Shopping, dressing-up, and totally fun, irresponsibility--just what I needed!

One of my beautiful outfits! Sweater-shawl, scarf, bracelet, necklace, earrings!

Whew! Weeks of responsibility and giving out--my intensive, company, adult children with myriads of needs, still home educating Joy, dinners, dishes, financial struggles, little sleep, giving, giving, giving.......

And then He interrupts my life--with delight.....

The Lord is so very thoughtful at times, that I truly feel like His beloved. Arranging personal, focused blessings just for me so that I stand back and see that He knows, He knows my loneliness for my mother, even when I am not aware. He knows I miss being mothered, I miss being noticed. He sees what would delight me even when I would never have thought to ask.

For many years, my mother would go shopping with me each fall to pick out two "speaking" outfits. I would then wear them all year to every place I would speak.   "You need to be beautiful in all the places God has opened for you to speak. You have always been my little dolly and we will go out and make a celebration of it--you and me! That is my part in your ministry.

Adult time, spoiling me with lunch, little trinkets, talk, talk, talk,  buying me things that as a young mom I  could not afford, or would not afford because of all my little ones. Pretty dresses, or professional, classic outfits for meetings and interviews. Shoes to match and of course a new necklace or earrings.  A lunch and coffee and sweets at the end,  framed a special memory each year---just mama and me and the sharing of our hearts. "And you might just need this for a little something, as she tucked a $20 into my coat pocket." 

Mother-love providing, encouraging, nurturing, embracing, guiding, empathizing,  and listening--and that is what my sweet mom used to do. Sometimes I don't even realize how deeply I miss being "mothered."

I didn't realize how much I missed those yearly outings with her. The past 7 years, she struggling with an aging disease, has turned me more into an adult, little by little, who must call, write and send my love and care, while she stays day after day, needing help, care and pushing through it all, seeking to maintain a good attitude through the constant pain. I,  sometimes lonely and longing, in my consuming adult life and ministry, but rarely have time to stop to think about it.

Fast forward to this week. I left for 3 days to do ministry, to be with friends, to set up conferences. Life has required me to be so responsible, so task oriented, learning to go without needs being met. Little "me" time.

Ministering in California

Flying there for 3 days with meetings, personal  and strategic lunches, breakfasts and dinners, arranging conferences, teaching about communication skills, answering questions about mothering, leadership, guilt, books, education, the Lord, problems.

So often my life is fueled by adrenalin, searching through mind-files to engage with the question being asked, expending energy like money in a carnival, seeking to guide with the light pouring out of my soul with what He gave--and so serious, talk after serious talk, intentional conversation, all setting a standard my soul seems to follow obediently, step by step--one foot in front of the other. Always I enjoy these precious ones and enjoy hearing the stories. But sometimes I don't even know how drained my brain and body and heart have become amidst the path of my life.

Sometimes, sharing of dark, heart secrets that spill out slowly like a mist billowing slowly on a mountain pass in private meetings. Ideals passionately espoused amidst a call to intentional living. Disappointment spilling over through tears from misunderstandings amongst those they thought were most likely to love--fellow Christians. Divorce, abortions, anger, insecurity, failure, or inadequacy or fears--sometimes stories of redemption, love, growth, encouragement, inspiration. These the topics of my interactions, with precious ones I meet, hour upon hour. This my life in ministry. And yet....

How I love my California girls! Jeanna, one of my angel friends who dressed me like a dolly! Vicky and Lisa were her cohorts.

Yet, during a break, I was talking with three dear ones who have become sweet friends to me amidst ministry over the past few years.  "I love your necklace. What a cute shirt that is with the roses! I am so glad "feminine" is in style again. You all are so darling and fun--you need to tell me how I am supposed to dress!"

Conversations drifted to clothes, styles, contemporary expectations.

"You won't believe it, but we got a lot of what we are wearing at our church's bookstore! They have a section of clothing and jewelry that supports women in poor countries, where we have missions, so that they can be independent. All of it is produced there! We are going to take you over to the store and buy you an outfit."

And so, for almost two hours, they dressed me up. I felt like a little girl again. And I felt so very loved and blessedly noticed and  cared for! It was so much fun-necklaces--short or long, earrings dangling or studs, myriads of rainbow scarves-- maroon, navy, floral, solid, knit, silk, "That looks great." "She looks like she is sick in that color--get her something else." "Oh, that style flatters her! Let's get her two outfits!" Giggles, playing, talking-sheer fun, nothing serious, only playing and being girlfriends. I didn't even know how much I needed it. Water for my thirsty soul.

When my hostess and dear friend picked me up for dinner after our shopping was all finished, we had a leisurely few minutes together before our next meeting. All of a sudden it hit me--my mom wasn't able anymore to help me pick out my two outfits, but maybe the Lord knew deep inside I needed to know that someone still wanted me to have fun--not just responsibility--but fun, love and a memorable light-hearted afternoon. I now have two darling, speaking outfits, but I also feel noticed, cared for, and had a whole lot of unexpected fun.

Thank you, my angel friends for taking time with me for fun and for love. I love each of you so much.

Fall ~ A New Season for Heart Work--focusing on the eternal

Julian Aiden Weir  Autumn Rain The leaves are starting to turn from various shades of green to vibrant oranges, golds, and reds. Crisp morning air greets us as we close the bedroom windows, before heading downstairs to brew a hot cup of tea! A fresh, new season is just around the corner! As many families prepare to go "back to school," our hearts wonder what God has in store for us next, what classes He has enrolled us in. Is it "Patience 101" again?! Will I learn more about His love? Grace? Discipline?  I am in his school room of holiness as I model and teach my own how to walk daily with Him.

