An Invitation to Join Our SOBeR Club!

A couple of years ago, Joy had Sarah and me in stitches one afternoon when we picked her up after a morning spent working at our local MOPS group. She had just been assigned to the two-year-olds, a more challenging group than those she'd worked with previously.There were stories about all sorts of body fluids--specifically one little boy whose mom said he was being potty trained and who had been sent with no diapers--only underwear--and eventually cried, sobbed, screamed twice when he had accidents, and soused his clothes again and again, with Joy to clean it up. Joy was wondering if this was what most moms called "potty training." There were other stories about nose junk, bottom junk. sucking junk; kids sneezing on her, hitting each other, hitting her, screaming--and by the time we picked her up, she was exhausted!

"Did you go through all of this with us?" she asked, incredulous. "How did you make it???"

Told her I'm not really sure how I made it, but somehow muddled through. Also advised her just to be sure not to have ten two-year olds at once!

Life as a woman, mom, and wife can sometimes be gross, stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, boring and demanding on many levels. Sometimes moms feel guilty admitting the variety of feelings they have. Feelings are neutral--they neither define who we are or take away from our righteousness. They are just a reaction to the situation we are in.

I remember so many years when I just obeyed what I was supposed to do without feeling like doing it. Because I loved my children, I made decisions to cultivate what was best for them. Because I was committed to loving Clay (and God) I acted, as a choice of my will, in the best interest of Clay, by faith, not by feelings. As I look back, I am so glad that I learned to put one foot in front of the other, because usually my feelings would follow. I am grateful the Lord kept me going in the right direction by the convictions I held and followed. If I had followed all of my feelings, the results would have been disastrous.

But there are just times in life or parenting or mothering or marriage that seem overwhelming and too depleting to handle. A few years ago, Clay and I decided that when we got to this point, we needed to call a SOBeR Club meeting. It stands for:

Sick

Of

Being

Responsible

SOBeR-Sick Of Being Responsible

There are times that we all just have to take a break! On our sober club nights, we always do something that we want to do that is just for us--sometimes we even ask friends to join us--go to dinner, a movie, a walk in the mountains, take a drive to see the city lights--music blaring, windows down--just cruising and trying to relax. We do something different--go away from the stress, from the kids. We do not talk about any of the problems or money or stress or ministry. We just relax, have fun, get away and lighten up.

With friends or my girls, SOBeR Club nights can include going to some fun cafe, buying something little or fun that I enjoy. Joy prepared a small package with a Warm Vanilla Sugar candle, lotion and perfume for me this week on the day of our meeting! Sarah bought me a piece of dark chocolate with almonds and suggested going somewhere for a massage, by stealing a few dollars from our little drawer where we put away dollar bills each month to have on "rainy"  days.

The principle is similar to that of the Sabbath. Get away from the responsibilities. Go to a park when your kids are driving you nuts. Stop having school and go do something fun. Take a nap. Watch a movie instead of doing one more chore, buy some flowers when it is snowing for ten days straight--just shake things up a little. Life is still there tomorrow after the SOBeR club meeting, and after we've all blown off a little steam, we can then can face the responsibilities with a little bit fresher outlook.

SOBeR club met today after the flurry of the conferences. Tomorrow I will get back to responsibility--but tonight I am just going to go to sleep and snuggle up in my covers.

...

 If you could use a little encouragement  and even some practical help in motherhood, you might just like Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. Find it here!

Give Them an Inch and You May Walk a Mile ... Together

Why, hello! I'm Sally's assistant, Misty Krasawski, and I'm thrilled to be sharing with you here today, as Sally is taking a little R&R time away in Asheville with Sarah this week. 

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered." ~Prov. 11:24-25

It had been a very long day, one full of the usual cooking and cleaning up messes, trying to keep up with writing obligations and phone calls, and too many worries were clogging my mind. Unfortunately I'd probably spent a little more time engaged in my "work" than in play, and the children had noticed.

