A Father Who Frees

Today's post is written by Kristen Kill, the editor of Mom Heart Online. She lives in New York, where she and her husband squeeze grace, beauty, missional living,  a crazy dog and the homeschooling of  four kids  into a tiny Manhattan apartment. She writes about her own pilgrimage as a wife and mom and feathering her nest in the big city at Hope With Feathers.

I had one of those mornings a few weeks ago when I woke up and felt my comforter snuggled around me and longed for the continued weight and shelter it provided. I wanted to tune out the buzz of our morning and just cocoon up for a good long while.

We’ve been studying butterflies and their pupas, watching our  wee caterpillars eat and eat and eat before they snuggle up too, in their comas, wrapped warm. When they emerge as new creatures, they’ll have wet and weak crimpy wings—like my babies when they were laid upon my stomach, slathered wet in goo, chilled, ripped from comfort and their familiar cramped place of nourishment.

We snuggled each of our children close in those early days, put little knit caps on their bald, balmy heads…we tried to help them adjust  from the warm familiar womb. And all the cooing and swooshing sounds, all the rocking had to slowly woo them to their new world. There was no way to rationalize with them about the beauty their new life would hold-about the wonder and experiences that awaited them-about the tastes and smells and love to come. There was no way to express that one day they would actually long to spread their arms and legs wide and be completely naked on a sheepskin rug- they were too much missing that crimped up existence- and so we rocked and soothed and swaddled.

On this morning, waking, I didn’t want to face my wet, wimpy wings- didn’t want to allow the chill of the cold air to infuse them with strength enough to fly. I wasn’t quite sure I could fly! Change was apparent, and I knew my wings were there, but I wasn’t fully convinced they would work. Does the butterfly know they will be okay when they are thrust out of their warm shell? I was craving someone to swaddle me, to rock be back and forth- to coo in my ear a promise that this change, this emergence, was good—that I would recover and find wonder outside the womb.

And here's the thing... I still need this. I need to be reminded.

Letting go of our past, letting go of our crinkled up, tangled mess is pretty hard to do alone. I need community,  I need those who speak the truth of who I am and who God is on the days when I want to crawl back under the covers and can't remember on my own. I know others need to be reminded too. If you find yourself a little like me...a little afraid to get out from under your comforter,  hear and know the still small voice of  God whispering to your heart. May today, with fireworks blazing overhead clanging freedom's song be an even greater celebration of what is true in your heart: You are meant to be free. You are meant to be made whole. "You are a new creation! The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" - 2 Corinthians 5:17

From Isaiah 30:15 (Emphasis mine)

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God-" --Did you hear that? You are his child. "You did not receive the Spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters) by whom we cry Abba! Father!"

He is a Father who holds and carries and comforts.  A Father who frees.

 With Great Hope,

How Do We Respond to Life?

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

~Nehemiah 8:10

This has been quite a season.

Fires, floods, heat waves and other storms wrack our country. It's amazing the perspective we gain when such gigantic, uncontrollable things happen; reminding us that our problems are not quite as large as they perhaps looked.

Others fight health battles that are never-ending and seem larger than even the natural disasters on TV.

So what does it mean? How do we respond?

With so much sadness and so many daily burdens to shoulder, how do Christian women maneuver steadily through this journey of life with joy and peace of heart intact? What does it look like to be a woman filled with joy, every day, all the time, no matter what? In the deluge of all the stresses and disappointments in a fallen world, how does a mature Christian woman really walk in the power of the Holy Spirit? How does she face each situation with gladness, despite the relentless and demanding day-after-day, month-after-month, year-after-year things that would rob her of emotional and creative energy, such as chores, bills, arguments, messes? Or how does she maintain joy in the center of more devastating troubles: a divorce, the tragic death of a loved-one, a child who has a chronic illness or disability, rejection by family members, alcoholism and drug-related scars, a job layoff?

Then the Lord reminded me: I need to dance.

