You gotta keep a sense of humor or you won't make it

Joy said, "Mom, show me a stress face."

A few years ago, we fell into bed as we returned home from 4 national conferences. Suitcases full of dirty clothes, mail piled high, a general disarray in our home. I, with tear filled eyes, simpered into the den where my children were lounging on couches and said, "We have to get this house cleaned up. I know it will take a lot of work and none of us feel like it, but it's got to be done."

6'-5", gentle Joel, put his arm around my shoulders gently and said, "Mom, we know the routine. We can get it cleaned up and then it will just get messy again and then we will clean it up again. But when you are sad, we feel guilty. So lighten up, Mom, and we can all be happy, cause when you are happy we feel good,  and we will still get it all done."

How true. Lighten up. It isn't that big of a deal. Practicing celebrating life, putting on loud music while cleaning, choosing to smile and laugh and be gentle and asking forgiveness if it was blown--all in the life of a house full of sweet sinful, flawed, but darling people. As Joel says, it is all just going to happen again.

And so, these many years later, I still need to remember his admonition, even though he isn't here.

Today I have, done a whole year of business expenses to turn in for reimbursement; arranged for 3  medical tests to be ordered; selected graduation invitations for Joel and Joy, both graduating; helped Sarah arrange a trip coming up and figure out the places and how to pay for it; taken Joy to the Community College to take an accuplacer test--(Please Lord, help her at this moment to get all the answers right!), stopped for  a mug of coffee at my local favorite place, (Wesley Owens), put together a packing list for Saturday when we leave for a trip early in the morning; and still have lots I have not gotten to...........

Tomorrow is Joy's graduation banquet for her and all of her friends where I will work and then we will go together on a plane the next day, so I can have my own graduation weekend just with her.

But God prompted me to stop and look at what is obvious--4 children who love us and love the Lord, a long-suffering husband, plenty to eat, a warm bed (I love my bed), His presence and knowledge of HIs love and Fatherhood and desire to take care of me; a beautiful spring day and ability to see the snow-covered mountains as I take my daily 2 mile walk.

When I stand back to make a list of all the ways I am blessed, my heart eases and my spirit fills with gratefulness--but I needed that moment to consider, to count my blessings over my cup of coffee--it was essential.

And so, the rest of the day, I will "lighten up" in order to make it through it all with grace. Hope you are all faring well and enjoying this spring day.

Thanks for your patience with me and all of you who are praying. I so appreciate you and love you with all of my heart!

Walking through soul-darkness

There are times for each of us when it appears that all light, all hope, all answers, all strength, all is quickly fading, all hope is eeking out of our lives and we can do nothing to stop the darkness from coming.  It is a wilderness of soul when we feel that we are at an impass and do not know what to do or where to go. We are tempted to think that we cannot go one step more. We are tempted to think that the Lord has abandoned us.

God led Abraham into the wilderness where he was asked to sacrifice, to kill his only, beloved son--the one for whom he had prayed and waited for years and years.

Joseph was brought unjustly into prison after being falsely accused of immorality by a devious woman. He was left there for 10 years.

Moses kept sheep and wandered the wilderness for 40 years before he became the one who would lead the nation of Israel out of slavery.

Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted.

There is a mysterious value from heaven's point of view to being in the darkness of life and still choosing to believe in a God who seems to have forgotten us. Darkness is part of the school for the soul, to delve into what really matters. To put away all that is frivolous or vain and to sift through what really matters. When we are desperate, we are serious, focussed on what life is all about, what He is all about.

Isaiah reminds us that some darkness is allowed by God, and does not mean He has abandoned us.

Who is among you that fears the LORD, That obeys the voice of His servant, That walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. Isaiah 50: 10

Wait....in the darkness. Be still in the darkness. Submit in the darkness.

This passage is interesting because it is suggests the one who is in the darkness is one of God's faithful--one who loves, fears, obeys the Lord --He is the one who is in darkness.

Even in this darkness, God tells us what to do---trust in the name of the Lord our God and rely on Him.

But, when we find ourselves in this place, we see ourselves for what we really are. Our souls are laid bare. We see our limitations, our vulnerability, our weakness, our inability to do anything to save ourselves.