A plaintive voice came from around the corner. "Mom!"

I tried to put him off. "Not now, I'm busy!" I said, returning to the stubborn gunk stuck to my kitchen floor.

"MOM~ I need you!!!"

Giving up, I tossed the rag I was using aside, swallowed a sigh of exasperation, plunked the bowl of soapy water I'd been slaving over onto the counter, and stomped a bit as I reluctantly turned from my work to follow him to the next room, wondering what he could possibly want this time.

"I got this for you," he said, offering a grubby fist gripping tightly onto the now-bent neck of a flower pulled from our walkway.

Instantly, my heart was struck. Here I was being frustrated with a child whose only intention was to bless. I got down on the floor and hugged him tight. "Oh, buddy! Thank you! I love that!" Putting him on my knee, I threw a quick prayer heavenward ... Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me for seeing only the mess stuck to the floor in front of me, and missing the beauty running around on two legs in the front yard. 

And then I wondered ...

How many times have I done that?

Don't you love those old-fashioned church signs, which give wonderful advice like, "Don't make Me come down there!" or this, my personal favorite, especially in the middle of a roasting Florida summer: "Think it's hot here?" There was one in our neighborhood last year which said, "Give the devil an inch and he'll want to be your ruler." So many great thoughts could be pulled out of that one. It comes from a saying, though, that I sometimes think subconsciously rules my reactions to my children: Give him an inch and he'll take a mile.

The truth is, I'm selfish. Though I'm an intentional person by nature and want to please the Lord; though I truly love my children and enjoy just being with them, still there is more of me left in me than I'd like to admit.

Motherhood takes a lot out of us. Day in and day out there are people in need and want, demands constantly being made, things that never seem to get crossed off the to-do list! Sometimes I withhold my *self* because I just don't want to give up any more of me. Times when I just cannot look into one more pair of eyes because my soul feels shrunken and there's just not enough in there to pour out one more drop.

Being in the midst of a move has meant many, many of those days piled up right on top of one another. Wiping down a dusty bookshelf this afternoon, I said to the Lord, "I cannot do this anymore. I'm drained and too tired. I cannot keep being nice and working so hard, I just can't."

You know what I heard Him say? "Okay. But look ... see? You are doing it. You know why? Because it's never you, anyway. It's always, always Me; and it's Me now and it will be Me tomorrow and the day after that. You can do it, because My spirit is in you. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead will quicken your body and you will find yourself able, day after day."

He promises strength to the weary, to bear us up in His arms, and I hear tell there are even green pastures out there. We don't have to keep our hearts covered up, hidden away from our spouses and children lest they ask for more than we can give. The funny thing is, the more I withhold, the more incessant the demands become. The more I pour out before it's requested, the more satisfied and peaceful my children are. Spending time with little ones early in the day affords chances to work with older ones as the afternoon works its way around. An impromptu date with a teenager curbs frustration and rebellion over little issues because they already know I love them and have their backs and don't feel I'm just the lady with the rulebook.

Needs met are tucked away satisfied, while needs ignored only grow in their intensity and demand.

Parenting is one area where giving an inch prevents the mile from being taken. Or perhaps it allows us to walk the miles together. We will find the proverb true when it comes to our time and effort as mamas ...

"One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered."

~Prov. 11:24-25

May we all give freely today!

 Misty Krasawski is wife to Rob, mama to eight wonderful blessings and a very grateful daughter of the King. She loves to bake, garden, eat chocolate, read, and make things pretty. She spends most of her online time as assistant to Sally Clarkson and part of the MomHeart Online team, but can also sometimes be found at her blog, Encouraging Beautiful Motherhood.

Also, don't miss Angela Perritt's article today at MomHeart Online, reminding us to speak words that water souls! 

...

