On an evening walk at home, facing the mountains, as the sun sets.
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life." I Thess. 4:11
This has not been a quiet week.
Launch week with lots of giveaways, articles, facebook notifications, and adrenalin being spilled out, has left me longing for the quiet of sabbath rest and restoring.
You have all been such very good sports and we feel so supported in our desire to launch this book as a part of a movement of bringing hope to the mamas who craft the home fires and love that lives there.
How very grateful we are for all that you, our precious friends, have done to make us feel supported in this, our effort of worship.
But now, we wish you beauty, rest, fun and the celebration of life with your sweet ones today.
Today, my heart will be turned to home.
Savory soups bubbling on the stove and warm bread with butter and strong cures of cheese, accompanied by homemade applesauce.
Long walks in the woods and mountains, taking in the art of leaves, chill wind, snow blowing across the covered white grass, dark colors of navy in the sky and reminder that life is always changing, and always to be cherished-- with my most precious ones.
Fireplaces blazing with tea or coffee or cider and stories being read.
Real conversations that take lots of time, face to face without my eyes on a machine or phone--but real listening, touching, sharing hearts, giving words of encouragement and life--which require time and focus.
Long quiet times, seeking Him and His values and His ways for myself and my family.
Filling my mind with story, encouragement, inspiration, rest, so that I actually have something left in my soul to offer to those who would draw from there.
Rest and Sabbath times--quiet, away, undistracted, peaceful.
Mom Heart Ministries, Whole Heart Ministries--building a generation of godly children by providing books, resources, blogs and conferences to inspire moms in their strategic role as moms. That is what has been on our hearts and in our dreams for this work of God for many years.
Motherhood is a calling. God created mothers to be a part of His hand, bringing righteousness to every generation through their life-giving relationship with their children.
Yet, today's culture lives with no imagination for what a mother was created to do. With little support, no one to help teach moms how to manage their wee ones, and isolation, it is so easy to become discouraged and feel depressed, then guilty for not being the mom most women planned to be.
That is why each of us needs a friend, someone who loves us and believes in us;
someone who is all grace, who helps us to learn the dance, to sing the song of the life of motherhood.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up ... though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.," we read in Ecclesiastes.
For almost 20 years, my husband, Clay, and I have been seeking to be a part of building a movement of moms all over the world who understand their Biblical role as mothers who will shape the soul and heart of the next generation through the lives of their own children.
And now, Sarah Mae and I, and all of our friends and ministry partners, have been seeking to create small groups, community, encouragement and validation for motherhood through precious mamas like you.
Won't you join us? Won't you pray with us, start a group, and gather with like-minded women, to build strong bonds of support with other moms all over the world?
Desperateis more than just a book-- it is a call to be a part of what we think the Holy Spirit is doing among moms. It is the pinnacle of our many years of ministry in seeking to build a movement giving life to communities of moms all over the world, to that they could find inspiration, encouragement and support in this great role.
In light of so many of you supporting us in this amazing venture of our launch week, we have a couple more gifts to send your way!
First, don't forget about the gifts you receive if you purchase 5 or more copies; this is the last day you can get the gifts.
Today is the last day you can get the FREE gifts for purchasing multiple copies of Desperate. If you were thinking about facilitating a small group, today would be a good day to get the books for it! Last day gifts:
One free custom print from Red Letter Words (400 available)
Clay's book, Heartfelt Discipline, has been a foundational book for helping parents understand how to discipline and train their children; to reach their hearts with the love, truth and wisdom of God. It has been out of print for a couple of years. However, we now have the first run which will be coming out in a couple of weeks! I would love to give away a copy of his book today, the last day of our launch.
Also, I would love to give away one ticket for a mom to be able to attend a Mom Heart conference of her choice, where we will have a wonderful gathering of moms and talk about moving from Desperate to Destiny--hope for the moms in the trenches.
Our Mom Heart conferences are all about community and friendship. We hope to see many of you there with us this year to hear from Sarah Mae and me and so many others who are excited about what God is doing in our midst.
