Crafting your Own Recipe of Family Culture part 1

Baking Day at my house

Apple spice bread, spinach quiches, Oatmeal Honey Wholewheat bread and Light as a Feather Dinner Rolls

Many years ago when Clay and I were first living in Vienna, I became interested in bread making. Though we loved the different choices of bread available in the local bakery, we really missed our American sandwich bread. The Europeon breads available for sandwiches, at the time, were either white-flour wonder type of bread, or very chewy rye or doughy whole grain bread. (I just returned from a trip to Vienna and found the variety to be much wider than when we first lived there many years ago!)We longed for a normal, soft wheat bread for our sandwiches.

The drive for familiar bread sent me to several cook books. I read many articles on bread, tried many recipes and started an adventure that turned me into a full-fledged baker. In our small neighborhood market, I could go and have my wheat ground fresh and then take my flour home to use for my bread. One of my fellow missionary friends had my favorite recipe, but I decided to start experimenting with it and added my own touches to our very own bread recipe. Oats, eggs and milk supposedly added to the bread’s lightness. I incorporated them. Honey was a preferred taste. Our children preferred the golden 86 wheat in recipes.

Over the years, I tried whole kernel breads, but found my family preferred not having seeds get stuck in their teeth! (Sarah and I love whole kernels all through our bread!) So I started another experiment—grinding millet, rye, brown rice, spelt and flax seed into fine powder and putting it into my bread, as well.

So making bread, whole grain rolls, pizza dough, herb-onion bread and dinner rolls and pancakes became our family favorites that evolved after years of experimenting, reading, and copying other good bakers. But in the end, my goal was to come up with what suited us. (Please don’t ask me if I give out my recipe—I get those requests all the time, but since I am an “add a little of this and a little of that” person, I don’t know how to come up with an exact recipe. I also use a Bosch, which not everyone has, so I have promised everyone that by the time my next book is finished (and will hopefully come out next spring,) I would perfect my recipe in such a way that others can try it. Promise!)

However, I have noticed that I have never seen anything like my recipe in the books I have searched. It is uniquely mine! As I was thinking about this, I was also thinking of how much scope there is for all sorts of recipes---spaghetti sauce, chocolate cakes, chile, etc., for a great variety of different things combined together, but still taste good! No one recipe is right----they are all different, and yet good to the taste to those who prefer them.

Similarly, every family will have a different flavor--a different recipe that, when cultivated and fine-tuned will be their own unique blend of a Family Culture. I fear that many women, in attempts to find the perfect formula or right rules of what is takes to make a great family, are subject to destroying the unique aroma and flavor their family was designed to enjoy. Trying to copy someone else's ways or preferences or exact practices just thwarts and denies the unique design, flavor, essence that will make your own family happy, robust and productive and can produce a tasteless mess.

More tomorrow!

The Peacemaking Couch

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

He always.......

gets his way, takes my toy, gets the biggest piece, makes my room messy

She never......

cleans up, does her share of the work, says nice things to me, helps me

No one understands me

Everyone criticizes me

I hate you------ooooooohhhhhh!

Sin means we fall short of God's holy standards-it means to be separated from His perfection because of our imperfection

and self-centered disposition.

And yet, scripture says that those who are peacemakers will be called sons of God.

They will be most like Him.

It cost everything for Him to make peace with us--His servant, humble, laying down his life heart made a bridge between us and Him.

And so those who lay down their lives, become servant leaders, humble themselves, will also bridge the gap.

I love what Peter said, he who knew how much he desperately needed and was healed by the peace making of Jesus.

He said, "Love covers a multitude of sin."

All of us are in great need of this sort of grace.

I have a close friend who designated a peacemaking couch in her home. When her children were arguing or fussing, she would read them scripture about making peace, using words to bless and forgiving and making peace.

Then she would sit them on the couch and say, "Neither of you may get up from the couch until you have made peace with one another, prayed, forgiven and can say that there is peace between you."

And so, their children learned that they were responsible to make peace with those with whom they were angry.

They learned a pattern for marriage, for work, for friendship.

All of us are pretty petty and selfish and angry from time to time, but if we all had a peace making couch and couldn't leave until we made up, we would have such sweet, grace-filled relationships and indeed we would have such a close resemblance to God, so as to be called sons of God.