Fall has always felt to me like the real "new year" and I have great anticipation to have a new slate, with, as Anne of Green gables said, with  no mistakes made yet, all new possibilities. So it is exciting to see how the schedule will come together and what we will pursue in the way of commitments and activities.

Fall is also a strategic time to reflect on our children's character and our own. Making sure my calendar is not so crammed with activities and lessons that the only time I have with Joy  is in the car is a filter for the commitments I am willing to make.

Fall is a reflective season in which to take some time to pray over each of my children, asking the Lord for wisdom in how to help each child grow in their faith--those who are in my house and those who are far away.  I ask God to show me their potential, their gifts, their temptations, the areas in which they need to grow. Wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit, who has access to my children's hearts, minds and souls. As I read the word and pray, He impresses me with those thoughts that lead me to be a more intentional leader and mentor of each of them with their own unique personalities and needs.

Joy will finish her formal schooling in May. It will mark for me the end of my commitment to homeschooling, which started 26 years ago, so I want to end well. As an extrovert, she would like to be busy every day, every minute! Participating in a 3 practices a week drama troop, with many performances this fall (The Importance of Being Ernest), will keep her quite busy. Added to that is dance, her history group, Inklings group, piano lessons, voice and small discipleship group, and we are pretty booked--let alone my own ministry schedule which I fit in between her commitments.  She wanted to take some more outside classes (she is a driven personality--easy to finish on!)

But this will be my last focused opportunity to really drive home the deep messages of Christ, to read the last round of great books, to cultivate discussion, to build into her heart, to have those last cozy tea times, just Joy and me, and watch the Holy Spirit turn our time into memories that will feed her soul for her whole life.

So, I limited her from signing up for college pathways, the two classes her friends were taking. Why? Not because they were not good classes, but they would have robbed me from the chance to intentionally use this year to touch her heart for eternity! Probably, for me it would have been easier if she could have taken outside classes that I didn't have to teach, and I have certainly loved so many of our coop classes that she has taken.

But, I prayed about my schedule and really felt the Lord tell me to "Make time for building into her life." And so I am planning and choosing books and arranging some social gatherings in our home that will make this a great year for her and for me.

In light of this, I thought I would share with you some of my previous thoughts about my own children as I was discipling them through the teen years. Chapter 6 in The Ministry of Motherhood is devoted to inspiring a sense of purpose in our children's lives. In that chapter, I tell about how then sixteen-year-old Joel and I discussed his possible career choices. Here is an excerpt from pages 72 and 73:

Jesus' work in a person's life has always begun with a call to leave behind the goals, purposes, and distractions of this world and to say yes to a whole new life, a new way of thinking. "Follow me" is what he told the disciples as he recruited them. And they did, abandoning their fishing nets, their tax-collector's moneybags, their permanent homes, their everyday duties and pleasures. And they never went back. Sure, they still did a little fishing from time to time! But once they made the choice to follow Jesus, their lives were forever changed. They never returned to "normal."

I think this is vital for us to keep in mind as Christians and as parents. We know we are called to follow Christ, to take his message to the world, to raise our children to heed Jesus' call. But  sometimes I think we fail to consider that following the Lord might mean leaving behind the ordinary and the familiar. It means exchanging a temporal view of life for an eternal goal. And this may mean leaving behind things we really care about -- involvements and pursuits that seem important and worthwhile but may not be God's best for us.

Part of giving the gift of inspiration is helping our children understand this -- and perhaps reminding ourselves. To fulfill God's design for their lives, our precious children must at some point determine to give Jesus allegiance in every aspect of their lives. There is a cost to discipleship, and that cost is everything!

Exchanging a temporal view of life for an eternal goal. Our lives will not reflect the world's values. As mothers, we are life-givers. Our culture encourages us to live for the moment. But how does that give life? How can being selfish bring about an eternal goal of holiness? Many times we allow a behavior to continue, thinking we will "get back to it" when it is more convenient, but does that time ever come? We want to give our children every possible opportunity to be creative, to find their strengths and weaknesses. Do we ask why we are involved in so many activities? Will this produce eternal fruit? Or just weariness? Sometimes we need to take a break from our normal routine to see just how out of control we are. Sometimes the Lord allows something into our lives to slow us down, to help us focus on what He really wants us to do.

As Christian moms, our hearts' desire is to follow the Lord and do His will. We want to set a godly example for our children. God has a plan and a purpose for our lives, but we need to make ourselves available to Him. When we surround ourselves with busyness, we cannot hear His still small voice. Let's look at some Scriptures that remind us of who He wants us to be.

Some Biblical Wisdom

Philippians 1:6 says, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

What will God do in your life? When will He finish that work? How does this encourage you in your walk with Him and in your children's spiritual growth?

Meditate on these words from Isaiah 55:8-9: "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,' declares the Lord.

'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways

And My thoughts than your thoughts.'"

Can you think of a situation where God's ways were not your ways? Why are His ways better than our ways?

Ephesians 2:10 is a great reminder that the Lord has a plan for our lives:

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

Who are we? We are created in Christ for what? Who prepared the works for us to do? What work has God created you to do? Does God know why He has given your child his or her particular personality? Does He have a plan for leading them to their life's work? How can you encourage each child to pursue what God has uniquely prepared him or her to do?

Application

Put together a puzzle with your children. Leave a couple of pieces out so the puzzle cannot be completed. Use this to explain:

• How God has specific good works He wants each of us to do. If we do not do those works, there will be "holes" in our ministry to others? What will be the holes in the lives of others that could have been filled if we had followed God?.
• How God wants us to surrender our entire lives, not just certain pieces. He wants us to be complete in Him.
• If our life was a puzzle, God would keep working in our life until it was complete. He would not give up!

