Fire, evacuation and perspective

A picture from my bedroom toward the mountains that Joel took.

With the smoke and the mountains, fire and sunset, there is still beauty.

As  many of you know from my facebook picture. The fires have attacked our wonderful city and area. Joy is presently attending Summit Ministries Conference in Manitou Springs and all of the kids have been evacuated to a local church and are safe, praise God.

Many of our friends have had to evacuate their homes and we will be keeping a family this week.

Please pray for God to send rain.

To protect the homes near the forest.

To keep the firemen and women safe--we have a friend who is there now.

Pray, Pray that God will protect Glen Eyrie, the Navigator Headquarters and retreat center  from burning as it backs up to the mountains that are burning.

Please pray for God to protect Summit Ministries buildings and dorms and all the other Christian ministries close by.

God is with all of us and He is in control and He is giving us all thoughts about eternity and about what really matters.

The Lord is indeed near. Peace to us all.

Home--a haven in the midst of life

Helen Allingham

"Home is a haven from a world that is swimming with challenges and difficulty. It is a school where one learns how precious life is intended to be. It provides the context of learning to know and love my Creator, the beauty of the world He made, and His Word, which guides me. And it is the environment where direction and purpose and values are passed from generation to generation, protecting and preserving all that is precious in life."

Mission of Motherhood chapter 9

Sally C. :) Have a blessed weekend

Answers Come as We Walk With the Lord

Cornelis Pietersz Bega

Isn't it difficult sometimes to be a mom? There are so many questions along our journey. We all long to be given concrete answers. I have been asked many questions over the years. Moms want to know how to deal with their toddler's whining, their teenager's rebellion, their elementary-school student's math problems. They want me to tell them just what to do to solve the problems they face.

I wish it were possible for me to help everyone! But the truth is, each problem you encounter in your own family has an individual answer. I can give you advice, direct you to scriptures, and share what has worked in my own home--but that still won't tell you exactly how to handle yours! It's not possible for me to know what you should do, because I am not aware of every detail that touches your particular situation. And if I did, I would be cheating you out of the opportunity the Lord is presenting through this problem, for you to interact with Him to receive His answer for it.

"There so many books on motherhood that focus on how to's and often end up in formulaic philosophies about how to do it right. But most of these books, although they offer some wise principles to follow, do not exactly fit my circumstances or tell me how to handle my unique problems and stresses. There is no book or speaker that can inform me about precisely what to do to make the right decisions I need to make as a mom.

Many times, during my own years of mothering, I would find myself on my knees before the Lord with a problem, struggle, or dilemma to solve, having come to the end of my own rope. What should I do about my child's asthma attacks? How should I handle my child's loneliness? Tantrums? The family member who causes so much stress? My lack of support systems? My struggles in marriage? My own loneliness? Depression? Moves? Financial problems? My child's disability?

As I began to read scripture more and understand my relationship with the Lord better, I realized that God didn't clearly define every issue of family life or parenting in the Bible. Since I know that God is thorough and good and providential over each day of my life, I figured He hadn't just forgotten to put all the rules in His Word.

Instead, I began to understand that even as He asked me to live my life by faith, based on the wisdom of Scripture and my relationship with Him, so He intended me to walk this journey of motherhood the same way. I was to walk by faith and with wisdom,. through the guidance I found by knowing Him and His ways, becoming obedient to His principles, praying for wisdom and then learning to walk each day by confidence and assurance with Him, resting in His promises, His dependable character, and in His provision."

This is His plan for all of us--that we take our cares and cast them upon Him; that we seek His wisdom and grow closer to Him through the challenges we face. Is there something troubling you, sweet mom, that no one seems to have the answer for? Ask your Father. He longs to guide you as you walk with Him.

Why I love to think about Dancing with my Heavenly Father

"If we're not supposed to dance, why all this music?"  