"Often times I come away from a book on mothering feeling worse than I did before. Most authors present one way of doing things and the book makes the author look like supermom and that, we too, can be supermom if we just follow their plan. Desperate is the complete opposite - it shows us how all mothers struggle and helps us climb out of the suffocating trenches of mommyhood." -Amazon review

If you could use a little encouragement  and even some practical help, you might just like Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. Find it here, and then head on over to the book club today as Sarah Mae is discussing Chapter 8 - Escaping!

Battling Depression, Part Three: Writing Your Own Story Well

Frans Von Mieris

This is the final post in this series on battling depression. You can find Part One here and Part Two here.

One of the beautiful arts of a godly woman is to write her own story of life well, intentionally and with skill,  in the midst of the one she has been given. But to write well a tale that will endure and inspire, requires a committed heart, a devoted heart of faith, and the will to endure and work hard to live with choices that will renew hope and bring life. It is God's desire to support us in our story, but we must desire from our hearts to embrace His ability to enter into our stories to make them great.

How will your life write and tell of God's faithfulness? How will you bring beauty out of chaos;  integrity and faith to difficulty and testing, love to a loveless situation; hope and light to darkness? We have such great capacity to redeem our stories and to give our children a memory of how we used the strength of God and hard work and a commitment to love to bring about life and to change the ending of the story we have been given. I have seen so many women exercise their intelligence, wisdom and skill to create a story of life that brings hope and gives value. It is natural to give in to despair, it is supernatural to mount up over your story with the life and grace the Holy Spirit wants to provide through you. Heroines are made by being brave in difficulty, when giving up or being fearful would have been the natural response. But to mount up requires a will--a will that says, I will refuse to be overcome; I will trust God, battle for His ways, and work to make my story one of meaning, nobility and goodness. Because I have Him, all things become possible.

5. Read, read, read. C.S. Lewis said that we read to know we are not alone. My favorite authors became my friends. Inspiration of other women and men, who had made a difference fueled my soul with courage in my own dark places. Just reading about their lives and stories fed my soul and showed me how to live my life. In the absence of having older women or grandmas in my life, the books and biographies I read aloud to the kids and myself  became my friends and fellowship--especially throughout the 17 moves. I needed a friend, so my books became my friends and fellowship and shaped my life.

6.Organize relationships in life so that you can be blessed. I have had to start many groups and Bible studies and kids' groups in my home. But when we initiate or organize a way for friends to meet, we find that we are blessed in the midst of it. I have started book clubs (where you read a book and then get together for dinner and discuss it); once a month dinners for several families, prayer groups for myself with a few close friends; taking turns to host all the families at a home; started Bible studies for the girls and their moms and the boys and their dads (Clay did that); tea parties, picnics, meet-at-the-park days, Christmas parties and so on.

Some of these attempts fizzle, but some end up blessing me and our children.We had a spontaneous meal with a friend the other night and we all had so much fun and felt so loved in the midst, and I just ran into her at the grocery store. It was worth the trouble to get together.  Often when we are so busy, we don't take time for things like this and eventually we become lonely.

Often just reaching out to others or opening my home, brings more friends my way and in the long term meets my needs. I also plan things I know I will enjoy into my schedule--Saturday morning breakfasts downtown with Sarah and a long walk by all the old mansions, hot chocolate with Joy; breakfasts with my boys, alone dinners at home with Clay when I feel like I miss him--I send the others out for a trip to a book store/coffee shop and I light candles and have a simpler dinner all alone--without anyone bothering our conversation.

I also save each year for travel by putting away 10-15 dollars a month--because for me to get away from home and dishes and internet and phone calls is always a great break and rest for my ADHD, restless soul--and of course I keep chocolate hidden to have as a treat on a needed day and always have tea in a real china cup with candles lit and civility--even if just for 15 minutes. When I organize life with delight, I often find I end up with a happier soul and fun and make friends in the midst. All the leaders I have ever known have said that they always have to initiate more to people and people don't always reciprocate, but I would rather have the opportunity to have friends and fellowship, even if I have to do the work, than to always be by myself.

