The Way of Kings With Nathan Clarkson

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Since Nathan was a little boy, he has been cultivating the hero that was inside his heart. He loved every tale about bravery, knights, fighting against evil, living as warriors for right causes. Now, after years of storing up these messages, he decided to write a book that would come along parents to inspire their children to imagine themselves becoming a hero in their own stories. The Way of Kings is a beautiful book written with you in mind.

This is what Nathan had to say,

“Today's man is in an identity crisis. With a never-ending barrage of confusing, condescending, and condemning voices telling him who he is and who he isn't, it can feel impossible to discover who he was made to be. Men were made to be kings, to protect the light, fight the darkness, and rule well the domain God has given them. But to be a good king, men must act in the likeness of the King.

Drawing on the ancient tradition of an older and wiser ruler passing on his wisdom, like Solomon in the book of Proverbs, Nathan Clarkson offers young men 40 short and to-the-point letters for the journey. Packed with practical, biblically-based advice on real-life issues, this book helps men base their identity not in who the world says they should be but in who their King says they can be.

For the modern man looking to live out a greater story, The Way of Kings offers ancient wisdom rooted in sacred Scripture to help him discover who he was created to be.”

I would have loved to have been able to give this book to Clay to go through with my boys when they were young. Boys need stories, inspiration and vision for living into the design their king and creator intended.

So much fun to podcast with my own King in Training who has been envisioning this book since he was a little boy.

By Clarkson, Nathan

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Numbering Our Days, Spending Our Lives

One idea very important to both Clay and I was that every day we spent with our children mattered. We talked about it often, both the two of us alone and in conversation with our children. After all, the way each moment is lived adds up to the way the day has been lived, and ultimately those days become the story of our lives.

If we fail to number our children’s days—to be serious about how we will shape and influence their hearts and minds for God during our brief window of opportunity—then others will do that for us, with or without our consent. Our children will take from others—whether peers, culture, church, media, teachers, or strangers–the influence and instruction that God designed them to find primarily from us, their parents. Our children’s spirits are hardwired by God to look to us first for the spiritual influence they long for because of God’s image within them. If they don’t get it from us, they’ll seek it elsewhere.

A closer look at Moses’ prayer in Psalm 90 reinforces this idea. It is a prayer to the God who has “been our dwelling place in all gen- erations” (v. 1). In other words, God is and always has been faithful and trustworthy, and we will discover true life only by finding the life He offers in Himself, our ultimate dwelling place. In the first eleven verses of his psalm, Moses meditates on the same transience of life that David confessed. He admits that our lives are like grass that sprouts in the morning and is gone that night, putting it in the familiar context that “a thousand years in Your sight are like yesterday when it passes by, or as a watch in the night” (v. 4).

He first paints the big picture, but then he makes the reality of passing time very personal: “As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years . . . for soon [our life] is gone and we fly away” (v. 10). To paraphrase a popular modern proverb, “Life is short; then you fly.” Seventy or eighty years would have been a long, full life when Moses was writing, and yet in rela- tion to eternity it is a “watch in the night.” But even though Moses justifiably laments the brevity of life with these words, don’t miss that he’s also building his case for why we need to take life seriously.

Moses’ meditation on the fleeting nature of life leads naturally, yet perhaps a bit surprisingly, into his life-affirming request of God: “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (v. 12). Like David, Moses is declaring by way of his prayer the importance of knowing the end from the beginning, of embark- ing on the journey of life with the destination in mind. The Hebrew word for “to number” can also mean “to prepare,” so Moses might also be saying “teach us to prepare our days.” Or, to put the request in plain language, “Show us how to plan our lives so we can please You, Lord.” It’s not just about what to do or be; it’s also about who to become—a wise child of God.

Find more here:

Tea Time Tuesday: Learning to Die to Self as the Key to a Peaceful Life

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“Tea should be taken in solitude.” C. S. Lewis

I have come to depend on solitude, a time alone, a simple time of centering myself to stay alive in a very demanding life. This particular tea cup, one of the original Miss Tea Cups, has accompanied me through literally years of seasons—even to the adult years of my children and all that their lives entail. Solitude is a gift where we may meet with God, unburden ourselves, find strength and wisdom for our next steps. I pull away, I seek answers, rest, wisdom, peace of mind, a way forward.

This week, I have been pondering death and dying to self. If only I had known that was the secret to my life of worship—giving up my rights, pouring out my life, choosing to serve others as Christ did, and living into the joy of the Holy Spirit surging through my life to bring His light and love to bear.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

Luke 9:24-25

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?

I wish I had understood the value of dying to myself as a young woman. I just kept thinking if I found the right planner, the right formula, I could control or tame life. But when I gave up my expectations, my rights, my demands, I found peace and a spirit of rest. I am still learning. Join me in my tea time podcast today and share your thoughts with me.

