SOS

Tuesday afternoon--5 p.m. Hi, all! I need some prayer support. We got to NY and Nate's apartment has fallen through! (Long story of course but all a part of us learning the ropes of NY!) Please pray for God's specific guidance and provision and that we wouldn't waste time . (Many voices and much advise so as to confuse us at this point!) And that it will be affordable and a delight to Nate as I think he will last longer if he has a haven to come home to and not too far  from his classes on the subway! We have been pounding the pavement for 2 days and are quite exhausted. Rent is quite steep. I am also hoping for a believer for a room=mate. Please pray for us in this and I will look forward to telling you what the Lord does. Much appreciation! Onward! Sally

New York, New York!

Good Sunday morning. I am awakening in Montreal this morning and getting ready to go to the airport where I will  fly to NYCity to meet Clay and Nathan  (who flew there on an overnight plane!)  What a great group of women I met here and spent two days with--great hearts and great fellowship. But now I am on my way to the big apple. I have mixed feelings about Nathan moving. Joy told me on the phone he was wrestling with our sweet golden retriever and hugging her a lot yesterday, so I know that it is Nate's way of trying to get as much of home and as much of love into his heart as he can before he leaves! He is so ready to hit the world and to try his wings, but I will miss him--drums and all! Joel left Thursday for Nashville and we had the whole Clarkson gang in our ritual of sending someone off--the early in the morning goodbye with all of us in our pajamas out on the driveway, praying, kissing, hugging and waving. And now Nate. Joel  is already busy with friends and loves being in his new little house with roomates. He even served at a private dinner party on Saturday night (last night)  and earned 75 dollars, so he is off to a good start and feeling oh so good about life. (Mom, there is even a recliner in my room!--oh the good little things of life that bring joy!)

I will be in New York for  8 days. Please pray for us and for him as we settle him in. Pray God will give Nate a godly friend and that he will even be able to find a job and that God will give him favor with the agents and contacts he has. Pray that I will be a good mommy and send him off with grace! (Don't know that in New York we can stand outside doing the Clarkson ritual!)

I am also going to spend 2 days with my sweet Clay--finally getting a little trip in to celebrate our 25th anniversary--a couple of years late! Life just hasn't allowed it, but I am so excited to be with him alone for a couple of days celebrating our 27th! He has some surprises and I know one or two Broadway shows will be contained in this week, a nice dinner somewhere and lots of time to remember and ponder the years. (The last week we came to NYC to celebrate our twentieth was 9/11 so we are hoping to have a much calmer week!) The girls will be holding down the fort and having a glorious time alone with lots of plans of resting doing girl things.

I will probably not be writing this week, but somehow needed to know that I would have the prayers of friends coming my way during this week. Oh, the flurry of emotions, but God is good so I am in good hands and off to lug my bags to the airport one more time. Au revoir!

Too many choices--replaced by love

Last night, around 7:30, I was sitting in a chair by my window up in my second story bedroom. Our home sits up on a hill that is about 7500 feet high, and we look out over tall Colorado pines with the mountains not too far in the distance. As I sat amidst the peace of my darkening room, I looked out on the horizon and across the sky, once again, the Lord had painted the most vibrant sky--luminous, "screaming pink"--(the color of shirts my mother used to love to buy for me!)--seemed to be dancing across the sky for those who would see it! Then fading into hews of orange and finally darkness. I was reminded again how present God is in all of our moments yet wondering how many people in my little town took the time to notice Him and His art. I was pondering some of the dilemmas of modern, Christian life---way too many choices. Choices scream at us and block out the simplicity of Christ and His love and His voice. We live in a time of so many voices that represent so many choices--republican, democrat, independent; theologies--charismatic, reformed, catholic, baptist, emergent church, Bible church; public, private and homeschool; whole book, curriculum, or classical; pro-Shack people (referring to the book)--anti-shack people; is it acceptable to watch the dark knight or it is sinful --good imagery or poor imagery--dating or not-dating; what movies are acceptable; universalism or  limited atonement; whole foods or MacDonalds,  soccer or piano lessons; t.v. or no media at all; infiltrate culture or draw back and seclude, spanking or grace-based parenting; and on and on and on. And then there is the busy-ness associated with getting it all right and reading all the blogs and books and reviews and making all the choices--frenetic that we might make the wrong choice--yet confused in the midst. There is such a pressure to be involved in all that is relevant and the pressures of our modern Christian culture cultivates insecurity and fear and isolation. Lots of head focus, not so much heart.

