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Once, I was feeling a bit unseen, underappreciated, and had a ridiculous notion—I wonder how many meals I had served over my 41 1/2 years of marriage. I only considered a small portion of all the countless meals we served to other families, Bible studies, special dinners, but also family meals, and came up with over 200,000 meals in my home! That’s a lot of dirty dishes to conquer.
I never knew how long motherhood would be or what it would cost me or if I could complete it well. And I am not a naturally unselfish person—and was never trained for what I ended up doing. If someone said, “I want you to work a job that will require 24/7 for over 40 years, you will be underpaid, underappreciated, you will educate 4 children, have endless messes, hard work, sometimes loved and admired, sometimes the recipient of unjust criticism and anger—and it will be the most important work ever done in history…” I would not have known what they were talking about.
I had no idea what motherhood would cost me in time, heart, actual physical work, creativity, love, instruction and so much more. And yet, I am old enough, seasoned through the many years to be able to say it is the most profound work I have ever undertaken—to shape real human beings in faith, virtue and purpose in life over days, months, years and decades.
I am grateful for the example of Jesus, who shows us over and over again as we read of the way He interacted with His disciples that these little things... these unending, sometimes tiresome tasks moms face day after day... they can become holy actions as we offer them to Him. Every time we serve our children, we invest in them, building bridges from our hearts to theirs, helping their souls understand the love and grace of God.
As I look to the hearts of my own children, even as adults, I realize my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time—staying up late at night for conversations, watching movies and discussing them, my attention, my "soft-tickling," laying in bed with my sweet ones, listening to their hearts when I would rather be in bed—even when I am tired or have other "important" things on my mind—is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense.