Oh no, teens are coming! Preparing to conquer with grace!

There is a window of time when children are little and are dependent upon their parents, believe everything they say and want to please them. This season of innocence and trust passes so quickly This is the time to prepare their hearts to be ready for the years when they will naturally, designed by God, begin to seek independence of thought and convictions.

All teens, in order to grow into adulthood strong and ready to face life, must test what they have been taught and own what they really believe. It is the passage between childhood and adulthood. These years--be they preteen or teen, come far too quickly. Maneuvering this transition with wisdom and faith is essential to coming through at the other end with a relationship still intact.

Living by faith in our family meant an ever-growing understanding of His presence in the life of our children  and in our home. We deeply loved and related to our children, and consequently, in their teen years, we found that our relationships were founded on trust after a lifetime of building it that way.

Sympathy goes a long way in teen years. Teens want to be affirmed, loved and accepted by others their age--it is a healthy part of straining towards adulthood to become independent and stand on their own two feet. And yet it is a growing process.

Use words of life and encourage, love and accept your children, even more intentionally than before.

Teens are having thoughts about sex, girls and boys, and mysterious developments in their bodies that sometimes make them feel overwhelmed and distracted. Make sure to remember this and to ask yourself what is going on inside, not just outside your children.

If you have talked to them about everything in the world before they become teens--developed a trust relationship where they can confide things--fears, thoughts, negative feelings, doubts about God, without you reacting in fear or giving them guilt, then they will probably want to talk to you about the mysterious issues of a teenage life and you will be their ally.

But if they think you will get mad, make fun of them, yell, not understand, then often they will seek the input of others--and those others may not have your values. So teen years are the time to deeply work on building that trust relationship--so that you will always know what is going on. Better yet, start working on it when they are tiny so they will naturally come to you.

Don't ever say, "My children will never do such and such!" Beware--it is a very challenging world out there for teens and young adults, and pride goes before a fall!  And they need you to walk beside them every step and to be very involved, to help protect them from unnecessary scars and to help them make wise decisions. All of us fail in some ways in our lives, so be sure to exhibit and express that your children can always come to you with anything and then prove to them that you can be trusted by listening, not reacting, and helping them with a gentle spirit.

Hormones throw preteens and teens into a slump of regressing, at times, because the hormones disrupt the familiar patterns of their body and brains! Moodiness, sleeping longer, emotional bouts over seemingly little things, are a norm with kids going through hormones. Not to mention all of the sexual changes, which are of incredible magnitude. Many times a mom is tempted to become exasperated and angry at the child, as though it is a willful choice. But since all of my four children went through this passage with such issues, though expressed in different ways, I could be more rational and not take it personally.

Many moms say that from one day to the next, their children change---Hormones!

And sometimes the passages feel a little like the toddler years. You are supposed to be the mature one who doesn't yell and become emotional--but the humorous fact is that often when moms have teens, they are reversing in their own hormones and often have emotional and angry bouts themselves.

Grace, strong heartedness and love covers a multitude of sin!

Teen years are the making of the child into an adult and the humbling of the parent who realizes they never were in control of their children! But it also makes for forming great adult friendships that will give back to you the rest of their lives. Take heart and a deep breath and expect to see God's grace and provision in new ways--and above all, don't let it get you down. It is a normal process for all of history--the reason Solomon wrote Proverbs to teens,  and the means through which many adults become more humble and compassionate for others.

Take Heart! :)

Join Sarah Mae today for her last blog on Desperate! Don't go the road without a friend and find a mentor!

You Can't Win the Race if You Don't Submit to the Reins! Way #4

Nathan loved the story of the Black Stallion--a stunning, wild, untamed, powerful, jet-black horse that eventually became one of the fastest horses alive, or so the story goes!

When Nathan was a little boy and I would have to discipline him, I would explain, "Nathan, a great race horse like the Black Stallion had such potential to win a blue ribbon in races against all of the horses in the world. But until this strong, wild horse learned to submit to the reins of the jockey, it was just a wild horse with potential. To be able to run the race, he had to submit himself to the direction of the master, and accept the reins. Natie, you are like that great wild stallion--so much potential to be a champion--but you have got to learn to accept the reins of our discipline so that you can run your race in life like a champion!"

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Cuddled up on the couch, squished together in rapt attention, there were teachable moments as my children would look with wide eyes and open hearts when I would read them tales of conquerors and heroes--those who gave the strength of their lives to bettering or redeeming the world. Oh, how they loved great stories! And when their little imaginations were captured with those stories, I would seize the moment and say,

"To become a world class champion requires struggle, discipline, commitment and the will to submit to the process of developing greatness, and I believe that God has created each one of you to be a champion for His kindgom in your lifetime. I wonder how you are going to be used by God to change your world for the better?

Maybe one of you will be a great writer like C.S.Lewis, or a great composer like Handel when he wrote the Messiah! Or a war hero, or a missionary, or doctor--there are no limitations to what God can do through normal people who submit to His training and live by the power of His spirit inside of us!"

Discussions of bravery, sacrifice, honor, submission to life lessons would ensue and these were the moments when the souls of my children were formed.

"What do you think it costs to become a great soldier?" I would ask.

"What if you were called to be a great writer--what kind of discipline would that take?"

"What if God wanted you to write great music that would encourage and comfort people all over the world? How would you become the best?"

And so on--capturing their imaginations with the principles of discipline was a part of inspiring them to submit to our discipline, training and instruction.

Of course, much of training is repetition, over and over and over and talking all along the way.

Yet, reaching the heart with training is as much inspiration as it is training. Both are necessary--training in truth and wisdom, practicing submitting to that training--but knowing that with the submission comes a reward.

God does not arbitrarily issue us commandments to be hard on us. His commandments, which must be obeyed, are for our best--to protect us, to bless us, to cause us happiness and to help us become the best we can be.

Understanding that bravery, heroism, greatness, --a champion made, comes from submitting to training and to discipline, is a truth that will allow all children and all adults to be teachable and trainable to greatness.

Family Way # 4

"We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit."

Memory verse "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."

It seemed we had to learn to use this "way" often in the discipline and training of our children. "Our goal is for you to learn to obey. When you learn to obey mom and dad, you will practice becoming a trained child so that you will be able to hear God's voice and be able to obey Him."

