Join the sober club!

Today, Sarah and I picked up Joy from working at MOPS in our neighborhood. She has us in stitches telling us stories about the 2 year olds she was taking care of today. There were stories about all sorts of body fluids--a little boy whose mom said he was being potty trained but had no diapers--only underwear--who eventually cried, sobbed, screamed twice when he has accidents and soused his clothes again and again, with Joy to clean it up. Joy was wondering if this was what most moms called "potty training." There were other stories about nose junk, bottom junk. sucking junk, kids sneezing on her, hitting each other, hitting her, screaming--and by the time we got her, she was exhausted. She has been working at MOPS for 3 years, but has just been recently assigned to one of the most challenging groups. Did you go through all of this with us? How did you make it. (Don't really know how I made it, but somehow muddled through.) I told her just to be sure not to have 10 2 year olds at once.

Life as a woman, mom, wife, can sometimes be gross, stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, boring and demanding on many levels. Sometimes moms feel guilty admitting the variety of feelings they have. Feelings are neutral--they neither define who we are or take away from our righteousness. They are just a reaction to the situation we are in.

I remember so many years when I just obeyed what I was supposed to do without feeling like doing it. Because I loved my children, I made decisions to cultivate what was best for them. Because I was committed to loving Clay, (and loving God), I acted, as a choice of my will in the best interest for Clay, by faith, not by feelings. As I look back, I am so glad that i learned to put one foot in front of the other, because usually my feelings would follow and I am grateful the Lord kept me going in the right direction by the convictions I held and followed. If I had followed all of my feelings, the results would have been disastrous.

But there are just times in life or parenting or mothering or marriage that seem overwhelming and too depleting to handle. A few years ago, Clay and I decided that when we got to this point, we needed to call a sober club meeting. It stands for:

Sick

Of

Being

Responsible

Sober-sick of being responsible

There are times that we all just have to take a break! On our sober club nights, we always do something that we want to do that is just for us--sometimes we even ask friends to join us--go to dinner, a movie, a walk in the mountains, a drive to see the city lights--music blaring, windows down--just cruising and trying to relax. We do something different--go away from the stress, from the kids. We do not talk about any of the problems or money or stress or ministry. We just relax, have fun, get away and lighten up.

With friends or my girls, it will include going to some fun cafe, buying something little or fun thing that I enjoy (Joy bought me a small package of a warm vanilla sugar candle, lotion and perfume this week on a day of our meeting! Sarah bought me a piece of dark chocolate with almonds. Sarah suggested going somewhere for a massage, stealing a few dollars from  our little drawer where we put away dollar bills each month to have on "rainy"  days.

The principle is like Sabbath. Get away from the responsibilities. Go to a park when your kids are driving you nuts. Stop having school and go do something fun. Take a nap. Watch a movie instead of doing one more chore, buy some flowers when it is snowing for 10 days straight--just shake it up a little. Life is still there tomorrow after the sober club meeting, but we all blow off a little steam and then can face the responsibilities with a little bit fresher outlook.

Sober club met today after the flurry of the conferences. Tomorrow I will get back to responsibility--but tonight I am just going to go to sleep and snuggle up in my covers.

*******************************************

Two More Great Mom Heart Conference Blog posts!

http://afieldsday.xanga.com/740733701/item/ (This one has beautiful pictures!)

http://mamahall.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-mom-heart.html

Mind your mind

"As a man thinks, so is he."

Often in our time in history, we think of worship as singing, praising and lifting our arms up to God. But to worship God means to honor Him and to place Him as our lens of focus through which we see and live all of our lives.

We are told to worship Him with our mind. Filling our minds with truth, pondering Christ, cherishing that which is holy is a part of this worship. God admonishes us to "delight ourselves in His law." Psalm 1; to hide His word in our hearts and minds; to think true thoughts.

We are told to think only on those things which are worthy of Him:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

What do you feed your mind on every day? Are you reading noble stories? Are you filling your mind with God's word? With truth? Are you rejecting thoughts that would lead you to bitterness or strife or worldliness?

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

II Corinthians 10: 5

Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ--take every wrong thought and make it a prisoner.

Worshipping God with our mind takes intention. It takes investment. It takes time.

I have never met a deeply spiritual leader who did not think deeply, clearly and well. My spiritual mentors are those who cause me to think more highly of God. They are those who sharpen me with their ponderings of God, Christ, thoughts of eternity, truth, doctrine.

You cannot build your children into those who are worthy of God, excellent in all of their ways, unless you also invest in their minds. The foundations of their thinking patterns, vocabulary, ideas must be cultivated. In the cultivating of your children's minds, when you become a steward of what they think, your own life is enriched. And so worshipping God with our minds requires a commitment, a plan, an intention.

