What I am doing in the whirl of life

Sweet Friends,I miss being in touch with you. But at this moment my heart is full of joy and satisfaction. I see the goodness of the Lord and His faithfulness as I reflect on my life. I had so much fun last weekend. I was in Nashville with some friends that started a coop for moms with me 18 years ago. I taught passionately, at that time, that if a mom stayed centered in her walk with the Lord and loved Him in front of her children, that she would be fruitful and productive in everything she did. And I was convinced that all moms needed a support group of some kind--kindred spirits to pray with, to hold hands with, to giggle and have fun and cry with and who would keep each other focussed on the Lord and His ideals.

It was such an encouragement to me to see how faithful these friends had been to keep the small group system going in the Nashville area for all those years. They have kept the faith, loved their husbands, and their children and sought to build a godly legacy in their homes. We can all see the amazing faithfulness of the Lord. What a heritage I have found in friendships that hold together from the glue of doing ministry together. I had a chance to share a lot of these ideals with the new group of moms that have joined their small group and it is so good to see that foundational things never change, they just become more clear.

I also see that if we view God as loving and life-giving and redeeming--a God who is a champion for our cause and on our side and patient with us--and we live that out before our children in our home, they will catch it. But if we have in our heart thoughts about a God who is disappointed with us or condemning us, our children will read that God in our behavior and never learn the joy and love and grace of the Lord. I have so realized that those who water the right plants of faith, hope and love in their hearts, remain steadfast. How blessed I am to walk in the company of such women.

But before I spoke on Friday-Saturday, I had flown to Nashville a day early so that I could stay with my oldest, beloved friend, Gwen Todd, in Kentucky--the first friend who taught me the value of commitment and love in working alongside if her in ministry. We are indeed like sisters. Gwen moved back from Vienna, Austria to take care of her beloved mom who is 93 and has alzheimers.

Just happened Gwen didn't meet me at the airport. I found out that she was stuck in her Kentucky cottage with her mom and had been there for 3 days and nights without electricity, or lights or heat in the midst of the ice storm. She couldn't leave her home because of her mom's fragility. So, my sweet friend loaned me a car, I stopped at a store and quickly picked up a meal and drove to Kentucky. It was like a ghost town--no stop lights worked, no lights anywhere, trees fallen in the street that I had to dodge in the dark. But there ahead after 2 hours of driving through a lot of darkness, I saw a candle in the window of one house amidst a street of darkness--it was the candle my friend had lit for me! So I eased into her driveway. I actually knocked countless ice cycles off the bushes as I climbed out of the car. It was a winter wonderland even in the dark. When I went to the door, there was my sweet friend, with candles aglow everywhere. She had found out i was coming through a very short cell phone call that had finally, after 2 days, gone through, and had waiting for me some chips and cheese--the last fresh package of cold food.

What a fun memory we made eating in candle-light, storing up one more memory of adventure. How thankful I was to be of encouragement to her in the midst of feeling alone in the dark--as she has helped me through years and years of crisis in my own home and she adopted my children when there was no other family to love them. So I owed her in a big way and was so blessed to sit in our gowns, cuddled under piles of blankets and enjoying the candlelight and life.

Now, to a favorite meal Sarah and Joy and I have been eating since we got home from the Charlotte, NC conference. My friend Cindy was the inspiration for these. We sautee veggies--onions, carrots, chopped broccoli, mushrooms and some times peppers. We heat up wraps (lots of flavors and types at the store) and then smooth a bottom  layer of humus (or mashed pinto or black beans) then cover it with mashed avocado with lime or salsa, and spread our veggies over this and put chopped cabbage on top as our salad finish and wrap it up! Very yummie to us!

Books I am reading: Roll of Thunder, Hear my Cry--to Joy--what a great book about the depression and the racial conflict--building a lot of compassion into her; she is reading "A Lantern in her Hand," and I am loving Eugene Peterson's new book.

Sorry, but we are having to close the California conference as we have a full house. So looking forward to it. The February winners of the drawing are: The winners are Stephanie Praytor from Rockwall TX and Jennifer  Fitzgerald. congratulations, girls!

Thanks to everyone for your great help. Blessings to you all today! Sally

Interview with Diana Waring...

Hello! I'll post more later, but just wanted you all to know that I'll be on an interview with Diana Waring today on blogtalk radio at 3 o'clock, central time. Click the link below if you are interested in listening!

Upcoming conferences...

Good morning! Just a quick reminder- the California conference is filling up quickly and we are going to have to cut off registration soon, so if you are planning on coming, be sure to get your registration in today. Go here to register.

Also, the hotel rooms in Dallas are going very quickly, so be sure to reserve yours in time if you are planning on attending the Dallas conference. Click here for the Las Colinas Marriot.

I am looking so forward to these conferences. Have a beautiful day!

The Power of a gentle touch

"It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." And he lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold there was an angel touching him, and he said, "Arise and eat." I Kings 19:4-5

What a wonderful time we had in Charlotte with so many moms last weekend. Great talks and discussions and I think the Lord met with so many in their place of need. I was so grateful to be a part and was blessed by so many moms--seeing old friends, connecting with new--and later on, when I have time, I will even show you a new favorite tea cup that was given to me by an angel, but I have to hurry now as I have to teach a history class soon.