So much wrangling over words and so much judgment and pride and finger pointing--what is the right way to believe? So many who are involved in these issues have a heart that desires to find what is best and to do what is right. Who is the right authority? Such choice overload obscures the simplicity and presence of God.Satan can use the frantic searching and frenzy to obscure what is essential--loving God and knowing Him. So many I talk to long to be close to Him, but find Him illusive. No wonder there exists so much shallowness in our culture--we are seeking so hard after the answers and He wants us to seek Him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am orthodox in my beliefs and trust in Jesus for my salvation and am so very grateful for this. I have a strong foundation of ideals for my home and children. But the older I get and the more countries I have seen and the more people I have worked with, the more I see that it is the heart--where love and faith and beauty and humility exist where the life of Christ flourishes. It is in Him and His presence that I find peace that transcends "getting it all right."  I have learned that God is much bigger than I originally thought and that He understands and has compassion for many outside the comfort zone of my own ideals and beliefs and values and that I would be wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak and even slower to judge. His purposes and ways transcend time, history and cultures and I would be wise to focus on Him above all else.

I find rest when I ponder the One who took small children into His arms to bless them; who gently and lovingly washed the disciple's feet, who threw the vibrant colors into the sky for me to enjoy last night. Jesus, came in simplicity--not a man of titles or authority--but the authority that comes from within.

I ponder His messages--admonishing us to give cups of cold water; taking care of our enemies as did the good Samaritan; parenting in such a way as to have the heart of the father looking every day for his prodigal son to return; encouraging us to be like the gentle, humble Mary who chose the "good part"--to sit at his feet and rest in his love and be filled with the life of His words--not being like Martha who was "worried about so many things."

It seems His priorities were for us to be anchored in character and deeds of goodness and kindness--the simplicity of being a good neighbor, giving grace and forgiving as we have been forgiven--making bridges of peace--not walls of separation.

Often, with the media and so many "experts"--(everyone is an expert if given the opportunity to blog!)--I see people laden down with the voices that seek attention in their heads--seems that with all the conflicting messages and so much media in our face, pleasing and finding God can be complicated, confusing and overwhelming and impersonal--more about knowledge than personal in an intimate relationship. Wouldn't Satan just love for us to confused and insecure--since God so clearly wants us to be secure and stable in the knowledge of His love, His calling and His grace.

Jesus had great scorn and condemnation for the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and lay them on men's shoulders," --those who were so dedicated to defining every jot and tittle of the law. Just this morning, I was reading in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel."

Then I read in John 14 and 15, some of the last chapters recorded of Jesus's personal messages to his disciples. His desire and heart to comfort and encourage his precious disciples is so evident throughout these chapters.  "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled or let it be fearful."

He comes not to give as the world gives to us--but peace--restful, filling, assuring peace--that keeps us from being troubled or fearful.

There is so much more. But, the God who told us the most important commandments were to love Him and love others, is the gentle shepherd who will not judge us today if we get all the answers and choices right, but if we abide in Him, love Him, rest in Him and walk in the abundance and security of His love for us and His redeeming love for those needy in our lives who need not just answers and words, but love, forgiveness, healing and peace.

Lord, let me today and every day, abide in you, see you, rest against you--"not being concerned with things too difficult for me, but composed, like a weaned child rests against his mother, so will my soul be within me." (Psalm 131)

Fussing Part II

The other day, after we had a great breakfast on family day, we talked about the plans for the rest of the day, in case we needed to take 2 cars to the mountains because of schedule issues with my older kids. When it looked like Joel would have to take a separate car, two of the kids said, "It wouldn't be as much of a tradition if we didn't all cram together in the van---we wouldn't have a chance to fuss about the music in the car on the way up!" As with any other special day like our "family day" not all of our moments are perfect. The kids had always fussed about something in the car on the way up! Fussing or quarreling is a regular part of life. It is the source of all wars in the Bible, the Israelites complained when God was taking them to the promised land; David, the righteous had all sorts of contention in his home---his wives, officers, children and enemies. Even in the New Testament, Paul and Peter--two of the most revered leaders of the early Christian movement--argued and fussed.

All that to say, it is something all mothers deal with and will continue to deal with--but it is not a picture of your success or failure as a mom. I think if I had just accepted it as a part of life, I wouldn't have gotten so upset about the regularity of it --as it does drive me crazy and by personality, I do not like conflict. But because it is a part of our sin nature, we have to recognize it as a symptom of our separation from God--but not something that your children intentionally do to drive you crazy! Really--they haven't converged together to make you go insane.

I can say that my children have become so much more mature over the years. They have learned to be more patient and less selfish, to be peace-making, to be forgiving, to serve one another, to encourage and cheer each other on. Yet, there is still the tension of 6 sinful people with a variety of personalities living in our home and so we still have conflict from time to time--and yet we have learned how to resolve it. But  getting better is a matter of training and practicing what is right until it becomes the standard that guides us in our relationships.

