Practicing Believing in and Loving God

The past few days have been a little daunting to me. I am getting ready to go to Canada to speak in a few days. Joy has a leadership project that we will work on and present tomorrow night (including making cup cakes for those who attend.) We celebrated Nathan's 19th birthday this weekend--with all the pressure of a birthday breakfast and presents--tonight we will have family over for dinner to celebrate the birthday dinner with them as they are close friends. Wednesday, Sarah and Joel are leaving for a long trip to Boston in search of some possible answers to a new college for Joel (if anyone has any spare room for prayers--please pray for God's favor and grace for Joel as he pursues his dreams!) and need my help to get ready for the trip. I have to teach two Bible study classes tomorrow both for the encouragement of moms and then I have to teach 2 leadership classes  on Wednesday for the junior high children in my coop class. In the midst of this, everyone still wants to eat and wear somewhat clean clothes and I need to pack for the trip and finish preparing my talks for Canada and provide for my two children who will hold down the fort at home. Did I forget to say I am helping Sarah turn in some book proposals to publishers before she leaves on Wednesday. And, oh yeah-- I guess I should at least acknowledge Clay and a few of his needs as I help him get ready for our trip. Not to mention financial issues we are struggling with, long range decisions for Nathan that have to be made this week and on and on. You get the picture! And  I know that each of you have lists of duties, worries and pressures to match mine! I awakened early this morning with the stress and worry about all of these things and more. One thing I know, though, is that it is a familiar place to be. Every season of this journey has been fraught with ups and downs and demands. I have come to view my life as somewhat of an obstacle course never knowing what hurdle will need to be jumped, what mountain to be climbed or what path to be forged.

Yet, the advantage I have is that I have perspective. I have seen the Lord bring me through so many such courses. When I come into His presence and spend time in his word, He has been there for me--I didn't always feel His presence, but I took His word and promises at face value and rested in them and then practiced taking steps of faith, one day, one issue at a time. And now I can look back and see that He has used each part of the journey to shape me--my character, my love, my humility and compassion and learning to rest in Him. But the more I have learned to put all of my issues into his hands (along with my feelings of loneliness, fear, weariness and deep emotion), I have learned to leave them there--with Him who is able and will accomplish His will in His time in my life.

These verses have been some of my anchors:

1. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (I need heart  and mind guarding so that I don't spend unnecessary energy and time on worrying--so I give it into His hands and picture him taking everything and working on my behalf as his daughter.)

2. "In this world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world." John 16:33b    The definition of courage is: the ability of facing difficulty, danger, fear or pain without being overcome by present circumstances and instead acting with resolve and strength of mind and behavior.   I have made a decision of my will to take courage--practicing being strong, practicing habits of putting one foot in front ot the other to believe in a good outcome from a Father who is good. Courage is believing and behaving as though God will indeed be faithful. These habits create a life of faithfulness which lays a foundation of a life well-lived and well-built.

3. "For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances and I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and having need. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." I have had to grow in character as I walk in God's ways--to stretch my capacity to work, to stretch my capacity to love--to resist the down feelings and to learn to cultivate a content attitude and to practice being joyful in front of my children and family.

It has been through these things that I have had to grow up--but obeying the Lord in these places has made me more the person I wanted to be. Obedience usually leads me to peace and ultimate joy. I can indeed only do all that I have to do in the power of His Holy Spirit--not by might or by power--but by His spirit. I can, by faith, and by putting one foot in front of the other, do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

I have told my children that it is best to decide to like and embrace God's will--because having a bad attitude about it will not make it go away and indeed will make the pressures and circumstances worse. I have also noticed that bad attitudes or depressed feelings or content feelings behave much like plants in garden. If I water and nurture the depressed or negative attitudes they are what grow even stronger. If I water and fertilize faith and obedience, they are what grows.

I am a wimp at heart and was never prepared to have such responsibilities. I do think it helps all of us to know that we all feel overwhelmed and most moms never get the break they deserve. (That is why you brave and generous women are my heroines!) But I see that those sweet moms who find themselves able to persevere, to not remain in a complaining spirit, to trust God, are building in their homes wonderful souls who reflect the gold of their mother's multiple decisions of faith in God's word. These children are developing into great people and God knows it is because of the faithful labor of His precious mothers who knew that their labor would result in godly generations.

I must off to start on my list-but this is my prayer for all of you precious ones in the midst of your labors today: "Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.

II Thessalonians 2:16-17

Blessings,

Sally

Sally@wholeheart.org

THE HOLIDAY TABLE

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.- Genesis 1:1

God, the artist created the heavens and the earth. Psalms tells us that the heavens are declaring His glory. He created a place worthy of our admiration and marvel. There are vibrant colors, pinks, fucias, purples, greens. There is texture--a puppies or kitten's fur, rough rocks, gritty sand, cool grass to lie in. Smells--lavendar, roses, coffee, bacon cooking, cook grass to lie in. Sounds to enjoy-the rush of a waterfall, to lure of music, the growl of al lion. Movement to be experienced--dancing in the breeze, running swiftly in the sunshine, swimming in pools of water. Words to ponder--romantic phrases, inspiring exhaltatations, soothing and comforting and loving. Thoughts to think and ponder--scientific order and origins, computers, trains, cars to create, stories to touch the heart, psalms to lift our minds to heaven. There is no end to what we could think of to ponder the artistry of God.

In Romans 1: 20, we read that, "His invisible attributes, His eternal power and His divine nature" have been clearly seen through what was made, so that people are without excuse when they don't believe in Him.

As we were reading this verse this week, a lesson about His design lived itself out before us! Two mountain jays continued to build a nest high in the tree outside of our window. A pesky squirrel creeped up to the nest as he adeptly climbed the tree to the top and was just about to pounce on the imagined eggs that are out of our sight. The two jays began squawking and swept down upon the squirrel and chased him through the yard. It was such a fun sight to behold. Joy commented that if even the birds take care to build a home for their eggs and then fiercely protect the precious eggs, that shouldn't adults, made in His image, do even more!

