A Great Estate is Built One Brick at a Time

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“The wise woman builds her house,” we are told in Proverbs. Yet, I have seen many women in the very midst of the messy, challenging work of building their house into a legacy of faith, righteousness, morality, kingdom messages, give up right in the middle of building because of weariness or discouragement.

As I spent the last 10 days with most of my children, talking, talking, talking and as I now spend time still investing in my relationship with them daily, I am realizing that the building has been years longer than I knew to expect. It has also cost me most of my whole life—and yet, the building of this legacy is deeply satisfying as it seems like a work that really matters for eternity.

“The House of Clarksons” was built one brick, one day at a time over many years.

Jesus reminded us about building, “For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost, to see if he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28

How important it is that we understand that the building of a legacy of faith (the house we are building) is over long years, requires much work and yet is the greatest work of our lives.

As Nathan and I share about what shapes one’s understanding of what it means to be royalty, God’s holy subjects, as stewards of all that is his, I am reminded that the faith he now holds dear was built over countless thousands of days, with stories told, love given, conversations had, training give over and over again.

Do not be discouraged in your vastly important work of “house building” but keep going, every brick is building towards a heritage that you were made to build and that you were also made to enjoy the fruits of.

Join Nathan and me today as we speak of the countless stories that were read and told to shape the ultimate destiny of His life.

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

The Way of Kings: Ancient Wisdom for the Modern Man

By Clarkson, Nathan

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The Beauty of Love that Gives and Forgives

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

~I Corinthians 13:4-8a

When I graduated from college, I worked on the staff of Campus Crusade for 2 years at the University of Texas, and then moved to Eastern Europe to travel in Communist countries as a missionary. I had the illusion that because I had a committed heart, I was already mature even though I’d only walked with God for a short time.

Since the Lord is a good parent who wanted me to grow into the likeness of Christ, and He saw that I was quite young, immature, self-centered, and full of pride, He knew I needed more practice and training to become more like Christ. So He gave me a husband and children, so I could really find out what sacrificial love was all about. It has not been easy to pull out the weeds of unfair expectations; to fight the storms of giving up my rights, to endure the drought of feelings that did not always match up to what I thought a loving wife and mother should feel in a happy home. I just kept holding on to Him, pondering His life and seeking to be loyal through faith in His reality and presence, even though I could not always see Him.

Since that time, though still growing, I have learned so much more about true love, self-sacrifice, commitment, and long-suffering — and it has all made me love Him more, because I see how much of my life has required that of Him — as I have tested Him, misbehaved, thrown tantrums, and pulled away at times. But still He loves me. He sacrificed for us while we were yet sinners.

Love must grow over years and years to become mature. It must be cultivated and watered and nurtured and protected and worked again.

Thank you, sweet Lord, that You showed me the way and went before me to model real love.

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for His friends."

Jesus, our gentle Savior, said, "Father, Forgive them for they know not what they do,” as He hung, bleeding, in great pain, yet with compassion and love still primary above all He was experiencing. He forgave all as He gave up His life.

May you have a blessed Good Friday, and a beautiful Easter full of the love and joy possible as we look at Christ’s suffering, and then His resurrection and joyous victory over death for all of us.

Tea Time Tuesday: What's Up with the Clarksons?

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Sometimes when I look back on my life, I don’t know how I did it all. This week, Nathan and Keelia visited from New York, and we gathered as a family, at a million meals, had other friends over multiple times, took long walks, celebrated tea time every day and even went to a formal one, stayed up too late, had scrambled cheese eggs and sour dough dark bread every day, and and and!

Some things never change! This week reminded me that our family was shaped by feasting, talking, laughing, being together over and over and over again. And this is how we celebrated our closeness and mutual legacy of family friendship this week. (We did miss Sarah and Thomas and my 3 grandkids!)

Finally, this, our last evening together, found us walking a couple of miles through a grassy meadow beside the Thames River, sharing burgers and chips (French Fries) and documenting once again that we are family. We have a place of belonging with another. In spite of introverts and extroverts, differing opinions, personalities, we are safe with one another. Forever commitment was once again celebrated and already we have all gone back to our various walks of life.

Today, for Tea Time Tuesday, I recorded a lively and hilarious podcast with these wonderful ones and I hope it brings a smile and encouragement to you, as you celebrate your own people amidst lots of life and love. One of our mutual conversations: Enjoy today—every day is a gift. Sending love from a tired but happy heart.