To Receive Your Free Gifts For Purchasing Multiple Books
In order to receive these free gifts, please email a copy of your receipt and your mailing address to desperatebook@thomasnelson.com. This “Launch Week Giveaway” is running from 12:00am EST on 1/7/2013 to 11:59EST on 1/12/2013. Your receipt must show the purchase of 5 or more copies of the book during this time period to receive your free gift. Once your receipt has been reviewed, you will be sent an email confirmation and further details on the delivery of your gift.
My living room, waiting for friends to join me--maybe it will be you?
Having a cup of hot tea, sipping soup with a crust of homemade bread, sharing lunch with my precious family and friends is one of my favorite celebrations in the world.
Where there is feast of friendship and celebration of conversation and sharing of ideas and dreams and hearts, the Lord is there and His life transforms.
Our homes are the arena in which we can build the life of Christ, and in which the life of our home becomes a sanctuary for those who need to feel His life by being welcomed, to receive a "cup" of cold water-- a home cooked meal, a focussed conversation, a healing touch. We celebrate the traditions of home, not because we want to be busier--no one needs that, but to make the life of Christ come alive, to show the beauty of God, to give our children an live picture of His beauty, His reality, His truth, His words and His outreaching love.
When I dreamed of how to influence and help young moms, I began to invite women from all over the world to come to my home for a weekend and to learn about how to walk with God as a mom, how to create a vibrant spiritual life, how to pass on a legacy of love.
And so, when we decided to launch Desperate, we thought, "Wouldn't it be great to share such a weekend with one of our readers?"
And so, I am so very excited to share my home, my heart, my encouragement and the truth of what God has taught me with two of you, friends who will spend a great weekend with Sarah Mae and me.
Read another story of a friend who came to my home, here at thebettermom.com. Ruth will host a book club for me at Itakejoy.com.
I can't wait to have you here. Won't you spread the word to your friends?
So thankful for all of you who are helping us spread the news to the media and world that moms are passionate about their children by supporting our launch of Desperate and getting the word out! We appreciate you so very much. We are seeing a movement amongst moms that we hope will build the next generation into lovers of God.
Today's Giveaway - $300 Target Gift Card and an iPad Mini!
Oh, isn't this fun?! Today we have a $300 GC to Target and an iPad mini up for grabs! I'm sure you know the drill by now, enter using the form below! Good "luck"!
WE ARE SO GRATEFUL TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE HELPED US PROMOTE THE BOOK!
Without your generous help and encouragement, we would never have made it to the top 100 list on Amazon and Barnes and Noble--and now already into the second printing. We are so excited to be a part of a movement of wonderful moms all over the world who are building community and support in gaining strength and hope as moms. So exciting and you are such a wonderful part of this. Thanks a gazillion!
HOW NOT TO EXPLODE: MOVING FROM DESPERATE TO CALM--REGULARLY!
I get a giggle out of this little saying, because it is so true ... "Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down."
It certainly works that way for mothers of little girls, too--and the sun being down doesn't seem to have much effect sometimes, as breaks in my sleep from asthma, ear infections, bad dreams, etc. can disturb even that!
The pressures of being a mom aren't small, and they don't only come when you are ready for them. Since we know they're coming, the trick is getting ready for them in advance! Today, I wanted to share a few things that have helped me over the years to not explode under the pressures of being a mom!
A bit of variety. Though it seems there's little chance of it happening now, when my children were young I found that if life got too stale, I would go under. So I made it a priority to create adventure for me and for my children! We would take a trip to the park or the zoo, meet with friends for a picnic, or get in the car and drive just to shake things up a bit.
A bit of quiet for me. If I am around people all the time for days and months at a time, I will indeed explode! Clay and I figured out that I could go to a coffee shop early a couple of days a week at 6 a.m. and have coffee and a quiet time and write in my journal and then come home by 7:45 a.m.--before he left for work--and I felt like a different person. I can't live without my quiet time, to think and plan and get perspective. (or my quiche and coffee!)
