A Happy Home in a Hard World, Rhythms that Bring Life & A New Podcast

From the heart of Sarah...

The childhood image is clear in my mind to this day, and one I encounter afresh each time I visit home. In the new, blue light of morning, candles lit nearby, music playing softly, my mother is curled in the corner of the comfy couch in the living room. Her Bible is open in her lap, and a cup of tea (or coffee) is in her hand. She looks up at the sound of my footsteps, “good morning,” she smiles, and I come to curl up next to her on the couch. When I was a child, I’d look over her shoulder at the passage she was reading, and beg a sip of her coffee (which is where I gained my taste both for Scripture and good hot drinks!). Now, Bible in hand, I join her, continuing the devotional rhythm she helped me to create from my littlest days.

Quiet time. It is a rhythm, a heartbeat to life that I learned at my mother’s knee. But its only one of many I learned at her hands, set points within my days throughout childhood that steadied and calmed our lives and gave shape to our hours. When I think back over my childhood, the things I remember most are often the things we did daily, the rhythm or routines or rituals by which we structured our time, learned to progress, and kept calm.

The idea of creating a schedule may seem daunting at times. But I like to think of schedule as rhythm, a structured beat so that the music of creativity and relationship can flourish within the boundaries of order and rest. Rhythms give structure to the spaces and hours of home, showing the people who dwell there clearly when there is time to work, relate, rest, or create. They provide regular times for the most necessary things in life so that there is a sense of rootedness for those within the home. Rhythms give shape and form, work and rest to the world of home just as the seasons bring rhythm to the earth. They provide us with patterns by which we remember that 'to everything there is a time and season.'

My parents began our rhythms early. Quiet times were first, for sure. But breakfast together soon followed. Then chores. We had an hour of reading or quiet every afternoon. We had a 5 o’clock quick clean up hour so that our evening would be spent in (generally) neat atmospheres. We always ate dinner together. Tucking us snuggling into our warm beds with a blessing, a kiss and a prayer was another constant daily in our home. We had the rhythms of routine, but also of relationship.

One of the most formative times for my sister, Joy, were the bedtime talks she had with my mom. Without fail, my mom tucked her in and sat for awhile to hear about her day, to talk about her joys or fears. They laughed and cried, and those moments for Joy were her own sacred time, a time she could expect without fail. I had a similar experience with morning walks. Being pals with my mom throughout my early teens, I’d join her for dawn strolls  through mountains and country roads during which we had daily times of talking, sharing, crying, loving.

On a larger scale, we had weekly family film and pizza nights, teatimes on Sundays, discipleship times on our own with a parent - times we could count on to recur however busy the rest of the week. Whether chores, walks, or good talks with tea, the daily, set rhythm of our lives formed a structure by which we were able to live well. Having the foundation in place, the set points, the expectations, we were then able to move with greater confidence throughout our hours and days, however hectic, because we had rhythm to which we could always return. A heartbeat to our home that allowed us to sing.

Happiness in your home must first flow from your heart.

Read more about establishing rhythms in your home, and how to cultivate happiness in your own heart in The Life-giving Home Book

The LifeGiving Home {Chapters 3 & 4}

I hope you all have enjoyed soaking in the first handful of chapters. They really lay the foundation of why we should create a lifegiving home for our families. Today we are going to dig into chapters 3 & 4. Here we will see how grace and the very Incarnation of Jesus can be woven throughout our homes, our attitudes, and our service to our families, creating an atmosphere which sings of His grace.

A Symphony of Grace {Chapter 3}

We can choose to be the conductors of our own homes...taking the lead by establishing the atmosphere through serving.

Every home is going to be different in this respect. Sally shares her particular symphony and I just love how she has laid out the priorities for her own home inside chapter 3.

Welcome

"Adopting the attitude that every arrival at my door is a divine appointment for me to care for others, to understand and listen to them and to serve them a cup of cold water in Jesus' name, changes the way I see both my home and those who come in it."

Safety

"Having a place where we can shut the door to the rest of the world--where we can be ourselves, wail together, make mistakes, and live through seasons of growth--has been a grace to us. The closed door allows us to work on our inadequacies, our limitations, our personal struggles without the eyes of the public viewing our personal lives."

Knowledge and Wisdom

"Every table in our house has a place underneath where magazines and books are piled for the reaching. Baskets of books sit at the end of couches for grabbing spare moments. Literally thousands of books, magazines, audiobooks, devotional writings, and biographies, collected little by little, are scattered throughout every room in our house. Each one has been chosen as a source of inspiration and mind-filling strength."

Beauty

"Beauty is more than just pictures on a wall. It is also about colors that bring pleasure, smooth and nubby textures that reward the touch, the wafting fragrance of food in the oven that keeps us sniffing appreciatively, the comfort or excitement of music on the stereo. Beauty is found in the way we light the rooms, the books we open again and again, the way we arrange furniture and set the table."