He wants me to dance inside my heart, no matter what is going on outside in my circumstances. To dance is to celebrate life, to make merry, to physically live out the reality of internal joy. Those who walk closely with the Lord have a secret inner joy, a dancing energy just from knowing Him. It is in having Him as my partner, in letting Him take the lead, that I will be directed around the "dance floor" of my life. He is the One who will show me the steps, how to listen to the music, how to engage my heart with him and to stay in sync with Him, the real Source of the music, the dance, and the everlasting joy.

We live here on earth, a place broken by sin. Our lives are deeply affected by that, and there's no way around it but hand in hand with the Lord, searching for His beauty and bringing what we can of it into the midst of our days. And so today, once again, I choose to dance, to sing, to make music in my heart for Him. Because He holds it all in His hands--including me.

Does God Believe in Girlfriends?

Phyllis Stanley, My wonderful friend, speaking at one of my seminars.

Today, when this comes out, I will be in Rome, God willing, with my dear friend, Phyllis Stanley. God has a sense of humor and He also believes in girlfriends and the need to celebrate life together, even in the midst of fires.  Sooo, here is the some of the story of my last 24 hours.....

Last night as I was coming back from Joy's Summit Ministries Graduation, where over 200 kids had celebrated their adventuresome week here in Colorado Springs amidst the fires and evacuating and lectures about faith, I was struck with how amazingly powerful God is every day, all the time, even when we do not know what He is doing because as C. S. Lewis says, "He is not a tame lion."

(I would not want a God that I could manipulate or control or who was as finite as me. But hearing how excited all of the students were to follow hard after God, to become speakers and leaders and witnesses for His glory, was such an inspiration. To see faith being even more catalyzed because of the send of eternity the fires brought, was such an encouragement.)

98 girls sleeping on one large conference room at Mountain Springs Church, because they had to evacuate the conference center. (the church provided pillows and sleeping bags and mattresses)

God surprises us by showing up in the most interesting places.

"Mom, I think we are all closer because we had to sleep together, 3 bathroom stalls, 2 showers. We are all partners in arms in an event in history that will catalyze our faith for years to come."

Then there is Phyllis, my 72 year old, Godly friend. Though evacuated from her home because of the fires being within less than a mile (347 houses have been destroyed.), she is not daunted in the least, having spent 17 years on the mission field and having worked in Communist countries where her husband was always traveling and ministering for the Navigators.

But a year ago, Phyllis and I dreamed of going to the wedding of a dear friend of ours' daughter on the Amalfi coast in Italy. We love this family and we wanted to celebrate her daughter's marriage, one that we have prayed for for years.  While working in London, our friend faithfully atended Hill Song where she works with young girls and seeks to disciple them. In ministry at this church, she met her fiance, who is also passionate about the Lord and happens to be an Italian banker. So excited to celebrate with them, the wonderful answer to prayers, we both bought our tickets with our points on airlines last October, made our plans and have been looking forward to this trip for almost a year.

I would go to Italy,  just to have 6 days of cappuccino with Phyllis and to share our friendship, because she always makes me want to love God more and she inspires me in my ideals.  Our shared fellowship is revolutionary to both of us as we draw each other to faithfulness, faith and boldness in ministry.

But, with a family of 5 staying in our home and Phyllis out of her home and many more dear friends still in limbo, I finally got a hold of Phyllis.

"So what do you think about our trip on Saturday?"

"Sally, my bag was already packed, I have my passport and I just need to trust God with my home until He shows me otherwise, and we have a friend waiting for us in Italy who wants us to be with her to celebrate one of the great legacies of life--marriage. So I will pick you up at 1:30."

This was the real finish line I was looking for! After a very challenging year, I was so longing for time with a dear, spiritual mentor to celebrate life together. Throwing t-shirts and dresses into my one carry on suitcase, I am off today and finally, so very excited!

