for our days, they contain 70 years or if due to strength, 80, but soon it is gone and will fly away. So teach us to number our days that we might present to you a heart of wisdom."

Worst of all, busyness is the neglect of our Father. He is so ready to give peace, to guide us in wisdom through His gentle voice, but if we do not still our souls, we are likely to get into a snit as Martha did. We create our own snits by refusing to take time to be comforted in the presence of our living, loving Father.

We must make time to sit at His feet so we don't get into a huff. If you are too busy, the consequences will be grumpiness, frustration, and missed opportunities.

What is causing you the most stress and depleting your life? What can you do about it?

Being women of wisdom means setting realistic goals so that we don't become drained. When we are constantly operating on a tank of gas that is almost empty, we have little in our hearts from which others may draw. It is so easy to listen to the voices of others and feel the guilt of performing up to other's expectations, instead of committing to the limitations and strengths of our own puzzle of life.

Make a list today of what you can reasonably accomplish and cut out those drainers that are unnecessary. What do you need to cut out? What do you need to add to your life to give your children more of a sense of love, peace and affection? Getting our priorities in order enables us to be better mothers, wives, friends, and women of God.

Today, each of has a choice--will we take time to celebrate the joys that God has provided? the beauty that He wants us to explore? The sweetness of intimacy that comes from investing heart time with those we love.

Take time to experience His pleasure. Remember: "Taste and see that the Lord is good."

The chores and responsibilities will always be there, but the time to invest in the ones we love, will soon be gone.