Never, never a dull moment!

What a wonderful time we had in Dallas this weekend. Since it was the first place we held our conferences, it is a homecoming of sorts to our family. It is so fun, too, because we have friends who travel with us from here to help, as well as board members who fly in to help and we have so much fun catching up and making new memories that all of us have great fellowship--even if we are a bit tired. I have developed a theory that God gives speaker/writer types an adventurous life so that they will always have new chapters to write or stories to tell to show His truth and greatness. But, sometimes I don't know what it all means and just live through it. After our conference in Charlotte, I had to stop by a gas station on the way home from the airport to go to the Lady's room. In it, I found a sweet, lost little pregnant girl sitting on the floor of the bathroom with no money and no one to help her and so we picker her up and had to take her eventually to the police and find a safe place for her as she was on the amber alert. It made us three hours later getting home. It is a long story and it made me even more committed to trying to reach parents because all of her problems could be traced to her being abandoned as a baby by her teen pregnant mom and all the ensuing being tossed from here to there in her life time. More on that someday later. 

Then, when we flew home from California, we arrived at the airport about midnight. Clay was driving and noticed that the car in front of him was weaving from side to side. He commented, "I bet that guy is drunk and I bet he is going to have a wreck." Just after he said this, the car tried to take a turn to the left in front of us and he missed it and turned horizontally into a deep ditch. So, once again, Clay stopped to get out and help the guys who were in the car to be sure no one was hurt.

Then, I commented to the girls last night before we got off our plane, "Let's see if we can just go home from the airport--no more adventures tonight!" (Clay was driving the car and books and stuff home from Texas--the girls were flying!) Finally we got to our car and it was the dark of night and I jumped in the passenger side as Sarah started the car to drive off with Joy in the back and the car started going, "Ker plunk, ker plunk, ker plunk." Oh, mom, I think we have a flat tire!" was the comment of dear Sarah. Sure enough, our front left tire was all the way flat. So, once again, we were delayed in getting home. Now it makes me suspicious what Joy and I will find when we get back from Baltimore next Saturday night-------!!!!!!!

This morning, the first thing, I had to take my computer in to the Mac store as it totally blacked out. The words I heard were, "I think it might be the hard drive." So, I am praying I can get all my info off and hoping for a rather eventless rest of the week. But I am blessed and happy to be home. More soon! (Pray I can get my books and articles and addresses off my computer, please. I need an angel-mac person to preform a miracle!)

Blessings!

PS Just found out that is is my hard drive and the Mac store can't open it. Might have to turn it into a hard drive retrieval place in California. Does anyone out there know of a better way or group or person who could help get my info back from my Mac? Thanks ahead of time.

Sally@wholeheart.org

Living out the reality of God in your home

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I am off to Dallas in a couple of days and I look so forward to seeing so many moms there. I consider it such a privilege to be able to serve God by serving moms, because they are the trainers and developers of leaders of the next generation. Often people have asked me why I am traveling so much and working so hard at this season of life. I have to. I keep hearing of precious young adults who are compromising their morals, giving up their faith, making decisions that bring about scars in their hearts and souls. I sometimes feel that I have only a limited time to reach as many moms and parents as I can in my lifetime and I want to meet Jesus face to face and be able to say, "I gave my whole heart and time and life to you and your kingdom's cause because I love you. You are worthy of all of my praise and moments and life. I treasure you and sought to be a steward of all the wonderful truth you taught me." We must each take serious our responsibility to be a steward of His grace, love and redemption.

Our young adult children are confronted more than ever with post modern values. Almost every movie, television show, book has an expectation of immorality, infidelity, impurity. Our children are confronted with it at every turn. There are fewer and fewer models that we can point to, to say, "follow His pattern of leadership, of sacrifice, of holiness."

That is why we must, in our homes, be a true and vibrant picture of the living God, of the depth of Jesus. However, we must ponder often what that means. I have asked myself often just what it is that is causing so many of our older children to fall. My children have precious friends who have grown up with godly parents and heard all the messages of the gospel, and yet they still turn away from God. Many of these parents were faithful and wonderful. But I will share with you what I am learning.

It is a very lonely world out there for godly children. They will find few young adults with strong values and  convictions. They will have to stand alone again and again amongst the crowd--the veritable sea of people who are not living with a paradigm of faithfulness to their creator. Loneliness is very difficult to bear over and over and over again. Therefore, we need to stand in the gap, to be there for our children, to reach out to them, to understand their temptation, to keep giving and giving and giving--to continue being the servant leader that Jesus was.

But there is something else I have been thinking about. Often, in our zealousness, we live by fear in the presence of our children. We tell them of the harsh realities of the world, we make them memorize verses, we indoctrinate them with our philosophy and focus on their behavior--we follow methods and formulas and law. But we must understand that it is only when we reach their hearts and pass on a true love of God that they will become engaged in His life.

