When Storms Come, Walk in The Steps Of One Who Has Gone Before & Podcast

Blowing Through the Streets of Oxford

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Peter reminded us: I Peter 2: 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

He who walks with the wise is wise,

A companion of fools suffers harm. 

Proverbs 15:20

Do you ever feel blown about by the storms of life? At this point in the virus, many of us including me, are feeling restless and wondering what is ahead. Yet, storms and winds of life that were unexpected and throw me off my expectations are familiar to me after walking the path for almost 67 years. We read the the disciples were thrown off by storms. So if we feel frustrated, restless, fearful of what is ahead, we share with many throughout the storms of life over many years. It is normal to have feelings, it is supernatural, a product of walking in the Spirit, to walk forward with faith, resolve and peace.

Our children will learn just how to walk through the winds that come their way by walking with us as we move through our own storms. Our walking, with them beside us, leaves them a pattern of how to trust when they become adults. And Jesus did is for us as well, we are told that He left us an example that we should walk in His footsteps.

"By walking in integrity at home, my children received from my life, training for battles that were ahead of them. By walking through the obstacles and curves of our lives, trusting God, living by faith, choosing to endure, our children became familiar with what it looked like to walk with God in the midst of their own challenges." -Sally Clarkson, The Mom Walk

When your children walk with you, are they walking with a wise person?  Can they look at your seasoned responses, your insightful understanding of people, your fortitude in difficult times as they walk the moments of your daily life? Children watch us, listen to us when we are talking to others, hear us behind closed doors as we talk to our husband, see us in public. Our lives are the walk that our children will imitate.

We are in a generation and culture that has turned our children's training grounds into a battlefield. With relative morality, confusing voices, compromise of ideals, secular media values and opposing opinions, where will our children find clarity and strong, secure values to embrace?

As mothers, we must be ready and equipped with steady feet and strong souls to lead the way for our kids with integrity. We will give them confidence as we walk, staying close to them, holding their hand, and showing them sure footsteps to follow.

"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart." -Psalm 15:1-2

No matter how old your children become, you are the example for them. They will always be looking at you to see integrity, ideals, and how you interact with God. And the longer you provide your children with wisdom based on truth, the more they will quickly consider your advice as they walk their own adult journey.Still, on a daily basis, I am walking with my adult children. They learned to trust their "path guide" on the trail of life we walked together, day by day.

We must lead the way and set a solid foundation for the paths our children will follow. Teaching our children to walk truly never ends.

Are you walking in wisdom today? Is your life one you want your children to follow? Is your pathway in your life with God getting brighter and brighter? May God lead us on His path with integrity in each step.

What are some of the ways you make each day a focussed moment of a loving relationship as you walk the days with your children?

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day

Proverbs 4: 18

Peter reminded us: I Peter 2: 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

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Books Referenced in this Podcast:

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• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

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Parenting By Grace from Toddlers to Teens With Misty & a Podcast

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Oh, I can’t believe it! I am turning into a real predictable grandmother. I just think Lily is the cutest in the world with her little pink hat and coat adorned with the darling bow. It is so much easier for me to relax at this stage. I have been through the babyhood, childhood, teenage years, college years and young adult and now I can breathe. Yet, the journey was one filled with mystery and questions. Because so many have asked me to speak to toddlerhood and teenagers, I decided to do a short podcast on both today. And the foundational secret for both categories is giving a foundation of unconditional love.

Which of us has ever been loved too much? Same for your precious ones. We are all fraught with vulnerability, the possibility of failing in a million ways, with fear, exuberance, personality and so many things that make us unique. And so, in the context of life, we all long for love and acceptance and grace—and in my experience, grace wins the day! (And the hearts of our children, husband, friends, neighbors, bosses, all of our encounters!)

Today, I have on my heart to share a bit about how to treat our children from toddlers to teens with the grace with which Christ treats me. (And there is more on teenagers in the podcast than here as I ran out of time.)

My goal throughout my time a parenting has been to have my children learn to obey me and to honor me quickly, from a heart that had been trained and nurtured to respond. I hoped they would want to please me as a parent as well as wanting to please God. because of our relationship. Sometimes, this meant exerting my authority immediately to help them learn that they must listen to mama. Often when they were toddlers, it meant picking them up to quickly stop the wrong behavior and to whisper quietly so they would listen, speaking to them about my expectation that they would obey. Grace-based parenting is not equal to permissiveness and lack of training or responsibility for children.