If obedience is secured only through force, instead of securing the heart--and the imagination of the heart-- then the obedience will only take place when force is exerted. Many wonderful children have entered the world to find it a place of great temptation and allure. There are no guarantees of what choices our children will make or what their path will be.

However, I think for our own children, having a vision of why they needed to submit--to understand that choosing to obey shaped their own ability to become strong inside in order to become someone morally strong and powerful to bring righteousness into the world--greatly enhanced their desire to actually do the submitting.

Just today, I was talking to one of my older children. They were talking about how so many of their friends "posed" as believers, yet their lives were a constant stream of compromises.

The goal of our training in asking our children to submit to discipline and to listen to our correction, wasn't just the behavior secured, but it was to help our children develop a responsive and teachable heart, so that they would choose to bow their knee to God's ways, when we were with them and when they were alone.

They developed their own internal sense of wanting to become disciplined, trained adults who could pursue ideals of excellence for their Lord, because the motivation of their hearts had been secured.

And so we told many stories of soldiers, athletes, missionaries, other heroes and explained that discipline and submission was the pathway to strength and character and we were their best cheerleaders as we trained, corrected and encouraged them toward the vision of owning their lives to become someone who would have a great contribution to make in their world.

What is your child's God-given personality?

What motivates their heart?

How are you painting a vision for the person they will become when they learn to "take the reins?"

Used blog 3/27/21 Sowing seeds of faith, righteousness and waiting for the crop

"Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness."

Hosea 10:12

I have always loved fields of wildflowers. Seems to me when I see fields and fields of the beauty, (and blue is my favorite color), I almost feel like it is evidence of the invisible hands of God still planting flowers in His gardens to remind us that He is still creating and perpetuating life, even when we are not aware.

When looking at a tiny seed, it is impossible to see what will bloom from this minute speck of nothing, -the color it will produce, the bloom or fruit, or how large the plant will be. There is vast potential locked within, that under the right circumstances--planted in good soil, watered and covered in sunshine, a miracle will happen. The seed transforms into something more than itself--it gives birth to a plant that blooms and brings beauty, life, color and a fruit--and this is a miracle-almost something out of nothing.

And so, God calls us to sow--to sow broadly, generously, diligently.

Sometimes the seeds that He requires us to sow, do not obviously promise anything--yet, we are asked to believe in the potential--the latent miracles inside of these small life-seeds.

We are to sow with a view to righteousness--not seeing or knowing totally the vast potential of what is in our hands. But ours is to be faithful to sow, by faith, the seeds of promise given to us--

to cast the seed of promise into the soil of life, generously, diligently, faithfully--

And His is to do the miracle-

To take all of the planting of faith seeds, and love seeds, and integrity seeds, and faithfulness seeds, into the moments of our lives when no one else is looking;

faithfulness to the gospel and spreading the good news;

serving our children, and loving and helping our spouses;

praying and believing when no sprout of answer is in sight.

And yet, in time, in His hands,

there will be such a bounty of beauty, a harvest from the seeds planted in life, that we will finally see, that

He was creating the miracle right beside us--the seeds will indeed sprout into a harvest of righteousness and redemption that will be beyond what we could have imagined.

But, the harvest of such sowing is only for those who plant, and water and cultivate and wait, by faith, believing in the promise of what lays ahead.

So, dear God, let us look at the flowers you have planted and see the potential beautiful harvest of our lives, if we will only believe in the seed potential in our lives right now,

which by faith will become a harvest of righteousness beyond measure.

Home Is ... Defining the Living Art of Home-life (Desperate Chapter 13)

Auguste Renoir

"The wise woman builds her home; the foolish woman with her own hands tears it down." Proverbs 14:1

Today we are on Chapter 13 of Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

I think all mamas are artists. Women have such a gift and talent for making "place" warm, inviting, an environment that says "welcome." In a world where fast food is standard; toys are molded from plastic, relationships are virtual; and accountability little, we must all ask God to reinvigorate our imagination to understand and perceive what He designed and crafted life to be like, so that we may bring not just doctrine, but the tangible reality of Him into the life and ways of our home.

The life of Jesus should be electric--infused with excitement, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, love and excellence of character. Jesus calls his creation to be beautiful, a reflection of His own artistry.

And so we become co-creators---creating with him the reality of His life lived through all the moments of home life. This has become one of my most fulfilling tasks--the building of my home into a sanctuary of all that is excellent about the living, breathing God.

And now after so many years, I have seen the fruit of planning and building on my ideals as so many have found Him here, including my children. And so many have come to understand truth and compassion by just celebrating life here.

As I reviewed this chapter in Desperate on the Art of Life, I realized, it is still a love of mine--and now also of my children, who long to come home to the place where life is the most satisfying, pleasing, fun and peaceful--because it is the place where they were shaped and loved.

From time to time, I would craft purpose statements for myself as I would enter into a new year. Sometimes these would become descriptions of what I thought a family should be. Others, I would write about deeply bonding, loving relationships.

These goal-setting, purpose driven statements gave me a pathway to go forward on in crafting as an artist the beauty I wanted to create in my home.

But, even as a great house or an estate would require a vast and detailed plan--the colors, the interior decor, the garden, the toys that would fill the house, --in order to build it, so it is helpful to write down a vision of what it is you are building in order to be able to build it.

If you can't define it, you will not build it. Here is something I wrote about what I wanted my home to be-and the items to showcase and  and habits and values I would build into the life of my home.

Here is a part of what I wrote. What would you change or how would you define the home you are building?

Helen Allingham

Home is the foundation upon which great civilizations are built. It is the sacred dwelling where souls are forged, humans have great value and children are cherished and marriage is regarded  as holy.

Home is the place where virtue is shaped: minds are fed on great ideas, truth, and beauty, the finest of writing, the clearest of thinking, the food of thoughtfulness and insight are intentionally disseminated and  protected every day.

Home is the place where moral excellence is modeled, learned, practiced, upheld and honored daily; where innocence is allowed to grow, where holiness is prized, and cynicism is kept at bay.

Home is the place where faith is practiced, cherished, embraced, and reflected in the very breath of life throughout all the days lived in fellowship with those who abide there.

Home is the haven of inspiration, where the art of life is expressed and taught. Color is strewn into every corner, delectable food is tasted, art, books, and beauty crafted throughout the scenery of its rooms and walls.

