What choices will you take in the pathway of your life? What story will be told of you!
Furrowed eyebrows above large dark eyes is the signal to me as a mom that something is not right with the world with one of my children.
Like my other children, this child had faced the challenge of having our family in public life and feeling so limited and inadequate to live into such a pressured role.
"Mama, do you ever feel like a hypocrite when you are out there in the public in such a visible way? Doesn't it get hard when you fail, to keep writing ideals? Do you ever feel disqualified?"
This particular child has been thrust into leadership roles, but pressure does come from putting your neck out there and trying to stand for Biblical ideals in a culture that disdains the sacred and committed values written there.
"Yes, you know that I often feel like quitting ministry, about 10 times a week!" was my reply.
But you have to always remember, our message isn't that we are perfect and confident and strong and that is why we have the authority to write and speak. Instead, our message is that in spite of the fact that we have blown it, make mistakes, struggle with the dark side of life and don't always feel like loving others, that God has been faithful to us--and that He redeems every moment, every mistake, every failure.
It is a risk to stand for something, to seek after the Holy ways of God, to keep going when you are weary to the bone, to love when you feel so hurt and rejected by those who call themselves Christians.
Yet, my own ministry keeps going because the older I get, the more grateful I am for this personal love that carries me through so many difficulties. Wisdom from His words speaks to me every day and guides me. Forgiveness for my deep and always abiding selfishness is absolutely the grace of my life.
I am so very excited about sharing this book because there is such hope in God's ways. There is grace and goodness in His answers.
I can speak about raising children because in spite of the face that I made mistakes, that I didn't have all the answers, that sometimes I did not even like my children--God faithfully took the work of my heart and made it enough.
I can speak to living through the dark halls of marriage conflict because I have lived through years of having to learn over and over again how to forgive, how to serve, how to love unconditionally. Seeing that making a commitment that was for me unchangeable, led me in the path of maturity and grace. And so now after 33 years, my marriage has become to me a story of His gracious love and wisdom.
Financial challenges, illnesses, car wrecks, church splits, depression--all of these places have become an eventual light to my life because they have emptied my hands of the idols of this world and placed in my heart a deeper understanding of eternity, what really matters.
If I have made it through the seasons with such blessing, heart fulfillment, such eternal affirmation--in spite of all of my flaws, then I know you can make it, too!
And so, when I had to write about myself--my life story, what God has, by His grace through my life, I was assured again, that I have a message to give--because if I was so flawed, weary, insecure at points, and made so many mistakes and still I see His legacy through my life--then I want to tell everyone I know--engage in His ways, endure and determine to be steadfast, love generously, don't be so hard on yourself, but live for sacred values---all because He wants to love and bless you and your precious family and friends.
And so this is why I wrote my biographical information so you would know the journey of life God has walked me through, the seasons I have lived, the ways I have been led to reach out--and how amazingly He has blessed because He is so good.
So this is what I wrote in summarizing God's abundant life through be all because He is sooo good and so faithful. If he has so led and blessed me, I know He will do the same for you! What is holding you back? Are you willing to take the risk to Own Your Life story--for Him?
HERE IS MY STORY? WHAT IS YOURS?
Home is the place where the whispers of God’s love are heard regularly, the touch of His hands is given intentionally throughout the day, the words of His encouragement and affirmation pointed to lay the foundation of loving relationships where the mother conducts the beauty of this life within its walls. I hope you will find inspiration to cultivate such a life within the pages of this blog. I welcome you here!
Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in a Christian home, personally accepted Christ in college, went into campus ministry and overseas missions after graduation, and returned in 1980 to minister to executive women and singles in Denver, where Clay (whom I had known since 1974) was in seminary.