But, I do put a lot of energy into speaking and the older I get, I find myself completely drained afterwards. I feel like Jesus in the parable about the woman who touched the hem of his garment and "the strength went out of him." And so sometimes I feel, that "the strength literally goes out of me."

But last night, after we had been reading a book outloud and had a great dinner, Joy came to me and said, "Mom, I have a surprise for you. Go take a hot bath and before you get into the tub, I want to put an avocado mask on you that I was reading about." So, I obeyed gladly and she smoothed avocado all over my face with extra for the wrinkles.

After I got out of my bath, she made me close my eyes and led me by the hand into my bedroom. When I opened my eyes, she had gathered about 10 candles and lit them all over my room. She had put on instrumental music and laid out towels and a pillow for me to lay on. She then gave me a hand massage and filed my nails; gave me a wonderful foot message with great smelling lotion; and followed up with a back and shoulder massage. I cannot tell you how the stress went out of my body and I felt like I had been touched by an angel. I slept so soundly last night and every time I awakened, a smile came to my face as I remembered the service of this precious 13 year old and the last words--"Mom, I love you so much and I just wanted to show you my love."

Sometimes when I am exhausted or drained, I really don't need anyone to settle my problems or bring answers. I just need sleep or rest. But I also think there is a healing power to touch and affection. Her touch literally melted me last night and gave me rest.

I found over the years that often, the way to reach my boys was by scratching their backs or giving them a shoulder massage at night. I think it is so interesting that after Elijah was totally worn out after confronting Ahab and all of his entourage and also Jezebel, that he became depressed and discouraged. Then we read (two times) that the angel touched him and gave him food, after he had slept.

God has given us physical bodies. They need rest, refreshment and touch. Affection settles crying babies, it stimulates their minds and brain waves, it causes very sick people to get better. How grateful I am, that even though I didn't know I needed it, that God sent an angel to me last night to touch me and minister to me. It is the first time she has ever done this in such an elaborate way, but I will never forget this gift of love and the sweet friend who administered it to me!

Today, hug those you love, touch the disgruntled, kiss and scratch backs and you who are weary, get rest and sleep and relax and refresh. Grace and peace to you all.

Monday morning--again--conferences coming up!

Monday mornings before we leave for our first conferences are always filled with adrenalin and excitement and flurry at our house. This is the 13 year, so it is all familiar and yet each year is different. Sarah, Joy and I are preparing to fly to Charlotte on Wednesday and so we are putting last minute details together. (Like, finishing my talks--never quite ready ahead of time-maybe next year!) I am learning so much as I study scripture again! The foundations of faith, joy in the Lord, certainty of His design and calling and practical ways to know what it means to walk with Him and live a life of faith and confidence as a mom;  tips on discipleship and child discipline, developing anchors in your day that will build a great legacy; the importance of raising children to be gracious; the importance of reading outloud to children and the way to inspire great character; cultivating a great soul in your children through beauty, manners, appetites for great thoughts, art and music--are just a few of the topics my speakers and I will address. These are the topics for Charlotte, Irvine and Dallas/Ft. Worth. You can still go here to register. (And you still have a few more days to advertise the conferences on your own letters or blogs--as we will be picking our last two $50 winners February 1)

We are especially excited about our Mom Heart Morning meetings this year. They are just the beginnings of what we hope will be a movement of Moms leading and encouraging Moms all over the world. We hope to see generations changed because of the Biblical support and nurture of small groups. We are looking for writers, administrators, speakers and more. So join us, if you can, to be a part of the beginnings! Just be sure to let Jennice, our secretary, know Jennice  . 

Also, it is not too late to register for North Carolina's conference, but we need to know soon how many meals to order and how many note books to print. We have been praying for all who attend and for the Lord to bring those who especially need encouragement. You may also sign up here to sign up for conferences in Charlotte, California and Texas. (We will be drawing the last two $50 winners from those who announce our conferences again on February 1. Be sure to get your entry in after you put the announcements in and then tell us at whole heart.)

Also, some of you have noticed that I put another announcement at the top of my blog about an online seminar. My dear friend, Lori Lane, is hosting a web conference the same week that we are holding our Mom's conference in California. Sarah and I will both be speaking for a one hour slot for this confernence, but we will tape our talks as we will be in person speaking in California at the same time!

The talk I will give for the webinar will not be a talk from any of my other tape sets and will not be the from the talks I will be giving at this year's conferences. I will be speaking about the role that creativity played in my home and how to implement traditions and beauty and creativity into your schedule to enrich your children's souls. So, if you can't join us at our mom's conferences in the cities where we will be speaking the next 12 weeks, you can join us at the web conference. Lori told me that she will have more info on the site by tomorrow about how you can register if you want to, as I think the site doesn't have a lot of info at this point.

I would so appreciate your prayers as we travel. Please pray for moms to meet face to face with the Lord; pray for all the travel and health of our family and speakers, as we so need God's protection and strength; pray for us --especially my children--to have good attitudes and to be blessed by serving so many people. they work really hard and can be depleted, but they are truly troopers and a blessing. Please pray that my mind and talks will be clear and just what the Lord wants and that the Lord will keep all involved from the evil one.

