Mothering in the Winter Season

As I have reflected on the winter seasons of my life as a mother, I can see that, though they could be very trying times, they also have been times when I learned the deepest lessons of faith and grew closer to God. Let me share with you some of the fruit of my own winter reflections.

First, I have learned that my life is not the center of the universe. It has taken me years to see just how self-centered and selfish I can be, and just how much growing up I needed to do. Jesus said that in this world we would experience tribulation, so struggle is a normal part of life. He certainly knew tribulation, as did Peter, Paul, David, Moses, Esther, and all who have lived for the purposes of God. My struggles are not exceptions requiring special attention; they are simply the norm.

Second, I have learned that motherhood— the raising of godly children— invites intense spiritual warfare. Living as a Christian is not just about believing in Jesus, enjoying God's blessings, then going to heaven. That kind of mediocrity of soul is never an option for a mature believer. God says the Christian life is spiritual warfare, a battle, and we all will have to fight. No exceptions. Paul said, "do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you" (1 Peter 4:12, NASB). That's just life.

Third, I have learned that God is transcendent, with infinite purposes beyond my finite comprehension. He has been faithful to each generation of his people, compassionate and merciful even when we cannot see or understand his purposes. That truth forces a choice in my heart: Either I bow my knee to God's will, trusting his grace to sustain me through every struggle because I know he is sovereign and in control; or I give in to my bitterness, allowing grief and despair to defeat me. It is a choice I have to make over and over again.

Fourth, I have learned that God wants to shape me, his child, into the likeness of Christ. Scripture teaches that "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness" (Hebrews 12:10). His hand of discipline has loosed my grip on things I hold too tightly—possessions, people, dreams, pride, expectations—things I have placed my hope in instead of in him. In their place, he has given me the wonderful freedom of knowing I am loved and accepted by him, no matter how I may sin or fail him.

Fifth, I have learned that God uses my trials to make me better able to minister to other women. I have learned compassion for others who struggle, because I have grappled with my own issues. I have wrestled with children, marriage, finances, health, and so many other issues, so I can more easily identify with others in similar situations, and offer them the compassion and hope that I have found in God's faithfulness and goodness.

Finally, I have learned that God uses hard times to make me stronger and more faithful. I have a much larger capacity now, than I ever had as a young woman, to handle challenges and responsibilities. A young mom might be overwhelmed with the constant work and stress of having a new baby, but a mom who has raised many children has learned to take her responsibilities in stride. It may take some time, but I really can "consider it pure joy" when I "face trials of many kinds," because I know the "testing of [my] faith develops perseverance" (James 1:1-3).

I hope my reflections are an encouragement to your own heart today.  Do one or more of these areas seem to be one in which you might need to embrace the cup the Lord has poured for you?

You can read more of my reflections on motherhood in Seasons of a Mother's Heart, available here!

Giving Hope to your Child this Christmas

Hope Breathes Life

Lighting 5 candles, turning the lights low, switching the gas logs on high and bringing a tray of mugs overflowing with hot chocolate and whip cream all came together in about 5 minutes. The last touch was the familiar Celtic Christmas album that hummed gently through the room to bring the familiar comfort of a well-loved cd.

My young daughter had just experienced a devastating tragedy that had made her innocent heart fearful—a fatal shooting at our church during the Christmas season a few years ago had wrought terror in our hearts.

Snuggling up together under soft throws on the couch, she poured out her fears, worries, and questions for a half hour. I searched the files of my heart to find comfort to help her feel understood and comfort of the hope she had in her heavenly Father that would never be shaken.

“Mama, when I come to you afraid, I know I will always leave hopeful. I love you, Mama. I am so glad I am not alone.”

How surprised I was to hear this, as I have often felt that I was a struggler through the many challenges that threatened to overcome us in our lives.

Many years ago, I realized that children long to have a happy mother. Our children are growing up in a time when media spreads the gloom and doom of catastrophes, fears and threats. When the mama spreads light and thankfulness--and hope in the darkness, then children feel secure and safe.

But when a mama lives darkly, the children harbor fear, insecurity and blame themselves for parent's being angry or sad.

Hope is not natural--it is supernatural.

Hope comes welling up from deep inside because of a belief that God is good. That He will win in the end. That there is always hope when God is present.

Women who choose hope and who choose to trust God are those who, instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle. But it is a choice of the will.