As you pray over your children, take time to listen to God's voice. Is this the school year to simplify and focus on things of eternal value instead of trying to do it all? Is this the season to fall into His arms and just rest? May the Lord give you wisdom as you seek His purpose in your life!

Whole Heart Mom's conferences coming soon!

This Month at Whole Heart

This time of year is always the most visionary at Whole Heart, as we try to envision and plan the coming 12 months of ministry events, books, speaking, and more. We have to jump in with both feet and all hands on deck (that sounds a bit awkward, but you get the picture). It's all we can do to keep up with God as he leads us forward. In all honesty, though, this is also our most challenging time of year financially when we need, more than any other time of the year, partners in ministry who share our hearts for Christian parents and families (see "Learn More" note at the bottom of this letter). We appreciate your prayers and support.  

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Whole Heart EVENTS...

The Mom Heart Conference season is coming together. We'll have online registration pages up early in October, but here are the dates and states so you can make plans to join us. We also have some one-day Mominars and speaking events on the calendar:

2010 October 8-9: Chicago, IL, Apologia Live, Sally October 12-21: Northeast speaking trip, Sally (* see below) October 21-23: Relevant Blogging Conference, PA, Sally November 6: Nashville, TN, Mominar, Fellowship Bible Church 2011 January 22: Colorado Springs, CO, Mominar (tentative) February 4-5: Irvine, CA, MH Conference, Mariners Church February 18-19: Irving/DFW, TX, MH Conference, LC Marriott March 4-5: Raleigh-Durham, NC, MH Conference, Hilton RDU March 18-19: Open Date, MH Conference, To Be Announced* Sally will be traveling in the northeast with her history group in Philadelphia, Boston, and New York City. She is speaking in Boston and New York, and is willing to speak in Philadelphia, or meet with your group one of the evenings. Please send her an email to let her know if you would like to have her speak to your group!  

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Whole Heart ONLINE...

We're still navigating a major online makeover. For those who care about such things, we're moving all of our online ministries to the WordPress platform--websites, blogs, and pages. The primary website at WholeHeart.org has already been moved, but we still have a lot of work to do on it (graphic updates, new pages, and more). A new website for Mom Heart Ministry at MomHeart.org will launch very soon, and a Mom-e-Net social network for mothers at MomHeart.net is under construction. Sally's blog, ITakeJoy.com, will move to WordPress this month, and we'll launch Disciplinology.com and other new blogs throughout the fall.

The main websites will also get a full e-commerce makeover, with upgraded webstores. We hope to have all of Sally's messages since 1996 online soon for ordering as single CDs or MP3s. We'll also be updating our Facebook presence for both Whole Heart and Mom Heart, and coordinating our blogs and social media. All that to say, stay tuned...we're getting there.  

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Whole Heart PRESS...

Whole Heart Press is caught in a publishing "Catch 22" for the moment. We have several core books that have gone out of print that need to be edited, redesigend, and printed. We need them for the ministry to make money, but we need money to make them for the ministry. Chicken...egg. We're believing God for the funds to put these books back in print. Here are the books waiting patiently in line:

Educating the WholeHearted Child, 3rd Edition (Clay) -- Anticipating a December release from Apologia Press. Heartfelt Disciplne (Clay) -- Needs to be edited and reset for a fall or early 2011 release. The Mom Walk (Sally) -- Needs to be edited and reset for an early 2011 release. Journeys of Faithfulness (Sarah) -- Being rewritten for a pending contract. Early 2012 release. Just David (Clay, ed.) -- Needs to be reset for a softcover edition for early 2011 release.

We are also working on new books, but you'll have to wait until they're farther along to hear about them. We also have many public domain titles we'd like to put back in print, but we need to hire someone to do that work. And, we're working on books for Mom Heart Ministry. So many projects...so little us!  

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Whole Heart MINISTRIES...

Whole Heart Ministries is an umbrella for different ministry efforts to encourage and equip Christian parents, which include:

Mom Heart Ministry -- This new small groups initiative for mothers continues to grow and expand. Although it is under the umbrella of WHM, it is swiftly becoming its own ministry. Sally's Mom Heart Mom-e-Letter will focus on developments with Mom Heart. Since you received this email, you will also receive the Mom Heart Mom-e-Letter. We recently had 50 women in our home in Monument for two days and three nights of Mom Heart Leader Intensive Training. Many of those women will help us develop Mom Heart Ministry with mom blogs, a Mom-e-Zine, the new website and social net, Bible studies, and more.

Whole Heart World -- Sally has encouraged parents and mothers in China, the Middle East, Australia, and New Zealand in recent years. Several of her books are in six foreign languages. We are looking into making ebook versions of our core books available to overseas parents. We are just one family trying to minister to other families, yet God is using us around the world.  

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Please remember Whole Heart Ministries in your prayers. We are trusting God to provide for our financial needs this month so we can continue to help Christian parents raise wholehearted Christian children. May God richly bless you and your children as we enter a new season. Wholehearted blessings in Christ.

Clay Clarkson

LEARN MORE: If you would like to learn more about how to help Whole Heart Ministries financially at this time, please let us know so we can add you to our Whole Heart Partners email list. If you click here to let us know of your interest, we will send you a recent email that was sent only to our Partners list.

MAKE A DONATION: if you would like to help now, click here to make a donation now by using Paypal. Thank you for partnering with us to encourage and equip Christian parents around the world. Whole Heart Ministries is a 501c3 nonprofit ministry, so your donation is fully tax-deductible. As a faith ministry, we depend in part on the generous gifts of supporters that enable us to fulfill the mission God has given us to strengthen families. We appreciate your partnership with us.