As I have pondered this the past few days, I have thought that if God's creation bespoke of His attributes, nature, and power, shouldn't the composing of our own homes and crafting of the art inside our homes also speak of His artistry--His nature, His power, His attributes? Colors, sounds, textures, words, music, tastes--all alluring and beautiful and meaningful? The most important attribute, however, should be His diving nature--revealed through the way we live in front of our children. They should be surrounded with the oxygen of His love, thanksgiving to Him, energy to create and work, wisdom to share, --that every day, our children are confronted with the living God by the work of our hands and the labor of love we accomplish in His name and through His power inside of us. Our home life and atmosphere are what truly build excellence and intelligence and soul into the warp and woof of our children's being--the daily investing by each moment lived in the presence and for the audience of our divine creator.

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Many years ago, I started having a "holiday" table--Actually, I do change centerpieces, put out a new array of books, change the front door entrance planter, and redo the coffee tables in my living room and den. But, I want my home to be an interesting, captivating, creative and colorful place. I use small lidded plastic boxes to put the decorations in--(the valentines box has numerous kinds of hearts that friends have given me over the years--some to hang, some candles, some glass trinkets' the fall box contains some leaf and floral arrangements; July 4th box, red, white and blue stuff and a George Washington statue, etc. etc.)

At this point, though, I have what I call a holiday table, that is always changed first. It is the place where people always come in. I bought a large, old English antique hutch at a second hand store. It stands in our entrance hall. The top of the hutch makes a natural place to bring color and beauty in the welcoming part of our home. At Christmas, there is an old creche that my grandmother crafted with her own hands. At Easter, it is decorated with pussy-willows ornamented with delicate painted eggs hung with care, collected in markets in Vienna and Poland when we were missionaries.

This week, I decided to make it a blue table--with spring objects and pretties---a colorful plate with a finch surrounded by boughs of spring, bright blue flowers and a lovely glass maiden, as well as a wonderful dark blue tea pot and cups--just given to me as a surprise by an angel friend who graced me with a gift which completed a small set I had begun. Always on our tables and around the house are candles (always in glass so I don't burn the house down!) and books displayed. I have a couple of lovely children's poetry books that are displayed on every page with a classical piece of art. Great for spring display!

If our homes are filled with beauty and the shadow of God's creativity, our children will not only hear the messages of our devotions and prayers, and school books, but they will breathe in the atmosphere of color, great tastes and smells, dancing music, great stories, loving hand rubs or back tickles and they will expand in their souls to understand that our God, the original artist and designer, is indeed worthy or our love and adoration--because they will know that He is the author of all things great and alive with His pleasure and blessing.

(Now to all of you wonderful moms--I would like to abuse you a little! Please forgive my taking advantage of you. Joel, my 21 year old, and Sarah, my almost 24 year old, are taking a trip to Boston next week. I was wondering if there would be any families along the way who would be willing to keep them in your home overnight! Clay and I would feel so much better knowing they were in good company and safe! They will be traveling toward Boston through Iowa and Illinois and then upward and coming back down on their way to Kentucky to visit my oldest friend who is almost like their own aunty--who lives in Earlington, Ky. If this sounds like an acceptable adventure to any of you, you can write me at Sally@Wholeheart.org or to Joel at jicmusicguy@gmail.com or Sarah at itinerantidealist@gmail.com. They also need a family to stay with in the Boston area. Thanks ahead of time for your loving and generous concern--it has been one of our greatest joys over the years to meet such wonderful friends as we traveled! You can hear some of Joel's music and his newest composition by going to eucharisto.wordpress.com . The Night as Bright as Day is his newest composition. The picture on this website is when he and Sarah had just come out of a rainstorm and had caught a train in England where they worked last summer. A prayer or two for God's guidance and favor in his life would also be appreciated! Aren't I the pushy mom? :) )

Blessings to each of you today and grace in your moments!

Sally (Sally@wholeheart for those of you who have been asking for my personal email! I read everyone--but am often so busy with my daily life, I don't get to answer all that I should, but I do read and pray for my sweet moms in cyberspace each day!)

Articles on this blog copyrighted 2008

Some Monday Thoughts about criticism

The past week, I have been flooded with lots of Biblical thoughts in response to various people and issues in my life--but since I am in the midst of writing two books and taking care of life, I don't have as much time as I would like to post. So if it is rough and unedited, please know that I know. One of my sweet friends was blasted by a "well-meaning" friend about her lovely daughter--who is by God's design a thoughtful introvert and reader and creative type. I just wanted to address this as there are all sorts of people out there who could make us feel inadequate about our mothering or even ponder if we are ruining our children. Job's friends pontificated--elaborated in confident tones and words--about why Job was suffering--and most it was utter foolishness. It only had the effect of discouraging Job and made him introspective--even though he was picked to be in this spiritual battle because of his righteousness. We are always going to have Job's friends in life. (we call them irps at our house--irrational people, plural) We have even been known to say, "oh, I have been irped again!" No matter how diligent you are or how much work you do, you and your spouse and your children are going to behave in an embarrassing manner-or immature way or they are going to break someone else's standard--more than once! And your Job's friends will be sure to tell you what you are doing wrong or how unsocialized your child is or how their children are much more advanced than yours, or whatever.

I am thankful that I finally came to understand that my audience was God. He knows me and my limitations and the limitations of my family and children and He is still on my side.(He strongly supports them whose heart is completely His. Also, He is mindful that we are but dust.) All children are disappointing to someone as some point--that is where faith and unconditional love are made to move in!

Even in ministry and speaking, I have even learned that before I even get up to speak, someone in the audience is against me or doesn't like my choice of dress or something. It is just part of putting my ideals out there. If I listened to every critical comment that was made to me, I would have given up my ministry and my ideals long ago.

