Steadfast Love of the Lord

Sweet Wonderful Moms, I awakened this morning and found this in my email from another sweet mom:

I am sitting here alone, at 10pm, and was having one of those evenings feeling completely overwhelmed with homeschooling and not wanting to look at anymore curriculums, one of which I have repacked on my floor waiting to be shipped back…a familiar scene. I love reading with my kids and being a mom, but sometimes I feel I have NO IDEA what I am doing and am not so sure why God gave me this particular job. And I sat down here and thought to myself, I wonder if anyone else feels this way."

So many, many times, we as moms have to face the challenges, mystery, difficulties and fears alone. But you are never alone! The God who created your children is the God who picked you to be their mother. He is your champion and will be your guide. He who began a good work will complete it in Christ.

This verse came to mind: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

These words to a song were based off of Lamentations where Jeremiah despaired of His life--but God used him profoundly to change cultures through his writings in his lifetime and beyond. He probably had no idea of how much God would use Him. He didn't feel strategic--just depressed! Yet he took his will to this place of acknowledging His wonderful God and God's faithfulness. He is our model.

Just yesterday, I was having a great day. Had a quiet time in the morning, went to a doctor's appointment and then took Joy out to lunch all by herself and was feeling good about my day--ticking off all that needed to be done for our trip ahead. Then we went to Walmart and a demon attacked us--:) We had the silliest fuss about when I had last bought her some lotion she used. It was so silly and we were both sure we were right and I walked up and down the isles of walmart giving her a lecture and huffing. The bad cloud followed us home--even after I had asked forgiveness and she had asked my forgiveness--just lots of crying and struggling before we could finally end the day--(Do I remember what 13 feels like?)

Found myself thinking, I am not qualified to be in ministry--How can I be so petty? No matter what I tried today, everyone ended in some sort of cloud--Clay over the economy, Sarah in the midst of book deadlines, and me thinking that this mothering thing goes on and on! But, then, I committed it all into the Lord's hands. Talked with Him about "You know me, Lord, and the petty-ness of my day. I am so glad you are with me and that you love all of us. You are my comfort. Thank you for your presence and blessing and strength every day--even a day like this. I love you."

His love indeed never ceases. He loves you and all of your hormonal children and all of your toddlers and all of your wild boys and fussy girls--the whole lot. And His mercies are new every morning--may you know His faithfulness today! I have prayed for all you sweet moms who need to know you are not forgotten.

Stuff and Things

Hi, Sweet Friends, I have been somewhat absent from this blog and may be somewhat inconsistent again in the weeks ahead. I have never accepted so much ministry commitments at once, but the Lord seems to be opening doors that He wants us to walk through. I want to finish Joy, my thirteen year old, well. So I have to be vigilant to see that she  gets the time, attention, discipleship, and education that all of the other kids received. But, Joy was born with that personality that is driven and so she is not hard to direct. I have to keep her from being committed to too many activities as she is an extrovert and likes to be on the go and is doing and working all the time.

I did want to let many of you know about our conferences this year. Our Mom's conferences seem to be such a wonderful place where God meets with us in our ideals, vision and need. It has been such a blessing to be a part of what the Lord does through these conferences over the last 11 years! I hope that the economic issues in our culture will not keep too many moms from coming as I think the Lord works in such an amazing way to bring life and inspiration to many that feeds their souls for many months. So if you are going to be in an area where we will host these conferences, be sure to save your money now and to bring a friend as it is such a great time of fellowship and encouragement! I am also excited about this year, because we will try to have a pre-conference training for those moms interested in leading Mom Heart Groups. I have two new guest speakers joining me, as well as Sarah and me speaking and of course we will have music, chocolate, a great luncheon, a sweet favor and lots of great fellowship. We will be developing online brochures to send out to our email list this year and would so appreciate it if any of you bloggers could let people in your area know about the conferences. We started these mom conference in 1998 because we wanted to spiritually and emotionally fortify moms in their great calling to build a godly legacy in their own home. We try to make it as spiritually refreshing and encouraging and helpful as we can. 

 The following is the conference schedule:                 December 29-January 3 Orlando, Fl. AMTC                 January 23-24 Charlotte, NC--a Wholehearted Mom's conference in a church there                 February 6-7  Costa Mesa, Ca--Whole Hearted Mom's conference in a hotel                 February 20-21 Dallas/Ft. Worth Whole Hearted Mom's conference Marriot Hotel                 February 27-28--Apologia Women's conference Baltimore area                 March 3-4 Mom's weekend in Raleigh, North Carolina                 March 10-11 Heart's at Home conference in Illinois

Then, God willing, we will be doing a strategic mission trip in Asia for three weeks in multiple cities and to a variety of groups. Hopefully we will have  the informational brochures out by mid or late October. Please be sure to put the dates on your calendars!

Though this will be more travel than our family has ever attempted at once, the girls and I will be a team together and we have become quite a support to each other in the midst of the past few years of ministering together. Joy is developing a real ministry heart in the midst of all of this and Sarah has been my right hand for many years. I hope that we will be able to see many of you, and we do covet your prayers for good health and safe travel.