Relationship

"Relationships are the core focus of celebrating life together in a place. The desire to create spaces for friendship, companionship, and fellowship influenced many of our home choices--even the furniture we bought, where we placed it, and how we used it. Grouping comfy couches and overstuffed chairs in front of the fireplace--not the television--is another relationship-based choice."

Nourishment

"Eating is not just about filling our bellies--or at least it wasn't meant to be. There is something about preparing food and sharing it that enhances relationship, builds community, even fosters spiritual connection. I believe every meal should be a celebration of life itself as we break bread and enter fellowship together."

Rest

"Bedrooms are not just for sleeping! Ideally bedrooms should be special places where each family member can pull away from all the stress, escape the demands, and rest, cry, journal, and dream away from the eyes of others. Bedrooms give sanctuary to souls and should be outfitted accordingly."

Which one of these stands out most to you to implement...or is there an element not listed here you'd like to add?

In my home, an important piece of "music" that adds life is to have a wide variety of high quality books and a ready source of good quality art supplies. Many of my children love to read and all love to create, color, paint, draw, craft in some way.

The Rhythms of Incarnation {Chapter 4}

Up until I read this chapter by Sarah, I never really thought of my home in the way she explains. I nodded in agreement as I read her explanation of Facebook being a distraction and her experiment to deactivate Facebook for 2 months makes me want to do the same (which isn't really possible for me since much of my work is done there!).

But, her idea to not check anything internet related before breakfast, now, that I could do -- and really, I should do. My first impulse is always to grab my phone or hop on the computer first thing to start my day and to be fairly honest...I don't love doing that. I would rather begin my mornings quietly or at the very least, presently, at home.

I love what she says here,

"As the days continued, the quiet grew. That one departure from Facebook empowered me to resist the Internet in general, and a hush grew daily within me as I rooted my consciousness once more in the world of touch, sight, sound, and breath. I found myself newly aware of the rhythms of light and dark. I felt a hush that beckoned me to look out my window and learn again the different moods of the pines in the dawn and the dark and the half light."

That sounds so incredibly lovely to me. As a mother with a house full of children (and 3 dogs), quiet is in short supply. But, subconsciously I add to the "noise" by starting (and often ending) my day on Facebook, or the Internet in general. It's no wonder I struggle to find peace in my own soul!

When I constantly feed myself from Facebook, I listen to all-the-voices. Consequently, I find it harder to hear God's voice.

She goes on to say,

"If we want to embody the life of God in our homes, we need to understand what God intended human life to be, and we also need to be aware of what distracts us from that intention or diminishes it in our lives."

And one last thing that really wraps up her heart (though the entire chapter is excellent):

"While there are certainly benefits to the world of technology, and while social media has in many ways increased connectedness, there are also profound ways in which the overuse of virtual reality and technological media is causing us to become mentally and emotionally absent from the present world of incarnational action."

I love working on the Internet -- I have for years! But there is always a downside to too much of anything and too much technology can throw us into information overload as well as giving us a constant expectation of instant gratification. We no longer know how to slow down because we've become accustomed to getting what we want and getting it now. 

So, my take away is that I am going to stop checking my phone or the Internet first thing in the morning. I want to breathe in the stillness as much as possible before the demands of all-the-things take me over.

What about you? In what way can you quiet your soul and return to being present with the people in your home?

Christin Slade

Life is just messy! Do you ever feel conflict within and without?

“Where there's hope, there's life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again.” Anne Frank

"In this world, you have tribulation, but take courage." Jesus

"Mama, I hope the world will always be a happy place 'cause it makes me feel sad when people cry."

I still remember the serious face of my sweet girl when she said this.

How I wish I could give all of my children a world where people were fair, life was easy, and no one If there is one thing I do not like,  it is conflict. Because I am a strong feeler on Myers-Briggs, I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to have harmony and to get along. I long for harmony in my life.

This world where we live is a battleground. . The ground is cursed and produces thorns and thistles when we work, and really it means, everything tends towards disorder, (second law of thermo-dynamics).

So it is in the spiritual-emotional realm, as well. Relationships are a challenge, as all the people I have ever met are sinners and fragile and make mistakes.

Children are born self-centered and self-absorbed, and so training them to become unselfish, and to have a servant heart, will cost us years of our lives. we have to go against their very nature, to help them to become mature.

And then there is my sinful self--we won't talk about how many regrets I have for all the ways I have been petty or selfish over the years.

Marriages feel the ravages of this battle, because of brokenness, baggage and scars that all of us bear,  sometimes come into the union at its beginning, or develops along the way.

