i take joy.. an old picture stirred a memory

Wordsworth Home, Lake District England, 2009

Today, with Joy squished in next to me, I found some really wonderful and fun pictures that we had taken on a trek to England. it just happens that I was in the midst of seeking to search out the subject of joy in scripture and to make it a place I wanted to live in--God's joy. I do not always succeed, but seeing this picture, I remember that Joy had said, "Mom, hold up your hands and do a I take joy pose." I didn't exactly know what that was but this was my reaction and it made for a good memory. And so in light of finding this old picture, I commend you to his joy today and a remembrance of what I had written in a short journal article, became a letter to some friends overseas. As I enter the vortex of conferences today, it is a great reminder of my commitment to seek His joy as that is what I want to spread this weekend in Colorado.

Please pray for us as we have women coming from 15 states, all ages, many backgrounds and all here to hear from the Lord. Me too. So I will be away from here, but my wish for all of you is that these next few days, His joy might creep into the crevices of your life and bring you rest. And here is the old article of my heart.

I take joy

I look for it, I create it, I craft it, I affirm it, I build my grid of life to see it through the lens of spiritually enlightened eyes.

This is, This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Years ago, I began to reflect on what I was becoming and saw and heard from many women, precious women, all over the world, whose lives had been shattered, whose hearts had been hurt, whose pathway had been quite wearisome and hard.

And yet, there were a few, a very few of these women, who seemed to have a secret delight, a power, a light that came through their eyes and heart and demeanor--the way they valued others, the way they pictured themselves as a giver,

even in the midst of their own darkness. They had joy even through all the years. I wanted what they had--that there would be this "life" surging through my life, because these special women were different from all the rest--the life and joy they created was palpable.

Shouldn't one who knows Jesus, the God who spoke  the world into being and created pink sunrises,

baby's sweet chubby hands, rainbows amidst storm clouds, music that invites me to swing and sway, and chocolate--have the ability to give me joy, and a life beyond my circumstances.

And so I determined that joy would be a goal of mine, something I would seek, celebrate, live, choose every day, and so I started Itakejoy as a reflection of my commitment and I wrote Dancing with my Father, with the desire that I would hear the music of Him who was singing all the time and dance to the rhythm of His melody in and through my life.

This is the day the Lord has made, and so, I choose to rejoice, to look for His fingerprints, to light a candle in the darkness as much as possible the rest of my life.

Happy Weekend to all.

Conflict within, conflict without--seeking Jesus

"In this world, you have tribulation, but take courage." Jesus

Seems at times, I write the same things over and over again. It is because I am learning the same things over and over again.

If there is one thing I do not like, (I am a strong feeler on Myers-Briggs.), it is conflict. I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to have harmony and to get along. I long for harmony in my life.

But if there is one thing I have learned, this world where we live is a battle. The ground is cursed and produces thorns and thistles when we work, and really it means, everything tends towards disorder, (second law of thermo-dynamics).

Relationships are a challenge as all the people I have ever met are sinners and fragile and make mistakes.

Children are born self-centered and self-absorbed, and so training them to become unselfish, and to have a servant heart, will cost us years of our lives--we have to go against their very nature, to help them to become mature.

And then there is my sinful self--we won't talk about how many regrets I have for all the ways I have been petty or selfish over the years.

Seems there is conflict everywhere--in my family, with my children's friends, in church, with my friends and co-workers, you name it--it is just lurking somewhere around the corner.

And if there is anything that makes me want to quit ministry, it is conflict or misunderstanding.

And yet, if I were to be honest, it is the times of conflict, difficulty, stress, in which He has worked most in my soul.

It is in falling or being accused that I knew more about the need to give people the grace I would have wanted. It is in being unjustly accused, that I became more humble and needy of Him. It is in struggling through the conflict that has evolved over years in our family circle, that I learned to have compassion on other women who have struggled with their own backgrounds. It is in bearing with my children and serving them, that God has taught me how deeply He loves me that He would bear with me and love me and serve me, in spite of myself, because I am His child.

And so, I am learning and have learned, that it is at these very points of stress, where our character is revealed and formed.

Jesus has become my contemplation more and more as I become older.

"While being reviled, he did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God, who judges righteously." I Peter 2:23

The older I become, the more I fall in love with Jesus. He could have screamed and yelled and become frustrated and accused, so many, many times. He has every right to be frustrated with me--I say I want to follow Him and then I do something petty.