There are times I am tempted to take a sabbatical for a year or two, but then I will meet a young man or woman who has emotional scars or terrible moral or spiritual baggage from their upbringing or lack there-of and then I will feel compelled to share what I do know with sweet moms who need help--to write what I hope will encourage. I was praying about this yesterday morning, and the picture of Jesus holding the children in his arms came to mind and I felt that He said to me, "I love my children. I want you to keep training and encouraging moms so they will know how to love and care for these precious, vulnerable children. The consequences of their lives are important to me! You must keep working for the children's sakes!" So, I do feel that my life is not my own, but that I have been so blessed to have experienced His love in my family and I have seen His redemption, so I have a stewardship to share.

This is also the basis of our desire to train moms to start Mom Heart groups--moms reaching out to moms--for emotional encouragement, spiritual training and input and for help. So many of you, I know, are already a blessing to so many by leading groups yourselves. We are working hard to get Bible study guides to go with all of our books and to write training materials for moms who need a little bit of help starting groups. In time, we are planning a national leadership conference as well as putting lectures to all of our books and to produce more discipleship materials that you can use with your children. Clay is busy with the writing and publishing arm while I work with other women on the detailed part of Mom Heart.

I am also writing a new book which is due December 15. Please pray with me that in the midst of it all, that I will hear from the Lord every day and be able to speak His voice into this book. There are also a couple of other book contracts that are in the process, so my plate is quite full!

People have asked me how I do all of this and still keep my priorities. I could never have done so much when my children were younger as I would have compromised my time with them. But we grew our commitments gradually. I also have had to be very committed and focused  and have to say no to many activities that would be fun but would compete with my family time. I have had to write books early in the morning and often my deadlines get pushed back, but somehow we muddle along together as a family in this together. It helped that Clay and I have been partners in this forever.

Now the next thing I feel guilty telling you about. Clay has been so wonderful to me for the past few years in seeing me become depleted and he is always so generous to see that I get a few days here and there to refresh.Since we have traveled so much for ministry, Clay is inclined to stay home--but he knows that I love to get away with the kids because then I don't have to cook, or email or talk on the phone and as the kids became older, I so enjoyed getting away with them.  It has been quite a while since I have traveled somewhere just to travel--without speaking or writing or something.

Well, such a trip is coming up and I can't wait. A friend asked Sarah to teach her children about the great English authors this summer. In return, she said she would pay for Sarah to travel to England to give her and her grandchildren a tour of the great English authors' homes.  They decided to have a practice run this fall. I asked if I could go with them and bring Joy on the practice run! So, next week, I will go to a family wedding in Texas. Then, we will drive on to Nashville to see a sweet friend and celebrate her mom's 93rd birthday and then off to England for an 8 day trek! I feel so excited--just a fun girl's trip--no work allowed! Just thinking of all that tea and trains and country side rambles makes me giddy!

We will see homes of Dickens, Shakespeare, Potter, Harriot, and Wordsworth and possibly a couple of more. We will also hopefully go to the premier pre-Raphealite museum and have a great tea in a palace with one of Sarah's friends who is studying and working there. So, I will be off of my blog for at least 8 days while I travel. Joy and I are shopping for warm coats and good walking shoes as we are going to be making quite a few treks--even hope to see the place that the banner of my blog represents! Sarah has arranged it all as she is the only one who has been to these places. I added up all of my points and got two free airline tickets which I consider a grace gift from the Lord, or we wouldn't have been able to go!

So, I wish you all well and covet your prayers and I promise I will take pictures along the way and fill you in on little details when I get back home. I might be writing a blog between now and the time I leave, but thought just in case that I would get this letter written!

God's grace to you all.

Mealtime Memories

What a beautiful fall day--one for lighting the candles in the fall baskets, turning on the gas fire place and putting on lilting instrumental music softly in the background. (My new favorite that I am listening to a lot is Ladies in Lavender--a movie that had lovely music all through--as it is a story about a violinist in WW II and that is all I will give away. It is one of those British dramas that goes slowly, but a great story--Sarah gave it to me for my birthday.) It is putting these little anchors of beauty into our days that make the mundane seem so much more special and keeps our hearts lighter. I have been thinking quite a bit about emotional anchors that have tied our family together over these years and wanted to reprint a small portion from my daughter's blog: itinerantidealist.com

She was recording some of the "lasts" we celebrated with my boys before they left and she did such a good job of our dinner table that I just had to share it with you. As a matter of fact, for all of you who have joined me in the past months and don't know about Sarah's blog, you are missing a soul feast. She is sometimes sketchy because of our travel and gypsy life-style, but if you want your soul filled with beauty and to be uplifted, be sure to visit her at itinerantidealist.com--if I was smart you would be able to connect from here, but I don't know how to put links in yet, so you will just have to put the address in your search bar.

I wish you all the best weekend with memories built with your sweet loved ones. Praying for God to comfort and protect Houston and Galveston friends. And looking for a hs support group for someone in San Francisco area if anyone can help. Love to all my online friends!