I read constantly when my children were little, to learn about how they developed. One article said the average two-year-old took between 30 seconds and a minute to have some messages sink in if they were engaged with something else (which they always seem to be!). Yet so often, I see moms being very strict with their children and being harsh when the child has not even understood yet just what he is doing wrong.

Harshness does not win over a child. Neither does wanting a two-year-old to be more mature than he can be, and punishing him for being two! We must use wisdom and discretion to understand the situation, the heart of the child, and how to best train him.. It is the kindness and mercy of God that leads to repentance. Child discipline should always be based on a relationship between a mature, benevolent, loving parent who is seeking to lead his child to maturity, and to train his child to think in the direction of righteousness and to train his behavior little by little.

The mature parent should consider the state of the child, his emotional needs and physical needs before meting out discipline.

Ignorance produces harshness

The unfortunate thing is that many parents, in the name of faithful discipline, do not understand or consider the differences between babies or toddlers or young children or even teens with all of their hormones. They exhibit anger and harshness toward their children, acting in a demeaning way, while neglecting the cues of the child at each stage. These parents have no perspective for the children themselves--they use a rule and formula no matter what the circumstance is--and often wonder why their children to not respond to them.

But, this kind of one-rule-for-every-situation discipline neglects the child's basic well being. If children are exhausted or overstimulated by television or other children, they are naturally more hostile or out of control. A wise parent will tend to his child's need for rest, quiet, rhythm, and balanced blood sugars, and understand hormones or emotions and personality. Often I see children disciplined for things the parent has neglected--their physical and emotional needs---when the child's behavior is often a direct signal to the parent to meet those needs.

I believe that Biblical discipline will take a long time to secure the heart--many years of constant loving training and instruction. We had very high standards for our children, but our discipline was always viewed through a lens of relationship as the strong basis of our discipleship. Without a close relationship, discipline is quite unproductive.

I was walking down the hallway of a hotel many years ago and a sweet, young, exhausted mom was exasperated pleading with her 4 month old baby, saying, "Go to sleep, go to sleep!" At which point the exhausted baby cried louder and louder.

I offered to hold the baby for a few minutes and to give the mom a break. She quickly gave the baby to me. I held the baby tightly in my arms and held it against my cheek and gently rubbed his head while singing softly into his little ear, and swaying gently back and forth. Immediately the little one relaxed its stiff body and listened to my voice and within 5 minutes was sound asleep. All mamas get exhausted and find babies who are inconsolable. She had given her all.

Different children require different responses. I observed that my very introverted, creative child took longer, even as a baby, to focus on me. I learned to work with his personality and to get on his eye level, gently get his attention, and then clearly state what my expectations were. He was happy to comply, but he did not always hear me or notice me the  first time.

My third child, I eventually learned, was ADHD, OCD, and a few other letters. But being harsh never, never made him more mature or able to change his behavior. I learned that the more I poured into his life--affection, time, listening, talking—the more able he was to obey. I learned that if I was patient and gentle and helped him--holding his hand, using words of encouragement and gentleness, I could lead him in obedience.

When babies are touched and loved and sung to and talked to and have regular routines and regular, healthy diets, they are much more happy all the time and responsive to instruction. However, when a child has not received these basic needs, the only means of a child letting his parents know he is not happy or comfortable with his life is to whine or cry. When I am around generally healthy children whose needs have been met, it is obvious because they seem more content with life. All children are immature and will misbehave, and pages and pages could be written about the subject, but these are just a few of my thoughts.

My last thoughts on this today and then I must run to my day. Jesus'  life is my example. There was a lost world because His children rebelled against Him. But His love and compassion was so much a part of His character and being, He was compelled to come to save us. He fellowshiped with His disciples, loved them, listened to them, confronted them, corrected them, fed them, taught them, and laid down His life for them. Because of their relationship with Him, and their love for them, they were willing to lay down their life for Him and His kingdom.

