Someone Needs to Remind Moms of Their Freedom. Giveaways, too!

Want to win a spa/mentoring weekend with me and Sarah Mae?

Click here!

Sometimes, we all need to monkey around a little bit. So doesn't a spa weekend sound dreamy? Just a cup of tea in a lovely hotel lobby can help restore my soul and strengthen my heart to return to my children with more grace.

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

In other words, stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.

"And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17

 I once read an article that suggested something to this effect: Moms don't really need a break from their children. If you don't spend every moment with your children--if you have any desire to go away and be by yourself, even just occasionally--you are selfish.

These are the kinds of statements that create voices in our heads. "Oh no, I must not love my children because I am not doing life like the others who have written these articles."

I am practically connected to the hip with my children. We are very close. Yet, I am also an introvert, and if I didn' have some time to plan, think, read, and just be away to breathe, I would become more tense. So I had to figure out how to build "me" time into my schedule so that I could fill my own heart before my children drew from it once again. I even get up early to have my own cup of tea in silence and just to sit and "be" before life starts. Others stay up late.

Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I have no wish to step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women, making them feel guilty unnecessarily. Each woman has a different personality and different needs.

A wise woman manages her life so that she can live her ideals longer.

Motherhood is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women that they should not feel guilty for taking a break once in awhile when they are in need of some breathing room! Sometimes Clay would plan leaving me alone in my home a couple of  Saturdays a month so I could stay at home alone and just "be". I found that the kids loved being just with him, his spoiling of them, his input, a break from "just" mama.

We all want to be wonderful mothers and so statements like the one above come across as universal and sound wise-- but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times? Or is something else possible?"

Here's the truth I have lived and believe:

There is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind.

It says so right there in Galatians 5:1 ...

"It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."

Purposeful mothering is a beautiful thing. Moms are called to pour themselves out in servanthood and love in the context of their homes, as I shared in this video ...

He loves our intentional mothering and there is a great reward in it. Yet when it comes to the details, God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. We find ...

• No lists about exactly how to discipline a child, what sin or behavior requires discipline and which one is age related immaturity, how long to discipline, a list of misbehaviors with corresponding consequences, what to expect of boys, for instance.
• There is no rule book about what a mom should cook if she is really bringing health to her family.
• No chapter and verse to be quoted telling us exactly what music is acceptable and what music would lead a child astray.
• No single passage that describes what it really looks like to submit to every husband--since they are all different and have different preferences!
• No verse that says, "There is only one time a day to have a quiet time as God is more awake in the morning."
• Or, or, or ...

This is part of the reason SarahMae and I teamed up to write our new book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. There is so much in scripture about living by faith and trusting God for His direction. However, Paul and Jesus were both so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee; not putting heavy loads on people. We know that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity. Through much study and prayer I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my own heart. But there are many stories and a wide path of creativity that God blesses as we live by faith.

But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing has proven to me that it is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, because there was no such list! Rather it was a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom, seeking to reach their hearts and then living by faith and watching His grace unfold to each of us. Mostly it was about loving them and holding God's hand.  God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, if I will walk with Him.

There is great freedom to live your family story within your own personality, history, and imprint, as long as we are holding His hand, reading His word and living by faith!

************************************

$25 of Coffee or Target Yumminess!

Go to your local bookstore and take a picture of you with Desperate (you should buy it while you're there ;). Post that picture to your FB page/profile and then leave a comment on Sarah Mae's post today with the link to your FB page/profile. Everyone who does this will be entered to win a $25 Gift Certificate to either Starbucks or Target (winner's choice). There will be THREE winners!

Today's Giveaway! A Year of FREE Massages!

I am a new comer to massages and oh how they have changed my life.

Ahhhh! Wish I could enter!

The details...

• One year of free massages, once/month
• Once a winner is randomly chosen, a gift certificate will be given to you from Massage Envy or a local spa if you don't have a Massage Envy near you.
• This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only.

Enter the massage giveaway using the form below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Celebrating Desperate Launch! and Grand giveaways! Mentoring Monday

Spa/Mentoring Weekend

with Sally Clarkson & Sarah Mae!

Friendship and sharing life deeply with a kindred spirit is one of the gifts of life that God created to give us, as women, great pleasure.

Our hope is that as we launch Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, that we will spark a movement of women who will develop deep friendships, loving understanding and sharing of ideals and support for the great task of motherhood.

We have schemed together to provide some wonderful giveaways aimed at helping moms that you will love. I hope a number of you will be so very blessed.

I remember so well what it is like to feel Desperate, as Sarah Mae felt when we decide to write this book about our story.

Thanks for your help in this launch.

FREE for you, always:

• The Desperate Small Group Guide for Moms
• The No More Desperate Moms Resolution

Purchase five books this week:

Exclusive 5 X 7 Red Letter Art print (only available to those who purchase Desperate)

Value $19.99

A Mother's Love Art print

Value $16.00

• One free custom print from Red Letter Words (400 available)
• One free "Mother's Love" art print (unlimited)
• Desperate, a DVD Companion study (available in March)

You can purchase the book anywhere books are sold. See below for details on how to retrieve your free gifts. You do not have to lead a study to get the bonuses.