Home is the place where the whispers of God's love are heard regularly, the touch of His hands are given intentionally throughout the day, the words of His encouragement and affirmation pointed to lay the foundation of loving relationships.

Home is the place where stories of heroism, sacrifice, love and redemption are celebrated and embraced and heard, so they can shape the dreams of the souls who live there.

Home is a place of ministry and the gifting and giving of redeeming words, thoughts, actions, and love to all who come inside its doors.

Home ties invisible strings to the hearts of children who live there to a history forged together, to a heritage defined and celebrated, to a calling that is shared with the name.

Home is the bedroom of family, that decides the destiny and definition of the life of future generations.

Home, the place designed by God to be the laboratory of righteousness and divine calling for each one whose life was fearfully and wonderfully made.

What a grand and auspicious work a woman is called to, how significant and far reaching her building encompasses when she understands the breadth of  her work of building generations in this place called home.

How do you picture the art of home life?

 ...

How about studying Desperate with a group of friends? You can purchase a copy here!

"As a sleep deprived mom of a 4 year old adjusting to a new preschool and a 16 month old that just learned how to climb, I came across this book in what has probably been the most intense season of my life so far!

I started it cautiously. I wouldn't have been able to handle another cliche' devotional, where every chapter lists another way I'm not trying hard enough.

But this book was full of grace, "We've been there"s, "it gets better"s, and "You're going to make it!"s. It's mix of sound theology and practical tips was just what I needed to make me feel like I'm not only going to make it through this next year, but I might even have what it takes to be successful as a mother to my kids!

I'd recommend this to any mom overwhelmed with young children. It's the perfect blend of encouragement and challenge!"

-Amazon Review

Many Thanks and a Little Interview about ADHD, OCD, and Nathan's views of it all

Thanks so much for helping me! ~Nathan

One of the best things to me about the blogging community is the wonderful friends I have made over the past few years. These sweet women are motivated, love the Lord and want to have an impact through their inspiring messages.

Because of you and my sweet friends at Themobsociety.com (mothers of boys),   Nathan reached his goal. I was in Dallas for an interview, and couldn't be present at the party, but checked my phone constantly to see what the Lord was doing. It was pretty exciting for our family to watch the amounts grow!

Thanks so very much. Thought you would want to see this article as written on the mobsociety's blog. I so appreciate each and every one of you who were of so much encouragement.

A Facebook Party Recap {Interview with Nathan Clarkson}

March 13, 2013 by Alle

Did you hear the news?  This incredible BoyMom community had a HUGE hand in helping our own MOB Writer, Nathan Clarkson fund the beginning stages of his incredibly powerful film project, Confessions of a Prodigal Son.

Yesterday afternoon, the Kickstarter campaign hit the $10,000 mark and it’s still climbing!  If you didn’t get a chance to jump on board, you’re not too late — you can donate, share the link with friends and family, and pray for the work that God has already begun with this project!

As part of our celebration, we hosted a special interview with Nathan on our Facebook page last night and had such a fun time connecting with our wonderful BoyMoms!  In case you missed out on the festivities, we wanted to showcase the interview portion of our evening with you here  — we hope you’ll find encouragement and hope as Nathan shares his journey of being an “out-of-the-box” boy and the incredible work God has done in his life as a result!

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Nathan, you represent a sense of hope to our BoyMoms because so many of them are dealing with out-of-the-box boys just like you.  We know you dealt with ADHD, ODD, and OCD growing up.  What are some things you might say to our moms to give them hope for their own out-of-the-box boys tonight? 

I think maybe first to realize that being out-of-the-box isn’t something simple to deal with, but rather it’s something to celebrate!  Somewhere along the way I had to realize that God had actually made me like this!  I’m sure my mom and all you moms out there, sometimes worry how to deal with us OCD, ADHD, ODD boys, us sometimes being a little out of hand.  I’m sure it can feel helpless sometimes, but I think once you realize that God actually created us this way (the way He actually intended), You will start seeing your task less of “dealing with disorders” and begin to see your amazing job as guiding our gifts and helping us become the best men we can be!  Also, as far as hope goes, I see now in my life that all these things are often considered disorders in places like a classroom.  Now, they are the strengths that have enabled me to be doing what I’m doing — to live an out-of-the-box life!

Here’s a beautiful quote from your mama, Sally Clarkson: “Read as much as you can about any issues your child may have so that you can know how to neutralize issues.  When I understood my OCD children and that they could not help being the way they were, I knew it was not a discipline issue, but a capacity issue.”

It was so helpful for me to have a mom, who not only put up with, but understood what I was going through.  Oftentimes, the things that make us different are the things that can make us feel lonely and want to hide.  But having a partner (my mom) in the game with me, enabled me to cross any bridge I came across.  I had a teammate.  That’s all we need.

Nathan, we love what you share about the reason you were able to turn your heart back home after walking away for awhile.  Tell our moms how they can make their homes a place their boys want to come back to.

To this day, no matter where I go or what I do, I have my mom’s voice ringing in my head.  It follows me into every kind of situation and choice I make.  It’s not a voice of judgement or one listing off rules, but rather it’s the thousands of times she would look up from a book she would be reading and say, “Nathan, you are a Hero, just like the one we are reading about,” or “Nathan, no matter where you go or what you do, I will always love you,” and “Nathan, I am your best friend and champion, I will help you become whatever you were meant to be,” and “Nathan, God has made you to be His man, don’t ever forget that.”  I think that all of us find ourselves wandering away from what we know is right.  But as I would find myself in places or situations I knew I shouldn’t be in, I would begin to hear the words my mom had spoken to me thousands of times.  Not condemning me, or looking at my mistakes, but reminding me of who I was made to be, calling me back to the hero I had inside of me.  I always knew that no matter where I went, I had a home that had arms to fall into when I couldn’t stand and voices reminding me and pushing me to be the man I was made to be.

God gave Nathan a dream to tell stories in Hollywood with a redemptive edge.  Growing up, how did stories impact your life, Nathan and how do you think God uses them today? Stories have the ability to inspire us, make us think, push us, and remind us who we were meant to be.  Since I was young there were stories of heroes being read and shown to me, whether it was Superman or the great emancipator William Wilberforce.  I began seeing myself in their stories and emulating the kind of heroic lives they had.  Unfortunately, most of the stories now are simply inspiring us to live “how we feel,” pushing us towards a painful life apart from God and His perfect plan with the guise of “freedom.”  I think now, more than ever, good stories are needed to bring light into an ever darkening world.  Stories that show truth and remind us of the people we were meant to be!