Gregory Orr

We were created to dance, to laugh, to love, to enjoy, to hug and hold hands and to find joy in life--

because He, who is the Great Artist, crafted life to be filled with hidden pleasures,

sparkling treasures,

deep fulfillment and smiles and thankful hearts and fulfilled dreams--happiness and joy.

Yet, sometimes the melody is hidden or overpowered by the noise that surrounds us, is it not?

Who makes the noise of the world so loud that, at times, we do not even notice the music or acknowledge it's reality?

Who would want us not to dance, not to listen, not to engage in the joy?

We must not give in to this dark side, that creates the cacophony to blot out all of the alluring, dazzling, delightful, pleasing, heavenly music.

But, if indeed, when God imagined us and longed to grant us beauty,

If God created life such as this--one in which there is so much soul wrenching, toe tapping, love-giving, comfort making music,

our deepest souls were also made to dance and to enter into and engage in the divine symphony, irresistable rhythms, haunting, memorable melodies, the harmonies,  that He has surrounded us with all the time, every day.

May God grant us ears to hear, hearts to perceive and a willingness to dance with all of our might.

But perhaps we must remember,

Unless one becomes as a child, he cannot experience the kingdom of heaven--or hear the sounds of the music He is playing for us, even now.

Surrounding yourself with people more excellent than you!

Joy, (far left) as Miss Prism in The Importance of Being Ernest--a couple of years ago

Joy was born to be in front of people. Even as a little girl, she was fearless and opened our mom's conferences with a welcome for many years. Thousands of women in the audience didn't threaten her in the least--as a matter of fact, it seem to inspire her to do even better at inspiring the crowds.

About 5 years ago, Nathan and Joy and I attended a national actors, singers and dancers competition where the kids competed in a number of events. Joy did quite well in several areas.

One of the perks of the competition was that the kids got to meet with real Hollywood producers, agents, record companies and Directors and Marketers from Broadway.

Soft blonde curls encompassing large blue eyes and sophisticated clothing left quite an impression on us as we met with a lovely woman who was a Broadway producer, and  who wrote an evaluation for Joy in her performances. With a poised demeanor and gentle tone, the experienced and wise woman said,

"Joy, you are indeed quite naturally talented at acting and communicating in front of people. However, what you need the most is to be surrounded by people who are more talented, more experienced and who will challenge you to move further ahead in your skills. It is always wise to put yourself in the company of others who are more excellent than you."

What great advice and how needed in Joy's life at the time. I have adopted this principle in my own life for many years. When I read, "He who walks with the wise will be wise," in Proverbs, I began to look for those friendships and acquaintances of women who challenged me to be "more" than what I already was. I seek out excellence in most arenas in my life--not because I have it together, but because I always want to be growing.

Cultural voices tell us that we deserve a break, that it is ok to compromise and standards of life for most people are quite mediocre. These voices give us permission to rest on our laurels and to stay complacent and even to learn to whine about our difficulties.

Yet, I believe that if we understand that we have an amazing capacity to be excellent, hard working, bright, authoritative, influential--because we are crafted in the very image of God to be like Him, then we will always be straining, in a positive way, to become all that He created us to be, to fulfill our capacity in life.

And intentionally placing ourselves in the company of other excellent people; reading inspiring and challenging books, studying scripture in depth, practicing anything in which we would like to become more excellent, will expand our capacity to accomplish great works in our lifetime.

God even disciplines us, stretches us, trains us, that we might become more like Jesus--that our hearts might reflect more of His sacrificial life and love and that when someone sees us, they will be looking at the very character of Jesus.

But God delights in using normal, run-of-the-mill people, to do great things for His kingdom. Rarely  did He choose "important" people to be the ones who experienced a miraculous life.

Joy in her dramatic duo--a very humorous rendition of stories about Prince Charming and those women he chased

Recently, when Joy immersed herself in Speech and Debate for just 4 months, the value of the commitment expanded her borders and capacity greatly. She was in the company of hundreds of great youth who were all striving to become better communicators. Their very lives, hard work and integrity inspired and pushed her to become more excellent. It matters not what she accomplished and what status she achieved at the National Speech and Debate Tournament (I think she did well enough to be satisfied.)