Purchase eight books this week (with the goal of leading a small group):

Exclusive Vintage Pearl necklace (only available to those who purchase Desperate)

Value $55

• One free custom print from Red Letter Words (400 available)
• One free "Mother's Love" art print (unlimited)
• One free custom Vintage Pearl necklace (50 available - SOLD OUT) Find other beautiful items from The Vintage Pearl here.
• Desperate, a DVD Companion study (available in March)

You can purchase the book anywhere books are sold. See below for details on how to retrieve your free gifts. You do not have to lead a study to get the bonuses.

Very Important if You Want to Receive Your Gifts!

In order to receive these free gifts, please email a copy of your receipt and your mailing address to desperatebook@thomasnelson.com.  This “Launch Week Giveaway” is running from 12:00am EST on 1/7/2013 to 11:59EST on 1/12/2013.  Your receipt must show the purchase of 5 or more copies of the book during this time period to receive your free gift.  Once your receipt has been reviewed, you will be sent an email confirmation and further details on the delivery of your gift.

Open to U.S. only. 

Today's Giveaway!

Every day this week we will have a giveaway for you to enter! Today's giveaway is...

A year of FREE house cleaning!!!!! 

The details:

• One year of free house cleaning (once/month) or 6 months of free house cleaning (twice/month) - your choice!
• Once a winner is randomly chosen, a gift certificate will be given to you from a local house-cleaning service.
• This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only.

Enter using the form below! a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

The place I feel the best is at home, hanging around with my peeps. I like walking in the woods or downtown with one of my friends or children. I like traveling and exploring where I am invisible but can imagine.

And of course having some kind of tea or coffee in hand, in a real mug or cup--not paper, please, makes the talking go better.

 Talking and just being with my sweet, old friends, with whom I can be almost 60, slowing down, all my faults and challenges known, but still loved because of all the years we have invested in each other's lives.

Having time to ponder and reflect and evaluate life away from the hustle and bustle is a dream and is the motive behind my little trips away.

I love to be invisible.

Today, my choice is that I will invest in the quiet, as my days filled with loudness stresses my center.

May you have some quietness and rest this weekend.

Please be blessed in the choices you make.

From Desperate to Hope--A process of Enlightenment

Monday, our new book will be launched. Words on a page that seek to bring hope and life and love to moms. I am so excited this morning about the possibilities of friendships being made, community being forged, women feeling loved.  But even for me, there is need for refueling, so that I can remember and cherish what it is all about.

It is 5:30 a.m. and I am up early sipping coffee in the lobby of a hotel near my home. Two days ago, Clay encouraged me to take a room so that I could work on messages for my conferences this year. With a house full of people all the time, food to cook, dishes to wash, conversations buzzing around, and the busyness of the holidays, I needed some time to center myself.

And yet, in the day and a half that I have been here, I have not gotten much accomplished. Even here, my sweet children have buzzed over to talk to me of life, decisions, had some tears, discussed love, jobs and people. My cell phone has buzzed incessantly with people having questions and needs for ministry, conferences, and for the launch coming on Monday.  Friends still need me. Clay has tasks for me to do. And of course, I had a different child come and stay with me each night because I do not really like to be alone in a hotel and my brain is dead at night anyway.

Joy came last night. "Mom, why did you and Dad get married to each other? What gives glue to your life?" "What is the essence of your message that drives your life?"

A little heavy for 10 at night, so I felt. There are moments when my brain is just empty and a flat line. But after a few hours of sleep, I awakened this morning early and my mind was just bubbling over from pondering her question and others she posed to me. I can't wait to have breakfast with her this morning to give her an answer.

Sometimes it is as though the Holy Spirit speaks to me best in the middle of the night when there are no other distractions or duties.

The scripture started flowing:

"Rule over the earth and subdue it." Genesis 1

"The wise woman builds her house, the foolish tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matt. 7:24-27

The more I pondered my purpose, the more my excitement grew once again, to live, write and speak to what I have been designed to do.

The evening before, I had been weary to the bone with having spent myself in a thousand ways over the past months. A thousand ways people and life had required my time. Don't we all have lists of people and life issues that drain us on a daily basis?

If we are serving  others and living purposefully, we will become tired because we are expending our energy generously on a regular basis. It is why God made nighttimes to sleep. And Sabbath rest to celebrate.  Because He knew we needed rest and He provided for us to be refueled.

And yet, if we think we are just checking off a list of "to do's" and just completing mundane tasks that will have to be repeated again and again,  we will not have the fire in our hearts to complete the job. It is just too much work. Too much giving of ourselves and expending our energy. An endless stream of things to be done and people who drain our lives. If motherhood is just about keeping a child alive, fed and dressed, then why not give them over to someone else to raise so that we can have our own lives back?

In remembering the why of our marriage, our life work, our love and commitment of family, my heart became energized once again for the multitudinous tasks.

What if this is the work that matters for history? What if our shaping souls will be our investment in the kingdom of God? And if the mothers who have babies do not take care for their children's well-being and souls, then what hope does the future have? All of this once again filled my mind.

^"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19

"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." 1 Corinthians 15:19

This labor of love that we diligently pursue is not about now. It is about investing in the kingdom of God, doing His work today, living our conviction that people have eternal value and that we are willing to be shepherds for their souls.