And yet, He offers love, over and over again--"Father, I desire that they know the love I have known from the very beginning."

He is gentle, He is patient, He loves abundantly and generously, even though none of us deserves it.

And so, running away is not an option. It is challenge and difficulty where unconditional love is most miraculous. Bringing love and gentleness and courage into darkness heals, relieves, brings light.

And so, running away is not an option. If I want Him to make my soul into the likeness of Jesus, I must strive, work, seek to attain His gentle ways, His sacrificial love, His peace-making heart. It is the carving of His reflection on my soul. And so, more and more, I humbly seek Him, pray to Him, ask Him to help me be filled with His spirit, so that I may not offend Him, but may, out of great gratitude become, every year, more and more of a great lover.

So, today, if you really love Him,

you may not run away, I may not run away--

Nobility of His Holy Spirit will spur us on to love, peacemaking, and graciousness, because this is what He will live out through those who love Him the most-unrelenting, firm, excellent love.

Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for a friend.

Greatness vs. Mediocrity--the extra mile

I am at an age where I have the privilege of evaluating and pondering and being philosophical about life. Many women I know started off well in pursuing their ideals as a woman, a Christian, a mother. Yet, along the way, culture gives us permission to compromise, at first, just a little and then more and more, until one doesn't even know how far they have come from their ideals.  I also find women who say, "I can't do this," whatever the this is--they look at themselves and their limitations and just decide it is so.

And then, of course, all of us become weary of giving and giving and giving, and this, too. leads to us becoming slack, slow, excusing ourselves.

Now I don't want you to think I do not understand all of these thoughts and feelings, I have had them many times, but I have learned that I have a bigger capacity to endure. to work hard, to cultivate faithfulness--than I ever knew. God has shown me over the years that He will help me mount up over the difficulties that I supposed were too much for me. I had just never been trained to have character and to be strong.

That is why in Hebrews we are told, "Run the race with endurance that is set before you."  Hebrews 12: 1o-2. This does not mean gutting it out and barely making it, it means running purposefully, with a good heart, with His strength. You can do more than you think.

Join me today for more thoughts about going the extra mile, pursuing excellence at http://www.thebettermom.com/ and today, take a deep breath, put away the distractions and run this race of faith with renewed energy. May you be blessed.

Sowing seeds of creativity, excellence and refinement

The treasure chest of the soul.....

What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul....Joseph Addison.

By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established;

And by knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24: 3-4

As Joel, Joy and I drove home last night from visiting a hurting friend, we began to speak of the need of soul filling of our culture. I shared with them, "I hope that at each juncture of life, with each person you meet, you will have in the grid of your mindset that you need to leave some bit of love, words of life, knowledge, wisdom, a corpus of thoughtful and illuminating ideas--that you will seek to fill the lives of those with whom you spend time, with something of the eternal good."

"You have to have a soul filled with light, beauty and intellect in order to have something to give," Joel pondered.

Somehow, the subject turned to music. "Remember all of the music we listened to as kids, Mom?"

Do I remember? I carefully sought it out and created places for us to listen, enjoy, discuss, dance to, etc.

"I loved Classical Kids--you know I still play them when I clean my room, Mom. My favorite was Beethoven Lives Upstairs", offered Joy.

"Oh, I loved the Magic Flute by Mozart , and the aria that the woman sang. Joy, did you know it is one of the most challenging arias to perform in all of music?"

As which point, all of us started to belt it out together, seeing who could hit all of the high notes and all of the ones in between, amidst laughing chattering--no it was like this........Then the conversation turned to the Messiah, the Nutcracker, Les Miserable, Narnia, and we pulled into our driveway.

Joel immediately came in the house and put on the Messiah and while we were popping corn, making finger sandwiches and piling up a plate of fruit, we sang to the choruses while we were making a Sunday night snack. All of this bubbling out from what they had stored up and cherished.

And so my soul was filled to observe what was coming out of the souls of my children. The satisfaction of seeing that investment of what is eternal will indeed reap rewards.

As I have said many times before, I pictured my children's souls as a treasure chest and sought to fill their souls with substance of excellence, beauty, life-changing thoughts and ideas, the best books, the most beautiful stores and literature, fine music and concerts, science and creation, loving, sacrifice, serving,  great people and ministry opportunities.