Learning How to Die by Jon Foreman

She said, "Friend,
All along-
Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to laugh not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to...
Die
Die
I've been learning how to die."

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Be "For" Your People!

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Be for  Your Child

Here we are checking on the Queen in Buckingham Palace! What a whirlwind my life has been in the past few days. Speaking at a small, private retreat-getaway of mums here in Oxford was challenging and encouraging for me. Then, I literally ran for about 15 minutes to catch a train to London where I ran all over London with Joy, as Nathan and Keelia flew over from America. Walking miles all over our favorite places in London filled our day, and finally, we are back in our home in Oxford to celebrate ten days of life together as “the Clarksons.”

One of the things it has caused me to ponder, again, is how important it is for all of us and especially our children to have a champion for them, to affirm their uniqueness, to give space for them to live fully into their own adult decisions and to continue, as Christ does to us, affirming and loving them as they are.

A favorite verse of my mother when I was a little girl was, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NIV, emphasis added).

To be for someone means that you are their advocate and you will support them, believe in their dreams, and want the best for them. There are endless ways to show love and to provide a foundational championing of our children. The essence of this kind of love is actually a comprehensive understanding of all the areas of love: “I am for you.” “I am your advocate.” “I will believe forward into the good things I can imagine for your life.” “You can count on me.” “I will choose to believe the best about you and help you grow and find support your whole life.”

Being “for” someone does not mean that they will always exhibit the kind of behavior or character we deem admirable. But it is looking at our children with unconditional love and cultivating eyes that see the possibilities in the midst of the “terrible twos” of toddlers or hormonal teen years.

Now that my children are all full-fledged adults with their own life demands, I find I still play the role of encourager, being for them in a world that challenges their faith, morality, and ideals. We become the voice of God’s Spirit as we encourage them and help them continue to find that embracing ideals is worth the cost. We are companions of the grace of God.

Bearing patiently with one another, assuming the best, persevering in love is the key to continuing to trust. And asking for forgiveness and being humble is a part of any good relationship.

As we evaluate how to love our children and students well, we must ask ourselves, “Do they believe and feel I have their best interests in mind, or do they think I have my own agenda for them?” “Do they understand that even though they struggle, I am here to help them succeed?” “Is their heart open􏰝to my instruction, or is there a wedge of resistance that I need to figure out and address?”

In the end, laying down our lives to love those we seek to influence will open the pathways of their hearts and minds to growth, development, and mental and spiritual strength. The most intelligent instructor in the world becomes a noisy gong or clanging symbol to the mind of a child if there is not love present in the relationship. But the ones who purposefully and intentionally lay down their lives to do the hard work of loving and winning hearts will find a pathway to influencing their children for a lifetime.

What is Home, Anyway?

Early in the life of our family, I realized … In order to build a vibrant, rich, lifegiving home, I needed to clarify my vision and construct a detailed plan for our own unique community called “Clarkson.” As I pondered what I wanted my home to become, I jotted down thoughts in my journal. These became the essence of the Clarkson blueprint, my vision for what home is and should be:

  • Home is the haven of inspiration where the art of life is expressed and taught. Color is strewn into every corner; delectable food is tasted; art, books, and other sources of beauty are strategically placed throughout its rooms and walls. Nature is observed from each window—flowers, plants, rocks, shells. The works of the Master Artist speak of the work of His hands.

  • Home is the place where the whispers of God’s love are heard regularly. The touch of His hands is given intentionally throughout the day, and His words of encouragement and affirmation lay the foundation of loving relationships.

  • Home is the place where stories of heroism, sacrifice, love, and redemption are heard, embraced, and celebrated. These shape the dreams of the souls who live there.

  • Home is a place of ministry. Redeeming words, thoughts, and actions are shared and taught, the wisdom and instruction of God is passed along, and God’s love is offered to all who come under its influence.

    What is home to you? What do these ideas spark in your own heart as you think about your family culture?

Joy: A Spiritual Discipline to Cultivate

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Teatime habits, mornings of quiet and contemplation, fills the soul with faith, courage, inspiration to live life well and purposefully. SBC

After a week of adventures and many walks through thousands of blooming flowers and trees gave me a lift—spring is on its way. Miss tea cup and I drank in all the sublime beauty and she wanted to get as close as possible to smell the flowers all around. Can you spot her?

Our world is very troubled now and has been for a long time. Yet, I have learned that cultivating joy, being a light bearer is a spiritual discipline to practice, employ in the demands of every day life. It is natural to listen to the voices of gloom and doom, it is supernatural—Holy Spirit filled—to live a life of hope and serving others in the hope we find in Christ.

Trips with friends, my children, meetings, deadlines filled my days but I also made time to cultivate memories and to pass on encouragement to several around me. As I practice encouragement, my own soul is lifted.