Even my children, at this age, occasionally become so irritated at each other. We had a little session the other night of peace making--I don't tell them they have to sit there until they make up any more, as they are a little old for that.

But I bring them together and guide a peace-making discussion.

Is there anyone you need to bring to the peace-making couch?

Perhaps a husband who needs a warm cup of grace and life-giving words and forgiveness?

A child who is hormonal? Or two years old? or just being childish?

A friend who needs forgiveness? A parent?

A fellow believer?

Siblings who need to find a way to cultivate love and a pattern of grace?

Maybe today, peace could bring about an atmosphere of grace and heal and reflect His glory, to make this day a new beginning.

It has reminded me, this week, that another way I may worship and become more like Him is to determine that  peace-making is a focus of my life, and that as I cultivate it in my home, friendships, marriage, neighborhood, church, I will indeed reflect Him, and find His peace filling my soul and my home.

Peace of the Lord be with you. The Lord is near.

Personal Integrity

Jacapo Bassano  The Good Samaritan

Pondering my walk with God, searching my heart for attitudes that are not worthy of His love for me, seeking direction from His word, is a yearly foundational search of my heart.

We live in a world that, from the beginning, cares what people think. Seeking to keep up with the "Joneses" is age old. But scripture is so very clear that God wants our focus, our love, our heart to be on Him first and then our obedience to the very values of his heart.

Surrounded by a world that gives us permission to be self-centered, we glance at ourselves and all of our pictures on facebook, cell phones, listening for that little bing that says someone has thought of us---Hey, everybody, want to look at me and notice what I am doing and comment on my blog and give me higher numbers if I give things away and, and, and..........

We become our own idols and strive for recognition and affirmation. It is not wrong to desire to be loved and to belong. But Jesus meant for us to find our meaning in  our family, our community of believers, those we serve in our own day to day lives. We were meant tie our lives to flesh and blood people who we spend our lives to help, so that we can better understand Him, who spent all for our sakes.

In the story of the Good Samaritan, Jesus tells of the lives of those who could pontificate and argue the law and wear the robes of righteousness, and yet, he exposes their worthlessness to God by their heart of neglecting those who really needed redemption--the man caught by robbers, left for dead, beside the road.

But really, who has time to give to such a person--we have our appointments, our priorities, articles for blogs, our day-timers and schedules to keep.

"Just a minute, can't you see I am doing something important!" I ,I, I, .... the endless I and me, me, me..........

"Let not a wise man boast of His wisdom, let not a rich man boast of his riches, let not a mighty man boast of his might, but let him who boasts, boast of this, that He understands and knows me, for I delight in these things." Jeremiah

"He who keeps his life will lose it, but he who gives his life will find it."

And yet, as I read His words over and over again, I understand anew, it matters little what others think of me, if God is not at the center of my desire to live for His glory and the focus of my actions in serving others, as He did.

And so this week and really this summer, I am searching again to find, how I need to reorder my life to please Him, what is the work He has given me to do, how may I invest in real people with real needs, so that His loving touch will reach those in my culture.

What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?

And then, when I live in true integrity of following hard after Him, my children find the real him living in my home--not philosophy or curriculum or denomination or rules--the the real Christ who lays down His life, shepherds the sheep of his fold, the servant king who cares about real people.

True personal integrity comes from following hard after Him and obeying and loving obeying what He has called me to do.

What does integrity look like to you?

— Robert E. Quinn

What is our message?

God painted the sky for us as we were driving down the road......

Thousands of moms and dads are gathering in Arlington, Tx this weekend to hear lectures and seminars about how to disciple their children, how to build moral foundations, creating and environment of excellence as they seek the best options for educating their children. This is the destination for Clay and me where we will be speaking a number of times.

But what do I have to say? I still see sin and immaturity and selfishness in my life on a daily basis. A sink full of dishes still sends me into  irrational emotions. Never, not one day, have Clay and I been perfect.

Yet, my message is that the greatest work I have been given to do is to cherish Him, His kingdom, His message of redemption and to spread it as faithfully as I know how. It starts with our family and extends to the world.