A bit of quiet for them ... okay, all of us. Each season was different. I had each child have a quiet hour every afternoon in the early years--I would put books and fun magazines in a basket for them and let them have a cup of something to drink--like hot cocoa, white grape juice, tea,--and then they would all have to stay in their own areas for an hour. It helped my kids to become readers and to learn to enjoy time alone, un-entertained. But it also gave me time to look forward to every day, where I could have my own cup of tea that no one else could drink and a little time to regroup or rest or make a phone call. I trained them early and gave great rewards for being able to stay in their rooms--it happened little by little but oh the rewards!
Of course, these ideas are not meant to become standards for you--you might want something different or have a whole different set of preferences to work with!
Have you picked up your copy of Desperate yet? SarahMae and I wrote this book to encourage moms to find their strength in God, to listen to their soul's cry, to understand the wonderful importance of their calling as moms and to rest in God's grace with their children each day. We're so excited about the wonderful feedback we're getting on the book and pray it will be an encouragement to thousands of moms.
Consider gathering a small group and reading it together! There are wonderful giveaways happening each day at Desperatemom.com; don't miss them!
The New Gifts for Those Who Purchase 8 or More Copies of Desperate!
Enter into a conversation with Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz) and Dr. John Townsend (Boundaries) about parenting and what the Bible has to say about raising kids. This DVD explores how God designed parenting, why it is so challenging, and ultimately the rewards that come from the process of helping kids grow up.
The Bible Made Easy! Buck Denver and his friends take your children through the WHOLE Bible. Perfect viewing for the entire family - laugh and learn together. In his first new project since VeggieTales, Phil Vischer has set out to teach kids (and parents!) the story of the Bible – God’s great rescue plan! We know the stories of Moses, Noah, David, and Jesus, but in this groundbreaking new series, we learn how they all fit together to tell one big, redemptive story. Vischer’s signature wit shines through with his all-new cast of characters, fast-paced flash animation, and catchy tunes. This is one journey through the Bible you won't want to miss!
All-Together if you purchase 8 copies of Desperate this week:
Desperate, a DVD Companion study (available in March)
Very Important if You Want to Receive Your Gifts!
In order to receive these free gifts, please email a copy of your receipt and your mailing address to desperatebook@thomasnelson.com. This “Launch Week Giveaway” is running from 12:00am EST on 1/7/2013 to 11:59EST on 1/12/2013. Your receipt must show the purchase of 5 or more copies of the book during this time period to receive your free gift. Once your receipt has been reviewed, you will be sent an email confirmation and further details on the delivery of your gift.
Open to U.S. only.
(It's less than $10 at Amazon!)
Today's Giveaway - FREE Coffee for a YEAR from Avodah Coffee!
Today my friends, you have a chance to win a years worth of coffee! Just think, freshly roasted coffee delivered to your door each month for a year. You can just smell it now, can't you? Up for grabs:
Enter our Giveaway for a weekend at the Cove in the beautiful North Carolina mountains.
Rest and Peace, Just what mama needs!
Sometimes, when we have piles of responsibility on our plate, we start to place a lot of energy, worry and fear into the issues of our lives and fret. The last thing that seems productive when life is busy is to rest. Yet, rest may very well be the most strategic thing to do if we have a busy, full and demanding life.
If we do not practice a habit of a restful life, we will end up with serious illness, exhaustion, bad attitudes and fist shaking faith aimed heavenly.
As I have said before, "Fretting leads only to evil doing."
God put Sabbath Rest into the weeks of our lives with a purpose. I have found that when I believe and engage my heart in the goodness of God's character, and put out of my mind, after praying, all that I am carrying and just seek to be still and find joy, I see the miracles bubbling up slowly, surely, as He, my Father, delights to provide.
However, a Martha heart won't see the miracles, as she is so busy living in the whirlwind of her own meek provisions, she loses all hope and becomes a wretched nag.
The more exhausted I am with life, the more tense, grumpy and tight I become and it spills all over everyone else.
Finding myself at a juncture of exhaustion from my children, out of town guests, lots and lots of adrenalin, I find that somehow when I try to figure out all of the responsibilities of the next few months, which are plenty, I know the expenditure of adrenalin will be high.
Yet, from so many times like this in the past, I have learned a secret. My Prince Jesus comes to me at just the right time, but like the story of Sleeping Beauty, the prince comes, not when she is searching the horizon, pounding her fists, running the floor, but when she is doing nothing but resting.