Our works will not help us. We do not have righteousness of our own. Our own strength cannot save us. We will only be saved, if by the mercy of God, He chooses to work and redeem us and restore us.

The situation for each one might be different: a broken marriage, a prodigal or impossible child; financial issues; loneliness; failure, deep soul wounds and rejection at the hands of those who we thought we needed to love us; broken dreams.

Whatever the situation, we feel alone, unnoticed, helpless.

Just the place where God can teach us to rely on Him. He so desires to be the one who fulfills our greatest longings. He wants us to know His voice of guidance, purpose, love and mercy.

I have seen that all of those in my life who are the wisest, truest, most spiritually real and deep, in humility and gentleness seem to really know their savior,  have had to walk through many such times of doubt, many such times of testing. And yet, when they have lived through it, they are deeper, more aware of their need for God, more thankful for His mercy,

more focussed on eternity, more compassionate towards those who are lost, more humble in their demeanor.

God is not cruel and he can't be tempted by evil. He is always loving us, watching over us, willing His pleasure and strength. But if we are to be His warriors, we must learn to trust only in Him.

Darkness leads to humility--dependence on Him. Humility leads to developing a dependence on the Holy Spirit, which leads to spiritual strength.And that is the only place real righteousness and strength can come from is from Him.

Sometimes, in all of our efforts to control life and to accomplish our works, we subtly think our success depends on ourselves. Our happiness can be found by striving enough.

And so a  loving Father must bring us to our own limitations, so that we can live above our mere worldly focus and become more familiar with His strength and mercy and love and ways.

Without Him, I have no hope, no formula, no ability to live in this futile world.

With Him, and in the depths of the reality of the spiritual world, I find a peace and beauty and mercy I could not have had by seeking to provide it myself. He so longs to be close to us, to whisper His love and goodness and purposes into our ears. But sometimes, He must stop us in our tracks to make us be silent, to make us sit still so that we will focus on Him.

I am a spiritual wimp. I do not like to wait, I do not like patience. I do not submit naturally. But, as a good Father, he holds my hand and leads me to what is really true, and in the end I am thankful.

I have been walking through some darkness with my precious children, each one in his or her own way, seeking answers to the mysteries of their own lives. It is hard for me to walk through--even harder to see them have to walk through. And yet, if I desire them to be holy, I must let him have His way. I know this post is long, but perhaps some of you are in this place and will be ministered by our own life process.

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My precious daughter, Sarah, has been going through such a time and wrote about it. I have copied it here:

Perhaps some of you would want to encourage her and pray for her as she walks through her own journey with the Lord.

You can comment on her blog at: thoroughlyalive.com

From Sarah:

The day out my window is clear and bright. The wind rushes, mad-eyed, desperate, to catch the fairy child whose touch is coaxing green from the browned old trees with their withered arms. I sit here in my chair, with daffodils on the window sill, with blue sky flooding my eyes, and I am silent. I watch, I breathe, I pray. My Bible is open on my lap, Psalms staring up at me, their pages creased from many years of mornings just like this. I cannot count the number of times I have sat in this chair, hoping for some good, praying for an answer to a miracle with only the sky out my window for comfort. Today, I wait again.

You see, I got some news this week that greatly discouraged me. We all have prayers we carry around, jingling in our pockets, always hoping for a “yes” to finally fall from the sky and free us from the long, shuffling walk of waiting. When the answer is “no,” or seems to be, it’s a dreadful thing. And I mean that literally; the “no” to my prayer this week filled me with a sense of doom as to my future, a confusion that sapped the energy from my bones and made me want to retreat into the darkest corner of my closet. And maybe not come out for awhile.

For two days, I teetered between a mad resolve to answer my loss with new grit-teethed trust, a new dream, a new faith, or on the other hand, an absolute, bleary-eyed bewilderment as to how on earth to take another step forward. There is a black-and-white spirit in me though that pushes me to the decide, even now, what I think about God. The thing is, God is either the good and beautiful one I have always hoped him to be, either he creates light in my darkness and life in my void, is tender, kind, and with me in ways I cannot comprehend, or… he’s not. There’s no in between. If I came to the point where I believed, truly, that God did not care, I don’t know what else I’d want to do but expire on the spot.