My message is that the God who painted the sunset is the strength and wisdom that fills my paltry offerings of faith by seeking to do His kingdom work, takes my offering and makes it a supernatural work that will change lives and hearts for eternity. My basket of loaves and fish in His hands becomes enough.

I was talking to my children yesterday and said, "I don't feel adequate to speak to thousands of people most of the time because I have not found a formula that makes everything easy or that takes away the battle. But mostly, I just want to encourage."

Joy said, "But mom, we may not always do the dishes of pick up our stacks of stuff, but you have raised 4 children who want to change the world and bring His light into the world. That is your message--be true to the things that matter the most."

And so that will be my word this weekend. Grace, His strength, eternal issues, leave the rest behind and live in joy and peace. Selah.

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We all need to recognize that our choices have consequences. Please join us today at MomHeart Online and tell us what you think ... is your heart faithful? Or divided? Share your thoughts with us as we discuss chapter three in The Mission of Motherhood! While you're there, be sure to enter all of our wonderful Mother's Day giveaways. And by the way, have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. You are indeed the heroes of this generation. Bless each one of you!

*used blog 5/6/2021 Keeping your Child's Heart through the Teen Years--it starts when they are born!

Durnstein, Austria

Traveling is a sort of hobby with me and with our family. Starting out in missions so many years ago, and having our books in 6 languages, keeps us going internationally, and hopping from country to country.

However, when I have the privilege of choosing a place to travel that feels like home and suits my soul, I go back to Austria, a sort of second home to me. As I travel in many other countries and big cities, the evidence of American culture is all around me--I could almost be in any other American city--there are McDonald's everywhere, Apple stores, Kentucky Friend Chicken signs, IPhone ads, Starbucks--the draw of the material culture of America has been so powerful that I see its effect everywhere I go.

Yet, when I go to Austria, though some of those marketing ploys are obvious in places, Austria is yet little changed by the Western materialism, as its historical culture and values is stronger than the values that would be imposed upon it. In other words, Austria, with the hearts carved on wood, the mountain chalets and piles of wood for the wood-burning stoves, coffee cafes,the flowers at the tables with pristine white table cloths, the strong Austrian coffee in dainty, real porcelain cups, the small glass of water and the quiet cafes where people talk for hours, the cobblestone streets--the predictable order and clean streets and good service--so many things never change, and the strength of such stability is a comfort and strong balm to my soul.  The culture has retained its strength.

(As an aside, Sarah and I had coffee out every afternoon we were in Austria and I only saw two people who had cell phones out or ipads or computers, during the whole time we were there--At every other cafe people talked, eyeball to eyeball and just shared one another's company--it was not a gathering of machines, but personal friends sharing minds and hearts.There was a blatant lack of media present in the cafes--though, of course, all use their cell phones and computers elsewhere.)

How does this apply to Family culture? The culture of the world--the music, movies, moral values or lack thereof, sexual revolution calls out to our children every day. Teenagers must grow into adults and learn to own their lives and values and convictions in order to be strong healthy adults. And the cultural impact of cell phones, facebook and websites adds a magnetism to the cultural values of teens and young adults that would draw their hearts away from the spiritual and moral underpinnings of home and family and church.

What to do? First, we must recognize that the desire for teens to have friends is healthy and from God and it is normal and good for our children to want community. Teens  are on the pathway of growing into adults so that they can form their own families eventually, and find a living and live their own life story. So how do we retain their hearts throughout their lives?

We make our own family culture and traditions and community and home pleasure stronger, more powerful and more fun, and more satisfying, than that of the world culture that is calling out to them. Personal relationship must be cultivated through all the traditions--not dependency on time-filling media at the center, but focussed, deep relationships that say, "I love you. I know you. I validate you. I am listening to you and I care for your thoughts and dreams."

That is the lesson I learned in Austria. Even as the Austrian culture has maintained most of its cultural values and strength against the onslaught of America's influence, so our children can retain our family cultures if we make them stronger influences than the world.

Pleasure, deep love and close friendship is at the center of life.