Hope is not a feeling, it is a commitment to hold fast to what scripture reminds us is true about God.

Knowing scripture, pondering and taking it into your soul, is what gives each of us food, fuel, to live the Christian life, as we listen to the Holy Spirit guide us through the wisdom we have learned. The only way to live well is to live in fellowship with God. Nothing else will satisfy.

We live in an imperfect world filled with disappointments, devastation, and difficulty.

Without hope, our lives can feel absolutely purposeless sometimes.

Today I am writing at Thebettermom.com

Go there for the rest of the story! and don't forget to listen to yesterday's podcast!

Laying Foundations of Faith for Dark Times

Charles Baugniet

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

Big blue eyes filling up with tears and a hoarse whisper made me pay attention.

"Mama, Can I speak with you alone?"

Busy with rocking Joy as she was dozing off to sleep and waiting to put my two loud boys to bed with a kiss and prayer, I was surprised to see the serious concern on Sarah's face.

Finally, I had a quiet moment  to speak with her much too late in the night.

"Mama, I don't know if I believe in God any more. I am trying believe because of everything you have taught me, but I have so many doubts, fears, questions and I wonder if God ever listens to my prayers.

Almost 13, I knew that as a budding young adult, the darkness of the world and several very difficult personal issues had confronted my sweet, here-to-fore innocent daughter.

She was the first of our four to voice the doubts that haunted her in the darkness of her bedroom. Eventually, the doubts came individually to each of our children. There is a process of discipleship that had to take place in the midst to help them keep going.  As I look back over the years, by standing with them through challenging times, telling them that God was big enough to handle their doubts, loving them when they were easy to love and when they were thorny, God graciously allowed us to help our children keep walking, keep choosing to believe, though all have walked through seasons of darkness. Believing forward in their lives, speaking into their great worth to God, giving them a sense that each choice of faith matters was the mantra of our voices in their lives.

At least for the moment we see them making choices to follow. And so Clay and I continue to pursue them as faithfully as we are able.

God had his prodigals and He was a perfect Father. Yet, a picture of God throughout all of scripture is a faithful, constant Father, lovingly pursuing His children, seeking them, dying for them, teaching them, calling out to them to follow Him, love Him and wait for His coming at the end of the age..

How important it is for us to remember and understand that Satan was casting shadow on God's character and casting doubts about God's trustworthiness from the beginning of the creation of man. It is not because you are a bad or inadequate parent that your children doubt God and Christianity, but instead it is a profound part of our battle.

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." I Pet. 5:8

With the world falling apart at the seams, we need to give our children, (and ourselves), strong foundations of faith. Cultivating understanding, belief and trust in God are the most important priority of our lives to be faithful to build. All of the other accomplishments in life are second to passing on faith. The wonderful news is that we have an advocate, the Holy Spirit, God Himself, who cares even more that our children can grow and come to belief. You are not alone.

"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ." Romans 10:17

All of our lives, if we are believers, our goal is to relate to God, His purposes, His plans, His personal love and involvement and love for us, and His faithfulness to us,  no matter what assails us in our lives. It is our glory to walk with Him every day until we see Him face to face.

So often, I see younger women fretting about educational issues and worldly accomplishments in the lives of their children. Focusing on the temporal and being distracted by daily duties can take our eyes off the fact that the battleground for life is for hearts and souls coming to God and holding fast to him. It is the issues of faith that need our fervent attention.  The world that my own adult children have entered is a world filled daily with temptations and discouragement and challenges. I see so much how tending to their hearts and souls while they were children in my home has given them strength and fortitude to face the obstacles in their lives that come every day.

When they are confronted by such serious issues, they need to have the voice of truth speaking to them from all that they have stored up in the recesses of their hearts and minds.

The most profound gift parents can give to their children is a true, heart-felt, foundational wisdom of faith that will carry them through all the seasons of their lives.

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

As I reflect on the ways we built such a faith into the lives of our children, so that, by God's grace, up to this point, they have held fast to their love and faith in God, was based on 3 aspects of faith.