It is such a privilege to be a part of what the Lord is doing through families. You are indeed essential, from the beginning of time, to God's design for life, children, families and righteousness growing on the earth. May He give each of you strength and grace and wisdom and love today for your many tasks and may you know that today, right in your own homes, souls are being shaped for eternity. Blessings, Sally

PS I love hearing from so many of you. It keeps me going. I am just so far behind on email and correspondence because of my book deadline last week and my computer being in the shop and the conferences. Hope no one falls through the cracks. Just because I haven't answered your letters doesn't mean I am not interested or appreciative. Please forgive me and know that I pray over my emails even when I don't have time to write back. You are all very special to me as I know we are kindred spirits in this stretching calling.

Rest and peace--ahhhhhhhh!

Jessie Wilcox Smith  one of my favorite artists of children! Go make yourself a treat and monkey around a bit!

Galatians 5:1 "It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." (especially stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.)

"And the work of righteousness will be peace and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17

I have seen some books and articles going around that suggest that moms don't really need a break from their children and that it is possible to be around them all the time without going crazy. Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I hope I don't step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women and make them feel guilty unnecessarily. This is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women at times without having to feel guilty for leaving their children.

I have come to really question truths like the one above because they come across as universal and sound wise, but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times?" Or is it possible that there is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind. "It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."

I wrote a chapter in Seasons of a Mother's Heart about legalism imposed upon us by others that produces burdens God never intended us to carry. I find it interesting that God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. No lists about just how to discipline a child, how long to spank, at what age, and for how long, for instance. Or no rule book about what a mom should cook if she was really bringing health to her family or what exact music was acceptable and what music would indeed lead a child astray. Or what it really looks like to submit to a husband-(they are all different and have different preferences!) Not ever a verse that says, "Every mother should stay with her children all the time every hour or else they are not spiritual and their children will go astray." Or, or, or. There is so much in scripture about living by faith, trusting God and Paul and Jesus were so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee and putting heavy loads on people.

Now, I find that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity and of course, I  came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my heart. But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, but as a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom and then living by faith and watching His grace. God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, If I walk it with Him.

There are so many wonderful teachers and speakers who have such a good heart and love the Lord and want to encourage. But the bottom line is the word of God is to be our ideal and not just "wisdom" from others that is extra-Biblical and not scripture--and I find God to be a better task master than most humans I have ever known.

I find that so many young moms lacked good families and they want to "do it right" with their own children, and so they are willing to believe anything in print or that they heard a speaker say and then put themselves under great burdens, in the name of Christian ideals, and then eventually find themselves wanting to give up ideals because they are very depressed or overwhelmed.

I find that the longer I walk with the Lord, the more freedom I feel to be who I am. I don't have to live by anyone else's laws. Clay and I just have to answer to God and scripture,  not to an arbitrary list of someone else's standards. I think that living overseas and traveling a lot has helped in this area a little. Every culture I see and national that I meet has a different tradition of worshiping God and a different set of circumstances to deal with coming from a different culture in applying the word of God. When I meet people from all over the world, I realize that God is so much bigger and beyond my own box. And yet, he allows all of us, from so many different points of view, to enter into His rest and redemption and forgiveness because of His wonderful, gracious love.

My real desire in writing this article, though, is to give moms permission to be themselves. There is no "one right way". Each of you has a different puzzle to solve--different children's personalities, husbands and even a different personality yourself. Some of you are introverts and some extroverts. But the bottom line is, that as a wise woman, you need to figure out how you can best make it in the long run--loving God and loving your family. 

I am a bit adhd and in order for me to make it as a mom of 4 children, who homeschooled and had very few support systems, I personally had to have variety in my life. If life got too stale, I would go under, so I would create adventure for me and for my children. I am also a bit introverted in some ways and if I am around people all the time for days and months at a time, I will indeed explode! Clay and I figured out that I could go to a coffee shop early a couple of days a week at 6 a.m. and have coffee and a quiet time and write in my journal and then come home by 7:45 a.m. and then he could go to work--and I felt like a different person and he was happy to take care of the kids during that time.  (Especially during the years Joy had nocturnal asthma every night for a year and a half--I needed a break just to keep sane!) I can't live without my quiet time, to think and plan and get perspective. Now there were plenty of times when the kids were sick or Clay was out of town or things just fell apart--and I didn't get time alone for weeks on end. But, I learned that for me to last well for a long time, I had to figure out how to find time in my schedule to have some alone time. 

Each season was different. I have found this season of my life as one of the hardest. (as I have no control over my sweet older kids needs or schedules and there is always an interruption--always and every day and every hour!) When my children were all little, I had a group--we were a clan! and could tell them when we would do things and then I had each child have a quiet hour every afternoon--I would put books in a basket for them and fun magazines and let them have a cup of something to drink--like hot cocoa--and then they would all have to stay in their own areas for an hour. It helped my kids to become readers and to learn to enjoy time alone, un-entertained. But it also gave me time to look forward to every day, where I could have my own cup of tea that no one else could drink and a little time to regroup or rest or make a phone call. Now, it wasn't perfect and there were lots of interruptions, but in general, it worked for me. It was an anchor for all of us to look forward to in our day. But this is not a standard for you--you might want something different or have a whole different kind of preferences to work with. I also would leave the house when we were having too much stress--go to a park, or a ride in the mountains to listen to music or a book on tape with Hot Chocolate to drink--as just getting out helped them and me!