Seems there is conflict everywhere--in my family, with my children's friends, in church, with my friends and co-workers, in marriage. You name it--it is just lurking somewhere around the corner.

And if there is anything that makes me want to quit ministry, it is conflict or misunderstanding.

At 62, I feel like a seasoned pioneer on this challenging journey of life. I have lived through tragedies, illnesses, losses, church splits, deep disappointment with those who called themselves believers and then lived hypocritical behavior with no conscience.

At times, I have felt like David, and asked God why the righteous suffer and the unrighteous prosper?

Perhaps we all feel the darkness and fallenness of this world deeply in our lives and circumstances.

Yet, it is the times of conflict, difficulty, stress, in which He has worked most in my soul. It is in falling or being accused unjustly, that I knew more about the need to give people the grace I would have wanted.

It is in being unjustly accused, that I became more humble and needy of Him and learned to depend on His love.

It is in struggling through the conflict that has evolved over years in our family circle, that I learned to have compassion on other women who have struggled with their own backgrounds. It is in bearing with my children and serving them, that God has taught me how deeply He loves me that He would bear with me and love me and serve me, in spite of myself, because I am His child.

And so, I am learning and have learned, that it is at these very points of stress, where our character is  formed. It is also where our character is revealed.

As Joy put up on twitter today,

"Women (People) are like tea bags. You never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water." - E. Roosevelt

When a person is in conflict and their soul is tested, what comes out is what they are in their hearts.

I have had to look into my own heart lately to see what I am made of. And so, Jesus has become my contemplation more and more as I become older.

"While being reviled, he did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God, who judges righteously." I Peter 2:23

The older I become, the more I fall in love with Jesus. He could have screamed and yelled and become frustrated and accused, so many, many times. He has every right to be frustrated with me, with you, with my enemies--I say I want to follow Him and then I do something petty.

And yet, He offers love, over and over again--"Father, I desire that they know the love I have known from the very beginning."

He is gentle, He is patient, He loves abundantly and generously, even though none of us deserves it.

Even though conflict makes me want to avoid life, God calls me to run through it.

And so, running away is not an option. It is challenge and difficulty where unconditional love is most miraculous. Bringing love and gentleness and courage into darkness heals, relieves, brings light and points others to Him.

And so, running away is not an option.

If I want Him to make my soul into the likeness of Jesus, I must strive, work, seek to attain His gentle ways, His sacrificial love, His peace-making heart.

God is the carving  His reflection and likeness onto my soul. And so, more and more, I humbly seek Him, pray to Him, ask Him to help me be filled with His spirit, so that I may not offend Him, but may, out of great gratitude become, every year, more and more of a great lover.

So, today, if you really love Him,

you may not run away,

I may not run away!

Nobility of His Holy Spirit will spur us on to love, peacemaking, and graciousness, even when we do not feel like giving love back.

Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for a friend.

Cultivating Wonder in the Heart of A Child & Mama

One of my favorite memories from childhood regards a day of unexpected adventure. We had come to the end of a busy Christmas. School was just back in swing. And our day off was supposed to be spent cleaning up the remainders of the holiday mess. I must have been about twelve, old enough to know how much cleaning had to be done and dread it, old enough to feel a sort of dull-eyed boredom with the ordinary around me. I missed the color of Christmas. I dreaded the blank, grey days of school and work and January sanity ahead.

Imagine, then, my surprise, when my mom, after a glance at the doleful faces my siblings and I lifted, gave a long sigh.  “All right. Change of plans. Let’s go exploring,” she said. I think we stood there for a moment, startled. But she shooed us off to gather hiking shoes and backpacks with sketch books while she packed a picnic. It was a strangely mild day, and within a few minutes, we had piled in the car and were off on an adventure. We listened to music and sang at the top of our lungs as my mom drove up into the mountains. We ate a picnic by a stream. We dared the freezing water and gathered a bunch of river-smooth stones. When we got home, we lit a fire, made hot cocoa, and piled on the couches to read aloud. I remember curling in next to my mom, feeling such contentment with the world, with our home, and such a sense of hope and interest in the coming days, something renewed from my boredom of the morning.

I’ve thought often of my mom’s impromptu adventure with us that day, because it is something I have learned to repeat in my own adult life. I have realized that when weeks of intense, demanding work or busyness go by without rest or space, my mind becomes exhausted, my capacity for joy lessens, and with it my sense of gratitude for the life I have been given.