So I came to my room today, opened to those Psalms because I needed some grace by which to hold to my trust in him. I don’t understand why this closed door came, I don’t know why I must struggle with health, I don’t know why the beloved ones around me must walk long years in hard times. Who knows what battles rage in the heavens. Who knows what darkness resists our persistent faith in God. All I knew today, was that I must find the way to walk on in a blind, but sure faith. So I opened to my good old Psalms and found this:

God sent from on high, He drew me out of many waters He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me… The Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a broad place; He rescued me, because he delighted in me. The Lord saves an afflicted people… You light my lamp; The Lord my God illumines my darkness… For who is a rock, except our God?

Who indeed. This is the truth that is the breath in my lungs today. This is the hope by which I will endure every weary minute, and by which I will rebuild my dreams. This is the life that will seep into the quiet minutes of these long, windy mornings, when I wonder if I am alone, to whisper, whisper, God with us, Immanuel. So the silence in which this blue, spring minute finds me, is one of rest. Spring leaps from branch to sky outside, and even into my heart, because God, beloved God, illumines my darkness and holds me by the hand.

May you be blessed this lovely day.

How comforting to know that after the night, the brightness of the full day will come, the light will eventually dawn. Our darkness will be turned to light, He is with us. He light will be forever and ever the same throughout eternity.

Jesus is the light of the dawn.

How much adrenalin can one mother sustain?

Just realizing that I raised my children to be kingdom oriented, to dream of what they could do in the power of the Holy Spirit in their life time. We read of heroes, of grand adventures, of virtue, of faith, of holding on to all that is true.

And now with arenas in Hollywood and parts and jobs and money and concerts and book tours and education and futures and performances, and senior banquets and Hollywood, Boston, New York and Chicago and contracts and ideas and dreams----

I am exhausted just from all the possibilities and relationships and issues and life--by keeping abreast with helping all of them through these issues.

But, how worthwhile to see the foundations mattered. The dreams began as we read books every day, feasted together and discussed life every night, dreamed lived by faith, whispered dreams into their little minds.

It all started when they talked of being superman, an astronaut, Dickens, Mozart. They were listening. They were dreaming. They were already planning to live by faith.

And now, they are keeping me exhausted just keeping up with them and supporting them in all of these ways.

Off to a movie, lunch and more of life with these dreaming ones.

Today, those living right in front of me.......

My family, my inner circle friends who are here for me during the ups and downs, who share secrets, fears, hopes and funnies-who I have shared years and years of life and stories and growing up of our children--through health issues, job losses, financial struggles, hurt feelings, lots and lots of fun and laughter-

Those that God has strategically placed into my life, these today, living right in the warp and woof of my life, in front of me, are those that God would have me love, serve and minister to right now. These are where I need to invest.  How easy it is with some of the media and books and messages that are popular to think that somehow doing something great, or going overseas, or coming back home, or doing something to be noticed by men, or, or, or, must be a better way to serve God or to make my life meaningful.

Yet, these are here in my life today---to teach me a lesson, to give me hope, to offer me an opportunity to listen, to see God's handprint in my moments, to receive love.

They are more important than writing one more blog post, having a  clean and orderly house, washed clothes or dishes, or getting more sleep or privacy. These are the gifts of God, the real live flesh and blood people who He has allowed in my inner circle who will be the real measure of my integrity and work, and who may not be here next year.

And so as God has opened my eyes to this anew,

I am hearing funny stories

ministry plans and books to be written

listening to dreams of romance--from all 4 of my children

dreams of life

quiet times and prayer needs and doubts and convictions

I am looking into eyes bright and trusting and eyes that have shed tears  and eyes that have sparkled with enthusiasm and irritation and I am present in my will and heart to really see what is behind those eyes.