SEARCH AND GIVE: You can also help Whole Heart, and yourself, simply by searching on the Internet. Every time you do a search using Goodsearch.com Whole Heart will receive a donation. How easy is that?! You can search from their online site, or easily download their GoodSearch Toolbar and search right from your desktop (that's what I do). To get started, go now to Good. When GoodSearch asks, "WHO DO YOU GOODSEARCH FOR?" simply type in "Whole Heart Ministries" and start searching and giving. Easy. You can also use GoodShop.com to receive great deals and discounts, and the online site sends us a gift for us sending them a customer. GoodSearch.com helps thousands of charities and ministries, and has a sterling reputation. It's just a little bit from each search, but the more who use it, the more it helps. Thanks for helping!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble

Nicolaes Maes Dutch Painter Woman seeking God, as we have all sought Him throughout the ages.

Late Wednesday evening found us drinking hot chocolate, talking lively as somehow, stories and history of our past started bubbling out of each of our children. These stories focussed on a number of times when our family has been injured by other Christians or greatly criticized unjustly by others. It is painful at times to see the results of hurts through the eyes of my children when I know that they have been deeply wounded in our own journey towards the Lord.

From the beginning of scripture, we see that evil and tests are around every corner. Cain killed Abel out of jealousy. There are Ahabs; Jezebels; wicked and selfish kings, including Saul who was after David to kill him; giants in the land, Hamans who want to kill all the jews; Judas's and Job's friends who misunderstand; Pharisees--God's leaders--who become the murders of the righteous.

I did not know or understand this when I first started out in ministry. I was shocked by how very cruel people could be--poisonous in some cases. There have been trials in our lives that I will probably never write about, because I believe loyal love is an important standard in my life and there are those I am not willing to expose. Yet, the battles our family has been through are numerous and quite difficult.

And, in a few cases, the wounds are still fresh enough on our children's hearts, that I can still see they have been deeply hurt. "No wonder I have been tempted to wonder if God loves us or to doubt in people's ability to be faithful. If you look at our lives, it is amazing that we have even kept beileving God, with all that He has put us through!"

Yet, these have been the stories of our lives. It is in the midst of trial that our children really see what is is like to trust God. They will have battles if they intend to live godly lives. They learn how to live godly lives by hearing our words as well are watching our faith.

There are so many other ways to experience deep pain and sadness.  There are wars, illnesses, lack of money, wickedness seemingly going unhindered, no community, loneliness, heartache.

Yet, above and beyond all, there is God.

I love Psalm 22, the prophetic psalm that was on Jesus's lips when he died.

"My God, my god, why have you forsaken me?"--this to the jews was the title of the Psalm as they knew the first lines to define what psalms were being addressed. And so Jesus had this as a comfort in his heart as he heard it all the years, because the first line did define for him the temptation he had at the cross.  Verse 2 says, "I cry by day, but you do not answer, And by night, but I have not rest,

but then the next verse says it all, "Yet, thou art holy, Oh thou who art enthroned on the praises of Israel, in thee our fathers trusted. They trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out, and were delivered; In you they trusted and were not disappointed."

This is our hope--we call out to God. We call out to Him who is our Father and longs for us to come to Him. He is faithful. He is holy. He is deeply involved in our lives.

There are those battles that go on in our heart, when no one else can see--Is God really good? Does He really care? Can I really trust Him? Is He ever going to answer our prayer? Can He forgive me, again?

And then we are tempted to take things into our own hands--whatever that might be. Why do I know this? Because I have lived in this place many times.

Even now, our family is in a crisis. Yet, always we have a choice. Will we trust God. Will we celebrate His reality? Will we believe in the darkness even when we cannot see any way out?

Fatih is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. We believe, not in what is around us or what we can see. We believe in what we cannot see--God, His promises, His faithfulness, His ways which are different and above our ways--this is what His Word tells us. Will we listen to Satan's voice, the accusations that God does not see us? that God does not care? That God cannot help us this time?

Faith--This is the only way to please God. To trust Him. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, we read in Hebrews. Faith is brightest when we live in the darkest hours--the most impossible time to believe.

It is why I began this blog, I take joy! Through all the difficulties of our lives, I did not want to be overcome by the darkness, I did not want to be a victim. I made a decision: I will take joy, I will choose light, I will live in forgiveness.

I choose to believe in His goodness and not look at the dark. I choose to celebrate life because I am redeemed and Paul tells me in Romans 8 that nothing can separate me from God's love. I choose to be gracious because God has been gracious to me.

God allows us these trials that we may live boldy before others to show that we are not those who shrink back, but those who believe.

But God also cares deeply for us--He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He understands your wounds. He cares deeply that you are feeling pressure, hurt, sadness or harm. He deeply loves you. But we must open the eyes of our heart and look for that love and wait for His strength and answers.

It is why I wrote Dancing with my Father. God, my father, is in charge. He knows what He is doing. He knows what He is building into our lives when we do not understand what is going on. I will hold His hand, I will praise His name, I will wait for His timing, because He will be faithful.

Though we are all tempted to trust in man or money or despair in our lives, may God be our hope today. May we bring Him deep pleasure as He sees us praising Him, loving Him, hoping in Him, so that when He has brought forth justice in our lives and answered our longings and prayers, we will have had the privilege of living a story which will indeed show His reality and His faithfulness to be true.

Hold on and worship all you precious ones who are living in the midst of great difficulties. He cares for you. He is with you. He loves you. May you and may I and my family always rest in Him.