Most of all, though, I remember, intentionally, over and over again, that God, my precious Father, loves me and wants me to experience His joy. I have resolved to look for His love and to receive His love by faith, even when I don't feel like it. He dearly loves each one of you precious moms, too,  and wants to lead you away from darkness or sadness and move you to joy and peace.

So, may His warm hand grasp yours in the midst of your darkness and may He lead you to a way to light a candle in the darkness so that you can see His face and be assured of His tender companionship in the midst of it all.

How different history will be when people choose to believe God right where they are, and who act in faith to build, renew, restore and to choose faithfulness in difficult relationships.

God is with you, who can be against you? May He lead you to become His warrior and to see Him fight your battles and to make all things new. God causes all things to work together for His good and He is suiting you and preparing you for heaven.

May your story give you a platform, an arena, in which you may find and spread God's light and may the ending of the story you write for your children and children's children give hope and reflect the faith in a God who redeems and loves beyond reason. Be blessed today.

Learning to be a Selfless mama and basking in the reward (Desperate--Chapter 7)

Everyone home for Thanksgiving and celebrating life together with Christmas around the corner.

Desperate, Chapter 7, Sacrifice in the mundane--on selfishness!

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15: 13

"You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you."

John 13: 13-15

Everyone was expected home any time. Seven of us at every meal plus the 4-10 others of the kids' friends who would just drop in and want something "wondy" to eat, after all, they said, "This is our holiday--our time off!"

Funny how mamas don't get time off on holidays! But, putting one foot in front of the other, willing my tired self,  was familiar and a habit that had served me well. (I had company over the weekend, a dinner for 10 women, and written to a deadline until midnight the night before everyone was due home--not to mention all the cooking and baking.)  The joy set before me--my beloveds, my dearest friends, my children, were all here to celebrate in the love we had created over the years--and this gave me the impetus to keep going a little longer, but with a light  and expectant heart.

Finally the hustle and bustle of everyone arriving home. Eating, movie, desert, dishes, messes, staying up late and talking, followed by the Thanksgiving meal, 17 in the house, cooking and cleaning up again, and finally I fell into bed almost asleep before I hit the pillow at midnight, after having cleaned up the messes again.

Two hours later, I felt a tapping, tapping, tapping on my arm. "Mama, wake up. Please wake up."

I was so deeply asleep, I had trouble figuring out where I was! I opened my thick eyelids, still groggy, and there was Joy's sweet face, eyebrows furrowed and looking intently.

"Mama, would you please get up with me. I hate to wake you up but I need you."

My mind told my body to get out of bed, that this is what I was supposed to do.

By the time I got followed her to her bedroom, I was finally waking up.

"I threw up because I can't breathe very well. I think I just have asthma from a respiratory infection, and if I was at school, I would have just sweat it out, but since I am home, I wanted my "mama" to be with me and comfort me."

And so, for the next two hours, I pampered her as best as possible. Bubbly drink, with straw, puffed up pillows, soft blanket on the couch, soft music, fire in the fireplace, asthma treatment, and endless times of rubbing her head, stroking her brow as when she was a little child.

"Mama, I wasn't so sick that I couldn't have handled it, but I have missed you so much and I just wanted you. Do you mind?

I realized when I was away at college that I always had an expectation that if I needed you in any way, you would always come. And I didn't just need you to take care of me tonight, I wanted to talk to you and just be with you to tell you everything that has been on my hear the last few months. Thanks for letting me know deep inside that I could ask you and know you would comfort me and that you would be willing to be with me--even in the middle of the night. I love you, mama!"

And finally, as the sun was peaking through our windows in soft pinks and purples, her breathing eased, her voice stopped the chatter of a heart shared, and my sweet one, now a young adult, once again fell asleep on my lap, and this time, I relished every minute.

