As I consider some of my most committed "love" relationships — Clay, who has stuck with me through thick and thin; a few close friends, who have loved and accepted me unconditionally for decades; my children, who are the closest of friends and beloved of my heart — I realize that it has been in my relationships with them that I have had the most joyful memories, the deepest intimate encounters, the greatest celebrations of life.

I have felt deeply loved and accepted in the common life experiences that have knit our souls together. And it all came through committed, "I will be loyal to you and love you no matter what" love.

Jesus said, "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you." How has he loved us? He gave up his throne in heaven and came to the earth as a simple, humble man. He lived and loved and served and healed and poured out his life and died on the cross to pay for our sins. So that becomes the standard for what he means when he says, "Love one another."

If our relationships are built around serving God and obeying Christ by laying down our lives for others, then our giving love will be about pleasing God — regardless of how the other person responds. Every relationship becomes meaningful in light of doing what God wants us to do — to love — so that our joy can be made full.

There is something very freeing about loving in this biblical way. I can always succeed. I can always be at peace no matter how the relationship goes. If I please Christ by laying down my life, then I have done what was expected of me.

Read more about this in Dancing with My Heavenly Father.