One of the great accomplishments and most fulfilling purposes and work of a godly woman is to become a condutor of all the is good, true and beautiful in the minds, souls and lives of her children. And so, it is satisfying to see that it has all been stored up there, in the deep recesses of my children's souls--that what we sow, they will reap.

It is not about curriculum, it is about life and investment and mentoring and joy. We dance to His truth and leading in front of our children and they become familiar with the ways and values of he Master Artist as we celebrate Him in our homes, and they in turn dance the steps in their own lives.

Is that your baby?

Joy and a sweet friend, Karlyn

Up at 5:15, pack, threw quick breakfast together and jumped in the car.

(Clay had started it and turned on the heater since it was FREEZING when we left. Yeah for an organized man!)

Off to drive an hour drive which turned into 1:45 minutes, in bumper to bumper traffic in Denver.

On our way to a speech and debate tournament for Colorado.

The first man we met walked up to Joy and said, "So why do you like Apologetics?"

Joy, who is doing it for the first time today, (but he didn't know it), gave an articulate answer. She looked beautiful in her professional suit--and then the man said, looking at me, "So, I guess she (Joy) must be your claim to fame."

I smiled and said of course she is.

Then someone walked up to me and said, "I think I know you. Is that your baby?" looking at Joy.

And then it hit me,

Last child, prayed for after three miscarriages, last one at home, always filling everything around her with humor, wit, sparkle, serious pontification, and fun.

"Yes, she is my baby", I got out , with a lump in my throat.

My children are now my best friends. I don't think I will ever be ready for my baby to leave me.

But, she, and my other children, are indeed my claim to fame---my treasure and joys. Today, I will cheer and coach and listen one more time to Apologetics, Cheaper by the Dozen Oral Interp, A Literary persuasive,

and I will be present every minute, attuned to her every move, smile, giggle and sound,

as I seek to hold on to my last few months, my last few moments with this baby girl, now all grown up.

Setting Goals for Eternity

Running the race with endurance that is set before them......

My children must run the course of their lives in this fallen world. They will confront many temptations, cultural battles, difficulties, limitations and stresses. I hope, and pray, that on this journey, they will hear the voice of God to hold fast, to cultivate faith, to overcome, to mount up with faith.

Today, I am writing and pondering, again, God's call on my life as a woman. These words fed my soul, as I continue to ponder my legacy in the life of my children and other mothers.

"In the end, the measure of my success as a mother will not be how well I have taught my children or cared for them but whether I have been faithful in helping them respond to God's call on their lives. Seeing my children develop a heart for God's service and begin to find their own place of ministry in the world is a reachable goal for me as a mother, because God has designed me to fulfill this purpose. The is the true ministry of motherhood--to usher my children into the living presence of God, to nurture in them a heart for Jesus and the Great Commission he has called each of us to fulfill."

Ministry of Motherhood

If I have given this legacy to my children, then they will not run in vain, but will finish the course God has set before them. And this is my calling as their advocate, mentor and parent.

*****Used- Blog 1/16/2021 We all sin and fall short

Bartolome Burrillo

How amazing, Jesus is the Father looking out with love for his prodigal son, to restore, to love, to bless.

Recently I received a letter from a sweet mom who said, "I have been hiding the story of my life because I was afraid I would be rejected by other Christian women."

Her marriage had been impossible, she had received bad counsel, a divorce had taken place. Her heart was broken.

Another had a sordid past before becoming a believer, and she was sure her friends would reject her if they knew.

Another friend had a prodigal. Another had a beautiful daughter who lived morally and had a good heart but was rejected for her clothing and was ostracized from her peer group and almost despaired in her faith in God. "How could Christians, who are supposed to love, treat me this way, when I have done nothing wrong?"

I have friends in my life who walk with God and yet they have had to bear with the onslaught of culture's battles raging in the lives of their children that have wrought scars. I have felt the ravage of disappointment from others and criticism, and so have my children.

Others have written articles on the web that they have been cast out from the crowd for voicing.

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

"It is to a man's honor to overlook a sin."

"Take the log out of your own eye."

We all want God to be patient when it comes to our own lives, but we are quick to point fingers of judgment at others as though their fragility and flaws are somehow worse than ours.