We will be like Jesus in the prophetic psalm 22: 22 and following:

I will tell of Thy name to my brethren, In the midst of the assembly, I will praise Him, and stand in awe of Him, ..., For He has not despised nor abhored the affliction of the afflicted. Neither has he hidden His face from him; When when he cried to Him for help, he heard.

I am praying for so many of you today who are hurting. May you know His love, generosity, grace and peace and may you feel His abiding love. Grace and peace.

Amazing Music: The source of health and academic excellence!

Jean-Marc Nattier French painter

Every night at my dinner table when I grew up, my mom would light candles on the dining room table and put on some kind of music. My father used to play a "horn" as he would call it, and was of the Glen Miller sort of musician. He wiggled and danced and always whistled through life. A businessman in the day, but played at life and always loved having music around.

This is one habit I picked up and found myself providing in my own home: music every night--even if we had cereal or toast and cheese, we just made music and candles and talking an anchor in our day. Without realing it, this music had profound influence on my children's tastes and appetites on their lives. I then began to see that music helped in so many areas.

Giving my children Michael Card's lullabys at night (sleep sound in Jesus) when they went to bed, Steve Green's music to verses for children as they readied for bed; or Avalon or Rich Mullins or Josh Groban when we washed dishes or cleaned house, seemed to smooth the way.

Riding in cars on long trips to conferences found all of us constantly listening to and sharing music of every sort--from classical to celtic to Christian worship music to indy artists. We all got through so much of life with music as our companion. With Clay as a guitarist and both of us singers, we had melodies surrounding our home morning, noon and night.

Scripture tells us to, "make melody in our hearts to God," and he commanded the Levites to have those who played music every hour of the day. Angels sang at the birth of Jesus, David had an orchestra playing with choir singing when bringing in the arc of the Lord. Music honors God, and somehow is a mysterious part of life and beauty for us in His design and creation. Even the stars sang, Job tells us, at creation--melody must have been in God's heart from the beginning.

How fun it was to me to read these articles and see just how important music is to our brains and to helping cultivate happiness, well-being and even undergirds intelligence development. Enjoy these articles.

Amazing Power of Music Revealed

Classical Music: An effective antidepressant

Family Heritage that Inspires Leadership

                      Family Day, 2010

Sarah, 26--author,  Nathan, actor in Hollywood 21; Joy, 15, singer-songwriter; Joel, 24,        composer, Boston.

"I will make you to become fishers of men." Jesus to his disciples

Having lived long enough to observe many Christian families--with every kind of educational choice, I have pondered, "Why is it that some children stay faithful to God and some children give in to moral pressure?"

I have pondered this question a lot, because I know so many wonderful parents, who have raised their Christian children with a great education, good training and Biblical ideals. It is not an easy world for our children to enter into and I know that there are no formulas.So, I do not pretend to have all the answers.

I get lots of questions about what did we do to reach their hearts? Mostly what we have written in our books. But I do try to acess those principles of family, that I think could have contributed to our children growing up to love and serve the Lord. I have no guarantees that they will stay on this path, but I do feel that there are some wise ways that have helped to give them foundations that have served them in the wide arenas where the Lord has taken them.

I think that often times parents inadvertently have as their goals to train their children to become moral, (not get pregnant or get on drugs),  to know all the Biblical stories, or to understand how to make good decisions. And yet still miss the heart of our children--that they want to be loved and they want to know their life has meaning and purpose to God. Post moderns do not accept hypocrisy or rituals just because we have done them for many years.

Education presents another issue. We so much want our children to excell that we can also get distracted on these issues. It is easy for homeschooling parents to be so focussed on what curruculum to buy or for all parents to focus on SAT scores or lessons, opportunities, training, that they can leave out the real purpose of parenting--to build our children into godly leaders to who will be faithful to the gospel messages in thier life time. This is the only goal worthy of reaching their heart's cry for purpose and meaning in such in immoral and lost world.

What they must know-God has created us to be stewards of His kingdom messages

However, I think that in order to make it in this world, we must understand that our children need something more vital. We must captivate our children's heart with a vision that gives them a foundational calling on their lives--to give them something bigger than themselves to live for.

It is what Jesus did with his disciples. He didn't say, "Follow me and I will make you law-keepers."

Many unwittingly do this with their children and I see when we focus on keeping all the rules, we are in danger of building "Future Pharisees of the World." But Jesus purposefully pointed his words to their deisre to become leaders--to be those who would influence others.

From the time our children were born, we taught them that they were born with their unique personality, drives and dreams to bring God glory in and through their lives. We have said, "I wonder how God will use you in the world to show people His light?"

When practicing piano, "Maybe God will use you to bring great music to soothe and comfort people."

Or, look at Daniel. Even though he lived in a foreign country that believed in idols, he was so godly and used his position with such wisdom and influence, that 60,000 non-jews wanted to return to Jerusalem to worship the God of Daniel. I wonder if God will use you as a Daniel in your life-time.

What they must be--servants

But then, our children need also to see us using our lives to bring truth and redemption into the world. They need to see that we invest our money in missions, for the homeless, in our church, to help the poor. They need to see us teaching Bible studies or sharing Christ, or serving children, using our home as a center for life and ministry.

What they must do--serve and reach out alongside us while they are growing up

If we want our children to have as their self-image, someone who has a call on their lives, then we must give them an opportunity to practice while they are with us. Our children have served at Homeless shelters, hosted so many different types of outreaches in our home (Bible studies, Christmas parties to reach our neighbors, kids parties, giving up their bedrooms for guests, serving meals, make dinners for sick or lonely people, serving at our conferences, praying alongside us and then serving and giving up their time and money alongside us.)