His love compelled them--it was a long-term process, this one of securing their obedience and hearts, but their hearts wanted to please Him and obey Him because of what He had meant to them. And so I did write Ministry of Motherhood, reflections on Jesus' method to secure the hearts of His twelve. It has been a study over many years. And today, from my quiet time, I am again humbled and blessed by His active, redeeming, sacrificial love that redeemed me.

His model to me as a parent, "Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for his friend."

I hope you’ll enjoy today’s podcast as Misty Krasawski joins me to discuss parenting our children from toddlerhood through the teenage years!

FOR MORE

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• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Cultivating a Heart to Serve & Podcast

Happy Day! It just happens that today when I was writing about a servant heart, my sweet friend popped some flowers by for me as a surprise that made my day.

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Sometimes we wrongly think that being good, doing the right things, feeding and clothing our children, are the spiritual things we “do” with our lives. Yet, it is our heart work that really matters. Do we have a heart to encourage, to support, to listen, to play, to help, to understand. These are the qualities we observe in Jesus. He came to serve, not to be served.

It is in pondering his life that I have found a model for motherhood to follow. But it is also the life of Christ I helped my children to imagine so that they would learn the motivation to serve others as Jesus did.

I ponder His story: Bending his knee on the hard, dusty floor, Jesus face creased in  deep thought as he grabbed a rough towel. Longing to reach the hearts of his beloved friends, He knelt to touch them, to serve them, to feed them, showing the depths of His love for them through his gentle, intentional gestures.

Now before the Feast of the Passover, Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end ...Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come forth from God and was going back to God, got up from supper, and laid aside His garments; and taking a towel, He girded Himself. Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. ~ John 13:1, 3-5

Jesus' call to His disciples was compelling; a call to lay down their lives, to serve, to experience rejection and even persecution. He was asking them to believe something that would eventually cost each one of their lives--that He, a carpenter from Nazareth, was actually the Messiah.

The darkness of the evening must have matched his heavy heart? And so what did He do ... before breaking bread and pouring wine, before letting Himself be broken?

He washed 120 toes.

What an example for us as we live life with our children!

"Jesus was going to transfer to His disciples the responsibility of taking God's message of redemptive love to the world. But instead of just telling them what to do, harshly commanding their allegiance with orders and threats or guilt and manipulative statements, He chose to tie the cords of His heart to theirs with the strong and unbreakable bond of a loving, serving relationship.

Jesus spent His last night on earth with His disciples in service to them. How powerful their memories of that night must have been--the King of the whole universe touching and rubbing their dusty feet and gently drying them with a towel. Their Lord and Master breaking the loaf of bread and serving each of them for the celebrated feast of Passover.

Jesus' example of servant leadership set Him apart from so many historical religious leaders. He was not a God who lorded it over His followers and demanded they follow Him or coerced their obedience through authoritarianism and fear. Instead, He called them to the excellence of holiness and yet lovingly served them in order to win their hearts and show them the means of reaching others' hearts as well.

Contemplating the hearts of my own children and seeking to teach them about the grace of God, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time, my attention, my "soft-tickling"--even when I am tired or have other "important" things n my mind--is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."

FOR MORE

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• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

The Green Ember Inspires Again! S.D. Smith & Podcast

Please note McDougal’s in the back. So much fun.

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Sometimes when you are just going about your own business and living a normal day, you find that God has hidden sweet surprises to delight you along the way. Sam and Josiah Smith were such sweet gifts from God. We were gathering at this tiny little fried chicken joint, (Did you know that I just love friend chicken and consider it a delicacy par none when done well?) and I was trying to decide tenders or pieces and how many, a dozen or so? :)

God ordained this friendship and we mark the time we met every year when we all attend Hutch Moot, hosted by Andrew Peterson, and finish our time together at the end of the weekend, eating too much, talking as fast as we can and enjoying the sweet fellowship of families that love one another without expectation or reserve.

Sam and I talked about so many things in the podcast today and I hope it encourages you as it did me.

Sam authored the Green Ember Series that has noble and adventuresome stories about rabbits with swords. Our son, Joel, as you will hear, became the audio reader for all of the books. He has thoroughly enjoyed interpreting them to the world. Joel also wrote a cd of music to accompany the series that I love to listen to, called Melodies For the Mended Wood. It is fun to imagine the rabbits going on their adventures through the lilting melodies.