The older I get, the more I give grace and have compassion because I see my own selfish, sinful heart more clearly and so am more grateful for God's grace than ever before. Seeing your own self in the light of God's holiness humbles you. God tells us Himself that  he gives grace to the humble but is opposed to the proud. Humility opens our eyes more clearly to the magnificent sacrifice of Jesus--while we were yet sinners, he came into the world, he touched lepers, he forgave prostitutes, he had compassion on the crowds because they had no one to shepherd them.

I live in a world of swirling ideals--I uphold ideals, I seek to be holy, I teach my children about the righteousness of God

but these ideals should never give me a reason for  judging others.

My ideals, which I have come to by the grace of God,  should always lead me to serve, to help others find the path, to show others the grace I have been given, to accept others as I long to be accepted.

Even my own family has been more harmed in their walk with God by "Christians" than by unbelievers. My children have been targets of wagging tongues. But our family circle is a place where holy love abides and where safety and mercy are upheld--where Jesus' love flows freely.

Still, words can hurt deeply and can have consequences--woe to us if we are vessels of separation in the body of Christ.

He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.

Oh, the wisdom, the love, the grace, the freedom I find in Him. He is safe. Real friends provide safety, where hearts can be shared without fear of condemnation.

It would be easier to be a Christian if it were not for all the Christians who are so very judgmental.

Let us be those who love, who remember, "Love covers a multitude of sin." "Love is a perfect bond of unity."

I have often said, those who have not yet been humbled enough are the first to be critical.

Criticism kills. Love heals. May we all become better lovers day by day so that we are not a part of killing the dimly burning wick of faith in precious ones who have secrets and are longing for comfort, for grace, for help, acceptance, forgiveness.

May we all live, today, in the beloved grace and patience and mercy of God which is new every morning.

Have you sinned? Have you failed? Are you failing now? Have you been weak? Do you bear a difficult secret or shame?

God loves you and is waiting for you with His open arms of mercy. Live in the strength of His grace, go in the power of His resurrection love, and then, by your gratefulness, extend the mercy to others that you have so longed for in your life.

"They will know you by your love for one another."

"Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ."

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You might also like this from my son, Nathan, at MOB Society today

It all started with an invitation.

Old picture of sweet comrades in York where we visited Jame's Harriot's House (a trip that started from a friend inviting me over.)

An Invitation

Just reaching out, making one little phone call, an email or a fb message. Just a few invitations from friends have changed my life forever. That's how it has all started for me--these friends I have and don't deserve. One person took initiative to reach out to me, and through it events, thousands of lives influenced, family foundations changed for eternity,

No one else saw my silent prayers to know if God existed, but God saw. He put it on the heart of a woman to give me the time of day.

Someone knocked on my dorm door and asked if she could talk to me. She took a risk.....

She graciously showed interest in me and then told me how much God loved me and then invited me to a student meeting.

That's how it all started--finding love, finding friends, purpose, adventure, meaning, friends, fellowship.

Starting a ministry, writing books, creating a blog, hosting intensives, creating conferences.

She changed the course of my life, my marriage, my children's lives, my very destiny--all by one knock on my door and an invitation.

It just takes one person saying, "You want to go out to lunch or coffee?" Or "Would you like to come to my house for a cup of tea?"  "Do you want to talk?"or "Do you want to go with me to a Bible study for moms? It sounds interesting."

I am amazed at how much has happened in my life because one sweet, shy woman, boldly took initiative to knock on my door and talk to me.

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This morning, I have been on the phone talking with different friends from all over the United States, calling me to help with our Mom's conferences coming up.   I, in no way, deserve these sweet women but they are now in my life because 40 years ago, someone took the initiative to share a life-changing message with me. And so now, though I sin and make mistakes and do things I am embarrassed of, I learned to live by faith, believe in His miracles, invest in ideals and then share this with those He brought into my pathway. And now, I am over blessed with connection to women I never deserved to have as friends, but who willingly move into my heart, all because we are connected by this invisible, creative and loving Life--called Jesus.

I sit in my home and marvel what God has let me be a part of--a movement of like-minded women who want to make a difference in their own personal worlds. I am blessed with them because

 just  one woman

encouraged me to reach out and to call some friends to tell them about the good news that had changed my life.

So today, I am sitting in the adventure of my little den and seeing miracles take place.