I am listening to what God has spoken to and through my friends when they were reading their Bibles

I am eating spaghetti, homemade bread, petit fours--strawberry, pineapple, almond-chocolate

sharing cappacinos

walking 2 miles every day while talking, talking, talking and settling the world's problems and looking at the grand mountains ahead

talking to Nathan every day about life, his writing, jobs, daily events, fun stories, answered prayer and praying with him on the phone

hearing about Joel's pianist, posters, professors, getting excited about his concert, things he is learning about himself, God, enjoying being his confident and friend

making more plane arrangements, again and hotel--but this time for celebrating big moments to remember--milestones and God's goodness

Seeing Clay's sacrifice for our family, seeing his book be finished, hearing his plans, sharing his burdens

Just stopping to try to see what He is doing, how He wants me to be in this present moment, not frittering away the days that may never come again for pipe dreams where there is more rest or ease of life

And the winner is....

“A book burrows into your life in a very profound way because the experience of reading is not passive.”  Erica Jong,

I am a writer. I can't not write. I am writing in the shower, in the car, when I am washing dishes. I am thinking or teaching or writing all the time. It is not something I have to try to do--it is just there. From the Lord, perhaps what I was made to do. So even if I did not have a blog or speak, my love is studying, thinking, discussing and encouraging.

It is why I write books, blogs, in my journal. It is the way I interact with the Lord.

Even God was very specific about words. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God."

He loves to communicate to us. The word became flesh and spoke the messages of God through His life--He taught, counseled, encouraged, corrected, and left us a written account of His life, His love and His messages.

This is why I love books so much. You can hear a message, but when you take a book with you in the quiet of your own room, you read, your brain interacts with ideas as it was supposed to do, and the Holy Spirit has access to give you understanding, to convict your heart, to answer questions--to bring life and meaning to truth.

So, I take my writing and my books seriously. I desire that whoever reads them might encounter God and have a chance to have Him work in their lives, uniquely, right where they are, as they (hopefully) interact with truth and with Him.

I was so thrilled to see how many women were excited to have an opportunity to receive one of our books. I wish I could give them all away. (We even have to buy them from our own publisher.)

So, we will be giving many more of our books away and some of our tape sets. So stay tuned.

Here are the winners:

Mjoy  who will receive Mission of Motherhood

and

Kristy B who will receive a Seasons of a Mother's heart.

In light of the interest in our books, I wanted to tell you about a wonderful friend of mine who has a similar heart for the wisdom of books and discussing them with like-minded women.

My friend, Jessica, has a wonderful blog and she had a brilliant idea to have an online book discussion each month this year, to enrich women's souls, to give them a place to discuss and to grow in their walk with God. She and I share the same heart and values to love, disciple our children and to make our home a place of ministry. One of the books she will be discussing this year is Dancing with My Father. So, I will be giving away one of those as it gets closer to the time of her reading of this book.

You can read about her book ideas here: http://lifeasmom.com/2010/12/booking-it-in-2011.html

I look so forward to discussing more of the ideas that I have written about in my books in the days ahead and will be even doing a video series especially online. But I am still in the last couple of weeks of my busy time with my sweet ones before Joy graduates, so will be here at least a little.

I so appreciate the prayers. Please keep them coming as we are in the midst of some big issues. But there is some hope on the horizon and some little miracles of some help in some medical areas as well as people coming along beside us in ministry and life. We love Him who is faithful. Our lives depend on God working, but we believe He is working and are so very grateful for the place we have in His throne room and the access we have to talk to Him about all that is happening and to know He cares and is working His purposes. May He bless each of you today.

Don't listen to the nay sayers

My creator made this--near my home.

There are so many throughout history who would say, "It can't be done." or "You'll never make it." or "At this time in our culture, you just can't expect anyone to be pure." Or, Or, or

Scripture is full of nay sayers. God disciplined Israel for 40 years in the desert for every day they were "spies" in the promised land and looked at the giants and did not believe Him for His provision for fighting their battles to give them the land of milk and honey. Forty years in the desert is a high price to pay for lack of faith, but God made his point.

These are some of the things nay sayers said to me.

"You just may not be the type to get married." (when I was 27) Got married at 28

"You may not be able to have children." (7 pregnancies, 4 children)

"You don't have the right kind of breasts to breast feed." (Now that one was really funny---breastfed all 4)

"If you breast-feed this failure to thrive baby, (my first one--in neonatal care) you may cause her brain damage because you have had the flu and may not make enough milk. (She gained weight the first week at home because I let her eat whenever she wanted to--she gained over a pound the first week and thrived--even made a perfect scores on one of her college tests--evidently brain was not damaged.)