This series inspires and creates pathways of the best virtues we all hope to embody: wisdom, love, courage, perseverance, and so much more. Your children, and you will love the books. The last book was just released, The Ember’s End. (You can buy the book or get it on audible and hear my son, Joel, read it.)

Find out more about Sam and his #RabbitsWithSwords adventures, The Green Ember Series, by visiting his website SDSmith.net.

Find Sam on social media: Facebook: @SDSmithAuthor Instagram: @SDSmithereens

You can purchase Sam’s books on Amazon or at his web store: sdsmith.net/store. Listen to Joel’s incredible performances of The Green Ember, Ember Falls, Ember Rising, and Ember’s End for FREE if your library uses Hoopla or Overdrive (may need to recommend). 

Get free downloads here on Hoopla link: https://sdsmith.net/hoopla/

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

How Are You Coping? & Some Silliness With Joy & Me & Podcast

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How are you coping? How are you making it through this sequestering away for Corona Virus?

Today, Joy and I had fun talking and just comparing notes. We shared our restless thoughts, our comforts, our complaints and the funny things happening in our lives. I promised to try to keep podcasts going during this time and we had lots of fun recording this one for you.

I think when I get out the first thing I want to do is go to my favorite little cafe, have a strong cup of coffee and enjoy. Joel said a restaurant with friends. Nathan and Keelia, anywhere that is out and about, a cafe, some place to go, something to enjoy.

The Clarkson clan wishes you a happy Tuesday and hope you enjoy our ponderings.

Remember, the giveaway is on for a week. Enter for your man. Share this post, share the book, buy the book—whatever you want. And leave comments on Nathan’s fb page and or here. Good luck.

Buy a copy HERE

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Capturing Kid's Hearts For God: Nathan's Birthday Giveaway & Podcast

Nathan and I always have fun together. A great memory at Christmas!

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"The only thing necessary thing for the triumph of evil is for good women (men)  to do nothing."

Edmund Burke

“But the people who know their God will display strength and take action.” Daniel 11:32b

We have all probably heard the quotes above many times, but still, so true. Godly people take action because the Holy Spirit prompts them to become warriors of light, fighting against darkness. But how do we shape the souls of our children in such a way that we capture their imagination with the part in God’s story?

Passivity is a form of rebellion, and hiding our children from darkness is passive reaction of fear to what is happening in culture. We are passive as a choice we make when we say, “I won’t follow my ideals. I will not help. I can’t give. I won’t serve. I refuse to get my hands dirty or to live sacrificially. I don’t know what to do and I am afraid a secular culture is going to ruin my children.”

Either we are engaged in the battle or we are refugees from cultural pressures, afraid of entering in the fray. . There are times for rest, for regrouping, for restoring or renewing a vision. But to choose to be passive about serving God or standing up for what is right is to reject being responsible. Yet, how do we prepare our boys and children to be prepared to stand firm, to bring light, to stand strong.

Obviously I cannot speak to every situation in one small blog. But we observe in our culture that there are very few “Stand Out” heroes for our boys to follow. Yet, I think deep in the heart of most every little boy is a hero waiting to be let out.

I am so excited today to share about Nathan’s new book, Good Man, to have you hear our discussion on the podcast where we talk about how to nurture a strong faith and a willing heart in your children. I hope you will be inspired and encouraged.

We have the ability to call our own little boys (and girls) to their best selves. We need only look inside their hearts to see the courage, nobility, kindness, generosity that wants to be expressed through their lives.

Today, Nathan and I talk about what it looks like to be a good man and how to shape your boys’ hearts so that they will grow in their self-image to wanting to be a good man in their generation—a good man who is willing to be a part of bringing God’s goodness and light and morality back into a culture that longs to be led and taught.

Nathan:

One look at our cultural moment and it's easy to tell that men and their identities are in crisis. Though lost and fractured, men face the pressure to be perfect. Our reactionary society is quick to condemn and slow to forgive, leaving men more confused than ever about how to live and who to be. Yet in Scripture, we continually find God choosing to work in and through flawed, imperfect, and broken individuals. Men who had massive character flaws and significant moral failings, but who also shared one important characteristic: the desire to follow the call of their Creator.