********************************************************************************

One of my biggest adjustments to motherhood was the constant giving, giving, giving. I had been the only girl in my family, and the youngest and truly had never been trained or prepared to be a mama. I did not even know I was selfish because I had lived my life pretty selfishly all of my life and had never really been accountable to anyone. But then when I had my children and they were always always always there, I did not have anything in me that knew how to handle the burdens.

When they were very young, I sort of blamed them and became frustrated with them and sometimes felt deep anger--as though it was somehow their faults for being children and needing me. Or even just that they were alive and needy seemed too much. I had never faced my own selfishness until I had children.

Now as an adult, I can see that my children have been my training grounds for building godly character in my own life. Jesus wanted me to learn to be like Him so He gave me children.

When I was so very helpless and overwhelmed and wanted answers, I turned to Him and to the Bible. How did He influence His disciples? How did he lead them in such a way that they all gave their lives to His cause?

Oh, how I wish the answer had been an easier one--Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.

And then, He, the God of the universe, knelt down on the dirty floor and washed 120 dirty toes of men feet, the night He was going to sacrifice His life for these very same men!

Oh, Jesus, I never knew this is what it would take to be a true Christian--a believer with integrity. But, if giving up your life is what you did--as you said, for an example for me to follow, then it must become my own standard-the way to reach my own children--to lay down my life....

My time

My body

My energy

My emotions

My things

My dreams

Myself--greater love has no one than this

But, as I look back now, many years and many mistakes later,

Yet many moments of practicing what I knew was right

no sleep, washing one more dish, making one more meal, laughing at jokes, correcting attitudes, hugging, giving words of life, playing, and doing it all over again,

I now have my very own disciples who have given up their lives for His cause.

But now, they are my dearest and best friends and favorite people.

Selflessness, not a popular or contemporary value--Yet, it is what He is like. He only requires from us what He has first given--all of ourselves.

Fellowship with Him through this journey of motherhood, the deep places where our lives finally begin to understand what it took Him to redeem our own lives--the giving up, totally offering up His rights and time for ourselves, His very own children.

"When I finished reading this book, I immediately told Aileen that she would find it rich and encouraging. I want her to read it, because I know it will bless her...I very much enjoyed reading Desperate and am convinced that it will bless and encourage any mother who reads it." -From a review by Tim Challies, Challies.com

 Past Book Study Posts:

Tantrums in Barnes & Noble, The Motherhood Nod, and Being Rocked (Desperate Book Club – Introduction)

Desperate Online Book study, Chapter 1: Ideals and Going Under

Chapter 2: Not a Loner!

Chapter 3: Will We Live By Formula or Faith?

Chapter 4: Light a Candle, Don’t Curse the Darkness (Battling Depression)

Chapter 5: We See the Holes but God Sees the Holy

Chapter 6: Oxen, "Five-sies", and a Foundation of Love

It just really isn't all about me--the secret to embracing joy!

As I look back over the seasons of my life, I often struggled because I did not understand some very important truths that are foundational to Spiritual health through out all the ages. It's a pretty simple and straightforward concept--but sometimes very hard to comprehend.

Joy comes through exercising faith right on the path where God has led. Faith catalyzes Joy as we worship by choosing to see God right in our midst, at this place, in this step of life. For more about this concept and more encouragement today, and Dancing with My Father, you can connect to: thebettermom.com

From Desperate to Hope to Friendship to Destiny!

Motherhood is daunting. It is delightful, fulfilling, rewarding, eternally significant, but it is also daunting! There are times in every mother's journey when the less than glamorous aspects of motherhood can feel like a heavy blanket of desperation wrapped around your spirit!

This is why Sarah Mae and I wrote the book: Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, which inspired this year's Mom Heart Conference theme, "I take hope. Moving from Desperate to Destiny."

All of us need to take hope from the promises and wisdom of God to make it through those wet blanket, overwhelming, dark days.