"If you start your own ministry or business, 95% fail financially and have to go under. It just isn't the wisest thing to do." (We went 4 1/2 without a salary, shopped at good will, etc. and by God's grace got Whole Heart and Whole Heart Press up and going for the last 18 years.)

"Homeschooling is too hard. You will never be able to do it, especially not in the high school years." Made it all the way through with each one.

"You will never teach this one to read." reads and reads and reads

"He will lose his faith for sure. Look at the people he is running around with." Didn't lose his faith, loves God so very much and has a heart for those who are lost.

Satan would just love for us to give up on our ideals, on our marriages, on our family, on our kids, on church, on ourselves.

Now, I did have my days of doubt, and my pathways of darkness, but God kept speaking to us of faith and hard work and trusting Him and He never told us to leave our ideals in these areas. We are so very glad we did not listen to the voices.

Don't listen.

Just don't let them linger in your head. Have time in the word, pray, write down your commitment, hold fast and be a person of faith. Speak truth to your brain.

Now, Clay and I have new areas in which to say "no" to the nay sayers. May we live by faith and hope until we see Him face to face.

"But when I come back, will I find faith upon the earth?"

Thanks for all who have prayed. We need it and are blessed by joining you in the heavenlies. Thanks for your kind words and support. It means the world to us and to our children.

The Sacrifice of love

Mary Cassat

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

"Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

I keep thinking about these verses. We want so much to give our lives to the "bigger" cause. We want to invest our lives for what is important. And yet, is there anything more important than the building of a righteous soul?

The laying down of our lives is not just about moving to the most impoverished country or preaching to thousands, but loving the one right in front of us; the child who would long to have our comforting touch and gentle voice speaking life-giving words, that he may imagine the voice and touch of God when He ponders faith as a young adult and chooses to believe because the reality of God was tangible in his home.

The child who needs one more song to be comforted before sleeping, so that he might  be able  in adulthood to believe in a God who is patient and willing to answer prayer and hear our voice when we as his children cry out in faith.

The child who is lonely, confused, hormonal, who will feel the touch of God, the sacrifice of God as we give up the rights to our time and comfort to befriend and listen and show compassion and sympathy for what is on his heart.

Love is given through a candle lit and a special breakfast served one more time on Sunday before church as we open the gospel together, that the reality and beauty of God's creativity is validated in how we live.  It is shown with the sacrificial life of giving up what we wanted to do, or the job we hoped to have, in order to build a soul through the attention of ourselves. A looking into the eyes with true interest and compassion instead of looking at a screen while half-heartedly listening. These are the sacrifices of our love, the moment by moment giving up of ourselves, the constant, year end year out practice of worship as we serve those in our home in order to please His heart.

It is for Him, for His kingdom that we serve with willing, generous, life-giving hearts, as the building of His kingdom is one heart at a time.

Jesus could have done the big thing, and reached leaders all over the world and brought kings to their knees. But He gave his life to the personal, the love, encouragement, instruction, service of his twelve, the common people, those entrusted into his hands, that they might know and feel the love of God, the touch of God, hear the words of God. He laid down His life in the daily that they might live a life of faith and invest in His kingdom for eternity.

Your loving touch, patient service, and sacrifice of time today is not in vain. It is a sacrifice of worship to the One who laid down His own life in moments of time, that we could imagine what God was really like by viewing the incarnate, servant King--the Providing Father.

Happy Sunday.

I am hoping for a miracle or two

"Friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they're always there."

~ Hulali Luta

I am so thankful for you. Deeply grateful for your kind words, encouraging notes and emails.

I would so appreciate your prayers for me and for my family as we are in need of His grace---

some big health issues --healing is needed

some future direction and favor for God to open doors

wisdom and guidance for Clay and me in our ministry

and refreshment and strength in the midst of this daily journey

the ability to love Him well and to stay faithful to the end.

My deepest gratitude.