With engaging personal stories and insight into biblical truths, Nathan Clarkson declares to today's man that he is more than what the culture is telling him he is--angry, selfish, predatory, violent, and bored. Instead, still on the journey himself, Nathan calls today's man to find his identity in the One who created him on purpose, for a purpose, and encourages him to live an honest, authentic life marked by a winsome combination of confidence and humility.

Today, we share about his new book: Good Man. Order your copy from your favorite book store now and grab a copy for your friend.

Nathan and I will be doing a facebook live on my Facebook fan page: The real Sally Clarkson

He is also doing an amazing giveaway—it would be fantastic as a gift pack to give to a man in your or husbands for Father’s Day. You can enter by following both of us on facebook and leaving a comment, tagging your friend on my page or Nathan’s page and you can follow us both and leave comments in both places. The giveaway will last for a week, winners announced on Friday. You will love these beautiful items—a fountain pen, a beautiful leather journal and a pocket knife and a walking bag to carry it all. .

Please share this with your friends to give Nathan a great birthday present and to help him spread the word of his new book during Corona Virus. Thanks so much.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

More Resources:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

A Grace-Filled Heart--Key to a Nurturing Home

"The ultimate key to providing a nurturing environment in my home is me.

The physical surroundings can make a big difference. The lessons provided can be interesting. The curriculum I choose can challenge. 

In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home

or perfect training

or a perfectly spiritual role model

or a wife without faults--

but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a living home for them and to fully live the life of Christ in the borders of this home in such a way, that they understand, feel, taste His reality."

~Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

"In the twilight of our lives, we will be judged on how we have loved."

St. John of the Cross

It is truly a phantom to think that any woman can do it all! I have found in my own life, that if I am attending to the needs of my children, Clay, home, close friends and family, I really have to economize and prioritize my time as my life pretty much demands every moment of me. More and more with each passing day, I sense how important my role as a mother and godly woman is and I get such joy out of it, as I daily see the results of my many years of striving toward the goal of being a woman after God's own heart and serving those around me for His glory.

Now, don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I always feel loving towards these strange people who inhabit my home!

But because of my love for the Lord, which is more dear to me each year, I keep putting one step in front of the other and see, with the eyes of my heart and mind, the power of my work to fill souls with great thoughts and causes and love for God's kingdom. Mostly, though, I see more clearly how much I am a living picture of God's reality every day, by exhibiting the fruit of the spirit, by giving cups of cold, refreshing water; by serving and giving of myself and my wisdom and teaching, and by always taking the initiative to speak life and joy and wisdom on a regular basis.

We once had a friend who seemed very pious. Our family would often feel guilty when we ate dinner at her house, because she made us feel that we should all be more serious. We all felt like w had been let out of jail when we left her home!

She accomplished so much and had a pristine house, but we felt drained just being there. Her attempts to be spiritual and "work" for God, I am convinced, was out of a heart that was striving to figure out how to really know God and serve Him sincerely. Yet, the result of all her denying of self, speaking piously, and working, working, working, left most of the people in her life feeling guilty and distant from her.

Since she had apparently not experienced the grace and peace of God, she could only give out of a soul of performance,  which brings about death to relationships. Life must be infused with the grace and freedom of God. Eventually, this mom became depressed and gave up, wondering where God had gone, since she felt she had worked all her life for Him. Of course, He hadn’t gone anywhere; honestly, He did not ever require that she exhaust herself with a myriad of tasks; He wanted her to know His love and share it in the everyday moments of her life instead.

I do not wish in any way to discourage anyone who works hard for God. Yet, sometimes, we get lost trying to figure out how to really rest in God while holding up ideals. Giving our life into His hands and not taking all responsibility onto our shoulders is a good start.

As I have been pondering this situation, I have realized when I am in the presence of someone who really walks with God, there is evidence of life and joy and goodness and well-being and grace and faith. God tells us when we abide in Him--rest in Him, stay in Him, walk with Him—we will bear much fruit. The fruit is a natural result of His spirit working through us, not of us trying to push out works of righteousness on our own.

When one is washed with the unconditional love and grace and mercy of God, the result is peace, humility, and thankfulness of heart. The women I know who really exhibit the life of the Lord aren't above discouragement or humanity, but there is a palpable sense of walking with God and having made a decision to please Him and trust Him through the ups and downs of life. There is a security I feel in being with them, because I know their sails have been set toward the King and His Kingdom and I can trust in their integrity to continue journeying in the right direction with Him at the helm. Isn’t this just what we want for our children?