If there will be a resurrection, an accounting to God for our days and for our children--and there will; if He has entrusted us with this charge of raising our children for His glory--and He has; then we must complete our task with diligence. But we will only do so if we understand that some day, this story we are living will be told and our lives of faithfulness will be a testimony of our worship and belief in Him.

Our hope-- that is, our anchor--  is that our labor matters. Our hope is that our labor is not in vain. Our hope is that He sees us and has appointed us to steward the lives of little ones whose souls will have eternal impact.

If we connect to Him who is life, and listen to His words and admonition, and understand that we are about a work of the kingdom of God, our lives have reason for hope. We know that we are investing in eternity. We are shaping history. We are giving shelter and creating a place to teach wisdom, truth, and love in the stormy places of life.

Truth and purpose give us a reason to live this irrational life of giving, serving, exhausting ourselves for the sake of living a story. 

The difference between desperate and hope is that one life lacks meaning and is just filled with endless, meaningless work. The other life has the same amount of work, but is filled with the anticipation of working hand in hand with God for an eternal result that will truly shape and protect generations. This work fills a heart with the fire to live the impossible.

But, to be able to complete this great work, we need friends, people who care about our weariness and love us, women to live life with,

women who care enough to show us how and to pick us up when we fall.

DESPERATE: HOPE FOR THE MOM WHO NEEDS TO BREATHE--

COMING MONDAY, JANUARY 7--DON'T MISS OUT!

P.S. SarahMae and I are hosting a Twitter party that night at 9pm! Don't miss it--you can follow us @Sally_Clarkson and @SarahMae!

The Tension Between Ideals and Reality: Choosing Beauty Amidst it all!

Sarah's room, filled with mystery and treasure and beauty.

How encouraged I have been to see your many wonderful comments and blessed to see how many of you shared the video yesterday. I hope we can make more that will encourage you as a mom.

The video shared the ideals of motherhood and the beauty of our children. And yet, there are so many, many days when there are messes everywhere; deep weariness abounds; we would like to escape and feel guilty for it; and then become angry one more time when we promised ourselves we would be patient. At 59, I think, maybe when I am 60, I will become patient and loving all the time! So we exist to please the Lord and to inspire our children and then fall short of the very ideals we hope to attain.

Yet, I am convinced that Jesus is so very patient with us and wants us to lighten up a little. Even my own children have been the very source of His gentle love towards me. I thought I would share this little story with you, about a time in January several years ago, when God stopped me in my tracks and gave me perspective again. I pray you weary mamas will be refreshed soon and I wish all of you all a full time housekeeper!

My shoulders and neck were already aching from tension, as I felt the overwhelming burden pressing on my mind of all that it would take to get my home back in order, and of all the tasks that were looming large around me. Not to mention, I was so exhausted from all of the Christmas fun that I felt like I needed a one-woman vacation and about 15 hours of sleep just to begin to feel better.

Washing my piles of clothes and towels began the long list of chores, and I could already tell my mood was dangerously close to a spewing rage. When the soap had been measured into the washer, I grabbed a pile of clean shirts and ran upstairs in a huff to Sarah’s bedroom to find out when she was leaving for work and why it took so incredibly long for her to remember to get her laundry off the top of the dryer. I knocked on her door loudly, still catching my breath. Her muffled voice from the other side of the door calmly bade me enter, and I did so in a great hurry, feeling a need to keep up my momentum. But as I stumbled in, the sight of her stopped me dead in my tracks. I just stood there and, for an instant, was quiet.

As the first child, Sarah had borne almost as many burdens of the holidays as I. She had washed piles of dishes and helped me beyond what could reasonably be expected. So she must also be overwhelmed. Amid my own hurry and bustle to get the day started I had quite forgotten to spend any time in quiet. Surely with the holidays we’d had enough times to sit and be in beauty.

But apparently, Sarah didn’t think so. She was beginning her January in quite a different way, and I was magnetically drawn into her world. She sat in her maroon chair, regarding me quite serenely with a book in one hand and a pen in the other. Haunting piano music was playing through the room (I found out later that it was the soundtrack to the new Pride and Prejudice movie) and three tiny vanilla candles flickered in different spots around the room.

The unhurried beauty of the room was strongly present all around me, evidence of Sarah’s determination to make room for loveliness and serenity in her days, since all of us were weary to the bone from busyness, illness, too many people and too much activity. She had matted small prints and postcards from our trips and arranged them along her walls and in lines above the shelves that held her numerous and much-beloved books. A barely wilting Christmas rose stood in a tiny crystal vase on her windowsill, and there were pine branches still fragrant in a basket by the door.

A basket of cards and writing paper with her favorite pen sat next to her rolltop desk, guarded by the brightly painted eyes of her Matryoshka dolls. I noticed a new picture on her shelf too; a brightly sketched pair of birds, done by an artist she had just discovered in Canada. There was color, symmetry, and music, and everywhere I looked I was confronted with the richness of a soul made visible in the world it created--quite determined to enjoy this moment despite the rush. I felt stopped in my tracks by the sudden presence of this choice to begin the busy day in an instant of soul-beauty instead of frenzied worry and hurry. I felt I was somehow catching my mental breath.

“Hi, Mom,” she said, raising her eyebrows in a can-I-help-you sort of look. I waited a minute before replying, letting my pulse (if she only knew) return to normal. “Here’s your laundry,” I said slowly when my breath came back. In the presence of her room I didn’t even remind her that it had been sitting on the dryer for two weeks. Nor did I notice the lumpy pile of new laundry, expertly concealed with a blanket next to her closet. I simply smiled and took the paper she handed me as I walked out of the room.