I have focused my past few years of spiritual life on Jesus Himself. Jesus is, according to Hebrews 1:3, "The radiance of His glory, the exact representation of his nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power." In other words, when you see Jesus, you see God, himself, living in the flesh."

Looking at Jesus is to look and behold God himself. Jesus was a man who walked on water, was tossed about in the stormy sea on a smelly fishing boat, he held a picnic and satisfied the hunger of thousands of people several times--he didn't just talk about truth, he satiated hunger of rumbling stomachs. Jesus touched the untouchables--he touched with tenderness and love a prostitute, lepers, sick and dying. He held and fondled on his knee children and laughed with them and loved them. Jesus was not afraid to rage at the religious leaders who led people in legalism and performance but were not compassionate--he was not afraid of the rulers. He talked of birds, trees, lilies, mountains, and creation. Jesus washed one hundred and twenty dirty toes, the night before he died, and wiped them tenderly with a towel as a mother bathes the children she loves. He celebrated and drank wine at a wedding, cooked fish on the beach and validated women for their service and tender love of himself.

People have often asked me why I emphasize beauty--art, candles, beautiful music, a cup of tea, cinnamon rolls, great stories and books and celebrating life. It is because I want to bring the reality of God and His life into my home. He painted the skies and the flowers, her touched human flesh, he gave a capacity to think, he told epoch stories through prophets and in his sermons, he fed and celebrated amongst his own disciples. He comforted the sad, healed the broken hearted, inspired the vigorous young men amongst him to live for a kingdom that would never end. He modeled, through his every waking hour, the vast love, compassion, holiness, beauty, touchable food, and servant leadership that expresses the very heart of God. Jesus is not just a thought to be understood, a verse to be memorized, but a living, breathing, vibrant, loving, personal God who lives and breathes amongst us in my home each day. He is the way and He is with us along the way.

It is the life and reality of a God who came to love and serve and redeem that is what my children long for in their hearts. They experience this through my life and service and love and excellence and faith and confident celebration of life. I can only give to them what I have found by loving Him on my own, by seeing  Him with my own eyes, but understanding Him in my own quiet time and then living from a soul fully engaged in Him. The joy of life, which is contagious, comes from being in His presence and enjoying Him. (In His presence is fullness of joy and in His right hand are pleasures evermore. Do I experience this? Do I believe it? Do I live it?)

In my personal relationship with my children where I love and value and serve them as Jesus did His own disciples, my children will not just hear of doctrine and manners and chores, but they will feel the touch of Christ, the compassion of Christ, the encouraging words of Christ and they will learn to love Him because they have felt and seen and lived love in the minutes of our lives together. Even as Jesus said, "I will never leave you or forsake you," so I will let my children know, "I will never leave you or forsake you--I will be praying for you, I will celebrate life with you (and cook for you and give you gift cards when you are far away from me.) and you can tell me anything and I will be your friend and companion as well as your leader and guide.

Love will be the foundation of our discipleship relationship as love is the foundation of Jesus' relationship with me.

So when our children are out in the world, (Jesus said he would not take His disciples out of the world, but he asked the father to keep them from the evil one--to deliver them from temptation--we must send our disciples into the world as Jesus did, when they have been trained and understood the kingdom and the King, that when they are mature, they can also be redeemers.), we will still be with them, close to them, pursuing them and active  in their lives. Lonely children, even young adults, always need to have someone to lift them up, to encourage them, to believe in them, to help them--it is the way of discipleship, motherhood and servant leadership--it is the reality of Christ lived through us.

So, as I go to spread these messages, I would so appreciate your prayers, for safety in travel, for health for my family as we serve, for my children to stay faithful and to live in His strength and reality, as I feel that as Clay and I are serving our wonderful Lord, Satan hates us even more and my children become targets. Please pray for them and for us. I so appreciate so many of you who help and give and serve and pray for us together in the ministry God has called us to. May each of you be blessed and prosper in His grace, strength and love today.

Kind words soften the heart momheart blog post

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Joy, 5 years ago, being dragged around to conferences.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.

Mother Theresa

So often as a mom, I have had grand ideals and plans of how I would influence and inspire my children. Yet it has been in the small moments that came upon me unexpectedly, those that take you totally by surprise, when the heart of what I have left my child has been most truly felt and left an eternal mark. And so, through time, I have learned to become aware at those moments to take notice, and to seek to make in investment of love, resisting what could be a forever memory of conflict. Kind words, chose well, can move a child to faith for a lifetime.

A memory of Joy from a few years ago entered my mind recently as I was praying for her to find the grace to face some difficulties in her own life. Each January for many years, our family served together at 4 national Mom Heart Conferences. These conferences were exhausting, required a lot of patience and commitment and tested all of our ability to endure well.