Family culture is comprised of the rhythms of life kept throughout the weeks; (for us it is a daily tea, coffee or hot chocolate afternoon time, devotions in the morning, hot  candlelight dinner together each night,  piles of book baskets and magazines everywhere, loud, daily discussions on every topic, back scratches, homemade treats always awaiting them and their friends in our home, all kinds of friends greeted and intentionally welcomed, Sunday morning feast, Saturday night pizza and movie every week; me making hot breakfast and homemade bread and music every morning, candlelight on tables, read alouds together evenings, game nights, seasonal parties and treasure hunts and car and scavenger hunts for teens); the traditions we keep on holidays, (spoiling the children on birthdays--the morning cinnamon rolls, family affirming and pouring words of life and appreciation and prayers on birthdays, shepherd's meal on Christmas, feast on Thanksgiving, monthly dinners in our home with close family friends, fireworks and lake gatherings on 4th of July, family day and hikes every year, every month no matter what dinners with our history group;  the activities we invest in in momentous occasions--(whole family support for recitals, speech tournaments, awards ceremonies, sports activities, rite of passage teen dinner, sending off graduation ceremony at 16 with the closest of family and friends, girl's club, boy's outings each week, working side by side in national conferences for 16 years as a family project).

Family culture is built from the time they are born into your home--the life that is crafted, takes years to perfect, but builds strong roots.

The point is, we have so much fun and life going on in our home and so many invisible threads from our hearts to our children's, that the pull of home and the deep connections and friendships we share with our children is a stronger pull than that of the culture that would seek to draw them. Our family culture, values and commitment is much stronger and more satisfying to their souls than the lure of their culture. Our ties to each other are strong.

This kind of culture takes a lot of work, investment of time and emotional care, and creativity, and yet, it is a work of art for the mom who would bring life, beauty, love, grace-giving atmosphere into the warp and woof of the fiber of her home, so that every day brings life and gives life to the heart mind and soul. There are, of course, seasons when traditions fall by the wayside, as life happens and emergencies and exhaustion can, for a time, take our rhythms away. Yet, if the rhythms are established deeply, they are always there, just below the surface. I have had to cut back on public commitments and answering email and comments so often over the years, because I know that family culture cannot be dropped, ever, if I am to retain the souls of my children at home, with the Lord, close to our hearts. This is the work of heaven and home.

To ignore the pull and draw of the world, is to ignore the battle strategy of Satan. So we must outwit him and be stronger in our own battle plan. Each child is different and does not conform to the family culture without the foundation of love. Yet, if we are to hold hearts faithful, we must aim intentionally and work diligently and wisely to be used by the Holy Spirit to keep their hearts strong, protected and sure.

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This week, in celebration of Mother's Day, we have several giveaways to moms at Momheart.org!

Please come by and celebrate with us and tell your friends, too.

The Daily Miracle

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God, 2 Cor. 4: 7

All miracles Begin with a heart that is willing to believe God for the impossible, 

to engage one's heart in worshipping him by believing He is listening, 

that He will act, 

and then waiting for his perfect timing.

Without faith it is impossible to please God

The miracle today is that He is present, alive and blowing through the moments of our days--seeking someone to heal, someone to redeem, someone to extend redeeming love--and it will all happen through mere humans, those whose feet are made of clay--today, He is alive because He will live through me.

All of us, different skills, shapes, personalities, liabilities, stories--all here for a short few years to faithfully live out a miracle.

Jesus is in the world today, this moment.

His presence invades the things held fast to this earth, His love permeates the places of the lonely, His joy fills the air--

How? Through me--He is in me and wants to live through me to bring the miracle of Him to this world, through a limited earthly jar of clay.

We have this treasure-=invaluable treasure of God in me--today. 

How will I honor this vast miracle of Him in me.

Today--who needs me to give something that He would give--

perhaps some money needed; time given, a baby held so a mom can sleep.

What do I have in me today that His spirit would give--to those present in my life?

Today, someone needs his words of encouragement, hope--who is the person He would love through me?

Someone needs a cup of cold water, a sandwich made, a cup of tea served, an eye to eye encounter that says, "You are of great value--you are not condemned. I love you, He loves you."

To allow myself to be wrapped up in just myself, to close the power of HIm through me by being consumed with my own needs inhibits His ability to work through me--to bless through me.

We can suffocate His presence in us by not trusting Him to meet our needs right where we are--to forget ourselves, and to think of those who need His touch through us today--that is what will give life to our own soul--this service of worship by bowing down our hearts and saying, "This day is yours, for you--live through me, speak through me, serve through me--that is where we will find the joy and strength and power bubbling up and filling our own soul--

in the laying down of us and the submitting to Him in and through us.