1. All children and adults need to have a basic knowledge of the corpus of faith from Genesis to Revelation. I am basically talking about an overview of scripture: The overall story of God as found in His word as well as the stories of those who walked with God to give them a pattern of faith. Reading the Bible and teaching the stories is over a long period of time--at least 18 years--so do not feel you need to tackle the whole Bible in one year. Little by little building your own knowledge as you build your children's knowledge.
2. Modeling the action of faith and teaching the footsteps of faith at each juncture of life is essential for believers to learn what is looks like to live everyday through the pathways of life, trusting God. For instance, when a trial occurs, (illness, financial issues, relational issues, etc.) the way a parent responds to God in faith is how a child will learn to live by faith. If a parent says, "Our God has promised to meet our needs, so lets ask Him to give us wisdom in knowing how to approach this situation." And then if the parent moves forward by trusting God and not complaining or whining then the child learns that trusting God is real in personal moments from watching an older wiser person live in the reality of God's presence amidst life every day.(Part of you cultivating faith is finding people that give you a model of what faith in the midst of trials looks like--or gathering mentors through books as I did.)
3. Finally, there is one last aspect of faith that is necessary for our growth. All of us need to understand that faith is an action that moves us forward in taking risks to see God move supernaturally through our lives to bring His light and kingdom to bear. If a parent tells a child to live by faith by taking his light to the world, then the parent should be one who starts a Bible study by inviting people to their home, or serving at homeless/refugee shelters/teaching a children's class at church, etc. Faith moves a person to act for love of God. In order for us to have the reward of our faith, by seeing Him work, we must step out to trust God by reaching out to a lost world. It is in a ministry life that we sense the presence, wisdom and blessing of God upon our lives and better understand His sacrifice. In giving, we receive--but faith is the energy that takes us to this active, engaging life with God.

Precious ones who are reading this, I want you to know that I understand that your road with motherhood is so often exhausting and tiring. I am spending special time tomorrow praying for you to know the sweet love and peace of our God and to be encouraged in knowing that you are not alone and that what you are doing is of eternal importance.

May you be blessed and blessed with truth and grace today.

I hope you will join Kristen Kill and me today as we share some of our thoughts about how to teach and cultivate faith in a fallen world so that our children will learn to have hope for the times in which they live. 

Share our podcast with your friends! Thanks!

Spiritual Disciplines: Cultivating Practices That Deepen Your Faith

Joy and me on a recent freeing hike in the mountains

My wonderful co-writer and "like" girl

The more we know Him, the more we will desire to know Him. As love increases with knowledge, the more we know God, the more we will truly love Him. We will learn to love Him equally in times of distress or in times of great joy.

BROTHER LAWRENCE

“Well, I don’t know, it’s just, like...” These words had barely slipped out of Joy’s mouth before my eyebrows raised at her and we both started laughing. Ever since she had returned during breaks from her university in Southern California, the word “like” frequently visited itself upon her vocabulary. Joy had never been a “like” girl before, but after a few months in the land of surfboards and juice shops, that word, along with the slow rhythm of the Southern California accent, had begun to work itself into her way of speaking.

“I don’t mean to, Mom! It’s just the way I hear all of the voices around me speaking, and Ican’t help but let it slip in to the way I speak and think.”

I believe that Joy’s “like” predicament exhibits the power of the voices to which we listen.We live in a culture that loves to quote movies, books, and song lyrics. I marvel as I watch my kids hold almost entire conversations in quotes from their favorite characters from television and literature. I have realized that as my children engage in certain forms of media, those forms begin to shape their vocabulary and way of thinking.

The same is true of friend groups. I am amused to see best friends who inadvertently dress and speak like each other, or friend groups who all order similar coffee concoctions. It is a part of human nature that we naturally begin to emulate who or what we spend time with and on, respectively. Proverbs says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the compan- ion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

We are formed by the voices that we allow to speak into our lives.

Walking through many seasons of life, I have had strength to live through each one, only because of God's help and voice in my life. There were times when I was fearful, times when I was confused, or depressed or unsure of what to do in a situation or how to love someone, I learned a habit, a discipline, and  I would go to the word of God and always find the strength, wisdom, and answers I needed to make one more step of faith In Him who is faithful.

I look back and see His hand guiding me and leading me in paths of righteousness. Even as He was committed personally and lovingly to David, so He is ready to lead us through a life that is filled with His presence if we turn our hearts and eyes to Him. This is why spiritual disciplines are important.

Cultivating such practices in your life creates a space in which one can be formed by the voice of God.

In reading Scripture, we allow God’s truth to speak to our heart.

In prayer, we listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit.

In honoring the Sabbath and resting, we train our hearts to rest in the knowledge that God will always provide.