However, I am free in God to like who He has made me to love and believe in my children and to be patient and grateful with the husband I have been given--because He who began a good work will complete it in Christ. It is part of a woman's grace to be gracious to those in her family. I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him until the day He fulfills it. If I had given in to my insecurities and inadequacies I felt before others, I would have given up on this road to ideals a long time ago--and it is just a part of the journey--the ups and downs of emotions--I would have always been depressed or become neurotic--which I have been on occasion.

But, I have had so many life circumstances, given to me by God, that have taught me that fitting into the mold or expectations of others was not God's will for me. As a matter of fact, I feel that if I had followed all the advice of friends, I could have easily cultivated rebellion or resentment in the hearts of my children. But, God gave them to me for me to love them, discipline and nurture them according to their bent and according to the wisdom and intuition He would give to me through my mother love.

For instance, all of my children had areas in their lives that didn't fit the box of anyone else. Sarah is a dreamer, introvert, close to her mom--how many times did I hear we were too close to each other. Now, my co-writer and bestest friend--and yet she travels all over the world in ministry, speaking and encouraging others. I am so grateful we are so close. Joel, so abstract and artistic that at times my mom thought he was deaf because he wouldn't hear me when I would talk to him or ask him to do something---he is extremely  responsive and helpful and submissive and loyal--but i had to speak to him eye to eye and face to face to help him know exactly what I wanted him to do. Now he is a composer, creative, brilliant absent minded professor but still dependable and hard working but not at all time oriented--always in the clouds planning or creating.

My Nathan didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 (ended up he had a digestion disorder we didn't know about!) He also is an extrovert and adhd--really, really-and he also has some clinical disorders that have plagued him over the years. (Got them from me.) I had so many people who told me that he just needed more discipline--"you are not spanking him enough!" I also had a number of friends who were critical of his behavior and immature bouts over the years. Instead of supporting me and helping me, I found their critical eye to be devastating. I was so introspective about my inadequacies with my "mysterious" child. And yet, I know in my heart, that harshness and spanking and criticism would created standards that he would never have been able to live up to--I know that I would have alienated him in his heart from me.

As I would love Nate and validated him whenever I could, spent every day of his schooling years sitting with him through hours and hours in reading and math and written work--when everyone else told me he needed more independence. I had a sense that this great spirited child was wonderful and responded to attention (middle child--second boy!) and that he was soaking up my passion and love and stories deep in his heart.

Joy is a fire-cracker, confident, a performer, outgoing, always wants to be doing something---strong sense of personal justice and ready to fight you about it! But a great heart and afterall, she has grown up around 5 parents! Each one was a different recipe and required different amounts of heat! Yet, none of them has fit the  mold--and it was just to much pressure to worry about, anyway. I knew that God wanted me to enjoy life and to be flexible and creative with the particular puzzle he gave me to solve.

We held the line on chores and helping all to be excellent in character and behavior and serving people and in learning little by little to being loving and patient and kind in relationships, but it was year in year out and my very strong spirited children were always resilient! There were, however, many, many ups and downs. I wish I had been more patient with all of my children, really as I think about it and kissed and hugged them at nights all that they needed. (Sometimes Nate would forget that I had prayed with him and wanted one more assurance prayer. I would think, "Am I spoiling him? Is he manipulating me?" I know now that his disorders were beyond him--he responded so well to gentleness and love along side training and holding a high standard in our family. I had two other ocd children who felt more secure when I gave them the long rituals of hug, kiss, pray, absolve guilt, hug, kiss again. But really, what did it cost me?

Just this morning, all four happened to be home, lounging with the totally depraved golden retriever in our midst as Joel played his new composition which he is going to perform for Berklee school of music in Boston at the end of the month. (Please pray for favor for him!) We were enjoying, critiquing,  chatting--all in our pajamas at 10 in the morning and I am here thanking God that my children are such wonderful individuals--filled and broad and alive souls, dreaming about the areas of life they will conquer.

But now I know that some of it was just personality--I myself often feel that my personality is too much for some people--I am strong and passionate and opinionated and restless and adventuresome--a one per center as Myers Briggs says--and I often feel that way amongst crowds! Yet, I believe God equipped me with this out of the box personality because of His calling on my life--to teach and write and travel and speak and host and everything else He has put in my life to do--a part of my dna.

As to my real out of the boxer, not much has changed, but I have changed and experience so much joy with knowing him. At almost 19, Nate is still very much out of the box, too--loud, dresses his own way, has all sorts of interesting friends, musical tastes and activities--but I love who God made him. He is intelligent and insightful (all that reading and all those passionate devotions.) He has a heart for the lost and has a real ministry with the "far out" looking kids. He is writing incredible music and has big dreams--quite a natural performer--music, acting, etc.--definitely an artist sort. He loves his mom and dad and has had to take some strong stands for the Lord, over and over again and has passed many tests of integrity--but trusts Him every day. He has written non-negotiables in his cell phone--he is not a tame lion, but he is God's and I believe that God has great plans for his life. He doesn't fit the mold, but then neither have Clay and I, or Sarah or Joel or Nathan or Joy. All that to say, live true to your own family culture--and be faithful to God. Don't perform for others, but live daily in His freedom and power and grace. We have been criticized for years by many people for our ideals. We have had to work through many pathways of difficulty.

But I only wish I had just rested in the Lord more and fretted less about the details of life that seemed to loom large in my mind. Not that I have already become perfect, as Paul says, but I press on for the upward calling of God in Christ Jesus. I have to keep reminding myself to believe in God and to trust HIm every day and to wait for more prayers for all of us to be answered--especially as I watch my children launch into life.

I have lived through so many seasons of fear and see that the hand of God was working and that He is loving and He has used all things to work together in our lives. I seek to enjoy each day as an adventure in God's hands and nurture a heart that has learned to enjoy the ride. I don't know how it will all turn out--but I know who will be there to do things beyond my own imagination and yet in the end, according to His will which is what I really want. It is for freedom that Christ set us free--give your children the gift of freedom from fear, from other's criticism and from performance. Blessings--more later as I have time!