Growing in grace, peace, and maturity as we walk with the Lord is the key to crafting a nurturing home, especially in uncertain days. Let’s start there!

The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Clarkson, Sally

Choosing to be Steadfast, Strong, Faithful--Worth Pondering. & Podcast

In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Psalm 62:7

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 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

If we truly believe in Him and His promises then every day is a time for us to seek how to be faithful, at peace, strong, immovable.

Every day when I go outside and begin driving toward town, the mountains are there, stable, immovable, solid. God compares. Himself to a mountain or rock. I have been pondering this these last days and know that as I strain to be more like Him, I, too can be stable, strong, a. refuge. for others, dependable, steadfast.

This is a time to lean into our ability to be strong. We have the capacity. but we must exercise. our wills, for the sake of. our love for Christ, to wait for Him to direct our lives, not demanding to know and understand everything yet.

This is a time for us to act in light of our hope, that He is preparing for us a place where all of life will be redeemed. A time to show others—our families, children, friends, that our hope is sure—not false. It is a time we can write the days of our sequestering as ones of growth, strength, love, beauty because He is “God with us,” and He is a rock, immovable, our refuge.

May you find the will to live into your God given capacity in your own life to be strong, to persevere with faith and eyes upon Him.

So very grateful that He has been immovable in my life. So secure to stand on Him--for my life, for my children, my marriage. Blessings and rest to each of you precious ones today. May you deeply know His strength and steadfastness today.

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

A Heart For Manners: Teaching Children to Value Others & Podcast

Tea In Oxford! A Time to be civilized and enjoy life and goodies!

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Honor: To grant someone high respect, to esteem greatly

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;Honor: To Give. worth, value, respect to another. Romans 12: 10

Over the years of our lives, our family hosted hundreds, if not thousands of people. Yet, to make sure each one felt welcomed and cared for meant that we had to prepare our children’s hearts, (and our own), to know what to expect, how to treat each who came through the door. It’s one thing to want to tell people about Christ. Yet, it is quite another to know how to reach out, start a conversation, put people at ease. Manners are the vehicles through which we act out honoring others, to grant them the respect they deserve as a fellow human being. Manners give the confidence to know how to act towards someone.

We spoke to our children of cultivating a life that says “welcome.” To welcome means to grant a sense of pleasure for someone’s presence.

Starting out by giving our children an image of “a life that says welcome” was the foundation for all. manners they learned. We taught them that we honor others made in God’s image because that meant they had great worth to God . To extend hospitality and courtesy to others was a way for us to extend the heart of Christ to others. “A heart prepared to say, ’Welcome’" greets each weary traveler as they drag heavy suitcases awkwardly up our little entry steps, and find a bottle of water, a card, a chocolate, a fresh towel, a candle lit to bring fragrance to the room.. Candles flicker, music softly wafts through the air and chocolate almonds, tiny wrapped gouda cheeses all say, "you are a valued person and we want you to find rest and peace as you enter our home."

The past few years, giggles, tears, antics and life-stories amuse the walls of our home, as countless friends (and strangers) have filed into this Clarkson homestead.  Bible studies, dinners for students visiting at a local ministry, a leadership intensive, sweet friends coming for a "cuppa" and a few minutes shared rocking on the front porch, sweet children home for limited days, and a friendship talk. all mark the occasions of a visit.

Always there is endless eating; and hearts wanting to be loved and encouraged. Sanctuary has been on my mind the past few months as I have sought to understand the importance of having a heart and a home where all can expect to come for life, beauty and peace--and to feel the touch of Him in a tangible way through our words, hands, and embraces.

Godly women shape their homes into sanctuaries where the love of God, the comfort of Jesus, the celebration of joy sings through the very oxygen of the cracks and corners of her home and brings just what each one needs as they enter there.

"We view the ministry of hospitality in our home as God's tool for us to train our children in graciousness. When someone comes to our home, our children know that we expect them to be gracious and quick to serve. That means welcoming adult guests properly, asking if there is something they can get for them, taking their coat, or whatever is appropriate to the visit. (Hospitality drills are a helpful way to train them in this area).