One  friend, just called to pray with me about our family and ministry and health. Others wrote to offer to  are organize  the teas at the different conferences and to offer great ideas about food, talks, devotionals. Some are going to search out our traditional  hearts and chocolates that will grace the tables at the tables of each conference, as always in the past.

Talking to Sarah Mae in Penn. about our chapters in the new book we are writing. Talking with Kristen Kill in New York who is helping design a new ministry. Talking to Lynn Custer in North Carolina who called to say she found some favors. Emailing Misty in Florida about a new book club she is working on. Emailing with Courtney in Ohio about her ministry to women and spreading gentleness amongst the moms from her blog. Talking with Sandra Maddox in California who is providing a ride to the airport and an adventure and a poem. Getting emails from sweet friends saying they will organize the speakers, make meals, buy chocolates, ........

Feeling quite blessed to be associated with precious, servant leader women--they are amazing and we are all connected because of

One Invitation that someone took the initiative to give me to know Him, just 40 years ago

Is someone waiting for an invitation from you, that just might, beyond your imagination, change the course of history?

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Please note my new button. Would so appreciate it if you would use it and share it on your blog--Thanks to my sweet husband for taking time this morning to design it for me.

HTML on side of my blog under the new banner! Thanks for sharing this with others!

*****Used blog 1/7/2021 Do not be conformed, but be transformed

Do not be conformed to this world.

Lots of peer pressure out there. It is hard to be different in a world where most people want to fit in and  to be alike. It seems that my whole life, I have been called to be different than most of my peers. I would have loved at times to just blend in--but He called me to a different life.

Yet, in scripture, holy means to be the set apart one. God calls us to be set apart for His glory--not our will but His--that is how Jesus taught the disciples to pray. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done."

The only place we can find peace and joy is in God's will, so if we try to find it in, to conform, we will not find His blessing or rest, peace and joy.

I remember when I left full time ministry to stay home with my children, I was criticized for leaving "the ministry." Such a shame, they said, a waste of your arena and skills and influence.

When I decided to have more children, as many as God would provide, some well meaning believers said, "You already have your boy and your girl, and kids take up a lot of time and are expensive. Why would you have more?" (This from many places)

When I wanted to have one more when I was in my 40's, after 3 miscarriages, I heard from many places how unwise it was to have a baby in my 40's and how unhealthy for me. But I had prayed......

When I wanted to homeschool my children, I kept hearing and hearing and hearing how they would be unsocialized and that I would see, eventually, just how hard it was and that I would quit when they were teens. God lead me to keep going.

When I had an out of the box child who struggled with some passages in life, I was told I was not disciplining enough and I needed to spank more--but this child responded to gentleness and firmness. And so I prayed, and loved and trained patiently for many years.

When I read articles on how important it was to read to my children and focussed them on great authors, great minds, experiences  and discipling  them and walk by faith in the home nurture and education of my children, I was criticized for the possibility of leading many  astray through my articles and speaking--after all how do you know you are not missing a lot by not using proved curriculum? How do you know that you are not hindering their development and ability? But we had prayed and sought wisdom.........

All of these voices and more criticized me, and told me I would find out I was wrong. These voices proved to create havoc in my soul, and stress in my life.

But, I kept having quiet times and praying and was, as much as I knew how, following God by faith. I do not pretend to say that His way for me is the right way for everybody, but I had to listen to Him and follow Him by faith, even though it took me in different directions than everyone else.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.........

And so, as I am seeking His voice these days, he is again saying, "You, follow me." "You, live by faith." "You, do my will."

Adam and Eve didn't listen to His voice when He was calling them to loyalty in the garden.

The spies did not listen to Him, but looked at the giants when they saw the land of milk and honey He had already prepared.

The soldiers could not  defeat the giant because they did not hear God's voice, only a young boy could do so.

It is age old to want to fit in--but only those who listen closely, who seek intently, will have the blessing and privilege to hear Him, to see His ways and to live in the grace that only comes from resting in Him, and obediently walking by faith.

Where is He leading you today? Follow Him only.

***USed blog 1/7/2021 Freedom to enjoy life, and monkey around a little bit.

Jessie Wilcox Smith  one of my favorite artists of children! Go make yourself a treat and monkey around a bit!Galatians 5:1 "It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." (especially stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.)

