Coffee at one of my favorite Austrian cafes--always in a china cup, always a little spoon to stir with, always flowers and always a little glass of water to chase it down. Wish there was such a cafe down the street!
Do you ever feel like more people want you and there is more demanded of you than you can possible give? Motherhood is fraught with a gazillion days like that. And today is another one. I am a real feeler--probably the most possible on a Myers Briggs personality test. I want everyone to be happy all the time, no conflict, all rosy.
The real life of a woman in her home is not a Pollyanna place very often. There are issues without, issues within, needs of everyone in my family, and people wanting me to call and people I should call and home tasks that need to be done, and so today, I am easing into Monday--taking deep breath, and figuring out how to manage this life--both public and private--to last long and to plan strategically about what I can reasonably hope to accomplish in the next few months and still be alive.
Today, after 4 days straight of being out of our own beds, again, and picking up the inevitable pieces. So, to keep my own self alive and to give myself a few little pleasures in my day, I am going to:
Have a white chocolate cappacino--just because I want one.
I am going to go for a walk on the trails near our home to expel some adrenalin.
I am going to sneak into my bedroom with doors closed fast and light candles, put on some music and just gaze out the window and sort out what is in my heart.
I am going to skype Sarah as she is such a chum, I will be refreshed to catch up.
And then, of course, I will spend most of my day getting things done--lots of piles of things and take it all at a casual pace instead of breakneck, as it will all still be waiting for me tomorrow, but today, I will give my body some pace to help it last longer.
But I have found over the years, what goes up, must come down.Weekends are always a little more adventuresome and adrenalin draining and so Mondays are that sort of winding down and easing back into real life day. Weekends are off schedule, activities, sweets, church, friends, food--and then it is "getting back to the grind" Mondays.
I think Mondays are days for grace--be kind to yourself. Put beauty into your day. Turn on some music. Kiss a few people and touch them. Dance to music as you wash the dishes.
Get a cup of coffee with an extra shot. Eat at least one square of dark sea salt chocolate almond. Forgive yourself today. If you forgive yourself, you won't be so grumpy and harsh and we all know that harshness creates tension--it doesn't create order.
"Mom, when you feel happy and sing and dance around the house, we all feel like we are on top of the world," said Joel.
Be happy, give your burdens to God. Everyone will be the better for your day. And so I am planning for a grace-filled day, because I know there are lots of demanding days ahead and I am pacing myself--with my heart aimed at joy, rest and whatever I can do to build the peace and harmony my soul longs for and needs. Peace be yours today--the Lord is near.