Will my children, my husband, my friends, see the reality if Jesus today, because I allowed Him to be alive through me--all the moments of my day--because He, my treasure is giving light through me? This is how I give them the reality of Jesus.

You have this day to ponder just how He would live thorough you. You will never have this day again to invest--to live, to be available to Him through you.

When you close this day, in what way will you have brought Him to bear in your world, a work that will live faithfully through all eternity?

*used blog 5/13/2021 Thinking out of the box always upsets people, but leads us to true freedom and Real Life

Holy--to be set apart, not conforming to the world, but being transformed--by the wild and uncontainable God and following His lead, whatever path it takes.......

How happy I am to have Sarah home for my Saturday morning trek to my little French cafe.

We had far too much to catch up on and talked and talked and talked. A breath of fresh air to my soul to be with her. Our family tends to think out of the box--we discuss everything and challenge all Christian thought and live wildly, hysterically, celebrating-ly, with feasts and lots of freedom, within the walls of our home. I think it is genetic in our family.

My children have all said, "I wonder what people would think if they really knew what we believed and how we lived, that we are pretty out of the box and free to enjoy life."

Hmmmmm--so Christians aren't supposed to have too much fun or live wildly or freely--or question supposed Christian authorities--or celebrate life too much or live free from condemnation and guilt?

One of us posed the question this morning, "Wouldn't it be great some day if we didn't care what people thought?

A hazard of living in the public eye, I suppose.

But, I do love to move beyond the "expectations" and figure out what really is authentic in life, what really matters, how to experience the joy we were designed to know, every day, and to see the God that is not a tame lion--

So, do any of you like living out of the box of legalism, expectations, condemnation, rules, peer pressure, or feared criticism?

Hmmmm Jesus pretty much upset those who lived in the box of his day--as a matter of fact, he got crucified for being out of the box, and not fitting in with the "leaders."

Just saying I am thinking about this today.............

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And more,...,

 I keep coming back to this concept. I meet so few people, that when I am with them, their influence makes me  want to love God  more, be more idealistic, live more by wild faith and life-sacrificing love.

And yet I find myself amidst  so many who are overloaded with the mundane tasks, feeling bored, dead of soul...

When the life of Jesus is in our midst, there is a palpable crackle in the air, a sparkle to the lights and shadows of His dance amongst us.

Imagine--the creator of the universe--the one who played games with galaxies and atoms, romantic love and sunsets--He in our midst.

And yet, most people I know, including me so much of the time, live as though their feet are tied to the ground by heavy loads of duty, works, "shoulds", guilt and worry and sighing, comparing, inadequacy,boredom through the days.

He did not create us to live in such a way. He came to give life--and life abundantly.The joy of the Lord is to be our strength--and yet--what have the voices of this world done to our joy?

What have the messages of today's church done to mount "should do's", measuring righteousness by the boxes of theology instead of by the people we love and those we serve a cup of cold water or share our coats with;

caused us to measure our self-worth by the outside appearance,  instead of the inner glory of the heart?

The "How to's" instead of lessons in humility and redeeming the lost? The accomplishment instead of the faith exhibited? Who in your life points you,  passionately, irresistibly into the arms of a loving God, a gentle shepherd, a compassionate Father, an interesting artist, to show us the God  who longs for us to live, celebrate life, exist above the present mundane and to perceive the invisible life of the Kingdom He is shaping through us for eternity.

Is it any wonder when college students lose their faith, because Christianity has been for them a list of moral rules that do not captivate imagination or stir hearts  that long to find purpose and to be a part of a great cause?

A laying on of guilt? A living by works? When it is He--Jesus--the Life--that we were to be living graphically, incarnationally, realistically in our home by relentlessly pursuing His love in our actions? His truth? His excellent and deeply fulfilling plan for our lives?

Knowing Him should create in us a powerful sense of life, excellence, expectancy from a heart filled with faith, love and anticipation.

So, I ask you today--are you finding deep fulfillment and a bubbling up of love from deep within? A feeling of heaven meeting earth in your home right where you are today? Are you sensing the pleasure of God as you see the color of spring? The beauty surrounding the moments of your life?