Loving Well

"In the twilight of our lives, we will be judged on how we have loved."St. John of the Cross

Ahhhhhh! Finally, after ten days, I have more than five minutes to myself! It is truly a phantom to think that any woman can do it all! I have found in my own life, that if I am attending to the needs of my children, Clay,home, close friends and family, I really have to economize and prioritize my time, as my life pretty much demands every moment of me! I do, more and more with each passing day, sense how important my role as a mother and godly woman is and I do get such joy out of it--as I daily see the results of my many years of striving toward the goal of being a woman after God's own heart and serving those around me for His glory.

Now don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I always feel loving towards these strange people who inhabit my home! But because of my love for the Lord, which is more dear to me each year, I keep putting one step in front of the other and see, with the eyes of my heart and mind, the power of my work to fill souls with great thoughts and causes and love for God's kingdom. Mostly, though,I see more clearly how much I am a living picture of God's reality every day, by exhibiting the fruit of the spirit, by giving cups of cold, refreshing water, by serving and giving of myself and my wisdom and teaching and by always taking the initiative to speak life and joy and wisdom on a daily regular basis—by loving these others with all of my heart.

We once had a friend who was very pious. Her attempts to be spiritual and to pray and to "work" for God, I am convinced, were out of a heart that was striving to figure out how to really know God and serve Him sincerely. Yet, the result of all the denying of self, and speaking piously and working, working, working, left most the people in her life feeling guilty and feeling a bit cold and far off from her. Since it is obvious she had not experienced the grace and peace of God, she could only give out of a soul of performance which brings about death to  relationship. She often only spoke in religious phrases and with each passing month seemed more cold and drained of life. Just the result she wouldn't want.

As I have been pondering this situation, in contrast, I have realized that when I am in the presence of someone who really walks with God, I feel there is such an evidence of life and joy and goodness and well-being and grace and faith. When one is washed with the unconditional love and grace and mercy of God, the result is peace and thankfulness of heart and humility. Of course the few that I can see really exhibit the life of the Lord, aren't above discouragement or humanity, but there is a palpable sense of a way of walking with God and having made a decision to please Him and to trust Him through the ups and downs of life.

There is a security I feel in being with them, because I know their sails have been set toward the King and His Kingdom and I can trust in their integrity to continue journeying in the right direction with Him at the helm. I feel a rest in my relationship with such people because I know I am safe in the hands of mature, seasoned lovers of God who will love me and accept me and point me to Him gently as we walk this road of life in fellowship.

On Saturday, we were getting ready for Easter lunch in which we had about a dozen people coming for lunch. Joy had peeled hard-boiled eggs to make deviled eggs. She then got a bright idea of how to make it easier, even though I had suggested the easiest way to fill the eggs. The result was a mess everywhere--I have never seen so much egg yellow on the hands of any one individual! How in the world had she managed to make such a mess? This at the end of a long afternoon of cooking and counseling another teen! She could sense how irritated I was with her! The Lord then gave me eyes to see this hormonal, young woman-my sweet little girl in the throes of growing up. She had "hurt" eyes as she watched me clean up her mess! Then I sat her down, and after having a couple of minutes to think about what I was going to say, I told her how much I appreciate all the ways she had been available to help me in setting the table and going shopping and putting up with the several hours of work we had all done. I told her that I didn't always get my cooking right and how frustrated I often felt when I had put a lot of time into something like making bread or trying a new recipe, when it failed or tasted terrible. I told her I loved her said, "I am sorry if I offended you in any way. You are such a treasure to me and I know you were trying to do a good job. Thanks so much for all the ways you have helped me this week."

The result was that a few minutes later, she climbed into my lap, all long, gangly almost teenage legs and all and said, "I am so thankful that you always love me, mommy." a kiss on the cheek and she was gone.

I know that the older I get and the more I see my own selfishness and immaturity, the more grateful I am that I know I don't have to perform for the Lord. He is mindful that I am but dust, and yet He still calls me His own special child. The amount of times in which He has had to bear with me and love me and give me grace has made me so much more apt to love and forgive and bear with my sweet, but immature children and husband and friends. I know they will make mistakes and be selfish and sinful just like me, but I know that I can only please God and have peace in my own heart when I choose to love them back. And in loving them, my own heart swells with more love and good thoughts and a generous heart.

For instance, this is how it works in my own life. Sometimes, I will have a critical thought toward Clay or the kids or a friend. I know that if I foster the thought, it nurtures self-righteousness and resentment and anger. But when I choose to look at the relationship with eyes of love, to take the thought or attitude captive, I can get perspective--this is a person dear to me, I have a history with this person, they have a personality that comes with many flaws as mine is---I am not primarily the focus of their lives--they do not live to hurt my feelings! I need to remember that love covers a multitude of sin. (Or I remember that this person is immature toddler or exhausted baby or hormonal young woman or middle aged hormonal woman or somewhat retarded "teen" young man or a tired, worn-out husband from days of work.) Then I remember how much I need grace in all of my own fragile times. I also call to mind--I will please my precious, patient Lord Jesus if I obediently act in love. So, I cover the person with grace, say words of patience and kindness and then I am amazed that my feelings of love usually follow and the relationship even gets better. This is not a formula that always works--I am not looking for always having the right results--but it is a way of life, that practiced over years and years, has turned my heart more towards loving and resting and accepting and in return being so blessed in such love that the Lord pours out into my heart. I have learned that if I sow love, I will reap love. Such a blessing to me in return. And all learned at the feet of He who loves me most and best.

Indeed, in the end, how we loved will be a measure of how we lived. May God give you grace today to love well and to walk on His pathway of love and grace.

Asheville--writing a book in an old, cold house!