How was your week?

More Resources:

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The Way of Kings With Nathan Clarkson

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Since Nathan was a little boy, he has been cultivating the hero that was inside his heart. He loved every tale about bravery, knights, fighting against evil, living as warriors for right causes. Now, after years of storing up these messages, he decided to write a book that would come along parents to inspire their children to imagine themselves becoming a hero in their own stories. The Way of Kings is a beautiful book written with you in mind.

This is what Nathan had to say,

“Today's man is in an identity crisis. With a never-ending barrage of confusing, condescending, and condemning voices telling him who he is and who he isn't, it can feel impossible to discover who he was made to be. Men were made to be kings, to protect the light, fight the darkness, and rule well the domain God has given them. But to be a good king, men must act in the likeness of the King.

Drawing on the ancient tradition of an older and wiser ruler passing on his wisdom, like Solomon in the book of Proverbs, Nathan Clarkson offers young men 40 short and to-the-point letters for the journey. Packed with practical, biblically-based advice on real-life issues, this book helps men base their identity not in who the world says they should be but in who their King says they can be.

For the modern man looking to live out a greater story, The Way of Kings offers ancient wisdom rooted in sacred Scripture to help him discover who he was created to be.”

I would have loved to have been able to give this book to Clay to go through with my boys when they were young. Boys need stories, inspiration and vision for living into the design their king and creator intended.

So much fun to podcast with my own King in Training who has been envisioning this book since he was a little boy.

By Clarkson, Nathan

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• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Numbering Our Days, Spending Our Lives

One idea very important to both Clay and I was that every day we spent with our children mattered. We talked about it often, both the two of us alone and in conversation with our children. After all, the way each moment is lived adds up to the way the day has been lived, and ultimately those days become the story of our lives.

If we fail to number our children’s days—to be serious about how we will shape and influence their hearts and minds for God during our brief window of opportunity—then others will do that for us, with or without our consent. Our children will take from others—whether peers, culture, church, media, teachers, or strangers–the influence and instruction that God designed them to find primarily from us, their parents. Our children’s spirits are hardwired by God to look to us first for the spiritual influence they long for because of God’s image within them. If they don’t get it from us, they’ll seek it elsewhere.

A closer look at Moses’ prayer in Psalm 90 reinforces this idea. It is a prayer to the God who has “been our dwelling place in all gen- erations” (v. 1). In other words, God is and always has been faithful and trustworthy, and we will discover true life only by finding the life He offers in Himself, our ultimate dwelling place. In the first eleven verses of his psalm, Moses meditates on the same transience of life that David confessed. He admits that our lives are like grass that sprouts in the morning and is gone that night, putting it in the familiar context that “a thousand years in Your sight are like yesterday when it passes by, or as a watch in the night” (v. 4).

He first paints the big picture, but then he makes the reality of passing time very personal: “As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years . . . for soon [our life] is gone and we fly away” (v. 10). To paraphrase a popular modern proverb, “Life is short; then you fly.” Seventy or eighty years would have been a long, full life when Moses was writing, and yet in rela- tion to eternity it is a “watch in the night.” But even though Moses justifiably laments the brevity of life with these words, don’t miss that he’s also building his case for why we need to take life seriously.

Moses’ meditation on the fleeting nature of life leads naturally, yet perhaps a bit surprisingly, into his life-affirming request of God: “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (v. 12). Like David, Moses is declaring by way of his prayer the importance of knowing the end from the beginning, of embark- ing on the journey of life with the destination in mind. The Hebrew word for “to number” can also mean “to prepare,” so Moses might also be saying “teach us to prepare our days.” Or, to put the request in plain language, “Show us how to plan our lives so we can please You, Lord.” It’s not just about what to do or be; it’s also about who to become—a wise child of God.

Find more here:

The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ

By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Clay

Tea Time Tuesday: Learning to Die to Self as the Key to a Peaceful Life

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“Tea should be taken in solitude.” C. S. Lewis

I have come to depend on solitude, a time alone, a simple time of centering myself to stay alive in a very demanding life. This particular tea cup, one of the original Miss Tea Cups, has accompanied me through literally years of seasons—even to the adult years of my children and all that their lives entail. Solitude is a gift where we may meet with God, unburden ourselves, find strength and wisdom for our next steps. I pull away, I seek answers, rest, wisdom, peace of mind, a way forward.