It had been a very long weekend--the third of such weekends. Lots of wonderful women chattering, asking questions, sharing hearts; speaking, praying, encouraging, laughing. One more conference with 4 more to go before our 20 day mission trip ending the season. And now, we were leaving the hotel to spend a day with friends. Everyone's adrenalin was down and our tempers were short.

It is always a challenge to round up all the "stuff" we spend 3-4 days spreading out over our hotel rooms. A mess bomb had exploded everywhere, as the 15 people working with us helped us to spread it all around. Remnants of papers and copies of name-tags,  as we register women and have notebooks, stamp the bookmarks to give out, have snacks and food crumbs and leftovers we eat away from the crowds with our staff and helpers, Bibles, notes, hair spray, shoes, bathing suits, hangers, towels, ibuprofen, and lots of other little things. Somehow getting it all back in the bags the same way seems harder than when we started out.

I was bone-tired and was feeling  the weariness a little more with each year. The girls had been working long hours at registration, putting up boxes of books, setting up tables. They had spent countless hours running cash registers and putting gifts and chocolate out for all the women to enjoy, going to bed late and getting up early. Everyone did their job as expected without being asked or followed. Our family all knows the routine and what is expected.

But at this moment, as we were to check out of the hotel, and Sarah and Clay and I were walking down the hall to the elevator, Joy said, "Hey, wait! I want to get my sweater out of my bag. Just as I turned around to look at her, I saw her reach into her bag and accidentally dump the whole contents of her suitcase on the hall floor, with hair bands and brushes, shoes and books, shampoo and lip gloss, and a swim suit rolling everywhere.

A "You need to be more careful! Why did you hold up the suitcase when you were unzipping it?!" was on the edge of my tongue. I did not feel like putting down my suitcase, computer bag, purse, coat, and Clay's shoes that were all barely juggled in my grip. But, something inside me nudged my heart and I pictured this sweet teenage girl, working, greeting, smiling and helping all weekend long. I knew this was not the time to scold or to be impatient, though I felt all of this on the edge of my attitude, waiting to spill over.

I put everything down and walked toward her. "I am so very sorry it all fell out. You must feel so frustrated and if you are as tired as I am, you could use a real rest. Let me help you."

"By the way, did I tell you how amazed I was at how hard you worked this weekend? You were such a trooper. You are handling yourself like a pro. I can't believe you can work such long hours without anyone telling you. I really appreciate you, honey, and know you must be bone tired." I chattered as I picked up and folded with her. How thankful I was that the Holy Spirit had put his finger on my heart. I saw eyes of anger  and defense change into gentle eyes--glad to be understood. She really didn't drop this whole bag of clothes just to further irritate me on a tiresome morning! And  she really was a great 13 year old.

Grace--a cup of cold water to a thirsty body; a bouquet of flowers on a winter window sill; a kind patient timely word; a rescue to a four year old who drops his whole plate of food or spills one more cup of milk; a cup of tea for a hormonal girl; a back rub and chocolate chip cookies to an overwrought teen boy; instrumental music and a candle lit with a warm meal for a grumpy husband so worried about finances when he comes home from a hard day of work.

Grace is the undeserved and unforeseen act of kindness and patience that totally changes moments. It is the noble soul exercised toward the humble, needy and grateful.

I am so very thankful that I have received so much grace from my wonderful heavenly Father. He keeps loving and giving and bearing with me through all my immature and awkward moments of life. Grace changes everything and redeems amazingly. Just thoughts running through my mind on Sunday morning before church.

I received gifts of grace in my own moments of ministry the last few weeks. A beautiful blue Spode tea cup (one of my favorites now), with my favorite tea, with my favorite chocolates to encourage me in the midst. Friends who travel far and work with us, with no benefits to themselves, just for the joy of serving--these are graces that stay in my heart and speak to me of His love seen through the actions of others near by. A lovely hot meal waiting when I return from a trip.

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Because we were all so very depleted, we decided to follow up our "packing" Sunday morning with a breakfast on Crystal Cove beach with friends. Somehow, playing and restoring out in the beautiful California sea, followed up  with avocado and bacon omelets and whole grain, apple pancakes in a seaside cafe--was just the recipe we all needed to begin to restore our emotional equilibrium,  before engaging in life again in teh outside world. Taking time to fill our cups with grace was most needed.   Work hard, play hard. Laugh at least a little to keep the relationships intact. And now, this Crystal Cove visit has become a yearly tradition. Looking forward to playing always makes working easier.

I am grateful.

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Join me today at itakejoy.com where I will be writing about teaching your children to serve.