Resting in Him, choosing peace and putting off responsibilities and recreating is sometimes such grand medicine for my soul, that after choosing to rest and to invest in fun and love and ease of life, my strength is renewed and all issues are able to be faced with grace. I know even busier weeks are coming, but I will face them with courage if I rest today.
And so today, my plan is to go back to bed, to pace leisurely through the pathway of the next couple of days (as much as possible, of course!), to sip and really taste my coffee, to just sit and listen to my sweet family, and focus on the beauty of their light-filled eyes, to stay in comfy clothes all day, to read and pray, and then maybe to rest again, because I know that while I am resting, my Prince is already coming to my rescue.
Peace, be still, the Lord is near.
Retreat at the Cove!
Sweet Mamas--Desperate No More--Find just the encouragement you need in our new book!
And don't miss the free Bible Study we've created for small group leaders--free right here!
Linking arms with other mamas, seeking ways to support one another, sharing secrets you've learned with your own children that she might try with her own, walking together on this very long journey ... this is a key to longevity with grace! And by the way, you are not invisible, but you are very precious to God!
Sometimes, we all need to monkey around a little bit. So doesn't a spa weekend sound dreamy? Just a cup of tea in a lovely hotel lobby can help restore my soul and strengthen my heart to return to my children with more grace.
"It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
In other words, stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.
"And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17
I once read an article that suggested something to this effect: Moms don't really need a break from their children. If you don't spend every moment with your children--if you have any desire to go away and be by yourself, even just occasionally--you are selfish.
These are the kinds of statements that create voices in our heads. "Oh no, I must not love my children because I am not doing life like the others who have written these articles."
I am practically connected to the hip with my children. We are very close. Yet, I am also an introvert, and if I didn' have some time to plan, think, read, and just be away to breathe, I would become more tense. So I had to figure out how to build "me" time into my schedule so that I could fill my own heart before my children drew from it once again. I even get up early to have my own cup of tea in silence and just to sit and "be" before life starts. Others stay up late.
Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I have no wish to step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women, making them feel guilty unnecessarily. Each woman has a different personality and different needs.
A wise woman manages her life so that she can live her ideals longer.
Motherhood is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women that they should not feel guilty for taking a break once in awhile when they are in need of some breathing room! Sometimes Clay would plan leaving me alone in my home a couple of Saturdays a month so I could stay at home alone and just "be". I found that the kids loved being just with him, his spoiling of them, his input, a break from "just" mama.
We all want to be wonderful mothers and so statements like the one above come across as universal and sound wise-- but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times? Or is something else possible?"
Here's the truth I have lived and believe:
There is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind.
It says so right there in Galatians 5:1 ...
"It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."
Purposeful mothering is a beautiful thing. Moms are called to pour themselves out in servanthood and love in the context of their homes, as I shared in this video ...
He loves our intentional mothering and there is a great reward in it. Yet when it comes to the details, God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. We find ...
No lists about exactly how to discipline a child, what sin or behavior requires discipline and which one is age related immaturity, how long to discipline, a list of misbehaviors with corresponding consequences, what to expect of boys, for instance.
There is no rule book about what a mom should cook if she is really bringing health to her family.
No chapter and verse to be quoted telling us exactly what music is acceptable and what music would lead a child astray.
No single passage that describes what it really looks like to submit to every husband--since they are all different and have different preferences!
No verse that says, "There is only one time a day to have a quiet time as God is more awake in the morning."
Or, or, or ...
This is part of the reason SarahMae and I teamed up to write our new book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. There is so much in scripture about living by faith and trusting God for His direction. However, Paul and Jesus were both so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee; not putting heavy loads on people. We know that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity. Through much study and prayer I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my own heart. But there are many stories and a wide path of creativity that God blesses as we live by faith.
But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing has proven to me that it is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, because there was no such list! Rather it was a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom, seeking to reach their hearts and then living by faith and watching His grace unfold to each of us. Mostly it was about loving them and holding God's hand. God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, if I will walk with Him.