I can't tell you in words how fun, precious, validating and emotionally affirming to have my own daughter be my own giggly best friend. I can't tell you how very much I enjoy her company. She put me to bed last night with a gentle head rub and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. As I work on a book long dreamed about, but too much to do by myself, I knew that I would need Sarah's help with some of the details of our own family traditions as I wrote the main sections and chapters. It is going to be a very long book--like educating the whole hearted child. But I needed help from one whom I consider the better writer. So we have found ourselves here, in Asheville, as we mentioned in our articles this week. But though our B&B is delightful and we have had absolutely wonderful breakfasts served to us in our room, we have found that this room in the shade, in the early morning hours is quite chilly and just a tiny bit too uncomfortable for writing. So, we turned our little gas fire-place to high and both donned scarves and a throw and wrapped in our cloaks, we both proceeded to write our hearts out. Just thought you would enjoy seeing the snuggling writers in all our glory--no make up-in frumpy, comfy clothes changing the world with our dreams, ideas, coffee, giggles, two computers and shawls! Pray for us to be inspired! Just one day left and we have to go face the real world of home, people, dogs, messes, hugs and kisses and meal times yet again! But in my heart, I will have one more precious memory of a crazy week of artists together playing at this creative work unified in harmony and sweet friendship and deep affection.

PS Lest you think we have suffered too much, we have had one great meal a day (pan fried trout with blackberry sauce last night! Dark Chocolate mousse, for dessert) split of course so we can afford it!  and at least one hour of walking a day amongst old turn of the century houses, fields beginning to bloom with lilting daffodils and shops that beg us to come in. Also, necessary is a pot of tea sometime in the afternoon at some place of our choosing! Makes for more meaningful writing and productivity. I am indeed blessed.

Celebrating Life in the midst of the mundane and ordinary days

Today I know that I could make many of you jealous! I am sitting by candlelight, sipping coffee listening to a melancholy instrumental cd while sharing a breakfast soufflé with my dearest best friend, Sarah! (and it is only 9 o’clock in the morning!) After conferences and travel and wearing ourselves out, and homeschooling all along the way, we always plan something fun in March. March is that middle of the spring season time which is neither spring or summer and not a holiday time—cold and snow still abound for us in Colorado—and usually the moms I know are a little bit weary of the school year and  “feeling” no inspiration ahead! That is exactly why I almost always take a break in March. I make up my own holiday time for just a few days—because my soul needs rest and refreshment. This is a long journey and if I am to make it to the end with resilience, I have to plan for refreshment along the way! Once, a friend told Sarah that her love for beauty seemed a bit frivolous. However, I have always told my children that they are responsible to keep a light burning in their souls—whatever it takes. Creating beauty and joyful moments in the midst of a fallen, sad world is what gives light to others and nurtures light in our own soul. I am not ignoring the pain or difficulties, as the still abound in my life—but admitting that in order to keep going and giving endlessly for many years to come—I have to take responsibility for replenishing my soul and seeking to fill the spiritual, emotional and physical cup of my life with nourishment. Spending time with Sarah—my sweet daughter—or with one of my dearest friends who really knows me—always fills my soul. Filling my mind with encouragement and truth always gives me guidance. Resting and exercising (walking is my therapy!) gives my body a boost.  Clay and I had a lovely dinner all by our selves last week. Joy and I went shopping and I gave her a small budget for taking us to shops and for a treat—we had a blast talking. I took both the boys on dates alone to Panera’s for coffee and a treat of their choice. I used to take the kids when they were little on a drive to the mountains with a great book on tape in the car and hot chocolate at a little café—or breakfast out at a fun mountain eatery.

Going for long walks or hiking, reading a magazine or frivolous book, sleeping in, having a tea party or lunch in the middle of the week with kids and moms for no reason, creating a scavenger hunt in the house for kids, hiding wooden painted Polish eggs all over the house for my friend’s kids while the moms gather for gabbing, taking a long extended bubble bath with divine music and candlelight and not answering the phone or the door; going to a favorite café in the middle of the week in a downtown area—even if we all share meals or just get soup (which we are likely to do with our budget tight from 3 college age kids with cars and jobs and school costs!)  Whatever sounds good and within reason, I do because I know the principle of the Sabbath—God designed for us to have and to take rest because without it, we do not endure well or see Him clearly or have the strength to believe in order to get perspective.

This is the third year I have been able to get away with Sarah for a few days in Asheville, NC—one of our favorite cities in the world. Wonderful trails to walk, great cafes in which to have savory food or a sumptuous treat and time to breathe in the goodness of long quiet times and walks amongst old, beautiful Victorian houses. Clay graciously assented to our several day trip as we look for places in the south for a potential mom’s conference next year, as well as working on a new book 4-6 hours a day. Very sweet friends are hosting Joy for a week long of total pleasure and fun while we are sequestered away to write. But mostly, just investing rest and pleasure and goodness and beauty so that we can go back home to give and give and give again—but with a smile on our face! So, take time this week to do something unexpected that will indeed celebrate God’s goodness and that will bless everyone in your home! Give your body and soul and mind a rest and time to refuel! Blessings, Sally

Snow on a Sunday afternoon

Today was a fun day. Since we can't all get together for devotionals anymore during the week with everyone's various schedules, we do a big breakfast and devos on Sunday mornings. Candlelight, music, coffee and pajama'd folks circling around. Today was a soufle, fresh fruit, cinnamon rolls and hash browns. It was fun to see how excited and loud everyone got when we got into a discussion from I John. I do have great memories of how our family has developed over the years into highly opinionated, articulate people. Sometimes it is exhausting, but today was fun.

It was snowing profusely and swirling in dancing gusts. A great day to stay inside and sit by the fire. Sometimes at 54, I think I should be sipping tea and contemplating my memoirs. But, I still have 12 year old who wants to play, so we just had to go out into the 22 degree weather and play. I followed in her footsteps (she had gone ahead to hide in a tree) and found my way through knee deep snow on a path that led to Sir Noble--the tallest pine tree in the area where Joy was hiding from me. We were originally going to meet at the top of the world (the top of the hill where we can look at the view of the mountain range), but after I trounced through Merryman's passage ( the first part of the path), and on to the tree, I thought better of getting any deeper than knee high as I was already falling through her footsteps to the ground below. Joy and her exploring friend have named every section and landmark and played Robin Hood and thieves and princesses and orphans amongst the trees and paths amongst the houses. Great, rousing blowing wind and sparkling snow and a fun memory with my elf who keeps me young and celebrating the important moments of life.