I had thought the note she handed me was some sort of information, but as I glanced down, I saw that it was a card for me, written just that morning. Dropping into my desk chair, I opened it and read:

Sweet Mom,

Just thought I’d tell you that I’m praying for you as you go back to routine life. I just know that God is going to bless you soon. You are so faithful and have such an enduring heart (I’ve been reading Revelation and one of the big themes I’ve caught is endurance), and God is going to bring greatness and beauty out of your perseverance. God will redeem all of us kids because of you. He’ll bless you with the fulfillment of your dreams, and He will make my way and all of our ways straight before us. He will do something new!

So don’t be discouraged as you sit and pound away at your book, grocery shop,  and tame all the messes. Great things are going to happen and I love you so much - and that’s got to count for something.

So blessings and love and peace of Christ be with you.

Your Sarah

In that moment I felt as if I had been given a gift through my daughter. It was as if in the rush of my day, God had put it on her heart to stop me in my tracks and call me back to a spirit of calm and beauty. Sarah embodied for me what my soul held so dear - a life reflecting the beautiful reality, goodness, and love of God because of her filled soul.

Sitting in my chair and catching my breath, I realized that my sudden rush of feeling overwhelmed, I had completely lost sight of what mattered. Yes, the house needed to be cleaned and presents delivered to their various new spots and food needed to be bought for the cupboard. Yet, in the moment, I realized that I needed to take time, over a period of days to get it all back together.

Staying centered and opening my eyes to the needs of my children was now entering the priority list I was mentally making. All the work I did was so that our home would be a haven, a place rich with life and warm with thought, love, and beauty. My spirit that morning, though, was one of frenzied worry and irritated anxiety that cared only that things get done, not that people be loved or life enjoyed.

Glancing up as I thought this, my eyes caught a glimpse of Sarah’s present to me that year. For Christmas she had given me a hand-drawn scene of an old country home by a pinewood, bathed in the light of a brightly setting sun. In the sunset sky, she had inscribed my favorite verses of the year (Psalm 16:5-6) in carefully formed calligraphy:

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup.

You support my lot.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places,

Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.

Beautiful to me…Sarah represented a physical reality of the philosophy that the Lord wants me to continue to embrace. The Lord’s presence in my life is beautiful, and I want my spirit to be one that accepts it in thanks and appreciation - even on January Monday mornings.

…Instead of hurrying back downstairs, I took a deep breath and walked away slowly, planning what I would do next. I consciously made a decision to brush away my previous mental list of important things to accomplish and replaced it with the high priority of focusing my efforts on how to communicate love in the hours left in my day, especially to my youngest who had been dragged and pulled a lot during the holidays. Often she was the one who had to stretch to match her older siblings' activities.

I put on the kettle to make Joy a cup of vanilla-almond tea. I lit every candle I could find in my little living room and turned on my favorite Celtic CD. I lit the gas fireplace so that we could have a glowing fire and made a piece of cinnamon toast to accompany my little girl’s tea. Then I called her in and invited her to snuggle up next to me on our cozy, overstuffed couch. I kissed her sweet head and told her how glad I was to have time alone with her. We finished reading together the end of the book, Heidi, cloaked in our own spell of beauty and intimacy…

…At the end of our time and to my great surprise, she suddenly turned her eyes to me very tenderly and said, “You know, Mom, I would rather have time alone with you,  than even my Christmas presents and parties. I missed you when we were so busy. I just love it when we spend time alone. It makes me feel so special.”

God had used Sarah to gently remind me that, after all, I had another sweet girl just waiting for me to help her become another princess for His glory. And shaping her soul should not require hurry or bustle or modeled irritation at the busyness of the world. It required love, and love expressed tangibly through time, words, and lots of beauty Love, it seemed, truly was the greatest gift after all.”

Once again, my lovely daughter Sarah will be sharing with us at the MomHeart conferences. I know it will be a treat, as she is one who takes time to fill her life and soul with beauty, and then share what she's learned with us! I wanted to share a story from my book, The Mom Walk to give you a bit of a glimpse into my sweet girl's heart, and perhaps a taste of what you might hear at a conference. We teach freedom, grace, love and joy in the journey and have lots of foundational encouragement for your precious moms, even amidst the many duties of life. I am praying for rest and beauty for each of your souls. Have a wonderful day! 

 

I do hope to see you at an upcoming conference!

In Support and Celebration of Motherhood! And My Dream

 One Mom Heart to Another

A few weeks ago, after church one day at lunch, I was talking to Clay and said, "Someone needs to put visual messages together in support of motherhood. Something that will create life, buzz, encouragement and inspiration."

It seems there is support for everything else, but a mother's role is so very important to the shaping of the next generation, and yet the significance of the role, and how to be a godly mom,  is not taught in most churches. Moms are alone and unsupported and children are victims of every kind of abuse. Someone needs to begin putting together beautiful video messages about motherhood that gives life and validation to this Biblical design.

You see, I believe that God created mothers with the capacity to inspire greatness, build godly moral leaders who will take God's kingdom to bear in every area of life--government, medicine, the arts, literature, the military--that it is the shaping of souls that determines greatness of a people and cultivates virtuous faith. 