Perfect! Not a word high on my vocabulary as an expectation of life

Joy with two of her sweet girlfriends--none perfect but all precious.

I wrote the blog below a couple of years ago, but thought it might be relevant now. The hardest part for me and for my children as public figures is that our public life is so unreal compared to our personal lives. My children love just being home without anyone watching or expecting them to be "Clarksons." I am such a normal person who plods along, but my heart is for Jesus and He is all the good I have. So, though written a couple of years ago, still applies today! Here it is:

When I was in California recently, I had several experiences that were similar. Basically all of them were about how perfect they thought my life and kids must be. If I had expected perfection as a goal for my children, my marriage or my behavior, I know from the start I would be guaranteed failure. What about, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans"There is none righteous, no not one." Isaiah

"He is mindful that we are but dust." Psalm 103

"Wretched man that I am. Who will set me free?" Paul about himself in Romans 7One mom said, "It is easy for Sally to make her home a life-giving place. But I live in a condominium."

I began to learn to be life-giving when I was living in a tiny house (900 square feet) in Vienna whose walls leaked rain when we had storms and where we had pigeons in the attic (named them Walter!)

But it was there, when I looked out on a gray, drab apartment building outside my window, that was 8 stories high. All windows were the same, drab and dirty. But in one window sill, someone had planted a flower box full  of red geraniums. In a wall of gray, the beautiful flowers stood out like a flame.

I decided right then that I would be like that one apartment out of hundreds--that no matter how small or old, I would bring life and beauty to my home--that I would create life as God did.

But of course I learned as I went. It was not house beautiful, but beauty in the house.

Next came cooking and baking. Learned as I went. Some meals were a success. Some a failure. Some just not to the taste of my family. (Hate to waste my time on unappreciative people!)But this meant years of days of dirty dishes and pots and pans and bowls in the sink. Our home is always in the process of being in and out of messes.

Didn't ever even think about being a mom when I was a young single woman--hate to admit it but it was true! I wanted to be in love and get married, but I was never one of those who longed for a baby--eventually got to that, but had to learn how to love my children and my noisy home and all the demands. it was not natural to me--but I leaned into it and learned how slowly but surely.

As one of my children say, "Mom, our days have not been easy and we have had no support systems and I don't know how we made it, but we have lots of great memories."

I had to learn almost everything that I now do. I have taught myself to cook, decorate, educate my children, how to become more mature in marriage; how to do chores and work (didn't grow up doing it!), how to nurse my babies (even when one doctor told me that I might cause my child brain damage because I had been sick with the flu when she was born and she was a high risk baby.) Moved 17 times, had 3 asthmatics, 3 ocd kids, one adhd, fires (one in Vienna), floods (3 in our house), etc. (smile)

In the midst of such a life, there are lots of ups and downs. Children are immature and a mess, teens are self-centered and self-absorbed; and all are sinful. But, I have a picture of being a redeemer--bringing light in the darkness, moving along on the pathway of ideals and maturity one step at a time, while holding God's hand.

Same with my children. My goal was reaching their hearts with the love of God and showing them His reality, so that they could find His grace and truth every day. Now that is doable. All I have to do is love God every day. Love Him, and show Him to my children. Since I am not expected by God to be perfect, I don't expect them to be either. No one likes to live in a place where failure is likely to happen all the time. If moms expect perfection, then their children will want to run far from them. If women think God wants them to be perfect, they will always live in guilt and defeat or eventually want to quit their ideals, because there will be no joy.

Now, I will admit, that feeling inadequate is a mantle I am likely to wear many times, as I have always struggled with my "imperfect personality." Seems from time to time I put my foot in my mouth. But that is why I knew my children needed to live in a home of grace, because I needed God's grace every day.

It is as I seek to celebrate life, live in grace, know his love and appreciate His gentleness and compassion, that it grows in my heart. I have not always known how to walk this journey, but I have always had a hand to hold on to and wisdom to practice and apply.  It is journey--a long distance run. Not a perfect husband. Not a perfect wife. Not perfect devotionals or perfect method of discipline. Just a grace walk. Not perfect children--but children with great hearts, best friends, loving, living, laughing, sharing, arguing, being petty and then getting back to the center one more time to do it all over again.

Now I am off to eat a chocolate chip cookie--even my diet and self-discipline isn't perfect--but I think after a tiring year, I am going to just enjoy myself and rest and worry about losing 10 pounds in one week another time!

PS A great blog entry that you will love: http://www.goodmorninggirls.org/ Thanks sweet Angela!