Now, when my older kids are home, I am interrupted at every point. But I want so much to be with them and spend time with them and continue building on our relationship that I make myself available as much as possible. On holidays, I never know who is going to wake up when or eat when or come or go when, as they all have their own schedules and friends and commitments. So, I have had to make a new plan for this season. But, I would have gone under long ago if I hadn't figured out my personality and my needs and how to best stay on top of emotions and needs in the midst of always giving to others. I need to stay healthy  so that everyone else can find strength from me.

The Mama is the key. If she is watching over her heart with all diligence and her heart is becoming depleted and dry, then she needs a plan. Where can I go to become spiritually encouraged? What book can I read? What would fill my cup, emotionally, spiritually, physically and still fit the puzzle of my family?

Who can I spend time with that can encourage me? If a mom's heart stay's full, she will always have the strength to give to all those who need her. However, it is one of the attributes that I admire most--the ability to manage your life, so as to keep going and going. I had to learn that the sabbath rest was God's idea. I had to figure out how to take Sunday's as a day of rest so that I didn't burn out. I had to figure out how I could refresh and regroup after so many conferences, as this is the vocation Clay and I were called to. Clay is a real visionary and architect of new ideas and there is not end to what He might dream up. We married knowing that we would be committed to ministry until we went senile or died. It has meant a different life, schedule, commitments and responsibilities than almost anyone I know. But we worked together over the years to figure out what we needed as a family to protect our inner circle with each other and to keep our hearts warm to each other, the Lord and our children. But, if we read some of the books that are out there, we would have quit what we are doing long ago--because we don't fit the mold or anyone's idea of what a perfect schedule or balance to life is. Yet, we feel such a privilege to do what we do and we want to keep working all the more until we see Jesus.

But all that to say, God is on your side. He is so well pleased that you are seeking to please Him and to love your children and husband. He no more expects perfection out of you than He did of Peter! And He is not surprised when you blow it--as a matter of fact, he would probably say to you, (or me) "Sally, I know that when the cock crows (or the children push you over the edge) you are going to blow it. But take courage, because I have prayed for you that when you get yourself together again, you will strengthen the brethern" In other words, he would say, "I am with you. I understand you. I love you and I will help you make it. Now, go get some sleep or go have fun or go be with a friend and know that it will all be fine. I am the one in control--even of your children, their future, your finances, your mental health. Don't stress. Just rest--in me."

I have to live this way--it is the only way to maintain joy in the midst--to know that He will never, never leave me or forsake me. He will always love me. He is always my helper and good shepherd and prayer warrior and redeemer and model of how to live a servant life and yet still find time alone with the Father-- he is even now, building a great home for me to live in forever in eternity, which I can't wait to go to.

Grace and peace to all of you precious ones this January time of life. Sally Sally@wholeheart.org

PS I had so much fun Monday. One of my genius friends figured out that most of us had conference calling on our phone and so eight of us joined together for a conference call and we all prayed together for a long time and giggled and loved each other--for the community we were having over a phone call that connected all of our phones together. It was fun and so very encouraging to me and to Joy--as several prayed and prayed for her and it filled her heart, too. I am so blessed to have friends who will pray with me. You call one person and then put them on flash and then call another person. Then that person calls another person and puts them on flash and then calls another person and so on. If you find enough people who have this option on their phone (most phone agreements come with it!) you could endlessly connect with friends everywhere.

My favorite things...

Just a short list of thoughts as I am away in a hotel room by myself trying to finish my book by Monday! Got Joel and Sarah off today to Boston-(Sarah wanted an adventure and to help Joel settle in--they are grand friends and have so much fun traveling, listening to books on tape, singing to favorite music, stopping at Starbucks and talking and talking--wish I were with them!) I get a little lonely when I have to sequester myself to write as I do love home and my family. 

So, I brought some of my favorite things with me to keep my spirit buoyed--a rose table covering and vanilla candles; Yorkshire gold tea and a china tea cup--(keeps it hotter.); my favorite lap throw with flowers--I hate to be cold and it is snowing today; celtic music; Pride and Prejudice soundtrack; Mrs. Potter soundtrack; and Ladies in Lavender soundtrack; Joshua Bales on violin on a concerto; and of course Joel on his new album; also love walks in the mountains and cool cloudy days; the color blue and also rose; sweet friends who love me and care about me--I need them so much with not so much family in my life; my children are some of those  best friends as well as a few special buddies who love me no matter what; great books and stories--Eugene Peterson's new book; Victoria Magazine; salad with lots of vege's and avocado and walnuts and always onions; a hot bath that covers my whole body--I love baths; traveling to new places and old favorites (Vienna; Asheville; Prince Edward Island; across country with my kids in a car) chocolate--especially any chocolate with nuts; and especially Lindt--the dark one with the blue foil wrapper; talking with Nate (or Sarah, and Joel)  to see how New York and the other far places in the world) is doing; and encouraging letters or emails from friends; studying the Word and being with my precious Jesus and pondering Him!

Must go back to writing now. Have a great weekend. Congrats to the moms in Ca and North Carolina who won the coupons for books. Still time to advertise and be signed up for the last drawing, February 1! Remember that Clay has extended the deadline in California and Charlotte until midnight on Sunday night so more moms can get in to the conferences on the lower price. We have to set a deadline cause we have to order meals and have notebooks printed and get favors in time--so be sure to sign up if you are coming as it makes it so much better for our office! Fun to know of women coming from Quebec and Spain and from all over. Praying for all of you. Be sure you know that in California, there is a direct shuttle to the hotel from Orange County airport--not LAX!