1. Training--Children need to be trained to love and to be mature. I often told my children that God said, "How good and how pleasant it is for brothers (and sisters!) to dwell together in unity." Also, Jesus and John said that others would know we were Jesus's disciples by our love for one another. And of course, we read I Corinthians 13 and talked about it over and over again. So, love and graciousness was the goal of our relationship training. Clay and I talked about our values as a family and he wrote a devotional to use with our children so that they would clearly understand our standards. (You can see The 24 Family Ways devotional at www.wholeheart.org)

2. Instruction A special part of training is education--instruction. So, we made our goals for our children's behavior obvious by teaching then godly principles of relationships over and over and over again.In relationships, one of our 24 family ways was, "We treat one another with kindness, gentleness and respect." So we repeated this value daily every day out-loud for a week. We would read scripture each day that correlated with that value. I helped the kids memorize verses in light of these goals. Some of our favorites were, "Love covers a multitude of sin." "It is to a man's honor to overlook a sin."(encouraging my children to overlook the faults and offenses of their siblings. "A gentle answer turns away wrath."  (choosing to answer with a gentle voice instead of  accusing or attacking--a choice of the will in obedience to the Lord.) "Where there are many words, conflict is unavoidable."  (Stop fighting before it gets bad.) "As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men." "Do not let any unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is good for the moment, that it may give grace to the hearer." (What what you said kind? How should you have said it differently?) And so on.

3. Follow through and correction When my children would quarrel, I would say, "What is our 24 Family way about how we treat each other?" Then they would repeat what they had learned, and say our memory verse. I would then say, "How should you have said that differently to your brother? Do you need to ask forgiveness?" Sometimes I would make the child, (if they were old enough) write a paragraph or several paragraphs about a passage in the Bible about what it meant to show love or patience or what it meant to have a mature relationship.

So, it was a process day in and day out. Just like maturity in marriage--you have to learn to understand your spouse and accept his limitations and to give grace instead of retaliation. As it takes us a long time to exhibit unconditional love, so it takes our children practice and time to mature. They need the same kind of encouragement to succeed as we do to keep going in marriage. They need to know you love them and we need to notice when they are improving.

But so often, I see parents reacting to children and yelling at them when the child doesn't even know what they did wrong. (Often showing off, being exhausted, overstimulated, hungry, hormonal, a boy! or in a new situation or 1000 other issues need to be considered, in other words we have to be perceptive psychologists! ) Telling the the goal of relationships through instruction and memory verses gives them a map to follow and pathway over which to move forward.  (Children need to know what the standard is before they can obey it.) Second, training, training, training--Taking time to  stop bad behavior and then making them redo the relationship in the right way--making them ask for forgiveness or use kinder words to communicate a request or do something nice for the other one (making a card or bringing a sibling a cup of hot chocolate and serving them if they had really been selfish, etc.) And almost always, praying together to bring about unity.

I think it is always important to take into account many factors. Personality for instance. Extroverts are going to be louder and more boisterous and should not be punished for being that way. Introverts can be whiny if they don't have enough time alone. Toddlers are just immature and often just need sleep or to be separated and can't be expected to be mature. (though they do need to be gently trained, for instance, grab their hands if they hit someone and say, "Hands must always be used for loving and gentleness--rubbing their hands gently on your cheek or arm--never, never for hitting!" Yelling at them will not help them to be more mature.)

Children who are adhd or who have autism or other such issues, must be treated with great patience and an awareness that they honestly cannot live like a normal person. I wish I had known this earlier as one of my children had issues beyond his control. I can see now that knowing that this whole process of training. loving disiciplining, and teaching is a long process--train up your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. But now I see the results--children who are emotionally mature, who can show love and serve others and be patient. It is such important work. It takes many years and lots of forbearance--but it is what will help your children ultimately flourish in life---in work relationships, marriage, family, and friendship and in church. Relationship training will set one person way ahead of the rest.

However, mamas sometimes need a break or some time alone. Children are taxing at times and moms blow their stacks. But, rest, fun and a wet loving kiss from a sweet child can blow away the clouds in a second. Some days, we all just need a break--give yourself grace and relieve the tension  by going out to a park or doing something fun--but don't give up--a trained adult is such an evidence of a great mom. I have had many ups and downs over the years in this area and yet kept focusing on His love and forgiveness--asking my children for forgiveness  when it was appropriate, taking the chance to love then lavishly and keeping going.  As my son Joel once said to me, "Mom, just lighten up--it is just the life and adventure of being a family!"May God give you grace and give me grace to keep loving!

Off to make dinner!

Family Day, August 2008

Every year in August around the time of our anniversary, we celebrate a family day. We arise to cinnamon rolls, cheese eggs and spend the morning together remembering the ways we have seen God's hand work in our lives over the previous year. Every year, we come up with more reflections of His faithfulness than I thought we would have and it helps us to write the story of the Clarksons year by year--giving us a heritage to pass on of God's faithfulness! Then we drive up to Mueller state park for a picnic of once a year home-fried chicken, baked beans, deviled eggs, fruit, Texas sheet cake and have fun.

Each year we have to take a family picture. Over the years, we have hiked, giggled, fed the birds, run through the hills and trails--and always 1000 pictures. First is the big family picture. Then we take lots of other pictures fun, wild, silly and so on, and of course since I think this might be our last family day when we are all together, I insisted on a lot of pictures. Here are a few!

All the kids being serious.

silliness.

Boys being boys--at 6'3 and 6'5, they are no longer my little boys! Nate, 19; Joel, almost 22!

The girls--Joy, 13, Sarah, 24 and Sally--ancient!