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What a privilege it was to be in our conferences in Colorado, California and Texas to be amongst such wonderful mothers. My fellowship with all of you was so precious and being in the company of such committed women gave me more strength to keep going in my own role as a mom. Many sweet moms are up against such obstacles with illnesses, difficult marriages or working through the journey as single moms, knowing the weariness of the journey of constant with little or no support and financial constraints, and many having no background or model to follow. And yet, I was so encouraged by your stories and seeing many pictures of your children—you are my heroes because I know personally the work such a life requires, but I also know that your labor is not in vain and eternity and history will be different because of your great work of faith.

As always happened, when I returned from being on the road off and on for six weeks, including a trip for a funeral, I found my energy was somewhat depleted and the piles needed taming. But I am used to this from 10 years of doing it. I give myself and our family grace—we sleep later hours, leave piles unattended, school undone—knowing that in due time we will attack them all and get it all done in due season. I give us time to catch back up to life. We eat easy or store bought meals and paper plates for ease of cleaning, do leisurely, fun, “cup-filling” activities to give all of us who are depleted in the expending of so much energy, traveling and serving, a time to restore. It used to overwhelm me, but as I have studied the whole concept of seasons and even as I worked on the new parts of my book, I have found grace in submitting to the limitations of each season and leaning into it instead of resisting it. My passion is rekindled by being with all the sweet moms, my body begins to catch up, my emotions smooth out and the piles gradually disappear and I am then caught up again in the grand call that I have learned to love so much! Blessings and sunshine to all of you this week! Love and grace to you in the midst of walking with Him, who so wisely appointed us to this grand call! Sally (Sally@wholeheart.org)

PS Below is a dictionary definition, and a quotation as well as some of my own commentary on some excellent words written over 100 years ago—that still apply today! Enjoy!

The Civilizing of Our Nation

civ·i·lize 1. to create a high level of culture 2. to teach somebody to behave in a more socially, morally and culturally acceptable way Enlighten, cultivate, improve, advance, subdue in terms of a people or nation.

“The home is the fountain of civilization. The value and character and appetites of a people are greatly determined by the reading, training and cultivating of moral and spiritual appetites in the home.

Mothers, you are the divinely-appointed teachers and guides of your children; and any attempt to free yourselves of this duty is in direct opposition to the will of God. If you neglect them, the consequences are swift and sure. …, Spend most of your time with your children. Sleep near them, attend and dress and wash them; let them eat with their mother and father; be their companion and friend in all things and at all times.”

From Mother, Home and Heaven from Poetic, prose and literature Of all ages and all lands. Copyright 1878-1880

The above quotations were gleaned from a wonderful book that a friend gave to me at our Dallas conference. The words written over a hundred years ago are still very powerful today. This, in a culture where the imagination of the importance of mothers to the overall well-being of soul of the next generation has been lost. How affirming it is to see that truth of past generations still applies to us today.

Often, I find that in the absence of a clear enough vision for their children and homes, mothers replace conviction and vision with lots of activities and distractions for their children. This hyper-activity and rushing around to an endless list of expensive lessons and experiences and the buying of the newest expensive curriculum and technological options make moms feel like they are accomplishing something. However, when the home-life of children is rich with excellent, classic literature, passionate Biblical devotions, rousing dinner-table discussions around sumptuous, tasty meals, lots of love and affection given and household chores attended to—and a child will become committed to all that is good and excellent and develop a moral and compassionate soul for all the divinely important values.

From the beginning of time, God created the home to be a place sufficient to nurture genius, excellence, graciousness and grand civility. But the key factor is nothing that can be purchased or owned. The accomplishment of this grand life is found only in the soul of a mother, through the power of the Holy Spirit, personally mentoring her children.

It is a personal relationship with a real person whose soul is alive in which the deepest imprints of life are given. The secrets and deep emotions shared during the goodnight hours in which a the soul of a child is tender and open; the comfort of warm, home-made food shared in the early evening as ideas are shared and discussed and prayers and devotions given; the laughter, stories, advice given in the midst of washing dishes together or sharing of a meal; the heroic and riveting stories read aloud and shared together that establish common patterns of morality, values and dreams in the comfort of the blazing hearth, mugs of steaming hot chocolate and squishing against each other on a den couch are those heavenly things which are food to the soul and nourishment to the mind and conscience of a child fully awake to all that is important in life.

There is no computer, television, software or text book that can pass on such passion, love and motivation.

It is indeed the personal touch of a mother’s heart that creates grand civility, deep affection, care and commitment to the foundations of a family. When the invisible strings of a mother’s heart are tied to the heart of her children through loving sacrifice and nurture, the stability and foundations of a nation become secure and stable. A mother, living well in her God-ordained role, is of great beauty and inestimable value to the future history of any generation. Her impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation. Fun, comfort, humor, graciousness, spiritual passion, compassion for the lost, hospitality, chores, meals, training, life-giving words, hours and hours of listening and playing and praying and reading—all are parts of the mosaic which go into the process of soul development.

Life and love and Kingdom work

Well, we made it through our last couple of weeks and are coming up for air before leaving for our Texas conference next Wednesday. I so appreciate the many emails, comments and cards I have received. Our family made it more gracefully through this trying time because of many of you. It is so comforting to hear life-giving words from friends and we appreciate you all very much.

We also had a wonderful trip to California. Though pretty tired, we had angels who met us in Anaheim and held up our arms as we tried to minister to the sweet moms who attended. It was such a great time of fellowship and encouragement with so many of you and lots of smaller meetings as well. I love your noble and enthusiastic hearts--what great moms you all are! So many of you said that you felt you had a whole new perspective on life. I am so grateful to hear your great comments. The most common thing people said at this conference and at the last was, "I wish I have invited more friends to come--I didn't know how much I needed this and am so thankful I made it. Just wish my other friends had come cause they needed encouragement, too." I have seen so often in my own life that the busy-ness and demands and financial pressures and time pressures sometimes immobilize me and I stay home from more activities just because I am pooped!