We must mind our minds if we are to be worthy stewards of truth.

Evaluate your own thoughts today. Does my mind cherish God and treat Him as holy? Do I regularly feed my thoughts on truth? on greatness? on what is beautiful?

What do I need to do to worship Him with my mind in a more worthy way? What thoughts are causing me to sin? What do I need to confess?

May God be praised and may we grow into His likeness as we pattern our thoughts after His.

Best to decide to like God's will, because it isn't going to change

I got to hold a precious one this weekend, see devotionmamablogspot

Why do I embrace the call of motherhood? Why do I think it is a worthy call to love, serve and embrace our children?

When we become Christians, we commit our lives to the Lord and say, "I will serve you. I will love you. I will do anything for you!"

And so, God says, "Children are a blessing, the fruit of the womb is a reward." He wants us to cherish what He has called a gift. In Genesis 1, when He blessed Adam and Eve, He called out to that blessing, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth."

If we resist the call of motherhood, then we resist God, as He designed it to be eternally significant and meaningful. We cannot say we will love and serve God and then refuse to see our children as a ministry from Him.

All babies come into the world fragile, in need of comfort, love, food, protection and learning life from the hands of the mom and dad who gave them birth. And so, as God created them so, we have the opportunity to imprint their brains with impressions of what love is like when we caress them and embrace them and sing to them, so that their little brains will believe, when they understand words, that God truly is a loving creator. When we provide rest and comfort and verbal stimulation by talking to them, we are preparing their little brains with pathways of intelligence so that they can understand words and eventually truth and so on.

If God made babies so, then it is God's will for us to embrace our one opportunity to effect eternity by loving, cherishing, serving that which God gave to us as a gift, whose life will have implications for all of eternity. Our children, then, are not an interruption, but God's best plan for us to understand His own servant leadership, to see that He has placed in our hands the opportunity to be a part of shaping a mind, soul and body.

And so we embrace motherhood with our whole heart because it is the best way to serve Him. We cannot say we love and serve Him and then reject that gift that He has placed into our hands. A sweet friend posted this quote today on her blog, themobsociety, a quote from Mission of Motherhood. (Go to the rest of her blog for more.)

“As it is, after eighteen years of learning the truth of living sacrificially, I have found that embracing God’s call to motherhood once and for all has brought me great peace. Instead of seeing fusses and messes as irritations in my day, for instance, I am more likely to see them as opportunities to train my children to be peacemakers and to learn to be responsible for their own messes. Instead of resenting the interruptions in my schedule, I am more likely to accept them as divine appointments. More and more, I have learned to see my children through the eyes of God and to accept the stages of growth through which he has designed them to grow.” Sally Clarkson

So, I am praying for God to give sweet mothers a love for their children and a heart for their calling. Grace and peace in the midst of your sweet ones today.

For more blogs about last weekend:

http://www.pixelperfectblog.com/2011/02/mom-heart-conference_22.html

http://somegirlswebsite.com/showing-love/2011/02/you-are-invited-tea-tim/

If I missed any of your blog articles, let me know and I will post them tomorrow.

The Kingdom of God is at hand--in the face of my sweet daughter

This weekend, we hosted our yearly MomHeart Conference in Dallas. How wonderful to look out on this sea of women and know that we have all met together to be with the Lord, with like-minded women and to celebrate the divine design of motherhood.

There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes to make it a time of frenzy for Clay and me and my precious children and those wonderful families who help us. We are blessed indeed to be able to be a part of what the Spirit it doing in this world at this time to help moms love and disciple their children and to cultivate faithfulness to their husbands. It is exciting and grand and hundreds of people flittering around and basking together in ideas. There was a wonderful tea with possibilities of sharing life with so many other moms.

But......

When I come home and can sit on my child's bedside and hear her heart desires and thoughts and dreams;

When I can soothe a brow and speak comfort into the life of a weary friend or make Clay a warm meal and welcome him home;

when Sarah comes downstairs, and gives me gracious words and gentles down my weary soul;

and Joy in her pj's reading us idealistic poems she has been pondering in bed with a cup of tea;

then I experience the Kingdom of God, because Jesus is here with us.

It is in the taking a cup of cold water to one who is thirsty, clasping a real hand, looking deeply into the eyes of one so close and seeing love--this is personal, real, life-touching, giving of self. This is where the kingdom of God is--where Jesus can be real.

Jesus chose to stay in one place and to model for all of eternity that touching, taking children in His arms, giving gracious forgiveness to a woman scorned by so many men after being used, touching lepers who had longed for touch for so long, laughing, rollicking, eating with a gang of twelve rough-edged men-- this was His reflection to us, the essence of the kingdom of God--right here, right now.