But the real value was that she was in the company of hundreds of excellent youth who were wanting to become more excellent, who helped her to use her time in a productive way and who personally challenged her to become more astute and excellent in a skill that was already developing.

And so this summer, as I was pondering this, I gathered a few women around me to deeply challenge each other. Our goal is to walk with the Lord more deeply, to live by faith, to study the word in depth, to become more excellent. Together, we are lifting high the standard of His call on each of our lives because we do not want to just stay as we are--but we want to grow, and stretch---these women are creating in me a desire to grow, to become better, to stretch in God's ideals for me.

So, how about you? What kind of woman do you want to be when you grow up--a little more? What can you read this summer to better your mind? What can you do to shore up your weaknesses? How can you stretch yourself to become more of the woman Christ created you to be?

It is only in being intentional and purposeful about your life that you will grow. But in growing, your heart and soul will become more fulfilled, because God's will, which is to become more "holy"--set apart for His purposes--is indeed good and acceptable and perfect.

And no one can make you more excellent--you must want it and work for it yourself--that is a glory to our heavenly Father--when we choose to be more excellent, for His glory.

So, start a group, join a Bible study, make up a new exercise cycle, develop a skill, take some lessons--meet with a mentor--make this summer one of growth, stretching and inspiration and in a few months you will be amazed at the progress you have made, and in conquering one or two areas of growth, others will fall into place.

The Joy Filled Life

There are dishes in my sink and piles of laundry to be washed. A busy weekend of visitors, dinners served and (mostly!) cleaned up after, planned activities and impromptu trips taken have left my home looking a bit like a tornado has passed through.

The best antidote to a messy house? A deep breath, a good cup of tea, and a reminder of the truth about living the joy-filled life. From Seasons of a Mother's Heart:

"I am more convinced than ever that even in the midst of the mundane, burdensome, and oftentimes frustrating tasks of life allotted to me as a mother, God wants me to find His joy. He wants every single day of my life to be a celebration of his blessings, whether they are large or small. He wants me to celebrate life ... the life He has given to me.

But what does it mean to "celebrate life?" Does it mean that I can let my house be a wreck so I can enjoy my children, or that I never have negative thoughts and attitudes, or that I never discipline my children? Does it mean that I simply overlook the myriad difficulties that inevitably spoil the best days, or that I ignore the burdens I carry as a stay-at-home mom, or that I close my eyes to intractable sins that won't go away?

Of course not! The joy-filled life is not found by trying to diminish my God-given responsibilities as a woman, wife and mother, nor can I find joy merely by refusing to face the hard realities of life in a fallen world.

There is a tension that God is asking me to acknowledge and accept--the tension between ideals and realities. True joy is found by living somewhere between the "ideal life" and 'daily realities.' that is where Jesus meets me, where His Holy spirit empowers, and where I learn how to live the Christian life with supernatural joy."

A moment to pause, to take in some lovely music, to ask the Lord for new strength, allows me to rise from my chair with the intention of subduing my home with joy rather than frustration. After all, dishes mean there was food to eat. Laundry piles mean we all had clothes to wear. Tracks on the floor mean we have many friends who came to celebrate life with us.

"Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox." Proverbs 14:4

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Also, join me today as

Momheart.org

where I am speaking about being a gardner of your children's soul as we continue the study of Mission of Motherhood.

“If our gardens need cultivating to grow well, our children need that attention much more. Seeds of excellence and grace must be planted and tended. The weeds of selfishness and bad attitudes must be plucked. The plot must be protected so that the wild storms and prevailing winds of culture will not damage the fruit. In addition, wise food for thought and the finest of art, music, literature, hospitality and creativity must be fed to fertilize the soul so that the child may grow fruitful and productive. 