Speaking of stories, tell us the story behind the movie you’re making, “Confessions of a Prodigal Son.”  Why is it so important for the boys of our generation?

I think The Prodigal Son is a story that we can all identify with, it’s a story of redemption that we all crave and need!  I think today, we live in a generation of Prodigals — not bad or evil people, just a generation lost in the consequences of trying to live life alone and without God.  I think this story is the amazing picture of what God does for all of us, He reminds us that we are His, takes us back into His arms (no matter where we have been), and helps us become the people we were meant to be!  Who doesn’t need to hear that story?!

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As we concluded our evening, Nathan shared that his team is currently working on a website for the movie and a unique site called, The Prodigal Wall.  This wall of stories will be a place for people to post their Prodigal story or leave a prayer request for one that needs to return home.  Nathan hopes this will be a space for prayer, encouragement, and hope!  To stay up-to-date on all the details of the film and related projects, be sure to head over to their Facebook page,“Confessions of a Prodigal Son” and click the “like” button.

The amount has now grown to: $11,240 and will be used, with accountability, to get the project started. We will keep you abreast of what happens next!

We ended our party with this question and we’ll ask it again here:

What do YOU most relate to in the Prodigal son story?

I would love to hear what you mamas love about this story--I think we are all prodigals and Jesus is looking for all of us to return to him.

• About Alle

  Most people run on food, sleep + strong coffee to get through their day. We're pretty sure Alle's energy comes from pure shots of creativity(although, she'd never turn down your offer for a Coke)! Her heart is fullest when she is being an image-bearer of the Ultimate Creator with her design work, writing, + music. Her day-to-day is filled with old children's books, large doses of refrigerator art, life-giving music + the world's best cuddles from her two favorite little people, Augustine + Caedmon. She prays that by infusing her messy-but-beautiful nest with worship + creativity, they too will learn to become followers of the King. With a passion to see the online conversation filled with the redemptive work of Jesus, Alle has partnered with her husband, Nate at Finding Eden where they document their creative journey as brand builders, blog designers, + story crafters for bloggers, ministries, + creativepreneurs.

  Thanks, Allie, for writing this article!

Just got back from the airport and I think I will sleep tonight! Friday I will write about Desperate!

Spring ... A Fresh Start Is Coming! Take time to breathe it in!

“Is the spring coming?" he said. "What is it like?"... "It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine...” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Spring is just around the corner. What a great time to make a fresh start at life!

A fresh start…kind of like the rains moving and  the sun shining to make things fresh and clean or the sprout of a new flower from the melting snow.

This truth also reminds me of a verse in Song of Solomon 2:11-12.

“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.” Song of Solomon 2:11-12

This past season has had its challenges,  and sometimes winter can appear to be a season when many things have lost their life, but spring provides a pathway to new possibilities. The transition from one year to the next,  feels like there has hardly been enough time to pause and catch your breath. Sometimes, after being in such a busy season, the mere mention of taking a few moments to simply rest feels daunting.

Is there even enough time to just sit and be still before the Lord?

Spring is a time to begin anew in spending time with God, even in noticing His fingerprints--in the budding of leaves on trees, daffodils, iris's, tulips. Warmer weather. Baby animals abounding. All sorts of visible signs of His art. Be sure to notice them in front of your children.

There are always going to be people and circumstances that are vying for your attention, and seeking to suck the life out of you.

Spring is a time to make new goals, time to cultivate life and time to refresh your heart and soul even as the earth is renewed.

Despite how overwhelmed you may feel, time in His presence is not only possible, it is important. You don’t have to strive for it. As a precious daughter of the King, you have full access to His presence. The key to resting is simply being still and knowing that He is God and He is good. When you take the time to remember His kindness it is possible to remain calm amidst any storm or busy season.

In these next few weeks leading up to Easter I encourage you to

1. Take some time to remember what Jesus did for you and your family. Ponder the greatness of His sacrifice. He is no longer on the cross! He has risen! This means something. Personalize it for you and your family! You were purchased with a price and the value of something is measured by what it was worth. Jesus gave everything, His whole self. That makes you pretty valuable. Talk about something of great worth to your children and ask them what would be as valuable as giving a life away!

2. Read the Easter story aloud, one chapter each day, from each of the gospels and see if your family can pick out the differences in the telling.

3. Don’t miss out on what He did for you or forget to notice what He did at Easter. The Spirit of the living God is inside of you and His powerful resurrection life pouring through you. It is a stunning truth that we don't want to miss. Make an Easter tree and use construction paper to have your children decorate crosses or decorated eggs to hang on some branches from your own garden or pussy willows you can put in a vase. Punch a hole through each cross or egg and hang it on your Easter tree.

4.Pick flowers or purchase some lovely blooms and put them around your house.

5. Take time to have a spring day celebration--make a picnic of small, bite size sandwiches, fruit, cheese and enjoy outside or place a blanket in front of a window and have an inside picnic and look for the signs of spring.

As you celebrate the risen Lord this month with your family, spend time talking about Jesus' resurrection and His "aliveness" with your children. Listen to them as they grapple with what that means and help them explore the beautiful, vibrant, ever-present life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Blessings,

Sandra

My dear, lovely friend, Sandra Maddox, who started and leads a mom group with mentors  called Treasured,

at Saddleback Church in California!

And all of her mamas do feel treasured.

Thanks, Sandra for inviting us to celebrate spring.

Today at MomHeart: September McCarthy gives us a peek into a special day with her family in, "Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk."

What to do with an out of the box child? Send them to Hollywood! And giveaways!

Join us for giveaways, a party and celebration tonight at 9:00 eastern time when the MobSociety, features an interview between me and my wonderful, ADHD, OCD, artistic child, Nathan!

Go here for more!

www.themobsociety.com

When all of the other children stayed in the sidewalk when we walked around a lake at a 5 star hotel, Nathan was skipping, climbing a tree, following the squirrels.

As a small child, when Nathan had a hard time settling down to sleep, others said I was too lenient. I scratched his back and told him stories to help relax him.