Running through the fields.

The Mama and Papa.

Fussing, fussing, fussing! and how to tame it!

Hi, Dear Friends,I have been so blessed to receive all of your comments and letters lately. Thanks so much for taking the time as it really encouraged me a lot. It has been a very busy week with lots of exciting possibilities and there are a few more days of busy-ness, so this will not be as long as I would like! Hate to say this, as it seems to plague us from time to time--someone installed a new software on my computer and 2400 letters in my inbox disappeared as well as the fact that for some reason for 2 days I have been able to receive mail but not send it--so the last week of my mail has been stressed. So know that I love hearing from all of you but have an even harder time responding. I have moved a lot of my email to momheart@gmail.com as I can receive and send from there but now Sally@wholeheart.org is working again, too. Never a dull moment.

A couple of weeks ago, Clay and I had a few friends over from our Bible study and picked their brains about ministry ideas and subjects to address. One at the top of the list was siblings fussing! So I will attempt to make a stab at some of my ideas about this area today. There is so much to address, so I will just start with some basics.

I will probably address the issue of fussing in regards to children in the next blog. But, I have been thinking about this issue and praying about it and doing some study in my Bible. Fussing comes from a heart issue--it has at its root the basis of all sin--selfishness and self-centeredness. The attitude behind all quarrels and contention says, "I want my way. I deserve to be the center of attention. I need to have all of my wishes and desires met and everyone else is wrong when they violate my needs and desires."

However, another spiritual contention comes from pride--I know more than you--my religious philosophy is doctrinally more correct than yours, my educational philosophy is better than yours, I am less bad than you or I am better than you and so on. Pride is also at the root of contention.

Fussing is at the root of divorce, family separations, church splits, sibling rivalry, and any kind of contention that separates people. This plague of selfishness is running rampant in America today as we see  promiscuity--which basically says, "I want my pleasure when I want it, but I don't have to take in consideration anyone else--gratification is more important than love and commitment." It also is an attitude that communicates, "If you aren't going to be mature and fulfill my needs then I have the right to move on to other relationships until I find someone else who can fulfill my needs."

I have always told my children that it is natural to be selfish, defensive, argumentative, full of pride, but it is supernatural to be mature, loving and patient, humble. Jesus disciplines us that we might conform to His image. He is the model for unconditional love, patience, self-sacrifice, forgiveness, encouragement, humility. He of all people chose to separate Himself from the grandeur of God to become one of the lowly, humble, poor humans of this earth. If He so chose in order to really show us what righteousness looked like, then we should ponder His simple, sacrificial, uncomplaining life in order to really take on His character and love.

Choosing to be an instrument of love requires us to obey His word and His will and to make a choice to be peacemakers and life-givers. Maturity is a process of practicing obedience and choosing love while also knowing that it is the Holy Spirit who lives in us, to work out His good pleasure and holiness through us.

Jesus is our model and yet even Jesus showed us that maturity and righteousness was a process of choosing to do the right thing--obedience--choice of our will--not paying attention to what he felt, but doing what he knew was right--this is the essence of the love and patience we need to teach our children and that we also need to obey.

Hebrews 5:8, in talking about Jesus' example while on the earth, says,"though He was a Son, (of God), yet he learned obedience by the things he suffered." Jesus learned obedience by submitting His will to the Father. (by practicing doing what was right--learning obedience)

So, all true love and goodness comes from obeying God and doing the right thing for His sake. When our hearts and the hearts of our children understand this, then we will have the right reason to choose not to be contentious and selfish. Loving God and therefore choosing to be loving to unloving spouses, patient with unlovely toddlers or teens, forgiving in church situations when we have the right to be offended, are all for the love of our Lord who was perfectly loving, patient and kind as the servant leader.

If we are contentious to others, or constantly critical of friends or people in our own life, how can we expect our children to "catch" the spirit of love. If we complain and whine and cry as a habitual response to life, how can our children understand the strength and grace of the unconditional love of Christ lived through us. If we tell our children to quit complaining or whining of arguing and then proceed to complain against our in-laws or husband or arguing with others, then we are not establishing a foundation for them to stand upon.  If we are angry and impatient, it will create scars but also  deform them in the ability to move beyond fussing to become healthy adults who can bring grace to relationships.

Eventually young children grow up and will see through hypocrisy. We don't have to be perfect--but we have to be humble and ask for forgiveness. We must seek to have integrity. Trying to tell our children they have to obey us and lording it over them in harshness will only suffice for a short few years. They will mature and see through the words to the heart and actions and will not follow inconsistencies. I do think parenting is the way God humbles and trains us in righteousness because it requires our best in order to be the best parents we can be.

I have had friends over the years who know a lot of scripture and read a lot of books and put forth a righteous front, but who are critical behind people's backs or talk in judgment about people and in pious self-righteousness, convinced that they are justified, feel no conviction for their sin.

However,Jesus, while being reviled, did not revile in return, but kept trusting himself to God.Wherever Jesus is there is peace,  gentleness, humility and grace--except for the Pharisees and religious people or the exceedingly, intentionally wicked.

Though as  moms, we tend to be so irritated at the quarreling and immature fussing of our children, it is no more attractive in adults. If we don't address the general selfishness of all of our culture, then we will not be able to address the issues in our own home. So, I have been convicted over the years, that the first place of creating a peaceful environment in my home must start with me. I am responsible to God to seek to love and serve others because of His love for me.

I will continue writing about this next week as the Lord has taught me so much as I have pondered it all, but now I am off to celebrate our Family Day this weekend--our once a year holiday to celebrate and discuss the faithful hand of God in our lives. Since my two boys are both moving away from home in the next two weeks, we wanted to have one last family day together before we all parted to the four winds.

I am looking forward to speaking in Montreal August 22-23 and preparing to see many of you soon. Then I will be in New York City for 8 days with Clay to help Nathan settle in and to celebrate our 28th anniversary! Have a great weekend!

AMTCworld.com

For all of you who have asked for more information, this is for you and your friends who dream about the  motion picture, singer's, modeling and performer's industry--and besides that Nathan would love to have you see his video! Watch Nate perform his winning song here! Nathan Clarkson At AMTC  (He would love  to hear from you at Nathan@wholeheart.org) So many moms have children with dreams of getting into the television industry or into movies or modeling. But if you are like me, you are skeptical and wonder if there are really any places in this arena to find Christians or an arena with any kind of strong, moral codes! Well, I have been surprised and want to pass on  what I found in case the Lord is directing any of you or yours to enter this arena!

What fun to watch dreams come true! My sweet, out of the box child, Nathan, is stretching me again this week as we prepare him to move to New York--nothing tame for him! And more opportunities for me to be on my knees! So many of you who have known us over the years have watched our children grow up. When Sarah and Joel were taking normal piano lessons and moving ahead in the classical arena, the lessons didn't fit Nate. But over the years we could see that he was great at performing and speaking and entertaining. He was a magician for birthday parties, did some big stage illusion in front of big crowds and then formed a small band with some of his friends--he had countless kids into our home for food, to share our family's love and especially he had a heart to enter into the lives of many broken kids to tell them about his hope in Christ. He would also write songs that expressed the feeling of the heart of so many of these precious friends! And yet through all these years, he remained faithful to our own family's call to love and serve Christ--but it took me to many  arenas  outside of my comfort zone!

He began to pray and dream about God opening doors for him in the music, acting, tv and movie industry. We prayed with him, but honestly, I didn't know a thing about entering the world of contemporary music or Hollywood and New York and wasn't sure that is where I wanted this child. Fast forward to this spring when 2 of my friends called me a total of 7 times to tell me about an organization they heard about on the Christian radio station that was trying to help Christians get into this industry. Finally, since my friends kept bugging me, (Sally, you know you and Clay and Nathan have been praying for God to open doors for him--you need to follow through!)

Reluctantly in the midst of a busy schedule, I had Nate and Joy attend the talent search. Both were accepted to become candidates for this conference, but because of Joy's age and our limited finances, we decided to give Nate  and his dreams a chance. To make a long story short, after much prayer and consideration, we decided to take Nathan to Orlando to the Actor's, Model's and Talent competition. What a great decision that was for us!

To my surprise, because I didn't know of anything in the industry that would be moral or Christian, this was an excellent conference in every way for us. We attended many seminars that really helped to inform us about  many issues in the industry, Nate competed and received great input from many professionals. He made it into the showcase talent show where 40 would have an opportunity to perform for 2 minutes.  This meant he had an extra opportunity to sing in front of around 90 top agents and talent scouts from many different agencies. (Universal Studios, Capital Records, New York Film academy and many more.) The result was that he was called back to meet a number of agencies and people who will be strategic in representing him, helping him develop a plan for his career, received a $5000 scholarship to the school he was hoping to attend and met wonderful people.

I didn't realize there were so many strong Christians in this arena. We met wonderful people in a very strong family environment. Because the conference wanted to emphasize modesty and true talent, simple t-shirts and jeans were the dress code of the day--no immodest clothing allowed. No drinking and smoking allowed! I recently had dinner with the founder and director of the conference and was so touched by her heart to help Christians find a bridge into the industry. Though she has received flack and pressure to not limit  it to being  a Christian conference, she is holding her ground and praying about how to become even more effective in creating an environment in which Christians may develop their talent and have a way to enter the market place of performing.

I know that the Lord must have a plan for using committed Christians to bring His light and messages to this arena. It is not for the weak of heart, but I prepared my children to go into the world to bring God's love and redemption, and now I have to trust Him to lead and protect them!

So for many of you who have asked me about it, I wanted to put you into contact with AMTCworld.com where you can find out more about this great organization. I know that there are many of you who are serious about entering this arena or who have children who are driven to this arena. Tell them that Nathan or Sally Clarkson sent  you and I know they will help answer your questions and be  glad to hear from you. I might even speak at the next one to help encourage the parents who attend  to enrich the souls of their children in order to give them messages that will last for eternity. How great it would be if a whole army of godly, talented people would enter this industry and bring light, beauty, truth and moral excellence!