Spiritual disciplines remove distractions from our practice of faith, allowing the voice of God in our spirit to shape our vocabulary and our attitudes.

Women often say to me, “I’m too busy to have a quiet time or pray” or “I have young children and don’t ever seem to have free time” or “I don’t want to be legalistic about it.” When I hear this, I often respond with a question: “What voices are you allowing to shape your view of the world instead of Scripture and the Holy Spirit?”

We are all in the business of listening to voices, and allowing various channels to broadcast over the rest.

I often find that when I don’t think I have time to listen to God, it is because I am busy prioritizing other voices. This is something that happens to the best of us. For some that may be wasting time on social media, putting an overemphasis on perfect housekeeping, or getting caught in an endless cycle of busyness. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong about social media, housekeeping, and a busy schedule. None of those things is necessarily bad, but nothing can replace the voice of God, and the value gained from time in His presence.

The spiritual disciplines are not about legalism, but about developing practices which tune your ear to the truth of Scripture, your will to the practice of faithfulness, and your heart to communion with God. My children are able to bring to mind the quotes of many of their fa- vorite literary characters because of the time they have spent invested in reading. In the same way, as you invest time in Scripture, the Holy Spirit will begin to bring passages to your mind when you encounter difficult situations.

As you read and let the truth of Scripture sink into your heart, it will begin to shape your vocabulary and thoughts about the world. When truth is in your patterns of thinking, it will al- ter the way you respond to situations in your life.

At the heart of any spiritual discipline is relationship with God. Genesis 3:8 says, “They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.”

From the very beginning, God desired that we might share an intimate relationship with Him. His intention was that we would delight in our relationship with Him and reflect his image in us. Though the fall broke that relationship, Christ made a way for us to be once again in com- munion with God. God’s desire to be in relationship with us is the same as it was in Eden. Spiritual disciplines do not take the place of that relationship, but rather, through the Holy Spirit, they give our impatient and sinful souls a way to engage with God. Because God delights in our relationship, He will always bless a heart that seeks to engage with Him.

I hope that Own Your Life--and owning your spiritual disciplines--is helping you to commit to making time with the one who loves you most and wants to be the message of His love to your heart every day.

Here is the study guide you can use in groups or in your own quiet time.

Happy Thanksgiving to You!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your friends and family!

Sensing Pleasures Fills Memores forever with Delight!

Sweet Friends,

My life has been whirling by, every day, and at the end of the day, I say, "What day is this? What did we do today?" and can hardly remember because it has been such a whirlwind. But this week, is such a great week to s l o w down and to stop and make a life-memory in your mind.

This week, I have sat inside and sipped hot drinks all day for our mini-blizzard, listening to Joy saying, "Look at the beautiful sparkles God created. Isn't it gorgeous."

Yesterday, I had 30 women in my home for a baby shower. I love celebrating babies.

But this week, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving all week. It is a great time to plant deep memories in the souls of our children through touching not only their sweet spirits, but by touching all of their senses and giving them memories stored up forever.

This Thanksgiving, you are investing eternal memories into the soul of your children that will feed them the rest of their lives. Thanksgiving is a marvelous, magical time that is filled with fond memories and cherished traditions. Over and over, my children tell me it was the feasts, traditions, rhythms that speak to them of our close ties and community that we all share now! This is a holiday in which all of our senses are involved in the memory-making process on this one very special holiday that we so look forward to in our family. (The photos below are from last year's Thanksgiving week.)

Touch:

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service."

-1 Timothy 1:12

In our home, the bustling of family members getting involved in the hospitality process makes Thanksgiving so much fun.  Remind your children what a great delight to you to have such a great team and what an honor it is to be a part of such a great working team. Tell them the work of beauty of a feast and the life of the day would not be complete and full without their help and personal touches. What a gift to be a part of a family sharing togetherness.   On Thanksgiving, through using our hands to make pies, set tables, decorate, or hold hands during prayer, the things we touch and cultivate as a family turn into life-long memories.

Sight:

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

-1 Thessalonians 5:18

I know that for many of you sweet mamas, burdens and hard work come along with the turkey, pies, and memories. Remember that your hard work is so worth it, because you are creating visions for your children to behold that will shape who they are forever. Take a deep breath, relax, and allow yourself to look around and take it all in, seeing with your own eyes the value and worth of your labors. The beautiful table, the delicious meals, and most importantly, the smiles on the faces of your family should be your visual reminder that it is all worth while.