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Last Family Evening: Though rather a generic “last”, the rhythm of our evenings is so much a part of my family’s identity that I have to list it as an integral part of us. We begin it with a feast (yes, we like good food in my family, and when the boys are requesting for special, it’s steak). And we treat it as a feast, almost every night, lighting candles, setting some new music to trill in the background, one of the girls carefully setting the table. With the spice of good food soon flows the spice of good conversation. There are times when this becomes overwhelming; one of Joy’s friends who hails from a rather smaller and more reserved family once asked “does your family ever STOP talking?” We aren’t that noisy, in fact, half of us are introverts, but we are all intuitive idealists who think our thoughts are vital to the wellbeing of the earth. Dinner conversation usually flows seamlessly into an evening walk, where we continue the chosen topic to the backdrop splendor of spruce and fir and darkling, starlit sky. When the dusk finally gets its hands round our brains, we quiet a bit, breathe, and share a companionship of looking that is really as good as any talking. And then home; for coffee, for a movie, for candlelight and reading or yet another discussion. I suppose in the end, we had several of these before the boys left, but I tasted them more with the spice of parting added to my palate.

And that’s that. One of you so sweetly commented that I ought to write about my family, and I guess bits like this are the beginning. Someday, I would like to scratch us all out in ink, our fun and flaws, our griefs and gladnesses and what we managed to create together. There was a rather hysterical scene a couple of weeks ago when one of us kids was calling home from far away and didn’t realize we were on speaker phone (no, it wasn’t me) with more than just mom and dad. Thus, all three remaining siblings crept into the room and heard the full import of the absent sibling’s heart and, well, escapades. Only at the end did said sibling hear a suspicious scratch and suddenly bellow, “hey, who else is in the room?”, at which we all scurried out like mice so that my mom could honestly, innocently, answer, “why, it’s just Dad and me.” “But I heard voices,” came back the rather suspicious answer.

And so he did. Wouldn’t it be a shame if he hadn’t? It came to me today, as I was thinking about all the lasts we have lived in the past week, that that was what we were creating with all our traditions, a circle of voices and memories and words and traditions that will surround every soul that ventures out from the familiar confines of “us”. There’s a grand comfort in having a host of snap-eyed siblings to spy on you and eavesdrop on your most candid conversations. It is a gift; to hear voices, however irritating, is to know yourself encircled, never left to the echoing emptiness of isolation. That’s what I want to write about someday, the grace of having a clamor of voices in your life, and it’s what I’ve been thinking of in these quieter days after the parting. I’m gonna start the story one of these days…

by Sarah Clarkson

The Story--Nathan in New York City

But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more,My mouth shall tell of your righteousness and of your salvation all day long. Psalm 71 14-15

I just got home at midnight last night and am hitting the ground running, but just had to record a little of the story of what the Lord did. There are times in your life when you pray and pray and wonder if God has heard because you don't necessarily see the results. Then there are times when he parts the Red Sea and you see that He is listening and that He must have heard your other prayers, too, so you have to keep waiting and believe in His goodness. Well, last week was a part the Red Sea time! I will try to make a very long story short.

To start out with, I have to tell you that I had been praying every day for God to provide Nate Christian roomies. Also, he had been praying for a kindred spirit--spiritually speaking--for two years--as he said not one of his friends that he hung around with was really as idealistic and spiritually connected and he had longed for some friends who had his values--but Nathan is an extrovert, pied piper sort of guy and would always have friends, but none who could lift him up and hold him accountable--just our family.

Eight days ago, on Sunday morning, after I had spoken all weekend in Montreal, and was already exhausted, I caught a plane to NY City to meet Clay and Nathan who had flown overnight on the cheap flight and met me so we could ride in a cab together. We had 2 nights in a Holiday Inn Express with free points from our travels. After checking into the hotel, (kinda a less than beautiful area--industrial looking--in a part of Brooklyn). We immediately went, on foot and subway, to meet Nate's new roomate and look at his apartment. When we arrived at his street, I thought, Wow, this looks desolate, can't imagine Nate coming home to this every day tired from school and feeling ok. But, didn't want to be a wet blanket, so put a positive spin on it. There were bars on all the windows.

His room mate was looking out the window for us and waved us in. The apartment inside was surprisingly nice--newly repainted and clean looking. Though small, it looked like it might work. Then when his friend showed us around, we realized it was a three bedroom--each room small but with their own closet. The fourth room--which was supposed to be Nate's, had no closet, had two walls of windows--one into the living room and one into the street--(it was really a porch) and no closet and no light. It was about 6'by 8'. Nate couldn't even lay down on the floor--the only way he could put a bed, as the room was too short for him. (He is almost 6-4) So, the guy immediately said, "Hey, dude, we will charge you  $100 less for taking this room."

Clay and I glanced at each other, and didn't say anything, but we knew we would have plenty to say in privacy. (Nathan had a mini-piano and recording-computer set up that he had to have a desk for for his writing and composing and desk work--but they said he could just hang his clothes in the living room and put his desk by the kitchen.