This week I interview a friend whose life is given to encouraging and inspiring others: Liz Hoare, a tutor at Wycliffe Hall here in Oxford. You will be so encouraged!

I also speak of books for this time that speak of journeys through times of war that might spark the right kind of conversations with your older children. (The Hiding Place and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Raspberries with Lemon Yoghurt, whip cream and a drizzle of honey is amazing.

There are songs, pondering, all sorts of tales and encouragement this week. Enjoy a few refreshing moments and listen. I wish you peace in your heart this week.

Remember: "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

- Corrie Ten Boom

Celebrating Life in the Everyday

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Last Monday found me a bit bleary-eyed as I approached my new week. A full weekend of company before that left me catching my breath, my podcasts, blog posts deadlines, hosting my weekly Bible study and getting it set up, (setting up chairs for the 20ish people in my small living room, preparing refreshments, and the study!), publishing deadlines looming), meals, meetings, children, Clay, a very full plate.

But Joy, who had also just come back from a 5 day journey the night before, texted and said, “We need to fit in our daffodil visit to London—you know we have done it for 4 years in a row. We need to make it a commitment and just go! How about tomorrow?”

Daffodils in the UK are a long tradition not to be missed—countless thousands and thousands on road sides, in parks, along walls, in church years—said to have been started by Roman soldiers over 1000 years ago.

Some things are more important than all the piles of “to do’s.” It wasn’t just the daffodils that called. It was the time my very precious daughter and I would invest in one another’s lives, talking, making memories, giving value to our friendship, having the chance to be deeply involved in one another’s lives that drove me to put everything aside for one day and to make the spontaneous commitment.

A close relationship with all of my children, and the privilege of being able to love and influence them has come from making thousands of such choices—relationship over responsibility. Being sure to make time for the relationship intentionally, placing real live commitments to be together in the calendar—in the rhythms of life.

Jesus chose to live with his disciples, walk with them over the dusty roads, eat meals with them, sleep with them, train and take them with him in order to pass on a legacy of faith. He would weave and exhibit servant leadership in front of them with them as eyewitnesses to all the mundane and normal, daily interactions of his life. But he also made time to talk with them, meet with them, encourage them—his relationship came out of a resolve to be intentionally involved day in day out. And these were the ones who, as acts says, “turned the world upside down.”

So, Joy and I took time to go to Green Park, St. James Park, to wander, to talk, to drink our coffees and share deep thoughts and incidental every day occurrences. I may forget those days when I washed one more dish, did one more duty, complete one more chore. But I will not forget the day we made one another a priority and made a forever memory, cherished our friendship amidst busy life.

As we were walking through the park, and delighted in the first warm-enough day to be outside, we joined hundreds of others who had made the same decision. She gave me one of her ear buds, while she stuffed the other into her ear and we listened to this delightful song together as we walked through the parks doing just what the song said. You must take a listen:

London in the Spring

Oh, London in the spring
Makes me feel so lucky I'm alive
I've got love to give
I've got my whole life to live

Walking through the park
Sunshine pours like honey through the trees
I believe I'm coming home

Well, some people tell me
I've better things to do
And more productive ways that
I could spend my time

But I'm not sure I agree
It often seems to me, we spend our lives
Talking foolish, running blind
And we forget how to enjoy the simple things
Like walking through London in the spring

Artist: Passenger

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  • Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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  • Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

  • Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

What Does it Mean to Share the Family Table?

“Share!” It’s a common refrain in most homes, and we said it often enough in our own. We need our children to share toys, rooms, space in the back seat, etc. etc. Sharing at the table, however, is a different experience than any of these …

Sharing food is an intimate human act. Sharing something from our plate at the dinner table, sharing a favorite entrée at a restaurant, sharing the last granola bar while lost in the woods—each is an interpersonal exchange involving a complex mix of feelings. Children know this instinctively. Just think of a cookie-possessed child asked to share with a cookie-deprived child. Whatever the response, it’s easy to see the complex forces at work in the interaction.

Obviously, the lifegiving table model involves sharing of this kind. We pass around the serving dishes, and we make sure that each person is fed. But this intimate act of sharing is actually an invitation to a much more significant one—the sharing of ourselves. In the same way that we give and receive portions of food to feed our bodies, we can also give and receive portions of our hearts to feed our spirits—hopes, fears, joys, failures, loves, desires, wonders, faith, victories. We share food to stay alive physically. We share hearts to stay alive emotionally and spiritually.

But there is a catch. Opening our hands to share food comes much more naturally and easily to most of us than opening our hearts to share our spirits. We need quite a bit more encouragement, it seems, to share our hearts, even at the table. The gathering helps. The blessing helps. The act of sharing good food and drink definitely helps. All of these experiences can set the stage. But the kind of interpersonal sharing that is truly lifegiving usually requires something more.