Also, Mom Heart Vision training will be at each conference as a separate meeting at 9:30 a.m.  in Charlotte, Irvine and at Dallas/Ft.Worth--my friend, Sandra Maddox and I will be laying out the vision and look forward to visiting with all of you who can come to this meeting and to help you start small groups and give you special encouragement. If you want to come to this, please register at wholeheart so we can plan on how many materials we need to print--also, the hotels require us to have refreshments or to rent the rooms, so a donation of $10 would be appreciated if you can. This meeting is for all who want to find out about Mom Heart Ministry and who might want to help with this-and it is a separate meeting before the mom's conference will start. I am so excited. We hope it will all be of great encouragement to moms all over the world!

Now, please pray I will finish my book with great thoughts from the Lord. Wishing you all peace this weekend.

Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org

The Joy of the Lord is my strength--a New Year Resolve in the midst of trials!

"Thy words were found and I ate them, And they words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; For I have been called by Thy name, O Lord God of hosts." Jeremiah 15: 16 "Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord, and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water. That extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; And it will not be anxious in the year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17: 7-8

Happy and Blessed 2015!

I have come to love the first few mornings I can really get alone with the Lord in the days of a new year. It is the foundation of my ability to be able to face days with courage and hope and peace. I get excited about  what is ahead, what ways I will see Him working in my life and in the lives of my children--but I don't get excited until I am alone in His presence!

Another new year is upon us! This year will be one filled with fears and anxieties and stresses--and I know that it will be--but how I handle the stresses and face the trials will totally determine the fruitfulness and grace with which we live each day.

 

As adults, our idealistic children are juggling ideals with reality--where to invest one their lives, how to find community of spiritual people, practical issues of how to pay their bills.

Our own family of 7, is always faced with all sorts of financial demands and insecurities--the future of Whole Heart--our livelihood and the ability to pay our staff, usually is determined by filling our conferences. This is even more complicated with the new health care system as insurance for our small ministry is exorbitant. Paying off  school loans with our children, preparing for conferences, books, travels, responsibilities--all of us have our own piles.

But this year, we know many precious friends have lost their jobs and are under financial stress--we are all affected by this downturn of the economy. Clay and I don't know any other kind of work--it is our life's work to minister to families--what is our future?

We know so many of you face these and other issues.

Yet, it is not the battles that defeat us, but how well we fight in the battles that determine our outcome and victory.

Depression and fear are natural results of being in and surrounded by difficulties--three times in John we read that Jesus was troubled--

but it is moving into the presence of the Lord--our commander, in which we see life from His eyes, refocus and gain strength and instruction about how we can move ahead with grace.

I was feeling exhausted and depleted for 28 years of giving, giving, giving! Seems I have spent myself on others--forever--serving them, loving them, providing for them, and caring for their endless needs. So, the thoughts were going that invaded my mind. Whether my husband and children or the many in our ministry or friends, I have spent myself as much as possible for as many years as I can remember. But this night, when  I had to pack up--again--and knew that we would only get 2-3 hours of sleep before our alarm awakened us at 3:20 a. m. so that we could get to our taxi, to the airport, and then board our 6 o'clock plane--this night--I felt pretty much like giving up--or giving in--whatever that meant!  But I also knew that decisions should never be made at night--happy hormones are down and need a night of sleep to build them up again--never pay attention to the dark thoughts of a late night! They kill and deplete and destroy!

"I think I need a long, long rest, Lord. I think I may be getting irrelevant, dried up, unusable--I don't think I can go one more year in ministry. I am tired and drained and discouraged! I am tired and this is only the first trip of our busiest season yet. Can I please have a year off--just to rest, refresh and gain perspective?"

And so the dark cloud swirled around, hovering around my depleted heart, threatening and accusing and intimidating! But, after many, many years of learning to put one foot in front of the other, I finished packing. Nate came in and we had a 45 minute talk--my last time with him before he went back to New York the next day--so I had strength to give to him, since I knew it would be my last face to face for a while! Just as I finished with him, then, Joy came in changed into her "flying" clothes and crawled in bed with me. Seems she was overwrought from tiredness and depleted adrenalin from many competitions and was a little weepy. "Mom, I can't get to sleep. Will you please snuggle with me? I just need to be close to someone."

So I snuggled, rubbed her head, until 1:00 a.m.--one more time, I could give out one more time--because this little bundle was so very precious to me. Finally fell asleep, looking at the clock for the last time at 1:23! The impossible had been done again--giving out again--there had been enough strength afterall--in spite of my emotions and thoughts!

Yesterday was a blur--sleeping like we were drugged on the plane. But, Clay picked me up at the Denver airport with my own home-made cinnamon bread, toasted; with cheese and toasted pecans and a welcome heart for the hour long trip home. When Joy and I arrived home, Sarah and Joel had lit every candle in our house; they had cleaned up all the Christmas stuff and redecorated with valentine stuff--and put on a beautiful instrumental c.d.; and made a fresh pot of tea with muffins for a 9:30 a.m. tea time. Now, I would have only two more days with them before they both took off to Boston, where Joel, just this week, in the nick of time, had found amazing, great, inexpensive housing near to the campus--another story!