There is an art to the cultivation of wonder. There is a rhythm that must be struck if you are going to keep your spirit fully alive to the music that life, when artfully lived, may be. The music wells up amidst moments carefully claimed, moments wrestled free of distraction from all that must be done and bought and given. But wonder, hush, those signposts of a heart welling up with the holy, come rarely amidst the frenzy of modern life.  We live, most of us, at a hectic pace. We live at the pace of Internet and freeways, we move at the pace of other people’s countless needs, at the speed necessary to provide - money, food, care - for ourselves and others. In the unresting, unrelenting forward motion of adult life, nourishment of the soul seems more about getting a meal on time than a moment of transcendence.

But one of the things I always return to if I take the time to think about it in the opening of the year, is the fundamental need to live in wonder. To choose a state of mind not hectic, not constantly harried, but one steeped in a chosen simplicity, something almost childlike in its innocent awareness of the beauty present and possible in the ordinary, particularly in the spaces of home.

When I become aware of a dull, bitter spirit in myself, I take a day away…at home. I ‘go adventuring’ within the realm of my own walls, setting my home to order and taking the time to savor the ordinary wonders of life again. I get a stack of books and take some time to read. I cook a good meal. I spend some time just listening - to music, in prayer, or even just in silence. I take a walk. I light a candle. And every one of these simple actions helps me to return to a place where my attention isn’t scattered and strained, but focused. On the one beauty, the one person, the one grace before me. And suddenly, the world doesn’t seem as grey and hectic. Rather, in the confines of my ordinary life, in the space of my home, hope grows afresh and possibility rises in my heart because wonder has returned to my eyes.

A rich day at home with good books, good food, quiet, rest - small, ordinary gifts these. To some, they may even seem frivolous. But I am convinced, no, more like convicted, that to claim a few still spaces in which beauty is found and silence kept, is to open the door to God. The discipline, yes, I think you can call it that, of beauty, is an antidote to distraction. It battles the frenzy of our modern self-importance that keeps God, and the humility he desires in us, away.

Child-heartedness, innocence, simplicity, these are conditions of holiness, that fundamental health to which the soul must ever aspire. Wonder doesn’t mean a separation from care and sin, it means a chosen state of faith. A willed decision toward purity of heart. A state in which expectation is the operative consciousness, in which hope is native to each decision, in which thanks, sometimes simply by way of revelry in what is to be found amidst the ordinary, is the ground of discovery, education, and creativity. It is, I think, a state of grace, that fundamental orientation of self required by belief in a Father God. For to him, we are all, eternally, children. The world is his ceaseless gift, and the wonder with which we meet it in the very core spaces of self and home becomes our thanks… and our joy as well.

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Whew! Launch week is over and our second of 4 conferences has come to an end. What an amazing time with women from all over the US. Now, I am resting up in warm California with a friend before heading into 2 more conferences. Sure loved being with you all. So fun for Sarah sharing a memory from our home today, a part of our story. So happy so many of you are loving the Lifegiving Home.

You can find it HERE.

The LifeGiving Home {Chapters 1 & 2}

Welcome to the LifeGiving Home Book Club!!! I am so excited to journey with you through this amazing book. Just a quick intro: My name is Christin Slade, and Sally and I met several years ago at the Allume Conference.

It has been such a gift to read and implement her gospel-centered message inside my home and my hope is to encourage you continue to as well. As we read and study The LifeGiving Home in community, we want to offer up encouragement and ideas for one another to put into practice within our own homes.

Within this next week we are reading through (or have read through) chapters 1 and 2.

A LifeGiving Legacy {Chapter 1}

In this chapter, Sally invites us to dream up what we want our home to be for those living within it's walls. If we could take a few moments to imagine what we want out of our homes, for ourselves, and our families, we can begin to paint a picture of a home which leaves behind a life-giving legacy.

Maybe dreaming it up is the easy part...but how can we implement that dream to make it a reality? That's what this book is going to help us do. But for now, let's dream.

Let's dream of mornings that have a rhythm. Afternoons full of adventure. Evenings spent close to family in conversation or lost in a great book together.

With today's fast-paced, technology saturated culture, creating a home which pours life into others is more challenging than ever before. But it's not impossible.

Sally says at the end of the chapter,

"Building well is a long process. None of us will ever be perfectly wise or mature or loving. Creating a lifegiving home, then, is a long process taken one step, one season at a time. In the process, I've found, the home itself becomes wiser and more valuable."

Please don't attempt to do everything listed in this book (or the LifeGiving Experience book). The idea isn't to burn anyone out, but to offer a buffet of variety and even spark your own ideas by sharing their own experiences. One or two ideas per month are plenty! Start small.

Made for Home {Chapter 2}

We long to be deeply known and, in the knowing, held. -Sarah Clarkson

Sarah paints such a beautiful picture in this chapter about the potential our homes have and how they can draw people in, family and friends alike--and even strangers. Our homes can be a tangible place for the gospel to come alive.