We left the apartment and all of us knew that it wouldn't work for him.  So began the search, on foot--no car. We spent hours and hours traipsing all over  the broader New York city. We  met with people at his school and used their computers to search out leads, we walked miles and miles and saw places that were in ghettos and dangerous places--but these were in our price range. By Tuesday night, Clay and I were quickly coming to the conclusion that we would just have to bring Nate back home and let him start in January to give us time to help him. That was when it occurred to me that we had not enlisted prayer support about this. So we contacted our children and told them to pray and I emailed some others and sent out the SOS on this blog.

It was amazing to me to again realize that much of the love we feel from God will be through the body of Christ and if we are cut off from them, we will feel less of His love. Now the next part is difficult to explain, but I will try. We started receiving emails from people from all over and several said to look at the Redeemer church bulletin board for an apartment or a roommate. We were all three on our computers and cell phones following up every lead. Clay called a number for one of the apartments and a girl answered the phone and said, "Hi, Mark." Clay said, "I am not Mark." The girl then responded and said, "Oh, my friend Mark has your same area code and he just moved here, too." So she told us his name and that he was also looking for a roomate. I thought, maybe this guy is it. So we got his number and made a lunch appointment with him the next day. At dinner that night, Clay told me the man's whole name and I said, "that sounds so familiar, but I can't figure out why. Then, I remembered that a sweet friend who had been in a small Bible study I was teaching on Mission of Motherhood to some pastor's wives, had texted me on my phone the weekend before. I looked at my text and saw that it was the same man, and she had said, "He is a wonderful Christian leader and you should look him up. Sweet man, but not the guy for Nate as his plans were indefinite--another closed door, I thought.

So by early Wednesday morning, I was a little blue and thought to myself and to the Lord, "It always seems like we have to do things the hard way. I am tired, Lord, and I know you want me to believe in your goodness, but it would be so wonderful if you would work on our behalf to show Nathan as he enters this city and this era of His life that you are in control. So I read in my quiet time and was greatly encouraged by several passages which I will share in the next letter. But I was impressed by the Lord to tell Him what I wish we could find for Nathan even if everyone else told us it was impossible. (I had hoped he could live in Manhattan where it seemed a little safer, and was closer by subway to his school, I also asked that it be esthetically pleasing--a nice looking neighborhood and a nice looking place to go as I already knew that the culture and the noise and the lines and the busy-ness would slowly deplete Nathan and I just wanted him to have a little haven to come home to--even if it was small, and finally, I wanted him to have godly roomates and support systems.) We had met many nay-sayers who told us Manhattan was absolutely out because of the price, and we should expect to pay at least 900-1000 a month for a room and not to be discouraged by what it looked like.

So, I met with Nate and told him that "Daddy and I can't just leave you here without seeing God work and provide you with some stability." He was open to us but said he hoped in His heart to see God open doors because He had done so much to get him this far.

Meanwhile,  Mark  had talked to the  other girl who was trying to gather a group of believers to all live in an apartment house together, and told the girl that Nate was a great guy--to be trusted--and so the next morning  after we prayed and had begun to get encouraging emails from people from all over, Nate received a short text from the girl and she said, just thought of something that might help--look at this website and see if you find something. I had just read to Nate the passage about not hiding the lamp on the hill, but letting it shine for all to see and that I thought he should put out an advertisement on these boards for Christian roomates. When he looked at the bulletin board, there was a standout advertisement, "Two Chritian roomates looking for a third."

We called him immediately and he told Nate all about the place to look up the pictures online--the apartment looked almost too good to be true--newly painted, tile entrance, three bedrooms with windows, a living room and separate small kitchen--now these were things that not all apartments had! And it was pretty from the outside on a normal block that looked out over a beautiful park--now these were all just pictures--and he said the rent would be $500 for each guy--we couldn't believe it--sounded too good to be true--and it was on Manhattan! Then the guy said, "Hope you don't mind, but I need to meet you since we don't really know each other--I need to tell you a little about us and be sure we all fit together!"

So, Nathan went to meet the guy near his school where he is getting his second masters in music. About thirty minutes later, we got an excited call from Nathan. He said, "You won't believe it, but, not only is this guy a strong Christian, he also attended Masterworks festival this summer (a 4 week Christian arts symposium to encourage musicians, actors, in their Christian faith) and he knows Joel! (Our 21 year old son who had just returned from there!) And he wanted to meet because he and his roommate had standards--no drinking, smoking and no girls overnight--he said they had a commitment to Christ he wanted to uphold and that if I couldn't agree to that, maybe we wouldn't be a good fit!"

Now, we are talking about a needle in the haystack--out of millions of people, the chances that these two would become roommates, find such a great apartment and end up exactly where we had been praying for, was beyond amazing for us! But it doesn't end there.