What I am doing in the whirl of life

Sweet Friends,I miss being in touch with you. But at this moment my heart is full of joy and satisfaction. I see the goodness of the Lord and His faithfulness as I reflect on my life. I had so much fun last weekend. I was in Nashville with some friends that started a coop for moms with me 18 years ago. I taught passionately, at that time, that if a mom stayed centered in her walk with the Lord and loved Him in front of her children, that she would be fruitful and productive in everything she did. And I was convinced that all moms needed a support group of some kind--kindred spirits to pray with, to hold hands with, to giggle and have fun and cry with and who would keep each other focussed on the Lord and His ideals.

It was such an encouragement to me to see how faithful these friends had been to keep the small group system going in the Nashville area for all those years. They have kept the faith, loved their husbands, and their children and sought to build a godly legacy in their homes. We can all see the amazing faithfulness of the Lord. What a heritage I have found in friendships that hold together from the glue of doing ministry together. I had a chance to share a lot of these ideals with the new group of moms that have joined their small group and it is so good to see that foundational things never change, they just become more clear.

I also see that if we view God as loving and life-giving and redeeming--a God who is a champion for our cause and on our side and patient with us--and we live that out before our children in our home, they will catch it. But if we have in our heart thoughts about a God who is disappointed with us or condemning us, our children will read that God in our behavior and never learn the joy and love and grace of the Lord. I have so realized that those who water the right plants of faith, hope and love in their hearts, remain steadfast. How blessed I am to walk in the company of such women.

But before I spoke on Friday-Saturday, I had flown to Nashville a day early so that I could stay with my oldest, beloved friend, Gwen Todd, in Kentucky--the first friend who taught me the value of commitment and love in working alongside if her in ministry. We are indeed like sisters. Gwen moved back from Vienna, Austria to take care of her beloved mom who is 93 and has alzheimers.

Just happened Gwen didn't meet me at the airport. I found out that she was stuck in her Kentucky cottage with her mom and had been there for 3 days and nights without electricity, or lights or heat in the midst of the ice storm. She couldn't leave her home because of her mom's fragility. So, my sweet friend loaned me a car, I stopped at a store and quickly picked up a meal and drove to Kentucky. It was like a ghost town--no stop lights worked, no lights anywhere, trees fallen in the street that I had to dodge in the dark. But there ahead after 2 hours of driving through a lot of darkness, I saw a candle in the window of one house amidst a street of darkness--it was the candle my friend had lit for me! So I eased into her driveway. I actually knocked countless ice cycles off the bushes as I climbed out of the car. It was a winter wonderland even in the dark. When I went to the door, there was my sweet friend, with candles aglow everywhere. She had found out i was coming through a very short cell phone call that had finally, after 2 days, gone through, and had waiting for me some chips and cheese--the last fresh package of cold food.

What a fun memory we made eating in candle-light, storing up one more memory of adventure. How thankful I was to be of encouragement to her in the midst of feeling alone in the dark--as she has helped me through years and years of crisis in my own home and she adopted my children when there was no other family to love them. So I owed her in a big way and was so blessed to sit in our gowns, cuddled under piles of blankets and enjoying the candlelight and life.

Now, to a favorite meal Sarah and Joy and I have been eating since we got home from the Charlotte, NC conference. My friend Cindy was the inspiration for these. We sautee veggies--onions, carrots, chopped broccoli, mushrooms and some times peppers. We heat up wraps (lots of flavors and types at the store) and then smooth a bottom  layer of humus (or mashed pinto or black beans) then cover it with mashed avocado with lime or salsa, and spread our veggies over this and put chopped cabbage on top as our salad finish and wrap it up! Very yummie to us!

Books I am reading: Roll of Thunder, Hear my Cry--to Joy--what a great book about the depression and the racial conflict--building a lot of compassion into her; she is reading "A Lantern in her Hand," and I am loving Eugene Peterson's new book.

Sorry, but we are having to close the California conference as we have a full house. So looking forward to it. The February winners of the drawing are: The winners are Stephanie Praytor from Rockwall TX and Jennifer  Fitzgerald. congratulations, girls!

Thanks to everyone for your great help. Blessings to you all today! Sally

Interview with Diana Waring...

Hello! I'll post more later, but just wanted you all to know that I'll be on an interview with Diana Waring today on blogtalk radio at 3 o'clock, central time. Click the link below if you are interested in listening!

Upcoming conferences...

Good morning! Just a quick reminder- the California conference is filling up quickly and we are going to have to cut off registration soon, so if you are planning on coming, be sure to get your registration in today. Go here to register.

Also, the hotel rooms in Dallas are going very quickly, so be sure to reserve yours in time if you are planning on attending the Dallas conference. Click here for the Las Colinas Marriot.

I am looking so forward to these conferences. Have a beautiful day!