I used to believe that our homes and "making" our homes was not "spiritual", but I have learned so much about how pouring into our spaces and those who dwell within it is very much spiritual! To love is spiritual and by serving others through nurture and hospitality, we bring the embodiment of Jesus into our homes and into the lives of those we serve.

Sarah states so beautifully,

"His Kingdom comes in the way we celebrate, the shelter we make of our homes, the joy we put into what we cook and eat and create, our willingness to welcome strangers into our midst." 

I'll be honest and tell you, cooking is not my favorite thing to do. I used to love it, but I've allowed it to become more of a burden to me than allowing it to be a blessing to my family. But there is something about food that brings people together...especially if you offer a little variety for multiple different palettes.

Admittedly, I love hearing, "Mommy, this is the best dinner ever!" from my children. But equally as much, I dislike hearing complaints about a food someone doesn't like or want. And with seven children, it happens almost every night.

These are some of the humps we need to overcome or roll with in order to keep our home in a state of giving life rather than breeding discontent. That's all part of building a lifegiving home.

We can make our home a place of restoration and a safe place to always return to. A place to look forward to, even after times of wanting to be away. It's always nice to come again.

Have you been held back, like I was, from making your home a lifegiving place? What can you let go of today in order to begin breathing that life into your home?

Next week we will be discussing chapters 3 & 4. I can't wait!! See you then!

Christin Slade

Home: Refuge and Comfort for Dark Times

It's been an exciting and busy week and now I'm off to California to spend a wonderful weekend with more of you at our next MomHeart conference!  Excited to be with you, and I'm so glad to have Sarah sharing here with us today, about the power of home in dark times.

On a rain-darkened morning in Oxford last November, I woke to news of the Paris shootings. I remember sitting in my bed unmoving, sensing the chill, stark hardness of the world. A few days later, news reached me of a shooting in my hometown in Colorado. In the intervening days, friends and family alike received hard news or dealt with broken relationships or just struggled with a sense of despair themselves. At the end of the week, on a Friday afternoon, I sat in my room with such a sense of sadness, I barely wanted to turn on my light as the day drew down to the evening (it doesn’t help that dusk falls at 4pm in England). I was far from family, grieving the darkness of the world, and in that moment, unsure of how to answer it.

But as I sat in the shadow, one of my roommates crept in and curled up next to me on the sofa. We sat for a few moments in silence as she kindly rubbed my sore shoulders. But then, ‘I think we need a good, homey girl’s night’ she declared, ‘’cause its been a hard week’. Her words prodded me out of my dim, tangled thoughts. “Good food, candles, talk, and chocolate,” she added, as if listing the ingredients to remedy sickness of soul. I couldn’t help but smile at the way her eyes were alight even in that gloom. I nodded, and without a word, we stood and tromped down to the kitchen to gather all the necessary accoutrement of a successful, delicious, and soul-girding girl’s night.

We live in a tiny little cottage blessed with an excellent kitchen (but no sitting room). Over our first few months together, we’d cobbled together a few chairs, a rug, and a tiny table to make a sitting room in the bay window of our kitchen. We’d each contributed a few lovely finds from charity shops - posters, teapots, a sturdy wooden tray, a bright ceramic trivet - so that our student house had come slowly to feel like home, a place we three, all students, all working, could return to for shelter at the end of exhausting days. That night, though, we experienced our little cottage, crafted by friendship and love, as a place where the light of hope could be kindled right in the face of a dark and frightening outer world.

By the time our other flat mate walked in the door, we’d roasted chicken, made salad, and curled up again on my sofa to watch a movie. We lit every candle we could find, we cooked with music in the background, and rummaged through our cupboards to combine our chocolate stores. In the hours that followed, we did indeed watch that girl’s movie, but we also talked. We each spoke openly about the fears that plagued us in these difficult days, about the loneliness we felt at living far from family. And we prayed - all three of us on my little sofa in our creaky old cottage with our mismatched dishes on the antique table.

I looked around me in the quiet minute after, and knew such a sense of peace in that moment - in the circle of the candlelight, with the remnants of our feast, and two friends with courageous hearts standing beside me. I began, in that moment, to feel that I could hope once more.

That evening is a picture to me of the hope that home can offer when those who dwell in it choose to draw back into it as a refuge and shelter, filling its rooms with light, life, and love. That we live in a dark, hard world is something you only have to glance at the news headlines to see, or simply remember your own grief to know. Discouragement, doubt, and fear stalk us every day. When war looms on the horizon or tragedies occur, our sense of frailty and fear can double. What answer can we give to such destruction? How can we possibly combat the vast grief of the world in our own, small lives?