Even though the boys didn't have the apartment totally secured, (they had to meet with a board from the apartment building Thursday night to be approved), we had to go find Nate furniture and stuff to fill an unfurnished apartment. Nate is on a loan for school and we were looking to find a place to shop where we could put together an apartment for him on a budget and all on foot as we couldn't even imagine using a car there with all the crazy traffic, miles that we had to cover finding stuff and no parking anywhere. So we took the subway to a bus which took us to an IKEA--a Swedish furniture warehouse with economic options--though it comes in kits that you have to build yourself! We spent 7 hours there trying to find bargains and it had to be delivered the next day to his apartment if we were going to help him put it all together--as they did not deliver on a holiday weekend! So we had to pay for delivery to an apartment that we had never seen to live with boys we had never met and that was still waiting to be approved. We just made sure we could stop the delivery if it didn't go through--though we had no idea what we were going to do with a truck load of stuff and no place to put it!

Meanwhile, Clay and I had moved for our third time. (Did I mention that each of our bags weighed 50 pounds as we had stuff in it for Nate.) Our third move was into a lovely little home for people in ministry that had rooms to rent inexpensively.  But did not have air conditioning, no elevator and no internet! So, after lugging these suitcases for 6 days and walking all over the city and helping Nate, we were pretty tired.

But we all took one more breath as we had to meet the next day, if the boys were approved, at 9:30. We took the subway, found the building--and were so encouraged, met the first roommate and within 5 minutes, the door bell rang with all of Nathan's stuff. So we climbed the 5 stairwells countless times to help, I went to a local grocery store while the Clay and Nate were putting his bed furniture together and lugged 6 more bags of groceries on foot to his apartment. (I called them to help me take it up the stairs--I am not that noble!)

Clay and I went back to our rooms, left Nate to stay in the apartment alone that night as his roomies had not arrived and we showered and went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. This was to have been our week of having time alone as a couple for a few days to celebrate our 25th anniversary two years late--but instead we made some great memories with Nate and fell into bed exhausted each night. Clay and I did have a lot of fun going to the show and spending most of the next day together and then a nice dinner. Sunday, we met Nate after Church (he had gone with one of his roomies.) When we sat down at a cupcake bakery to have some time alone with him, he said, "You won't believe the story of my third roommate. He grew up in Wichita Falls and knows the Clays (dear friends of ours who used to be on our ministry board.) And he was also homeschooled.

My mind started clicking and I said, "Well, Nate, then he must know this other young man, who also studied music in Boston and was homeschooled and grew up in Texas. I then told him the name of my very dear friend's son, and Nate looked at me very surprised and said, "Mom, that is his name!" Nathan was going to be a roommate with a friend who I had known for ten years and had prayed for! I had stayed at the home of this young man ten years ago when I had been invited by his mother to speak to their support group. She then became my friend, even spoke at my conference, sent me emails to keep me posted on her children--and I had been praying for her son--and didn't realize he had moved to New York--and this young man who is a believer was going to be Nathan's roommate! Within a few minutes of him telling me this, my phone rang and my friend was on the phone with the same amazement as me! "Sally, we have been praying all week for Matt to find a great apartment at a good price and to find a really good third roommate who was a Christian!"

So I picture heaven getting all these prayer requests from different people all over the US and a prayer coordinator putting them all together to come up with a suitable miracle for all of us! To see how, out of all the millions of people that there are in New York  and to even end up with friends--with less than one per cent apartment availability and to see God direct us together to a good apartment at a good price truly had Clay and me in awe. The Lord must have Nate there for a reason to so validate his prayers and faith in this personal way!

We spent several hours yesterday morning reconnecting with an old friend of Clay's from high school and college who had moved to Broadway to work in the musical-acting industry with his family--a wonderful, very spiritually committed man, and he and Nate connected and now Nate will even have a family to connect with regularly!

So, we had a different week than we thought we were going to have, but to be a part of God's miracle for our son as he is building his faith was a blessing--but I have to tell you that being in my home in Monument this morning gives me new eyes to appreciate all that I have--quietness! A mansion compared to the very small housing options available in New York, a place to belong and my own bed!

I have to say, that indeed, my mouth will speak of the great things my precious Lord has done! Thanks for praying for us! When we had your support we began to see the Lord work! Now onward to life!

Sally

 

A wonderful, amazing--God could only do it story!

Well, I must say that the minute I sent my children an sos email and also one to all of you, things began to change. I can't go into the whole story now, (but will when I get home from New York--flying in late Monday night!) but Clay and I finally moved Nate into a wonderful apartment this morning, with Christian roomates and only $500 rent per month--and he has a bedroom door that actually closes! We have spent the last few hours putting together his kitchen and bedroom (knock down, screw-in, inexpensive furniture. (His roomates are thrilled with the smallest thing. And now, after being gone for 7 days, I am going home (hotel home!)to take a nap and shower and then Clay and I will have the weekend to celebrate our 25th anniversary, two years late. I was afraid we wouldn't have any time together, but the Lord has helped us amazingly. Thanks so much for all who prayed and wrote to us. It really strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. You are so important to me! We are even going to Mary Poppins--the Broadway play tonight! I will do my best to act like an adult!Blessings to you and many thanks to the Lord! Sally

SOS

Tuesday afternoon--5 p.m. Hi, all! I need some prayer support. We got to NY and Nate's apartment has fallen through! (Long story of course but all a part of us learning the ropes of NY!) Please pray for God's specific guidance and provision and that we wouldn't waste time . (Many voices and much advise so as to confuse us at this point!) And that it will be affordable and a delight to Nate as I think he will last longer if he has a haven to come home to and not too far  from his classes on the subway! We have been pounding the pavement for 2 days and are quite exhausted. Rent is quite steep. I am also hoping for a believer for a room=mate. Please pray for us in this and I will look forward to telling you what the Lord does. Much appreciation! Onward! Sally

New York, New York!