There is great freedom to live your family story within your own personality, history, and imprint, as long as we are holding His hand, reading His word and living by faith!
************************************
$25 of Coffee or Target Yumminess!
Go to your local bookstore and take a picture of you with Desperate (you should buy it while you're there ;). Post that picture to your FB page/profile and then leave a comment on Sarah Mae's post today with the link to your FB page/profile. Everyone who does this will be entered to win a $25 Gift Certificate to either Starbucks or Target (winner's choice). There will be THREE winners!
Today's Giveaway! A Year of FREE Massages!
I am a new comer to massages and oh how they have changed my life.
Ahhhh! Wish I could enter!
The details...
One year of free massages, once/month
Once a winner is randomly chosen, a gift certificate will be given to you from Massage Envy or a local spa if you don't have a Massage Envy near you.
Friendship and sharing life deeply with a kindred spirit is one of the gifts of life that God created to give us, as women, great pleasure.
Our hope is that as we launch Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe, that we will spark a movement of women who will develop deep friendships, loving understanding and sharing of ideals and support for the great task of motherhood.
We have schemed together to provide some wonderful giveaways aimed at helping moms that you will love. I hope a number of you will be so very blessed.
I remember so well what it is like to feel Desperate, as Sarah Mae felt when we decide to write this book about our story.
Desperate, a DVD Companion study (available in March)
You can purchase the book anywhere books are sold. See below for details on how to retrieve your free gifts. You do not have to lead a study to get the bonuses.
Purchase eight books this week (with the goal of leading a small group):
Exclusive Vintage Pearl necklace (only available to those who purchase Desperate)
Desperate, a DVD Companion study (available in March)
You can purchase the book anywhere books are sold. See below for details on how to retrieve your free gifts. You do not have to lead a study to get the bonuses.
Very Important if You Want to Receive Your Gifts!
In order to receive these free gifts, please email a copy of your receipt and your mailing address to desperatebook@thomasnelson.com. This “Launch Week Giveaway” is running from 12:00am EST on 1/7/2013 to 11:59EST on 1/12/2013. Your receipt must show the purchase of 5 or more copies of the book during this time period to receive your free gift. Once your receipt has been reviewed, you will be sent an email confirmation and further details on the delivery of your gift.
Open to U.S. only.
Today's Giveaway!
Every day this week we will have a giveaway for you to enter! Today's giveaway is...
A year of FREE house cleaning!!!!!
The details:
One year of free house cleaning (once/month) or 6 months of free house cleaning (twice/month) - your choice!
Once a winner is randomly chosen, a gift certificate will be given to you from a local house-cleaning service.
The place I feel the best is at home, hanging around with my peeps. I like walking in the woods or downtown with one of my friends or children. I like traveling and exploring where I am invisible but can imagine.
And of course having some kind of tea or coffee in hand, in a real mug or cup--not paper, please, makes the talking go better.
Talking and just being with my sweet, old friends, with whom I can be almost 60, slowing down, all my faults and challenges known, but still loved because of all the years we have invested in each other's lives.
Having time to ponder and reflect and evaluate life away from the hustle and bustle is a dream and is the motive behind my little trips away.
I love to be invisible.
Today, my choice is that I will invest in the quiet, as my days filled with loudness stresses my center.
May you have some quietness and rest this weekend.
Monday, our new book will be launched. Words on a page that seek to bring hope and life and love to moms. I am so excited this morning about the possibilities of friendships being made, community being forged, women feeling loved. But even for me, there is need for refueling, so that I can remember and cherish what it is all about.
It is 5:30 a.m. and I am up early sipping coffee in the lobby of a hotel near my home. Two days ago, Clay encouraged me to take a room so that I could work on messages for my conferences this year. With a house full of people all the time, food to cook, dishes to wash, conversations buzzing around, and the busyness of the holidays, I needed some time to center myself.
And yet, in the day and a half that I have been here, I have not gotten much accomplished. Even here, my sweet children have buzzed over to talk to me of life, decisions, had some tears, discussed love, jobs and people. My cell phone has buzzed incessantly with people having questions and needs for ministry, conferences, and for the launch coming on Monday. Friends still need me. Clay has tasks for me to do. And of course, I had a different child come and stay with me each night because I do not really like to be alone in a hotel and my brain is dead at night anyway.