He sang, pretended, wiggled, ran, talked a lot and was the pied piper--the kids all loved him, the parents wondered if being out of the box could be the right way to shepherd this child who was bigger than life.

Tonight, join Nathan and me for an interview at the Mobsociety (https://www.facebook.com/TheMobSociety) for a facebook party. We will be giving away:

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe (by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae)

Heartfelt Discipline (by Clay Clarkson)

A book on purity for girls (from Nathan’s girlfriend, Rachael Stroud)

Wisdom Chasers: Catching Glimpses of God in Pursuit of Truth (by Nathan Clarkson)

A music CD from Joel Clarkson

One person will win it all!

WILL YOU HELP US GET THIS LAUNCHED?

My out of the box child is now in Hollywood, wishing to change the world. Many of you wonderful friends have already committed to the goal of his $10,000 movie start up. Through you and other visionaries, God has helped Nathan raise $8245 toward his 10,000 goal. Won't you pray about being a part of the team? Here is more about his story--and we need you to help us complete his  Kickstarter off the ground! Go here for more information!

And be sure to scroll down all the way to find out where the party and interview between Nathan and me will be held and be sure to enter the giveaways!

Masterworks Festival became interested in Nathan's movie and recently interviewed him on their blog:

Masterworks, a great Christian summer conference for students in the arts and music to learn how to make an impact on their world for Christ, interviewed Nathan as an alumni.

Claire: What's going on in your life this year? (Family, work/career, etc.)

Nathan: Hmm, well, a lot actually! I just got back from speaking at two of my family's conferences, showing a promotional trailer, raising funds, and getting the word out about a new film that I wrote! It was a lot of fun and is really encouraging to get positive feedback. And as always, it was so nice to still be involved with my family as they continue to use their lives in ministering to other people!

Claire: When and how did you get interested in acting?

Nathan: To be honest I feel like I have always been acting, whether it was as a boy pretending to be Superman or dressing up as one of my favorite historical figures, I have always loved falling into characters and telling stories. Hearing/reading/watching stories was what lit my heart on fire since I was young, so it was only natural that I would grow up and search for ways to tell stories with my life. Somewhere in the middle of high school, I realized that I also loved people, and I saw what an impact the movies and stories had on all of us—shaping our decisions and feelings by inspiring, connecting, sympathizing, and moving us. So, I decided I wanted to be a part of the movement that was telling the stories that connected with my generation. In high school I attended MasterWorks, where I began to realize I could use my passion and natural gifts for God’s purposes. A little after high school I attended an acting/music commutation called AMTC (Actor Models Talent for Christ) where I was invited to attend The New York Film Academy. And the rest, I guess, is history!

Claire: What about your experience at MasterWorks most influenced you?

Nathan: I think the thing that so inspired and influenced me about MasterWorks was seeing and getting to take part in this amazing community of people who had realized they had been given amazing gifts and had decided they were going to use them for a bigger purpose than simply acclaim, fame, money or recognition. They had decided to use their God-given gifts to praise our Creator and bring people closer to Him. I think it is so rare for people to see their gifts and talents as something given by God and for God. Being at MasterWorks set the foundation for how I could use my God-given gifts.

Claire: You wear many different hats: writer, actor, film producer/director, musician, son of two popular speakers/writers… As a result, have you found it difficult for you to determine who you are as a person? Who or what defines you? Describe that journey of finding your identity.

Nathan: Being in LA, each day I see a city looking for identity: everyone scrambling, chasing, and doing almost anything thinkable to find themselves, to discover purpose, and to create their identity. And because of that, everyday I see people wrapping up their entire identity in such temporal and fading things, whether it's their talent, their ‘art,’ their sexuality, or even their popularity and money. I see people building their foundations of identity on things that will surely disappoint or disappear eventually. I have even found myself falling into the trap of finding my identity in things of this world, like my acting, music, writing, and even my family! But somewhere along the way, after I had been brought to my knees by the humbling process of failed acting jobs, losing friends, and a career with nothing to show, God found me and has been leading me down a path of finding my worth and identity in Him. This is the most life-changing, freeing experience I could ever feel, because He is the one thing that will NEVER fail. Even if everything else does, I know my worth is found in Him!

Claire: You recently wrote a modern-retelling of the Prodigal Son, and now you are in the process of raising funds to make this into movie. What inspired this, and what is the message that you want to portray through this project?

Nathan: Awhile back when I was going through one of my hardest times, I randomly found myself reading the story of the Prodigal Son, and little did I know what a powerful, recurring tale it would be in my life. In the months to come, I found myself trying to follow God but often getting lost in my own desires and foolish decisions, wondering what I was supposed to do. BUT, every time I found my head in my hands as a result of my decisions, I felt God’s loving arms holding me and His voice calling me back to the man I was made to be—just like the Prodigal. So, as I began to look, I realized I lived in a city and really, a world of prodigals, not bad or evil people—just people looking for meaning, purpose and love. Often, letting the deep desire we all have for those things led them into places, situations, and answers that too often turn out to be false, temporary, or even destructive.

I decided I wanted to be more intentional about what kinds of projects I would be in, which led me to look for projects that intended to bring light to a dark world! But unfortunately, I found out quickly that projects with the messages I desired to tell, messages I had been brought up to tell, were few and far between. So, one morning, I woke up and felt a gentle stirring in my heart to write a screenplay (something I had never done) with the messages I truly believe the world needs to hear. Long story short, a month later I had a script that had been written as a modern retelling of the prodigal son entitled Confessions of a Prodigal Son. Shortly after, some amazing people and I shot a trailer (in one day) for raising funds... and here I am!

Claire: You have a desire to use film and acting to influence the world for Christ. What needs do you see in the Hollywood scene, and what would you say are effective ways to accomplish this goal?

Nathan: I would love to see more people truly realizing the knowledge that God has created us individually with love and care to use our gifts to praise Him, and in doing so, bringing other people closer to Him as well. Hollywood needs people with a vision bigger than themselves, but one of eternity with a passion to create quality reflections of God’s amazing love through whatever medium possible.

Claire: What challenges have you faced as an actor in the professional world? How has your faith influenced how you live?