The Power of a gentle touch

"It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." And he lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold there was an angel touching him, and he said, "Arise and eat." I Kings 19:4-5

What a wonderful time we had in Charlotte with so many moms last weekend. Great talks and discussions and I think the Lord met with so many in their place of need. I was so grateful to be a part and was blessed by so many moms--seeing old friends, connecting with new--and later on, when I have time, I will even show you a new favorite tea cup that was given to me by an angel, but I have to hurry now as I have to teach a history class soon.

But, I do put a lot of energy into speaking and the older I get, I find myself completely drained afterwards. I feel like Jesus in the parable about the woman who touched the hem of his garment and "the strength went out of him." And so sometimes I feel, that "the strength literally goes out of me."

But last night, after we had been reading a book outloud and had a great dinner, Joy came to me and said, "Mom, I have a surprise for you. Go take a hot bath and before you get into the tub, I want to put an avocado mask on you that I was reading about." So, I obeyed gladly and she smoothed avocado all over my face with extra for the wrinkles.

After I got out of my bath, she made me close my eyes and led me by the hand into my bedroom. When I opened my eyes, she had gathered about 10 candles and lit them all over my room. She had put on instrumental music and laid out towels and a pillow for me to lay on. She then gave me a hand massage and filed my nails; gave me a wonderful foot message with great smelling lotion; and followed up with a back and shoulder massage. I cannot tell you how the stress went out of my body and I felt like I had been touched by an angel. I slept so soundly last night and every time I awakened, a smile came to my face as I remembered the service of this precious 13 year old and the last words--"Mom, I love you so much and I just wanted to show you my love."

Sometimes when I am exhausted or drained, I really don't need anyone to settle my problems or bring answers. I just need sleep or rest. But I also think there is a healing power to touch and affection. Her touch literally melted me last night and gave me rest.

I found over the years that often, the way to reach my boys was by scratching their backs or giving them a shoulder massage at night. I think it is so interesting that after Elijah was totally worn out after confronting Ahab and all of his entourage and also Jezebel, that he became depressed and discouraged. Then we read (two times) that the angel touched him and gave him food, after he had slept.

God has given us physical bodies. They need rest, refreshment and touch. Affection settles crying babies, it stimulates their minds and brain waves, it causes very sick people to get better. How grateful I am, that even though I didn't know I needed it, that God sent an angel to me last night to touch me and minister to me. It is the first time she has ever done this in such an elaborate way, but I will never forget this gift of love and the sweet friend who administered it to me!

Today, hug those you love, touch the disgruntled, kiss and scratch backs and you who are weary, get rest and sleep and relax and refresh. Grace and peace to you all.

Monday morning--again--conferences coming up!

Monday mornings before we leave for our first conferences are always filled with adrenalin and excitement and flurry at our house. This is the 13 year, so it is all familiar and yet each year is different. Sarah, Joy and I are preparing to fly to Charlotte on Wednesday and so we are putting last minute details together. (Like, finishing my talks--never quite ready ahead of time-maybe next year!) I am learning so much as I study scripture again! The foundations of faith, joy in the Lord, certainty of His design and calling and practical ways to know what it means to walk with Him and live a life of faith and confidence as a mom;  tips on discipleship and child discipline, developing anchors in your day that will build a great legacy; the importance of raising children to be gracious; the importance of reading outloud to children and the way to inspire great character; cultivating a great soul in your children through beauty, manners, appetites for great thoughts, art and music--are just a few of the topics my speakers and I will address. These are the topics for Charlotte, Irvine and Dallas/Ft. Worth. You can still go here to register. (And you still have a few more days to advertise the conferences on your own letters or blogs--as we will be picking our last two $50 winners February 1)

We are especially excited about our Mom Heart Morning meetings this year. They are just the beginnings of what we hope will be a movement of Moms leading and encouraging Moms all over the world. We hope to see generations changed because of the Biblical support and nurture of small groups. We are looking for writers, administrators, speakers and more. So join us, if you can, to be a part of the beginnings! Just be sure to let Jennice, our secretary, know Jennice  . 

Also, it is not too late to register for North Carolina's conference, but we need to know soon how many meals to order and how many note books to print. We have been praying for all who attend and for the Lord to bring those who especially need encouragement. You may also sign up here to sign up for conferences in Charlotte, California and Texas. (We will be drawing the last two $50 winners from those who announce our conferences again on February 1. Be sure to get your entry in after you put the announcements in and then tell us at whole heart.)

Also, some of you have noticed that I put another announcement at the top of my blog about an online seminar. My dear friend, Lori Lane, is hosting a web conference the same week that we are holding our Mom's conference in California. Sarah and I will both be speaking for a one hour slot for this confernence, but we will tape our talks as we will be in person speaking in California at the same time!

