All Relationships Are Fraught

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“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

-I Peter 4:8

All relationships are fraught. People are irritating. The demands of parenting and marriage and friendship are challenging. One of the most consistent ways we observe the fallenness of humans in our world is in their inability to love one another, to get along, to have peace and understanding. Our sin nature causes us to see the world and people from our own eyes, our own perspective. We justify our attitudes because we suppose we are right, even when we are imperfect.

This propensity to have conflict shows itself in war, marriage, parenting, friendship, work. One of the realities of this “fallen relationship” principle is that no natter how we try, no matter how kind we think we are being, we cannot please all people—or children or spouses or friends. If we are too quiet and introverted we will bring judgement from some. If we are too extraverted, we will surely be disliked by some. Try as I may, just being “me” bothers some people. And it is the same with you.

For this reason, it is helpful to understand that before you ever get to some people, they are already predisposed not to be loving, or to make the effort to reach out or to “like” you. It is a “them” problem—don’t take it on.

Yet, to love, in spite of other’s flaws, is truly a remarkable act of believers who allow the Holy Spirit to love others, in spite of or in whatever way they have offended or disappointed me.

“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” -Prov. 17:9

This is why as believers, we need to understand the principle of unconditional love. It is natural to disdain or criticize people—it is supernatural to love, to forgive, to be patient.

Paul reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind,”

The Holy Spirit teaches us little by little to practice gracious responses, to speak with a gentle voice, to heal broken relationships, to move forward in unconditional love.

Why do we pursue love, practice loving the unlovable, give grace?

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19 Jesus is our model for relationships.

Even on the cross, “and while being abusively insulted, He did not insult in return; while suffering, He did not threaten, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously,:” I Peter 2:23

We will never be perfect in love, but we practice love as a service of worship to God, because He tells us to, because He loves us even though we do not deserve it.

Today, practice love because you want to please the heart of Jesus. And know you are not alone if you have struggled with loving someone dear to you—that is natural. But He will teach you to love and that will show His reality to others in your life.