But, just now, Oh, to be home. For so many years, this is how I had greeted them--after trips, in the mornings, when they returned home from adventures. How very encouraged I was to be in the life of home again-that my own, young adult children had created for me. Then, Joy and I slept and caught up on phone calls and mail and the stories Clay, Joel and Sarah had to share--and we shared all about our adventures with them, and I fell into bed shortly after 9 p.m. last night.

This morning, I awakened wide-awake at 4:45. Slipping out of bed, I snuck (is that a word?) downstairs, made some tea, lit our fire and a candle, and almost got butterflies in my stomach because, finally, I would get some much needed time with my beloved and most precious friend--the Lord. Slowly, as I read the Word--His word, I could feel my burdens lightening, my heart getting slowly realigned with His; joy beginning to fill my heart; peace about trusting in His hand to provide for our many needs ahead; and assurance that He would meet me at every point along the way.

Clay had shared a verse with me for the last chapter of the book I have to finish this week--Jeremiah 15: 16--just what I needed this morning--"Thy words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart." His words, the words of my beloved Father, creator, shepherd--the one who wants to care for me this year-the one who longs to speak to me and to have me listen to Him--His words become the delight of my heart."

And so I looked just across the page of my Bible to another couple of verses--Blessed is she (my slight change!) who trusts in the Lord (not in money, things, jobs, people--but in Him) and whose trust is the Lord--(He alone is my strength, help, source of life, and wisdom)--For and this is an important little word--for--if--a person trusts the Lord and has him as their strength--he will be planted--placed by water--a source of life--roots will go down into His stream of life--fear will not be a part of his life when heat and drought come--but instead, fruit will be produced! This person will not cease to yield fruit--even in drought--even in heat--but the water of His life--will be the source to provide fruit that will never cease.

These are the words my weary heart and mind needed to feed upon--just what I needed to keep going with strength and energy to meet all He will bring my way. He is real. He is with me. He is with you--as a little girl, as Joy did with me, go to Him for snuggling, for reassurance, for love and for peace. He is ready to hold you and love you.

How reassuring to me-I see drought ahead--heat ahead--difficult times. I think many are in the refining fire of God's love and care--God is not willing for us to depend on materialism--that is idolatry. He doesn't want us to be lazy and corrupt in our nature--He wants us to be like Him--so our hearts and souls may be tested and refined--but, we will find Him and His ways in our life to be faithful--true--good and truly fulfilling--and joyful. But, the bottom line is--if we trust Him and make Him our trust, if we respond to His loving discipline, if we bring His light and life into the dark places; if we obey his words and life--then the waters of His love and encouragement spring forth in our hearts and we sense his presence and love anew--enough for each day.

I have been learning so much in the past months about how to look at the future with hope; how to walk with God; how to continue to find strength--I can't wait for my conferences to share many of these new lessons with you! And am praying that many of you will still find a way to come. There is something amazing that happens in these conferences where women are gathered together in a large group for fellowship, strength and encouragement and prayer and fun--the life of Christ is almost palpable. We have seen so many lives changed and so many families strengthened for the tasks of life.

But we are also trying hard to figure out new technology on our website and in our ministry to put some of these conferences online so that women all over the world may partake. Please pray for the Lord to help us with this--to provide the technical support as well as the financial support to undertake these projects very soon.

(Some very unexpected support came from friends in Australia that encouraged us to keep going in this direction. Many of you very generously supported us at the end of this year to help us keep going--and we know that many who sent in financial contributions sent them even though they had lost jobs--we were humbled and overwhelmed with thanksgiving for each person who sacrificed and gave that we may keep going! -I have to say that this makes Clay and me really want to be good stewards of your love, faith and support. We feel such a privilege to be a part of God's hands and words and life in this world to parents.)

I will be writing more, later this week, about other ways that the Life of God grows in our hearts and encourages us. But wanted to say hi, we are praying for the many wonderful moms and families that the Lord brings our way. May you find His beauty, strength, grace and peace today. May He fill you with renewed joy. Blessings of His grace to all of you in 2009--may we live to tell stories of His faithfulness to all of us this year through all eternity. Sally Sally@wholeheart.org

PS We will be contacting the two winners of the $50 coupon from Whole Heart from those who advertised our conferences in your email or newsletter in December. They will be contacted today! We will give 2 more $50 away to those of you who advertise in January for the Charlotte, Irvine and Dallas/Ft. Worth conference--to enter your name in our contest, please send Jennice  your name and phone number and where you advertised our conferences. You may go here Wholeheart.org and look under conferences for email information and letters that have already been written that you can use for your announcement. We so appreciate those of you who are helping us get the word out. Now that the holidays are out of the way, many will begin to think about the possibility of coming and your announcement may just help a discouraged mom to come for the encouragement she needs. We so appreciate your helping our ministry in this way!

This and that and the training of future disciples!