The talk I will give for the webinar will not be a talk from any of my other tape sets and will not be the from the talks I will be giving at this year's conferences. I will be speaking about the role that creativity played in my home and how to implement traditions and beauty and creativity into your schedule to enrich your children's souls. So, if you can't join us at our mom's conferences in the cities where we will be speaking the next 12 weeks, you can join us at the web conference. Lori told me that she will have more info on the site by tomorrow about how you can register if you want to, as I think the site doesn't have a lot of info at this point.

I would so appreciate your prayers as we travel. Please pray for moms to meet face to face with the Lord; pray for all the travel and health of our family and speakers, as we so need God's protection and strength; pray for us --especially my children--to have good attitudes and to be blessed by serving so many people. they work really hard and can be depleted, but they are truly troopers and a blessing. Please pray that my mind and talks will be clear and just what the Lord wants and that the Lord will keep all involved from the evil one.

It is such a privilege to be a part of what the Lord is doing through families. You are indeed essential, from the beginning of time, to God's design for life, children, families and righteousness growing on the earth. May He give each of you strength and grace and wisdom and love today for your many tasks and may you know that today, right in your own homes, souls are being shaped for eternity. Blessings, Sally

PS I love hearing from so many of you. It keeps me going. I am just so far behind on email and correspondence because of my book deadline last week and my computer being in the shop and the conferences. Hope no one falls through the cracks. Just because I haven't answered your letters doesn't mean I am not interested or appreciative. Please forgive me and know that I pray over my emails even when I don't have time to write back. You are all very special to me as I know we are kindred spirits in this stretching calling.

Rest and peace--ahhhhhhhh!

Jessie Wilcox Smith  one of my favorite artists of children! Go make yourself a treat and monkey around a bit!

Galatians 5:1 "It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." (especially stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.)

"And the work of righteousness will be peace and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17

I have seen some books and articles going around that suggest that moms don't really need a break from their children and that it is possible to be around them all the time without going crazy. Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I hope I don't step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women and make them feel guilty unnecessarily. This is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women at times without having to feel guilty for leaving their children.

I have come to really question truths like the one above because they come across as universal and sound wise, but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times?" Or is it possible that there is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind. "It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."

I wrote a chapter in Seasons of a Mother's Heart about legalism imposed upon us by others that produces burdens God never intended us to carry. I find it interesting that God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. No lists about just how to discipline a child, how long to spank, at what age, and for how long, for instance. Or no rule book about what a mom should cook if she was really bringing health to her family or what exact music was acceptable and what music would indeed lead a child astray. Or what it really looks like to submit to a husband-(they are all different and have different preferences!) Not ever a verse that says, "Every mother should stay with her children all the time every hour or else they are not spiritual and their children will go astray." Or, or, or. There is so much in scripture about living by faith, trusting God and Paul and Jesus were so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee and putting heavy loads on people.

Now, I find that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity and of course, I  came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my heart. But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, but as a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom and then living by faith and watching His grace. God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, If I walk it with Him.

There are so many wonderful teachers and speakers who have such a good heart and love the Lord and want to encourage. But the bottom line is the word of God is to be our ideal and not just "wisdom" from others that is extra-Biblical and not scripture--and I find God to be a better task master than most humans I have ever known.

I find that so many young moms lacked good families and they want to "do it right" with their own children, and so they are willing to believe anything in print or that they heard a speaker say and then put themselves under great burdens, in the name of Christian ideals, and then eventually find themselves wanting to give up ideals because they are very depressed or overwhelmed.

I find that the longer I walk with the Lord, the more freedom I feel to be who I am. I don't have to live by anyone else's laws. Clay and I just have to answer to God and scripture,  not to an arbitrary list of someone else's standards. I think that living overseas and traveling a lot has helped in this area a little. Every culture I see and national that I meet has a different tradition of worshiping God and a different set of circumstances to deal with coming from a different culture in applying the word of God. When I meet people from all over the world, I realize that God is so much bigger and beyond my own box. And yet, he allows all of us, from so many different points of view, to enter into His rest and redemption and forgiveness because of His wonderful, gracious love.

My real desire in writing this article, though, is to give moms permission to be themselves. There is no "one right way". Each of you has a different puzzle to solve--different children's personalities, husbands and even a different personality yourself. Some of you are introverts and some extroverts. But the bottom line is, that as a wise woman, you need to figure out how you can best make it in the long run--loving God and loving your family. 

I am a bit adhd and in order for me to make it as a mom of 4 children, who homeschooled and had very few support systems, I personally had to have variety in my life. If life got too stale, I would go under, so I would create adventure for me and for my children. I am also a bit introverted in some ways and if I am around people all the time for days and months at a time, I will indeed explode! Clay and I figured out that I could go to a coffee shop early a couple of days a week at 6 a.m. and have coffee and a quiet time and write in my journal and then come home by 7:45 a.m. and then he could go to work--and I felt like a different person and he was happy to take care of the kids during that time.  (Especially during the years Joy had nocturnal asthma every night for a year and a half--I needed a break just to keep sane!) I can't live without my quiet time, to think and plan and get perspective. Now there were plenty of times when the kids were sick or Clay was out of town or things just fell apart--and I didn't get time alone for weeks on end. But, I learned that for me to last well for a long time, I had to figure out how to find time in my schedule to have some alone time. 