Ministry is personal and deep into the real lives of those in our midst. And so I find peace and joy here in my home where the Kingdom of God is at hand and real to me and to those I love. I am so much more comfortable in my home, away from crowds, just being a normal mom to my kids. It is the place of life and where profound things are really happening--the weaving of faith, goodness, beauty and miracles are all possible as we share in Him together.

It is to a woman's honor to overlook a sin

There are people in the world who will hurt you, offend you, disappoint you. The natural response is to become offended, to develop bitterness, to fight back. But I have always said to my children, it is natural to hate or react, it is supernatural to love, forgive, give grace and control your own spirit.

A woman has such a capacity to bring a spirit of grace and beauty into the world if she focuses on the beautiful--the Lord Jesus who did not revile in return. If you want to leave a legacy of grace, beauty and love, you must choose to walk in graciousness and become more gracious. You do not need to capitulate to the error of the irrational people, but you must discipline what goes on in your heart. The outcome of cultivating love is growing in love and eventually having a legacy of righteousness by your obedience to God.

The beautiful spirit of a woman has a tremendous capacity to bring redemption and strength and beauty to the world.

I need someone who understands my life!

Clay and I were sitting in our living room one evening after we had put our children to bed and I said, "I didn't know this was going to be so hard!" Giving, giving all day long, with nary a day off and then getting to 9 at night and having the smart, older children say, "Mommy, is there a God in the universe?"

Frankly, at that moment of the day, I found myself more concerned with getting into my own bed than answering a profound question.

And so I was baring my heart to Clay and said, He said, "What would help you?"

"I wish I had more friends who had my life, who shared my ideals, who agreed how demanding it is to be an intentional mother. I need someone who understands my life."

"I wish there would be a retreat or conference where I could sleep on a bed with clean sheets, be an adult for a couple of days, be inspired, eat chocolate, share my issues with like-minded women, have a nice luncheon, speakers who would encourage, but not give guilt--just a place to be renewed."

And, so my idealistic, visionary husband said, "Maybe we should do a conference like that."

And so 14 years ago, we rented a hotel, and the Whole Hearted Mom or now the Mom Heart conferences started right here in Texas where we were living.

And now I am even more convinced than every, after seeing my children into adulthood, that moms need mentors, encouragers, companions, prayer buddies, women who can support them along the way. Without a spiritually encouraging friend and companion, many women will give up their ideals.

And so we are meeting today, with God in our midst to celebrate this wonderful, amazing role of motherhood. Afterall, as mothers go, so goes to world. So, this morning, I am excited to greet my day with all of you who are gathering with us here in Dallas. May God be lifted up and praised and may sweet women be encouraged to stay strong and to celebrate life with their children so that eternity will be different for their servant leadership and loving, giving hearts. Bless all of you in your labor of love today.

Beautiful eyes, lips, ........beautiful woman

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”

Audrey Hepburn Last night, after visiting my sweet, frail mother, for possibly the last time, I was pondering her life and what it has meant to me and to my siblings. Joy and I went to the jacuzzi at our hotel and entered into a surprisingly meaningful conversation. We moved outside, covered in towels under the 65 degree, weather and sat in gentle breezes pondering life and values and goals. We each came up with 5 adjectives that we hoped would characterize our own lives. More on that later as I will be sharing some this weekend. But it has given me new soul food to ponder and new goals for my life. She had different adjectives--all worthy, but she also shared this quote with me. A great quote from a woman who, though a Hollywood actress, seemed to get to some of the true values of life. I have savored these words today as I am busy in Dallas getting ready for this wonderful weekend. Ponder........

Shortbread Valentines Cookies and Lots of Love

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

Everyone longs for love, is pre-wired to need love, yearns to be known and still loved. The only one-word definition in scripture about God is: God is love. Jesus tells us in his last prayer, the high priestly prayer, that God has loved Him since the foundation of the world.

But true love initiates.

Take time today to send love emails, love phone calls, to leave love cards under pillows, to fill someone's cup of their heart with love that they so need to hear. You will be God's hands, his voice, His touch today when you seek to give love.

These are easy cookies you can also make to give to someone with your love cards!

Easy Shortbread Cookies

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups of flour (measure exactly or your cookie dough will be too dry)

1 stick or (1/2 cup butter)

1/4 cup powder sugar

1/2 teaspoon almond extract or 1/2 -1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, depending on your preference!

A dash of salt

Optional: If dough is too dry to handle, put a table spoon of half and half, cream or milk, one at a time and mix well before adding another if needed. Dough will be quite dry and you can shape it with your hands.