Another tradition we implemented in our lives was Family Day.

Why do you always have your children fly home in August--it isn't Christmas or Easter? This question we often hear from our friends when they find out we save the end of August to be a family.

Clay and I got married on August 30, so we dedicated a weekend day every year around this date to celebrate "What it means to be a Clarkson!"

We have a feast of a breakfast--homemade cinnamon rolls, cheese, bacon, scrambled eggs; and drink of choice. Then we spend the next couple of hours reading through the passage in Joshua 4:1-24, remembering how God wanted the Israelites to document and remember what He had done in their lives to show His strength and reality.

Following the reading, we all participate in a time of telling and writing down the ways we have seen God work in our lives through the year--prayers He answered; provisions He made when we needed Him, blessings He gave, ways that He led. And every year we are amazed, when we take the time, to see how God has worked. This year, there seemed to be a constant thought of God being with us all in our specific places--providing and leading in ministry, in Boston, in LA, in decisions--God with us through all that we needed.

We then pack a picnic of homemade fried chicken, Texas chocolate sheetcake, baked beans, chips, deviled eggs,  and head up to a national park where we hike, and take a zillion pictures and have fun. It has become a tradition over the years to stop on the way down the mountain at a Starbucks and get a favorite drink. This day usually ends in a game night or movie night.

Sunday afternoon, we have a family tea time and spend the next couple of hours sharing what our needs are, telling each other our prayer requests, and then spend time praying for each other.

It has given us a sense of history as a family about how God is working in our lives and telling His story of faithfulness through the details of our life.

Intentionally Reminding them of their roots and of their ideals

Then, when my out of town children are home, I always take them out for their own time. I encourage them and tell them how much I have seen them grow and how I see God moving in their lives. I tell them I pray for them every day. Often, if the Lord brings to my mind areas in which I feel they need encouragement to grow, I share that as well. Become less selfish, more of a peacemaker,  reach out, cultivate more discipline in reading the word every day, and so on. And then I have a time of praying blessing over them.

Yesterday, as I drove Nathan back to the airport to return to Hollywood, he said, "You know, these times at home with the family help to keep me anchored--just to be with "us", our ideals, meals, fun, times in the word and to remember who we are helps me so much. Thanks for flying me home--and just keep praying for me!"

It does take our time--cooking, cooking and more cooking. It does take our energy--no sleep, lots of noise, messes and so many discussions. It does take planning and giving up our normal schedule and putting things aside for a couple of weeks, while we are all together--just as I put my whole life aside when they were small. But, I think, even as Jesus gave up his 3 years to build and teach and refine and remind his disciples, it is the same intentional process that builds and nourishes souls who will understand God with them, God working through them and God as the provider for them.

Our anniversary celebrating 29 years of adventures!

 This beautiful field of wildflowers is why I have been constantly crying and sneezing and scratching my eyes in the past 2 weeks!Hmmmmm---what is this about?

Twas the night before anniversary, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Mama drugged with allergy meds, and I in my jams, had just settled down for a short summer's nap.

When down on the stairs, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away down the stairs I flew like a flash, tore open the vent, and there in the hallway, the blaring sound clamored.

5:07 a.m. Allergy medicine cradled my body and mind in the deepest of sleep when suddenly an ambulance two toned sound startled me awake. Trying to grasp where I was and what was happening, I opened my eyes to see Clay jump out of bed, heading toward the place where the sound was coming from. Within seconds Sarah popped down the stairs with utter amazement and Joel was mounting up the basement stairs sleepily staring all around to see what was going on.

Seems we have an alarm system that we didn't even know we had and it was hidden in the heating vent below our stairs on our main floor. So stopping the sound required unscrewing the vent, and dismantling the wires that were connected to the alarm. How can you live in an home 5 years and never know you have it connected? After settling down from the noise, (which Nate and Joy slept right through!), Clay and I sat in our mom and dad chairs in the our den with cups of tea to soothe our frenzied minds. 

He looked over at me sheepishly and said, "Happy 29th anniversary." Guess this is a little like our whole lives--unexpected adventure and different interesting moments all along the way!

Anyone else out there having adventurous days?!

This impossible, difficult, relentless life--a call from God!

"He endured the cross, despising the shame, and has now sat down at the right hand of the throne of the God, His Father."

Early mornings on my front porch, light fog mysteriously dancing amongst the trees, shimmering aspens singing soothingly--a perfect atmosphere. Sweet moments stolen away from the rest of the sleeping household afforded a time for friendship to be celebrated, hearts to be shared and stories to cherish. My treasured friend, in the same season of life as me, commented on the impossibility of our earlier lives. Multiple moves, loneliness, fears, both of us with a child out of the box, mysterious and spending some childhood years expressing anger, both of us saddled with children who had medical and mental illness issues,  out of the box anxiety as a way of life for them,  and causing havoc in our homes. Both of us living on financial support that was sometimes enough and many times just a prayer away. Both of us knowing the deep feelings of anxiety wondering if we were ruining our children when we saw starkly in the daily-ness of life our own inadequacies. For me, rare support from my family who also wondered if I was ruining my children.

And then there were the messes, longing for time alone, fusses, educational pressure, peer pressure from those who expected more from my children than they would expect from children whose parents were not writers and speakers. And then just the coming to the end of myself--over and over again--and not knowing how I was going to make it, but somehow finding myself a year further along. 

Marriage between two fragile and extremely different, self-centered immature people came crashing in the tension amidst the most stressful moments. Yet, loyalty, a character quality  of Him, my teacher, who designed marriage,  taught us to hold on, to give grace, to love beyond our human capacity and to live in His power--by faith, by hope, by needing to believe that it all mattered.