It is only in pursuing Him, the Life that coming into the world, enlightens every man--not rules or laws or formula or morality---but the Person--who has so very much more to offer those of us who would leave all behind, and sell all that we have to grasp and hold fast to the pearl of great price.

But, to find Him and to live vibrantly in the reality of His ways and His presence, requires living out of the box.

So, how about you? In the box or out?

A Little Boy who has Superman in his Heart

Tales for future Heros #1

Superman Nathan

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Nathan did not come with an instruction book. He did not sleep through the night until he was 4 years old. His little body seemed agitated. His spunky personality, strong-willed heart presented challenges at almost every point. Nathan helped me to become a prayer warrior because I spent so much time asking God for wisdom, insight and help. And so God showed me his heart and helped me to see the plans He had for Nathan to grow up in to a man who would be noble, true and good. And so I chose stories that would give a foundation to his soul that cooperated with the desires of His heart. And here is his perspective.

It ends up, Nathan is a kindred spirit--a dreamer, an idealist, one who wants to bring his messages to bear in the world--and that is why he was out of the box, because God made him so.

Here is his side of the story.

As a young ADHD boy, I had a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.

Much less sitting still at all.

So reading long books for hours on end, seemed about as possible as flying to my eight year old mind, maybe even less so, being that I considered myself a future Superman.

But, my wise mother, while knowing how her son worked, also knew the value of good stories in my life. So, she found a way to work within my limitations and find a way for me to ingest the stories that would end up shaping me, while simultaneously doing it in a way I didn’t feel like I was going to explode.

Everyday I would pull out the pad of paper and colored pens she had bought me while she would begin reading aloud to me. It was my task to create the pictures for the story unfolding, I took my job very seriously and had no idea that my love of heros and righteousness was being made. I grew to love and look forward to these times, and as I look back even now at 23 years old, I can see what a deep impact they had on my life.

Boys are made to be hero’s and warriors, we are made to look at great men and emulate their actions. Being a great MOB, my mom knew how vital it was to give me good pictures of what real men/heros looked like.

So today I would love to share with you some of the books/stories that have had the biggest impact on my life.

Lets dive into the first edition list of the reads that shaped me, that just might have an eternal impact on your young man in training.

1. Hero Tales: Oh my goodness! What a series packed with substance and inspiring messages. I think what I loved so much about this set of books, is that the stories were about REAL people in history who led amazing God honoring lives. As a young man it was immensely important to me to not just hear good stories with morals, but good stories about actual people who fought for goodness and chose to live a life worthy of being called heroic. I loved that they weren’t some fictional character, but rather these were real heros confronted with real problems, making real choices, and living REAL lives worthy of emulation .

2. Catherine Voss Bible: I can remember every morning for the better half of my life, waking up, walking downstairs and sitting down to listen to one or both of my parents read the novelized version of the entire Bible. It was something I looked forward to my entire childhood and something that has never left me. It was the first time I can remember the Bible and the stories in it coming alive. To this day, the way I know most of the random and lesser known stories in the Bible, is not through heavy study guides and personal study, but rather through a childhood of listening to this awesome book.

3. God’s Smuggler: This is the true story of a wayward boy, growing up to be one of the most influential missionaries and bible smugglers in the entire world. It’s the tale of Brother Andrew, a man who eventually learned what an adventurous and amazing life you can have once you make the choice to follow Jesus. I ended up reading the book myself again after it had been read to me. It inspired me to think about my life and what it could look like if I started even at my young age, making choices on faith in God.

4. Narnia Some of the most enchanting but poignant books I have ever had the pleasure to read. I’m sure you have heard of them, but if you haven’t already taken the dive, I highly encourage you to. As a young boy, these books gave me an entire world to be apart of, and a story to be engaged with. They simultaneously showed parallels between the christian walk, God, and my understanding of this world, like no other books have.

It has all the markings of one of THE best fantasies series inviting readers to become emerged. And once you are, you are unable to ignore the beauty of the allegories it holds.

5. The Kingdom Series This series is one of the groupings of books I look back most fondly on. In the vein of Narnia, but even more allegorical and understood by a border age group, these books are the stories and happenings inside the King’s Kingdom.