Our children know that being well-mannered and gracious is more than just a cultural formality...it is the way we show respect to another person, affirm their value as a person made in God's image, and strengthen our testimony to them not only as a Christian family but also as a homeschooling family. 

It is the practical expression of treating others the way you want to be treated, regarding others as more important than yourself, and looking out for the interests of others. Even when we go to someone else's house, we will still practice hospitality. We rehearse with the kids before they leave the car how to be gracious guests who are polite, respectful, and helpful." -Educating the Wholehearted Child

Even though my children are now adults, they still help me every time we welcome anyone into our home. One will be bustling around, setting up for tea time, and before I know it, another child has already cleaned up the entire kitchen. The dishes will be washed, the counters tidied, and each guest is sure to have been welcomed and served. (No, this didn’t happen the first time I tried to pass on this value, but over. time, repetition, practice, correction and then doing it all over again as an expectation for life shaped their own personal narratives about who they were, what they did, how they behaved. Eventually it became as natural as breathing.)

This desire to serve, help, and host does not appear out of thin air. In order for your family to be a team that works together as a unit when you have guests over, your children must know what is expected of them. We have put this into an acronym for you to remember. TMI

-Training: Train in grace behavior (manners). Value and pursue priority relationships. Train your children how to pray for those they will be called to serve.

-Modeling: Adults-set the example. Be gracious and kind to family members. Show grace and love to strangers.

-Instruction: About our relationship with God. About the power of the Holy Spirit--lived out through real people to real people.

Proverbs 22:6 states:

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

It is absolutely crucial that we train our children in the ways of graciousness. This also means that you must have patience and grace with your children as they learn how to serve others.

Start practicing by assigning your children different ways they can help the next time you have friends or family over for dinner. If you remember TMI, your little ones will flourish into adults who are loving, gracious, polite, and respectful.

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Destroying Dragons: No More Living By Guilt & podcast

I saw this book and it reminded me of my boys when they were little.. But beyond that, don’t we all allow the dragons in our mind attack us daily?

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Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.  He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

II Corinthians 3:5-6

Anyone. who knows. me. knows. that I am a woman of ideals. But where is the balance between ideals and reality? Seems Paul. agrees. with us. In Romans: 7:23-24, we. see him struggling with the inconsistencies between what he. wishes he could do to be more godly and perfect and the reality: “but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”

I love how real the Bible is, in that it faces our problems in life straight on. Scripture never pretends that we could ever be perfect. Yet, daily, it seems, most women I know accuse themselves of the guilt of shortcomings—anger, depression, criticism, complaining, harshness. To me, Satan is a dragon, who loves to accuse believers,. We must actively slay those thoughts if we want to be free and live by grace.

If we want to be healthy emotionally and glorify God as thanks for HIs generous and complete provision of grace when we accepted His life in exchange for our own, we must move towards the direction of living with ourselves by grace, total unconditional love and acceptance by Him who cheers us on.

The dark shadows played upon the window of my bedroom, as the sun set over the mountains. The darkness seemed to match my mood. I remember this day clearly because I felt trapped and wondered if I would truly make it through the rest of the years of my children being at home. One more move, teens in the house and a little girl who wanted to play with her beany babies, and a hormonal middle-aged mama who was worn to the bone, made for catastrophe.

There were many such days through the journey of life and motherhood and the fingers pointed at my heart accused me of the inadequacies and failures in my life.

Today, I am writing all the sweet women who are in this place and feel alone—as though they are alone in their feelings of guilt.

A sweet woman wrote me a facebook message recently and said she often felt guilty when she read my posts. I totally understand! We all have regrets and can feel like, "I wish I had known more!" But, most of us were not trained to be good mamas or even mature women and had very few good models to follow, so often we muddle the best we can.

The reason I write this blog is to hopefully give some encouragement that I longed for when I was mothering my now adult children. I have learned a lot over the last 66 years and if any of what I share can be of help, please let it encourage you--we can all move forward from where we are--with great hope, because of Him. So, I give you a part of my heart and how I have kept from staying in the mire of guilt and disappointment with myself over the years.

Do you ever hate reading articles where the writer always seems positive and Pollyannish? (Why? Because it doesn’t seem to match the reality of your own life and experience and it feels saccharine and unreal?)