Secret to miracles in your family

Francois Musin

As many of you know, I am a lover of classical art. When I found this picture, I thought it aptly pictured the journey of my own family. Clay and I were in the boat, seeking faithfully to guide our children to a healthy life of righteousness, in the midst of constant storms and challenges that seemed to plague us every step of the way. I know so many of you are waiting for me to get to specifics, which I will do very soon.

But foundations are so important. We have talked about your view of God, addressed the policing attitude of child discipline. One more thing before we move to specifics.

The source of grace, wisdom, beauty, health, goodness in our family amidst the storms--the way we made it through--was totally the Lord Jesus, God our Father, scripture and walking with Him in faith. The secret is Him. What are the hindrances to walking by faith?

Fear

When we walk by fear, we say, "Oh, no. I am not a good enough parent. What if my children give into cultural storms? What if we do not have enough money to make it? I can't do this. It is too much for me. I am not adequate." We tend to look at the storm around us and find it too threatening and become discouraged. The spies in Canon looked at their "giants" with fear and became as grasshoppers in their own sight. The thousands of soldiers looks at Goliath and failed to trust God. When Simon looked at the face of Jesus, he could walk on the water, but in the storm stories, when the disciples looked at the wind and waves, they felt panic and lived in total fear. Hundreds of times in scripture tells us to "Fear not." If you are living in fear, the life of God will be squeezed out. We cannot live by fear in parenting or we will fail to show our children the reality of God

Formula

The Pharisees wanted laws to depend on, rules, works. A parent who is dependent on Formula says, "If I spank this way, or follow these rules, or use this curriculum or find the right formula, then I will find the secret to raising a perfect child." This kind of parenting depends on works. It puts children into one box and treats them all the same. This reliance on works is dependent on "getting it right," doing it right, being perfect to attend to the law. This type of parenting can also be a little fear based--rock music, dress, bad influences, tv, movies, people--life--will tempt my kids, so if I prohibit all of these things, and follow my rules exactly and hold fast to my legalism, then my kids will be safe.

Of course, being wise about some of these influences is important. But our children have been born into a dark world. We cannot keep them from all that might harm them out there by using control, rules, laws and formulas. God is still God even in this time in history. Formulas will disappoint. Formulas do not regard the heart as one of the most important factors. Following law will never equal the redeeming power of God and no matter how you search, you will not find the right formula--If God had wanted us to follow a formula, He would have made it easy and spelled a formula out.

Flesh

We tend to depend on ourselves and put lots of effort into forcing our world to be more controlled. If I just get up earlier, if I just have more quiet times, if I just control my kids more, if I can expose them to the best curriculum, get the right experiences, make all organic stuff, be more perfect, be a good mom, teach them manners, get the right training, provide the best friends, then I will have better children. The flesh depends on the advice and input of man--media--experts--working harder, putting more effort into it.

Now of course, again, parenting is hard work. But when we try to help God by exerting great amounts of energy--helping him, depending on our own abilities--"I am naturally a great person and I can come up with what my child needs," then eventually, we will come up against our own limitations and want to throw our hands up into the air and give up. "I can't do this. I am exhausted. I am failing. You have asked me to do more than I can possibly do.

Faith

Since we know that God's will is good and acceptable and perfect, then we know He has not asked us to do more than we are able to do. And so some of the requirements we area placing on ourselves are from fear of people, or rules of others that put pressure on us or trying to win the hearts of our children by exerting our wills.

God brought me to the end of myself--3 out of 4 clinically asthmatic kids; 3 ocd kids, one adhd; 17 moves, church splits, fire in our home, car accidents, etc. There is no way I could do it all or be perfect.

But, God wanted me to walk by faith in Him. Every day I learned to give to Him my fish and loaves. Lord, I know I am not perfect, I cannot provide all my children need. But I am giving you my best, my heart---here are my fish and loaves. You make it enough. No child is the same. No family puzzles are the same. God, our devoted and ever-present Father, wants us to come to Him, to ask Him to work, to ask His grace to fill our homes, to ask Him who has access to the brains of our children, for Him to draw them to himself.