Step by Step:

The first thing to do is to combine the flour and salt in a bowl. In a separate bowl or food processor combine the butter, almond extract and sugar. The consistency should be creamy in appearance. Make sure it has a whipped up look and appearance. The final stage requires you to gradually add the flour and salt mixture into the creamy mixture. As you add in the dry mixture, make sure you are thoroughly mixing in the ingredients. As the consistency seems to thickens up, use your hands to essentially kneed the mixture.

After you have kneaded the mixture, place it on a flour surface. The next step requires a rolling pin or you may use your hand to flatten it out in the shape of a large circle or square. The flattened out mixture should be about 1/4 inches thick. Use a cookie cutter in the shape of a heart or a round cookie cutter than you can modify in the shape of a heart.

Sprinkle the cookies before you bake them and press the red sugar into the dough so it won't roll off.

Bake at 350 for 12-14 minutes, but don't over-bake.

A Happy Valentine's Day to you all--with lots of love memories all day long.

Sunday Pondering ~ Love

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a

When I graduated from college, I worked on the staff of Campus Crusade for 2 years at the University of Texas and then I moved to Eastern Europe to travel in Communist countries as a missionary. I had the illusion that because I had a committed heart, I was mature.

But since the Lord is a good parent, and He wanted me to grow into the likeness of Christ, and he saw that I was quite young, immature, self-centered and full of pride, he knew I needed more practice and training to become more like Christ.

So he gave me a husband and children, so that I could really find out what sacrificial love was all about. It has not been easy to pull out the weeds of expectations; to fight the storms of giving up my rights; to endure the drought of feelings that did not always match up to what I thought a loving wife and mother should feel in a happy home. But, I kept holding on to Him, pondering His life and seeking to be loyal through faith in His reality and presence, even though I could not always see Him.

Now, though still growing, I have learned so much more about true love, self-sacrifice, commitment. long-suffering--and it has all made me love Him more because I see how much of my life has required that of Him--as I have tested Him, misbehaved, thrown tantrums, and pulled away at times. But still He loves me and still He sacrificed for us while we were yet sinners.

Love, like the beautiful rose garden at Glen Eyrie Castle above, must grow over years and years to become mature. It must be cultivated and watered and nurtured and protected and worked again.

Thank you, sweet Lord, that you showed me the way and went before me to model real love.

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for His friends."

Love slowly dawns on my soul as I watch you  throughout my life, and I am humbled and brought to worship of you, the great Lover.

Today, I am.......

Sitting in my living room with candles lit and fire blazing, reading my Celtic Daily Prayer book and some passages from Daily Light and drinking my Yorkshire Gold tea out of a china cup my friend Deb gave me for Christmas--and it is blue, my favorite color. Yesterday I made shortbread cookies and cut them with heart cookie cutters and sprinkled them with red sugar crystals and hosted some of Joy's friends for pizza and fun. I will finish making the dough into cookies for today when we sit down for a cup of tea. I love butter cookies with vanilla and almond.

Yesterday, Joy and I met for our once a week intensive discipleship training. She drove all the way downtown on the freeway to a little French cafe where I take her for strong French coffee. It is a great place to be adults together as they play classical music and have a little flower on each table--a rare place in this frontier town of Colorado Springs. She  made it all the way without a glitch, even driving beside semis and in crowded traffic. I am thankful she is doing well and thankful she is my last child I have to teach to drive! :)

I read her a passage from Donald Miller's book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It was about all the youth that are growing up without fathers in Portland, Oregon. Also, the story of a man who grew up with 2 alcoholic parents who would leave him in the car while they stayed late at bars, and how he rose up above his wounded past and started a mentor program to youth who had no adult to help them reach adulthood in a healthy way. Tears streamed from her sweet face. "That breaks my heart, Mom. I want to do something with my life to help."

Nathan called twice while we were together to talk about a job interview and then about how it went and if he should take it or another job. Joy grimaced and said, "He always seems to call lately when we are talking." :) always interruptions in life with a family.

Shopping at Sam's for flowers and fruit and stuff we always seem to be running out of.......

Wearing my two favorite silver bracelets--one that says Expect Miracles, and the other that says, "The peace of God will guard your heart," given to me by precious friends. Somehow I think by wearing them, they speak to my brain and heart.

Meeting with Sarah in a little while for our coffee and Saturday morning walk downtown amongst the old Victorian houses.

Planning and pulling together pretty little plates and napkins for our Dallas Possibilitea. Chocolates, tea, coffee, fruit, goodies, ............

Reading a little today from a George MacDonald novel just for my pleasure. (The Musician's Quest)

Washing my clothes for wearing at the Dallas/Ft. Worth conference next week and packing the three outfits I wear at every conference so that I never have to think about clothes when I travel.

Looking at some beautiful red roses that I bought myself the other day just for beauty. I love roses.

Thanking God that He loved us before the foundation of the world.