Good Sunday morning. I am awakening in Montreal this morning and getting ready to go to the airport where I will  fly to NYCity to meet Clay and Nathan  (who flew there on an overnight plane!)  What a great group of women I met here and spent two days with--great hearts and great fellowship. But now I am on my way to the big apple. I have mixed feelings about Nathan moving. Joy told me on the phone he was wrestling with our sweet golden retriever and hugging her a lot yesterday, so I know that it is Nate's way of trying to get as much of home and as much of love into his heart as he can before he leaves! He is so ready to hit the world and to try his wings, but I will miss him--drums and all! Joel left Thursday for Nashville and we had the whole Clarkson gang in our ritual of sending someone off--the early in the morning goodbye with all of us in our pajamas out on the driveway, praying, kissing, hugging and waving. And now Nate. Joel  is already busy with friends and loves being in his new little house with roomates. He even served at a private dinner party on Saturday night (last night)  and earned 75 dollars, so he is off to a good start and feeling oh so good about life. (Mom, there is even a recliner in my room!--oh the good little things of life that bring joy!)

I will be in New York for  8 days. Please pray for us and for him as we settle him in. Pray God will give Nate a godly friend and that he will even be able to find a job and that God will give him favor with the agents and contacts he has. Pray that I will be a good mommy and send him off with grace! (Don't know that in New York we can stand outside doing the Clarkson ritual!)

I am also going to spend 2 days with my sweet Clay--finally getting a little trip in to celebrate our 25th anniversary--a couple of years late! Life just hasn't allowed it, but I am so excited to be with him alone for a couple of days celebrating our 27th! He has some surprises and I know one or two Broadway shows will be contained in this week, a nice dinner somewhere and lots of time to remember and ponder the years. (The last week we came to NYC to celebrate our twentieth was 9/11 so we are hoping to have a much calmer week!) The girls will be holding down the fort and having a glorious time alone with lots of plans of resting doing girl things.

I will probably not be writing this week, but somehow needed to know that I would have the prayers of friends coming my way during this week. Oh, the flurry of emotions, but God is good so I am in good hands and off to lug my bags to the airport one more time. Au revoir!

Too many choices--replaced by love

Last night, around 7:30, I was sitting in a chair by my window up in my second story bedroom. Our home sits up on a hill that is about 7500 feet high, and we look out over tall Colorado pines with the mountains not too far in the distance. As I sat amidst the peace of my darkening room, I looked out on the horizon and across the sky, once again, the Lord had painted the most vibrant sky--luminous, "screaming pink"--(the color of shirts my mother used to love to buy for me!)--seemed to be dancing across the sky for those who would see it! Then fading into hews of orange and finally darkness. I was reminded again how present God is in all of our moments yet wondering how many people in my little town took the time to notice Him and His art. I was pondering some of the dilemmas of modern, Christian life---way too many choices. Choices scream at us and block out the simplicity of Christ and His love and His voice. We live in a time of so many voices that represent so many choices--republican, democrat, independent; theologies--charismatic, reformed, catholic, baptist, emergent church, Bible church; public, private and homeschool; whole book, curriculum, or classical; pro-Shack people (referring to the book)--anti-shack people; is it acceptable to watch the dark knight or it is sinful --good imagery or poor imagery--dating or not-dating; what movies are acceptable; universalism or  limited atonement; whole foods or MacDonalds,  soccer or piano lessons; t.v. or no media at all; infiltrate culture or draw back and seclude, spanking or grace-based parenting; and on and on and on. And then there is the busy-ness associated with getting it all right and reading all the blogs and books and reviews and making all the choices--frenetic that we might make the wrong choice--yet confused in the midst. There is such a pressure to be involved in all that is relevant and the pressures of our modern Christian culture cultivates insecurity and fear and isolation. Lots of head focus, not so much heart.

So much wrangling over words and so much judgment and pride and finger pointing--what is the right way to believe? So many who are involved in these issues have a heart that desires to find what is best and to do what is right. Who is the right authority? Such choice overload obscures the simplicity and presence of God.Satan can use the frantic searching and frenzy to obscure what is essential--loving God and knowing Him. So many I talk to long to be close to Him, but find Him illusive. No wonder there exists so much shallowness in our culture--we are seeking so hard after the answers and He wants us to seek Him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am orthodox in my beliefs and trust in Jesus for my salvation and am so very grateful for this. I have a strong foundation of ideals for my home and children. But the older I get and the more countries I have seen and the more people I have worked with, the more I see that it is the heart--where love and faith and beauty and humility exist where the life of Christ flourishes. It is in Him and His presence that I find peace that transcends "getting it all right."  I have learned that God is much bigger than I originally thought and that He understands and has compassion for many outside the comfort zone of my own ideals and beliefs and values and that I would be wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak and even slower to judge. His purposes and ways transcend time, history and cultures and I would be wise to focus on Him above all else.