Seven a.m. found us at the airport this morning only to find out that our flight to Orlando will be an hour late.  We left our house at 5 a.m. and sweet Joel took his turn to transport us. A generous offer to send Joy and Nate to the national competition if I would speak was irresistible  as I take advantage of every training opportunity for my children that I can. Training brings skill, confidence, poise and grace to children as they learn, experience by experience how to build their skills at relating to life and to people. Some have asked me how I can allow my children to go into the world to dangerous places--New York, Boston, overseas, etc. I think that your goals and philosophy will determine so much of what you do and practice. Clay and I talked hours and hours about our ideals for our children. Our ultimate goal was to teach and model to our children what is looked like for them to walk with God. Our goal wasn't just to teach them morality, or to indoctrinate them spiritually, but to cultivate in them a heart for God, a heart for His word, and to slowly give them independence so that they would be able to make good choices and have convictions.

We often talked about "he who is faithful with small things will be faithful in much." And for us this meant, little by little, giving them opportunities to walk with God, to make decisions; to practice being responsible with us, so that as we walked alongside them, we could help them, pick them up, teach them to learn from mistakes while they were still at home, and then always say, "God has a work for you to do in your lifetime and in this world. Your personal integrity will be the platform from which you will give your messages. If you are faithful at home, we will help you to expand your borders."

Jesus said of his disciples, "Father, I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one." Jesus sent his disciples into the world to bring His light and redemption and love. How can we as parents have a different goal? Am I ever worried? Of course I am. it is a dangerous world out there. But having prayed for them and told them all their lives that they were to be kingdom bearers in the world--that they would be God's hands and feet and mouth to lost people, then we had to support them, pray for them and be accountable to them as God began to give them dreams and to open doors for them.

Clay and I did decide that our children needed a transitional year between high school graduation and college or moving away. Each lived at home, worked, built faithfulness and proved their character. This year, we developed opportunities for the kids to expand their borders and to spread their wings. We stay face to face and very active in our children's lives--and we did send them to lots of training places with other strong believers (Masterworks, Summit Ministries, World View academy and others Clay attended with the boys). But these were baby steps toward owning their own lives. Each child is different, but the basis of loving discipleship and relationship leadership was always a big part of our lives. However, most of all, we depended on the Lord, prayed a lot and asked His Holy Spirit to work. He is always our confidence. He is our strength and the one we went to in unsure times.

I think that when parents try to hold on to their children as they get older and make them totally dependant on them, they are inhibiting them in their own adult life and in their walk with the Lord. There is a  balance and each child is different. But, that is why training and foundations are so important. We taught scripture in the market place of life. High control and protection and training when they were little as we helped them to establish foundations. Then, little by little walking along beside them to let them see what ministry looked like--talkging, talking, talking every step of the way as Jesus did.

That is why we made each of our children speak or sing or serve or perform in some way every year of our mom's conferences. We wanted them to perceive that they had something to say, something to give, something to do--in helping even those who were in our audiences. Yesterday, Joel and I were talking and he said, "It is funny how all of us feel pretty secure speaking or singing in front of people. You all always said we needed to be message makers and we needed to have experience doing it. I remember one year being so terrified to get up in front of the crowd. But you and Dad prayed and encouraged me through it and now I see that all of us kids perceive ourselves as people with a message. Training and experience made the difference."

It is fun to finally be at the stage where often our children reflect wisdom from their own hearts--to see that they have owned the messages we had to repeat over and over and over again. So that is why I am excited about this week. Another opportunity to be beside my children, to encourage and instruct them and support  them as they are rubbing shoulders with those outside of their box. Clay has already talked about what he is going to do with our kids who are still home this week--taking them alone to breakfast to talk with them about their ideals and goals. So we will both have time to pour into our kids and to further prepare them to move ahead confidently into their own arenas. Joy and Nate will be in monologues competitions, singing, acting, modeling. Why? Because they have an interest in these areas. When we found out that 98 per cent consume media and only two percent inform the values of media, we could see that it was an arena in which the Lord would call some to be a different kind of model, to bring different values. It is a touch arena, and there will be obstacles for our children along the way, but we will be beside them, praying every day, and talking, talking, talking. But, in obedience to Christ, we want and long for them to have a heart of compassion for the lost. We do not want them to have pharisee hearts--that they are somehow better than others who have fallen--but we want them to have pure hearts, filled with compassion for the lost and broken. We want them to, by God's grace, take His light and redemption to every corner of the earth in confidence that He is with them and will sustain them and guide them because of their own walk with God.

Please pray for us this week. Please pray for many to come to our conferences as we so long to encourage, help and train precious moms, so that they, too, will grow in their vision about how to train, love and prepare their children to be mature disciples for Christ. Whole Heart Ministries depends on the Lord for our financial stability and it has been our conferences that have helped us to do the work we have been able to do, in order to support our staff and to fund the publishing of our books and materials. We appreciate every bit of help you give to us to be able to reach more families. We so appreciate your prayers. May our wonderful Lord bless and encourage you for a most productive and blessed 2009  Love, and blessings to you all! Sally

Ride 'em Cowboy!

Christmas morning at a traditional breakfast buffet

Is anyone tired yet? I am tired but blissfully so. (Only a few teary, over-whelmed moments--but then isn't that a part of the tension of family life and then trusting the Lord?) Since our boys came back, I feel like I am riding on a wild stallion and holding on for dear life. Joel once jokingly said, "You know our family is like one of those loud Jewish intellectual families  like in Fiddler on the Roof who had an opinion on everything and has to discuss everything from the mundane to the sublime. Or maybe it is a fiery Irish family with abundance of spunk or a rousing, dancing Greek family, or Italians eating feasts chattering and, Oh, well, Mom, you get the picture!"  (and so Joel reflected his love and value for the international friends he keeps in touch with from living overseas and was trying to get at the essence of our family in the midst of it.) It wears me out just to contemplate it--but I did know what he meant--there is not much quiet or calm about us when we are all together!