Each page is beautifully written with descriptive words and beautiful pictures unfolding into a beautiful allegory per chapter. Simple enough for a seven year old to understand but captivating for a 77 year old to be swept away.

My favorite chapter was always the one about the juggler who juggled to a different beat than all of the other dancers and performers and musicians in the kingdom.

There you have it! I could go on forever writing about the books that shaped (and continue to shape) who I am, but I hope that these first five of my favorite reads will help you on the journey to finding the stories and tales that will inspire, teach, and shape the young man in your life.

-Nathan

Question: What are some of your favorite character-shaping books for boys?

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Nathan started a fundraiser – click to help him save the world and get your future heros involved no matter how old they are.

Nathan John Clarkson’s Give a Cup of Cold Water

Read more of Nathan’s writing at his web-journal

www.WisdomChasers.com

This article was displayed on the wonderful blog of

The Mob Society

by two sweet, talented friends:

Erin (

Home with the Boys

) and Brooke McGlothlin (

A Life in Need of Change

) have created an amazing community just for you.

and you will love seeing this because it is especially for Mothers of Boys!

*used Blog 5/27/2021 Motherhood: Beautiful by Design

Design creates culture. Culture shapes values. Values determine the future.

— Robert L. Peters

While traveling in Vienna the past few weeks, I was struck by the beauty and quality of design in almost all of the buildings downtown. Each building was constructed with an elaborate plan, that not only considered structural strength, but also beauty and detailed design that validated the skill and craftsmanship of the architect.

Our modern day homes lack the craftsmanship and artistic skill of historical buildings that were built to last for centuries. And so the pragmatic and common place has swallowed up the art, beauty and strength of the design of a dwelling crafted for beauty and visual design as well as structural strength and longevity.

Similarly, while walking the streets of Vienna, I was struck with how much we have lost the value for the beauty of God's original design for home and family. We have replaced the purpose, beauty and meaning of family, home and motherhood with the common and demeaning value our current culture has placed, by  devaluing of theoriginal purpose and beauty of family and home. And so we are not always even aware of what we have lost because we lack a perspective or memory  of the beauty of the original design and what God intended it to be.

When God created the heavens and the earth, he created it with minute and detailed intricacy and order. There was color and form and beauty woven in every aspect of His creation, as an expression of His own life art.

The pinnacle of creation, though,  was crafting man and woman in His image. And with this image, and relationships amongst those who would be his children, sharing His image, he created order and beauty within the structure of relationships called a family--a father, a mother, and children, and generations of family connections.

God's purpose in giving order and structure to these relationships was to provide a community of security, comfort, pleasure, inspiration, purpose and belonging. When children are born into families where the structure is intact, there is beauty, strength, health and moral and educational strength. Family was the perfect design before the fall, before there was any sin in the world.

Mother was the first name of the woman. Mother, by its very nature, embraces the giving of life to another outside of herself--a real live human being whose life will have implication for all of eternity. Motherhood requires accepting children as a gift, and giving them life--both spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and moral--is the greatest civilizing and most beautiful work a mother can perform. And when she skillfully builds a soul, by taking the time to give structure, beauty, excellence to the life of her children, their souls will emerge with the design, the very imprint of God's image and capacity for excellence in their lives.

If we have lost the imagination of how beautiful and meaningful motherhood and family was designed by God to be, we will lose the value and ability to reconstruct the beauty of God's original design and settle for something much less.

And so that is why we must return to the original design of motherhood and family. We must get into the heart of God's design if we are to manifest his purpose in relationship to our children, and value them appropriately, as God intended us to do.

http://youtu.be/Ry24qr6gNtw

Join me today at momheart.org for a vlog message from me and  the continued study of Chapter 2 of Mission of Motherhood: Beautiful by Design

Beauty and Mess: seeing it with new eyes

 

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox." Prov. 14:4

I am sitting in my little quiet time chair with a cup of strong Austrian coffee in hand. From my second story window, I look out on the tops of countless pine trees with the Rocky Mountain speeking through, and a sky full of wispy clouds slowly moving by. In every home we live in, I choose windows that look out on the most beautiful natural scene, so that I can have some of His life-stuff to bring peace and quiet to my soul each morning as I meet with Him.