Taste:

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

It is a beautiful gift that God allows us to taste. Not only is our food nourishment, but it is a way for us to bond over something so wonderful that fills us with joy. I know my family is very thankful for flavors of many kinds that bring so much variety to our taste buds and warmth to our souls. The meals you make this Thanksgiving will not be ordinary-they will be creating the palate of memories that enchant your children's taste buds for a very long time. (Just like the verse in Corinthians says-we shall be thankful and do all things to the glory of God. This includes our feasting!)

Smell:

I love hazelnut candles for this time of year and put them throughout the house. Always the kids say, when they come downstairs in the mornings, "Ohhhhh, what great smells. What are you cooking?" At least I can make a quick cup of coffee for them......

 "And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." -Ephesians 5:2

Is it just me, or does it seem that people tend to gravitate and crowd around the kitchen once the enticing aromas begin spilling from the oven? Nathan, my 26 year old son, was recently telling me about one of his very favorite Thanksgiving memories:

"It's the best thing, waking up on Thanksgiving morning to the smell of your homemade cinnamon rolls. All of us kids lose our patience as we sit and watch the parade in our PJ's, eagerly wondering what second they will be ready to devour!" They say that scent is the strongest link to memory, so do not underestimate the importance of the candles you light and treats you bake.

Hearing:

A photo a couple of years ago on Friday when we were all out picking the Christmas tree. At our home, hearing gaggles of kids and adults talking, laughing, pontificating is such a pleasant sound to my mama heart that always loves having my chitlins home again. The noise of loud fellowship actually sounds great to me during this season of life. Enjoy those little precious voices while you can.We play music all weekend and someone is always singing at the top of their lungs. Little ones whisper in front of the Christmas lights.

Our hunt for a Christmas tree and the decorating of it always happens on this weekend and so we begin with a mug of something hot and then adventure out into the wilds of Christmas tree land.

"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." -Romans 10:17

Your Thanksgiving day will be filled with many sounds, some joyful noises, and some possibly not so pleasant. Be intentional about the sounds of your home's Thanksgiving day. Select calming music, encourage singing, allow plenty of conversation, and be wise about what words are said, as they will remain in the hearts of our loved ones.

One last pic I had to share, as Joy went to a birthday celebration of her sweet friend. It was a Titanic party and so all dressed up in the style of the times. Just had to share. 

Finally, in my quiet time this week, I was struck by the fact that Psalms ends with one thanksgiving poem after another:

The final line of the book says it all:

"Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord."

"Praise the Lord."

Psalm 150: 6

There is so very much to be thankful for as we prepare to embark on another Thanksgiving holiday. I hope that you have a blessed Thanksgiving day with your family, and that all of your senses are delighted.

The Holy Spirit's Strength in Your Life (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 7

Trying to do the Lord's work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, and tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, then the ministry of Jesus just flows out of you.

CORRIE TEN BOOM

It’s a miracle! I thought to myself as I closed the door behind me. Somehow I had managed to slip out of bed without waking Clay, slip on my shoes and a comfy sweater, and get out the door for a Saturday morning coffee--even at 6:15.  As I sat in the cozy corner of the café, coffee in hand, I basked in the delight of a stolen moment alone. I read my morning verses, and jotted down some deep thoughts in my journal. I will be so kind, very loving, and patient today, I thought.

And then my phone rang. “Mom! Where are you? What are we going to do today?” I responded patiently with this child (how could I not be patient in such a lovely moment?) and explained that I’d be home in just a little while to do something fun with the whole clan. Even just thirty minutes alone was rejuvenating for me, but I sighed nonetheless.

But then the phone rang again. “Hey, honey! Who’s going to take Joy downtown for her appointment?” This time it was my husband's voice. I pondered on this. There were no less than four adults in our home who could drive; perhaps one of them could manage? This was my one morning alone. Even so, I continued to talk with Clay as we puzzle-pieced schedules. As I ended the phone call, I breathed deeply. The coffee and quiet started to enchant my soul back into a pleasant attitude.

And then the phone rang. Again. Everyone was hungry and wanted breakfast. With another sigh, I gathered myself, thanked God for the few moments of peace, and resolved to enjoy the day and cherish my beloved ones. This thought was barely a notion in my mind when I walked through the door to discover the dog had thrown up on the new carpet.