And here, God, who is good, opened the doors in the midst of a very difficult time, and because of my sweet friend's faith, for us to go and celebrate friendship and joy and to restore for some of the other adventures that will be ahead in both of our lives.

So, yes, I think God believes in girl-friends and fun and beauty and joy and He has surprised me at the end of this week with the possibility of something I just didn't think would come to pass.

Arrivederci!

May you see His hand and joy in your own life in surprising ways this week!

God had a different finish line for me and it moved forward a bit!

Andy Braner--photo

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1

Do you even have mental deadlines that you hold to and know that if you can just make it through that date or that final stress point or major life-event--then you will be able to take a breath, then you will get some sleep, then you will be able to reorganize life and get it back together again......?

Well, I had been holding to a finish line and it was 9 days ago on Wednesday. Holding fast to this deadline since last January  after mom dying and dealing with all of those issues, Clay surgery and --I knew that I had 3 moms conferences for Whole Heart, 7 national speech and debate tournaments and trips with Joy, a book deadline, a speaking trip to Canada, Texas, ministry commitments, a two week international trip with Sarah coming from Oxford, blogs, article deadlines, kids coming in and out, Clay medical stuff ongoing, more medical issues with kids, over 100 people in and out of my home in May, National Speech and Debate Week and a sweet family staying with us, and then all the kids home with friends for 5 days--and that was my finish line--

If I can just make it through that date--last Wednesday when I put Nathan back on the plane--I will have run my course, finished my tasks, have at least a few days off to sleep, spend time with the Lord, begin to get my home and desk and emails and life back to order.

Then was up with migraine and throwing up for two hours in the night on Thursday early a.m. (food poisoning?); had an asthma attack in the middle of the night the next night as the smoke started coming in and new unexpected deadlines, calls, book final edited coming in on Friday, and finally a visit to the emergency room for breathing. Sent me home with emergency equipment as so many were coming in with asthma and breathing problems they could not treat them all.

Then, finally, Clay set me up with a fan, a wonderful place to sleep and then at 1:30 Joy called--being evacuated, family with 3 sweet babies moving in with us and a ten day old babe at that and then

this week of constant evacuating friends, running to evacuated students, more and more and more and then ending speaking at a youth conference yesterday in the midst of it all. And more friends taking in more families and all of us working together.

Not going to lie--this old lady is tuckered out and weariness has set in.

The heart is willing but the flesh is weak or exhausted or something.

I was having a short quiet time the other morning trying to walk with God in the midst--

He gently said,

"Sally, that may have been your deadline, but it wasn't my deadline. I am with you. I knew your days before you were even born and planned to be with you. I knew about the fires, the house guests, the major ministry issues that would arise, the new requests and deadlines, and I knew that if you walked in faith and let me have the burdens, that you would have sufficient strength to walk this road with joy and peace. I trusted you with this week. My grace is sufficient for you--now you just rest every day each minute that you can and don't waste one moment on anxiety. Give my peace to those around you and trust that as your days, your strength will be in measure."

And so, in the midst, strength has been there one day at a time, one friend who needed love at a time, one midnight conversation with a child at a time, and precious memories made in the midst.

When I gave my expectations and needs to my sweet Father, He took me into the secret place of His tent and assured me that He was with me and He would care for me.

Your prayers have made my weak one to walk through with joy, peace and strength for each moment. I so appreciate all of you who have walked with us through this and who are with us now.

The fires have been somewhat contained in some areas, but have moved northward toward our little town--but the firefighters are making lines of protection and contingency lines at the edge of our little twon, as it is moving north towards us. We should be safe because we are east of the freeway which it would have to cross, but we are so hopeful for our many friends, that God will help stop the fires from spreading more havoc. But, he knows,  His angels are giving charge concerning all of us and we are all at peace.

One person suggested that we were all under God's judgment. I think not. God is so very gracious and I would think even more, there are 135 national headquarters for Christian ministries in our town--why not consider this could be spiritual warfare and the wonderful Christians in our town have been abundantly generous, amazingly loving, peace giving, comforting and it is amazing seeing the body of Christ coming together.