It is not wonder Satan would allure women away from this important task in every possible way--and want to end marriages and devalue the home.

Motherhood is not just about meeting basic needs. God crafted motherhood to give women the opportunity to be warriors of righteousness in the battle of life. Women are intelligent and spiritual creatures who are capable of transforming history through building godly generations. 

And yet, most of the young moms I know feel alone, untrained, weary and inadequate in this role because they have little or no support from their church, from older women, from their own mothers, and from the messages that have assaulted  their hearts and minds.

And so, I called a friend of ours who produces wonderful professional videos, Allan Spiers, (slingstone productions) and asked him if he would help. I called a sweet friend with 4 children, and wrote a script with Clay and we filmed 2 days later. We asked Joel to compose the music.

The above is the result.

God is using Mothers to plant the seeds of the next generation through their homes and God's heart is with mothers and He wants to do great things.

These are the ones God called me to inspire and disciple,

Joy 17, Sarah, 28, Nathan, 23, Joel, 26

WOMEN WERE CREATED TO BE WISDOM TO EACH GENERATION!

 Does not wisdom call out, and understanding lift up her voice?

Proverbs 8:1

I think that women are especially designed and equipped by God to dig down deep and bring beauty, faith, peace and hope to nations. A woman is at her best when she is creating life from the richness of her soul. I think that moms are the true heroes who will be the bearers of light when shadows threaten to overtake. They weave peace and love in homes where burdens are weighing on the shoulders of husbands. They sing songs of faith in the midst of life’s calamities.

They can model a child-like faith and rest in God when they live in the Sabbath rest of His provision even when physical provision is scant. I believe that moms can be the determining factor in our country during difficult times, to bring courage to bear as we wait on God and follow His ways.         

   In our days of faith-challenging changes of moral foundations and volatile uncertainties,in an era of confusion when biblical motherhood is often disdained or dismissed as irrelevant or unimportant in a post-modern culture, we are ripe for a movement of the Holy Spirit.

There is need for an intentional movement of godly women to hold forth the ideals, to inspire confidence, strength, faith and good works and in the midst, to develop deep friendships–as I believe that God created women to be the wisdom bringers, gate-keepers and civilizers of culture through relationship.

Will you please join me in sending this message and this video to moms all over so that they join in a movement, voice their needs, pray together for strength and wisdom to be the women, and mothers that God created us to be?

This is my heart for this year, 2013,  and for our world, for moms to make a difference in bringing a revival in faith in God, in civilizing nations and in raising heroes who will take His messages to a lost world who longs for his love.

I believe with all of my heart that mothers are designed by God, with His intentional wisdom to be so significant in the passing on of the gospel through our homes and then into the world. 

Please tell me your ideas, your thoughts, and please help me spread our messages to the world to let our voices be heard and to let our culture know God is on the move, and where there is a movement of God, there is always hope!

May God bless you in your role as a mother, bringing His light to your children, today!

A New Year's Tradition: De-Cluttering Your Soul

My Home Town, Colorado Springs, (Monument is my town!)

Every year for the past few years, I have pondered and written about de-cluttering my soul. I am pulling away for a few days, once again, to see what needs to stay and what needs to be cut. And so here for you today some thoughts on what that looks like. I hope you will be blessed as you read! 

We just put Nathan on the plane to go back home, I am launching Desperate next week. I have Joy home 4 more weeks, and 4 national conferences in 5 weeks. So, 2013 promises to be as taxing as the years when I first wrote this. And the Bible studies have met my heart cries just as deeply, so I hope you will be blessed in this reading and in praying through de-cluttering your own soul.

There is something uniquely good about January 1. It marks a new year, a new beginning, a new possibility. It also marks, for me, the reentry into simplicity. I don’t know if there is a more satisfying feeling for me during the year than when we put all of our Christmas things away, the decorations, the remnant of cookies, the clutter. We did that in my home, today. I love the celebration of life and the traditions and the fun and the beauty of special times spent with my children, husband and friends. But, there is something deeply satisfying to me about getting it all put away and getting back to normal.

Perhaps it is because my normal responsibilities of caring for my family’s needs demand so much of me—talking, talking, and then again talking to another child in the wee hours, cooking nutritious meals and holiday treats, organizing our schedules, cleaning and schedules blow to the wind on a daily basis, add to that ministry, (speaking, writing books and blogs in moments tucked around my family life)—these are enough, but holidays put on that extra load. Routines go by the wayside and so the clutter and demolishing of the house, slowly takes over.

I am not a person gifted in handling details—too much mail, too many catalogues, too many emails, too many options, too many things.

The more there is, the more I become responsible for, the more work there is to be done, and so, the more anxious I become.

 Same with activities. The more I commit to, the more I say yes, the more I have to drive, the more my house gets into a mess, and the more anxious I become, the more hurried we feel, and the more weary I become. When I am not at peace, nothing in our home is at peace.

We can all see how too much clutter and too many piles causes us to feel overwhelmed with life.

Consequently, slowly, I have learned to declutter as often as I can—throw away unnecessary stuff.