I find rest when I ponder the One who took small children into His arms to bless them; who gently and lovingly washed the disciple's feet, who threw the vibrant colors into the sky for me to enjoy last night. Jesus, came in simplicity--not a man of titles or authority--but the authority that comes from within.

I ponder His messages--admonishing us to give cups of cold water; taking care of our enemies as did the good Samaritan; parenting in such a way as to have the heart of the father looking every day for his prodigal son to return; encouraging us to be like the gentle, humble Mary who chose the "good part"--to sit at his feet and rest in his love and be filled with the life of His words--not being like Martha who was "worried about so many things."

It seems His priorities were for us to be anchored in character and deeds of goodness and kindness--the simplicity of being a good neighbor, giving grace and forgiving as we have been forgiven--making bridges of peace--not walls of separation.

Often, with the media and so many "experts"--(everyone is an expert if given the opportunity to blog!)--I see people laden down with the voices that seek attention in their heads--seems that with all the conflicting messages and so much media in our face, pleasing and finding God can be complicated, confusing and overwhelming and impersonal--more about knowledge than personal in an intimate relationship. Wouldn't Satan just love for us to confused and insecure--since God so clearly wants us to be secure and stable in the knowledge of His love, His calling and His grace.

Jesus had great scorn and condemnation for the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and lay them on men's shoulders," --those who were so dedicated to defining every jot and tittle of the law. Just this morning, I was reading in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel."

Then I read in John 14 and 15, some of the last chapters recorded of Jesus's personal messages to his disciples. His desire and heart to comfort and encourage his precious disciples is so evident throughout these chapters.  "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled or let it be fearful."

He comes not to give as the world gives to us--but peace--restful, filling, assuring peace--that keeps us from being troubled or fearful.

There is so much more. But, the God who told us the most important commandments were to love Him and love others, is the gentle shepherd who will not judge us today if we get all the answers and choices right, but if we abide in Him, love Him, rest in Him and walk in the abundance and security of His love for us and His redeeming love for those needy in our lives who need not just answers and words, but love, forgiveness, healing and peace.

Lord, let me today and every day, abide in you, see you, rest against you--"not being concerned with things too difficult for me, but composed, like a weaned child rests against his mother, so will my soul be within me." (Psalm 131)

Fussing Part II

The other day, after we had a great breakfast on family day, we talked about the plans for the rest of the day, in case we needed to take 2 cars to the mountains because of schedule issues with my older kids. When it looked like Joel would have to take a separate car, two of the kids said, "It wouldn't be as much of a tradition if we didn't all cram together in the van---we wouldn't have a chance to fuss about the music in the car on the way up!" As with any other special day like our "family day" not all of our moments are perfect. The kids had always fussed about something in the car on the way up! Fussing or quarreling is a regular part of life. It is the source of all wars in the Bible, the Israelites complained when God was taking them to the promised land; David, the righteous had all sorts of contention in his home---his wives, officers, children and enemies. Even in the New Testament, Paul and Peter--two of the most revered leaders of the early Christian movement--argued and fussed.

All that to say, it is something all mothers deal with and will continue to deal with--but it is not a picture of your success or failure as a mom. I think if I had just accepted it as a part of life, I wouldn't have gotten so upset about the regularity of it --as it does drive me crazy and by personality, I do not like conflict. But because it is a part of our sin nature, we have to recognize it as a symptom of our separation from God--but not something that your children intentionally do to drive you crazy! Really--they haven't converged together to make you go insane.

I can say that my children have become so much more mature over the years. They have learned to be more patient and less selfish, to be peace-making, to be forgiving, to serve one another, to encourage and cheer each other on. Yet, there is still the tension of 6 sinful people with a variety of personalities living in our home and so we still have conflict from time to time--and yet we have learned how to resolve it. But  getting better is a matter of training and practicing what is right until it becomes the standard that guides us in our relationships.