Sweet memories and struggles, failures and victories shared, made our friendship grow in value. We had both traveled this impossible road, in different cities, sometimes different continents, cried, struggled, prayed and begged God for relief.

But, still we kept on, one step at a time in faith in the one who had placed these eternal, precious human beings in our hands, whose souls would have value through-out all eternity. These He entrusted to our hands, our hearts, our lives. And so, to honor Him, we pushed beyond the dark times and strained for the light--His light. Because we knew He had called us--He designed us to civilize, to impart wisdom, grace, righteousness and strength, even though we had to learn it as we went. But faithfulness pushed us along because we had pledged to Him our lives--all of our lives--and wanted to please and protect all that He entrusted into our hands.

And now we see the fruit. It did matter--this keeping going, straining to hold onto our ideals. Our children, yet growing, took into their very souls, our love, heart messages, sincere worship of Him, and are now living it out in their arenas against odds as they live their own impossible lives.

But the sharing of our failures and fears, the struggles, the inadequacies--these are what women long to hear--that they may know there is yet hope for them in the midst of their own impossible life.

It is out of learning to receive God's forgiving love amidst sin, grace and beauty in the mundane, seeing impossible prayer answered when hope was gone, living through all the thousands of mundane moments that I have a platform to minister--to reach out to others--out of compassion for what I have already struggled through--this is real ministry--not perfection but grace in my inadequacies, not performance, but believing in His ability to take my paltry offering and making it holy.

Often, even now, I wonder how I made it this far. Grace, all grace.

The danger of following any writer or speaker is that it is so very easy to imagine by the words they craft, that they are somehow anointed--they made it because they were more perfect or more mature--

In my case this is not true. I have sinned, yelled, struggled, feared, lived in darkness--yet, learning I was in a battle for souls, somehow I kept going one step at a time.

When I wrote Dancing with my Father, and studied the issue of Biblical joy, it somehow encouraged me to know that David, who penned, "In His presence is fullness of joy," is the same one who often despaired for his very soul. "Where are you, oh God? Why have you hidden your face from me."

Even Jesus himself was beset by sadness (a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief). He despised the shame he experienced when being spat upon, being manhandled, whipped, scorned--even while he was being perfectly obedient to God--he despised shame, cried for the death of a friend, was often (at least 3 times) trouble in His spirit.

So, though this life can seem to be difficult, relentless, and yes, impossible, we are in good company when we struggle. We have a high priest who prays for us. We have a sympathetic shepherd who experienced the same. Yet, this is our gift, that even as he stayed faithful amidst his battles for the sake of redeeming us, His children, so He will give us strength to stay strong, to serve and love, so that in pleasing Him, we may stay devoted to our own precious children. Grace to you precious ones through it all.

Still learning how to give up "my" time!

“Children, by definition, take up our time.  They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them.”

“I was called to give up my rights simply out of my love for Jesus.”

“To have significant energy for the task, we must make the choice to embrace motherhood wholeheartedly.” Mission of Motherhood (Sally Clarkson)

Careening down the highway in my little blue, crv, stuffed to the gills with moving, warm bodies of my larger than life children (6 foot 5, 6 foot 3, 5 foot 10, 5 foot 6 and me), rocking to the rhythms and bass of the contemporary favorite tunes from ipods, I felt a deep happiness come over me.

Giggling, laughing at inside jokes, being too loud, sharing opinions and being happy to be in each other's company brought a whisper prayer of thankfulness to God, for all he has built into our family culture to make each of these each other's best friends. That my children want to be together and want to be with me is deeply satisfying, knowing that all of them have a bigger life than just our family.

Bribing all of my captives with a breakfast out to a 5 star hotel, a sweet memory from our past when they had done this, opened the door to making one more great memory. I hoped would continue to tie the threads of our souls together just a little bit more. It is thousands of such threads that make us "The Clarksons." Our own unique flavor of family--rock music when we washed the dishes, Sunday afternoon teas, always great books and stories, music at the dinner table, rousing discussions, heart-felt devotions.The meals we love, the way we do chores. It all comes back to life when we get the rare chance of being together. And each time we are all together, I know my work is to keep reminding them of the foundations, the values they have been given, the faith and convictions we all hold.

Some wonderful friends had chipped in to give Clay and me a gift card for a restful getaway at this hotel after an exhausting summer of ministry. It was absolutely amazing and wonderful. But we will take it later in the fall when the rooms are half-price. But this card gave me an opportunity to spoil my sweet ones. (My children still split meals and drink water so as to save money--it is just an expected way to go--we were always trying to save our pennies, so they still know that we celebrate life--but also have a way of doing fun things within our budget.) 

Joel and Joy savored a avocado, cheese, bacon omelet. Sarah and I split crabcakes with pouched egg and citrus Holandaise sauce, and my Hollywood acting Nathan chose fruit and granola, a much healthier choice!

Method to my madness opened the door so that I could then have the opportunity to once again hold up the standard of God's word, to speak into their hearts. I have intentionally always told them  how blessed I was to be their mother, how I believed that each of them was called to do a work in their life-time for God's kingdom. Sarah, God has gifted you with such a mind, an artist with words, you were reading and writing as a wee one, and I knew somehow you would be a communicator of truth and ideas to your world. My gentle Joel, you were singing perfectly on tune at 18 months and harmony by 3! Music seeped from you your whole life. To step out in faith to become one who would write beautiful music seems a fit for your life of bringing excellence and beauty to the world. Nate, when you were only 6 years old, you acted out your hero Audie Murphy in a speech given to 150 people and I knew then you were made for an audience. I can't wait to see how you bring His light to a dark arena. Joy, you have been a communicator since you started talking at three. Your gift with people, your love for the Lord and confidence in leading, will give you the ability to teach and inspire many people to love God in your life time.