This saved us  what could have been years and thousands of dollars if we had just sent Nate to New York or LA and had him attempt to enter the industry without being really informed. In one week, he  went from having  no contacts or personal relationships to having a whole field of people to meet, to help him and to help open doors. He now has a possibility of a great new discipleship group, two great church artists groups, several Christian leaders he will be meeting with, as well as great support and encouragement from our local agent who provided him with 25 hours of training before attending the seminar. She is precious and has become a real friend. It is still a challenging arena to enter, and all preparation and caution needs to be observed, but what I found out is that there are many believers hoping to make a real impact for Christ.So, by faith, we will support and encourage and pray for our own who will be entering this new area in just a few weeks. If you would pray for Nate, I would so appreciate it. If you want to write him a word of encouragement, please send him a note at Nathan@wholeheart.org

Not every child who thinks about becoming an actor or musician will be successful or even ever have the opportunity to actually work in the industry. But if you are serious about this arena,  the AMTC conference is  a great place to test the waters and to see what doors will open. Children from 3 years old all the way to 80 competed in modeling, acting, and singing. What a great group of people. Just wanted anyone who wanted a safe environment in which to explore the professional side of the performance industry to know that it was a blessing to us! You can contact them at AMTCworld.com or call them at: 1-800-STAR-420 or 678-783-0500 (There will be a Colorado Springs opportunity to try out on September 6!)

Now, in the next couple of days, I will return to another subject my friends asked me to write about--fussing!

Pursuing God on my birthday!

Heartfelt greetings to all of you precious women who mean so much to me! Your well wishes and prayers and comments and emails have bolstered me and I am truly grateful for your encouragement. I have lots of thoughts I have been pondering and articles I have written in my mind while in the shower or driving in the car, but they will have to be for another day! Today is my 55th birthday! An auspicious birthday for me! I awakened this morning to cool breezes coming in my windows as I awakened and I lay in bed pondering my life. I am probably way over half-way through the time I will walk on this earth. I don't know how many more years God will grant here for me to please Him, but if I wasn't serious about it before, I want to be now.

I was with a sweet friend the other day in a small group of women that I meet with twice a month. She is a dedicated, idealistic, committed young woman. Yet, through her tears, she admitted, "I don't really feel that I have grasped and understand what it means to be intimate with God. I read the Bible and I pray, but I don't always feel comfortable that I have attained my goal. I don't always feel the love of God to be real."

Not too long before that, Sarah and another friend and I were in a prayer meeting with some older leaders at our church. A very sweet, godly man, said to us, "You know, I have walked over 60 years with God, but sometimes I don't feel close to Him at all, and sometimes He seems right next to me. But one thing I know, He is always there and He is always good, even when I don't feel close to Him."

Paul said, "we see in a mirror dimly, but then we will see face to face." I think the older I get the more I see how different God is than me or than I thought and yet how much bigger and more wonderful He is. Yet, With all the clamor of this world and busy-ness and promise of fulfillment through possessions, experiences, status and longing for more, more of life, we, (I), can spin my wheels on things that don't matter and that won't fulfill. Sometimes these things and my own Martha-ing around in life, hide the very presence that is surrounding me every day.

On occasion, I am a toddler in my behavior  and don't know or understand what is going on and my heavenly Father keeps faithful, strong and true and responsible for me, even when I don't understand--even when in my immaturity, I throw a fit or two. But He is still there--always loving--always acting in faithfulness.  I learn from God as my Father by parenting my own children. I have seen each of my children go through phases of life and always seeing things from their own perspective--sometimes loving Clay and me and sometimes feeling a bit distant from us wondering at our parenting and decisions we make for them. But in the end, they grow up and come to understand us as parents. It is amazing to me how wise we have become in the eyes of our older kids. But we were just faithful in season and so is God in my life--He is wise, steady in season and out.

So, I have resolved--again, this morning, that I want to keep trying to simplify, to focus, to hold on to that which really matters--my Lord and my God. I am going back to the basics--"The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge," Proverbs 7:1

Jesus said it even more plainly, "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." John 17:3--this said soon before he was to be crucified. A very simple statement--to know the eternal God and Jesus Christ.

Jesus' life was simple--no things (big house, car or chariot!)  or position or striving--only a simple man who loved and served and trusted His beloved Father. I am a pilgrim in this journey, and I certainly don't have the all the answers yet, but I want to keep trying to get it right--putting aside the distractions but delighting in the "lilies of the field", entering into the joy of my children's laughter and antics, enjoying the delicious blueberry coffeecake I can smell that my daughter is baking downstairs, basking in the "I love you, Mom, birthday cards and whimsical gifts my children have sacrificed to buy for me, taking time to notice and enjoy the pink sunset that God painted across the sky again, loving those He brings my way,  celebrating life and seeking to know and love and glory in the God, the master artist, who so deserves my attention, allegiance and my heart.