Join hundreds of women from all over the US and other countries to be inspired and encouraged.

This year, I want every mom who attends to leave the conference with hope for herself, for her home, for having the ability to love and shepherd the hearts of her children. Not just a passing feeling, but that God is active and living in themselves, their homes and in the hearts of their children. The kind of hope that leads you from desperate to a sense of destiny--that through you God will shape the next generation of adults, and that your labor and love is investing in eternity.

This weekend will be one of refreshment, encouragement, close friendship and fellowship, laughter, tears and life. I hope many of you can make it. There is music, great food, chocolates, great speakers, lots of extras and books galore!

Please join us and tell your friends. For 4 more days, we are extending early registration, which is the lowest price and including $10 for the book table. But you must register by Saturday night, midnight, to get in on this offer.

Can't wait to see you there.

For more info, go here,  http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

and please help us spread the word!

Pick up our button from my side bar and put it on your side bar!

Thanks a zillion! :)

Motherhood is daunting. It is delightful, fulfilling, rewarding, eternally significant, but it is also daunting! There are times in every mother's journey when the less than glamorous aspects of motherhood can feel like a heavy blanket of desperation wrapped around your spirit!

This is why Sarah Mae and I wrote the book: Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, which inspired this year's Mom Heart Conference theme, "I take hope. Moving from Desperate to Destiny."

All of us need to take hope from the promises and wisdom of God to make it through those wet blanket, overwhelming, dark days.

Join hundreds of women from all over the US and other countries to be inspired and encouraged.

This year, I want every mom who attends to leave the conference with hope for herself, for her home, for having the ability to love and shepherd the hearts of her children. Not just a passing feeling, but that God is active and living in themselves, their homes and in the hearts of their children. The kind of hope that leads you from desperate to a sense of destiny--that through you God will shape the next generation of adults, and that your labor and love is investing in eternity.

This weekend will be one of refreshment, encouragement, close friendship and fellowship, laughter, tears and life. I hope many of you can make it. There is music, great food, chocolates, great speakers, lots of extras and books galore!

Please join us and tell your friends. For 4 more days, we are extending early registration, which is the lowest price and including $10 for the book table. But you must register by Saturday night, midnight, to get in on this offer.

Can't wait to see you there.

For more info, go here,  http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

and please help us spread the word!

Pick up our button from my side bar and put it on your side bar!

Thanks a zillion! :)

The Culture of our own family home.....

“Where we love and are loved is home, home where our feet might leave, but not our hearts.” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Welcome began where my precious firstborn, fought the construction at the airport, to pick me up one more time and to say, "Hi, Mama. I love you. I am so very happy you are home."

Then the wonderful emails, comments, facebook messages--to see how very blessed I am to have so many, undeserved friends praying and wishing me well and welcoming me home--

I do not deserve such abundant grace and love and it fills my heart with thanksgiving.

My shady front porch which says, "You belong here." I bought 4 rocking chairs this summer that invited us all to sit and talk whenever and we spent hours being together here--and had to pull up chairs.

So happy to be in my home again–

where the tea is strong, (Yorkshire Gold)

and always  in China cups or mugs, (It keeps it hotter!) This one of my favs--all the kids gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago!

At my kitchen counter, I can grab a handful of my dark almonds, (I buy them in bulk--my antioxidants, you know!) or nuts or grapes or fruit--whatever is in season,

my little books and things that are familiar every where I left them......

and Clay and I chatter about events, ideas, dreams and thoughts and I know he will laugh at the things that made me merry! He puts on music which wafts through our home most of the time, all the time;

 Sarah greeting me with a fresh crock-pot full of chicken, herbs, oil, potatoes and a sauce that is savory--meal already prepared--and all is straight, clean and inviting--no work for me!