We began our journey of life together the next year in August 1981 (I had just turned 28). Three-some decades later, I am the joyful mother of four wholehearted children who love God: Sarah (1984), Joel (1986), Nathan (1989), and Joy (1995). I am a dreamer who always gets bogged down with the details of life. We've moved seventeen times (six internationally), but I try to imagine that somehow it has expanded my soul! I greatly enjoy creating tasty meals, baking whole grain goodies, having proper tea times, and bringing festivity into my home through seasonal decor, music, art, and candles. I love to spend time with my best friends, among whom my children and husband top the list. I am probably ADHD and now no longer wonder where my son got it. I sing and have recorded with Clay who is a singer-songwriter and guitarist. I love to walk and hike in the beauty of the outdoors, and especially in the mountains (we live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains). I always find myself drawn into reading, writing, speaking, and teaching. I am passionate about biblical ideals, and am driven to think, learn, envision, and conceive.
I also love to engage with and influence others, fellowship with kindred spirits, and study the Word together. I appreciate loving friends, kindness, courage, and thoughtfulness. My wonderful children have become my soul-mates and dearest friends. I never feel a bit guilty for enjoying my caffeine--strong black tea and European coffee--and dark chocolate. I love Jesus and am amazed at his integrity. He is the center of my heart and the passion of my life. I started SallyClarkson.com as my personal blog because I wanted a place to share my thoughts and convictions, and to connect with and encourage other Christian women like myself.
But most of all, I would hope my story would tell others, through my blog and in my life, that
GOD IS FAITHFUL. That's about it for me. What about you?
PRE-ORDER HERE TODAY!
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Because we are talking about telling life stories, I would like to giveaway 2 of my favorite books that are inspiring stories--God Smuggler and The Hiding Place! these stories inspired my children and captured their hearts with a deep desire to live boldly for God.
Also, remember--if you pre-order my book now, you will receive free gifts!
Pre-order your copy of Own Your Life and receive a free copy of 7 Daily Inspirations to Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson!
Get a week of inspirations, scripture, and prayers to find days that bring out the best version of you with Sally Clarkson’s 7 Daily Inspirations to Own Your Life.
To Redeem: Simply email your digital receipt from an online purchase or take a picture of your printed receipt and email to: momentum@tyndale.com with “Own Your Life” as the subject line. We will send you a link to download your gift. Thank you for your early purchase!
Pre-Order FIVE or More Books!
If you pre-order five or more copies, you’ll receive the gift above, PLUS a six-minute introductory video by Sally and five beautiful, shareable, printable posters with inspirations to Own Your Life.
To Redeem: Follow the instructions above, but use “Own Your Life 5” as the subject line, and we’ll send a link to download all of your free gifts.
Pre-Order TEN or More Books!
If you pre-order ten or more copies, you’ll receive all of the above gifts PLUS a special greeting for your small group by Sally and a digital download of Whole Heart Ministries new book: Taking Motherhood to Hearts – How to Start, Lead and Tend Your Mom Heart Group (a 30,000 word book!). PLUS one lucky winner will get a telephone call from Sally for a one-hour mentoring session! The winner will be chosen after January 5th.
To Redeem: Follow the instructions above, but use “Own Your Life 10” as the subject line, and we’ll send a link to download your free gifts. Pre-order your copy of Own Your Life and receive a free copy of 7 Daily Inspirations to Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson! Get a week of inspirations, scripture, and prayers to find days that bring out the best version of you with Sally Clarkson’s 7 Daily Inspirations to Own Your Life.
Thanks for sharing my book with your friends!
I am so thankful for your blog and your books have been such a blessing in my life. I consider you my mentor though you do not know me personally. I’m sure this is the wrong “forum” to ask a question, and if you do not respond I understand. But I dare to ask anyway.
What do you do when your life doesn’t come close to how you believe it should look? I read your words and I’m thankful for the vision you cast. But for some time the vision I have for my home seems so far from my reality and I have no idea how to reconcile the two, even in my mind. Discouragement and frustration have started to seep in.
As a mama of three little boys, a homeschool mother, and a pastor’s wife, I don’t believe there is enough of me to go around and I’m starting to feel like I can’t even cover the basics, much less enjoy the riches of this season. I’m sure this is just part of the journey and a part of life that every wife and mother must face, but I don’t want to end up taking the wrong path because I gave up hope for the best.