But I did see, again, how many moms need to be in a room full of moms like themselves, called to their own ideals and to renew their minds. It is why we keep doing it year after year. For all of you who came, we appreciate you supporting our  ministry by attending, as it helps us to pay our staff and put more parenting books into print!

It always helps me to be with so many of you! Thanks for your encouraging words. (I do have to say that leaving Colorado for the airport in minus 10 degree weather in the midst of a snowstorm--and arriving in 65 degree California--with green grass and flowers all around--was also a boon to us! We thawed out and really enjoyed our "animal style" In and Out Burgers" (sauteed onions, mustard and melted cheese--gooey and good!) and our trip Saturday night to Downtown Disney--just to stroll amidst the lights and people and our once a year stroll on the beach in Laguna--(which is where my picture was taken for the top of my blog last year--a moment of fun at Laguna Beach, where we went when I was a little girl!)

Just a couple of thoughts. I have been speaking through the seasons of a mother's heart at these conferences. Spring--time for rejoicing and saying, "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Learning to celebrate life and all the spring seasons takes a choice of the heart and a submission to the limitations of each season.

Summer is a time for cultivating and gardening of the souls and planting seeds and foundations. Summer is just for a season and once the season is over, there is no more time to cultivate or garden--The window of opportunity to train and instruct and inspire in eternal values and great thoughts suddenly closes--so how important it is to really take advantage of that season and know just what you want to sow and how you want to immulate the reality of God and His character during that planting season.

Fall, is when one season of life is closing (toddlerhood, elementary, preteens, teenage and college) Falls are a time of readjusting expectations, choosing to be flexible with the life God brings and choosing to accept the harvest for what it is, while planning to be faithful to plant well the next summer season. Learning to accept those ideals that were never grasped and planning for how to continue forging a godly heritage in new seasons.

Winter--the season when all appears to be dead and the times are dark and sometimes overwhelming. During this season, the soul is deepened like in no other season--as roots are pushing downward into God's word and sap is restoring by learning to wait patiently for God's answers--and straining towards Him. In winter, souls are made and godliness and faith is forged--no one becomes seasoned and mature in faith or compassionate or ministry oriented without winters--they reveal the true character of our souls and stretch our faith.

So many moms I know are presently in winter seasons. It seemed this conference talk opened many eyes to the reality of the many seasons and demands of a mom and many were encouraged to remain faithful and true as a result of our study of scripture together during this particular conference talk.

Clay and I committed to bringing God's kingdom to bear in the lives of families all over the world to help equip them and to inspire them 27 years ago. We have seen, by God's grace, much ground taken for His cause. Yet, because Satan literally hates for us to be about God's business in helping families to restore their vision for loving and protecting their children, we have had many, many years of difficulty and spiritual warfare. Satan hates for people to be committed to the saving and building of children--just think of how he tried to destroy a whole generation of babies when Christ was born--to attempt to kill baby Jesus. What consequences would have been wrought in history if he could have stopped baby Jesus from becoming the savior of the world. He also hates for us to raise such babies for God's kingdom and to build them into soldiers!

We have definitely had to weather much discouragement and many dark feelings, but I do believe that the longer we persevere, the more we see the consequences of the battle are great in our lifetime and at this time in history. May He give you grace, encouragement and strength to persevere in your own parenting journey--don't give up! Don't throw away your ideals--they are working in due time to prepare a strong, light-filled generation who will stand for Christ in the difficult days ahead and it is the most important work you will do for His kingdom.

Tell your friends who still have the opportunity to try to come to the Texas conference. (Put your curser on the sidebar about the Texas conference!) We are about building moms and undergirding them and loving them as they continue this great road of parenting for His kingdom. We so appreciate those who pray for us and covet your prayers for the trip to Texas, for all of our health (Joy, and all of her friends in history coop have strep!), for safety and for God's spirit to work mightily through us and in the lives of all the precious moms who attend!

Finally, be sure to tell your sweet ones how much you love them. Take the time to celebrate your love as a family this Valentine's day! We will have a Sunday morning breakfast with cinnamon rolls and cheese eggs, and verbally express what we love and appreciate about each dear person in our family and then close in thanksgiving prayers to our supreme lover for His faithful and everlasting love for us. May He fill your week with His love and grace. My favorite two family verses for this time are "Love covers a multitude of sin!"(mine and those of my children and husband!) and "Love is a perfect bond of unity." Love gives grace and life each and every day to the home who rests in the unconditional love that Christ provides for us each and every day!

Blessings upon blessings!

Sally

Passing from pain to eternal light

Thanks so much to all of you who have been praying for our family in regards to my brother's illness. My oldest brother, Robert Bone, slipped into the presence of the Lord last night. I know that he is so free, now, from pain and the burdens he bore in this life and so blessed to be in the presence of Jesus! Please keep our family in your prayers in the days ahead as we complete our conferences and go to the memorial service. Also, pray that God's grace and love would be especially evident to his three children. Peace of the Lord be with you. Sally

Beauty--an essential source of Life!

I so enjoyed seeing so many of you at the conference in Colorado Springs last weekend. You are all my heroines. I receive so many emails and letters and thoughtful expressions of support and encouragement for our ministry. I really keep going because of so many of you. I am sorry that I am not on top of all of my correspondence, but I do read every letter and comment and it really helps me to keep writing and speaking. I have been quite weary from the past few weeks of events, and so especially appreciate those of you who have prayed for me! Sarah, my lovely daughter, is one of the speakers at our conferences this year. So many women said how much she really encouraged them and touched their heart. I thought I would put an excerpt from The Mom Walk that would give you a little glimpse into her life and how she has been a blessing to me. This story was about January and a friend sent it to me yesterday, so I thought I would pass it on. Please encourage your friends in California and Texas to come to a conference as we still have some room left in both conferences. It seems that the encouragement of the Holy Spirit is palpable! We teach freedom, grace, love and joy in the journey and have lots of foundational encouragement for your precious moms. Hope you have a good week!