And so, miracles happen where God is the one we depend on to work. We acknowledge we are not adequate, but He is. We release our problems and sadnesses, and limitations and fears into His hands and leave them there, and then move to an attitude of worship---can't wait to see what you do, Lord, sort of attitude of faith. We do what He leads us to do and live within our own limitations every day. Whatever we do not get done, we put it back into His file and have a go again tomorrow. He is the source of supernatural life, and He wants us to walk this parenting path by faith as we would walk all of the other paths of our life by faith. It is no different in parenting.

One of my friends recently said to me, "Sally, it seems like you have a lot of miracles strewn through your life. How do you account for that?" I told her that my life required miracles, for Him to work, or I wouldn't make it. He is the ultimate source and answer and strength, but He is also the way of peace.

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My husband, Clay, is a brilliant thinker and writer. He is the one who passed this outline of "F's" on to me and you can read all about it in his wonderful book, Heartfelt Discipline, which we hope to be able to put back into print later this summer. Grace, peace, and faith to you all today.

Filling Your Soul With Love and Grace Divine

 

"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3

I have received thousands of responses to my blogs on child discipline lately. I see how many sweet ones there are who truly want to do the best and be the best for their children. But before I do one more post on child discipline, I just felt I wanted to tell you how very precious you are and how much your own personal life matters.

I awakened this morning with you on my heart. I know there must be many precious moms out there who are reading these articles and are feeling inadequate or guilty or condemned--or just worn out!  I have been praying for you all morning.

Motherhood is very precious to the Lord. As a matter of fact, the more I mothered, the more I came to understand Him, His love, His sacrifice, His forgiveness, His patience. Motherhood is not an easy journey. I kept feeling that I needed to have more children so I could do it right at least once!

And yet motherhood is a long journey, a hard and challenging journey, that will require much endurance with grace, much forgiveness, much patience and just a whole lot of energy expended.

You are truly important to God in the midst of it all. He sees you and cares for your dreams and desires. And so I wanted to write a little post just for you.

When I had my first baby, I had never even changed a diaper. I did not know how to hold a baby. I was unprepared for the task. I also did not know how selfish and self-absorbed I was. And I have to admit that over the years, there were many times when I did not feel loving or feel like a good mother or even feel like I wanted to *be* a mother. I was always committed to my children and always committed to loving them, because I knew God wanted me to. But I did not always like them and sometimes that made me feel guilty.

I just put one foot in front of the other because I thought that is what God wanted me to do.

So if you feel that you are not a "natural" mother, or you enjoy doing things outside your home, or you have other ambitions, please do not condemn yourself. I felt all of those feelings and had to learn how to balance the different pulls on my life. But God has loved me and led me through it all.

I know that there are so many of you precious ones with deep scars. Perhaps you came from an angry family, where you were criticized or rejected. Or maybe you were ignored and you still wish someone would notice you and love you deep inside in those places that only you can feel.

Many of you made some bad choices morally that have deeply injured your own heart. Or you have a passive and indifferent or mean and abusive husband.

You are not defined by any of these things--not by what people have said to you, not by your flaws (we all have them), and not by your past failures or present difficulties. God loves you so very much. God is with you. God is your champion.

We read that when He looked out on the multitudes, He had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus sees our needs. He loves us. He cares for how each of you feel deep in your heart.

You are so very precious to God. He is on your side. He will be your warrior God in all the battles in your home. He will help you and defend you and pour out His unconditional love on you. He is the source of your strength and joy. Nothing can separate you from His love. Romans 8

There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

The only way we can truly make it in this life productively is to tend to the garden of our own souls. The only way you can be a loving mother or friend is to have your soul filled with the deep, unchanging, unconditional love of God.

I love the picture above. I picture my soul as a garden that must be tended and cultivated and watered. If my own soul is healthy, then all who draw from my soul, will receive true nurture and strength. However, I do not know of any great women who have not been very intentional about cultivating and building themselves into godly women. They invested purposefully to become who they are.

A wise woman builds her house, but it starts with a plan!

You may find criticism from the world. But in Christ, you will find love, deep, abiding, unconditional love and all that you need for your task. But you must choose to invest your time wisely.

So what are some ways to fill your own soul so that you may have strength and love to give?

1. Surround yourself with good and godly friends.

I once heard a speaker say that he will do anything to put himself in the company of people who make Him want to love God more, who make Him want to be a better person--who inspire Him. But that he would avoid all of those who spread poison or gossip or discouragement as much as possible.