Children do not accidentally become mature adults of strong character, great faith, gracious relational skills, effective leadership qualities, and sharp intellects. Gods’ design includes the presence of a hands-on gardener, a mother, to tend and cultivate their hearts, souls, minds, and relationships. As a garden cannot flourish without a gardener, neither can a child reach his or her potential without someone committed to careful cultivation. Just as a garden without a gardener will eventually go to seed and be covered over with weeds and debris, a child whose growth is unsupervised or left to chance will likely grow wild and undisciplined or stunted and unfruitful.”

Mission of Motherhood

Feeling a bit small today--but oh so grateful

The Girls

"I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."

After a whole package of bacon, a loaf of homemade bread toasted and swimming in bubbling butter, scrambling cheese eggs and pouring countless cups of tea and coffee, I gathered my 4 children into the living room together, for one more moment to point all of them, at one time, to Him--the one who is my life and strength.

When they are all over the world--Oxford, Hollywood, Boston, Colorado Springs, Chicago, I often wonder, while on my knees, "Are they still walking with God? Are they being influenced by the world? Are their hearts loyal?" It is such a hard world they live in.

I do not always like what I have to walk through. I am Pollyanna and want life to be easy, neat, clean with no issues--

but my life has never been that way, and I still have to walk through the messes and stresses that each day and each child brings.

But as their mom, they look to me to see how I am walking through them and what choices I make, a moment at a time, to live in faith amidst it all.

But in the four days when are together, I must steal this moment, one more time to be intentional, to point them to the One who is truth. I do what we did every day for years and years and take them with me before the throne of God and look into the heart of God and into His word.

And so I begin, "I know you have heard all of this before. But I have only this morning, while all of you are home together, to share my heart with you and to pray for you."

It is a rare moment for me--to have a 29 year old, 27, 24, and 18 all in one room, all sipping, munching and together--wondering--did the work of my life take root. Is this motley crew, this group called Clarkson, attuned to what we have always held fast to--together, one day at a time.

But, this intention to not waste the opportunity to one more time document the eternal One who holds our lives, is the focus and strength of all that I am as a mother.

And so I ask, "What is the anchor, the verse, the foundational focus of your life right now? What is giving you strength to hold fast to the ideals we have always cherished in our home?"

And then, all four, in the midst of chatter, antics, even still the wiggling like they did when they were little, pour out their hearts honestly, naturally, comfortable still with our habit of gathering to talk about what really matters--

and the comfort and miracle for me is that each one is holding fast to the Word of God.

The boys

Nate--"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend--it is my model, my goal, to lay down my life and serve."

Joel, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Sarah, "Ephesians 1, "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know what is the hope of your calling, ....."

Joy, "Without faith, it is impossible to please God, ....., and the heroes of faith who followed hard after Him."

And so I sit here, in my small room, exhausted from making all the meals, the dishwasher that decided to break just before they all got home making my burden a little more, putting up with the stress of 4 young adults straining towards life with differing personalities, always issues of finances, health, love interests, life decisions--honestly it all wears me out and I feel so small and inadequate at times.

But in my living room, this weekend, amidst all the messes of our lives, I saw eternity in their hearts, faith that informs and leads and gives strength and the God who is leading them all. There was a miracle in this quiet moment, unobserved by the world, but celebrated in heaven,

4 children seeking on their own, to follow hard after Him--that is the miracle I have always hoped for and here amidst jammies and tossled hair, I saw the hand of God.

"With God, all things are possible."

It is all too much for me to handle or control because at times, my heart is faint and my faith challenged, knowing I do not hold all the answers

--but in His hands, and by His faithfulness, somehow they were all listening, they all took heart nad believed, and I know as they all go back to their arenas and lives today, God will already be with them, ahead of me and waiting for them, and ready to show His faithfulness.