In front of me is a pile of books scattered over a coffee table. There is also a couch pillow thrown onto the floor, a couple of pairs of shoes left where they were taken off, a wilting potted plant in desperate need of water, some child’s abandoned sweat shirt, and a half-eaten candy bar. And this is just the eight feet in front of my chair!

The rest of the house is much the same-- life messes in the midst of order and beauty. As the proverb says, “Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean.” I comfort myself daily with the fact that I have six or seven oxen living in my home most of the time, and thus my stalls are not always clean, but my house is full. My world is always a mixture of beauty and mess, order and piles of things not yet subdued into order.

Sometimes the circumstances of life are like our home--messes and joys, fears and blessings all in the same breath.

But it is what we see and how we perceive what is happening that will determine our comfort or our despair.

I have purposed daily to choose to enjoy the beauty of the treasures He has placed in my path, because when I look for His fingerprints and whispers amidst the messes, my heart changes and begins often to sing with the rhythms and chords He has placed there.

This week, I am enjoying the tulips my next door neighbor’s put in a jar on my front porch in contrast to piles and piles of snow, and seeing the blossoms on the trees, amidst the ice that give a promise of the life of spring that is around the corner. This habit of changing my way of seeing came when God gently intervened one day in a moment of my own anguish and despair.

God interjected a life application many years ago, when I was struggling with language in a foreign country, loneliness, disappointments, and inability to control almost any area of my life--you might say I was in a life-mess.

Many years ago in the midst of another possible miscarriage, I was sitting by a window in little mountain town in Austria. I was all alone because Clay and his mom, who was visiting from America, had gone to look at some little shops. We were staying at a tiny lake-side Inn in an obscure alpine village. Unexpectedly, just after they had left me to rest by myself in the room, I had begun to bleed, again, and was about 5 months along in my pregnancy.There was no one to talk to, no one to ask for help.

Fear gripped my heart, as I knew we were hours away from a hospital and my German was not good enough to explain what was happening to me! Tears flowed from an invisible inner spring, and I begged God, from the anguish of my heart to please, please let me carry this child to full term. All of the struggles of the last few months seemed to flood through my anguished soul.

Just then, a little sparrow hopped up on my window sill  where I was looking out as I prayed, and began to chirp, as though it was singing directly to me. I was not more than a foot away from the tiny creature.  It stayed there for several minutes and hopped closer and closer to the edge where I was looking out, an it appeared the fledgling birdie was  staring at my heart through the shiny brown glass eyes and literally chirping and singing wildly to encourage me.

What a sweet, delicate fuzzy ball of delight—singing its heart out with no one to applaud or respond, except for me. It was as though God was saying to me, “I am listening. I see the birds on a thousand hills, not one falls to the ground without my full attention. This little one is here to remind you that I see you and hear your heart's cry.I love you and am with you! Do not fear. Leave your broken heart with me.”

I didn’t know what would happen, but suddenly, a peace blanketed my sore heart. I knew that God, who is love, was with me and would be with me in whatever happened. It was as though an angel, in the form of a tiny bird,  had visited and given me His deep, soothing comfort.

It was the last time, in that pregnancy, that I bled. The pregnancy delightfully turned out to be Sarah, my first born, and now best of friends and a bigger blessing to my whole life than I ever could have imagined then.

From that moment, I decided to take notice of birds who sing—to believe that they are especially praising God, agents of his hope for me. I see them also as a personal reminder from God that He is present, every day, all the time--here with me. Often on my walks when I am pouring out my dark heart to God, a bird hops or sings along my trail and I am reminded that God is there— with me!

Now, I have birds sprinkled throughout my home--amidst the messes and art of my life--there to remind me of the song so many years ago from God's feather messenger.

We all have our own particular life and real messes, but even in the mess, God is there to redeem, to send His love, to show beauty around every corner. But, our eyes must be attuned to the beauty instead of focussing on the life-clutter--looking with faith and not with doubt, fear or despair.

Today, my prayer for you--and for me-- is that He bring the reality of His joy to you today in the midst of your order … and your messes, because He is with us to give us hope and comfort, always.

My birds that sit with me every morning in my living room, with my cup of tea and Bible time.