By making a feast. By drawing together with friends to laugh. By lighting a candle. No, truly. These tiny acts of homemaking and fellowship are the kindled stars that come alight in the darkness and defy the night. Our answer to the great death and ugliness rampaging through the world can be a series of continually redemptive, bold choices to live in such a way that we proclaim the worth of each person we encounter, the beauty of the world we have been given. In this way, we embody a reality opposite to the hopelessness the darkness would have us believe is the only reality.

And home is the realm in which we make redemption known. Home is the kingdom in which we have the daily choice and power to make our tiny domain one of light or darkness. In the rooms (however few or tiny) we call home, peace can, for a little while, come to earth as we partner with Christ to fill the spaces between our walls with his burgeoning, redemptive life. It’s often an act of defiance, one we make in spite of discouragement and grief. But it’s also an act of redemption - taking the broken stuff of the world, and with Christ’s help, forming it into a shelter for love. A shelter called home.

To find Sarah and Sally's newest books from your favorite bookseller, click here!

Woohoo! An amazing Launch Webcast Party! Thank you for Coming!

Almost 3000 households gathered around to join me in my Webcast to celebrate the end of my launch week for The Lifegiving Home: Creating a place of belonging and becoming.  What an amazing week with friends from all over the world joining me in spreading the word and gathering excitement about my newest book, which is literally a lifetime in the making--the story of my own lifegiving home, 17 moves, 4 kids now grown to adulthood and so much to tell.

I wanted to share the webcast with so many of you who were not able to make it. I am off to California early Wednesday morning to arrange our California Mom Heart Conference.

A million thanks to all of you who attended and made it a great evening. Blessings and blessings of grace to you this week.

Love to all.

Sally

You can also find me today at Ann Voskamp's blog:

Don't miss the sunsets, don't miss the wonder in your children's eyes.

“No moment is useless, no day void, when shaped by the creative power of love.”

guest post by Sally Clarkson

As I glanced out the kitchen window, the shadows that were overtaking the mountain told me that the sun was just about to set.

Clay, my husband, had proposed a rare and much-needed dinner date for just the two of us.

Lots of issues in our life needed our focused attention—ministry conferences, book deadlines, taxes, a possible move, new staff for our ministry, a health problem with one of our children, a relationship problem at church—plus, we just needed some time together alone to be friends.

It was ten minutes before six, the time Clay had told me to be ready. I was still in the kitchen washing dishes, trying to get the kitchen clean before we left.

Eleven-year-old Nathan, my bubbling, energetic extrovert, kept running into the kitchen demanding that I come immediately to look at something.

“Mama, I have something to show you! It will take just a few minutes, but you have to come now.”

“Not now,” I almost told him. “I promise I’ll spend some time with you when I get home, but I have to finish the dishes now before Daddy takes me out to dinner. This way you kids won’t have to clean anything up!”

I almost said that, but I didn’t. After a brief mental battle, I put the greasy pan back in the sudsy water and dried my hands.

“Nathan, where are you?” I called. “I’m ready to see your surprise.”

“I didn’t think you were ever going to come,” he moaned as he appeared from the den. “I hope we’re not too late.”

For the rest of the story, go to A Holy Experience. So very honored by the generous words of my sweet friend, Ann Voskamp.

Here's the books and music that we were all buzzing about! :)

You were all so much fun and such a gift. Happy Wednesday.

Find them HERE

Creating the Art of Life in Your Home And Woohoo! The Webcast Tonight!

A few years ago, we were  visiting a family and everything in the home--I should say, estate, was perfect. A garden without weeds, a home in perfect order, a meal with no mess as all pots and pans had been washed and all put away. Yet, something about the environment seemed sterile and stiff to Clay and me and to our children. We did feel that the children were quite stiff and formal, and seemed  afraid to move out of the context of "reserved politeness."  The atmosphere seemed sterile, and there was something uncomfortable to all of us--like a mysterious air of performance and judgment. The mom repeated three times, "I am so exhausted, all the time."

A strange atmosphere of stress and strain permeated the air we breathed, even in the midst of perfect order,  and we talked about it as we left in the car because it was all so right and yet felt so wrong--the atmosphere of strain almost palpable. In some ways it felt like a cardboard, colorless home.

There seemed to be form without art or life.

I am not condemning order, how I love it! Or high ideals! I am guilty of high ideals.

But if the ideals of our home consist of performance and not heart, all will be lost.

And that is what it felt like to all of us while we were there. And frankly, we all felt a subtle pressure to perform and not say the wrong thing! All the eyes of those around us seemed to dare us to step out of line and feel the consequences.

Our God, the artist who created our world with color, pleasure, surprises, variety, did not give us a home on this earth that was sterile and void of form. As the source of all pleasure and beauty, God would have us imitate the life he gave us to enjoy as we construct the atmosphere of our own homes.