There is an illusion out there that some women have it all together--but really, it is only women who trust God to have it all together, that will ever have the hope that their labor of love will ever amount to anything--

Nothing is impossible for Him.

I am not and have never been up to the task, as I fail and fall short every day--but the miracle is that he took my paltry offerings, my little basket of fish and loaf faith, and made it, in His hands, enough,

So today, this early morning, as I prepare to send the first two away at the airport, I again come, begging before the throne of grace,

"Please, Father, you keep them. You hold them. You lead their hearts back to you every day--and unless you provide for them--they will have no hope. But I know that you are the one who provides and so I leave it all in your hands."

And now, I again move slowly to the tea kettle and toaster to send them off with all the love I can muster, but with the knowledge that I have never been enough, but He is always enough and in Him, I rest it all and wait to see, one more time what He will do.

Never, not one day in my whole life have all of my ducks been in a row. But one more time, I see that He is the one who holds it together and who makes it work, and one more day, my life will move on in His strength and in His abundant faithfulness.

"My grace is sufficient for you. My power is perfected in your weakness."

*used blog 6/17/2021 The Ministry of Motherhood

It's not easy being a child these days.

I listen to them talking around tables, gathered in groups at restaurants; watch their characterization on television shows and movies. I wonder if we understand as well as we think we do what it's really like to grow up during this season. Sometimes it seems that so much has changed, today's children live in a different world than the one I grew up in. The hurried, harried pace of it all wearies me as a mother, and I can only imagine its effect on this generation which has known nothing else.

As the world's raging current rushes past our homes, what happens inside?

Are we creating spaces of peace for our children? When they come to us with the hard questions about the difficult things in life, do we have real answers for them? Are we well-equipped to buffer the young ones from the onslaught of the world even as we prepare them to make their way--and even overcome-- in it?

They say the more things change, the more they stay the same. And I do believe this is true when we think about what our children really need from us as mothers.

They don't need sweet platitudes of faith that will momentarily placate their emotions. They need the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical worlveiw and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship. They need an unwavering, internal moral and spiritual compass that will help them weather today's storms and tomorrow's and will guide them for the rest of their lives. They also need to see what real faith looks like when lived day in, day out; so they will have a pattern to follow.

The process of providing such gifts to my children is what I've come to think of as the ministry of motherhood. I believe it's central to the calling of anyone God has privileged to bring children into this world.

If you are a mother, it's your ministry too." ~from The Ministry of Motherhood

How do you feel about the ministry of motherhood?

*used blog 6/7/2021 5 Principles of Building a strong friendship with your children

One of many moments of giggling and being friends

  1. Time and Availability Whatever the age, children develop better when they know I will make our time together a priority. People grow close not through monitoring one another’s behavior but by working together, playing together, talking together, celebrating together, weeping together. Relationships develop when people are there for each other—and that’s as true for parents and children as it is for anyone else.

  2. Acceptance and Unconditional LoveIn building meaningful relationships with my children, I must learn to accept unconditionally the person God made each of them to be—even with personality traits that differ from mine or that make me uncomfortable. I need to accept the “warts” and irritating characteristics that may never change. I have to love my children with a mature commitment that reaches past my feelings for them, which can change from circumstance to circumstance.

  3. Affirmation and EncouragementI believe most children are acutely aware of their limitations and their failures. While they often need correction for their mistakes and even confrontation for their sinful selfishness, they also need recognition for their real efforts and accomplishments and positive reminders of who they can be with God’s help.

  4. GraceOur children need us to give them the grace to grow. If we make them think that we expect perfection, then eventually they may give up trying to please us, because they know they will always fail, or they may spend their whole lives feeling guilty for their failures.

  5. Relationship TrainingWe need to consciously train our children in the skills and attitudes that will enable them to sustain positive relationships. A person can only experience true intimacy when his heart has been deepened and exercised in real love and commitment.From Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson :)

For more on A Mom--A Strong Friend go to Momheart.org today--lots of good stuff there! And a video from me!