Do you feel guilty for yelling and becoming angry at your children too often?

Are you regularly immature in front of your children? In marriage, do you become easily frustrated and can’t resist fighting with your spouse that you know you should love? in life, to you see pettiness and a critical attitude instead of love?

Do you ever wonder if there is any turning back? If you have been such a failure that it will be impossible to redeem your situation or child or marriage?

Does sadness fill your soul because of a prodigal or rebellious, angry child and you think it was all your fault?

DON’T STAY THERE! MOVE ON!

Perhaps this sounds pretty absurd—and heartless. Yet, I have seen that my  dwelling in self-pity and living in condemnation is an endless downward spiral. God does not want me to have a dark soul—only Satan does. (He accuses the brethren before the Father day and night!)

Everyone you know sins and falls short on a regular basis. (All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God!)

All of these needed Him and what He died to give—redemption and restoration.

Heroes are those people who feel the same stress, fear, anxiety that everyone else feels in a terrible situation. But they do something about it—they act in a forward direction and do something to save the day.

So, you can be a hero—you are still writing your story—Yet you have to choose to live in forgiveness. Your story cannot have a good ending unless you decide to celebrate life right where you are and give your guilt, inadequacy, condemnation and then live in the freedom that He wants you to have.

All of us are broken and unworthy. We might express our weakness and sin in different ways, but we are all pretty petty, selfish and dark in our inner hearts. No matter how diligently we try to be perfect and especially to fool people into thinking we have our act together more than others, God knows. (And if anyone pretends to be righteous, they are fooling themselves and God—“

If we say we have no sin, we are liars and his word is not in us.” I john 1:10

IIn the same way we would not expect a toddler to live a life without making messes, crying, throwing a few fits, so God is not surprised at our incredible potential for messing up. In comparison to His holiness and perfection, we are mere toddlers—if that. “He is mindful that we are but dust.” Psalm 103

Guilt squeezes the spirit of life out of our souls! Guilt is destructive—and if he says you are not guilty, then for you to refuse His forgiveness and patience and grace is in Biblical terms—sin! To not live in His grace is sin.

(Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. Hebrews 3:12)

There was some point in which I knew I could not live in a constant state of guilt or self-condemnation. The more I read scripture, the more I understood that Jesus did not intend for me to live in that place, and moreover, it is a place of destruction.

A mama who lives in condemnation, guilt and a state of inadequacy is negative, depressed, harsh and down so often that it also becomes a drag on her children.

Somewhere along the way, I decided to put the load of guilt of all the ways I had failed into the file drawers of heaven and I marked forgiven over them. And now, often, when voices accuse me of once more blowing it, I just pray and re-give my state of guilt to Jesus and seek to stay alive in the freedom that He has provided.

These are some of the verses that helped me:

He separates our sin in our lives as far as the east is from the west.Psalm 103

There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, for the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1

It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

All of these verses and so many more, spoke to me of the heart Jesus had for us to know His love, His forgiveness and adoption of us into His royal family.

That is why His salvation, His love, His forgiveness, His indwelling, His commitment to refine us and to build us into the image of Jesus is such a priceless treasure—because He saves us from our dreary life of mistakes!

Easter is my favorite season of the year—because I am forgiven, I am adopted, I am new in Christ. And as a toddler, I seek Him all the time and expect Him to help me and to accept me into His arms. That is what I did for my immature toddlers. Could the God of the universe do any less.

But what to do with all the failures and ways I defrauded my children? That heavy burden of grief and sadness for all the ways I have failed?

“If we confess our sins, he is able to forgive us our sins.”

He is able. He is able.

Do not accept the heavy burden of guilt—choose to live in your new freedom. Choose to put away the voices, the rule-keepers. Faith is a choice of your will.

Believe that He is a redeemer—He can draw back those stray sheep—He loves them and especially wants to love and help you because you are a mama after His heart. He will redeem—buy back—all of those mistakes. Redemption is what HE does—he delights in doing what He was made to do. So don’t waste your time worrying—leave your failings and regrets in His loving hands.

After all, I think mamas are his favorites because like Him, they are laying down their lives for their sweet sheep.

May you live in the resurrection power today and each day till you see Him face to face.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

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• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!