I have a friend, Phyllis, who I know will always point me to God. Just being with her is like being in the presence of the Lord's encouragement, because she walks with Him and points me to him. Gwen is such a friend, and Deb, Shelley, Lynn, Beth and Sarah and Joy, ..........I gather these friends over the years and invest in them because they invest in me.

Find those friends, challenge a friend to be a prayer partner, to study a book together, to meet with you on a regular basis.

2. Spend time every day with the Lord. Find books, resources, people who can help you with this. (Go though the Psalms and circle or underline every promise or character quality of God. Read one chapter of John or Matthew a day and write down one lesson you have learned. Read through Philippians and note all the ways Paul tells us to follow Jesus.)

3.  Clean out your soul on a regular basis--get rid of the rubbish that has kept you from experiencing God's love. (If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us from our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.) Don't hang on to bitterness or condemnation--it will poison you. I have a friend, Sarah Mae, who is dear to me as though she were a daughter. She has recently published an ebook called Core Lies, that she is offering for free. We must rid our hearts from lies that would keep us from experiencing the generous love of God.

4. Surround yourself with books, blogs, people who feed your mind on truth, who draw you to become a better self.  There are many, many women in my life who do that to me. But I wanted to point you to three of my favorites.

I love these women because they have chosen to have integrity in their lives when no one was looking. They have invested thousands of hours in the presence of God. They have chosen to love and serve Him, to always turn in the direction of faith. I know they are not perfect, but they hold fast to a Faithful God who carries them. They are also seasoned women who have chosen to faithfully love and serve their children, and husbands, even amidst challenging times. They have weathered life and from that weathering, have garnered stories of His faithfulness. Feed on their life-giving words. I do so love these women.

Brenda Nuland-- a mother of two grown children, who cultivates life, beauty, goodness and faithfulness in her home.Brenda always encourages me, feeds my soul and gives me loyal friendship.

Elizabeth Foss--a sweet mother of 9 children, whose devotion to God, gentle mothering of her children, and great thoughts always challenge me. She is humble and loyal as a friend and has learned to persevere with grace.

Ann Voskamp-an artist with words and photography, who deeply cherishes her precious Lord and wants to sing his messages into the lives of those in her pathway. Her gentle, humble words are always filled with grace that she found from walking closely with Him.

5. Spend time in nature--his workshop. When I see the artistry of God, and rest in the glory of the canopy of His beauty, I find great peace. Creation was made for us. He designed the stars for us to understand His vastness--His strength and ability to be bigger than us, to show us His power. He designed color, flowers, mountains, waterfalls, snow, rain, to show us His design. When I invest time in His works of art, I am inspired to reflect His art and beauty in my home as a picture of His reality in an otherwise dark world. Creation nurtures my soul when I take time to observe it.

6. Restore, relax, recreate. Young moms need a break.(and old moms and moms of teens, and........) They need sleep. Sometimes grumpiness or depression goes away with just a couple of good nights of sleep or time away with a friend. Moms need to have a friend who understands them and still loves them! They need to laugh and lighten up. Cultivate times of breaks in your life, times of just getting away. Don't always be serious--it is exhausting.

Our bodies need a sabbath rest. I take my tea time every day with a candle, book or magazine. I collect videos and movies and series of stories that delight my soul. I surround myself with music everywhere--at home, in the car, at dinner, when I am in a plane. I love rhythms and movement. I make time for cherished friends. I make fun for myself with my children so that we can just laugh and play and store up humor--everyone needs a break. (Read my daughter, Sarah's blog post from a couple of days ago--Christians need to learn how to lighten up and have fun.)

These precious ones are not just public figures to me, but in the privacy of friendship, offer such grace, humility, love and always make me want to love Him more.

This blog is way too long, but the point is, you are important. Your emotional, spiritual and physical health matters to God. If you cherish your soul and become a good steward of your needs, you will be stronger for your journey of life and more ready to meet its demands. But you are the one who must plan how to endure with grace and beauty. You must create a plan that best suits your puzzle of life. Grace and beauty and peace in the midst of it all.