I feel guilty for more and more things – what I cook (or don’t cook), allowing my children too much watch TV or play the Wii too long, not teaching them well or enough or the right things, not keeping up with just the daily things that make a house run, letting down those that I love most. Is there a way to hit the reset button and just start over once you’ve allowed habits to form in yourself and your children that you don’t like? I believe God’s grace is enough. And I value wisdom from those I know have walked this path and stayed on course."
From A heartfelt comment I received yesterday.How great her attitude to seek wise counsel. I would find wise women and then copy them!
Countless times, I felt like I was not accomplishing anything productive. This is such a hard job, to love, educate and help shape our children's faith. It is especially challenging in a culture that offers so much differing advice that brings voices into our heads, which then that produces guilt and inadequacy. This same culture is isolationist and provides few support systems or Biblical direction.
So many moms feel this way, but feelings do not necessarily determine reality!
Five principles have helped me when I am overwhelmed.
1. Remember. God is with you to help you succeed.
"If God is for you, who can be against you." God is for you--for you. He wants you to succeed. He wants to work in your home. We are not adequate to complete the task of shaping our children's hearts, minds and souls by ourselves. When God's Spirit is working in our midst, He will take our fish and loaves, all that we have to give to Him, within our own limitations and together with Him, our labor becomes enough. I lived into this principle, asked God to make up for my shortcomings every day, and by faith lived as though what He promised was true. He is for you, mamas, if your heart is to serve Him. He has compassion on you, knows your weariness, and is your champion.
2. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1 There are always do-overs in God's economy. All of us mess up, (He is mindful that we are but dust! Psalm 103) Peter blew it royally when he denied Christ at his hour of need, but before he even sinned, Jesus knew what was going to happen, and told Peter he had prayed for him. Jesus had compassion before Peter had even committed the act of denying Christ.
I wonder why we have the illusion that we are supposed to be perfect. Mamas, don't be so hard on yourself and live within your limitations. You will not ever be perfect or do it totally right--not now, not next week, not even when you are 60! (Maybe when I am 70, I will be perfect1) And to live in guilt because you have blown it or yelled at your kids or made mistakes is a big drainer. Depression is often the result of disappointed expectations. And often we disappoint our ideals.
But this is the fallen world, and we will never be able to control ourselves, our circumstances, our children or the world the live in. We live in grace and move toward maturity little by little. And so do your children. I promise, little by little they will grow up.
And your children will never be perfect, either. Love them as they are. Believe in them, touch them. Let little boys be boys, as you train them little by little to be heroes and leaders--civilization comes from a mama who treats them with respect, and gives them a heart to be dignified.
Let little ones be innocent and enter into their stages of life with joy.
Living in the grace and knowledge that God forgives, knows our limitations, is not surprised or disappointed, but wanting to give us hope is so very crucial. Don't listen to the accusers voice. Of course you have fallen short--you are a mom and you are human.
3. "He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, "Arise, eat." I Kings 19:5
Elijah was so very weary from spiritual battle that he despaired of his life--wished he hadn't been born. But God knew he was extremely exhausted, battle worn, weary. So the first thing God did when Elijah poured out his heart to Him was to put him to sleep. He slept a long time--took time to physically rest. Next, and I love this, an angel touched him--physical touch, a hug, an embrace, a hand massage, a real massage, is a personal healer. I love it that God's angel touched him and brought him comfort. Then, he still didn't give him a lecture--instead, the angel fed him.
Sometimes mamas have been going for so long without a break, they start breaking down. A wise woman will learn her limitations and learn to say "no" so that she does not live in a constant state of exhaustion. And don't feel guilty for saying no. You can only hold so many ideals at once, so be sure to hold on the ones that matter. And do what you are best at doing--don't compare your life to someone else. And you may have to say no to some ministry at church for a season. Be reasonable--Jesus would never ask you to do everything--that is something you are putting on yourself--I know! I was in ministry and want to be available to everyone--but I just can't meet all needs and have peace in my home. You might just need to start out your new beginning with sleep, a touch of gentle love and eating well--perhaps exercising--and then take time to ponder and plan..