Nathan:

1. This might sound cliche, but I still deal with the pain of rejection and feeling not good enough, but that’s where finding my identity in God helps.
2. The feeling of loneliness, when you decide to follow your dreams. Oftentimes the way you can get the most discouraged is by feeling like you are always doing things on your own—every trial, every doubt—but that is why I made a choice a while ago to get involved in an amazing church, and that really helps me navigate this crazy thing called life.
3. Having to say "no" when "yes" would be so much easier. It is such an amazing feeling to find who you are and who you are called to be. But, with that comes who you are NOT called to be, and sometimes you have offers or situations come up, where, with just a little bit of compromise you can make money, get seen, or just feel important. This often makes saying "no" extremely hard, even if it’s clear I should. However, every time I have made the hard decisions to turn down roles/jobs/places I know aren’t a part of who I have been called to be, I see God lead me down His path into things 100 times better that what I could have imagined. It’s not always in my timing or the way I thought I wanted it, but it’s always amazing and better than what I could have done myself.

Claire: What are your long-term goals/dreams (acting or otherwise)?

Nathan: To be honest, I would just love living a life that brings light to a dark world and shows God’s amazing love for me and everyone with whatever I am doing! Though, making and acting in films that do that would be super awesome!

Claire: How can we be praying for you?

Nathan: I would love prayer for wisdom in every situation I come across as well as the continued ability to use my passions and gifts to connect with people!

Claire: What is your favorite movie, style of music, food, and place to travel?

Nathan:

• Movie: There are so many! But apart from all my favorite trilogies, I would have to say The Truman Show...Sooo amazing.
• Style of music: I love EVERY style of music (I know, SO cliche). Lately, I have been coming to an appreciation for pop music. I think that when it is done the right way, it has the ability to connect with someone and leave a message that will continue to play in their mind while using minimal time and potentially sharing deep personal messages in a non time-consuming format. And when you think about that, it’s kind of a beautiful idea!
• Food: Oh my, I am kind of a foodie. My classic is either a Caesar salad or a good grilled chickensandwich.
• Place to travel: Oh—I love all of Europe. My parents were missionaries there when they were young, so they have taken me back across the amazing countries! I am almost fully English and would someday love to go and explore England and maybe even find some of my history!

Be sure to join us tonight--and share about our giveaway! Thanks so very much. We are all very excited!

For more information, please go to:

A wonderful, insightful blog for mamas of boys:

www.themobsociety.com

Join them on:

www.facebook.com/themobsociety

Help us promote it on twitter!

www.twitter.com/boyraisers

Please tell us what you think and leave a comment to let us know you are there! Blessings sweet friends!

Way 3 Honor and Obedience: The Foundation of Worshipping God (Mentoring Monday)

François Antoine de Bruycker--The Firstborn

24 Family Ways # 3

We honor and obey our parents with a respectful attitude.

From the first days of life, we speak the attitudes of faith into our little babies. When we treat them with gentleness and respond to them with patience and treat them as little infants of great value, we are already training the value of honor and respect into their brain patterns.

Honor is a value that must have precedence in a home, so that a child can understand the importance of  people, and  to learn to bow their knee before others who deserve respect.

The beginning of learning to value a fetus, an old, frail or infirm adult, or a person of different race or color begins with the heart attitude of learning to honor and learning to submit oneself to others.

hon·or

Definition: to show high respect or esteem

To regard with great respect

Many years ago, I was taking Sarah, Joel, Nathan and Joy to a children's museum in Ft. Worth. We were standing in line behind what appeared to be grandparents with a little boy about 5 or 6. As we stood waiting our turn to enter, the little boy suddenly laid down on the floor, began screaming and then when his grandpa tried to pick him up, the boy started slapping and hitting and spitting on him.

Immediately all four of my children looked back at my face to see what I was going to do. Joel said, "Mama, don't you know? We always look at your eyes to see what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to behave and react in life."

What do your children see when they look at your eyes?

Children naturally look to their parents for an example and model of what is expected.

One of the reasons, I believe, that God required children to honor  and obey their parents was to give them a visual and actual practice of what it would look like to give honor  and obey and value and worship to God.

How can our children learn the value of worshipping and honoring God if they have not seen it in the warp and woof of their daily lives?

It is very difficult to behave in belief and in worship to God--to understand that we are below him and are to bow to His holiness--if we have never been required to show respect to others in our lives.

There must be some visible, actual ways of teaching children respect and honor as a heart value so that they can learn the concept.

There are so many practical ways and tips to teach a child honor and obedience.

However, the most important thing to realize is that it starts with the heart. 

Respect, giving worth and honor to someone, is not a matter of forcing a child to submit to an authority  because the parent  is  stronger and bigger and can exert his power. Force of authority is the opposite of winning and training a child's heart to honor and obedience.

HOW DO WE TEACH THIS VALUE?

"Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence" I Peter 3:15

It begins with an attitude of gentleness and reverence from our own obedient and honoring heart. The power is in our own maturity to train in maturity.

A wise mother looks into the heart of her child to understand what is mulling around in the mind and seat of thoughts and motivation. Honor is passed on to a child when we take the time to know their personality, understand their heart attitude and to be able to say or evaluate if a behavior was merely foolishness or if behavior showed a disrespectful and rebellious heart.

I corrected my children so very often because of the attitude I could detect--when they were willful or prideful or selfish in response to a person or situation--much more than I corrected for behavior.

Wise behavior was trained and modeled and corrected over time. However the essence of training our children to honor and obey was an issue of teaching them to submit their wills out of a heart of respect, rather than out of us forcing them to comply.

Understand that all of us are sinful and selfish and that our human way is to "push against" anyone who infringe upon our rights. And so it is natural to be selfish and immature, but it is supernatural to be mature. 

To become mature takes a whole lifetime--at least I am still working on it. To grow in maturity and to become wiser, humbler and more discerning and submissive in my behavior has taken me years of input, training, understanding, conviction, reforming my ways and repenting--and it is a process, not a one time act.

And so it is with a child, hundreds of times teaching, correcting, loving, training, and over and over again.

For this reason, a parent should not think the child is intentionally disobedient all the time just to thwart the parent--all children are born with such a nature and all children will grow in strength and ability to obey when consistently trained and guided and corrected.

This is a process.

Ours is to wisely keep them on the path of righteousness and to give them the value and love for righteousness and to correct and train them as they are going.