I think I need another cup of coffee.

So many times in my life I have encountered the tension between wanting to be Spirit-filled and gracious, and then being overwhelmed by my own attitudes, the unexpected situations of my life, or the many clashing personalities of my family members. Life tends to have a sandpaper effect on my attempts to be holy. These times have led me explore what it means to live in the power of the Spirit.

Throughout Scripture, the Holy Spirit is often described using the analogy of wind, or breath. When explaining the mysteries of the Spirit to Nicodemus, Jesus said:

“The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:8).

The Greek word Jesus uses is pnuema, which can be translated as wind, breath, or spirit. Later, when Jesus is commissioning his disciples, Scripture manifests the metaphor into an actual happenstance: “And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’” (John 20:22).

Again and again the Holy Spirit is described as breath which brings life, and wind which provides direction.

Breath is a daily necessity. We cannot live without breathing, and it is a constant need moment to moment. The same sort of dependence we have on breathing is how we ought to depend on the Holy Spirit. Living in the power of the Holy Spirit means letting the Spirit of God be the breath that allows me to make it through every day. Relying on the assistance of the Holy Spirit should become as natural to me as breathing in and out.

To live only within the mundane constrictions of daily life is not to be alive at all. 

Christian means, "Christ in one." When we live in Him, we are "in Christ Jesus." When I learned this secret--owning the Holy Spirit's strength in my life--I was transformed.

Christians cannot flourish apart from making God's Spirit the source of their spiritual lives. 

Even the phrase "spiritual life" refers to the Spirit-living-through-us life. I am not speaking of some kind of unique charismatic experience (though throughout history, people have experienced God's filling in different ways), but of a power that we can never muster up on our own. It might be described as:

*an inner strength *a voice that calls us to become more excellent *an energy that moves us to love and forgive supernaturally *a fruitfulness that can only be explained by God

When the Holy Spirit directs our course, the natural consequence is a life outside of normal striving or fleshly effort. We are able to live beyond our own capacity.

To tap into the power of Scripture, choose five verses of Scripture that encourage you and memorize them through the next month. Start with this verse: "Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). 

Chapter 7 in Own Your Life helps us understand the Holy Spirit's role in our lives and how we can have even more of Him.

God is Over Our Children's Lives (Joel's story part two!)

I'm so glad Joel's story didn't end where I finished yesterday!  Here's the rest of the story, and what I learned in it ...

His six-month-old body was stretched out with his arms perpendicular to his sides and his pale, chubby legs extended into a wide V. His eyelids were swollen and red, circled by rings of darkness. Sweat had pasted his straight blond hair to his forehead. His small chest heaved with every breath.

As I watched him, passionate love poured through my fatigued heart. I longed to hold him and rock him and sing to him. I realized how precious this little treasure of a boy was to me. How l wished I could comfort him with life-giving words of hope, strength, and encouragement. How I wanted to pour life into his struggling body.

I wanted so much to have the chance to shepherd him through his life. I had books to read to him and birthdays to celebrate. He had milestones ahead, like walking, riding a bike, learning to swim, learning to read, and running after a ball—moments of life to share together. If only he could know how cherished, how beloved he was.

And yet, he lay there completely ignorant of all the love and affection and goodwill that was flowing from my mother's heart toward him. My heart broke into a weak but desperate plea to God for his life, for mercy for my sweet son, for healing from his grave illness. "Lord," I prayed in tears as I watched my baby, "let me know that You are here and that I am not alone. Please help me:'

In the first moments after I whispered that prayer and waited, the room seemed a dark abyss, utterly devoid of grace. I found I could barely swallow for the fear that had gripped my heart. But I waited, waited in the darkness, yearning for comfort. Gradually, slowly, the darkness of the room began to fade in my mind as I sensed just barely, that somehow, even in this despair, I was not alone.

Somehow, I knew in my heart that the Lord was truly with me and caring for my fragile heart. As I waited, as I yearned for His comfort, I began to be aware of answers filling my heart, of comfort coming into my soul in response to my cries. My mind was flooded with thoughts of the Lord, and I suddenly found myself in the midst of a picture of His love.

As I watched Joel, it was as if the Lord was saying that He felt the same way about me that I felt about my baby boy:

I love you as you love your son.  I created My children to know My love.  I wanted to be their companion, their loving Father shepherding them through the seasons of their lives. In the same way your heart reaches out to your precious son , so My heart longs to reach out to each of My children.