flowers that have lasted us 2 weeks (only $3 bunches--picked well! ) and a lit candle, fresh pears and cheese, and home made apple crisp

 snuggling up with a great  "Joy" heart talk,  before she goes to bed, sharing secrets; (on the phone, of course, talking of Thanksgiving in just 3 weeks,........)

my own little books and magazines and precious pictures and things all around, and having candlelight and warm meals at night in our warm comfy den with....

and lots of talking and sharing with everyone wanting everything heard and known and giggled at;

Kelcy–oh faithful golden retriever paws me again and again and again, and where all is familiar and all belong to this tiny little community of Clarkson.  We have built our culture over many years--but it speaks to all of us of "Clarkson" and though it may not appeal to others, to us it speaks

"Home where you belong."

Oh so happy to be home tonight!

What things define some of your family culture?

Embracing Serving Our Children, Because Time Goes Quickly

"Six years passed between my third child, Nathan, and my fourth child, Joy. I had had three miscarriages and didn't think I would ever have another baby. By the time Joy came, I had lived through the early youth of my other three children and had seen that they really did grow up quickly. Finally, by experience, I understood that the dependent stage of early childhood was only for a season. I could see how important it was to enjoy each day and treasure these moments of early life with my children, because the years did pass quickly. How I wished I could take back all the impatient words I had said, all the guilt I had imposed on my older children just because they were acting their age and taking up my time. Fortunately, they remember mostly the good times and not my immature responses to their normal behavior.

I was much more patient with the interruptions that Joy brought to my life because I realized that I might never have this opportunity again. I cherished our time alone while she nursed. I enjoyed the sweet moments when she would crawl into bed with me and snuggle close. Having made my peace (mostly) with the reality that giving my children time is a part of serving them, I was able to relax and open myself to the joys of being with them.

These days I have no baby in the house. Instead, I have an exuberant seven-year-old and three teenagers. And these beloved children still take up all of my time, but in different ways. Yet since I know that this is a necessary sacrifice, a part of my service to them and to God, it is easier to bear--partly because I have made the choice to embrace the task of mothering, partly because I have come to terms with the natural demands children make on my time, but mostly because my attitude has changed." ~ The Mission of Motherhood

Of course if you know our family, you're aware that the seven-year-old I mentioned is now in her first year at Biola University, while the teenagers have grown into lovely adults who are my best friends. And now, even more, I realize how swiftly time flies and how quickly our opportunity to serve and nurture and shape the hearts of our children in such an intensive way, 24 hours a day, passes by.

Looking at Jesus interacting with His disciples; with crowds, pushing and pulling, demanding, shouting, jostling most days for three years straight; reading of how He took children on His lap when others would have pushed them away; amazed at how He washes 120 toes the night before He is sentenced to death--all of these things give me a picture of what my life as a mom is all about. True joy comes ... sometimes slowly ... in fits and starts ... two steps forward, one step back ... when I develop a long-range vision and believe His promise that my work will not go unrewarded.

 Praying for you today, that the Lord would give you a vision, soften your heart, and strengthen you for the days ahead!

When Dancing With the Lord Has Twists and Turns

I hope you're joining us at MomHeart Online and The Better Mom for our fall Book Club where we're studying my book, Dancing With My Father! Dancing was written specifically to address the difficulty of finding joy in a fallen world. It seems more and more important to me as time goes on that women know this truth; that the Lord can help us live with joy, if we will hold tightly to Him and not give up!

Today we're talking about chapter four, at The Better Mom. Won't you join us, and share your thoughts? Here's a snippet from this chapter ...

“Often it seems we would rather have another life—any life—than our own. Somehow we think if we lived a different life, it would be easier for us to grow in faithfulness and spiritual character. Yet it is in accepting today with all of its issues, in accepting God’s will and training grounds that we learn the secret of joy in His presence. It is in being faithful to our own set of tests that we become mature and fitted for the ministry He has called each of us to accomplish.” ~Sally Clarkson, Dancing With My Father

See you there!