Perhaps this loud image also grew the whole week long as Nate practiced his drums, Joel was composing piano tunes for an hour or two a day in the main area on my childhood piano and Nate and Joy were practicing their performance songs to tape tracks--over and over and over. (all while the dog barked innermitantly at the fox outside and and growled and wrestled with the boys.

What he says is true! It has been so peaceful with our two girls and Clay and me and all girl hormones in our home the past 4 months. But, since the boys came home, we have laughed and talked and eaten and eaten and eaten, and heard funny stories about New York City  and Nashville and it seems everyone is in competition to say one more thing. Last night as I tucked Joy into bed, she commented, "Our family can be overwhelming, Mom!" I think that for the first time in her life, the last few months, she hasn't had as much competition for talking and now she remembers what the whole shabang is like!

I was reflecting on how my children have changed very little since they were young. Somehow I thought that my training would transform them into something supernatural. But though, all have matured, all are very much the same and have the same personality issues and antics. The mix of all of us together is dramatic--never a dull moment.Clay, the best gift giver and introverted and the most and maybe only organized one, who also holds on for dear life in the midst of so much energy expressed;Sarah is still her sweet, loving, artistic, gentle self, but roused and quite strong and articulate when ideals are discussed; Joel, reflective and friendly with his head up in the clouds dreaming but always ready to defend any intellectual idea to the end, while absent minded in details; Nate extroverted and talkative, extremely quick witted and quick worded,  always on the go, always out of the box and depended upon to have a different view; and Joy, fun, talkative, outgoing and competitive--trying to be sure she is keeping up with everyone and so she has become quite strong for a 13 year old as her peers are years older. (In three days, I will accompany Joy and Nate to another National competition for actors, singers, dancers and models--Joy has the bug and is stretching herself in lots of areas--even have Joy and Nate singing a duet, pop song and all that practice for 13 competitions and 200 head shots and comp cards and a talk I will be giving at the conference, all are being prepared in the midst of sugar cookies and movies and me finishing my book! Orlando, here we come!)

All of us are far from perfect--our flaws would be obvious to everyone--but we are all very Clarkson--our own special traditions and weird personalities.  I have the feeling if anyone could see into our home to see what we are really like, they would be surprised. We really do talk and discuss and idealize almost every waking moment--and then we still make attempts to do mundane things like dishes, pay bills, straighten the house again! But still go on talking, ....., .......,

Our own special recipe of life defines us in many ways. (Shepherd's meal and devotional, brunch out on Christmas morning, always books and books and talks about books, stockings--the favorite thing, with always a gift card to a favorite book and record shop, sparkling grape juice, chocolate covered pretzels, potato soup, cold raspberry soup, brisket and more.)It is these small things that have anchored us together. I have a sense that my days with all of us together are quickly coming to a close--all of my children have spread their wings and traveled and worked in other large cities and countries and all have become dreamers--they all have a deep conviction that God wants them to make their mark on the world. I wouldn't have it any other way, but it is stretching.

My main goal over the years was to give them a heart for the Lord and then to have a heart for taking His messages out into the world to bring His light to bear and to extend His kingdom values and messages through God's calling on their lives. Sometimes a messy journey of details and obstacle courses, but still, the ideals in our home fly back and forth. I didn't know what Clay and I were building when we passionately shared devotions with them every day and read hero stories about people in history who had used their lives to bless others; and then taking them with us all over the world to speak and inspire others in our conferences.

But, now they all think big, love people from all over the world, want to be composers, writers, actors and singers. But, in the end I wouldn't have it any other way. I am thankful they have chosen big arenas to explore and to invest in--and I still don't know how it will all turn out. (For sure, just didn't know how expensive it would be! Imagine that all of my children have ended up idealists! Wonder where they got it?!!) Nor did I picture them moving all over the world. But life is short , so even if we live far apart for now,  I know I will get more time with them in heaven. And after all, I am still dreaming about how the Lord might still use Clay and me to help more families, so as long as there are dreams, there is still life and the hope that our lives can make a difference.

So, after 10 days of loving and playing and eating and discussing, we will all go our own ways again and life will settle down to a dull roar instead of a thundering wind of activity and life. I couldn't keep this pace all the time--but I am so very grateful to be in this place where I see their souls straining toward the Life He has called them to.

I think I will go think all about it , as I go to wash dishes one more time!

Peace of the Lord in the midst of your own messes and love and life!

Sally

PS I am really excited about the conferences coming up and spend quite a bit of time thinking about all God has taught me this year to share! Be sure to sign up soon as late registration will kick in for many conferences. It sure helps us to plan when you register early as we have lots of notebooks and flights and reservations and meals to arrange. We will be picking two more winners of the $50 coupons for December for those who advertise it to friends, so be sure to let us know if you are doing that and you can be in the drawing for December. (write Jennice)  Look above--top right--to connect to info about the conference closest to you. Also, for the California conference, flights should be booked to  Orange County, John Wayne airport as it is just around the block from the hotel.)