Indeed I will never forget seeing the spirit of God working so powerfully as He has this week.

We all are on an obstacle course in this life that will require godly endurance, but God is the source of our strength, joy and comfort and this becomes more real to me every day. Sending love to all. So sorry I can't answer the many phone calls and emails, but your love has been felt and received into our very grateful hearts. May He also bless you indeed.

The Beauty of Grace

If it were possible to take all that Christ was and is--His mercy and love, His righteousness and holiness, His power and intelligence, His creativity and wisdom--and focus all of it for the benefit of an undeserving person, we would begin to have a sense of what God's grace is all about. We would also have to consider the world He has made for us--the beautiful and colorful sights of nature; the sounds we hear and hum; food to taste and smell; the sensation of touch on our skin; and ideas expressed through words such as love, freedom, self-sacrifice, and purpose. The multifaceted expression of Gods' greatness through what He made was a gift of grace to us at the beginning of time to show us His love and favor. Then, after we humans rebelled and fell away from God, He sent His Son to redeem a fallen world back to Himself that we might personally still know Him in His fullness. This was the fullness of His grace--God's undeserved favor toward us. His serving us in generous love through a loving, humble relationship introduces us to the essence of His personality. His grace changes our lives and is the foundation for our learning to give grace to others in our relationships."

(The Ministry of Motherhood)

 

It is remarkable to me, sometimes, to consider the sheer enormity of the grace of God. Looking around at the lovely home He's given me, photographs of my children who are so precious to my heart, and even a sideward glance at my overflowing inbox with notes of love from my dear friends and so many of you whom I don't know or get to see very often can overwhelm me as I consider that all of those things come my way because of His goodness.

Romans 2:4  says, "Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" And indeed it does. God's kindness--His great love and the blessings He has sent my way--remind me on a daily basis of His grace. And His grace leads me to repentance as I know He is eager to forgive and receive me as His child.

Keeping this in mind helps me as I discipline and train my own children. It also helps me know how to deal with people, who are likely to be sinful and in need of forgiveness, just like me! If there's anything our world could use more of, it's grace. Let us purpose to look around for reminders of the grace He has already given to us, so we can offer it to those around us today.

 

Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal.....

Robie Blair--photography Colorado Springs--our view outside.

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;"

This, from Peter, who was taken by surprise when Satan tempted him to despair and confusion at the cross.

Perhaps, as  mature, old-man, sweet hearted, humbled and compassionate believer, He wanted to extend His wisdom to save us unnecessary adrenalin and fretting. How kind of him.

And Peter says to us, to help us be prepared,

"Do not be surprised, as though some strange thing were happening to you."

I was realizing the other day, that at my age, I have been through so many difficulties and challenges and hard times, that one of my first reactions is, "This is familiar. Just take a deep breath and trust God and it will eventually pass and you will see His faithfulness."

Pray for firefighters

My heart is willing and is learning. But my flesh is weak. My heart wants to trust, but my heart has been saddened and I am a little weary and have been in tears, just a little. Not just from the fires, but always there are other issues, aren't there?

But, when God brought this verse to mind today, it heartened me--Peter went through so many trials and yet he said it is the testing of our faith. My hope is that in this confused time, the beauty of God's creation, our beloved city being destroyed, the fire tripling in size in the night to over 15,000 acres,

this is my place where I have the choice in the testing of my faith, to believe, to worship and to rest, as a child, in the secret places of his tent.

Prayers are so very appreciated.

I am so very sorry I have piles of emails and correspondence from the last couple of weeks that I have not answered and may never get to, as the daily life has many demands. Please, forgive me for my delinquency.

I am so very blessed by your many prayers, notes on face book, emails. The kids at Summit are all seeing Biblical messages in light of eternity and this makes it the best Christian conference they have ever been to--and their faith is soaring.

Moving prayer meetings are touching our hearts.