So thank you, Jesus, that you have let me know you and love you and walk with you during these short years of my life. Let me know you and love you more fully every day until I see you face to face.

A Very Blue Tuesday!

Tuesday morning, I awakened at 3:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I finally got up and listed all the areas of worry that were on my mind. I have tried to make it a habit to reject thoughts of worry, fear and discouragement. One of the ways I have dealt with these thoughts is by remembering scripture, thanking and praising the Lord for what He is and what He has provided. So I spent quite a while acknowledging His love and light and beauty and different passages that had spoken to my heart. Then I listed out to Him all the areas that were worrying me! By morning time, as everyone began to awaken, I was at least back to neutral. But, first thing off the bat, as I had made Joy a piece of peanut butter toast to eat in the car on the way to a half-day computer camp, I spilled her drink all over my lap and started off in the car wet. Then on the way down the freeway, after I had picked up her friend, I was pulled over by a policewoman. My adrenalin shot up! Seems she was stopping people and asking them why they weren't getting over in the left lane if there was a policeman on the side of the road. I asked her if she had seen the truck with trailer just left of me. She said she had, but thought maybe I would have had time to get safely over in the left lane. "I guess you didn't have time. But is your insurance current?" "Yes, I said, as I showed her all the cards. (thanks to Clay who is organized!) Well, let me check your record. (So we waited while she checked on my record as the minutes clicked off!) "Well, I guess you are clean. You can go."

Came back home and had a looooonnnnnng conversation with Clay before he left for work. He was feeling quite down about all the things I was worried about. When my husband is down and I try to lift him up, it can tempt me to feel quite down as I love him and feel responsible for his well-being.  (Finding an apartment for Nate in NYCity that he can afford, should we send him there? What about his loan? Will he be able to pay it off? What about Joel? Will he be able to find a job and room mate? Should he move to Nashville or work and complete his degree at home or go to school in Boston? What about all the finances in that? What about all the financial issues facing us? House, cars, medical? printing and publishing and staff? The impending medical issues for a couple of family members? The bad economy--will Whole Heart go under if women quit coming to our conferences? If supporters quit believing in our ministry? How will we help our college age kids who are struggling so hard? What about Mom--will she have to move to a nursing home against her will with her increasing health problems?

The next chain of thoughts after Clay went to the office was something like this, "I am so tired. Everyone takes from me--my children, my husband, the women I minister to, my staff, my friends. But, I never have a break. Lord, do you even care that I have been faithful all these years? What about all the hours and hours I have prayed? Am I invisible to you? I need to see you do something today to show me that you are real and that you still care. And so on!"

I call this the Elijah syndrome. I, alone, am faithful! Well, sometimes it does seem as if us moms are carrying the world on our shoulders. And I am convinced I have had much more on my shoulders than most other people! (It is how we feel--baby years there is pregnancy, ear infections, behavioral issues, learning to give up all of your rights, housework, too much to be done, not finding other believers that have our values, isolation--and then the universal areas that plague us through all seasons--finances, loneliness, marital stress and strain, moving, husband's jobs, problems at church, depression and so on.)

I think, in general, American culture sells us a bill of goods--if you just have the right things, or right home, or good figure or exercise program, or find the right school or right homeschooling resources, or if my husband or children would just change, then I would be happy and then I could deal with my life. The commercials and magazines promise easy solutions.

But in reality, we are in a war. Jesus said, "In this world, you have tribulation. In this world you will be persecuted. Lay up treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal." None of what he said promised a panacea in this world. So, after I had some good cries and felt the depth of my discouragement fully, yesterday, I remembered some things that have really helped. 1. Satan is a father of lies and he whispers false thoughts about God and causes us to doubt God's goodness. In John 8:44, Jesus says to the Pharisees, "You are of your father, the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father, who was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks, he speaks from  his own nature; for he is a liar and the father of lies!"

I Peter 5:8 tells us that we are to "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

In Genesis, the very first time we see temptation from Satan to Adam and Eve, Satan casts a shadow of doubt over God's goodness. "Indeed has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree in the garden.'?" Then he proceeds to lie, "You shall surely not die. For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Satan wants us to think  we cannot trust or believe in God because of all the difficult things that are happening in our lives. He also tempted Job that way. So we must know that much of our emotional battle as women is to fight against the feelings and thoughts that tempt us to think badly about God and His provision. He tempted Jesus and Peter, he will tempt us.

2. Satan particularly hates moms who are raising godly children. Revelation 12: 12 tells us, "Woe to the earth and the sea, because  the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time." Great wrath!  But in verse 17, it goes on to say, "And the dragon (Satan) was enraged with the woman, and went off to make war with the rest of her offspring, who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimonies." Satan is making war with the offspring--our children--especially those who keep the commandments of God!