Through four decades of life and ministry in all sorts of groups and all variety of tables, we have become very aware of how this dynamic works. Sharing spiritually from open hearts around a table almost never happens unless someone in the group is intentional and initiating. Someone has to lead the way, to begin the act of sharing and to prompt others to share as well.

This is similar but not really the same as initiating conversation with “icebreaker” questions. The point is not just to let people get acquainted by giving out random facts, but to encourage the sharing of stories. People, after all, are not static collections of information; they are stories waiting and wanting to be told. Our stories are what define us and help to locate us within the greater story of what God is doing in us and in the world—the slow but steady progress of the Kingdom spreading across all creation. The more each person is able to see their life in that context, the more they will find hope, exercise faith, and risk love.

Read more in The Lifegiving Table!

Tea Time Tuesday: Diligence Builds Legacy

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 “Tea is one of the main stays of civilization in this country.”  – George Orwell

Miss Teacup and I were sitting on my couch one rainy day this week and we reminisced about celebration breakfasts we had enjoyed over the year. The occasion could be birthday, a holiday but we made a big deal of our momentous occasions and stored up a million memories over tea, coffee and feasting. Often, the meals were on our deck facing the forested areas surrounding our home and with a view towards the distant mountains. Such delight and celebration with our most beloved “people.” 

Our home life was not always picture perfect, but always full of color, taste, sound, friendship, beauty, life — I got tickled when I looked back at this photo today. Count how many designs of tea cups or mugs you can see on the table, a glorious and fun mess — obviously everyone had their favorite cups.

Joel is our chef for making the best breakfast for dinners — hash browns, scrambled cheese, sour cream eggs, turkey bacon and either homemade cinnamon rolls or as in the photo, a fresh doughnut from a new shop in town. We licked up every crumb.

Thanks for praying for my eye; special lens was attached to my eye — think of a permanent contact lens — to help me gain some of my vision back. I think it is helping a little bit, far sight is better. My eyes and brain are trying to coordinate. Funny thing is that when I close one eye to see what I see, it sees things in color, green leaves — when I close the other eye, it sees brown for the color, so some color loss but over all better sight. Thanks for praying. It is not natural for some of us to be vulnerable. 

So much more on the podcast: music, lentil soup recipe, 2 books to read for yourselves, stories about Frank Lloyd Wright and also Mozart. Blessings and blessings to all of you today.

“I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

A Heart for Serving Others: 10 Gifts of Heart 5:1

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For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but
to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.
MARK 10:45

Serving others, when it becomes a habit, becomes an art form that can bring great pleasure and a sense of accomplishment to us and our families. When I hosted leadership intensives in my home over the years to train women how to reach out and minister to others, I found that the response to my messages was so much more heartfelt when I served those who came with a fun, lovely meal. Even a sandwich tray becomes a feast when offered to one who finds that hospitality was just what they needed—the loving care of someone else given to them.

Here is a story I have often told that taught my boys to be givers, lovers, those who would reach out.

Even though the rain slowed me down, my heart was in a hurry as we pulled up to a stoplight in Nashville. That’s when we all saw the weather-beaten man on the curb holding up a rain-soaked sign. It was just Joel, 7, and Nathan, 5, in the backseat, and we were
running late for their weekly music lessons. My anxious heart thumped to the rhythm of the windshield wipers as I waited for the green light to go. I quickly glanced at the bedraggled figure standing outside our car. No. I couldn’t stop today. Not today. There simply wasn’t time.
“Mama,” Nathan’s voice piped up from the backseat. “Look at that man in the rain. Look, he has a sign. He must be cold.”
Then Joel joined in to read the words off the soaked sign: “‘Homeless. Anything helps. God bless.’” I was still looking at the light waiting for green. “Look, Mom, he only has one leg.”
For a moment, Joel contemplated this observation with a solemn, sad little face, and then he turned to me, eyes big and urgent. I knew where this was headed. “Mom, we should help him. We should buy him a hamburger!” I glanced at my watch and scouted the busy street for any nearby fast f ood restaurants. There were none in sight. But Joel, seeing the hesitation in my face, leaned forward from the back, straining against his seatbelt. “Come on, Mom,” he urged, “he really needs our help, and you’ve told us we should always try to help the people God puts in our way.”
He was right. Clay and I were always telling our kids to keep their eyes open for the people God might put in their lives who needed their help or kindness. We wanted our kids to see themselves as servants, to have a self-perception as givers. I couldn’t argue with Joel’s impulse to give. I decided that today music lessons would simply have to wait and I rolled down my window.

I hope you’ll join me on the podcast today, to hear the rest of this story! You can also read about it here …