Seeing generosity being poured out and spending time sleeping in my dear friend's home, and the sharing of food and lives has been sweeter fellowship and deepening of friendship in ways that have deeply touched my heart.

Churches are stepping up to the bat and they are serving in the way God meant for them to.

And so, in the fiery tests, Jesus is with us and pouring grace and filling hearts and bringing all of us to worship and thanks.

Please pray--Colorado Springs on fire and homes burning--friends homes going down

Wrecks on freeway, fires in homes, friends stuck on roads evacuating, lots of confusion. Fire spreading all over the front range of the mountains and nearing Air Force Academy--God knew this would happen and He is with us, but we pray for rain, for safety, for homes to be saved and for the fire-fighters--for grace for all the children and families in the midst of it.  We just need God's mercy and redemption in this situation. Thanks for praying.

Finding My Mission

 

Like so many people today, I struggled as a young woman to know what I should do with my life. What was my purpose? What should I be doing with my time? What would be the best use of my talents and resources? At college in the 1970's, the answer to that question seemed to be, "Do whatever you want!" While it seemed fun at the time, there was still a hollowness in my soul that longed to be filled.

One day, a young lady knocked on my dorm room door and asked if I'd like to take a religious survey. Though she seemed doubtful as to my interest, I knew she'd actually come as an answer to prayer. And when she asked if I'd like to ask Jesus to forgive my sins and to live in my heart and be lord of my life, I was ready to do it. Suddenly, an entirely new avenue of possibilities was opened up to me!  The group of young people whom I gathered for Bible study with several times a week were very energetic and positive about encouraging new believers to reach out to others and pass along what we were learning. I gladly gathered a small group of new(er) believers to meet with weekly, and began to get truly excited about the possibility of using my life to help others come to know God and serve Him, too.

It struck me that just as Jesus had come into the world to teach people about God, redeem them back to him, and show them His kingdom purposes, He wanted His disciples to go into the world to do the same. Since I was a serious follower of Christ, just as the disciples were, I assumed that His purpose for them must become my purpose--to use my life to reach others for Him and to teach them what it meant to know and follow Him by understanding and obeying His Word!

One passage in particular seemed to clinch this idea for me. Matthew 28: 19-20 was a final command from Jesus to His disciples: "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I comanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Jesus wasn't asking His disciples to go into all the world and set up church buildings or youth groups or Wednesday night church suppers but to make disciples--to cultivate spiritual relationships with people, to draw them to Christ and then train them to reach out to other people who would also be trained and able to make other disciples. He was entrusting the messages and work of the kingdom of God into the hands of ordinary people who had come to know His love and forgiveness."~The Ministry of Motherhood

Many years later, after discipling people all over the world through this model, Clay and I decided that if we were ever to have children, we needed to train them the same way. And so I found my mission--the same one Jesus demonstrated for His own disciples as He laid down His life for them on a moment by moment basis, loving, serving, training, healing, and finally literally giving His life on the cross for them. While discipling my children isn't likely to lead me to physical death (at least I hope not!) it has certainly been a season of giving that includes  incredible, wonderful blessings for me at the same time.

My mission is to love well the people He has entrusted to me. To demonstrate for them the love of God through beauty and grace, through meal planning and laundry and crafting fun experiences for all of us in the midst of this crazy culture we live in. To inspire them to live for God and give their own lives in His service.

Do you realize you're a mom with a mission? How are you embracing your own mission, today?

Holding Tight

News changes from minute to minute. This morning all the plans were to move people back into Manitou (Summit Ministries) and homes but now with the smoke so heavy and needing time to be sure, kids will be staying at Mountain Springs Church which is air conditioned and Summit isn't--and we have record breaking 100 degree weather predicted off and on for the next 6 days.

In the midst, lives are being changed, people are evaluating their lives and God is on His throne. I am thankful for the sweet fellowship I am having in the midst with so many great-souled people and love having friends in my home and love having friends who are all reaching out. Onward!