This week, I have been pondering death and dying to self. If only I had known that was the secret to my life of worship—giving up my rights, pouring out my life, choosing to serve others as Christ did, and living into the joy of the Holy Spirit surging through my life to bring His light and love to bear.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

Luke 9:24-25

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?

I wish I had understood the value of dying to myself as a young woman. I just kept thinking if I found the right planner, the right formula, I could control or tame life. But when I gave up my expectations, my rights, my demands, I found peace and a spirit of rest. I am still learning. Join me in my tea time podcast today and share your thoughts with me.

Learning How to Die by Jon Foreman

She said, "Friend,
All along-
Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to laugh not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to...
Die
Die
I've been learning how to die."

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• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Be "For" Your People!

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Be for  Your Child

Here we are checking on the Queen in Buckingham Palace! What a whirlwind my life has been in the past few days. Speaking at a small, private retreat-getaway of mums here in Oxford was challenging and encouraging for me. Then, I literally ran for about 15 minutes to catch a train to London where I ran all over London with Joy, as Nathan and Keelia flew over from America. Walking miles all over our favorite places in London filled our day, and finally, we are back in our home in Oxford to celebrate ten days of life together as “the Clarksons.”

One of the things it has caused me to ponder, again, is how important it is for all of us and especially our children to have a champion for them, to affirm their uniqueness, to give space for them to live fully into their own adult decisions and to continue, as Christ does to us, affirming and loving them as they are.

A favorite verse of my mother when I was a little girl was, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NIV, emphasis added).

To be for someone means that you are their advocate and you will support them, believe in their dreams, and want the best for them. There are endless ways to show love and to provide a foundational championing of our children. The essence of this kind of love is actually a comprehensive understanding of all the areas of love: “I am for you.” “I am your advocate.” “I will believe forward into the good things I can imagine for your life.” “You can count on me.” “I will choose to believe the best about you and help you grow and find support your whole life.”

Being “for” someone does not mean that they will always exhibit the kind of behavior or character we deem admirable. But it is looking at our children with unconditional love and cultivating eyes that see the possibilities in the midst of the “terrible twos” of toddlers or hormonal teen years.

Now that my children are all full-fledged adults with their own life demands, I find I still play the role of encourager, being for them in a world that challenges their faith, morality, and ideals. We become the voice of God’s Spirit as we encourage them and help them continue to find that embracing ideals is worth the cost. We are companions of the grace of God.

Bearing patiently with one another, assuming the best, persevering in love is the key to continuing to trust. And asking for forgiveness and being humble is a part of any good relationship.

As we evaluate how to love our children and students well, we must ask ourselves, “Do they believe and feel I have their best interests in mind, or do they think I have my own agenda for them?” “Do they understand that even though they struggle, I am here to help them succeed?” “Is their heart open􏰝to my instruction, or is there a wedge of resistance that I need to figure out and address?”

In the end, laying down our lives to love those we seek to influence will open the pathways of their hearts and minds to growth, development, and mental and spiritual strength. The most intelligent instructor in the world becomes a noisy gong or clanging symbol to the mind of a child if there is not love present in the relationship. But the ones who purposefully and intentionally lay down their lives to do the hard work of loving and winning hearts will find a pathway to influencing their children for a lifetime.

What is Home, Anyway?

Early in the life of our family, I realized … In order to build a vibrant, rich, lifegiving home, I needed to clarify my vision and construct a detailed plan for our own unique community called “Clarkson.” As I pondered what I wanted my home to become, I jotted down thoughts in my journal. These became the essence of the Clarkson blueprint, my vision for what home is and should be:

• Home is the haven of inspiration where the art of life is expressed and taught. Color is strewn into every corner; delectable food is tasted; art, books, and other sources of beauty are strategically placed throughout its rooms and walls. Nature is observed from each window—flowers, plants, rocks, shells. The works of the Master Artist speak of the work of His hands.

• Home is the place where the whispers of God’s love are heard regularly. The touch of His hands is given intentionally throughout the day, and His words of encouragement and affirmation lay the foundation of loving relationships.

• Home is the place where stories of heroism, sacrifice, love, and redemption are heard, embraced, and celebrated. These shape the dreams of the souls who live there.

• Home is a place of ministry. Redeeming words, thoughts, and actions are shared and taught, the wisdom and instruction of God is passed along, and God’s love is offered to all who come under its influence.