Clay is really the master at this. He helps me get rid of things, organize things and put away things. Yesterday, he decluttered our pantry—threw away chip bags that held little but took up space, cleared out empty water bottles, bad, junky Christmas candy that had been given to us, but would never eaten; baskets that had fallen off of their nails, groceries that had never been put in their place. Now, if someone came into my pantry, they would mistakenly think that I am an organized person. (Thank goodness for Clay!) It made me feel good just to open the door and to see that all was manageable again.

But, I have also come to realize that my soul, heart and brain can be the same way---cluttered with worries, responsibilities, duties, children’s future, finances, time constraints, expectations, disappointments, critical attitudes, resentment.

All of these added together, can tend to create soul piles and mind clutter. If I don’t take the time to sort the piles of mind clutter, my spirit becomes a mess and my heart becomes overwhelmed and weary.

Lately, I have been feeling that I have used up all the space in my brain and I don't even have time to think about God.

It is what awakened me at 4:00 a.m. this morning-soul clutter and worry. It is another reason I like January. It gives me an opportunity to make a new plan, to simplify the mind messes and to start off a whole new year well. In the same way that throwing away stuff and clearing out closets brings me relief, even more,

soul and mind cleaning and decluttering brings me rest.

So, as I begin a new year, and head into my conference season, a very busy time for our family, I resolve to deal with my soul-clutter, so that I may have strength to face each day in peace. I come to the place where I know I will find the help that I need. I come to my Father and ask Him to help me, His child, to show me how to make get rid of the junk that is unnecessary, and to help me clean out and organize my soul.

He speaks to me gently.

It was in writing my new book, Dancing with My Father, that I have learned so much about finding joy--and peace.

And this year, writing Desperate, I have sought to put my finger on those things that make me feel desperate, breathless, dark and deal with them.

In Him, with Him, by Him all the moments of my busy day. His voice leads me to what I long for--but I must get rid of all that causes me to fret, worry, criticize, control. There is a way....

“In quietness and rest shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15 You need to come to me and give me all those things that are weighing on your heart. Resolve to seek rest and peace.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”                   Matthew 11:28-29

I listed all of my issues this morning in my journal (and there seem to be multitudes of clutter piles in my soul--worries, attitudes, bitterness, weariness, fear, sin and a few more!) These are issues that will suck me dry and my energy dry if I do not notice them in order to clean out my soul!

The Lord prompted, "List all of your issues, give them over to Me, don’t hold on to them. I am capable of taking them from you and being responsible so that you will not be weary or carry what you are not capable of carrying."

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. “ Psalm 37:7

Focus on resting in Me—sit in My lap, so to speak, rest in My arms. Let Me carry you. I love you.. Wait for My timing. Don’t force things or beg Me to hurry up. I am in control.

“Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2

Give Me your attention and get control of your spirit. Be quiet. Be still. Recognize My sovereignty and transcendence. Remember what Jesus said, “Our Father who art in heaven, holy is your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus modeled His understanding that My will is what you need to rest in. I am in heaven and I see all things—the future, the past, your children, your relationships, --all your clutter. Give them to Me. Quiet your soul and rest in My strength and power.

“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this receives me.” Matthew 18:3-5

Come to Me as a child—even as your children, in their innocence and sweetness of heart, know that you will care for them and meet their needs because you are a loving parent who cares for them, so I am your Father who will take care of you. Leave the burdens to your Father and take your rightful place as a child. Humble yourself and trust Me. Enjoy Me. Delight in the beautiful moments of this day. Notice the little miracles. Live as an unfettered child. Accept your little and big children and receive them as a gift from Me, and you will indeed receive me into your midst.

“ ... a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I Peter 3:4

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about so many things. But really one is needed and Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10 41-42

Don’t worry and fret and stew and stir up unnecessary dust. Choose simplicity—just one thing I require—that you give it all to Me and love Me. I will take over. Even as I gave and provided a Sabbath in which all of my children should have rest from their work, so I want you to live in My Sabbath rest for your soul. Rest from your striving and labor. Take time for naps, for pleasure, for joy. This day you have to receive as a gift--I can't promise what tomorrow will hold. But today you can love, give peace, speak kind and wise words, dance in your soul with My secret pleasure that comes from knowing that I love you. Simplify your life, don’t make choices that will complicate or add unnecessary pressure or cause you to sin or grumble. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life,” as Paul said.

So, as I yielded my lists into God’s hands and decluttered my troubled soul, I left feeling that even as my house has been coming to order, after we cleaned and straightened it yesterday, now my soul is moving in the direction of order.

Rest, rest, rest—in quietness and rest will be your strength every day, every year, until you see me face to face. I love you, my sweet girl. Don’t forget that I am with you each moment of today. Your doting and loving Father.

And so, my prayers and blessings and well wishes are with you and your loved ones as you begin a new year, filled with limitless possibilities of God's love, light, redemption and joy. 

Be blessed!     

A New Year, new beginnings--Freedom, Life and Peace

As I ponder a new year, I want there to be more freedom--more grace--more life, for me and for my sweet friends.

I ask you, humbly today, to bear with a ramble of thoughts and words, for so it is.

Being immersed in beauty, pink sunsets, crisp breezes blowing in the trees, walking in the quiet of my mountains is almost a craving, a necessity of my soul. Free-spirited from birth, I love the wild, the vast color of God in creation. It matches my personality and suits my soul. I have to get away from the grasp that culture sometimes has on me,  to be able to breathe in God's presence.