I love you.  I am with you.   I will never leave you.

Just open your eyes and turn to Me.  My love for you is fervent and focused.  Sin has created a separation, but l am still here, I will always be here, always reaching out to you in love.  Even as you actively love Joel, though he is unconscious and unaware because of his grave illness, so I have loved My children, though their grave illness of sin and rebellion has created a temporary sense of separation from Me.  Don't worry; trust Me.  I will take care of Joel.  I will take care of you.

That inconspicuous old room, reeking of antiseptic and medicine, whirring with the sounds of the oxygen machine and beeping monitor, became for me a holy place of truly sacred ground. Here, in this unlikely setting, I found my heart filled with worship and thanksgiving. The Lord had engineered, through the seemingly disjointed circumstances of my life, a private meeting with me so that I could understand His love more deeply. In the void of all the people upon whom I usually depended, in the midst of the chaos of the move, I was ushered into the presence of the one and only person who could help me and who loved me. I was brought face-to-face with the reality of God's love for me and God's love for my child. As my heart was filled with worship, I realized that God loved Joel more than any other person could. Joel was also God's child.

As the night passed I had plenty of time to ponder, and I began to realize that ultimately my children belong first and foremost to God. I am their mother by His design, but He is over all of their lives. I will never really be able to control the outcome or circum- stances of their lives no matter how hard I try.

God had designed Joel in my womb. He already knew the extent of Joel's days "when as yet there was not one of them" (Psalm 139:16). Joel's destiny is firmly in the hands of the God who loves Him, as is mine. The realization came to me that walking with God through motherhood meant understanding that I,too, am still simply God's child. All of the issues of my life—relationships, circumstances, victories, and tragedies, even motherhood—were only meaningful as they related to God and His purposes in my life.

He brought me into that little hospital room to be with Him, to know His love, to reflect more on eternity, to see things from His eyes. I thought it was all about my child and my need to provide for him, but really it was about God overwhelming both of us with His care and love. I realized that I was to walk before God in motherhood as I walked in the other areas of my life—with Him as the center of my life, with Him as my strength, with Him as my guide—but like the rest of my life, it was to be a walk of faith, not sight.  (from The Mom Walk, available here!)

Do you ever forget that God is in control of your children's lives?  That He has a plan for them? Does it help to be reminded that God loves you just as you love your own sweet ones, and that He will always walk with you?  I hope you are encouraged today!

When the Night is Dark, Are We Alone?

Many years ago, we left our beloved Vienna to return to the United States.  Clay kindly stayed behind to manage all that had to be done with the movers, which meant I was alone wrangling little Sarah, 2 1/2 as well as baby Joel, 6 months, along with all the accoutrements common to traveling with children--big diaper bags, a stroller, and toys I hoped would help occupy and soothe them throughout the long international flight--through the airports.  By the time we finally arrived at my mother-in-law's, 28 hours since we had started, I was not only exhausted, but extremely worried about Joel, and with good reason...

Sarah had trooped through the journey fairly well but nearly fell asleep standing up as I pulled her nightgown over her head. Joel, however, had refused to nurse for about the last ten hours and almost seemed to be falling into a stupor. As I changed his diaper and readied him for bed, I saw his little chest heaving with each breath he took. His body was exceedingly warm.

When I held him close to me as I rocked him, I could hear a deep wheeze. Dread began to wrap around my heart like a dark blanket squeezing out all light. Something was wrong with my little boy.

What was I to do? Nana lived deep in the Texas countryside, just outside a tiny town of barely 700 people. The nearest clinic or doctor was in a town 15 miles down dark country roads, but it was tiny and I had no knowledge of the doctors. Hoping that he just had a cold, I cuddled Joel and held him in my arms over the next hour, praying and crying out to God for wisdom. But his little body became more lethargic and limp, his fever climbing higher even with medication, and soon he was gasping for breath.

I needed to act. Nana was asleep by this time and I knew she would have to stay with Sarah. How would Sarah feel waking up in a strange place without me, to a sweet stranger she barely remembered? I made a quick decision to take Joel to the emergency room in the next town. Wakening Nana, I told her what I needed to do and bundled myself and my baby into the car as quickly as I could. I drove the dark miles in a haze of exhaustion and prayer with Joel gasping for breath at my side.