And so words of truth and love, spoken in a sweet moment of celebrating life, will hopefully keep building on the foundation of their souls that has been lovingly given one day at a time, years upon end. I find I am still changing my schedule and giving up my expectations of life to keep serving and giving to those for whom I will have to give an account before Jesus when I see Him face to face.

Sweet Sarah Mae at likeawarmcupofcoffee has been doing a once a week review and discussion of my book, Mission of Motherhood. I love her heart and the way she connects with other women. She has a true gift of ministry.

But as I was reading a couple of the quotations she took out of this book, which I wrote years ago when my children were much younger, I realized, that I am still learning the same things. But the difference is that I see that the principles I wrote down that I determined would be a part of my life, have become second nature to me after practicing them for so many years. It is not that I don't still struggle at times to have "my own time." I long for time alone and time to do what I want to do all the time!

But since I settled many years ago, that this was right for me to do, that it was a part of my spiritual service to God to serve in my home, I don't have to think about it or struggle with it like I used to when my children were smaller.  It is already a commitment that is deeply held in my heart,  so  when I have to decide to do it, the truth is a part of my grid through which I had learned to see and live life. Practice makes a principle become a reality.

This is the quote that I thought so applied to me then and to me now!“I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God’s will for me to serve my family through them.  Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems and needs to arise and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience and resentment.” Mission of Motherhood

Thanks, Sarah Mae, for reminding me of this again today!

East Coast, Here we come! Philadelphia, Boston, and New York City!

PHILADELPHIA, BOSTON, AND NEW YORK CITY--HERE WE COME! Seeing, handling, touching, acting out, experiencing, reading outloud---these are the live experiences that make history feel real. Since my children were very little, I have purposed to plan ways that they could really experience what we studied.

Missions was not just be a story that someone else lived, that we read about.  I wanted my children to experience being in a foreign country and eating foreign food and hearing a foreign language, while seeing the great needs of others.

Serving in a soup kitchen or babysitting at a single mom center for battered women makes needs more real, because children get to put a name to a face that they can pray for over months.Seeing how blessed we are as Americans is a nice thought, but when a child sees homeless children or feels what it is like to be hungry, they have a whole new understanding of poverty, or material wealth or whatever!

For this reason, since my oldest children were very small, I have intentionally planned and purposed to give them real life experiences so that they could really get a more realistic understanding of those we studied. It is why we have been such travelers. Reading about historical figures is inspiring, but seeing places they lived or built or battles where they were fought gives them a more realistic understanding of the issues of stress, physical limitations, issues in the lives of the people they have studied.

So travel has always been a central part of our lives. I could not do this in certain seasons of life, but I learned very early, that my little ones could be very happy in a car if I gave them things to play with, draw, munch on, or listen to and so we have traveled our whole lives. It started when my older kids were young. Clay worked for 3 weeks on our book catalogue every year and my friend's husband had 3 very busy weeks with his animal husbandry business, so we planned a trip together every spring. Finding museums, battlefields, cafes, art galleries, and more were our goal. Always we would have 2 or 3 books on tape to listen to about the places or people we were going to visit.

This year, our little history group below, are planning a history trip to Philadelphia, Boston and New York City. We have been studying American history--early years for the last 9 months, saving our money and planning our trip. We will be in these three cities during mid-October. I would be happy to speak one evening in each city. If you have a support group or mom's group that you would like for me to address, please send any requests to Sally@wholeheart.org and I will give them to my sweet two other mom friends and they will help me figure it all out.

As it has happened over the years, we have often stayed in homes of people, shared meals together and we have made many of our close friends just from meeting with people we found on my blog. It always makes Clay feel better to know we are not in a city without friends close by.

And just maybe we travel not so much out of philosophical reasons, but more because I love to travel and get away and am too adhd to sit still all the time. So I look forward to hearing from you.

Below is the trip we took last year. What great memories we have stored over the years. Our history group has shrunk over the years as our children have graduated and left home. We are down to 2 girls and two boys and 3 moms!

PS We are going to be on the train and will not have a way to go outside of the public transportation in each city---so I will speak to groups in the cities!

 

Deb Weakly, mom; Jack, 13; and Christie, 16; Shelley Rose, mom; Jackson, 13 and Joy, 15 and me.

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more, and all good things will be yours.”

Swedish proverb

Not many people have driven to Sweden, but our history group has extraordinary powers! Well, really, we just drove to mini Sweden, AKA  Linsborg, Kansas. Miss Sally, Deb and Shelley and their children hopped in a red mini van and began their seven hour adventure driving to Kansas. After much groaning, exciting wheat watching and about 50,000 cows and windmills to observe, we finally arrived at out destination. What followed was two days of good old fashioned Swedish fun. Bicycles built for five, Dala horses built for none, (but piled with four) and pickled herring. Yum! Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate, Swedish dancing, vikings on sticks (meant for eating) and one cold bleacher. If you have nothing to do two years from now for the Hylliningsfest, we strongly suggest you check it out. -Joy, 14; and Jackson, 12. (our next door neighbors for several years and friends for 10 years--the kids are like brother and sister or cousins.) 

If you would like to view more pictures, I will post a website for you to visit. 

Getting atop a Dala horse is harder than you think. Dala Horses were all over town. 

(There is a legend that says that it was a young boy on top of a Dala Horse that saved the people from the bad trolls and elves. So Dala horses are always Scandanavian--primarily Swedish.)