As we rule over the moments in our home, God's pleasure would support our creation of joy in the atmosphere. He would say, "Woohoo! You sat with your child and watched me paint a sunset! You were patient with that spilled milk and fuss one more time--you listened to that weepy teen and didn't even  correct him, even though you were exhausted! You are my precious one and I love  that you are doing your best. I love you. I am with you, I am proud of you for keeping going!"

A home is a place of life filled by a mother whose life is contagious because of her sparkle in the midst of messes, her laughter in the midst of duty, her song pervading the whole place--the music, feasts, art, joy of life--flowing out of a heart that has found this joy in her God.

Tonight, we will celebrate my new book, The Lifegiving Home and discuss traditions and ways to cultivate a place of welcome, a place of comfort and inspiration. 

 We had such a great time with our launch week that we're going to continue with the party today *and* of course, tonight--have you registered for the big official Online Launch Party? If not, don't miss the fun!  Go to this link, or click the button on the sidebar to register to attend--and join the list to win some of the wonderful giveaways we've been saving just for the celebration! Launch Party Registration!

(Registration for the webcast will end at3:00 MSTime)

Today's giveaways are ...

#1. One Art Print from Red Letter Words!

The winner can choose any 11x14 or 12x12 print she likes from RedLetterWords! (U.S. shipping only)

#2. Body goodies from Beauty Counter!

Stephanie Peter is offering these Beauty Counter products just for you! A wonderfully hydrating body lotion and peppermint lip conditioner will help you get through February's drying cold.  Find more natural body goodies at her Beauty Counter site.

#3. Crystal Sutherland painting!

This is an original acrylic painting on 5x7 canvas boards and then mounted to white-washed displays 8x10 in size. Mounted to a whitewashed plaque that can either hang on the wall or be placed in a decorative stand. Crystal says, "I depicted a pair of angels in my pieces because they represent protection, comfort, and guidance God gives us as His children, and I thought a representation of a mother and child would be perfect for the focus of Sally's book!" Find more from Crystal here!

#4. Book of Inspiration for Girlfriends, and Raising Kingdom Kids from Tyndale Publishers!

Enter today by leaving a comment.  Let us know what you're most looking forward to in reading The Lifegiving Home! Then use the entry form below to enter. a Rafflecopter giveaway

Buy your copy of The Lifegiving Home and The Lifegiving Home Experience at your favorite bookseller!

And don't forget to join us tomorrow night for the big Launch Party! We will have fantastic giveaways including a weekend at Sally's!  Register here: Online Launch Party Invitation!

Shouldn't We Value Children as Much as God Does?

Cherishing the Eternal and Infinite Value of Children

As the only girl with two older brothers, and having rarely babysat, I just did not have any experience with little children, let alone babies. at 31, I almost knew nothing about being a mother. But when my sweet little seven and a half pound, blue-eyed little girl came out of my womb, I was literally entranced.

Surprising to me was how much I fell in love with her, deeply, profoundly. I had planned my systems that I read about in all the books,  about how to manage her and control her schedule.  But when she was mine, all rules and systems went out the window, and I doted on my sweet little baby. I wanted to give her the best of loving care, to talk with her, to smile at her smiles, to enjoy her little baby hand pats on my chest when I would rock her to sleep and nurse her. I carried her in a pouch everywhere I went. Talking to her and smiling through out the day at every moment was natural. Cherishing her miraculous little smiles, giggles, gurgles, I was captivated. (Of course learning to be a good mama was a longterm process and was filled with the normal stress, but I was surprised by the pleasure I had from having my sweet little one.)

No one prepared me for the love I would feel.

Cultural messages surrounded me.

"Don't allow your children to rule your life."

"You have a little boy and a girl, don't have any more. They will take too much time."

"You have a stewardship of ministry and your children will keep you from the important work you could do."

Somehow, the multitude of messages confused me but didn't settle well in my heart. I searched for wisdom.

I began to reason, I should see what God has to say about children in the Bible and take my cues from Him.

What value did God place on children?

Searching the Bible, I began to realize that God had many opinions about babies, children.

The first blessing out of God's mouth after creating the whole universe, and then creating a living, thinking, creative human being in his image, was, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth," (Genesis 1:28)

God's blessing from the beginning was on parents having children in the first chapter of the Bible.

Psalm 127: 3-5 taught me that: "Children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.  How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." 

God considered that giving children to us was a gift. The Psalm said that a man was blessed who had many children. (a child was not evaluated by how much they cost, or how much time they demanded. God said in his value system, children were a gift and a reward.

Then I turned to the New Testament...

Jesus communicated his value of children over and over again. When the disciples thought the children were bothering Jesus, Luke tells us:

And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, "Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all."