Nearing 60, I am reflecting more on what really matters in life and reflect on what is really true.

Today in church, I spent half of my time making faces at the baby in front of me in the arms of a parent to see if I could keep her happy--her little smiles gave me such pleasure.

A few days ago, I came upon an unsuspecting child of mine who was singing at lung-tops and dancing around the living room--I joined in enthusiastically.

As I  survey the landscape of people I have known, very few really seem to have stilled their soul enough before Him to be amazed, and to live in the freedom and generous love He provides every day--to have that excitement bubbling up because of the fun, life, beauty that comes from knowing Him and living fully alive in His creation.

To dance, sing, laugh uncontrollably, to love deeply, to drink from the pleasure of life He has allowed, even in the midst of the fallen places-this is to know Him and His presence every day.

Yet, surrounded by people who know how to be good but who seem uptight and judgmental, kills my soul; who know many rules they live by and talk about them; who pressure their children to behave by forcing themselves upon them because they are bigger--but these parents seem to lose their children's hearts or neglect to enjoy the antics of their childish personalities. The priority, instead, is to have their children fit into the box of their preconceived expectations--and that just does not work.

Some define themselves by the name of their church, but Jesus will define them by how much they loved.

These, who energetically espouse what their brand of Christianity is; or the boxes they live by; or stand in judgment the people that don't live by their rules,

condemning the lost for being lost, when only God can do so--

I have been there, done that--but legalism kills the heart and spirit of life. Rules are broken because we can never be perfect--and neither can anyone that we love, be perfect.

So living by works, and then the circle of disappointment that ensues, only creates more of a sense of failure and hopelessness.

But I long to be with those who live in mystery and have learned a little about it over the years. The mystery of His infinite wisdom, glory, power, and willingness to do miracles through those who are looking and listening for Him. This is what I love, long for and wanted to pass to my own children-

not laws about Him, but the Love, wisdom and beauty that moves Him.

I do not look at limited me--but I live, as His toddler, growing little by little, and knowing He will hold me, protect me, love me, because it is His nature and he is  a good Father who will see to the well-being of his immature toddler.

Religion does not satisfy

But, really, no wonder Christianity has not had an impact in our generation--we are offering a religion but not a person; things to do, but not one who transforms and heals hearts.

What a waste of time. God is not impressed by how well we know the rules or by how hard we try to keep the law. He came so that we did not have to strive so hard, because He knew we would never succeed in life without His power and redemption.

But, when I am in the presence of one who has been with Him, whose life has been changed by His unconditional, gentle, generous love, then my soul is fueled to be in that company. 

When one has walked in the presence of the Servant King and been loved and served by Him, one is different.

When I am in the presence of one who is filled with His life, it causes a burning and excitement in my own soul.

What troubles my heart greatly.......

However, I am deeply troubled by the people I am surrounded by who seem to live in bondage--unnecessary bondage of inadequacy, and always feeling the weight of their own shortcomings and sin upon their own back.

Bondage of fear of what might happen in life, or to children, or to finances.

Bondage to flesh--trying to put more effort into doing it right, striving to achieve a holy life, trying to be a perfect mom or wife or friend and failing again and again.

Bondage of the expectations of others--performing by other's standards and boxes and opinions or the bitterness of others who have wounded them.

Such a waste of energy and life for precious people who do not have to live that way.

And living in the bondage of performance and works makes living through marriage, friendship, mothering children--from young, teens to adulthood, impossibly difficult, because there is no formula that covers all the possibilities, temptations and experiences, so formulas and rules will always disappoint and confuse. 

It is only faith in the One who knows, that gives freedom to live apart from bondage.

Jesus just does not want us to live in defeat.

At 60, I I know more than ever before, I still can't be perfect--but I am more grateful for His provision and love and seek to live in His grace and deep gratitude for what He gives.

All of these things flurry around and create voices in our heads and weigh down souls and leave darkness, unless we choose to live in the light.

But where He is, there is unimaginable splendor and light. He came because the people living in darkness needed a great light.

He is the light and sparkle of the world.

I call the Christians who live by so many rules and isms and pressure, the ones in the Christian Bubble.

My children have laughed at me this week because they noticed so often I say, "I just hate the bubble." and they know what I mean.

So, though I could write volumes and thousands of words some day and be more organized with these thoughts, but I am off to celebrate life with my sweet ones present in my home.

But this year, this new year,  I wish you, and pray for you peace--rest--grace--freedom.

I am going to spend some time today putting my finger on those things that steal my joy, that take from my love, faith and freedom and then make a new plan to be in the mystery and glory of His presence and joy more often every day, so that when people are in my presence, they may draw from Him who is there, alive and fresh and powerful and mysterious.

"It was for freedom that Christ has set us free, therefore keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

May this new year, mark a beginning of a new time, when you and I invest in Him, and in the reality of His kingdom. And daily may we celebrate His magnificent love, that others may be blessed in the shadow of our lives that crosses their paths

And stand firm in the freedom that we were meant to experience.

Precious memories, unforgettable moments of Christmas 2012

This week, I gave my wonderful co-executive ceo of Whole Heart a cashmere scarf to go with his cool cap.

Lots of sibling fun and hugs going on--it is great to be at this point. Just when you thought your children would never stop fussing, they are all best friends.