Each season was different. I have found this season of my life as one of the hardest. (as I have no control over my sweet older kids needs or schedules and there is always an interruption--always and every day and every hour!) When my children were all little, I had a group--we were a clan! and could tell them when we would do things and then I had each child have a quiet hour every afternoon--I would put books in a basket for them and fun magazines and let them have a cup of something to drink--like hot cocoa--and then they would all have to stay in their own areas for an hour. It helped my kids to become readers and to learn to enjoy time alone, un-entertained. But it also gave me time to look forward to every day, where I could have my own cup of tea that no one else could drink and a little time to regroup or rest or make a phone call. Now, it wasn't perfect and there were lots of interruptions, but in general, it worked for me. It was an anchor for all of us to look forward to in our day. But this is not a standard for you--you might want something different or have a whole different kind of preferences to work with. I also would leave the house when we were having too much stress--go to a park, or a ride in the mountains to listen to music or a book on tape with Hot Chocolate to drink--as just getting out helped them and me!

Now, when my older kids are home, I am interrupted at every point. But I want so much to be with them and spend time with them and continue building on our relationship that I make myself available as much as possible. On holidays, I never know who is going to wake up when or eat when or come or go when, as they all have their own schedules and friends and commitments. So, I have had to make a new plan for this season. But, I would have gone under long ago if I hadn't figured out my personality and my needs and how to best stay on top of emotions and needs in the midst of always giving to others. I need to stay healthy  so that everyone else can find strength from me.

The Mama is the key. If she is watching over her heart with all diligence and her heart is becoming depleted and dry, then she needs a plan. Where can I go to become spiritually encouraged? What book can I read? What would fill my cup, emotionally, spiritually, physically and still fit the puzzle of my family?

Who can I spend time with that can encourage me? If a mom's heart stay's full, she will always have the strength to give to all those who need her. However, it is one of the attributes that I admire most--the ability to manage your life, so as to keep going and going. I had to learn that the sabbath rest was God's idea. I had to figure out how to take Sunday's as a day of rest so that I didn't burn out. I had to figure out how I could refresh and regroup after so many conferences, as this is the vocation Clay and I were called to. Clay is a real visionary and architect of new ideas and there is not end to what He might dream up. We married knowing that we would be committed to ministry until we went senile or died. It has meant a different life, schedule, commitments and responsibilities than almost anyone I know. But we worked together over the years to figure out what we needed as a family to protect our inner circle with each other and to keep our hearts warm to each other, the Lord and our children. But, if we read some of the books that are out there, we would have quit what we are doing long ago--because we don't fit the mold or anyone's idea of what a perfect schedule or balance to life is. Yet, we feel such a privilege to do what we do and we want to keep working all the more until we see Jesus.

But all that to say, God is on your side. He is so well pleased that you are seeking to please Him and to love your children and husband. He no more expects perfection out of you than He did of Peter! And He is not surprised when you blow it--as a matter of fact, he would probably say to you, (or me) "Sally, I know that when the cock crows (or the children push you over the edge) you are going to blow it. But take courage, because I have prayed for you that when you get yourself together again, you will strengthen the brethern" In other words, he would say, "I am with you. I understand you. I love you and I will help you make it. Now, go get some sleep or go have fun or go be with a friend and know that it will all be fine. I am the one in control--even of your children, their future, your finances, your mental health. Don't stress. Just rest--in me."

I have to live this way--it is the only way to maintain joy in the midst--to know that He will never, never leave me or forsake me. He will always love me. He is always my helper and good shepherd and prayer warrior and redeemer and model of how to live a servant life and yet still find time alone with the Father-- he is even now, building a great home for me to live in forever in eternity, which I can't wait to go to.

Grace and peace to all of you precious ones this January time of life. Sally Sally@wholeheart.org

PS I had so much fun Monday. One of my genius friends figured out that most of us had conference calling on our phone and so eight of us joined together for a conference call and we all prayed together for a long time and giggled and loved each other--for the community we were having over a phone call that connected all of our phones together. It was fun and so very encouraging to me and to Joy--as several prayed and prayed for her and it filled her heart, too. I am so blessed to have friends who will pray with me. You call one person and then put them on flash and then call another person. Then that person calls another person and puts them on flash and then calls another person and so on. If you find enough people who have this option on their phone (most phone agreements come with it!) you could endlessly connect with friends everywhere.