The doctor who sleepily ushered me into the emergency room did not inspire confidence, but I was helpless and didn't know what else to do. After examining Joel, he looked at me with serious eyes and said, "If you hadn't brought this little boy in, he wouldn't have made it through the night. As it is,it is going to be touch and go. He is getting very little oxygen into his lungs and seems to have some kind of a virus, but it also seems that his body is particularly shut down. Has he received any unusual medication in the past 24 hours?" Concern was written all over his face.

I showed him the bottle the pediatrician had given to me. When he looked up the equivalent in his medical book, he glanced at me with alarm. "This:' he said decisively, "is not a medication we would ever use for children in America. As a matter of fact, I think it has shut down some of Joel's system. It was far too strong a dose for such a young child. Combined with the viral respiratory complication, it could prove quite dangerous."

I felt sick inside and a sense of panic and fear swept over me. I had tried so hard to do all the right things. I was so committed to providing the best for my children. I had given my life to them. I had thought I was helping Joel by helping him rest on the long journey. I was following orders of my doctor. What had I done?

The doctor and nurse on call placed Joel on a tall table that had a very flat mattress. He was stripped down to only a diaper. He hardly moaned as they slipped an IV loaded with strong antibiotics into his frail body. The nurse gently attached a patch connected to a tube on his chest, which she told me was a heart monitor. They fitted what seemed to be a small, hard plastic, clear box over Joel that discharged oxygen.

"I'm sorry, but the few rooms we have are full," the nurse said in a matter-of-fact way when she had finished. She looked as though she was tired of emergencies and needed a rest herself. "You can stay with your son tonight, but all we have for you is a chair. It would be best if you could watch him to be sure there are no changes. We don't have any other staff here, and we have to attend to the other patients. Just push the button if you need us."

I wedged myself stiffly into the metal, orange vinyl-clad chair. Picking up a flimsy hospital blanket, I wrapped it snugly around myself. In the warm June Texas night, I was not cold, but I needed something around my shoulders to protect me from the impending feeling of doom I was trying so desperately to resist.

Tears began to flow as much from sheer overload and exhaustion as from sadness. I felt overwhelmingly isolated and alone. Clay was in Austria. My mother didn't even know I was back in America. Nana was asleep with Sarah in another town. I didn't even know a friend I could call. I was sitting by myself in a dark room just barely illumined by the lights on the machines, the only sound the hissing of the oxygen into the plastic tent as Joel struggled to stay alive... (from The Mom Walk)

I'm so grateful this story has a happy ending--which I will share with you tomorrow!  That night so long ago, though, I didn't know what the morning would bring. Perhaps you find yourself in a similar situation today, not knowing how the story of your life will end.  How might you reach out to God in this time?  Are you trusting Him even when you can't see? 

Cultivating Imagination: Creating Artists in your Home--a podcast

Jet lag and a house full of company has enclosed the borders of my life this weekend and my brain is quite empty tonight as I prepare a blog post for Monday. I have just returned from an international trip and hit the ground running with a very full Saturday and Sunday. My life did not allow for a podcast with Kristen this past couple of weeks.

Seems so many are enjoying our podcasts and we are happy to share. Thanks for your comments. They keep us going!

But instead, I wanted to share a talk that Clay and I recently gave at a gathering called, Hutchmoot for visual, performing, word artists in Nashville. Many of you know that our 4 children have all ended up with careers in the arts in some way. Sarah has written 4 books, Joel is a composer with several albums of original music and has composed film scores as well as orchestrated for many artists, Nathan is an actor and has produced his first movie, (on Netflix: Confessions of a Prodigal Son), and Joy who has ghost written a book, and performed in Theatre, speaks and does speech coaching and has recorded original music and produced an album with Joel.

Our children developed their own vision for their unique areas of work from growing up in an environment where inspiration, creativity, gifts and their unique personality had freedom to develop uniquely. Being entrepreneurs and starting ministries, conferences, writing books, film scripts, composing, designing websites, creating arts movements with acoustic musicians and authors, stain glass, cooking, baking, pencil drawings, calligraphy, mastering a number of musical instruments are all a part of our family culture.

Our friends at Hutchmoot asked us to explain how we created such an environment and someone happened to tape our talk to the "Creative artist parents" at the conference. This is the talk Clay and I gave several weeks ago. Hope you enjoy the podcast today.

How do you cultivate artistry in your home?