In the midst of a flurry of adults who wanted the attention of Jesus, he stopped everything, to hold the children in his lap, tousled their wispy hair, he smiled deep into their bright eyes. When describing what adults should be like, he did not use standards of perfection or performance. Instead, he said adults were to become like children: innocent, trusting, generous in love, in short,  to become like children in order to truly understand what it meant to receive His kingdom.

Finally, in some of the most harsh language recorded in the gospels, Jesus warned against anyone harming children, neglecting them, not protecting them so as to cause them to stumble and lose their faith. His words haunted me, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea."Mark 9:42

In other words, it would be better for a person to be violently bound and thrown to drown a terrible death than for him to faee the wrath stored up for the ones who caused these precious ones to stumble. Stern words indeed.

And so I began to think Biblically about children and it changed my heart and my behavior. In a culture that often views a child by the expense in time and money he will cost in his lifetime, how important it was for me to intentionally recognize the infinite value of a tiny human being, created with the very imprint and image of God.

Within the home of any mama might be a future supreme court justice, a physician who heals cancer, a great missionary who leads the lost to Christ. When we see children as the future foundation of the character of the next generation of adults, we will take the raising of them seriously to plant righteousness forward.

I began to understand that to become a mother, who shepherds her child, gives great worth to my own life as I took stewardship over my children's lives. I understood as I grew through my journey of motherhood, that God had trusted a human being into my hands whose life would have implications for eternity.

Taking responsibility for my children caused me to have to become more excellent in every area of life.

My children would learn to trust in the truth of God's love by experiencing it through my affection, my words of life, my commitment to serve, my offering of unconditional love through all the days in my home

My children would learn the character, integrity and holiness of God by my modeling His reality through my own godly character, my faith, my growing in excellence because of His presence in my life.

My children would learn of the ways and truth of God because of my intentionality of cherishing His word every day, teaching them the precepts, the stories, the righteousness of God.

In short, God entrusted parents with the sacred charge of shaping a child's view of God and their understanding of righteousness by breathing in the oxygen of His reality in home, the laboratory of life, day by day, in season and out, forming his very faith and character through all the days of home life.

During these years, God seemed to whisper to me in my quiet times, Give foundations of strength and inspiration to these precious ones, but give them wings as well. Prepare them to take risks, to live by faith, so that they can take the messages and cherished values they learned at home and share them with a hurting world. And so our home became a launching pad, a place of blessing, as we sent our beloved children on their way—hopefully strong, whole, and secure in the ideals, faith, and values that truly matter.

They were taking His light out into the darkness. But our home remained the lighthouse they could return to for rest and restoration in between the adventures that took them into the world.

From The Lifegiving Home 

Buy my new book now HERE, at most of your favorite bookstores.

Be sure to listen to my new podcsast about the Eternal Value of Children to the Heart of God with Kristen today.

Remember to sign up today, the last day to enter to win a trip for two to visit me, HERE. Even if you are by yourself, you can join this live webcast in your home. For those who register, we will be giving a beautiful printable poster of the 24 Family Ways, announcing the winners of the trip to my house, two of my favorite recipes, a printable poster from my book and a number of wonderful prizes, including a handmade cherry cutting board especially for the Lifegiving home, 5 cd's of music for the Lifegiving home, a large gift version family study Bible and so much more. Hope you can join me and my friends for an evening of sharing about traditions, favorite resources, stories and more. (After you register for free, you will receive an email with instructions for Tuesday evening.)

Cheer for your Weekend from The Lifegiving Home

What if there was an army of light bearers spread all over the world at outposts where people could come to feel the touch of God, understand the truth of God, experience the beauty of God, witness the joy of God in the place called Home where the reality of God was celebrated every day?

Sally

The goodwill of mothers is like the goodwill of God.

Sarah

…home is the place where love makes us welcome, a shelter from which we will not be expelled.

Food is the universal language that eases hearts to open, tying secure knots of intimacy while satisfying bodily hunger, weaving tiny threads of kindred needs into friendship, camaraderie, and truth.

Sally

Home is a huge treasure chest filled with the riches of love, feasts, inspiration, great stories, sacrificial love, and all that a heart needs to grow strong and good.

Sally

May your home be filled with peace and rest this weekend. Wishing you grace. Thanks to all of you who have been so exceedingly gracious and encouraging about our newest book. You have indeed brought a smile to our hearts and fill us with joy.

Enjoy more inspiration from The Lifegiving Home and The Lifegiving Home Experience. You may find it an any of your favorite bookstores.

I hope you can join me at a web party on Tuesday night. Invite your friends to your home and celebrate friendship, inspiration and sweet fellowship about building a lifegiving home.

Gifts, recipes, printable posters, The 24 Family Ways poster, lovely offerings and a grand prize will be given away during the evening. Send this e-invitation to your friends and join in the fun. Register HERE