Even a memory of sitting on the small bathroom floor, with Joel, Sarah and Joy talking until midnight. Started with brushing teeth.

Participated in a special Christmas choir, where Joel (director in front), wrote an original 4 part piece of music for Downtown New Life and for the pastor, Glen Pakiam called Magnum Mysterium. (About the mystery of the virgin birth and coming of Jesus.) I must admit, it was so sweet to be led by the conductor who used to be my little boy! :)

I made homemade herb bread and  potato soup with fruits, nuts and cheeses for our Christmas Eve totally candlelit dinner and giggled over many times gone by.

Hosted friends in our home to celebrate the season together, ending in a carol sing and concert by Clay on guitar, Joel on piano, and two other family friends on violin and cello. (Terri Moon and son Jeremiah) It was sweet to have lots of kids and sweet voices old and young.

I have cooked and eaten and washed dishes--about a thousand times, and then someone comes into the kitchen and says, "I'm hungry. What is there to eat?"--again!

These guys look serious about their food!

But, the memories are so sweet. I have not gone to bed before 11:30 or 12:30 any night, gotten up early most mornings to send Joel off with scrambled eggs and toast, to his Apple Store job in Denver--45 minutes away.

Saw Les Mis together and discussed it on the way home amidst a snow storm and a car sliding out on the freeway. No storms keep us from talking and talking and talking about our opinions.

Talked lots and lots with Nathan--so fun;  watching a dramatic series together and favorite old Christmas shows.

Got everyone warm new jammies (Joy--owls of course, Sarah and me gowns and the boys all warm flannels--even  we have spent hours and hours on the couches in front of fireplaces in our new jammies just being glad to relax.

Feasted and listened to constant music in the community called the Clarksons and taking time to look into the eyes of each child and thanking God for each day.

Having tea by candlelight in Sarah's room with doors closed.

Talking late into the night, hearing Joy's stories and secret dreams about college, friends, issues and life.

I pray God's blessings and protection on all of my sweet ones as they foray back into the world, but for this week, we have savored the moments.

Always, the mama--always the need to provide, pray and inspire and listen.

Thankful for my role amidst this precious life.

Changing the world, one family, one mom at a time! Come join us!

This is the time of year I begin to get excited. For eighteen years, we have hosted mom's conferences to refresh and inspire moms with the importance of their role as a mom in the lives of the next generation. Community and friendship has become a consequence of moms from literally all over the world to celebrate their mutual lives.

What a miracle to see God work over the years. From the beginning, we would gather women--in our home, then in small groups, and in churches, all over the world. Women holding up ideals together. Women reaching out to friends. Women standing strong together--praying, loving, weeping, giggling, celebrating this divine call of motherhood and together, with the strength of like minds, determining to build their own children into a godly generation.

Women mounting up over their past scars and insecurities, guilt, failures and helping each other build a new story.

Women teaching each other the truth, the reality of God, the love and grace of Christ.

The theme of this year's conference will be the same as my new book, Desperate: Hope for the mom who needs to breathe! We want every mom to leave with hope, a full heart and help for her role as a mom.

Lots of great speakers, music, a luncheon, an enormous book table, chocolate and lots of time to cultivate friendships with like-minded moms!

This has pretty much defined our whole lives--our family history, together, for many years, hosting gatherings all over the world, to write, speak and minister to these great moms, thousands and thousands, who have changed the world, one family at a time.

So it is no wonder I am excited. Hundreds of us will gather again in Colorado, California, Texas and North Carolina. My children will travel to be there, and once again, we will see the miracle of His life, transforming us all in His presence.

No wonder I am excited--can't wait to see you all and to be a part, again, of a miracle.

But be sure to register soon and bring your friends to make a great memory.

Some of the conferences are getting close to full.

And will you please help us get the word out about the conferences on facebook, twitter, and to your own networks of moms? We love encouraging as many moms as possible!

I thought you might enjoy a story from a very dear friend of mine who has attended and love the mom's conferences. Whether you can be with us or not, do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together, for where two or more are, there He is in our midst.

TO REGISTER, GO HERE!

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU THERE. WE SHALL HAVE A GRAND TIME!

Here is my friend's invitation:

Whether you are a working mom, single mom, military mom, special needs mom, weekend mom, drowning mom, homeschool mom, grand-mom...our common ground is children (from the crib to facial hair). Each of you are in the trenches of parenting. A soldier would never be sent to battle without training, weapons and a battle plan...neither should you.

For the past 5 years, I have attended Sally Clarkson's Mom Heart Conference held in Dallas.  Sally is the author of The Mission of Motherhood, which many of you have gone through this year in your B.O.M. Squads.  This conference restored my heart to my oldest daughter and her heart to mine.  I can still quote nuggets of wisdom that I heard at my first conference.  

I've also attended a writers and speakers conference hosted in Sally's home.  Her heart for moms is truly God-given.  Would you consider coming with me to a conference this year?  The conference is a guilt-free event. You are God's best chance for raising a generation to love God.  

You are God's best bet at restoration in your family. You are God's perfect choice to raise the children entrusted to you.  Come to conference with me and discover simple, inspiring ways to reach our children. If you come looking for God and His direction, you will not leave Dallas wondering where He was or what He wants you to do.

Equip a mom...change the world.

In the trenches but NOT alone,

Stacy Buck