Joy came last night. "Mom, why did you and Dad get married to each other? What gives glue to your life?" "What is the essence of your message that drives your life?"
A little heavy for 10 at night, so I felt. There are moments when my brain is just empty and a flat line. But after a few hours of sleep, I awakened this morning early and my mind was just bubbling over from pondering her question and others she posed to me. I can't wait to have breakfast with her this morning to give her an answer.
Sometimes it is as though the Holy Spirit speaks to me best in the middle of the night when there are no other distractions or duties.
The scripture started flowing:
"Rule over the earth and subdue it." Genesis 1
"The wise woman builds her house, the foolish tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matt. 7:24-27
The more I pondered my purpose, the more my excitement grew once again, to live, write and speak to what I have been designed to do.
The evening before, I had been weary to the bone with having spent myself in a thousand ways over the past months. A thousand ways people and life had required my time. Don't we all have lists of people and life issues that drain us on a daily basis?
If we are serving others and living purposefully, we will become tired because we are expending our energy generously on a regular basis. It is why God made nighttimes to sleep. And Sabbath rest to celebrate. Because He knew we needed rest and He provided for us to be refueled.
And yet, if we think we are just checking off a list of "to do's" and just completing mundane tasks that will have to be repeated again and again, we will not have the fire in our hearts to complete the job. It is just too much work. Too much giving of ourselves and expending our energy. An endless stream of things to be done and people who drain our lives. If motherhood is just about keeping a child alive, fed and dressed, then why not give them over to someone else to raise so that we can have our own lives back?
In remembering the why of our marriage, our life work, our love and commitment of family, my heart became energized once again for the multitudinous tasks.
What if this is the work that matters for history? What if our shaping souls will be our investment in the kingdom of God? And if the mothers who have babies do not take care for their children's well-being and souls, then what hope does the future have? All of this once again filled my mind.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19
"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied." 1 Corinthians 15:19
This labor of love that we diligently pursue is not about now. It is about investing in the kingdom of God, doing His work today, living our conviction that people have eternal value and that we are willing to be shepherds for their souls.
If there will be a resurrection, an accounting to God for our days and for our children--and there will; if He has entrusted us with this charge of raising our children for His glory--and He has; then we must complete our task with diligence. But we will only do so if we understand that some day, this story we are living will be told and our lives of faithfulness will be a testimony of our worship and belief in Him.
Our hope-- that is, our anchor-- is that our labor matters. Our hope is that our labor is not in vain. Our hope is that He sees us and has appointed us to steward the lives of little ones whose souls will have eternal impact.
If we connect to Him who is life, and listen to His words and admonition, and understand that we are about a work of the kingdom of God, our lives have reason for hope. We know that we are investing in eternity. We are shaping history. We are giving shelter and creating a place to teach wisdom, truth, and love in the stormy places of life.
Truth and purpose give us a reason to live this irrational life of giving, serving, exhausting ourselves for the sake of living a story.
The difference between desperate and hope is that one life lacks meaning and is just filled with endless, meaningless work. The other life has the same amount of work, but is filled with the anticipation of working hand in hand with God for an eternal result that will truly shape and protect generations. This work fills a heart with the fire to live the impossible.
But, to be able to complete this great work, we need friends, people who care about our weariness and love us, women to live life with,
women who care enough to show us how and to pick us up when we fall.
DESPERATE: HOPE FOR THE MOM WHO NEEDS TO BREATHE--
COMING MONDAY, JANUARY 7--DON'T MISS OUT!
P.S. SarahMae and I are hosting a Twitter party that night at 9pm! Don't miss it--you can follow us @Sally_Clarkson and @SarahMae!
Sarah's room, filled with mystery and treasure and beauty.
How encouraged I have been to see your many wonderful comments and blessed to see how many of you shared the video yesterday. I hope we can make more that will encourage you as a mom.