1. Training--Children need to be trained to love and to be mature. I often told my children that God said, "How good and how pleasant it is for brothers (and sisters!) to dwell together in unity." Also, Jesus and John said that others would know we were Jesus's disciples by our love for one another. And of course, we read I Corinthians 13 and talked about it over and over again. So, love and graciousness was the goal of our relationship training. Clay and I talked about our values as a family and he wrote a devotional to use with our children so that they would clearly understand our standards. (You can see The 24 Family Ways devotional at www.wholeheart.org)

2. Instruction A special part of training is education--instruction. So, we made our goals for our children's behavior obvious by teaching then godly principles of relationships over and over and over again.In relationships, one of our 24 family ways was, "We treat one another with kindness, gentleness and respect." So we repeated this value daily every day out-loud for a week. We would read scripture each day that correlated with that value. I helped the kids memorize verses in light of these goals. Some of our favorites were, "Love covers a multitude of sin." "It is to a man's honor to overlook a sin."(encouraging my children to overlook the faults and offenses of their siblings. "A gentle answer turns away wrath."  (choosing to answer with a gentle voice instead of  accusing or attacking--a choice of the will in obedience to the Lord.) "Where there are many words, conflict is unavoidable."  (Stop fighting before it gets bad.) "As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men." "Do not let any unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only that which is good for the moment, that it may give grace to the hearer." (What what you said kind? How should you have said it differently?) And so on.

3. Follow through and correction When my children would quarrel, I would say, "What is our 24 Family way about how we treat each other?" Then they would repeat what they had learned, and say our memory verse. I would then say, "How should you have said that differently to your brother? Do you need to ask forgiveness?" Sometimes I would make the child, (if they were old enough) write a paragraph or several paragraphs about a passage in the Bible about what it meant to show love or patience or what it meant to have a mature relationship.

So, it was a process day in and day out. Just like maturity in marriage--you have to learn to understand your spouse and accept his limitations and to give grace instead of retaliation. As it takes us a long time to exhibit unconditional love, so it takes our children practice and time to mature. They need the same kind of encouragement to succeed as we do to keep going in marriage. They need to know you love them and we need to notice when they are improving.

But so often, I see parents reacting to children and yelling at them when the child doesn't even know what they did wrong. (Often showing off, being exhausted, overstimulated, hungry, hormonal, a boy! or in a new situation or 1000 other issues need to be considered, in other words we have to be perceptive psychologists! ) Telling the the goal of relationships through instruction and memory verses gives them a map to follow and pathway over which to move forward.  (Children need to know what the standard is before they can obey it.) Second, training, training, training--Taking time to  stop bad behavior and then making them redo the relationship in the right way--making them ask for forgiveness or use kinder words to communicate a request or do something nice for the other one (making a card or bringing a sibling a cup of hot chocolate and serving them if they had really been selfish, etc.) And almost always, praying together to bring about unity.

I think it is always important to take into account many factors. Personality for instance. Extroverts are going to be louder and more boisterous and should not be punished for being that way. Introverts can be whiny if they don't have enough time alone. Toddlers are just immature and often just need sleep or to be separated and can't be expected to be mature. (though they do need to be gently trained, for instance, grab their hands if they hit someone and say, "Hands must always be used for loving and gentleness--rubbing their hands gently on your cheek or arm--never, never for hitting!" Yelling at them will not help them to be more mature.)

Children who are adhd or who have autism or other such issues, must be treated with great patience and an awareness that they honestly cannot live like a normal person. I wish I had known this earlier as one of my children had issues beyond his control. I can see now that knowing that this whole process of training. loving disiciplining, and teaching is a long process--train up your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. But now I see the results--children who are emotionally mature, who can show love and serve others and be patient. It is such important work. It takes many years and lots of forbearance--but it is what will help your children ultimately flourish in life---in work relationships, marriage, family, and friendship and in church. Relationship training will set one person way ahead of the rest.

However, mamas sometimes need a break or some time alone. Children are taxing at times and moms blow their stacks. But, rest, fun and a wet loving kiss from a sweet child can blow away the clouds in a second. Some days, we all just need a break--give yourself grace and relieve the tension  by going out to a park or doing something fun--but don't give up--a trained adult is such an evidence of a great mom. I have had many ups and downs over the years in this area and yet kept focusing on His love and forgiveness--asking my children for forgiveness  when it was appropriate, taking the chance to love then lavishly and keeping going.  As my son Joel once said to me, "Mom, just lighten up--it is just the life and adventure of being a family!"May God give you grace and give me grace to keep loving!

Off to make dinner!

Family Day, August 2008

Every year in August around the time of our anniversary, we celebrate a family day. We arise to cinnamon rolls, cheese eggs and spend the morning together remembering the ways we have seen God's hand work in our lives over the previous year. Every year, we come up with more reflections of His faithfulness than I thought we would have and it helps us to write the story of the Clarksons year by year--giving us a heritage to pass on of God's faithfulness! Then we drive up to Mueller state park for a picnic of once a year home-fried chicken, baked beans, deviled eggs, fruit, Texas sheet cake and have fun.

Each year we have to take a family picture. Over the years, we have hiked, giggled, fed the birds, run through the hills and trails--and always 1000 pictures. First is the big family picture. Then we take lots of other pictures fun, wild, silly and so on, and of course since I think this might be our last family day when we are all together, I insisted on a lot of pictures. Here are a few!

All the kids being serious.

silliness.

Boys being boys--at 6'3 and 6'5, they are no longer my little boys! Nate, 19; Joel, almost 22!

The girls--Joy, 13, Sarah, 24 and Sally--ancient!

Running through the fields.

The Mama and Papa.