We are not just minds and hearts--we are bodies with limitations. If we over-exert, we will crash and burn. When others are taking from us 24/7, we must wisely learn that taking care of ourselves is essential to our emotional and spiritual and physical well being. This season, if you are tired, be sure to take a break--get some rest, seek some physical comfort and restoration, eat well. You deserve to be cared for--even if you have to plan for it yourself. I know I kept waiting for someone to give me permission--didn't happen. Finally, I took responsibility for my own happiness so that I could be happier and stronger for my kids on this long term journey.
I make beauty to remind me that I am worth something-I light candles, get some flowers at Sam's or Costco's--the kind that last 2 weeks, and I play music all the time.
4. "He who walks with the wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs
You might need some inspiration, some help, some counsel, some perspective. Find someone older, more experienced, wiser to meet with and ask them to help you come up with a plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done. But I have found that when I give up my pride and take the courage to pour out my heart to wise people or more mature people, I usually find compassion and often find help. This is not always true--be discerning about who you entrust yourself to as there is a lot of foolish advice around.
My mentors for many years, were books. I was always finding books that were written by women or men older and more insightful in life. People will die for lack of instruction. I would seek to read, educate myself, find wisdom, find models of wisdom, integrity and I was a learner. I determined to learn and to get better every year.
This means being teachable and changing when we need to. We were also built for community. That is why every book I have written, I have designed to be able to be used in a small group, because godly friends are essential to my long term growth. Find wise people, books, conferences, a church, the word of God and gain wisdom. Just decide to get better every day, every year--grow, progress--don't expect instant maturity on your part or your children's.
5."But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits." God's wisdom and leading lead us to peace, mercy and good fruit. Each of us must evaluate--what is stealing my peace? What is sucking my energy? How can I change it? This is a long distance run, not a spring--wisdom from above will teach you to pace yourself--and not to say yes just to please others. You are quite free to be yourself, live your own story, live within your own limitations.
What notions are misleading you? Boys are given testosterone from God for a reason--they are supposed to grow up and be strong! Work with them, accept their noise, invest in their hearts, don't try to control them--lead and inspire and train them little by little. (The 24 Family ways is a great tool for beginning to lay foundations for all the family together.)
What is not producing good fruit--your schedule? Your lack of rhythms and consistency with your children? Your lack of training with your children? Then put your finger on what is bothering you and make a practical step forward. How are you going to eliminate the stressors you have control over? How can you eliminate some of the drainers? What is one way you will become stronger and more disciplined in the next month. Be very honest about what you must cut or quit doing or is your flaw and be vigilant about pursuing the wisdom that provides peace and good fruit.
Do first things, first. I always did devotions with the kids, first, every day. And then I read to them next. Because worshipping God has stayed with them as the oxygen we breathed every day and reading has taught all of them to think. So if I didn't get anything else done--thy would worship God and engage in ideas--this has made all of them intellectually strong.
Say no! Limit yourself. Don't accept responsibilities out of guilt. Don't join activities because of voices. And also, write down what fills you, inspires your heart, gives you a break, helps to keep you going a little bit longer--that is wisdom--creating a life that is more pleasant for yourself, more doable. Don't copy someone else's life, and don't compare your children to others. Be yourselves and live your own happy story. God wants you to breathe and have freedom.
Well, I could go on for another 5. But, these are just a few of the things I have learned to do when I find myself walking a dark, discouraging path. Remember, there is always hope when you live in the love of God. This task of raising healthy, godly kids is not beyond reach. You just need to own your commitments, your wisdom, your choices and practice growing stronger. It doesn't happen all at once. And remember,
"The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn which shines brighter and brighter until the fulll day." Proverbs--every day, a little more light, a little more progress, and eventually, full brightness.
I am praying for all of you--but even more, God is praying for you and loves you. Don't give into discouragement or inadequate feelings. With God all things are possible. He is so glad you are trying and that you care. You are precious to Him and He is training your character to grow strong as you are training your children.
Off to bed, but I know you are going to be ok, because He will work in your life if you leave your burdens in His hands and He who began a good work will complete it--in His time, little by little, but fully complete it. God's peace to you today!