The video shared the ideals of motherhood and the beauty of our children. And yet, there are so many, many days when there are messes everywhere; deep weariness abounds; we would like to escape and feel guilty for it; and then become angry one more time when we promised ourselves we would be patient. At 59, I think, maybe when I am 60, I will become patient and loving all the time! So we exist to please the Lord and to inspire our children and then fall short of the very ideals we hope to attain.
Yet, I am convinced that Jesus is so very patient with us and wants us to lighten up a little. Even my own children have been the very source of His gentle love towards me. I thought I would share this little story with you, about a time in January several years ago, when God stopped me in my tracks and gave me perspective again. I pray you weary mamas will be refreshed soon and I wish all of you all a full time housekeeper!
My shoulders and neck were already aching from tension, as I felt the overwhelming burden pressing on my mind of all that it would take to get my home back in order, and of all the tasks that were looming large around me. Not to mention, I was so exhausted from all of the Christmas fun that I felt like I needed a one-woman vacation and about 15 hours of sleep just to begin to feel better.
Washing my piles of clothes and towels began the long list of chores, and I could already tell my mood was dangerously close to a spewing rage. When the soap had been measured into the washer, I grabbed a pile of clean shirts and ran upstairs in a huff to Sarah’s bedroom to find out when she was leaving for work and why it took so incredibly long for her to remember to get her laundry off the top of the dryer. I knocked on her door loudly, still catching my breath. Her muffled voice from the other side of the door calmly bade me enter, and I did so in a great hurry, feeling a need to keep up my momentum. But as I stumbled in, the sight of her stopped me dead in my tracks. I just stood there and, for an instant, was quiet.
As the first child, Sarah had borne almost as many burdens of the holidays as I. She had washed piles of dishes and helped me beyond what could reasonably be expected. So she must also be overwhelmed. Amid my own hurry and bustle to get the day started I had quite forgotten to spend any time in quiet. Surely with the holidays we’d had enough times to sit and be in beauty.
But apparently, Sarah didn’t think so. She was beginning her January in quite a different way, and I was magnetically drawn into her world. She sat in her maroon chair, regarding me quite serenely with a book in one hand and a pen in the other. Haunting piano music was playing through the room (I found out later that it was the soundtrack to the new Pride and Prejudice movie) and three tiny vanilla candles flickered in different spots around the room.
The unhurried beauty of the room was strongly present all around me, evidence of Sarah’s determination to make room for loveliness and serenity in her days, since all of us were weary to the bone from busyness, illness, too many people and too much activity. She had matted small prints and postcards from our trips and arranged them along her walls and in lines above the shelves that held her numerous and much-beloved books. A barely wilting Christmas rose stood in a tiny crystal vase on her windowsill, and there were pine branches still fragrant in a basket by the door.
A basket of cards and writing paper with her favorite pen sat next to her rolltop desk, guarded by the brightly painted eyes of her Matryoshka dolls. I noticed a new picture on her shelf too; a brightly sketched pair of birds, done by an artist she had just discovered in Canada. There was color, symmetry, and music, and everywhere I looked I was confronted with the richness of a soul made visible in the world it created--quite determined to enjoy this moment despite the rush. I felt stopped in my tracks by the sudden presence of this choice to begin the busy day in an instant of soul-beauty instead of frenzied worry and hurry. I felt I was somehow catching my mental breath.
“Hi, Mom,” she said, raising her eyebrows in a can-I-help-you sort of look. I waited a minute before replying, letting my pulse (if she only knew) return to normal. “Here’s your laundry,” I said slowly when my breath came back. In the presence of her room I didn’t even remind her that it had been sitting on the dryer for two weeks. Nor did I notice the lumpy pile of new laundry, expertly concealed with a blanket next to her closet. I simply smiled and took the paper she handed me as I walked out of the room.
I had thought the note she handed me was some sort of information, but as I glanced down, I saw that it was a card for me, written just that morning. Dropping into my desk chair, I opened it and read:
Sweet Mom,
Just thought I’d tell you that I’m praying for you as you go back to routine life. I just know that God is going to bless you soon. You are so faithful and have such an enduring heart (I’ve been reading Revelation and one of the big themes I’ve caught is endurance), and God is going to bring greatness and beauty out of your perseverance. God will redeem all of us kids because of you. He’ll bless you with the fulfillment of your dreams, and He will make my way and all of our ways straight before us. He will do something new!