Blessings,

Sally (Sally@wholeheart.org)

“When the soap had been measured into the washer, I grabbed a pile of clean shirts and ran upstairs in a huff to Sarah’s bedroom to find out when she was leaving for work and why it took so incredibly long for her to remember to get her laundry off the dryer. I knocked on her door loudly, still catching my breath. Her muffled voice from the other side of the door calmly bade me enter, and I did in a great hurry, feeling a need to keep up my momentum. But as I stumbled in, the sight of her stopped me dead in my tracks. I just stood there and, for an instant, was quiet.

Amid my own hurry and bustle to get the day started I had quite forgotten to spend any time in quiet. Surely with the holidays we’d had enough times to sit and be in beauty. But apparently Sarah didn’t think so. She was beginning her January in quite a different way, and I was magnetically drawn into her world. She sat in her maroon chair, regarding me quite serenely with a book in one hand and a pen in the other. Haunting piano music was playing through the room (I found out it was the soundtrack to the new Pride and Prejudice movie) and three tiny vanilla candles flickered in different spots around the room.

The unhurried beauty of the room was strongly present all around me, evidence of Sarah’s determination to make room for loveliness and serenity in her days. She had matted small prints and postcards from our trips and arranged them along her walls and in lines above the shelves that held her numerous and much-beloved books. A barely wilting Christmas rose stood in a tiny crystal vase on her windowsill, and there were pine branches still fragrant in a basket by the door.

A basket of cards and writing paper with her favorite pen sat next to her rolltop desk, guarded by the brightly painted eyes of her Matryoshka dolls. I noticed a new picture on her shelf too; a brightly sketched pair of birds, done by an artist she had just discovered in Canada. There was color, symmetry, and music, and everywhere I looked, I was confronted with the richness of a soul made visible in the world it created and quite determined to enjoy this moment despite the rush. I felt stopped in my tracks by the sudden presence of this choice to begin the busy day in an instant of soul-beauty instead of frenzied worry and hurry. I felt I was somehow catching my mental breath.

“Hi, Mom,” she said, raising her eyebrows in a can-I-help-you sort of look. I waited a minute before replying, letting my pulse (if she only knew) return to normal. “Here’s your laundry,” I said slowly when my breath came back. In the presence of her room I didn’t even remind her that it had been sitting on the dryer for two weeks. Nor did I notice the lumpy pile of new laundry, expertly concealed with a blanket next to her closet. I simply smiled and took the paper she handed me as I walked out of the room.

I had thought the note she handed me was some sort of information, but as I glanced down, I saw that it was a card for me, written just that morning. Dropping into my desk chair, I opened it and read:

Sweet Mom,

Just thought I’d tell you that I’m praying for you as you go back to routine life. I just know that God is going to bless you soon. You are so faithful and have such an enduring heart (I’ve been reading Revelation and one of the big themes I’ve caught is endurance), and God is going to bring greatness and beauty out of your perseverance. God will redeem all of us kids because of you. He’ll bless you with the fulfillment of your dreams, and He will make my way and all of our ways straight before us. He will do something new!

So don’t be discouraged as you sit and pound away at your book and tame all the messes. Great things are going to happen and I love you so much - and that’s got to count for something.

So blessings and love and peace of Christ be with you.

Your Sarah

In that moment I felt as if I had been given a gift through my daughter. It was as if in the rush of my day, God had put it on her heart to stop me in my tracks and call me back to a spirit of calm and beauty. Sarah embodied for me what my soul held so dear - a life reflecting the beautiful reality, goodness, and love of God because of her filled soul.

Sitting in my chair and catching my breath, I realized that my sudden rush of feeling overwhelmed, I had completely lost sight of what mattered. Yes, the house needed to be cleaned and presents delivered to their various new spots and food needed to be bought for the cupboard. But it was all so that our home would be a haven, a place rich with life and warm with thought, love, and beauty. My spirit that morning, thought, was one of frenzied worry that cared only that things get done, not that people be loved or life enjoyed.

Glancing up as I thought this, my eyes caught a glimpse of Sarah’s present to me that year. For Christmas she had given me a hand-drawn scene of an old country home by a pinewood, bathed in the light of a brightly setting sun. In the sunset sky, she had inscribed my favorite verses of the year (Psalm 16:5-6) in carefully formed calligraphy:

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup.

You support my lot.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places,

Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.

Beautiful to me…Sarah represented a physical reality of the philosophy that the Lord wants me to continue to embrace. The Lord’s presence in my life is beautiful, and I want my spirit to be one that accepts it in thanks and appreciation - even on January Monday mornings…

…Instead of hurrying downstairs, I took a deep breath and walked away slowly, planning what I would do next. I consciously made a decision to brush away my previous mental list of important things to accomplish and replaced it with the high priority of focusing my efforts on how to communicate love in the hours left in my day.

I put on the kettle to make Joy a cup of vanilla-almond tea. I lit every candle I could find in my little living room and turned on my favorite Celtic CD. I lit the gas fireplace so that we could have a glowing fire and made a piece of cinnamon toast to accompany my little girl’s tea. Then I called her in and invited her to snuggle up next to me on our cozy, overstuffed couch. I kissed her sweet head and told her how glad I was to have time alone with her. We finished reading together the end of the book, Heidi, cloaked in our own spell of beauty and intimacy…

…At the end of our time and to my great surprise, she suddenly turned her eyes to me very tenderly and said, “You know, Mom, I would rather have time alone with you when than even my Christmas presents and parties. I missed you when we were so busy. I just love it when we spend time alone. It makes me feel so special.”

God had used Sarah to gently remind me that, after all, I had another sweet girl just waiting for me to help her become another princess for His glory. And it wouldn’t require hurry or bustle or modeled irritation at the busyness of the world. It required love, and love expressed tangibly through time, words, and lots of beauty Love, it seemed, truly was the greatest gift after all.”