Just a few practical ideas:

When our children were little, we taught them to address adults with "Miss" or "Mister"--as our children called our adult friends either Mister Brown or Miss Deb to show that there was a distinction between adults and children. Different parts of the US and different countries have ways of imparting this understanding of the distance between adults and children, but it is a necessary distinction which helps children to learn the attitude of respect--to see a difference in themselves and in adults and authorities.

Teaching manners  is a wonderful way to teach children to value the worth of other people. Giving up chairs so others have a comfortable seat. Letting other adults or guests go first in line at a buffet, or serving our guests food or beverages before we were served were small ways of building a pattern of giving honor to others more than ourselves, so that our children could understand the whole concept.

Writing thank you notes and noticing the worth of other people through words helped our children have a pattern for respect. Honoring those in position--a pastor, a teacher, the President, leaders--in front of our children instead of always criticizing them in our children's presence helped them to learn that we also honored people.

In a world of cynicism and sarcasm, we must rule over the influences of our children when so often media and the internet feels that any person and any office is something open to being criticized or being made fun of in public.

This creates a culture that has no sense of honor or respect. Guarding our words and behavior is so important if we are to instill a heart value for respect, rather than just trying to force obedience.

Even small babes can learn to honor their parents by teaching them to use self-control. When our babes were very young and they were whining or screaming, but old enough to understand us, we would place them in a crib and say, "I am so sorry, but mommy (or Daddy) cannot listen to you while you scream or whine (or whatever). When you choose to talk to me in a normal voice, I will listen to you."

It was amazing how quickly our children learned to talk in quiet, gentle voices--even as young, crying babes.

But for a child to learn honor, a parent must display honor. The way we speak to each other and to our children should be with pleasant, loving words and voices. When we expect them to learn civility and honor, we have to exhibit it ourselves in the way we treat other people. (generally speaking, of course --we all raise our voices or become angry or frustrated on occasion.)  And even if we do become angry or raise our voices, we should always apologize if we expect our children to apologize. We must exhibit the same behavior we are expecting of them.

How can we train our children to act respectfully if we do not behave in a civilized, gentle, respectful way?

But then there is the second part of the way: obeying our parents with a respectful attitude.

Though this is a big area, and I cannot possibly address it all in one small article, the process of teaching a child the pattern of obeying is a long term pathway of learning obedience, little by little.

Teaching children to obey is essential to their character and moral strength, but it is a process. The beginning of learning obedience is to learn a value like this one--We honor and obey our parents with a respectful attitude.

So many parents do not teach basic expectations but merely react to their children in frustration--without having ever laid down the training of expectations of what is to be obeyed.

This merely frustrates parent and child as it is difficult for a child to learn to obey if they have never been told what is expected of them--any more than I could expect to please an employer if I did not clearly understand what was expected.

Training little by little is the key to having long term obedience and honor.

Since Clay and I believe that parenting is an organic process, considering the personalities of children, the sex and age of children and the ways to reach the children's hearts, we do not give specific advice but wisdom principles to follow.

Consequently, the first place to start is in giving our children a pattern of what to expect by being with them all the time when they are little so that we can speak to their little hearts, needs, shaping their values and understanding of behavior by directing it.

The children whose parents are most engaged and involved when their children are little are, generally speaking, the ones whose children are easier to train, as the children have learned to expect attention and love and training.

And so we teach them this way, teach them the memory verse and use this way and verse as a way of correction:

What is our way about obedience? What do you need to do in order to obey mommy now?

And so that I do not write a whole book tonight, I will leave you with this thought:

How are you modeling honor and obedience to God in  your home, by your attitudes, actions and obedience--so that your children will have a true picture to follow?

 

The Gift of a Quiet Day

The scene outside my kitchen sink.

Sequestered in my home with "blizzard warnings" buzzing on our phones, winds blowing, snow drifting, most of Monument is indoors today to avoid the storm. An unexpected gift from the Lord where all of us at home have gathered around in holiday spirit to enjoy the haven God has granted.

Freshly milled whole-wheat, pecan, apple pancakes with bacon was breakfast served at 11:00, accompanied by rousing discussion and sharing of ideas with Sarah and Joel, Clay and me. What grace to hear the hearts alive and passionate and idealist on a day when we all expected to be busy in other places.

View from my living room window

 In my quiet living room, listening to my Pandora channel to Alexander Desplat and .......

Reading and lots of tea and coffee will be next for me--A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle and The Long Legged House by Wendell Berry will be with me on my couch in front of the fireplace.

Praying for Joy at the nationals speech tournament in Arkansas as she gives her persuasive and learns more how to defend her ideas--and that her adventure with co-speakers would be blessed with delight and friendship.

Praying for Nathan, that God would protect him in Hollywood and lead him to other believers and bless his project.

Praying for Sarah as she grasps for high ideals and goals and the impossible that God will have to provide along the way.

Praying for Joel as he pursues his music and crafts new pieces for Easter and strains to make a living at his art, and preparing for the next step.

Asking God to bless dear Clay as he is so filled with wisdom come from living long in thought and presence of God and how we may serve Him best our autumn season, filled with years of seeing Him better and knowing his faithfulness through it all.

 

Homemade oatmeal-wheat-honey bread is rising in the kitchen which will be served with fresh potato kale soup, giving by a friend, who is an angel in disguise as a human.

Afternoon movie will be shared somewhere along the way with tea and cookies--like a holiday unexpected.

Stop! Can be such an unexpected gift when Hurry has been the mode.

May your Saturday be blessed wherever you find yourself.

Used Blog 3/17/2021 These Are a Few of My Favorite Things ...and keeping a civilized life

"Do you just drink tea and light candles all the time every day? When do you get work accomplished and what do you do with the rest of your time?" was the question of someone who had read a few of my posts but didn't know much about me.

I am 59, almost 60, and I have never been busier in my life.  I am a cook by ideals, personality and taste and so I cook most nights, still have 2-4 adult children living at home or coming in and out, am married to a visionary husband who has an endless list of ideals and books and projects he wants us to accomplish in the next 10 years. Every day people make messes around here and bills have to be paid and blogs written, speaking trips, talking to each child or writing them every day and friends and Bible studies and holidays, and new books each year and mentoring. And the list goes on and on--just like yours does.