So don’t be discouraged as you sit and pound away at your book, grocery shop, and tame all the messes. Great things are going to happen and I love you so much - and that’s got to count for something.
So blessings and love and peace of Christ be with you.
Your Sarah
In that moment I felt as if I had been given a gift through my daughter. It was as if in the rush of my day, God had put it on her heart to stop me in my tracks and call me back to a spirit of calm and beauty. Sarah embodied for me what my soul held so dear - a life reflecting the beautiful reality, goodness, and love of God because of her filled soul.
Sitting in my chair and catching my breath, I realized that my sudden rush of feeling overwhelmed, I had completely lost sight of what mattered. Yes, the house needed to be cleaned and presents delivered to their various new spots and food needed to be bought for the cupboard. Yet, in the moment, I realized that I needed to take time, over a period of days to get it all back together.
Staying centered and opening my eyes to the needs of my children was now entering the priority list I was mentally making. All the work I did was so that our home would be a haven, a place rich with life and warm with thought, love, and beauty. My spirit that morning, though, was one of frenzied worry and irritated anxiety that cared only that things get done, not that people be loved or life enjoyed.
Glancing up as I thought this, my eyes caught a glimpse of Sarah’s present to me that year. For Christmas she had given me a hand-drawn scene of an old country home by a pinewood, bathed in the light of a brightly setting sun. In the sunset sky, she had inscribed my favorite verses of the year (Psalm 16:5-6) in carefully formed calligraphy:
The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup.
You support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places,
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
Beautiful to me…Sarah represented a physical reality of the philosophy that the Lord wants me to continue to embrace. The Lord’s presence in my life is beautiful, and I want my spirit to be one that accepts it in thanks and appreciation - even on January Monday mornings.
…Instead of hurrying back downstairs, I took a deep breath and walked away slowly, planning what I would do next. I consciously made a decision to brush away my previous mental list of important things to accomplish and replaced it with the high priority of focusing my efforts on how to communicate love in the hours left in my day, especially to my youngest who had been dragged and pulled a lot during the holidays. Often she was the one who had to stretch to match her older siblings' activities.
I put on the kettle to make Joy a cup of vanilla-almond tea. I lit every candle I could find in my little living room and turned on my favorite Celtic CD. I lit the gas fireplace so that we could have a glowing fire and made a piece of cinnamon toast to accompany my little girl’s tea. Then I called her in and invited her to snuggle up next to me on our cozy, overstuffed couch. I kissed her sweet head and told her how glad I was to have time alone with her. We finished reading together the end of the book, Heidi, cloaked in our own spell of beauty and intimacy…
…At the end of our time and to my great surprise, she suddenly turned her eyes to me very tenderly and said, “You know, Mom, I would rather have time alone with you, than even my Christmas presents and parties. I missed you when we were so busy. I just love it when we spend time alone. It makes me feel so special.”
God had used Sarah to gently remind me that, after all, I had another sweet girl just waiting for me to help her become another princess for His glory. And shaping her soul should not require hurry or bustle or modeled irritation at the busyness of the world. It required love, and love expressed tangibly through time, words, and lots of beauty Love, it seemed, truly was the greatest gift after all.”
Once again, my lovely daughter Sarah will be sharing with us at the MomHeart conferences. I know it will be a treat, as she is one who takes time to fill her life and soul with beauty, and then share what she's learned with us! I wanted to share a story from my book, The Mom Walk to give you a bit of a glimpse into my sweet girl's heart, and perhaps a taste of what you might hear at a conference. We teach freedom, grace, love and joy in the journey and have lots of foundational encouragement for your precious moms, even amidst the many duties of life. I am praying for rest and beauty for each of your souls. Have a wonderful day!
Want to win a spa/mentoring weekend with me and 
Want to win a spa/mentoring weekend with me and Sarah Mae?
Want to win a spa/mentoring weekend with me and Sarah Mae?