3. Realistically recognizing that there is a battle every day and understanding the implications in our life. I am so engulfed with the details of daily life, that I forget that I am changing eternity by bringing God's excellence and character and truth to bear every minute of every day when I display His attributes--even in the small ways I relate to them and keep my home a life-giving place as well as the attitudes I have about work and my husband and life and challenges! But Paul, who loved and served God so very passionately, warns us:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual fores of wickedness in the heavenly places. therefore, take up the full aror of God that you may be able to resist in the evil day and having done everything to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; and in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. And take the Helmet of Salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God."

I find that it is in my heart, my thoughts where I am either totally defeated or strengthened. I need to hold up the shield of faith--God will provide, I believe He will take care of me, living by fear cannot exist with faith. I have His favor and understanding and He will provide my needs in His time. God is faithful. I pledge my allegiance today to him.

Interestingly, Peter said pretty much the same thing that Paul said, and we know both of them had very challenging lives. He says, "But resist him, (satan), firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren throughout the world."

All of us are experiencing the same kinds of trials. Many sweet moms are struggling against the work load, the fusses, the loneliness, the pressures, the piles and the emotions. But those of us who push through, stand strong in faith, resist temptation and negative, dark thoughts, are joining with the over-comers--those sweet believers whose lives will bring great glory to God when we see Him face to face.

So, today, I am approaching all the same pressures, but today, I am putting up my shield of faith and letting God carry my issues. What I practice, I will become. If I practice faith, I will become more a person of strong faith. If I practice negativity and doubt, I will become depressed as I quench the Spirit. Sometimes it is moment by moment, but already I am moving toward a place of His peace where He lives. May he give His sweet grace and an abundance of His gracious love to all of you today!

I would so appreciate your prayers for Clay and me as we move into strategic meetings, relationships, decisions and circumstances that God's wisdom and ways would prevail. Thanks so very much.

I have already prayed for you who will read these words. You are indeed precious to Him and your work is noticed and oh so important! Bless you!

just a few things

Hi, Sweet friends!I am so frustrated because I usually write back (on email) every one who comments on my blog. However, when I have tried to send them to my email from the wholeheart box they come to, I am only getting about one out of every five! So, though I really love it when people comment because it helps me to know there are people out in cyberspace, I can't seem to make it work. So I might eventually go back to my old address but I will let all of you know what I decide.

I am currently working on a book right now that address the idea of cultivating a heat of joy in a disappointing world. Also, hard at work on some exciting projects for Whole Heart Ministries. Clay and I really feel that moms are the key to building a righteous generation, but so many sweet moms haven't been trained for their role, lack the philosophy to carry them through, don't have a deep understanding of scripture and have few support systems or accountability. Clay came up with an idea that will encompass a whole new ministry outreach. We are praying together about how to create a sense of spiritual movement amongst moms all over the world committed to raising a godly generation.

So we are seeking to develop a new ministry that would be an international network of moms developing small groups to gather around the word together--to keep each other encouraged and to help support this difficult but important calling! I am convinced that those women and families who are alone and isolated without friends to speak encouragement in their lives are much more vulnerable to spiritual discouragement and loneliness. We are developing a leadership group who will give input, articles, speak and train at future conferences. We are also developing small group Bible studies for all of our current mom's books as well as seeking to develop some new Bible Studies that moms can use in their homes for daily encouragement.

We hope to develop a web site soon and maybe even begin putting up messages--audio and video--that we hope will give moms a place to come to receive regular encouragement and input. We would so appreciate any of your thoughts and input on these areas. We are hoping to begin raising the funding for staff and new Bible study materials and guides and projects. it is too big for us to do alone with all of our  other commitments,  and so we are praying that the Lord will raise up others  who can help us in our newest vision for ministry. If you would like to receive our email newsletter about all that is happening and all that we are doing, please subscribe to our newsletter list at admin@wholeheart.org as we will be sending out more information to those on our newsletter list very soon. It is exciting to see the Lord opening many doors as we move ahead. We would love to see many of you become a part of our network!

I would appreciate your prayers in regard to all of this. Also, if any of you would like to be a part of such a network, please email admin@wholeheart.org and you will be put on a list to receive notification of conferences, possible news letters, events and small groups in your area as we become more organized, and other happenings to tie you into all that we hope to see the Lord doing. Also, if you desire to be a leader of a small group and would be interested in more information on how we can help you be successful in creating an environment in which the Lord will work for a small group of women in your life, please email me (Sally@wholeheart.org or admin@wholeheart.org).

I am so excited to see what the Lord is doing. He is raising up others nationally who are becoming a part of the leadership and  helping us to invest in the writing of  some of our materials.   But for now, I need to keep working on my book, support Joy in her role as the mother duck in Honk, a Broadway musical being performed with our local drama group about the Ugly Duckling, send Sarah off to Nashville for a week as she goes to visit a dear friend and drive Joel home from Masterworks and seek a reasonable loan for Nate with his new school this fall. I am very thankful for all that the Lord is doing in our lives. He has blessed us so much and I thank Him for His faithfulness. I am also thankful for so many of you, my friends, who help keep us going!

Have a wonderful week! Blessings! Sally Sally@wholeheart.org