Why wouldn't I want to light candles and listen to music and try to have some moment in my day that seemed quiet and peaceful?

When I was in my mid-40's, I suddenly realized that a wise woman keeps her own soul alive as no one else was looking out for my soul but me. This is a long-distance race and doesn't slow down so far as I can see, so it must be run with wisdom. Sabbath rest for my emotions, my body, my soul--my everything, is necessary for me to last well.

Unfortunately for me it means, not leaving comments on my own blog with women whose stories and comments I love to read--because I would have to sacrifice my personal time at home if I did. It means not answering important messages on facebook and letting many emails go--as no one, especially me,  can keep up with thousands and thousands of messages a year  and keep a balanced life and still have a quiet time and walk daily for my health and look my children and husband in the face and listen to them and not go crazy from always being busy--I had to cut somewhere. And I rarely answer my phone, no matter who or how often,  unless it is my children or Clay.

Now, after a busy season I find my soul desperately needing to relax and rest and just be quiet without any new adrenalin-filled ideas or people needing me.

When I can, I sleep! Sleep keeps a body from getting ill and keeps it healthy.

I must take care of myself and intentionally  step back and enjoy a few favorite things-because in giving out the past months, I am empty and so I must fill myself back up so I will have more to give--it is an endless cycle of giving--filling up--giving--filling up, that must take place for life to flourish.

When I travel, especially if I'm to be alone, there are a few things I intentionally pack and bring along to help me feel at home, while away so often--a rose table covering or scarf  and vanilla candles; Yorkshire gold tea and a china tea cup (keeps it hotter!); my favorite flower-covered lap throw as I hate to be cold on planes or in a hotel room or anywhere; lots of music--celtic, soundtracks of Pride and Prejudice, Mrs. Potter, Ladies in Lavendar; Joshua Bales and of course my wonderful Joel's music and lots of indy artists.

When I get home I will take long walks in the mountains and enjoy more of the things I've drawn close at home--surroundings in the color blue and also rose;

sweet friends who love me and care about me-

-I need them so much with not so much family in my life--my children are some of those  best friends, and there are a few special buddies who love me no matter what;

great books and stories, Victoria magazine;

salad with lots of veggie's and avocado and walnuts or pecans and always onions;

chocolate--especially any chocolate with nuts; (dark chocolate salted almond) and especially Lindt--the dark one with the blue foil wrapper; if it isn't going to be with nuts.

a hot bath that covers my whole body--I love baths;

talking with Nate and Joy  to see how California and the other far places in the world are doing;

sitting around my dinner table or in the den talking and laughing every night with Clay, Sarah, and Joel--and of course, Kelsey, our beloved, neurotic golden retriever.

reading encouraging letters or emails from friends; Calling my loved ones for long talks,  to keep up, when I have planned it;

studying the Word and being with my precious Jesus and pondering Him! Reading soul stirring books and captivating novels.

I know it's time to surround myself with these things so I can be restored.

Comfort for me will be something of a rhythm. Scrambled Eggs with cheese, home made, whole grain bread, potato soup, French Food  and Mexican food and fresh food (love fruit and veggies).

Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies with pecans that Sarah makes ... (The secret to good cookies is to always whip the butter, vanilla, sugar and eggs by themselves for 5-10 minutes on high and then don't bake the cookies too long--they will cook a little more after they are out and on  a stone and they will dry out a little, and you don't want them tough!)

Of course there must be pots of strong tea. And good strong coffee. And some great English drama series or mysteries or dramas that we can be romantic or adventuresome with and enjoy the countryside and dream.

Some favorites that we have watched over the years  (we almost have them memorized!) are:

Pride and Prejudice (the new and the old 8 hour one!)

Sense and Sensibility

Persuasion

Emma

Larkrise to Candleford--so wonderful and new, but they are canceling it after its 4th season!

David Copperfield

Wives and Daughters

Victoria and Albert and Young Victoria

Mrs. Brown

Daniel Deronda

and more........

These are some books we've found which paint delightful pictures of life-giving homes ...

Brambly Hedge--delightful children's picture book series from England--more contemporary than Beatrix Potter and has the most inviting pictures of the inside of an English Home that is lived in by precious animals--lovely-- and worth buying second hand for your own library.

Pilgrim Inn--a favorite book from an old English author, Elizabeth Goudge, whose story is about the redemption of people in a home, and family after World War II-a book for adult readers or older teens. Also shows the mending of a marriage and grace that comes through acceptance. Makes the home come alive through a window into loving, giving grace, and living as a family. (All of Gouge's books.)

Wendall Berry books to harken me to ideals, community, real relationships, a technology free life and centering on what matters.

TV series on Net Flicks about history, mystery, great stories, drama, story--things that are fun for my soul.

I love Edith Schaeffer's books--The Hidden Art of Homemaking and What is a Family for instruction and stories about her own family and the life of using her home as a place of ministry and of course the story of L'Abri; a must-read for families to picture the hand of God at work in the life of people who live by faith--heart warming stories.

Also, I collect old Eloise Wilkin (an artist) books because her beautiful pictures of children in family, playing, doing chores, helping mommy and wonderful pictures of home are a great way to put pictures in your children’s minds of the importance of family and home. These are simple children’s picture books, and the first imprint I put on my children’s brains about family, home and Mommy!

Loved the melted cheese passages in Heidi, another must-read-aloud–a picture of salvation through a great story. It gives us a beautiful picture of creation. This author wrote purposefully, to give children literature to lead them to Christ. (We translated one of her stories into English for the first time in our book that we publish called The Gold Thread–the story was called The Rose Child and can be found through our website.)

Just David–also one of my favorite books in the world–such a picture of a child’s heart redeeming a whole village because of is wonderful integrity–we published this, too so you can find this through our website also!

The Little Princess–also a must read-aloud in our home–the meal she took on her porch was especially delightful!

I could go on and on about things that bring me pleasure, but these a few of my favorite things. And I will continue building into the treasure chest of these jewels so that my soul can stay healthy and strong, because a mature woman takes care of her own soul.

So I am off to rest and lie down in green pastures and let the Lord restore my soul while I give him a little practical help by pulling back and waiting till I am filled up again!

Even with Elijah, He touched him, fed him, let him sleep and then repeated it all over again.

So, use this weekend well and choose those things which will fill the drained places.

Peace, Selah