Today, I am going away for two whole days. A long time friend of mine, (a young man we have known since he was 15), works at a 5 Star Hotel and has arranged a beautiful, cozy, delightful place for me to escape for 2 days, so I can just spend time praying, reading, sleeping, eating and dreaming--pondering and planning for the season of life that is ahead. I feel like a little girl in a toy shop--I am so excited and anticipating this very rare time!

But I wanted to leave a few thoughts about starting the year out with freedom and joy--the freedom that comes from deciding to like who God has made me, understanding that it is enough and accepting my limitations. Dancing with my Father was about cultivating joy--choosing celebration and light and learning to dance to the rhythms He has already set in motion if I only hear His voice and see the beauty He has planted in my pathway. So I leave you a little bit of grace from my past posts and hope you will live in this freedom today and every day this year.

"And the work of righteousness will be peace and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17

I have seen some books and articles going around that suggest that moms don't really need a break from their children if they are mature and have really accepted the mantle as a godly mother--and that it is possible to be around them all the time without going crazy.

"A real committed mom never needs to get away from her children." or other such statements that create law and subjective standards for moms.

One such silly rule  I read when I was young that about did me in, was that "Mature Christian women always kept the insides of their drawers straight and orderly." Really? That is when I threw this book to the Good Will pile, and I should probably thrown it away. Just never found that verse in scripture--thank the Lord.

Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I hope I don't step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women and make them feel guilty unnecessarily. This is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women at times without having to feel guilty for leaving their children, or for having failed or for making different choices. And God crafted different personalities so that women could express different attributes of God and His strengths.

I have come to really question truths like the ones above because they come across as universal and sound wise, but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times?" Or is it possible that there is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind. "It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."

I wrote a chapter in Seasons of a Mother's Heart about legalism imposed upon us by others that produces burdens God never intended us to carry. I find it interesting that God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. No lists about just how to discipline a child, how long to spank, at what age, and for how long, for instance. Or no rule book about what a mom should cook if she was really bringing health to her family or what exact music was acceptable and what music would indeed lead a child astray. Or what it really looks like to submit to a husband-(they are all different and have different preferences!)

Not ever a verse that says, "Every mother should stay with her children all the time every hour or else they are not spiritual and their children will go astray." Or, or, or. There is so much in scripture about living by faith, trusting God and Paul and Jesus were so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee and putting heavy loads on people.

Now, I find that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity and of course, I  came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my heart.

But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, but as a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom and then living by faith and watching His grace. God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, If I walk it with Him.

There are so many wonderful teachers and speakers who have such a good heart and love the Lord and want to encourage. But the bottom line is the word of God is to be our ideal and not just "wisdom" from others that is extra-Biblical and not scripture--and I find God to be a better task master than most humans I have ever known.

I find that so many young moms lacked good families and they want to "do it right" with their own children, and so they are willing to believe anything in print or that they heard a speaker say and then put themselves under great burdens, in the name of Christian ideals. And so these pathways lead to disappointment with self and with your own children because they will never ever measure up to someone else's standard or measure.   Then, these sweet moms,  eventually find themselves wanting to give up ideals because they are very depressed or overwhelmed and unable to serve this impossible master. There is no grace and peace in legalism and a rules based life.I find that the longer I walk with the Lord, the more freedom I feel to be who I am. I don't have to live by anyone else's laws. Clay and I just have to answer to God and scripture,  not to an arbitrary list of someone else's standards. I think that living overseas and traveling a lot has helped in this area a little. Every culture I see and each national that I meet has a different tradition of worshiping God and a different set of circumstances to deal with coming from a different culture in applying the word of God. When I meet people from all over the world, I realize that God is so much bigger and beyond my own box. And yet, he allows all of us, from so many different points of view, to enter into His rest and redemption and forgiveness because of His wonderful, gracious love.

My real desire in writing this article, though, is to give moms permission to be themselves. There is no "one right way". Each of you has a different puzzle to solve--different children's personalities, husbands and even a different personality yourself. Some of you are introverts and some extroverts. Some trained and educated in high spiritual values and some coming at it for the first time.

But the bottom line is, that as a wise woman, you need to figure out how you can best make it in the long run--loving God and loving your family, and finding ways to do this so that your own spirit is filled with life and joy.

You are just exactly the right person, the one who God picked to shepherd these children in ways that no one else could. So live in that freedom today and enjoy your own unique family culture. This is the day the Lord has made--rejoice in the moments and be glad.