  What is home to you? What do these ideas spark in your own heart as you think about your family culture?

The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming

By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Sarah

Joy: A Spiritual Discipline to Cultivate

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Teatime habits, mornings of quiet and contemplation, fills the soul with faith, courage, inspiration to live life well and purposefully. SBC

After a week of adventures and many walks through thousands of blooming flowers and trees gave me a lift—spring is on its way. Miss tea cup and I drank in all the sublime beauty and she wanted to get as close as possible to smell the flowers all around. Can you spot her?

Our world is very troubled now and has been for a long time. Yet, I have learned that cultivating joy, being a light bearer is a spiritual discipline to practice, employ in the demands of every day life. It is natural to listen to the voices of gloom and doom, it is supernatural—Holy Spirit filled—to live a life of hope and serving others in the hope we find in Christ.

Trips with friends, my children, meetings, deadlines filled my days but I also made time to cultivate memories and to pass on encouragement to several around me. As I practice encouragement, my own soul is lifted.

This week I interview a friend whose life is given to encouraging and inspiring others: Liz Hoare, a tutor at Wycliffe Hall here in Oxford. You will be so encouraged!

I also speak of books for this time that speak of journeys through times of war that might spark the right kind of conversations with your older children. (The Hiding Place and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Raspberries with Lemon Yoghurt, whip cream and a drizzle of honey is amazing.

There are songs, pondering, all sorts of tales and encouragement this week. Enjoy a few refreshing moments and listen. I wish you peace in your heart this week.

Remember: "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

- Corrie Ten Boom

Celebrating Life in the Everyday

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Last Monday found me a bit bleary-eyed as I approached my new week. A full weekend of company before that left me catching my breath, my podcasts, blog posts deadlines, hosting my weekly Bible study and getting it set up, (setting up chairs for the 20ish people in my small living room, preparing refreshments, and the study!), publishing deadlines looming), meals, meetings, children, Clay, a very full plate.

But Joy, who had also just come back from a 5 day journey the night before, texted and said, “We need to fit in our daffodil visit to London—you know we have done it for 4 years in a row. We need to make it a commitment and just go! How about tomorrow?”

Daffodils in the UK are a long tradition not to be missed—countless thousands and thousands on road sides, in parks, along walls, in church years—said to have been started by Roman soldiers over 1000 years ago.

Some things are more important than all the piles of “to do’s.” It wasn’t just the daffodils that called. It was the time my very precious daughter and I would invest in one another’s lives, talking, making memories, giving value to our friendship, having the chance to be deeply involved in one another’s lives that drove me to put everything aside for one day and to make the spontaneous commitment.

A close relationship with all of my children, and the privilege of being able to love and influence them has come from making thousands of such choices—relationship over responsibility. Being sure to make time for the relationship intentionally, placing real live commitments to be together in the calendar—in the rhythms of life.

Jesus chose to live with his disciples, walk with them over the dusty roads, eat meals with them, sleep with them, train and take them with him in order to pass on a legacy of faith. He would weave and exhibit servant leadership in front of them with them as eyewitnesses to all the mundane and normal, daily interactions of his life. But he also made time to talk with them, meet with them, encourage them—his relationship came out of a resolve to be intentionally involved day in day out. And these were the ones who, as acts says, “turned the world upside down.”

So, Joy and I took time to go to Green Park, St. James Park, to wander, to talk, to drink our coffees and share deep thoughts and incidental every day occurrences. I may forget those days when I washed one more dish, did one more duty, complete one more chore. But I will not forget the day we made one another a priority and made a forever memory, cherished our friendship amidst busy life.

As we were walking through the park, and delighted in the first warm-enough day to be outside, we joined hundreds of others who had made the same decision. She gave me one of her ear buds, while she stuffed the other into her ear and we listened to this delightful song together as we walked through the parks doing just what the song said. You must take a listen:

London in the Spring

Oh, London in the spring
Makes me feel so lucky I'm alive
I've got love to give
I've got my whole life to live

Walking through the park
Sunshine pours like honey through the trees
I believe I'm coming home

Well, some people tell me
I've better things to do
And more productive ways that
I could spend my time

But I'm not sure I agree
It often seems to me, we spend our lives
Talking foolish, running blind
And we forget how to enjoy the simple things
Like walking through London in the spring

Artist: Passenger

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• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!