Capella Star
When the morning stars sang together And all the sons of God shouted for joy? Job 38:7
Some years ago, our family was sharing delectable hamburgers and sizzling steaks outside on the mountain deck of close friends. They had borrowed a high powered telescope from a relative to give all of our children an opportunity to celebrate the night sky on a clear summer's night. Having never had this experience, I had no idea how deeply beguiled my soul would become from viewing the intricate artistry of God amongst the constellations, cast out infinitely amongst the heavens above.
After every child had taken his turn at the amazing telescope and gasped and danced in delight, my children all said, "Mom, you have to see this--this is your star--it is bright blue!" (my favorite color)
As I peered into the scope, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the picture inside the scope, and suddenly, I was confronted by an astonishingly bright blue, dancing star, seemingly sparkling and turning in beauty and celebration of life. I was mesmerized as I had heard all of my life of "twinkling" stars, but had never seen something so clearly beautiful with my own eyes. The telescope had revealed to me what had always been there but what I had never been able to perceive with my own limited powers.
I was deeply changed that night, unexpectedly. Confronted once again with the "bigness" of God, the divine beauty and power beyond my understanding. A realization dawned on me that I can only see circumstances and the steps of my journey from a very limited perspective. Yet, God, my heavenly Father, who is vastly more infinite and wise than my small mind can comprehend, is above all moments and all days.
Often, as a "toddler" I can shake my fist and say, "God, don't you care that I am going under or that you are making my life or marriage or children's lives more difficult than I can imagine?"
And yet, God is not threatened by my tantrums as He has lived through the fist shaking and heart rending prayers of so many generations of children. And because He is a good Father, He does not give in to our demands, knowing that His will is far better for us and that He truly is able to turn all things together for the good for those of us who are called to His purposes and who are willing to wait upon Him to work His ways through us.
Usually serving God requires endless waiting on His timing and His ways. And yet, if we could remember the lesson of capella star--there are things going on that are truer than the present issues and circumstances that we perceive. God is suiting our soul, building our character, stretching our spiritual and mental and emotional muscles to become Holy, to truly be able to reflect Christ back through us to a world so desperately in need of light. If we obediently trust Him and wait for Him and rest in the knowledge that He is good, even though we live in a fallen place, we will live to see His goodness and His blessing abundantly in His time. He redeems all, He restores all, He is the resurrection power.
Yet, all things may not be obvious until we are with Him, in His place in eternity.
Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world." If we are living for satisfaction and glory in this world, we will not find ultimate satisfaction. I wish I had not fought against God so many times in the years of my family's journey. God allowed so much, but He was also there to walk with me through all of the harsh realities of life and in the midst of it, He forged faith and depth and character in the lives of my children that they would otherwise not have had.
When we pray, "God make my children holy!", we must understand that it means their road and ours will be challenging and stretching, as all of our faith muscles will have to be stretched in order for us to become strong. I see that in spite of the ways my mother heart would have over-protected my children, God was having His way and building my children into strong adults. His ways trumped my ways because He heard my prayer to make them strong.
I love this quote by David Adam, from the Edge of Glory:
"He forever goes before us to prepare a place for us. He is on the road we tread. Wherever life is leading us, He has gone before. Perhaps we have no clue about what lies ahead; we know who is ahead of us, so the future is not quite unknown."